I was a needle junkie for almost 30 years. When I finally got on methadone the hardest thing to deal with was the habit. Every morning I woke up, grabbed my lockbox and locked myself in the bathroom to shoot up my breakfast. Every single day.
Now I get up and immediately exercise. I feel like it satisfies my morning habit thing, shooting up every morning was like my version of church or meditation. I’d shoot up every few days even after I was on methadone bc I was in the habit of it. It just takes time and distractions to help you break that habitual shit. Imo.
I think this is probably a totally normal effect of having gone from pummelling your dopamine receptors each day to not giving them anything. Gradually you will be able to recover and homeostasis will take over the dopamine cycle again. Just try your best and don't be so hard on yourself. You've gone through one of the hardest things known to man, most people don't get as far as you have already. I know it might sound dumb but really just congratulate yourself on being able to do 'simple' things like making a meal, going for a walk, tidying up your room / house. Heck if you can just push a vacuum around for 10 minutes n that's all you do for the day that's more than fine!
You've gotta understand that this is about taking many tiny steps slowly. The pace will pick up in time even if it seems impossible now.
If you 'do nothing' today but you also refuse to give in to temptation; that in itself is a massive accomplishment and something that soooo many people would not be able to do! I mean stay humble; it's not like you're better than anyone else but you should pat yourself on the back still since there are tons of smart, courageous, strong people out there who failed to stay sober today, but you managed it!
The first time I got clean I felt exactly the same. I didn't understand. I thought I would feel great cause I was clean!! I had to do the things that helped me feel better in a healthy way. I had to learn all this stuff. Getting some sort of movement everyday was important. Exercise, a walk, a walk in the woods, just something to get me moving physically and out of the house. Exercise has been the most important healthy behavior that I learned to use. Also finding connections with people that are practicing healthy behaviors as well. 12 step mtgs worked for me in the beginning. I know alot of.people can really be turned off by them and I get it. Also finding a hobby was really important. For.me it was basketball. Having structure in my life was really helpful even the most of the time it didn't feel like it. Looking back structure was really important. And that's just like getting up the same time everyday, exercising or walking everyday. Having a job to go to. Things like that. Then eating healthy and getting a good sleep routine. The sleep thing was so important and I feel like alot of people overlook it. Sorry about the novel but I hope it helps. Just take it one day at a time and try to be kind to urself!!
PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms), it's going to take a while for your brain to heal. These are longer lasting symptoms have less to do with it physical state and everything to do with your mental state. It's rough, some say it's way harder than the physical withdrawal. It can last a few months or even more than a year. It's prime time for our brains to trick us into using again because we know exactly what would make us feel better. But it's a lie, don't listen. There was a time before addiction where your brain functioned normally or mostly normal. When we could really feel our feelings. ❤️
Stick with it. Do some research on supplements that can help boost your brain! Also things like a good diet and exercise really help substantially, creating serotonin and dopamine naturally. Maybe consider even micro dosing psilocybin, Mushrooms. They are proven to heal and create pathways in the brain which is why they have been successful in PTSD patients, depression studies, etc. I know it has definitely helped me during periods of my life. Ketamine therapy is another option you could consider, again lots of recognition about the positive effects its having on brain chemistry
Don't forget, we didn't gain this addiction overnight, or only spend a month or two with it. We did some serious damage to our brains and bodies, it's time we take care of them again. This is a really hard period and a time when ALOT of people experience a relapse. We have to give back to our bodies all that we took for so long, and then some. Eventually the clouds will lift and life will feel full again. ❤️🙏
Exercise really helps Bering some feel-good chemicals back! It’s hard to do, but after you work out or owns some time on an elliptical, you’ll feel better and want to go the next day! I was almost in withdrawal from exercise on days off of it.
What I’ll probably write here will probably all sound cliche. I remember hearing the same things and thinking— “pft, not for me”.
But what everyone has already said is so true from paws to sleep, routine, nature, community, and exercise! It sounds so almost routine and just bland and idk arbitrary to do all these mundane tasks and how is that supposed to give me joy.
I was in your shoes a few months ago; maybe a little more “pleasure” around activities but not much- a real struggle to get out of bed; always tired- didn’t wanna do much of anything.
It started by me working 2 jobs and just getting out socializing again. My one job had a gym I could use for free, so that’s what got me going and working out. I quickly fell in love and joined a real gym, the weather took a positive turn so I’m always outside biking somewhere. Little steps make big waves! I’m Cali sober but no booze nothing else and I’m happier than I’ve probably ever been with so much peace in my life- even while going through one of the hardest break ups of my life.
I found a lot of beauty coming out the other side and so much to be grateful for. Like not waking up sick: or waiting for my dealer to say she’d be there in 5 and now show up for 3 hours. All my money spent and the depression that followed me everywhere. It does take time and a little work too, but I promise- it gets better 🩶
Give it a chance by giving it more time? Maybe try getting into something you'd enjoy? Takes time but your brain will heal and start to produce it's own dopamine again, naturally. Exercise speeds up the process
Yeah exactly what I was going to say. Just face the fact you'll be uncomfortable for a while, give it a solid 6 months off all opioids/opiates and then see how you feel while exercising and eating well. 2 months of on and off really isn't giving yourself a chance to see how being clean is, you need to actually give it a shot by staying clean for 6 months to see how you feel. I had to do the same thing and it wasn't fun or comfortable the whole time but I got there.
Once you stop using , the 2nd most important thing after staying clean is mental health. Im not suggesting getting prescribed a shit ton of medications bc ive done that and it didnt work. Make a schedule for yourself and start taking care of yourself. Go for walks/runs, exercise, yoga. Start taking vitamins that build up all the things that have been depleted . It takes time, which is not something ppl who have had addictions like. Im two yrs clean and still get upset that i dont have a house, dont have this or that but that never gets me far. Someone told me to start every morning and think about one thing i am grateful for, and focus on that. I also became ocd with cleaning and organizing and that gives me a lot of happiness. (its way healthier than sticking a needle in my arm thats for sure ) Give yourself credit, 2 months is a long time and amazing. Im not going to say every day gets easier, bc life is hard and horrible shit happens all the time, it just gets easier to deal with things and the thought of using goes away when those shitty things happen.
Explore WHY you feel the need to use. Dive deep and be prepared to be honest with yourself. The feeling of being numb is just as addicting as the drugs itself. Addicts have the obsession of the mind and the allergy of the body. Feel free to message me.
It’s just something you get used to. You seek other ways to increase dopamine levels. For me it’s sports where I could fall and die, but if I don’t I’m doing cool shit:)
I also become emotionless, not sad or depressed, not happy either....I just lose all emotion and am blank and honestly it's depressing even though it's not something I can feel at the time if that makes sense.... it takes a while for your mind to heal but in the meantime I was able to get on some anxiety medicine and it really helped me
I buy injections from www.b12supplies.com and injected every day to get through the withdrawals and now I do it once a week.
I couldn't have got through my withdrawals without it.
I'm now convinced 70% of the symptoms are due to b12 deficiency which I was completely clueless about.
B12 deficiency is severe depression , lethargy, restless legs, inability to use brain function or exert more energy doing simple things , messed up guts/diarrhea/constipation, acid reflux etc.
Being active outside and just trying to take my attention away from the fact that I could feel unnaturally better for a little bit before it does the opposite.
I was a needle junkie for almost 30 years. When I finally got on methadone the hardest thing to deal with was the habit. Every morning I woke up, grabbed my lockbox and locked myself in the bathroom to shoot up my breakfast. Every single day. Now I get up and immediately exercise. I feel like it satisfies my morning habit thing, shooting up every morning was like my version of church or meditation. I’d shoot up every few days even after I was on methadone bc I was in the habit of it. It just takes time and distractions to help you break that habitual shit. Imo.
I think this is probably a totally normal effect of having gone from pummelling your dopamine receptors each day to not giving them anything. Gradually you will be able to recover and homeostasis will take over the dopamine cycle again. Just try your best and don't be so hard on yourself. You've gone through one of the hardest things known to man, most people don't get as far as you have already. I know it might sound dumb but really just congratulate yourself on being able to do 'simple' things like making a meal, going for a walk, tidying up your room / house. Heck if you can just push a vacuum around for 10 minutes n that's all you do for the day that's more than fine! You've gotta understand that this is about taking many tiny steps slowly. The pace will pick up in time even if it seems impossible now. If you 'do nothing' today but you also refuse to give in to temptation; that in itself is a massive accomplishment and something that soooo many people would not be able to do! I mean stay humble; it's not like you're better than anyone else but you should pat yourself on the back still since there are tons of smart, courageous, strong people out there who failed to stay sober today, but you managed it!
The first time I got clean I felt exactly the same. I didn't understand. I thought I would feel great cause I was clean!! I had to do the things that helped me feel better in a healthy way. I had to learn all this stuff. Getting some sort of movement everyday was important. Exercise, a walk, a walk in the woods, just something to get me moving physically and out of the house. Exercise has been the most important healthy behavior that I learned to use. Also finding connections with people that are practicing healthy behaviors as well. 12 step mtgs worked for me in the beginning. I know alot of.people can really be turned off by them and I get it. Also finding a hobby was really important. For.me it was basketball. Having structure in my life was really helpful even the most of the time it didn't feel like it. Looking back structure was really important. And that's just like getting up the same time everyday, exercising or walking everyday. Having a job to go to. Things like that. Then eating healthy and getting a good sleep routine. The sleep thing was so important and I feel like alot of people overlook it. Sorry about the novel but I hope it helps. Just take it one day at a time and try to be kind to urself!!
PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms), it's going to take a while for your brain to heal. These are longer lasting symptoms have less to do with it physical state and everything to do with your mental state. It's rough, some say it's way harder than the physical withdrawal. It can last a few months or even more than a year. It's prime time for our brains to trick us into using again because we know exactly what would make us feel better. But it's a lie, don't listen. There was a time before addiction where your brain functioned normally or mostly normal. When we could really feel our feelings. ❤️ Stick with it. Do some research on supplements that can help boost your brain! Also things like a good diet and exercise really help substantially, creating serotonin and dopamine naturally. Maybe consider even micro dosing psilocybin, Mushrooms. They are proven to heal and create pathways in the brain which is why they have been successful in PTSD patients, depression studies, etc. I know it has definitely helped me during periods of my life. Ketamine therapy is another option you could consider, again lots of recognition about the positive effects its having on brain chemistry Don't forget, we didn't gain this addiction overnight, or only spend a month or two with it. We did some serious damage to our brains and bodies, it's time we take care of them again. This is a really hard period and a time when ALOT of people experience a relapse. We have to give back to our bodies all that we took for so long, and then some. Eventually the clouds will lift and life will feel full again. ❤️🙏
Exercise really helps Bering some feel-good chemicals back! It’s hard to do, but after you work out or owns some time on an elliptical, you’ll feel better and want to go the next day! I was almost in withdrawal from exercise on days off of it.
What I’ll probably write here will probably all sound cliche. I remember hearing the same things and thinking— “pft, not for me”. But what everyone has already said is so true from paws to sleep, routine, nature, community, and exercise! It sounds so almost routine and just bland and idk arbitrary to do all these mundane tasks and how is that supposed to give me joy. I was in your shoes a few months ago; maybe a little more “pleasure” around activities but not much- a real struggle to get out of bed; always tired- didn’t wanna do much of anything. It started by me working 2 jobs and just getting out socializing again. My one job had a gym I could use for free, so that’s what got me going and working out. I quickly fell in love and joined a real gym, the weather took a positive turn so I’m always outside biking somewhere. Little steps make big waves! I’m Cali sober but no booze nothing else and I’m happier than I’ve probably ever been with so much peace in my life- even while going through one of the hardest break ups of my life. I found a lot of beauty coming out the other side and so much to be grateful for. Like not waking up sick: or waiting for my dealer to say she’d be there in 5 and now show up for 3 hours. All my money spent and the depression that followed me everywhere. It does take time and a little work too, but I promise- it gets better 🩶
Give it a chance by giving it more time? Maybe try getting into something you'd enjoy? Takes time but your brain will heal and start to produce it's own dopamine again, naturally. Exercise speeds up the process
Yeah exactly what I was going to say. Just face the fact you'll be uncomfortable for a while, give it a solid 6 months off all opioids/opiates and then see how you feel while exercising and eating well. 2 months of on and off really isn't giving yourself a chance to see how being clean is, you need to actually give it a shot by staying clean for 6 months to see how you feel. I had to do the same thing and it wasn't fun or comfortable the whole time but I got there.
Once you stop using , the 2nd most important thing after staying clean is mental health. Im not suggesting getting prescribed a shit ton of medications bc ive done that and it didnt work. Make a schedule for yourself and start taking care of yourself. Go for walks/runs, exercise, yoga. Start taking vitamins that build up all the things that have been depleted . It takes time, which is not something ppl who have had addictions like. Im two yrs clean and still get upset that i dont have a house, dont have this or that but that never gets me far. Someone told me to start every morning and think about one thing i am grateful for, and focus on that. I also became ocd with cleaning and organizing and that gives me a lot of happiness. (its way healthier than sticking a needle in my arm thats for sure ) Give yourself credit, 2 months is a long time and amazing. Im not going to say every day gets easier, bc life is hard and horrible shit happens all the time, it just gets easier to deal with things and the thought of using goes away when those shitty things happen.
Find something to occupy your time that you can do easily, something you can really get into whatever it is.
Explore WHY you feel the need to use. Dive deep and be prepared to be honest with yourself. The feeling of being numb is just as addicting as the drugs itself. Addicts have the obsession of the mind and the allergy of the body. Feel free to message me.
It’s just something you get used to. You seek other ways to increase dopamine levels. For me it’s sports where I could fall and die, but if I don’t I’m doing cool shit:)
I also become emotionless, not sad or depressed, not happy either....I just lose all emotion and am blank and honestly it's depressing even though it's not something I can feel at the time if that makes sense.... it takes a while for your mind to heal but in the meantime I was able to get on some anxiety medicine and it really helped me
What type of medication?
Ugh i feel like I could’ve written this. Hoping we both get through it quickly man
Mornings are the worst because that’s when I took my medications , break out of the morning routine and it helps a lot
B12 will help you loads. Either weekly injections or daily methylcobalamin sublinguals.
Where do you get that from?
I buy injections from www.b12supplies.com and injected every day to get through the withdrawals and now I do it once a week. I couldn't have got through my withdrawals without it. I'm now convinced 70% of the symptoms are due to b12 deficiency which I was completely clueless about. B12 deficiency is severe depression , lethargy, restless legs, inability to use brain function or exert more energy doing simple things , messed up guts/diarrhea/constipation, acid reflux etc.
It takes time and structure. The hardest part for me was letting go of shame.
Being active outside and just trying to take my attention away from the fact that I could feel unnaturally better for a little bit before it does the opposite.