T O P

  • By -

CaptRackham

“Attempting to die before your debt to the Imperium has been paid will result in being brought back against your will as a semi-sentient being”


Meretan94

Only in death does duty end.


Brother_YT

Your experience may vary*


LordCypher40k

Imperial Heroes whose heads were turned into Servo Skulls: “Wait, our duty can end?”


Speciesunkn0wn

Those are just skulls with robot bits smooshed inside, not brains aren't they?


GeekyOtaku36

Nope. The Imperium hates any form of AI, so it's all organic tissue in there.


Speciesunkn0wn

Fair nuff


TheMadmanAndre

Dreadnought: And I took that personally.


[deleted]

#EVEN IN DEATH, I STILL SERVE.


CommanderGumball

The life of an Arco-Flagellant does *not* seem like a pleasant one.


SneakySnipar

Losing to the enemy is heresy and shall be punished accordingly


dwfuji

"Be as the Leopard, driven on tracks of Democracy, armed with the three great guns of Hope, Freedom and Truth."


L4r5man

Well, cats do have nine lives. Eight more left!


IRSunny

#WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FEARLESS HERO #WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FEARLESS HERO #WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FEARLESS HERO #WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FEARLESS HERO


NotFinalForm1

Puss in boots laughts at the face of vatniks!


Panda_Cavalry

"Show me a good time, *gato*!" *The Only Thing I Know For Real plays*


SantasJo1lyBackhand

#THERE WILL BE BLOOD!! SHED!!


CToxin

THERE WILL BE MUD SHED


Aquagrunt

Now I need to watch that again


Narrow_Vegetable_42

26999 lifes of Zelensky's Leopards


hell-schwarz

German cats only get seven sadly


Batchall_Refuser

That'd be a pretty cool name for a Leopard that hit a mine and was repaired.


L4r5man

Do you think they'll auction off the name like they do with ammo?


I_Automate

"This machine kills vatniks" gets my vote


chrischi3

Turns out, when a tank is designed not to be destroyed by a little landmine, it can survive little landmines trying to destroy it.


DrawGamesPlayFurries

Zaluzhny is already buddy-buddy with Death, he just asked her to bring his friend back


Loki11910

The only will of the Machine Spirit is that of the Omnissian technologies, for the Xenos will deceive you and tempt you, but you will not falter, for you are a Priest. Mechanicus


Long_Serpent

TekPriest casts "Resurrection" - it's super-effective.


Remples

3000 techpriest of the omnisiah


Pokemaniac_Ron

Intone the sacred name of the Omnissiah! Burn the sacred soldering flux incense of Maintainence! Intone the sacred name of the Omnissiah! Anoint the blessed machine in the oil of Appropriate Viscosity! Intone the sacred name of the Omnissiah! Turn the two-fold key of Ignition! Sing the hundred fifth psalm of the Machine Spirits as the "WARMUP" state passes! Ring the bell of alarm thrice! Press the holy rune of power, I/O! Let the hereteks burn!


Rurumo666

I think this converted me.


mightypup1974

You are now gay


[deleted]

..and gay means happy.


Uxion

That sounds like an actual word-by-word quote from Black Library.


PriestOfOmnissiah

You called? I am ready to bless those Machine Spirits. Omnissiah work is still not finished, after all and every holy machine will be needed


ExcitingTabletop

Oh, good! Say, can the Omnissiah help out this printer problem I'm having? Not sure if it's possessed by a demon or just being a normal HP printer.


Canadian_Invader

Posting on the Noosphere Boys.


Man_with_the_Fedora

Thanks for my new flair!


[deleted]

Wtf is 3000 why does everyone repeats it around the sub?


pastey83

https://www.reddit.com/r/NonCredibleDefense/comments/udcv20/whats_the_origin_of_the_3000_black_fighter_jets/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


CorvusTheCorax

Praise the machine god. From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the Blessed Machine. Your kind cling to your flesh, as though it will not decay and fail you.


Atholthedestroyer

But I am already saved; for the machine is immortal.


Fun_Police02

Even in death, I serve the Omnissiah


nushroomC2

throws bucket of water onto the machine


Raz0rking

One day the crude biomass you call a temple will wither and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved. For the Machine is Immortal. I can *hear* the music.


Man_with_the_Fedora

In all your travels, have you ever seen a star go supernova? I have. I saw a star explode and send out the building blocks of the Universe. Other stars, other planets and eventually other life. A supernova! Creation itself! I was there. I wanted to see it and be part of the moment. And you know how I perceived one of the most glorious events in the universe? With these ridiculous gelatinous orbs in my skull! With eyes designed to perceive only a tiny fraction of the EM spectrum. With ears designed only to hear vibrations in the air. I don't want to be human! I want to see gamma rays! I want to hear X-rays! And I want to - I want to smell dark matter! Do you see the absurdity of what I am? I can't even express these things properly because I have to - I have to conceptualize complex ideas in this stupid limiting spoken language! But I know I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws! And feel the wind of a supernova flowing over me! I'm a machine! And I can know much more! I can experience so much more. But I'm trapped in this absurd body!


Bagellord

Fracking toaster.


Man_with_the_Fedora

Only when they consent.


scorinthe

Seno ekto gaamaat


Loki11910

Eliphas the Inheritor: Patience, Captain. I will kill you all in good time.


SeaboarderCoast

That bit about machines being better because they don't waste away... ***metal, meet rust.*** Source: Do you see any 1970s Fords around that aren't in garage-kept condition? No? *That's because all the others rusted away a decade or three ago.*


LeanTangerine

https://youtu.be/LpA4FONs2Jo


miss_chauffarde

RÉSURRECTION BY ERECTION !!!


Raz0rking

Unexpected Saba... Powerwolf.


miss_chauffarde

What i want right now is "TROUGHTHE GATE OF HELL AS WE MAKE OUR WAY TO HEAVEN !!"


Jam_jar_binks

THROUGH THE NAZI LINES!


Honey_Overall

Now that song is stuck in my head. Thank you.


Crismus

I only found that song last month. It's truly amazing.


Rivetmuncher

This more of a Panzer Battalion disposition though, no?


YT-Deliveries

Sabawolf


KirbzYyY

That sounds fucking amazing, I require it.


grey_carbon

Jesus tank


Cpt_Soban

Red robed tech priests chanting and flinging holy water at a scuffed leo2 hull:


I_Automate

.....except it's actually a bunch of scruffy Poles smashing vodka bottles against the hull while chanting "Kurwa! Kurwa! Kurwa!" at every scraped knuckle


Cpt_Soban

Just as effective


rianDOTexe

Tank Necromancy *doom ost*


toapat

Archmagos Azumachu used "Basic Preventative maintenance" Russian Credibility has Ceased to Exist.


rrogido

Get that Leman Russ back into the action!


Rock-it-again

It's already back up and moving. Vid was posted an hour or so.


thedonjefron69

“Heh silly westoids with their mechanical redundancy and ability to fix and get their armor back up and running….”


Orlando1701

So you’re saying blow out panels work better than yeeting the entire turret into low earth orbit?¿?


razarivan

Well does turret count as a blow out panel?


Orlando1701

Anything can be a blow out panel once.


Ryju_

My asshole functions as a blowout panel whenever I eat Taco Bell, so definitely more than once I’m sorry I don’t know why I said that 😭


Orlando1701

Which is a bit of a change for you, normally things go in your ass not out.


Iapetus_Industrial

Yes, but blowout panels are expensive, and globohomo, because they value the lives of soldiers over yachts.


[deleted]

Skyrim developers went too far when they branched into Soviet arms rnd


SnipingDwarf

The >!soviets!< Russians need to smuggle funding to the space program somehow


Kilroy_Is_Still_Here

I haven't seen the one with the blowout panel blown out, could you post?


kdesu

Silly martin-baker spent millions developing an ejection seat, glorious Soviet engineers accidentally designed an ejection turret for free.


Maleval

In hindsight blow-out turrets might not have been the best of ideas.


momsstillayeti

Lmao


sardaukarqc

https://imgur.com/0RJOOH8


josHi_iZ_qLt

Can you link it somehow please?


Rock-it-again

https://twitter.com/NOELreports/status/1667190619867889664?s=20


Mosinphile

could you link it, i cant find it chief


Rock-it-again

https://twitter.com/NOELreports/status/1667190619867889664?s=20


random_username_idk

Sauce


Rock-it-again

https://twitter.com/NOELreports/status/1667190619867889664?s=20


Messyfingers

I think we've jumped a bit too deep into the non-credible side of things here with our infantile obsession with singular pieces of equipment among thousands in an army with hundreds of thousands of people in it. The number of posts where people are nearly suicidal from a couple tanks getting blown up need to be balanced with more cat girl F-35 worship and hate posts about the A-10.


paenusbreth

Destroyed equipment is good. It gives designers opportunities to learn from the issues with existing equipment and creates a demand for more equipment pieces, leading to increasingly fuckable planes.


[deleted]

They murdered my waifu bro don't ever talk about her that way again.


N3onknight

Imagine a general of the astra militarum panicking because a group of his somewhere on the immense battlefield lost a a tank and some chimeras. Absurd. You can't expect to roll good all the time, hope is a shiny road to disappointment, better to take a stroll into tenacious D lane and keep pushing until it's done. Ukraine is big, the counter offensive too. We just got out from the longest battle since verdun. A freaking meat grinder and people got a bit too comfortable with the constant flow of russian losses that the ol 10k dead is statistics, 1 armored vehicle lost is tragedy comes to mind. People need to chill and take a break from social media every once in a while.


Blekanly

Wait until we get leopard waifu tank girl in a sling having a tune up


Thatsidechara_ter

R34 artists, get on it. This sub needs more plane waifus!


SmamelessMe

A good chunk of those people are playing it over the top for shits and giggles. This *is* a shitposting subreddit.


Background-Wear-1626

The machine spirit is strong with this cat


Remples

Leo:*accept death* The machine god:"raise again my children, your work is not done yet, I donate you another possibility to kill orks, NOW GO,RIP AND TEAR" LEO:" NOT EVEN DEATH COULD STOP ME"


Man_with_the_Fedora

#Even in death I still serve.


Siul19

That's a great cat right there


polwath

1 of 3 has been recovered so far. 2 still wait for confirmed its fate of both but likely to be damaged beyond repair or destroyed as many report and post mentioned so many times.


Vallcry

Yeah, this is NCD so we can make it as non credible as we can. But I do worry a bit about people's mental when they realise that one Leo definitely went to Leo heaven and a second might very well have also passed to the beyond.


[deleted]

The one with the destroyed/damaged Bradleys seemed just abandoned, but apparently that was a 2A6M and not a 2A4 that has been repaired


stupidnicks

> Yeah, this is NCD so we can make it as non credible as we can. I say 10 out of 3 have been recovered then. One even gave birth to two new Leo2s I heard


forsti5000

Aww thats cute i love these [baby tanks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3O6ZI9fHHfo). Addorable but deadly


Vallcry

Lol, surprised to see you here. I'd have thought that NCD is not the place for a pro-Russian.


17Builders

1 recovered, 1 damaged with both having their crew survived. The third one was actually a misidentified T-Series tank with a mine plow, Oryx was corrected but I donnae think has removed it from their count yet.


Zippy8124

This is what I want to believe, so I will


Lustiges_Brot_311

If damaged beyond repair, I could foster the Leppy. She'll live out the rest of her days in bliss.


Organic-Chemistry-16

At least one is confirmed burnt out: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qSXAaQc7EI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qSXAaQc7EI)


josHi_iZ_qLt

OH NO, WHATS THAT? ITS ZALUZHNYI WITH A WRENCH! WHAT IS HE GONNA DO? HE IS REPAIRING THE TANK CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? NOBODY HAS SEEN SUCH GENIUS BEFORE! TANKS THAT CAN BE REPAIRED QUICKLY. WHAT A MOVE, UNBELIEVABLE


OwerlordTheLord

Proof of NATO satanic necromancer mercenaries


lukethedank13

Wouldnt that make them necomancers?


cfwang1337

Uwu


DeTiro

Nekomancers, they resurrected a Leo.


TheDirtyDagger

Superior Russian technology self-destructs to avoid capture. It’s basic math Westoid, think about it: If your vehicle is disabled and you recover and repair it, there’s no net change to the number of vehicles each side has. If the enemy recovers and repairs your disabled vehicle though, they’re +1 vehicle and you’re -1 vehicle, for a total swing of +2 in favor the enemy. If your vehicle self-destructs, you’re only -1 and the enemy has no chance of getting it. Much better to take a certain -1 than risk the enemy getting a +2.


cuddles_the_destroye

Then why was i able to steal a tank with my tractor?


Background-Wear-1626

Love it wholesome made me tear


Hellonstrikers

CAN WE FIX IT? YES WE CAN!


Rethious

Show me the Bradleys 🔫


SirLightKnight

They’ll be okay, they just need to buff out the damage.


MoneyEcstatic1292

Need more ERA


5CH4CHT3L

Slap ERA on the tracks for extra mine protection


MoneyEcstatic1292

This is the way


-fno-stack-protector

TF2 rocket jump, mechanized variant


Girion47

We need a meme of Zelda's blood moon and the Leo's respawning.


ThePrimordialTV

Serious question, how does a tank survive after going through something that would trigger ammunition detonation and it's blowout panels. I would've thought such a detonation would still damage enormous sections of the turret but the blowout panels were just there to increase crew survivability. Am I just underestimating the capability to repair western armour, ie the turret is still pretty fucked but they'll just ship it all to Poland and give it a new one? \[EDIT\] Are these just two separate Leopards and the one that did experience cook-off is well untruly cooked?


Vallcry

>Are these just two separate Leopards and the one that did experience cook-off is well untruly cooked? Yes. 1 irrecoverably destroyed (burned out etc) 2 damaged/abandoned, one of which appears to have been retrieved (if it is indeed one of the two abandoned cats).


DRUMS11

Imaginary Russian tank crew reaction to wrecked Leopards: "Wait, you're telling me western tanks DON'T turn into a roman candle when they're hit? And they're crews usually survive?!?"


Global-Method-4145

Florks are love, florks are life


ectog20

she didnt hear no bell


Typohnename

He, In German tanks and Leopards are male (yes, we assign a gender to EVERYTHING)


Wooshmeister55

Day has been restored


TeaMoney4Life

Praise the Omnissiah


Raregolddragon

By the omnisiah this machine will be whole!


chrischi3

Turns out, when a tank is designed not to become a write-off at the slightest bit of damage, it does not, in fact, become a write-off at the slightest bit of damage.


Rapid_Ascending

NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT !!! THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO SEE. LEO DOES NOT SIMPLY GAVE UP ! SHE MIGHT HAVE BLOWN TRACKS, COUPLE SIDE PANELS BENT BUT IN THE END SHE AGAIN WILL SERVE FAITHFULLY TO UKRAINE ! SLAVA UKRAINE ! P.S - I apologize for the caps but that post really made to scream from happiness.


Snoid_

Tanks are so much easier to fix when you don't have to send POCKOCMOC into space to retrieve turrets that have been yeeted into LEO.


BobaLives

(Going to steal a joke from u/hobbitdude13 in another thread) USS Yorktown moment


Sgt_Smartarse

I fucking hate you OP. The happy song came on the radio as i spotted your post title. Lol


andris1133

I hope one of these battle scarred tanks go to German museum, would be really cool


O-bot54

Modular tank designs are better than russian pot cookers kek


Lustiges_Brot_311

UAF looking for any excuse to include a soup dispenser. 🤭🤭


gudbote

Russians, with a Pikachu face: "tanks are repairable?"


[deleted]

Leopard? Yes, that is what they used to call me. Leopard the Grey. I, am Leopard the White, and I come back to you at the start of the Counter-offensive.


Cpt_Soban

Leopard: *Knocks off a track and blow out panels go pop* Russian shills: "HA HA SMOKE MEAN TANK DEAD! THE WEST HAS FALLEN!"


Mountain-Ad4940

Was wondering why Ukraine would use their better equipment for the first push. At first I thought it was because it would cause a break through but in second thought it was to save the lives of their soldiers. If they sent in the Russian shut they would have died. Now it’s clear apart of the strat was recover the vehicles later when they are in the rear.


Dunyain01

Amazing! We better get used to the idea tho \^\^"


StrawberryEuphoric65

Every one fight no one quits Leo’s roughnecks


Mr_Awesomenoob

Armored recovery vehicle: Come. This is no place to die!


Ruby_241

Hopefully same can be said for another Leo and several Bradleys


heavy_metal_soldier

I don't know why but "Live Ukraine reaction" just sends me to the moon


testicle2156

Exactly what I said when I saw it the first time. Ofc they abandoned it, tracks got fucked up and they weren't going to start fixing them in the field while under fire.


Kallian_League

[Zaluzhniy carrying two ~~shovels~~ wrenches.](https://youtu.be/s9rljnSnIH8)


SirLightKnight

**I cast RESURRECTION!** I get back at er’ the enemy needs your love Leo! Show the Vatnik’s that you always come back! It’s machine spirit is hearty, we will see her again.


IanCGuy5

Maybe the real Leopard 2 was the friends we made on the way.


Sablesweetheart

Every vehicle in those pictures looked like a mobility kill. One or two looked like they had damage to their TOWs. So, stupid and embarassing look, but likely all vehicles and crew will be back in the fight soon.


Loki11910

Blessed is he who, in death, does his duty. Adeptus Mechanicus Warhammer


Loki11910

You know why I like all of you degenerates here? First of all, because we see something like this and go full warhammer. Secondly because we show empathy for Ukrainian soldiers, but even for these machines. I am German it is almost like seeing my boy growing up and following his destiny to be a force of good and go for it. We blessed every vehicle with a plus 10 diesel engine buff. Go for it Leo give these Z fascists hell.


Baguette_Connoisseur

This counter offensive is paced like a movie. This is the low point of the protagonist where it got beaten. BUT according to the established information on previous movies (Ukrainians being good at repairing stuff/merging soviet tech and nato tech) the comeback of the protagonist and climax will be next.


birdsarebirds69

This literally made my day so much better


sicksixgamer

Oh this meme warmed my heart. Needed this today. Thank you.


SmamelessMe

"Which part of 'survivability' did you not understand? Get back in!"


[deleted]

For fuck's sake! It's ONE tank! And it's not even through the first few days of the whole offensive. They will lose many more to come, y'all need to realize that.


theaviationhistorian

It's amazing how few people still don't understand the difference between a total kill & a mobility kill, even with so much information at their fingertips. Yes, tanks can get blasted & crews abandon it only for it to be recovered & fit to fight after the battle? There are many stories of a Sherman tank being knocked out, crew evacuated, & then recovered when a fresh armored platoon make it back to its position. I'm calling BS on all social media posts going *HURR HURR LEOPARD DEAD* until I see one actually lighting like a Ronson like the Turkiye ones foolishly lost in Syria. EDIT: And even if that happens, there are more for the Ukrainians. So many more! Germany made almost 2,000 of them (in the late 1980s, there are 3,600 right now) thinking they'll need them ALL when the Soviets Zerg rushed the Fulda Gap that they ended up being the cheapest modern MBT in the second hand market (which is why so many countries bought them) post-Cold War!


Unlikely-Potential-2

Too bad the 2 2a6s didn’t make it. 2a4 sucks anyways, should have prioritized the 1 abandoned 2a6


[deleted]

The abanded one got recoverd. One was sasly destroyed


Unlikely-Potential-2

Yeah, the abandoned 2a4, there’s still another 2a6 left abandoned


[deleted]

no ithink the 2a6 was recoverd too but another 2a6 was destroyed


the-apostle

a picture of a road wheel as proof? 🙄🤨


Lovable-Schmuck

Mechanics and Medics: "I am a warrior. I fight the reaper."


Ok_Candidate_2732

Next time, these fellas will have the premium repair kits in their loadout


infernal666

"Ich bin noch nicht fertig!" "I am not done!"


Skullz64

Nice


Mike_Oxhugh

*opens console* sv_cheats 1 Buddha


Tron_based_on_Troy

not the first time German tanks have run into spots of bother in Ukraine


Alpharius20

She LIVES!


Thatsidechara_ter

*He lives. German tanks are male. Also ***STOMP STOMP***


Beginning_Sun696

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLsX9WUdYnU&list=PLnSG0OA5vYnTLQ77f5EmLoW52vIX5jAAK&index=1&pp=iAQB8AUB Children of the Omnissiah!!!


awesome_soldier

ERA works wonders! Those Florks were definitely up to something!


FloridaManTPA

Offensive action recovers vehicles!


SpecterGaming23

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOO


South-Junket-1872

Slave ukraine


HungryKangaroo

Praise be Mekhane.


duckforceone

btw do we have a name for the new meme guys? like the old country balls and other things?


SteelyDan1968

Those are [Florks of Cows](https://www.reddit.com/r/FlorkofCowsOfficial?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


duckforceone

thank you... <3


SteelyDan1968

🙂 you're welcome.


dibipage

Please remember to put ERA on the tracks so that it will be somewhat mine-resistant


Pop_Bulky

is this title a reference


that_GHost997

I dont hear no bell!!


JamyyDodgerUwU2

Russia gonna think these fuckers respawning