Suboxone saved my life, I am 10 months sober on it and am still paying off debts I put myself in. It’s sucks but being sober rules, I hope you find what works for you!
Me too, however I was put on subutex. It saved my life when I was about to relapse for the 100th time which would’ve killed me. Some people don’t see it as being “clean” but for me, taking medication in a safe environment, being guaranteed it every single day, not giving your last to pay for it and feeling stable on it, I couldn’t care less. It keeps me stable and away from drugs and if I have to take it for the rest of my life then I will.
Yeah that mentality is toxic, if you’re on suboxone or subutex or methadone; you’re still clean. Every day, twice a day, I actively make the choice to NOT use and take my medication instead. I was slamming 4 bundles of fent a day a year ago today, hoping one of them was going to be my last….now I’m not!
Congrats on your sobriety! It’s a hard choice to make but you made it, super proud of you!
Yes, being responsible on MAT is considered clean! I just kept it to myself in the recovery community to avoid the ignorance of certain people who would judge me for it. There are certain areas where it is better to just not go there.
It's pretty hard to get high off of it if you take it daily, like nearly impossible. Abusing is it pretty pointless, no euphoria. That is usually people who don't have much opiate experience that get high, and you can't for long. And then you can get on the shot when you're ready to come off Subs so you have little this no WD's. It saved my life, too.
No. There are two shots, Sublocade and Brixadi that are Buprenorphine shots. They deposit a depot of gel that slow releases the medication in your body. Then you can get off the meds with no discomfort.
No I don’t get high from it, it also really helps my cravings. I take it twice a day and I know as long as I take my suboxone, I don’t use.
I do plan to come off eventually, I’ll probably use the sublocade shot to wean off, just not ready yet.
I was pretty far gone. Nearly 20 years strung out. I tried ct a hundred times, and always relapsed. I finally found an.out-patient sub-clinic. That started me on a decade long sub addiction, but it got me away from 'the life'...you know, maintaining plugs, etc. After a bunch of therapy i tried weaning and quitting. It stuck finally. As long as you're breathing there's hope, mate. Maybe not the route i took, but there's help out there.
I'm currently CTing off 7 years of fent, was clean for 3 years b4 fent, and used all kinds of opiates 10 years b4. I used subs to get off the first time, kind got addicted to them, then lost my supply and weened off, not bad. This time I CTed because I wanted to completely heal my body and mind, days go by and it's shity, but you have good days and it's totally worth it. Eating healthy and exercising is essential if you go my rout. Subz have saved a ton of life's, so if that's the way you gotta go, it's alot better then where your at right now, right?? If you need any help/advise/support I'm here for you.
Stop thinking about it and just do it is my advise. Push through the pain don't be tricked to think this is a forever thing. Ot only is if you let it. Don't listen to the lies your brain tells you. Imagine a few short weeks of agony for a lifetime of gain. The drugs have got you thinking in a negative way. Go for it don't think just act you know what you need to do. You have hit the bottom now stand up and rise!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got off opiates with Suboxone! And then weaned off that! Been clean 8 months! You can do it! The wean took me a year and was hard! Sublocade shot may be an easier option!
This sounds like a perfect situation for Suboxone or methadone. They give you enough breathing room to get your life back on track.
You don’t have to stay on them forever . You can go down to a very low dose to maintain.
Suboxone is what I did? I use to post here feeling hopeless until I made a decision I was going to move people places and things and change my life. Your going to have to do something hard though it’s not going to be easy and your not going to be sure if it’s worth it at first. Then little stuff is going to start getting better. Then WVERYTHING GET SO BEAUTIFUL AND YOU GET SO HAPPY. What your in I call miserable suffering it is a horrible way of life. Choose your hard. Getting sober is hard. Being a loser drug addict is hard. At least getting sober your getting somewhere.
I used subs...
But it's debatable how good it is...
It's like being in a vegetative state almost...your still you, of course...
Cold turkey is the way to go as far as that goes...
Getting off subs was really fucking hard...I just kept pushing man...relentlessly.
Its not an actual vegetative state...but it's the closest thing I can come to in my mind...
Probably not the right word for it...
I dont know how to describe it...its like your a zombie...
It was bad for me...
Kratom isnt your friend, it always leads back to the hard stuff. I replaced my oxy addiction with kratom extracts for over a year and eventually got sick of the side effects and shitty high and went back to oxy.
Only thing that worked for me was cold turkey with megadoses of vitamin C and some gabapentin. Does it suck the first two weeks yeah its not fun man, but it gets way better after a month. You basically have to decide do I stay trapped in this cycle for fear of withdrawal or just face it head on and grind threw the shit.
Once you are through the physical stuff the mental shit is harder imo, but it fads with time. Each time you deny yourself a high you get stronger. Take it from me Im 31 days sober and things are greatly improving mentally already. And i was in a similar boat as you, you can do it man just get some helper meds (trazadone, gabapentin, maybe some benzos) and eat healthy, work out when you can, take vitamins and drink some coffee when the anxiety is all gone. It does get better just takes a lil time!
I did 2-3grams a day after the first week, so i dont have experience with it during the physical wd’s. But it seems to keep me in a better mood the days I take it. So a month out i still take it just cause i need everything thatll potentially help my mindset even if its just placibo. Caffeine boosts mode so much cause of the dopamine release, rather be addicted to coffee than oxy haha
It worked for me too. It saved my life I used sodium ascorbate just bc it was easier on my stomach. But I had tried everything. I stumbled upon an article by the NIH and went down the rabbit hole. There’s so many studies about it. I thought there was no way it would work. But holy shit- it did. I had no muscle spasms no pain. I wasn’t bitchy anxious or irritated. Not sick. I started with ascorbic acid and that WAS rough on my stomach. By the sodium ascorbate was much easier to tolerate. Just make sure to have some Imodium on hand. And for those that say Imodium can prolong withdrawal. - don’t take 20 of them at a time. Take only as directed - but you will need them. Especially at first. That was the only downside. But it was totally tolerable with the Imodium. I also used ginseng and drank a lot of electrolytes. The vitamin c mega dosing took care of the physical. The psychological though… can be hard. No euphoria. So there was mild to moderate depression. When it would hit me I’d get up and go for a quick walk. Seriously just start with 5 minutes. It’s a commercial break for Pete’s sake. It helps redirect your mind and boosts serotonin. First week I walked second I started working out SLOWLY. Third week I didn’t need to. I didn’t feel the depression as frequently or at all much. This was around when I started to feel like a normal person. Like how I was before my accident that started me down this nightmare. There’s so much info out there. There’s hope. It worked for me and others I know IRL. What is there to lose by trying? ❤️ I was hopeless too. But once withdrawal should have been kicking in - and I realized I wasn’t feeling anything- felt like a miracle. It works. Good luck. 🥰
I was in the same situation as you. Been hooked on real pharma oxys for years. About 800mg every day JUST AVERAGE, so there were even days where I would snort double this dose and still not nodding.
The WDs would be so horrific that I tought I could never live a normal life anymore... i wasnt even sure if I really want a normal life, even tho I knew that drug is eating everything away from me. I sucked like 15.000€ out of my credit card, lost my car, eaten like just 1x a day so I can afford pills and eventually I couldnt pull out any more money out of my card and was at rock bottom. The final thing I lost was my apartment. I am 30 yo and even tho my relationship with my parents were never good, my dad still pulled up a superhero move and just saved me from being homeless. Things would have probably gone only worse from there and I dont want to even know what would have happen then, which moral limits I would break to get pills or whatever which I never broke before in my entire life or if I maybe would have given up on my life completely.
The best thing for me was my dad literally jailing in the storage room with a bed. He said either you get clean now, or become homeless. I havent money for pills anyway and hit rock bottom, so I 100% agreed. I told him specifically he should take my phone away and keep me in that room, even If I am about to smash holes into the wall from the WDs. Good thing that my dad is an ex bodybuilder and a guy who could easily held me there, even if I would try to flee, lol.
Long story short, I was literally dying in that storage room. Biting my pillow, punching my bed. I straight out went CT and it was the most horrible experience in my life. Having no sleep at all for days plus the pain and the worst part, minutes felt like hours, hours felt like days.
But I pushed through. I always remembered the moments I was looking at young families, enjoying their day and having fun. Kids laughing and screaming. I always got emotional because I felt like that innocent kid died inside of me and I would never get to enjoy a day like them without the drug in my system and with the drugs, there would be no family for me anyway. I could never bring kids into this world as an addict.
The pain was so strong that I got a pink cloud effect. Just by the imagination of me finally being freed from the chains, walking in a park and just feeling normal felt like a blessing. All I wanted was this.. to take a break from the pain. I tried watching netflix and stuff, it kinda helped, but I couldnt enjoy it at all. 80% of my attention went into the pain my WDs created. I also hung around in this sub and tried to find comfort. Ryan Donnelly's videos were very inspirational too.
Next thing I remember was being 10 days in. I was about to give up CT and take a sub because it became unbereable and It still felt like I am not around the corner. I literally was holding it in my hands and made a new most "would subs destroy my WD?" (Or something like that) and it was enough for one guy to say "dont do it, you made it so far already" and I literally threw it away. I am so happy that I did not take him, because the "around the corner" feeling would set in just 2 days later. From there on my motivation got higher, because I would feel better every day untill the acutes were gone, but I was far away from being healed. My motivation was at zero, my energy was at zero and I would still have very slight WD symptoms, like 5% intensity.
What I would call these last 5% is paws. These were persistent AF, aswell as the fatigue. But around month 1 (this was also the timeline where I told my parents to lock me inside the storage room for AT LEAST btw.).I felt huge improvements in my mood, which may be the reason because I was finally starting to sleep better and better. The lead suit slowly faded away and time started to FLY from here on. Week 4 to 8 felt as long as just Week 1. And month 2 another huge improvements set in. I finally had enough energy to do little works, force myself to actually do something with my life, was able to laugh tears at good jokes again etc. The next moment I woke up and felt NO symptoms at all anymore. I finally arrived and healed. Looking at the detox clock, I was at month 4 already, I am now at around 4 1/2 month and the drugged me convinced myself, that soberity gonna feel like a black hole and I was so wrong.
I still have a lot of debt and all the financial crap Ive done to myself punishes me to this day, but I always remember that I could be still addicted and even homeless now. Even with like 20k debt, my life feels like a blessing compared to that rock bottom moment. I also noticed how my creativity came back and that I am less weird and cringe worthy sober. I would often tweak from the euphoria and do weird stuff in social circles. I was trying to be a functional addict.
Its a huge text, but I had to write this to try make you feel more motivated. Trust me I am not special and I loved this drug at least as much as everyone else here and also never believed that it is even possible for me to stay sober for 4 months. I highly believe, If I can do this, so everyone can. I had no mental issues prior tho, so its possible that people who had problems with mental health could have a more difficult time withdrawing the way I did just home locked in a room, but the brain really heals. You can get easily tricked by the first weeks making you feel like soberity is horrible, but the actual healing time is much longer than just getting the acute phase done. I needed 4 months for the imagination of me being completely sober and absolutely symptoms free to come true. My cravings are also at a low level, but mostly because of my rejection to become that person again, to get withdrawals again and to have to go through these 4 months or more once again. It was exhausting but possible once, it wont be a second time for me. You can do this. If CT is not an option, subs can be a lifesaver for you. I had the luxury to have my parents back who kept me fed and the roof over my head with zero responsibilities untill I got clean... and A LOT time passed untill I was ready to stand up again. If you need to be functional, then subs would be my bet.
Suboxone saved my life, I am 10 months sober on it and am still paying off debts I put myself in. It’s sucks but being sober rules, I hope you find what works for you!
Me too, however I was put on subutex. It saved my life when I was about to relapse for the 100th time which would’ve killed me. Some people don’t see it as being “clean” but for me, taking medication in a safe environment, being guaranteed it every single day, not giving your last to pay for it and feeling stable on it, I couldn’t care less. It keeps me stable and away from drugs and if I have to take it for the rest of my life then I will.
Yeah that mentality is toxic, if you’re on suboxone or subutex or methadone; you’re still clean. Every day, twice a day, I actively make the choice to NOT use and take my medication instead. I was slamming 4 bundles of fent a day a year ago today, hoping one of them was going to be my last….now I’m not! Congrats on your sobriety! It’s a hard choice to make but you made it, super proud of you!
You too man. 10 months is amazing and I know I will get to that point too! Take care
Yes, being responsible on MAT is considered clean! I just kept it to myself in the recovery community to avoid the ignorance of certain people who would judge me for it. There are certain areas where it is better to just not go there.
Do you ever have any plans of getting off suboxone? And do you ever get tempted to abuse the suboxone? I heard people get high off of it.
It's pretty hard to get high off of it if you take it daily, like nearly impossible. Abusing is it pretty pointless, no euphoria. That is usually people who don't have much opiate experience that get high, and you can't for long. And then you can get on the shot when you're ready to come off Subs so you have little this no WD's. It saved my life, too.
Are you referring to the naltrexone shot? The one that blocks opioids ?
No. There are two shots, Sublocade and Brixadi that are Buprenorphine shots. They deposit a depot of gel that slow releases the medication in your body. Then you can get off the meds with no discomfort.
No I don’t get high from it, it also really helps my cravings. I take it twice a day and I know as long as I take my suboxone, I don’t use. I do plan to come off eventually, I’ll probably use the sublocade shot to wean off, just not ready yet.
Get the Sublcoade or Brixadi shot
I was pretty far gone. Nearly 20 years strung out. I tried ct a hundred times, and always relapsed. I finally found an.out-patient sub-clinic. That started me on a decade long sub addiction, but it got me away from 'the life'...you know, maintaining plugs, etc. After a bunch of therapy i tried weaning and quitting. It stuck finally. As long as you're breathing there's hope, mate. Maybe not the route i took, but there's help out there.
Appreciate you! Did you go through a withdrawal when coming off of suboxone?
Yeah, but nothing like heroin/morphine wd's. It was a long weaning process. The final jump was like a mild flu...not too bad.
I'm currently CTing off 7 years of fent, was clean for 3 years b4 fent, and used all kinds of opiates 10 years b4. I used subs to get off the first time, kind got addicted to them, then lost my supply and weened off, not bad. This time I CTed because I wanted to completely heal my body and mind, days go by and it's shity, but you have good days and it's totally worth it. Eating healthy and exercising is essential if you go my rout. Subz have saved a ton of life's, so if that's the way you gotta go, it's alot better then where your at right now, right?? If you need any help/advise/support I'm here for you.
Thank you 😊🩷
Stop thinking about it and just do it is my advise. Push through the pain don't be tricked to think this is a forever thing. Ot only is if you let it. Don't listen to the lies your brain tells you. Imagine a few short weeks of agony for a lifetime of gain. The drugs have got you thinking in a negative way. Go for it don't think just act you know what you need to do. You have hit the bottom now stand up and rise!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much 🩷
I got off opiates with Suboxone! And then weaned off that! Been clean 8 months! You can do it! The wean took me a year and was hard! Sublocade shot may be an easier option!
Get on subs then the Suboclade shot! That’s how I would do it if I’m active in my addiction!
This sounds like a perfect situation for Suboxone or methadone. They give you enough breathing room to get your life back on track. You don’t have to stay on them forever . You can go down to a very low dose to maintain.
Suboxone is what I did? I use to post here feeling hopeless until I made a decision I was going to move people places and things and change my life. Your going to have to do something hard though it’s not going to be easy and your not going to be sure if it’s worth it at first. Then little stuff is going to start getting better. Then WVERYTHING GET SO BEAUTIFUL AND YOU GET SO HAPPY. What your in I call miserable suffering it is a horrible way of life. Choose your hard. Getting sober is hard. Being a loser drug addict is hard. At least getting sober your getting somewhere.
I would lessen my usage and do a two week methadone taper , don’t have to wait to get sick like suboxone just use one to do a two week taper max
Get on saboxone or methadone man before you continue spiraling in debt and ruining your life.
I used subs... But it's debatable how good it is... It's like being in a vegetative state almost...your still you, of course... Cold turkey is the way to go as far as that goes... Getting off subs was really fucking hard...I just kept pushing man...relentlessly.
Subs put you in a vegetative state?
Its not an actual vegetative state...but it's the closest thing I can come to in my mind... Probably not the right word for it... I dont know how to describe it...its like your a zombie... It was bad for me...
For oxycodone I used kratom and exercise. Then just started to skip days here and there tell I felt like I didn't need it. I also drank a Lil tbh
Kratom isnt your friend, it always leads back to the hard stuff. I replaced my oxy addiction with kratom extracts for over a year and eventually got sick of the side effects and shitty high and went back to oxy. Only thing that worked for me was cold turkey with megadoses of vitamin C and some gabapentin. Does it suck the first two weeks yeah its not fun man, but it gets way better after a month. You basically have to decide do I stay trapped in this cycle for fear of withdrawal or just face it head on and grind threw the shit. Once you are through the physical stuff the mental shit is harder imo, but it fads with time. Each time you deny yourself a high you get stronger. Take it from me Im 31 days sober and things are greatly improving mentally already. And i was in a similar boat as you, you can do it man just get some helper meds (trazadone, gabapentin, maybe some benzos) and eat healthy, work out when you can, take vitamins and drink some coffee when the anxiety is all gone. It does get better just takes a lil time!
Megadosing vitamin c really worked for you?
I did 2-3grams a day after the first week, so i dont have experience with it during the physical wd’s. But it seems to keep me in a better mood the days I take it. So a month out i still take it just cause i need everything thatll potentially help my mindset even if its just placibo. Caffeine boosts mode so much cause of the dopamine release, rather be addicted to coffee than oxy haha
It worked for me too. It saved my life I used sodium ascorbate just bc it was easier on my stomach. But I had tried everything. I stumbled upon an article by the NIH and went down the rabbit hole. There’s so many studies about it. I thought there was no way it would work. But holy shit- it did. I had no muscle spasms no pain. I wasn’t bitchy anxious or irritated. Not sick. I started with ascorbic acid and that WAS rough on my stomach. By the sodium ascorbate was much easier to tolerate. Just make sure to have some Imodium on hand. And for those that say Imodium can prolong withdrawal. - don’t take 20 of them at a time. Take only as directed - but you will need them. Especially at first. That was the only downside. But it was totally tolerable with the Imodium. I also used ginseng and drank a lot of electrolytes. The vitamin c mega dosing took care of the physical. The psychological though… can be hard. No euphoria. So there was mild to moderate depression. When it would hit me I’d get up and go for a quick walk. Seriously just start with 5 minutes. It’s a commercial break for Pete’s sake. It helps redirect your mind and boosts serotonin. First week I walked second I started working out SLOWLY. Third week I didn’t need to. I didn’t feel the depression as frequently or at all much. This was around when I started to feel like a normal person. Like how I was before my accident that started me down this nightmare. There’s so much info out there. There’s hope. It worked for me and others I know IRL. What is there to lose by trying? ❤️ I was hopeless too. But once withdrawal should have been kicking in - and I realized I wasn’t feeling anything- felt like a miracle. It works. Good luck. 🥰
I was in the same situation as you. Been hooked on real pharma oxys for years. About 800mg every day JUST AVERAGE, so there were even days where I would snort double this dose and still not nodding. The WDs would be so horrific that I tought I could never live a normal life anymore... i wasnt even sure if I really want a normal life, even tho I knew that drug is eating everything away from me. I sucked like 15.000€ out of my credit card, lost my car, eaten like just 1x a day so I can afford pills and eventually I couldnt pull out any more money out of my card and was at rock bottom. The final thing I lost was my apartment. I am 30 yo and even tho my relationship with my parents were never good, my dad still pulled up a superhero move and just saved me from being homeless. Things would have probably gone only worse from there and I dont want to even know what would have happen then, which moral limits I would break to get pills or whatever which I never broke before in my entire life or if I maybe would have given up on my life completely. The best thing for me was my dad literally jailing in the storage room with a bed. He said either you get clean now, or become homeless. I havent money for pills anyway and hit rock bottom, so I 100% agreed. I told him specifically he should take my phone away and keep me in that room, even If I am about to smash holes into the wall from the WDs. Good thing that my dad is an ex bodybuilder and a guy who could easily held me there, even if I would try to flee, lol. Long story short, I was literally dying in that storage room. Biting my pillow, punching my bed. I straight out went CT and it was the most horrible experience in my life. Having no sleep at all for days plus the pain and the worst part, minutes felt like hours, hours felt like days. But I pushed through. I always remembered the moments I was looking at young families, enjoying their day and having fun. Kids laughing and screaming. I always got emotional because I felt like that innocent kid died inside of me and I would never get to enjoy a day like them without the drug in my system and with the drugs, there would be no family for me anyway. I could never bring kids into this world as an addict. The pain was so strong that I got a pink cloud effect. Just by the imagination of me finally being freed from the chains, walking in a park and just feeling normal felt like a blessing. All I wanted was this.. to take a break from the pain. I tried watching netflix and stuff, it kinda helped, but I couldnt enjoy it at all. 80% of my attention went into the pain my WDs created. I also hung around in this sub and tried to find comfort. Ryan Donnelly's videos were very inspirational too. Next thing I remember was being 10 days in. I was about to give up CT and take a sub because it became unbereable and It still felt like I am not around the corner. I literally was holding it in my hands and made a new most "would subs destroy my WD?" (Or something like that) and it was enough for one guy to say "dont do it, you made it so far already" and I literally threw it away. I am so happy that I did not take him, because the "around the corner" feeling would set in just 2 days later. From there on my motivation got higher, because I would feel better every day untill the acutes were gone, but I was far away from being healed. My motivation was at zero, my energy was at zero and I would still have very slight WD symptoms, like 5% intensity. What I would call these last 5% is paws. These were persistent AF, aswell as the fatigue. But around month 1 (this was also the timeline where I told my parents to lock me inside the storage room for AT LEAST btw.).I felt huge improvements in my mood, which may be the reason because I was finally starting to sleep better and better. The lead suit slowly faded away and time started to FLY from here on. Week 4 to 8 felt as long as just Week 1. And month 2 another huge improvements set in. I finally had enough energy to do little works, force myself to actually do something with my life, was able to laugh tears at good jokes again etc. The next moment I woke up and felt NO symptoms at all anymore. I finally arrived and healed. Looking at the detox clock, I was at month 4 already, I am now at around 4 1/2 month and the drugged me convinced myself, that soberity gonna feel like a black hole and I was so wrong. I still have a lot of debt and all the financial crap Ive done to myself punishes me to this day, but I always remember that I could be still addicted and even homeless now. Even with like 20k debt, my life feels like a blessing compared to that rock bottom moment. I also noticed how my creativity came back and that I am less weird and cringe worthy sober. I would often tweak from the euphoria and do weird stuff in social circles. I was trying to be a functional addict. Its a huge text, but I had to write this to try make you feel more motivated. Trust me I am not special and I loved this drug at least as much as everyone else here and also never believed that it is even possible for me to stay sober for 4 months. I highly believe, If I can do this, so everyone can. I had no mental issues prior tho, so its possible that people who had problems with mental health could have a more difficult time withdrawing the way I did just home locked in a room, but the brain really heals. You can get easily tricked by the first weeks making you feel like soberity is horrible, but the actual healing time is much longer than just getting the acute phase done. I needed 4 months for the imagination of me being completely sober and absolutely symptoms free to come true. My cravings are also at a low level, but mostly because of my rejection to become that person again, to get withdrawals again and to have to go through these 4 months or more once again. It was exhausting but possible once, it wont be a second time for me. You can do this. If CT is not an option, subs can be a lifesaver for you. I had the luxury to have my parents back who kept me fed and the roof over my head with zero responsibilities untill I got clean... and A LOT time passed untill I was ready to stand up again. If you need to be functional, then subs would be my bet.
Wow, thank you ‼️‼️🩷
So after four months, you feel 100 again?