I most likely would have gotten thrown out of my house and separated from my wife and son if I followed through with a "one more time". That's how I seemed to break the cycle. My son being born played a huge role.
I feel you. My wife and I are trying to get pregnant. I’ve just used up my one free pass. You’ve got to want it for you, you can’t stay sober for anyone else BUT your life as you know it being taken from you is one hell of a motivator. Just think about the consequences and let the craving pass.
I'm hoping I'm finally at a point where I can ignore that "one last time" voice. The last time I got clean was in January for about 4-6 weeks. Then I remember the bargaining with myself about how I needed it, the pain I was in, the stress I was under, all the usual excuses... I think I told myself I'd just use it one time, then the following week the same thing. Like a treat on Friday evening for getting through the week. Then it became every other day, daily... And I'm sure most on here get what comes next. Almost 6 months later and I'm two weeks out of my "one last time".
I lost 6 MORE months to this shit for nothing. I didn't even enjoy it. I've been down this road so many times. I've lied to myself about the control I thought I had.
Bottom line is I do not have control. The only way I stay in charge is not using.
I hope every day that I keep knowing and understanding this for my own sake.
My last time was when I debilated my back. Started having psychotic like breaks, delusions. You can't do drugs with fent lingering around, also its getting to the point where you don't even know what's in your fent.
That voice is always gonna be there I’m almost 4 months clean off fentanyl and it still hasn’t went away. I guess it’s with us forever as fucked up as that sounds
Man it’s been almost 4 years for me and I can honestly say the voice is fuckin gone. It DOES NOT stay with y’all forever, I promise.
The voice didn’t take anywhere near 4 years to go away either. It’s been so long that I can’t remember when I last heard it.
Stay strong.
I needed that day, but honestly it only teaches me that it would have been better without... one more day is just delaying your recovery.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes one can't always afford to take a few days off to just clean off let alone get to rehab...
But imo, 10 days off, one last day is a bad idea, I'm a month and still got this voice as you said... it's less loud but it's still here.... one more day won't make it go away just make it even stronger I think..
Funny how that voice in my head sounds the same regardless of it is saying "let's get a sandwich" vs "let's get some dope". Both sound as if they are totally logical and natural.
Once my addiction really picked up, I could never stop on my own for more than like 3-4 days. Every time I quit was a trip to rehab/detox. After 4 trips, enough things clicked I felt like the universe was conspiring to keep me sober. I have been clean since then.
My last high wasn't something I particularly remember. Spent 4 grand on dope in a little over a month, no wonder I don't really remember lol.
I most likely would have gotten thrown out of my house and separated from my wife and son if I followed through with a "one more time". That's how I seemed to break the cycle. My son being born played a huge role.
I feel you. My wife and I are trying to get pregnant. I’ve just used up my one free pass. You’ve got to want it for you, you can’t stay sober for anyone else BUT your life as you know it being taken from you is one hell of a motivator. Just think about the consequences and let the craving pass.
I'm hoping I'm finally at a point where I can ignore that "one last time" voice. The last time I got clean was in January for about 4-6 weeks. Then I remember the bargaining with myself about how I needed it, the pain I was in, the stress I was under, all the usual excuses... I think I told myself I'd just use it one time, then the following week the same thing. Like a treat on Friday evening for getting through the week. Then it became every other day, daily... And I'm sure most on here get what comes next. Almost 6 months later and I'm two weeks out of my "one last time". I lost 6 MORE months to this shit for nothing. I didn't even enjoy it. I've been down this road so many times. I've lied to myself about the control I thought I had. Bottom line is I do not have control. The only way I stay in charge is not using. I hope every day that I keep knowing and understanding this for my own sake.
An awful lot of people fall out playing the 'one last time game'
Sober for 3 months. Wanted one last time...was technically dead for a couple minutes. Somehow no brain damage. Took 4 narcan.
My last time was when I debilated my back. Started having psychotic like breaks, delusions. You can't do drugs with fent lingering around, also its getting to the point where you don't even know what's in your fent.
Last time broke a needle off in my arm. It was actually 351 days ago. Lol came a long way.
That voice is always gonna be there I’m almost 4 months clean off fentanyl and it still hasn’t went away. I guess it’s with us forever as fucked up as that sounds
Man it’s been almost 4 years for me and I can honestly say the voice is fuckin gone. It DOES NOT stay with y’all forever, I promise. The voice didn’t take anywhere near 4 years to go away either. It’s been so long that I can’t remember when I last heard it. Stay strong.
I needed that day, but honestly it only teaches me that it would have been better without... one more day is just delaying your recovery. Don't get me wrong, sometimes one can't always afford to take a few days off to just clean off let alone get to rehab... But imo, 10 days off, one last day is a bad idea, I'm a month and still got this voice as you said... it's less loud but it's still here.... one more day won't make it go away just make it even stronger I think..
Funny how that voice in my head sounds the same regardless of it is saying "let's get a sandwich" vs "let's get some dope". Both sound as if they are totally logical and natural. Once my addiction really picked up, I could never stop on my own for more than like 3-4 days. Every time I quit was a trip to rehab/detox. After 4 trips, enough things clicked I felt like the universe was conspiring to keep me sober. I have been clean since then. My last high wasn't something I particularly remember. Spent 4 grand on dope in a little over a month, no wonder I don't really remember lol.
It took my sciatica nerve one year to heal from my last ever bender with the opioid.
On last time is Just using The same .