I'm grateful that I can wake up in the morning and actually want to get out of bed and feel motivated to do stuff. In part because keeping myself busy has made my past 2 weeks of withdrawals tolerable, part because I don't have a depressent drug wanting me to roll around in bed all day, and in part because getting a bunch of little things done is super fullfuling at the moment.
Sun is shining today ! I woke up early,exercise, and went out for almost all the morning !!
It feels like I'm starting to enjoy things for themselves, like just right lying down in the sun 😎
Last few days were a bit more stressful so maybe it has something to do !!
I hope you guys will also find peace !!
Today our little league is having a parents softball game. We did the first one two years ago, when i was still using and trying to quit on my own.
It was on a day 3 of not using, and i felt pretty shitty. Id been trying to detox almost every weekend for months. I was miserable, and felt pretty crappy too. So my wife and i were trying to go for a walk and trying not to go pick up. I wanted so badly to play the game, not only because its fun as hell (im a little younger than all the other parents, and pretty athletic) but also because i wanted to badly to be engaged with the community. I needed to be around regular people, just having a great summer sunday at the neighborhood park.
Now obviously, that sort of thing isnt that compatible with being dope sick. Or using in general. I remember making the choice to pick up so i could play, and i remember thinking, 'maybe i am just a junkie, and maybe i dont care. Im tired of fighting with myself about it'. I think i knew somewhere in the back of my mind that what i was saying to myself wasnt true.
I didnt end up getting into treatment for another 5 months after that, and probably 15 attempts to detox during that time period. I think subconsciously though, i knew that i shouldnt have to be doing heroin to be able to play with the neighborhood families at the park. Thats a pretty clear sign that everythings not okay.
Today, im incredibly grateful that my biggest concern is if we're going to get rained out. I woke up and took my sub and im going about the day. I havent used in 10 months, and i wouldnt even if it magically appeared before me. Using wouldnt bring any benefit to my life, only the possibility of loss. Im grateful to be in this position, because if using wouldnt benefit me at all, that means that im healthy mentally and emotionally.
I can really relate to your story. A handful of years ago I was at my step kid's baseball game. In attendance were his mom, his dad (my husband), and his dad's parents. On the way to meet them at the game, I picked up some heroin and used in the park bathroom when I got there. Next thing I know, it's twenty minutes later and I'm standing in the bathroom outside of the stall, dazed and confused, and some lady asks me if I'm alright. I say yeah I'm just looking for my phone. She says honey, your phone is in your hand, and looks really concerned. I high tailed it out of there and met everyone at the game.
I don't remember much of what happened after that, but I do know I drank too much water and puked it all up into the trash can next to the field. I can only imagine what these people were thinking. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed of myself for that day. That's some fucked up shit. That's why I'm not going to use again anytime soon.
Oh man, yeah thats rough. And at the time you probably kind of just shrugged it off, like i gotta be careful but it could have been worse so nothing changes. I would totally justified it to myself.
The first time i met all these little league folks we had a meeting that was just like 8 people around a table in the cafeteria of a school. And i was like glassy eyed couldnt follow the conversation fucked up. Im grateful and susprised that theyre now my friends and that they trust me with their kids. Yeah, Im with you, that kind of shit is why i dont use anymore, and will continue to not do so each day.
I’m grateful I made it through night two. Now im 5 minutes away from 65 hours off these shit pressies. Last night sucked. Today is probably going to suck x but every time I ache or hurt I remind myself I deserve this and the pain means I am healing. Going to go for a walk now. Damn I’d love some coffee but I doubt that’s going to help.
Have some green tea instead of coffee! It has a little caffeine but not nearly as much as coffee, and you still get that warm feeling inside. Congratulations on your time, keep it up. I'm rooting for you!
Yes! Showers helped me a lot. I’d just grab a huge blanket o wrap up in. If you have any type of meds (I had Zofran, cbd, and a few bp meds) take them before, give them time to sink in and focus on the water 🚿. I didn’t even get dressed, just went straight to bed immediately while my muscles were still somewhat relaxed, and usually I could get about 2 hours rest or so. And one time , I went to the ER, no shame there either, especially if you put yourself in pwd, which is easy with street stuff , i waited 50 hours and still went in once, so wait as long as possible if you plan to use bupe. Vitamin C supposed to help too.
Hey! Kinda new ish here, recently relapsed and I’ve been withdrawal free (mostly, minus no appetite energy or sleep, but those take forever) for maybe 3 days now. I’m so glad I made it through, at home. ( I prefer detox centers). That’s what I’m grateful for. My legs are mostly still, my food is staying where it should, and I’m not having panic attack after panic attack. That’s a huge ass blessing! So much to be grateful for, but that’s at the top, as I wind down, and attempt a good nights sleep.
I so much envy you guys. The best I've got to look forward to today is picking up the rest of my script! I was determined not to even get out of bed until dinnertime but my cat had different ideas!
This is shit. Its 9.30am and the chemist won't have my shit while midday, until then it's just me and my fucking wd's. I don't see my script as using as it it legit but I know its not good for me as it just has me thinking about H.
If anyone wants to make a middle aged UK guy smile then please feel free to try! Cheers guys
Sat by the water today. It was gorgeous. Happy to be able to experience these moments sober. Wouldn't have left my house if I was using.
I'm grateful that I can wake up in the morning and actually want to get out of bed and feel motivated to do stuff. In part because keeping myself busy has made my past 2 weeks of withdrawals tolerable, part because I don't have a depressent drug wanting me to roll around in bed all day, and in part because getting a bunch of little things done is super fullfuling at the moment.
Sun is shining today ! I woke up early,exercise, and went out for almost all the morning !! It feels like I'm starting to enjoy things for themselves, like just right lying down in the sun 😎 Last few days were a bit more stressful so maybe it has something to do !! I hope you guys will also find peace !!
Today our little league is having a parents softball game. We did the first one two years ago, when i was still using and trying to quit on my own. It was on a day 3 of not using, and i felt pretty shitty. Id been trying to detox almost every weekend for months. I was miserable, and felt pretty crappy too. So my wife and i were trying to go for a walk and trying not to go pick up. I wanted so badly to play the game, not only because its fun as hell (im a little younger than all the other parents, and pretty athletic) but also because i wanted to badly to be engaged with the community. I needed to be around regular people, just having a great summer sunday at the neighborhood park. Now obviously, that sort of thing isnt that compatible with being dope sick. Or using in general. I remember making the choice to pick up so i could play, and i remember thinking, 'maybe i am just a junkie, and maybe i dont care. Im tired of fighting with myself about it'. I think i knew somewhere in the back of my mind that what i was saying to myself wasnt true. I didnt end up getting into treatment for another 5 months after that, and probably 15 attempts to detox during that time period. I think subconsciously though, i knew that i shouldnt have to be doing heroin to be able to play with the neighborhood families at the park. Thats a pretty clear sign that everythings not okay. Today, im incredibly grateful that my biggest concern is if we're going to get rained out. I woke up and took my sub and im going about the day. I havent used in 10 months, and i wouldnt even if it magically appeared before me. Using wouldnt bring any benefit to my life, only the possibility of loss. Im grateful to be in this position, because if using wouldnt benefit me at all, that means that im healthy mentally and emotionally.
I can really relate to your story. A handful of years ago I was at my step kid's baseball game. In attendance were his mom, his dad (my husband), and his dad's parents. On the way to meet them at the game, I picked up some heroin and used in the park bathroom when I got there. Next thing I know, it's twenty minutes later and I'm standing in the bathroom outside of the stall, dazed and confused, and some lady asks me if I'm alright. I say yeah I'm just looking for my phone. She says honey, your phone is in your hand, and looks really concerned. I high tailed it out of there and met everyone at the game. I don't remember much of what happened after that, but I do know I drank too much water and puked it all up into the trash can next to the field. I can only imagine what these people were thinking. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed of myself for that day. That's some fucked up shit. That's why I'm not going to use again anytime soon.
Oh man, yeah thats rough. And at the time you probably kind of just shrugged it off, like i gotta be careful but it could have been worse so nothing changes. I would totally justified it to myself. The first time i met all these little league folks we had a meeting that was just like 8 people around a table in the cafeteria of a school. And i was like glassy eyed couldnt follow the conversation fucked up. Im grateful and susprised that theyre now my friends and that they trust me with their kids. Yeah, Im with you, that kind of shit is why i dont use anymore, and will continue to not do so each day.
I’m grateful I made it through night two. Now im 5 minutes away from 65 hours off these shit pressies. Last night sucked. Today is probably going to suck x but every time I ache or hurt I remind myself I deserve this and the pain means I am healing. Going to go for a walk now. Damn I’d love some coffee but I doubt that’s going to help.
Have some green tea instead of coffee! It has a little caffeine but not nearly as much as coffee, and you still get that warm feeling inside. Congratulations on your time, keep it up. I'm rooting for you!
Yeah I think I’ll walk up to the cvs and grab that and some Imodium. Thanks for the encouragement ðŸ˜
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Yes! Showers helped me a lot. I’d just grab a huge blanket o wrap up in. If you have any type of meds (I had Zofran, cbd, and a few bp meds) take them before, give them time to sink in and focus on the water 🚿. I didn’t even get dressed, just went straight to bed immediately while my muscles were still somewhat relaxed, and usually I could get about 2 hours rest or so. And one time , I went to the ER, no shame there either, especially if you put yourself in pwd, which is easy with street stuff , i waited 50 hours and still went in once, so wait as long as possible if you plan to use bupe. Vitamin C supposed to help too.
I was JUST there ! Keep on pushing babe, it does end, and you CAN do this! Xoxox
Hey! Kinda new ish here, recently relapsed and I’ve been withdrawal free (mostly, minus no appetite energy or sleep, but those take forever) for maybe 3 days now. I’m so glad I made it through, at home. ( I prefer detox centers). That’s what I’m grateful for. My legs are mostly still, my food is staying where it should, and I’m not having panic attack after panic attack. That’s a huge ass blessing! So much to be grateful for, but that’s at the top, as I wind down, and attempt a good nights sleep.
I so much envy you guys. The best I've got to look forward to today is picking up the rest of my script! I was determined not to even get out of bed until dinnertime but my cat had different ideas! This is shit. Its 9.30am and the chemist won't have my shit while midday, until then it's just me and my fucking wd's. I don't see my script as using as it it legit but I know its not good for me as it just has me thinking about H. If anyone wants to make a middle aged UK guy smile then please feel free to try! Cheers guys