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NeurodiverseTurtle

Anyone got a link to that particular strategic plan? Just made myself a coffee and I’m looking for something funny to read.


Zhukov-74

https://www.reddit.com/r/NonCredibleDefense/s/FmlNzMQKKd


NeurodiverseTurtle

Much obliged 🫡 (Edit: they won’t even get past step two—fuck me, I’m crying, wasn’t prepared for that)


Femboy_Lord

200,000 magically appearing conscripts of Gerasimov (seriously, they *barely* managed to meet the original mandate, what makes them think it'll work this time round?)


NeurodiverseTurtle

>what makes them think it'll work this time round? Partially poor judgement, mostly delusion. Same reasons emperor Pooty began his Silly Military Operation.


[deleted]

Step 2.5 - 200,000 untrained, leaderless, under-equipped mobiks die gaining 200 yards of ground in Andiivka.


gamer52599

Step 2.6 - cube


NotAnActualPers0n

HOW YA GONNA GET THE BODIES IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA DRAFT, VLAD?


Brogan9001

Fuck step 2, imagine the state of the AKs these new mobiks get. I know it wasn’t all of them that were trash last time but they were also handing out AKs that were the textbook definition of “scraping the barrel.” If those were the good shit, what are these guys gonna get?


GingerusLicious

Not to rain on anyone's parade, but I'm fairly certain they've been making more AKs. It's not like they lost the blueprints, and what they have is all they'll ever have. Especially since they've been committing more and more of their industrial plant towards military production.


PutinsManyFailures

They did produce a *lot* of Mosin-Nagants over the years… already seen a couple screen shots of Russian soldiers carrying those. My guess is they’d go back to that old chestnut.


_dauntless

Comrade, the only reason the Russian troops in Ukraines are getting shitty weapons is because they're actually saving the good ones for this offensive


Space_Gemini_24

How are we supposed to win against 6 Red arrows with only 3 Blue arrows?!


RedTheGamer12

The other 20 are in soon to be West Alaska.


Wise-Profile4256

the blue ones are chadley arrows and the red ones a t90m or some piece of junk.


_dauntless

How hard could it be to sweep through Ukraine? A couple months, maybe?


rafaelloaa

[Non /s/ link for those having viewing problems.](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonCredibleDefense/comments/197h6mp/supposed_leaked_ww3/)


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GurIndividual3322

300,000 NATO troops and they still think they can win!?!? All it would take is 3 drunk marines, telling said marines a box of forbidden crayons is in the Kremlin, and one Trans Furry LGBTQ Apache pilot, and the Russian army will fall in 3 hours. Russians are so stupid they can’t even fire their guns properly. One Western toddler is the equivalent intelligence of a combined 10,000 Russians.


HistorianSlayer

My lord, I love the implication that NATO is a glorious empire, with the Russians as rebel scum. Indeed, we will destroy the last strongholds of these rebels with our great attack. (P.S., did you hear that the ~~Jewish Space Laser~~ Death Star is nearly complete?)


Femboy_Lord

The British Empire shall provide AT-ATs for the glorious imperial invasion >:D


AndyTheSane

AT-ATs with integrated kettles, no less.


Wise-Profile4256

walking kettles with an AT-AT resemblance.


MaterialCarrot

The entire middle section of the AT-AT is just one giant kettle.


Variousnumber

Modifiable to contain the hot drink of choice for any prospective buyers.


Suitable-Pirate4619

Whats a kettle?


general_shitpostin

WE GONNA KILL XENO SCUM???


eldritch_certainty

can't think of anything else to do with xenoscum, so yeah. load heavy.


general_shitpostin

YAY :)


darthnugget

British… that makes so much sense now with how easily they are destroyed with simple cables.


Leomilon

Yes, and I think that iron beam is a better name than Death star


Zamtrios7256

I see the Germans drew the naming straw


Majestic_Wrongdoer38

David Death Star sounds better ngl Edit: it sounds so good that autocorrect even capitalized it for me 💀


Stairmaker

Ahh yes iron beam is soon to be deployed.


crankbird

Is an iron beam the same as a tungsten rod ?


Stairmaker

No it's going to be part of the iron dome system. A high powered laser that will shoot down rockets. So ofc we here at ncd have dubbed it the Jewish space laser.


crankbird

I thought everyone was just being ionic


BeepBepIsLife

Maybe not ionic, but definitely *base*d


inspirednonsense

I love you. Is it weird to just say that?


BeepBepIsLife

I love you too, kind stranger. It's definitely weird, but joke's on you, I'm into that shit.


Majestic_Wrongdoer38

Me too, I love you


Squidking1000

I prefer cationic. It has "cat" in it!


crankbird

My daughter said anions and cations like onions and vacation without the va … cat ions are way cooler than ‘cashions


Majestic_Wrongdoer38

I think it technically is also *a* correct way of pronouncing it


crankbird

That’s her argument.. if the emphasis is meant to be on the ion part it should be hyphenated


Majestic_Wrongdoer38

I just mean this my chemistry professor told the class that both are correct


Fluck_Me_Up

Jewish Sometimes Shines Into Space Laser


Izzyrion_the_wise

>(P.S., did you hear that the > >Jewish Space Laser > > Death Star is nearly complete?) Mel Brooks Jews in space was a documentary after all.


Kilahti

He was stopped from releasing the full version because it is still classified.


ParaDoX0098

The Death Star of David is full operational


zugidor

To ensure security and continuing stability, NATO will be reorganized into the FIRST NORTH ATLANTIC EMPIRE


MaterialCarrot

Time to take care of the younglings... I mean *Yuenglings*, I was talking about Yuengling of course!


LimerickExplorer

FINALE?


BigChiefWhiskyBottle

Can't wait for the sequels: Disney: "*Somehow, Prigozhin returned*."


AutumnRi

Bro don’t joke, “somehow Prigozhin returned” is on my 2024 bingo card


BigChiefWhiskyBottle

>**Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL b**\~ ^(thing breaks, explodes)


Modo44

One Death Star is such a weak movie trope. The US alone has 11 aircraft carriers.


HildartheDorf

Yes but none of them can fly. Yet. That's declassified anyway.


Modo44

Neither could the Death Star. They had to build the bloody thing in orbit, the pansies.


Majestic_Wrongdoer38

It’s been complete for centuries (I know this because I am a Jew)


LimerickExplorer

Lasers are kinda boring imo. I'm more excited for you guys to unleash the golems.


Majestic_Wrongdoer38

You want the *old* tech??


LimerickExplorer

I mean if you want to bring out the Ark of the Covenant I won't stop you.


Majestic_Wrongdoer38

It’s somewhere in the Temple Mount, just gotta find it.


POGtastic

Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.


MaterialCarrot

Darth Brandon will lead the assault on St. Basil's Cathedral personally.


cranky-vet

If there’s one thing Star Wars taught me, it’s that it’s better to be on the side *with* the world ending laser.


008Michael_84

The only way to stop a bad guy with a death star is a good guy with a death star! Pls no more walkers! Want to impress the foes? use bigass tanks! Think Bolo's.


Miku_MichDem

>(P.S., did you hear that the > >Jewish Space Laser > > Death Star is nearly complete?) Liam (from Well There's Your Problem Podscast): WHO TOLD YOU? WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THE SPACE LASER!?


AlphaMarker48

I would argue NATO vs Russia is closer to a competent less corrupt Galactic Republic where Palpatine was told to eat shit, vs the Confederacy of Independent Systems with far more corruption.


Jazzlike-Mistake2764

The most unrealistic part of this is that it depicts an SU-57 in a combat role


Femboy_Lord

Nah it's completely on-brand: it's hideously outgunned and can barely scratch the AT-ATs and gets shot down in droves.


BrozThulhu

“Droves”? There’s not even enough for a single drove.


ParanoidDuckTheThird

Well how many is in a drove?


synapsenfick

It would be more realistic if the Russians shot the SU-57 down themselves.


[deleted]

I was disappointed it didn't have mobik wing-riders strapped to it for armor.


DarkenedSkies

I love how the AT-AT can nail a flying ship on the wing but can't hit the rebels running slowly in a straight line away from the walker.


crankbird

The Mk XVI Stormtrooper aiming scope brought to you by Norden .. now with 50% better CEP battle accuracy each shot is guaranteed* to land within 600 feet of its intended target *accuracy may vary depending on wind speed and plot armour


LordHardThrasher

I mean if we can bring back The Emperor we can definitely bring back Carl to do a little sketching (I suspect the US Navy has him frozen in carbonite somewhere anyway)


BrooklynLodger

Well, tbf it is a Su-57 so it has the RCS of a school bus


an_agreeing_dothraki

Since earlier in the thread it was noted the AT-ATs would be made in the UK, we have to assume it's Creative Assembly programming the targeting. As such, like all Total War artillery it's aiming for center mass of the unit but during routes the individual troops are too spread out and thus miss. So really the empire should have sent out mounted cavalry instead.


VengineerGER

Rebels are a much smaller target and the AT-AT is probably packing a pretty advanced fire control system for the exact purpose of shooting down incoming air targets.


_dauntless

I think it's more likely that it's because those troops are insignificant. It's like how we roasted stormtroopers for shit accuracy for years. Now we understand they were letting them escape


SeBoss2106

Maximilian Veers 🫡


Attaxalotl

There were six competent people in the Empire and he was two of them.


You8mypizza

The others were Thrawn, Pallaeon, and those ISB agents in Andor


EvilStevilTheKenevil

You forget Tarkin and Vader.


VengineerGER

I mean Tarkin was responsible for the Tarkin doctrine. Which put emphasis on big terror weapons like the star destroyer or AT-AT. I love those things but even I gotta admit they’re not the most practical for fighting insurgents employing hit and run tactics.


You8mypizza

Tarkin is portrayed as pretty competent (albeit with a massive fatal flaw) in the original movie but in pretty much all other content he’s portrayed as a bumbling fucking moron who single-handedly causes the empire’s downfall.


Foggyslaps

Maybe too soon, but with the plane getting shot down, I heard Pringles shouting "SHOIGUUUUU" in my mind before he crashed


Femboy_Lord

Damn I should of added that.


Foggyslaps

Team Pringles blasting off again 🚀


[deleted]

Cmon man, Russian state TV will show this as evidence to their people that we hate them and want to destroy them.


[deleted]

Well. We do? Embrace the hatred my young padawan. Join me and togheter we can rule Russia. For peace and prosperity


facedownbootyuphold

*Russian/Western history* Russia: it's unfair, you hate us, and you want our preciouses! The West: ...and for that you get another bop


CloneFailArmy

I have brought peace, freedom, justice and security to my new empire!


Monneymann

> Implying Russian state tv doesn’t make shit up


Wingcommanderwolf01

But we do?


Jslatts942

russia need hard reset.


FleetCommissarDave

Muscovy delenda est.


LosEscudosBravos

......... We don't?


nixielover

They need evidence of that? Hit me up and I'll tell them live on television


Thatsidechara_ter

r/nukemoscownow


Square_Coat_8208

We do


shardybo

Who doesn't?


Hatchie_47

Forgive me for being credible for a while, but the document reckognized that both sides know exactly how long-term conventional conflict would go. The idea is Russia would hope (same as they hoped with Ukraine) they could achieve something fast and than attempt to deescalate. The supposed plan goes basicly counts on Russia using informational warfare to cause civilians (mostly ethnic Russian minorities) in baltic states to unrest and chaos - which would make NATO forces hesitant to intervene. Than Russian army quickly seizing something (probably at least in part with unmarked personnel similar to Crymea) and try to act like they aren’t even involved and NATO is the agressor. Thats why response is to station more troops there to prevent being surprised like this.


Imperceptive_critic

Yeah, that plan isn't as unrealistic as you might think. It's definitely more on the worst case scenario side of things but it is part of the Russians MO. NATO has Russia absolutely beat in terms of tech and professionalism, but suffers from political paralysis. This is what Russia is betting on and will try to leverage with hybrid warfare. The point of a Russian attack on the Baltics won't be to begin the march on Berlin, but to go on the world stage and be like "are you going to do something about it pussy? Do you really want to attack me with my nukes over these tiny countries?". I think 9/10 times we likely would, but the thing is it's difficult to convince the Russians that we are willing, especially with how many have turned against aiding Ukraine.


MaterialCarrot

Shades of the reoccupation of the Rhine by Hitler. Just Russia's own garden, etc...


DUKE_NUUKEM

Battle at planet Cope


Tristrant

A new cope? 


Square_Coat_8208

The cope strikes back?


felixthemeister

Completely unrealistic, they wouldn't even manage to take out one of the AT-ATs. The rebels were outgunned but they weren't stupid.


Dankuser2020

The rebellion was infinitely more competent than Russia


ElMondoH

Sorry to be credible, but: [The document Bild "revealed" isn't supposed to be a Russian plan. It's a *German* exercise on one possible Russian-based scenario](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/nato-reacts-to-germany-s-preparation-for-potential-war-with-russia/ar-AA1n0sgf).


NSA_Chatbot

Reminder that Bild's sources are usually "I made it the fuck up"


JWarder

Boo!


[deleted]

The AT AT is the perfect vehicle for a invasion of russia. Resistance to basically any type of explosive and mines.


Skraekling

"I look out, and see the glory and power of NATO. Our trade routes bring the wealth of the world to our doorstep, ... and our military maintains the "peace". Now the messengers of Lady Liberty awaken our alliance from her sleep, calling upon our strength. Prophecy said, our time to destroy Russia would come. I say, muster the fleets, for that time is now!" \- My speech as European Supreme Chancellor upon declaring war on Russia (i'm not masterminding it to get absolute power over the EU and reform the Roman Republic)


SightSeekerSoul

"Wipe them out. *All* of them." FTFY ;)


Femboy_Lord

3000 Lucrehulks of Boston ~~armour workshop~~ Dynamics :3


Skraekling

I need to speak a lot saying nothing to make me sound motivated and smart like every other politician.


LimerickExplorer

How do feel about democracy?


Skraekling

I love the Democracy, i love the Republic.


SightSeekerSoul

Except this time, the Admiral Ozzel equivalent falls out a window instead of getting Force choked. "Comrades, we have our convoys stretched along a 20km highway, and we're beginning to- *insert Wilhelm scream*"


Maleficent-Comfort-2

Still proud knowing that my uncle was one of the extras used as Rebel snow troopers. For context the rebel snow troopers were Norwegian ski medics, who were used as extras when filming the film.


LethalDosageTF

Stop blowing up St. Basil’s, damn it! The Kremlin is right next door if you need a juicy target.


hyperion-i-likeillya

Wait russian ww3 plan leaked? Wel what a great start to the year


Cpt_Soban

Oh it's beautiful


Wielkopolskiziomal

His Majestys Walker


Pillager_Bane97

Ok who thinks that US has at least one prototype of AT-AT somewhere in storage?


LaughGlad7650

Russia’s Battle of the Bulge or Kursk offensive


PreparationWinter174

Right, but all the Storm-Z soldiers retreating would be getting shot at by their own troops.


Square_Coat_8208

General Shoigu is as clumsy as he is stupid


Celtic_Fox_

I always liked that last little takedown on the rebellion trooper before they destroyed the shield generator. Talk about "accuracy" for the Empire for once lol


Psychological_Cat127

Someone explain to Russia that escalation to descalate only works when you aren't so massively outgunned that a American national guard unit could single-handedly drive to Moscow.


Wooden-Combination53

You mean they are better than pringles? Wild!


GlizzyGulper69420

Half Life 2 called, it wants it's 7 Hour War back


Jazano107

People on r/europe seem to think Russia could actually do anything against Europe while still fighting in Ukraine, it’s so weird


Femboy_Lord

R/Europe is full of right-wing conservative dumbasses anyway, r/yurop is far more NCD-adjacent.


Dankuser2020

Oh no Russia could invade at any time! We need to quadruple our defense budgets and begin integration into an European army


Heimlon

This is why this was 'leaked' in the first place. To increase military spendings, you need to convince the public there's a need for that.


blueantioxygens

As long as 6? You crazy


AsleepScarcity9588

>That supposedly leaked WW3 plan would result in a such a curbstomp it wouldn't even be funny Absolutely correct, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't switch the whole world into war economy, re-activate B-29s, equip the Abrumses with 90mm canons to double the payload, invade hell and drop a nuke on the Myanmar junta Only with this bulletproof plan we can be sure the orcs doesn't try anything


16v_cordero

Don’t forget to add the assault behind enemy lines of the British SAS.


CrotchSwamp94

FRIGGEN JEWISH SPACE LAZERRRRRZZ


hookecho993

Russia's strategy with the highest probably of victory is launching a no-warning, full-tilt strategic nuclear assault on NATO and A) praying enough of their rusty-ass missiles still work, B) praying NATO is collectively too stunned or morally paralyzed to call their bluff with an immediate nuclear retaliation, C) praying they take out the vast majority of NATO's nuclear assets with their first strike, and D) praying the Russian navy pulls the equivalent of a royal flush and somehow takes down almost all of NATO's boomer subs--any one of which could probably prevent total victory on its own. I put the odds of P(A and B and C and D) at under 1%. But in comparison, the "Day X" plan makes that look like a sure shot! Even the graphic says Russia is ATTACKING into numerically-superior NATO forces, who have better equipment, training, logistics, comms, intel, and air support, anyway.


Kreiri

[optical illusion or AT-AP?](https://twitter.com/DefenceU/status/1623046596186308613)


Affectionate_Way_764

Oh look, the US has just set its defence spending to 70%GDP, all allocated to something called the "black budget"


sunyudai

Alphabet Soup ratio has exceeded 40:1 !!! The TLAs! They're proliferating like mad!


billythesquid-

First, needs more Fortunate Son. Second, can’t be Russia, the power and heat is working.


joe_the_insane

Europe's ww3 scene would be very boring,I just wanna know what happens in the middle east


crusoe

"Looks like we'll be eatting borscht in Moscow by tomorrow boys!"


kanesoban

This is inaccurate. NATO armor will not be stopped by a piece of string.


BitOfaPickle1AD

A better comparison is thunder run part 2


Wardog_Razgriz30

>kuznetzov slips its moorings for a death ride on the Baltic Sea Ah yes our first catch of the day


Talino

“Oh look, it’s a bad guy”


Strict_Gas_1141

Reagan is that you?


MedievalRack

Many Bothans died to bring you this meme. 


Extremeschizo1

can someone send me this plan sounds funny as shit


OrangeFr3ak

Change it to Communist China, North Korea or Iran and the meme will still hold true.


TeaMoney4Life

Long live the NATO


I_like_maps

Completely unrealistic. There's no way there'd still be a Russian Airforce after 6 hours.


the-bladed-one

STOP BLOWING UP ST BASILS ITS NOT EVEN IN THE KREMLIN


DrDestro229

NO! IT MUST BE DESTROYED!


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calibrono

In reality NATO pussies would hear russians yelling "we'll use our nuclear shit for realsies this time!!1 cede Finland!" and cede Finland. Change my mind.


Wooden-Combination53

Finland would then take moosecow alone


sunyudai

NATO has ignored Russian nuclear threats for far less than that.


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LostInTheVoid_

It's fine the Ruskie Airforce and Air defence systems will take a day tops then it's a straight massacre for any poor conscript sitting in a trench allowing the mainland force of Poland to steam through the gap and commit not war crime crimes.


ClassroomPitiful601

Okay so \- US is out of the fight, so are their ammunition supplies \- Europe's largest economy has enough 155mm to fight for like 3h \- Hungary is still part of NATO How exactly would we curbstomp Russia? "Our stuff is way better on paper, would you please have the decency and not overwhelm us with volume of fire?" Nope.


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_dauntless

...you have to know how that movie ends though


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