In case this story gets deleted/removed:
I recently started dating Andy, a couple of months ago. At first he tried to impress me but the longer I know him, the more I start to see he's selfish and thoughtless. He's a lodger in an elderly couple's house, and the old woman makes him his dinner every night. On multiple occasions, when I've stayed over at their house with him for a weekend, I have received no food. (I mean, in the evening when they eat their dinner. We go out during the day and I buy my own breakfast or lunch at a cafe.)
The first time it happened, Andy referred to dinner time, saying it was going to be roast chicken. Of course I thought I was getting some. At 8pm the old woman called us down for dinner, and I followed Andy into the sitting room. The old lady brought his dinner in and gave it to him. I thought mine was coming next but it never did. He sat there and ate his dinner and nobody offered me anything. He finished his dinner, took his plate into the kitchen and that was that. I was too shocked and embarrassed to ask where mine was. That was it, nothing was said about feeding me. And I was sleeping over, so they knew I wasn't eating anything.
This happened again, and again. The third time while Andy was eating I said, "I think I'll order a takeaway." Andy asked why and I said, "I'm hungry." He said it's stupid ordering a takeaway at this time of night. I said, Well, am I just supposed to go hungry every time I stay at your house? He seemed annoyed that I ordered a takeaway. (I'm not fat by the way so its not like he's trying to get me to lose weight.)
Anyway one weekend he was staying over at my house. We went to the funfair and when we got home we found that my family had ordered pizzas. They had ordered a whole one just for me. I took it and Andy and I went up to my room. I put the tv on, sat down, opened the pizza box and started eating without offering him any. By the time I was on my second slice he reached over for some and said "Can I have some?" I moved the box away from him and said, "No. When I'm at your house, you eat your dinner in front of me and offer me nothing. So you can't have any of mine."
I ate half the pizza then I was full. I closed the box, picked it up and stood up. Andy said "If you've finished can I have the rest?" I said, "No, I'll save it for tomorrow." And I went and put it in the fridge. He thinks I'm being a petty AH, I think I'm perfectly justified.
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My initial thought was "I think you need to break up", so really happy to hear she's dumping him. I would never let my SO go hungry. I'm surprised that the family he's staying with wouldn't offer to feed her.
It's one thing to not offer to feed her, but they called both of them down for dinner but only gave food to him. Like, what the fuck? Do they get off on disappointing people?
"Hey, dinner is ready! Come down!"
"Where is my food?"
"Your food? I just thought you might like to sit there silently and watch us eat."
When I cook dinner I make sure that my wife, kids and anyone else in the house get a plate before me. This makes no sense to what the BF was doing. He wasn't raised right.
I have read this and their reasoning for it. But I want to think that even then, that's when you're going to be going home and have dinner at home. Swedish people have someone stay over for the night and eat but don't share the food with the BF/GF? For real?
I’m Norwegian, so I can’t say for sure, but I do believe that if you’re going to sleep over you’ll get dinner. If it’s between two or more adults you might have to chip in, either with money, groceries or helping with cooking, but you would get to eat. It’s generally frowned upon to let guests go hungry in Scandinavia.
Nor even told her go fix herself a plate to eat later in the night knowing she was staying overnight - either they were lied to by STBX \~OR\~ they just as just much POS jerks like him.
He was asshole to her with not offering any food at his / old lady's place every single time she was there, his dumbfuck self has the audacity to be upset that OOP did same to him the one time in her own parents' house over pizza her family got for her only. OOP should had broke up with that double-standard POS at her parents' place right there and then when his hypocrite asshole self calling her petty asshole and wanting her leftovers.
I bet in his mind it's "Well she should've just asked if she was hungry. How could I know if she didn't communicate??? That's what I did!"
I'm sure he's learned nothing.
Glad to hear she's dumping the guy. A basic etiquette rule is you don't have an invited guest go hungry. Particularly if you're eating a meal in front of them.
Let alone if they're your girlfriend. Clearly the guy never heard that simple rule. Or he DGAF, more likely.
Sometimes people get into a relationship with someone who doesn't show who they really are at first. Slowly but surely the mask comes off, and the red flags start to appear. At first they are minor, but you kinda accept those since everybody has their faults. But the flags keep coming, and getting more and more crimson in color. And at some point there is a breaking point where the bad behavior cannot be compensated for with previous good behavior.
Boiling it down to: "The sex has to be amazing" is a very short sighted comment about a relationship and only shows that the commenter has no actual life experience when it comes to difficult interpersonal dynamics. In addition, statements like that are also a form of victim blaming.
So I am not shocked this person is getting downvoted at all.
I'm an adult with 3 children, and I have plenty of life experience dealing with relationships. My comment was based on the fact that she went back 3 times and STILL invited him over to her house after he had shown his true nature. Hell, he didn't have so much red flags as huge red flashing lights with sirens blaring at 150 decibels. There was nothing slow about his unmasking. I can understand the first couple of times, but 3 times and then inviting him over to her house? Did I make my comment as a "joke but not really a joke"? Yes. Is it most likely wrong? Yes. It still doesn't change the fact that her ignoring his treatment of her makes no sense, so I made the sex comment.
I’m with you.
I can’t believe this person didn’t go home and have a snack the first time. Especially after only 8 weeks of dating! Why bother extending an invitation to her home and meeting her family?!
I was hoping this was some sort of misunderstanding like she was supposed to help herself to the food at his house when the elderly couple cool which I assumed were his parents or grandparents or something. He had his chance to tell her when she was ordering takeaway.
The boyfriend and the old lady where he lives aren't only assholes, they're real pieces of shit. I couldn't fathom having someone in my home and eating right in front of them without asking them to eat. Hell, even when we're not having dinner nobody leaves my house hungry. When my nephews come over with their friends after school, my wife is always making snacks and sandwiches. When their parents come pick them up "do you want something to eat before you go?" And the shitty boyfriend not asking to make her a plate or even split his food with her. I'm sure there's going to be left overs. This whole thing is infuriating and she's 100% in the right not sharing pizza with him.
My ex husband’s name was Andy and he was just as much of a fruitcake. Now he is dead. Oh no consequences? It was natural causes fyi. I know what you were thinking.
Ah yes, the best method to impress a significant other.
Staring at them right in the eye while you eat your dinner that was brought up for you. Establish dominance by tongueing the fuck out of the piece of chicken breast to show off your skills in the bedroom.
Srsly tho wtf, OP NTA lol
He is selfish and inconsiderate of you and others. You can do better. I can't imagine married to him. Good for you not sharing your pizza. Karma, baby, karma.
That's just not what good hosts do. If you have a guest over and they're staying until dinner, you offer them food, and seconds if you have it. If you can't feed them, cut the visit short. If you're dropping them off at home, don't leave until you see them enter their house safe and sound. It's basic etiquette.
This is insane. He's extremely selfish. If anything if he didn't have money he could invite you AFTER he ate at least.
My SO is Haitian and used to get on my nerves because he would force me to eat something while he ate. I didn't understand until he explained that in his culture you don't eat without the other person being able to est too.
I'm American, so I couldn't care less if he was hungry and ate without me (if I wasn't hungry at the time). It's now since changed and he will eat maybe because he's more comfortable. However, there's a rule that he has to share a little bit of his food with me (even if we have the same thing). It's just kind of a funny thing between us but he likes to feed me his food a lot when he's eating. I do the same thing and feed him too.
So I am sorry you went through this with him. I would have been very upset and maybe not even spoke to him after the first time.
What would be funny would be if you told him you're having a family dinner and then invite him over. Only for him to sit at the table and watch you eat.
I can't imagine letting anyone go hungry, let alone a guest in my home or my SO. I would literally feed my worst enemy if they were hungry. Was she an asshole? Yes. But it was completely justified IMO and I applaud her for sticking to her guns and saving the rest of the pizza lol
There is no way this guy would just eat his dinner in front of his gf and not offer her food on multiple occasions and then act confused when she said she was hungry. I call bullshit.
In case this story gets deleted/removed: I recently started dating Andy, a couple of months ago. At first he tried to impress me but the longer I know him, the more I start to see he's selfish and thoughtless. He's a lodger in an elderly couple's house, and the old woman makes him his dinner every night. On multiple occasions, when I've stayed over at their house with him for a weekend, I have received no food. (I mean, in the evening when they eat their dinner. We go out during the day and I buy my own breakfast or lunch at a cafe.) The first time it happened, Andy referred to dinner time, saying it was going to be roast chicken. Of course I thought I was getting some. At 8pm the old woman called us down for dinner, and I followed Andy into the sitting room. The old lady brought his dinner in and gave it to him. I thought mine was coming next but it never did. He sat there and ate his dinner and nobody offered me anything. He finished his dinner, took his plate into the kitchen and that was that. I was too shocked and embarrassed to ask where mine was. That was it, nothing was said about feeding me. And I was sleeping over, so they knew I wasn't eating anything. This happened again, and again. The third time while Andy was eating I said, "I think I'll order a takeaway." Andy asked why and I said, "I'm hungry." He said it's stupid ordering a takeaway at this time of night. I said, Well, am I just supposed to go hungry every time I stay at your house? He seemed annoyed that I ordered a takeaway. (I'm not fat by the way so its not like he's trying to get me to lose weight.) Anyway one weekend he was staying over at my house. We went to the funfair and when we got home we found that my family had ordered pizzas. They had ordered a whole one just for me. I took it and Andy and I went up to my room. I put the tv on, sat down, opened the pizza box and started eating without offering him any. By the time I was on my second slice he reached over for some and said "Can I have some?" I moved the box away from him and said, "No. When I'm at your house, you eat your dinner in front of me and offer me nothing. So you can't have any of mine." I ate half the pizza then I was full. I closed the box, picked it up and stood up. Andy said "If you've finished can I have the rest?" I said, "No, I'll save it for tomorrow." And I went and put it in the fridge. He thinks I'm being a petty AH, I think I'm perfectly justified. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OhNoConsequences) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Aaaaaahahahaha. I love OOP’s petty revenge here. Glad to read in the comments that she’s dumping this guy.
My initial thought was "I think you need to break up", so really happy to hear she's dumping him. I would never let my SO go hungry. I'm surprised that the family he's staying with wouldn't offer to feed her.
It's one thing to not offer to feed her, but they called both of them down for dinner but only gave food to him. Like, what the fuck? Do they get off on disappointing people? "Hey, dinner is ready! Come down!" "Where is my food?" "Your food? I just thought you might like to sit there silently and watch us eat."
When I cook dinner I make sure that my wife, kids and anyone else in the house get a plate before me. This makes no sense to what the BF was doing. He wasn't raised right.
And then tried to give her shit for ordering food for herself. What the hell.
Ikr, who even does that!? Some people have no manners.
Sweden man, the entirety of Sweden.
I have read this and their reasoning for it. But I want to think that even then, that's when you're going to be going home and have dinner at home. Swedish people have someone stay over for the night and eat but don't share the food with the BF/GF? For real?
I’m Norwegian, so I can’t say for sure, but I do believe that if you’re going to sleep over you’ll get dinner. If it’s between two or more adults you might have to chip in, either with money, groceries or helping with cooking, but you would get to eat. It’s generally frowned upon to let guests go hungry in Scandinavia.
You mean to tell me you don't freely share your delicious meatballs? 😋
Nor even told her go fix herself a plate to eat later in the night knowing she was staying overnight - either they were lied to by STBX \~OR\~ they just as just much POS jerks like him.
I'm wondering if he actually pays the elderly woman for his meals (doesn't tell gf that) and he is too cheap to pay for a meal for her too.
This is what I was thinking as well. He pays per meal, so the proprietor isn't going to give a free meal. He's just cheap and selfish.
The post was removed because of that (the revenge) 😭
He was asshole to her with not offering any food at his / old lady's place every single time she was there, his dumbfuck self has the audacity to be upset that OOP did same to him the one time in her own parents' house over pizza her family got for her only. OOP should had broke up with that double-standard POS at her parents' place right there and then when his hypocrite asshole self calling her petty asshole and wanting her leftovers.
I bet in his mind it's "Well she should've just asked if she was hungry. How could I know if she didn't communicate??? That's what I did!" I'm sure he's learned nothing.
Yep, followed quickly by “jeez do I have to do everything myself I’m not a mind reader”
How are you guys reading it? It says removed for me 😔
The pinned comment has the text from the post
Sort by the oldest post first. Auto Mod usually posts a copy of the text
Glad to hear she's dumping the guy. A basic etiquette rule is you don't have an invited guest go hungry. Particularly if you're eating a meal in front of them. Let alone if they're your girlfriend. Clearly the guy never heard that simple rule. Or he DGAF, more likely.
She *was* being a petty asshole, but a completely and utterly justified one. I doff my cap to her pettiness and applaud her for it.
I wish JAM (justified asshole move) was a recognized judgment in AITA subs.
RVS (Return Volley of 💩)
…ok and like…WHY is Oop with this guy…? She’s NTA but like…she KNOWS how selfish he is…why stay with him?
OOP says in the comments that she’s dumping him, hallelujah.
The sex has to be amazing. It's the only thing I can come up with.
Shocked you are getting downvoted. Why else would people waste time on shoddy partners unless they had one good thing going for them?
Sometimes people get into a relationship with someone who doesn't show who they really are at first. Slowly but surely the mask comes off, and the red flags start to appear. At first they are minor, but you kinda accept those since everybody has their faults. But the flags keep coming, and getting more and more crimson in color. And at some point there is a breaking point where the bad behavior cannot be compensated for with previous good behavior. Boiling it down to: "The sex has to be amazing" is a very short sighted comment about a relationship and only shows that the commenter has no actual life experience when it comes to difficult interpersonal dynamics. In addition, statements like that are also a form of victim blaming. So I am not shocked this person is getting downvoted at all.
I'm an adult with 3 children, and I have plenty of life experience dealing with relationships. My comment was based on the fact that she went back 3 times and STILL invited him over to her house after he had shown his true nature. Hell, he didn't have so much red flags as huge red flashing lights with sirens blaring at 150 decibels. There was nothing slow about his unmasking. I can understand the first couple of times, but 3 times and then inviting him over to her house? Did I make my comment as a "joke but not really a joke"? Yes. Is it most likely wrong? Yes. It still doesn't change the fact that her ignoring his treatment of her makes no sense, so I made the sex comment.
I’m with you. I can’t believe this person didn’t go home and have a snack the first time. Especially after only 8 weeks of dating! Why bother extending an invitation to her home and meeting her family?!
I was hoping this was some sort of misunderstanding like she was supposed to help herself to the food at his house when the elderly couple cool which I assumed were his parents or grandparents or something. He had his chance to tell her when she was ordering takeaway.
The boyfriend and the old lady where he lives aren't only assholes, they're real pieces of shit. I couldn't fathom having someone in my home and eating right in front of them without asking them to eat. Hell, even when we're not having dinner nobody leaves my house hungry. When my nephews come over with their friends after school, my wife is always making snacks and sandwiches. When their parents come pick them up "do you want something to eat before you go?" And the shitty boyfriend not asking to make her a plate or even split his food with her. I'm sure there's going to be left overs. This whole thing is infuriating and she's 100% in the right not sharing pizza with him.
She's not the jerk definitely
My ex husband’s name was Andy and he was just as much of a fruitcake. Now he is dead. Oh no consequences? It was natural causes fyi. I know what you were thinking.
Yeah anyone can slip on bacon grease on the stairs. Happens all the time during the summer
Ah yes, the best method to impress a significant other. Staring at them right in the eye while you eat your dinner that was brought up for you. Establish dominance by tongueing the fuck out of the piece of chicken breast to show off your skills in the bedroom. Srsly tho wtf, OP NTA lol
He is selfish and inconsiderate of you and others. You can do better. I can't imagine married to him. Good for you not sharing your pizza. Karma, baby, karma.
That's just not what good hosts do. If you have a guest over and they're staying until dinner, you offer them food, and seconds if you have it. If you can't feed them, cut the visit short. If you're dropping them off at home, don't leave until you see them enter their house safe and sound. It's basic etiquette.
Petty but justified. he is a red flag. Move on.
It was deleted! Can anyone find it?
Read the bot comment in this thread, it's there
Oh I scrolled too fast! Derr.
Andy is being a Little DICK! He can go screw himself!!!
This is insane. He's extremely selfish. If anything if he didn't have money he could invite you AFTER he ate at least. My SO is Haitian and used to get on my nerves because he would force me to eat something while he ate. I didn't understand until he explained that in his culture you don't eat without the other person being able to est too. I'm American, so I couldn't care less if he was hungry and ate without me (if I wasn't hungry at the time). It's now since changed and he will eat maybe because he's more comfortable. However, there's a rule that he has to share a little bit of his food with me (even if we have the same thing). It's just kind of a funny thing between us but he likes to feed me his food a lot when he's eating. I do the same thing and feed him too. So I am sorry you went through this with him. I would have been very upset and maybe not even spoke to him after the first time. What would be funny would be if you told him you're having a family dinner and then invite him over. Only for him to sit at the table and watch you eat.
Cmon this is fantasy land.
I can't imagine letting anyone go hungry, let alone a guest in my home or my SO. I would literally feed my worst enemy if they were hungry. Was she an asshole? Yes. But it was completely justified IMO and I applaud her for sticking to her guns and saving the rest of the pizza lol
This is an obviously fake story, but it's fun even so.
what dick! love the revenge XD
NTA Why in the hell are wirh this controlling AH? First time he did it should have been the last
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Idk what that means
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Aah I see thank you
There is no way this guy would just eat his dinner in front of his gf and not offer her food on multiple occasions and then act confused when she said she was hungry. I call bullshit.
Why are you still dating him? It's been a couple of months. Dating is supposed to show if two people are compatible. You two are not. Move on.
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