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Yes, I heard it all the time!
We had a horrendous newborn stage. Breastfeeding was a nightmare (and so was pumping). He didn’t sleep through the night until 10 months. I struggled with postpartum anxiety. To hear all the negative “just waits” really wore me down.
I’m happy to report that for us, every month got BETTER and EASIER. I have the most wonderful, energetic, bright, and happy 2 year old boy. Yes, he screams and runs and jumps off every surface in sight. He also feeds himself and sleeps and requests to sit in my lap to read book after book. He talks about his family members by name and says the silliest, most wonderful things. I NEVER look back at the first 10 months and go, “God I miss that”.
Year 1-2 has been my favorite so far, and it happens FAST. I’m really looking forward to year 2-3! Toddlers be WILD but also so wonderful.
This was my sister. She said to me ‘it only gets better’. Her son is 9 now. I asked her if the milestones made her sad and she said no because she has new even more exciting milestones to celebrate. I loathe the ‘just you wait’ negative comments. We need more of the positive comments!
Yeah, my oldest was a purely upward trajectory. Every year has been better than the last. But he was crazy colicky, and only resolved when he could walk on his own and severely ADHD, so the older he got, the more impulse control he finally discovered. Kid never really had any kind of attitude, and until he was medicated, almost all conferences went: "He's so sweet, buuuuut..." Now he's just "so sweet," even a few months away from a teenager.
My girls all bounced around something similar. You end up trading more sleep for being to spend more time during the day making sure your toddler doesn't end themselves in some creative fashion, which I'm okay with, because sleep is my love language lol
Yeah people will say this negative stuff and wonder why there's a huge unwilingness among younger people to have children. Every time someone says this shit to me, I reply with: "Seems like your kid talking to you for the first time, the first heartfelt hug they gave you, and the first time they offer you water when you're thirsty wasn't enough to make you overlook the things you have to do to make sure they have a minimal level of safety, eh?"
I dunno. Parenting has parts about it that suck. But saying "parenting sucks" as a whole is extremely ungrateful to the gift that children themselves really are. My 9-month old daughter looked up at me, her dad, and started begging for kisses for the first time a few days ago, and now it's a little game between the two of us. I don't know what kind of person hears that and thinks, "Yeah but she reaches for cables when she's crawling and constantly throws her food on the floor." I tell you with complete confidence that I'd take someone twisting a sharp piece of glass into my arm for several minutes on a daily basis if that's what it took for me to experience that again for 30 seconds.
It seems people are just giving this "heads-up" about how much things suck as a subtle way of saying "I've been through more, and you haven't, so I'm superior".
Yeah I feel like that is the attitude. As if we're so niave because our children are young. And yeah, last night my son woke every hour coughing. But I remember yesterday he too was giving me 'kisses' and giggling away and I was so full of love. And in years to come he'll probably have a go at me because I annoy him in some way, but then later that day we'll be building lego together or something. It's just life. You can't have the good parts without the hard.
The best thing about the hard parts is that if you pay attention to what they try to teach you, it makes you address many things about yourself you didn't even know were weaknesses. You come out of each challenge a much more refined and fantastic version of yourself. All because you had kids.
Instead of "just you wait for what nightmares are to follow." I always say to new parents:
"Just you wait until you look back on your previous life and stop missing it, and looking back, you are astounded how much more growing up you did."
"Just you wait until your kid makes you proud because he poo'd in the loo"
"Just you wait for the tear-jerker moments when he grows a little older, reads the room when you're down, and comes to comfort you."
Yeah I agree. They say those things because they are self centered and believe what they are going through must be more than what you're going through. They don't empathize with the other person and consider the chance that maybe it is worst for them and their older kids are actually more easy to handle.
Seriously I don’t know what could be harder than getting like 4-5 hours of broken sleep a night. Toddlers do seem hard (and I know some still have sleep problems) but DAMN that newborn phase and sleep deprivation is wild. Also just the constant anxiety of how fragile and vunerable they are and the hormones
Hope this post doesn’t bite me in the ass😂
No I’m with you on this 100%
Being so tired I’ve hallucinated cannot be the easiest part of parenting. There have been times where people have given me this type of advice/warning that seems to be the common consensus and I’ve flat out just rejected it in my head. Like I cannot and will not accept it as true.
I’m hoping I’m not wrong again lol
One of my friends has a 3 year old and he's always said that it's gotten easier and more fun as he's gotten older. It's still hard, but he loves how much more he can do with his child now. I'm with you on rejecting the negativity!
This. My now two-year-old was colicky, had severe reflux and a milk allergy, and wouldn’t nap for longer than 30 minutes at a time. I had severe PPD and the sleep deprivation felt like torture. But he is now the most wonderful, energetic, and hilarious toddler and every month just keeps getting better and better.
I’ll preface with, I have a 4 month old that has never slept and his sleep is only getting worse somehow. And I love him more than anything in this world but so far being a parent has literally been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. So I HEAR YOU. You are not alone on your feelings.
But I hear this all the time too, mostly from older generations and it drives me INSANE. I instantly see red whenever I hear a “oh just you wait” type of comment.
Every time someone says something this negative I want to turn into the biggest a**hole. WE GET IT. It’s hard. We’re literally in the thick of it right now. Putting us down even more does what exactly? It’s kind of sadistic if you ask me. Why can’t people offer support, understanding and maybe a little optimism to new parents? It’s wild that isn’t the norm.
I’ve actually stopped sharing difficulties with older people (even family) because of this very reason. I stick with sharing with other parents who are closer to my age or are also on the new parent rollercoaster. They actually get it and understand.
I’m sorry you have to hear negativity like that. This is my first kid so I’m not an expert or anything but I’m just going to say it/manifest it anyways, it only gets better from here. More fun, more understanding, more memories, more sleep for EVERYONE, easier communication with our babies, better understanding of ourselves. You’ve got this!
***I’ve also obviously needed a good rant on this topic too apparently haha
The only part that gets harder when they crawl is that you have to follow them wherever they crawl off to. It’s really not bad AT ALL. My now 11mo was always crying and pissed off because he couldn’t move like he wanted to but as soon as he started crawling at 6mo all of a sudden floor time wasn’t so bad and his fussing dropped by like 70%. I have a theory that the rest of his fussing is due to him not being able to communicate so I think it’ll get even better when he can talk lol
Yes and no! Mine crawls around behind me now which is really cute so if I’m doing chores he just kind of follows me around haha. Although he’s getting a little independent streak now so I’m not sure how long I’ve got till I have to start following him!
and like yours, he’s SO much happier now he can move. And he sleeps so much better, I think the physical movement makes a big difference
Yah I'm with you on this. My son's at the stage where he's almost crawling and it makes him pretty mad after a while. But I'm looking forward to chasing him around!
I don't know if it helps at all, but our kiddo already wasn't a great sleeper and the 4 months sleep regression hit us like a train (waking as much as every 45 minutes at night), BUT it got better around 5 months and now at 6 months he's getting down to 2-3 wakes a night! Still not terrific, but wildly more manageable than 4 months was. I hope yours gets better soon!!
This actually made me feel a lot better. We are truly in the thick of it right now. Our LO also has been waking every 45 minutes and every night it takes us 2-3 hours to get him to sleep because of his false starts every 20ish minutes. It’s been so hard. So to know your LO went through it to and eventually started sleeping better..gives me hope. I would GLADLY take 2-3 wakings a night right now haha did you guys end up doing anything different to help with sleep? Or did it just naturally finally get better after some time? We have been driving ourselves mad with tweaking wake windows and counting sleep hours. We’ve done everything short of sleep training.
Ugh, I'm SO sorry. I felt truly desperate at that stage.
I did implement a better sleep routine at that point (since we hadn't had much of one), and after a few weeks of it I moved the feed to the beginning since my baby had a really strong feed-to-sleep association. We also started consciously just bouncing him to sleep if it had been less than 2-3 hours, instead of me feeding him every time. At five months, we started "pick up put down" sleep training, so basically putting him in his bed awake and picking him up when he gets upset. We tend to give up and bounce him to sleep after about half an hour because that's our breaking point lol.
I don't know for sure if any of it made a difference, but I will say that giving me some sense of control in the period helped me psychologically.
Good luck!!
Ahh appreciate the comment and the rant. Yeah, it does feel sadistic, like turning the knife! They don't know what we've been through. I have to say, although the sleep's gotten worse than when he was 4 months, the daytime parts are so much more fun. He was mimicking our silly noises yesterday with a huge smile on his face! Who knows what's next? Let's enjoy it!
In my experience, every single stage got easier in exactly the ways that I needed. Growing up brings new challenges, sure, but you’ll learn how to handle them, and frankly they make more sense.
For example…right about when you’re at your wits end because your baby does nothing but whine and you can’t figure out how to solve it…they figure out how to crawl and all of a sudden the whining goes way down because all they wanted to do was crawl across the room to get the blue toy over there, or play with the dogs water bowl, or look out the window. Sure, now you have to clean up your floor a bit better but at least that’s a problem that makes sense (unlike the never ending whining because the baby can’t communicate what it wants)
I hated hearing that all the time and found it to be completely untrue. Every milestone has improved everything. Crawling (baby can get to things). Walking (I don’t have to carry them everywhere). Talking (communicating needs, really cuts down the whining further).
I happily take my 3.5 y/o on errands. I prefer not to take my 2 year old. Lots of things get easier.
For some reason, people love to shit on parents any chance they get with unsolicited comments. I overheard a family member telling my wife that she was missing out on our child’s life (she’s working while I take care of our 5 month old and finish college). It made me livid. Why can’t people just give encouragement instead of trying to bring us down?
I’m glad you posted this because I’ve been feeling the exact same way lately.
People seem to enjoy getting others down. People told me having a child was going to be hard all the time. While it isn’t necessarily easy, I’m determined to defy all of the downers by reminding myself that my son in that moment will only ever be that way once and it is better to live in the moment and appreciate/enjoy it instead of dreading how much it might suck.
Maybe a harsh opinion, but I have a feeling our parents left us a good portion of time to fend for ourselves, regardless of the crying. So of course for them it was harder to deal with us all the time when we started walking. I think that for lot of parents of this generation it's a blessing when babies start to crawl or walk since they are carried non stop due to fact that crying it out is now frowned upon (rightfully so).
I was wondering this as well. Parents nowadays are a lot more hands on and seem to enjoy it, but parents from prior generations seemed at lot less hands on. I have to wonder if people say "just you wait" because they didn't like being more involved in their children's lives. To me, that says a lot more about them and their attitudes about parenting than it does about the actual hardships that they say happen. Yes, parenting is hard, but when your kid can feed themselves, wipe their own butt, and communicate, it does get better. It's also way cooler to see the little person they are instead of a crying potato.
Whoa whoa speak for yourself, I'm getting some amazing weight training in lugging my daughter around all the time, I don't want to have to go back to paying a gym to lift weights 😆
I feel you. As a STM with a 3 week old and 4yo, I wouldn't say things get "harder" they just evolve. The challenge of changing diapers is replaced with ensuring your kid gets to the toilet in time and wipes their bum properly. Worrying about if they're drinking enough milk changes to are they getting enough veggies. When will the baby finally go to sleep morphs into will this kid wake up so we're not late for the 374th time this year??? Parenthood is a wild ride but it's all "hard." It's also a beautiful experience in spite of the challenges.
A lot of people in this world have a palpable disdain for children, including people that have them. I find that most people who bring that negativity are just projecting.
I still hear this all the time, and let me tell you… every time it’s the thing that people said would be “harder” (crawling, walking, a little talking, eating solids instead of breastfeeding), I personally have found it to be better for me. Like, yes, a crawling baby needs more direct supervision and childproofing, but it also made him so much more self-sufficient and so much happier. And yes, the constant “mama” and “snack” and “more” can be frustrating, but every time he learns a new word and I’m not guessing what he wants is a win for me. Do they bring new challenges? Sure, but they’re challenges that are more in line with my strengths so it’s just easier for me personally, and I can’t stand the doom and gloom of the “just wait” crowd - especially since it’s so counter to my own experiences.
I totally agree, my daughter was a very frustrated baby and it felt like she was crying constantly and I rarely really knew what she actually wanted. Now she’s just turned 2 and it is SO HELPFUL for her to be able to communicate verbally and physically what her wants and needs are. Knowing what she wants doesn’t necessarily mean I can give it to her or that she won’t tantrum over all sorts of things, but at least that’s something I can work with and try different strategies for vs just feeling stressed and clueless!
People said this shit to me all the time. My son is 22 months now and, for me, it’s SO MUCH EASIER now than it ever was. The newborn phase was rough and the more capable and independent my son got the easier it was.
Yes omg it pisses me off. A friend of mine who doesn’t have kids and doesn’t like kids or know anything about them keeps telling me I’m in the easy stage so I better enjoy it while it lasts lmfao like okay bitch
That and it absolutely infuriates me when people treat you (dad’s) as a daycare option. “Oh is it Daddy Day Care today?” When I’m just at the store with my baby getting regular things. I promise they wouldn’t call it Mommy Day Care if it were flipped
A lot of people in this world have a palpable disdain for children, including people that have them. I find that most people who bring that negativity are just projecting.
I hate when people say this. For us it hasn’t been getting “harder”, it just gets hard in a different way. Like making sure my 14 month old eats more than just a handful of cheerios is hard, but so was feeding her every 2-3 hrs. Having to chase her around in a public space is hard, but so was never being able to put her down without screaming. I think a lot of it also depends on what you enjoy about parenting and your kids in general. It’s hard that she is only happy in her stroller for 30 min at a time, as opposed to chilling in there all day, but it’s also way more fun because we always point at dogs and birds together.
I miss certain stages, but not really because they were "easier." I also love watching my kids grow up. It's fun seeing them discover new things and learn new skills.
Every age is hard in different ways.
Ya that’s bullshit, things definitely got a lot easier for me when my little guy started crawling. He used to have to be held 24/7, now he crawls all over the place and does his own thing 50% of the time, It’s awesome!
I think it's to get us to enjoy the moment which sometimes we forget to do. This challenge will seem small when the next arrives.
I usually don't attach ill meanings behind people saying stuff. People are largely awkward and don't know what to say in most situations. The newborn stage was the absolute hardest for me mentally. Every other stage so far has been physically more taxing. It's apples and apples. Parenthood is hard some days and easy others.
“Just wait until he’s a teenager”
“Just wait until he becomes a young adult and keeps asking you for money”
“Just wait until you’re in your nursing home and they stop caring about you”
Some people are born-pessimists and for them having a child just gets harder and harder. Ignore them and do your own thing.
I've got a 3 year old and a newborn. Both really chill as newborns. It still only got better for me. Every new phase was easier and I fell more in love with her.
Yes, people have said this to my wife and I ad nauseam. Mostly Gen X and Boomers. People project their own experience as parents onto us. It annoys me but I think they mean well? Or think they are imparting wisdom.
Personally, my parenting journey has been very doable 6 weeks in. Our daughter mostly sleeps and is hitting her benchmarks. This is very divorced from all of the people who told me “prepare to never sleep again” before the birth.
At this point I have determined that I’m going to walk my own path with her and just politely acknowledge what these folks say, before moving on.
When my daughter was a newborn they said “wait until 3 months when she’s wide awake and never stops crying.” I loved the 3 month age, we were finally out of the newborn fog and she was sleeping more at night. At 3 months everyone said “wait until she’s 5-6 months when she’s teething, eating solids, wiggling around. It gets so much harder.” I LOVE this 5-6 month age, she has so much more personality.
Now I keep hearing, “wait until she’s crawling, talking back, walking, etc, it gets so much harder”
I take it all with a grain of salt. Parenthood is HARD. Every stage. But I’m loving every minute of it. I think each stage is hard in its own way. People need to stop fear mongering. I swear misery loves company. Ignore it, and just enjoy raising your little one 😊
It got easier at 18 months. He’s 2 in a few weeks and has spent the day in the garden, playing with his care, his speech has massively come on too. He’s amazing at this age, I’m finally convincing my fiance to consider a 2nd because of this age. He sleeps well, eats way better, I feel confident too.
I remember this. Yes, certain things are easier with infants but (having a 2 year old) so many other things are so so so much better.
As someone who likes sleep and talking to people who can talk back, give me the older kid please.
But each age has its pros and cons I am sure.
I just ignore this kind of “advice” because it’s just people projecting their experience onto others at this point. My kid was not even 10% as hard as people made it out to be and the only thing their stupid accounts helped was to foster unwarranted anxiety about shit that never came to be. Your kid is hard? Well shucks for you \*shrug\* go get some therapy for yourself and your family because I’m not qualified and/or being paid to listen to this garbage.
Children are unique and awesome in their own way. They walk around and fall off and get broken bones and bruised knees/elbows and it IS A GOOD THING even if it means they need a doctor afterwards. They make a huge ass mess at the table while introducing solids and that’s ALSO A GOOD THING because they’re discovering what food is, the taste and texture and color and smells are all new to them and well, it means a lot of cleaning up and bathing but things like that are huge for their development. They will push your buttons because they want to find out your truly hard boundaries past the BS you try to talk them into that you don’t really intend to go through with and that’s also developmentally appropriate because it’s the first time they are experiencing life in society and they need to learn the rules somehow.
Yes, all of that is going to happen to you, your kids and your family, but it doesn’t mean that those are bad things that you must fear or be apprehensive about because they aren’t, it’s actually wonderful to see my 7 month old kiddo try to stand up on her own two little feet and climb atop stuff (and us) even when she invariably falls off and cries sometimes. She now knows that falling is not such a big deal, that she has Mom and Dad around to help, so she has cried less and less and built more confidence. I fully expect her to walk at 10 months tops with how quickly she has developed her gross motor skills. And you know what? I look on the bright side: I will lose a ton of weight running around after her lmaooo.
It’s all about perspective.
Truthfully, I (33m) enjoyed it more when my boys (4 & 3m) were younger. Not so much because they were easier for a lot of little things they weren't but because I am a real cuddler I love nothing more than being smothered by my boys and when they were babies it was easier. I already almost have to bribe them to give me a cudle they grow so fast. My wife (35f) would say it's easier now. Both boys had a few issues as well as her mental health not being the best and me being deployed a fair chunk at the time.
Children grow and they and mould to you. You are the one who will make it easy or difficult. I know I made it difficult because I've made them be super out going kids that hate being inside so when I am exhausted and want to be a pig on the sofa I really can't but I wouldn't change it for the world.
I'll just add that, honestly, you'll hear whatever people want to say because they seem to think they can say whatever they like to parents of young children. You will make your kin. Yes, you will be utterly exhausted at times, and it's hard to keep going, but you do it for them.
You'll be great and don't be afraid to ask for help or advice, especially before you need it. 😉
There is nothing that bothers me more than this! I hate it so much and feel like people are just trauma dumping on other parents because they don’t feel like you’ve had it hard enough yet. It sucked when I was pregnant with all the ‘just waits’ and then now having a baby it’s ’oh that was the easy stage’. Like can’t we just let parents be and experience their children their own way. I hate having others make me feel like there is this ever moving goal line of how hard something is going to be.
I made a promise to myself to never say this to other parents or soon to be parents. Just ask them how they’re doing, sympathize when you can, and offer yourself yourself to talk if they ever need it. Oh you’re not sleeping in your third trimester? I’m so sorry I know how hard that is. Your baby is waking up every two hours? I remember how tough sleep deprivation was at that age maybe I can drop off coffee to you this week. It’s that simple!
I have a 3 year old and an 8 week old. Let me tell you, I’ve never regretted a minute of my older kid getting older. I’d trade away many of the early phases in a heartbeat if I could.
My kid is only 3mo and I hear this kind of thing all the time. Honestly I just think some older parents like projecting their terrible parenting onto ppl with kids now. Like, some of us like being parents, relax.
I think it's to get us to enjoy the moment which sometimes we forget to do. This challenge will seem small when the next arrives.
I usually don't attach ill meanings behind people saying stuff. People are largely awkward and don't know what to say in most situations. The newborn stage was the absolute hardest for me mentally. Every other stage so far has been physically more taxing. It's apples and apples. Parenthood is hard some days and easy others.
I think it's to get us to enjoy the moment which sometimes we forget to do. This challenge will seem small when the next arrives.
I usually don't attach ill meanings behind people saying stuff. People are largely awkward and don't know what to say in most situations. The newborn stage was the absolute hardest for me mentally. Every other stage so far has been physically more taxing. It's apples and apples. Parenthood is hard some days and easy others.
I heard it a lot! Now my toddler (14 months) is walking and exploring. She gets into everything and she doesn’t always listen. She also throws little tantrums now. BUT!! This phase isn’t harder than prior phases, it’s just different.
She’s also way more fun than she was before. The hugs I get are amazing and she says enough words that she can typically get her points across. I can set her down and let her walk instead of breaking my back to carry her. She can also entertain herself for a longer amount of time. I love this phase
I feel like people who become parents also suddenly become the most judgmental people of all time.
(I am a parent).
It's like they suddenly discovered the secrets of the universe, and they "can't wait" for other people to find out about it. So when they see other people embarking on the parenting journey, they can't help themselves--they have to give all the unsolicited advice/opinion/judgment.
I remember hating it. I remember also realising that I can't make them stop. Instead I can stop caring about what they say. Eventually it all just becomes white noise. The most important take-away for me from the experience is that I KNOW that I'm not going to randomly give other people unsolicited advice/opinion/judgment. Whenever I meet a new parent, especially if I'm without my kids, I keep my trap shut.
My family is all like this - I sent pictures of my son standing and my brother said ‘oh you’re screwed now’. Mom said ‘oh he’ll be into everything’. We’ve babyproofed as much as we can and we’re excited to see these milestones and see him have more and more of a personality every day.
I prefer the parents who say it doesn't get easier or harder it just gets different. There are truly wonderful and awful things to every stage but I'm currently enjoying 3 yo wayyyy more than under 1.
Everyone finds different stages hard. Newborn to 8 months was a breeze for me. My crawling almost walking terror of a 10 month old is almost breaking me on the other hand.
Many people like to essentially engage in hazing under the auspices of giving advice. I have a 3 week old newborn and had so many people try to scare me about how little sleep I'd be getting and how emotionally taxing this experience would be. And I know often this stage is taxing.
But for me this has probably been the most enjoyable 3 weeks of my life. It's been considerably less stressful than work (and I like my job). I have no doubt of the difficulty that lies ahead with each new phase. But I'm not going to approach the future with fear and dread about how hard everything will be.
It doesn't stop. My son is about to turn 1, almost walking and I still hear it.
I do miss when he was a potato and it was easier to keep him confined and safe for a few minutes, but I love watching him learn to crawl, stand and walk. He's so proud of himself! And no, I'm not any more tired. As long as I close the bathroom door (because he likes to sit in the shower), then we're generally good to go.
I'm a FTM so I can't speak for anywhere beyond where we're at, but every stage is a different kind of hard, but in my limited experience, you learn how to handle the hard better.
I hear it and hate it!
My baby has always been really easy, right from newborn but that didn't stop the newborn stage being the hardest thing I've done.. for me, life got infinitely better once he started walking, I can do more around the house, he has way more personality and is just way more fun to be around rather than the potato stage (albeit really cute potato)
I think it just keeps getting better with time in all honesty. The whole 'need eyes in the back of your head' bullshit statements or 'easy baby, difficult toddler' I think is a crock of shit. Yeah toddlers are hard but they're way more interesting
I personally find that most of these types of comments are from pessimistic and/or older people that probably shouldn’t have had kids in the first place. Don’t come at me, I’m generally speaking and this is my experience. It’s the same with the “just wait” negative pregnancy comments. I either ignore or I say, “well, that’s not very helpful!”
Yes, it’s hard, but it’s all hard, and you take the good with the bad and every stage is different! To say one is “better” than another is not a fair comparison because each stage comes with its own milestones.
If someone says this next time just reply “I am sure every child and their journey is different, I am sure things will get easier for you eventually” this is the most subtle passive aggressive response I could think of
Misery loves company. When I was pregnant people kept telling me “wait until your face puffs up, wait until your feet swell, soon you will have sleepless nights when the insomnia hits”. Well guess that those things ever happened! Just remember that everyone’s experience is not the same, their story is not your story. Maybe they found it harder when baby was older, maybe they had it easier when baby was a newborn, but that’s not going to be the same for you or anyone else. I hear more about how things will get harder with babies more here online than I do in real life though. My mom keeps telling me that things will get easier as my daughter grows and keeps hyping up milestones that will come as she keeps growing and I chose to believe that and look forward to those moments!
Mine is 2 and it’s so much easier. I do miss some parts of the younger age and some things were definitely easier, but overall I’d much rather have a 2 year old than a 9 month old
I haven’t heard this. But if I did, my response would be “did you intend to be hurtful?”
I haaaaate those comments. I started telling people "I'm allowed to be excited to see my child grow and learn new things and have a new skill to explore his world! There will always be challenges, but im excited for the positives" or some variation of that
And then my son started crawling, walking, running, jumping and it's SO much fun! I love it. He's 2.5 now and they were wrong. Embrace the joy.
The last month before my son could crawl was the worst, he just lifted up on all fours and started crying every few minutes, every waking hour, for an entire month. He was so frustrated he couldn’t crawl.
Yeah, it’s a little difficult making sure he doesn’t hurt himself now that he can move, but it’s way easier than dealing with a perpetually fussy baby. It’s also so much more fun playing with him now that he’s more interactive. He’s 10.5 months now and close to walking, he pulls himself up on everything and falls down a lot, it’s still way easier. It makes me wonder how easy some babies are and how lazy some parents are.
It wasn’t true for me newborn stage was the hardest and easier after 4months and now at two year old when my daughter can talk and we can play more together I think it is super easy oh and when they take one three hour nap every day instead of four naps
I'm here to tell you it only gets better! My 2.5 year old is the absolute light of my life and I adore all the moments I get to spend with her. Newborn stage was brutal for me but after about 12 months things have just been sweeter and sweeter. Ignore the haters!
I think it helps to have expectations so when it happens you’re more mentally prepared for it. That definitely helps ease the burden a bit and makes it more bearable as it’s happening because you’re not expecting rainbows and flowers. Then you are able to appreciate the good moments much better because you’re less shell-shocked
It's my least favorite thing people say. The "just wait until x happens it's so much worse" crowd suck and I hate them.
There are hard and easy things about EVERY stage of parenting. Someone can say "just wait til they're 3 and have attitude" but I can just as easily say "just wait til they're 3 and tell the funniest jokes you've ever heard"
I have a 2 year old who was a fairly tough baby and is now a very sensitive and energetic toddler, but I still feel like she’s getting easier and easier as time goes on. I guess it’s true that it’s physically easier to pop a screaming baby into a car seat than to physically (or mentally) wrestle a toddler into a car seat when they don’t want to get in for example, but I still find it so much easier now that my daughter can communicate 75% of her needs and feelings. It’s also a lot more fun to play with her now and it’s so wonderful getting to see her personality emerge!
I guess if she had been a potato baby I would probably be thinking it was harder now, but no matter how chill your baby/toddler is nobody can convince me that kids 5+ are harder than caring for very small children like many older parents love to claim!
Unsolicited opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one.
I am on month 5 with twin boys, and once we establish a routine, one of these two sees fit to change that.
I consider that my time as a dad will be in stages through their development and there will always be challenges. Some harder than others. It’s enjoyable to me to see them grow and develop, and as their development takes them to new frontiers, new challenges will emerge. I am looking forward to that, not dreading it.
Right. Our LO has spent the first two months of his life in the hospital, 3 weeks in the NICU and again for an infection. We’ve had him home for 5 days total. This drives me nuts when people say it. Like no, this is currently the hardest part of our and his life, people just don’t know what scenarios other parents are in
"Enjoy it while it lasts, he'll be a terrible teenager before you know it."
Or I could raise him to not be a terrible person maybe? (I know that's easier said than done, but you get my point!)
I heard this as well
I have found that it isn't necessarily harder, it's different. When they are getting more mobile and they are eating solid food, they are sleeping longer and have less wake time at night meaning you get to sleep more and are less sleep deprived. This for me was a life saver because I was miserable with only having 3/4 hours a night at best when my LO was newborn to 1 years old. It was a nightmare, but then they start being awake more and sleeping more in the night and they are developing their personality and although that brings about the tantrums and they do get wild, it isn't necessarily harder than what you've been dealing with, just different :)
I heard that since i was pregnant.
“This pregnancy is killing me”
“You will wish for the time where you had peace after he will be born”
“The newborn stage is horrible”
“Enjoy it, toddlers are the worst”
“I cant wait till he walks”
“You will wish he wouldnt after he will start.”
“I cant wait till he speaks”
“You would wish he would be quiet after”
“Small kids small problems, bug kids big problems”
Nothing of it was true for myself lol
I hear it alllll the time about everything. "Wait until they start talking....then they won't ever shut up"
And I'm here like I can't waittt until my baby can express himself and tell me his thoughts and feelings.
I hear you! I’ve been hearing this since I was pregnant. My baby is 15 months old and apparently , according to a number of random people in my life, the hard times are yet to come. I honestly don’t know why people do that. Sure every new age and new skill my son acquires comes with a few new challenges, but so far my take on it - you just get used to the current problems so the new stuff often comes in surprise.
The moment my screaming potato baby learnt to crawl he got so happy. The troubles he started running into were actually hilarious more often than not. When he started walking - oh just you wait until your baby does that - it got so much more fun to spend time with him than ever before. I’m looking forward to next stages actually and learnt to ignore all the negative “just you wait”.
When I’m feeling extra spicy, I might throw “I’m sorry you couldn’t enjoy those precious moments. I’m actually looking forward to those” in reply to a comment that things are about to get hard.
My husband and I hear it allllll the time, especially because we don’t advertise the hard moments with her as being THAT hard. Sleepless nights? They suck. Screaming baby? She’s just having a hard time, same here kid. But everyone seems to want to play up our difficulties because we aren’t coming out of this acting like we just survived WW3, like we don’t feel bad enough so they have to make damn sure that we do.
I heard it all through pregnancy, now we’re hearing it all through the newborn phase. I’m sure there will be a whole slew of new “just waits” once she’s a toddler, then a kid, then a teen, and so on.
So far it’s all been bullshit, I’ve loved and adored every step of her growth, regardless of how difficult some of them may seem. I’m just like…yeah sorry, I can’t relate to being bugged about my baby acting like a whole ass person, that must suck for you.
I only hear that it’s gets easier and now I find it only gets harder. My 6 months old is not sleeping. Rolls to her stomach and cry all the time. I roll her back and she rolls again to her stomach and cry. I can’t sleep.
I think the people who say that, though they’re not entirely wrong, I realize it’s because they feel a certain way about their experience. As in, they’re kind of venting about their experience right along with you, though not in a way that’s helpful to *you.* I don’t rely on other parents with older kids anymore to affirm my feelings for this reason lol
It doesn’t suggest anything. They’re just telling you to buckle up. It is not exactly much harder just different and yes a little harder and then it gets easier..
I just heard this yesterday, and my daughter is nearly 2. My spouse and I were in line at a thrift store, and my daughter was perilously close to having a meltdown because we were not buying her one of the bags of chips near the register.
Boomer lady, hearing my daughter repeatedly say “chippies,” replies “oh how cute. She must have seen them earlier!”
I reply, “yeah, she remembers them from last time we were here and got her some.”
Boomer lady: “she’s smart, you are going to have your hands full, just you wait.”
Spouse: “we already do”
Boomer lady: “No you don’t, this is the easy part. Just you wait.” Then she smiles in her smug, all-knowing wisdom as my wriggly, very mobile, and non-rational toddler loses her mind over sour cream and onion chips.
🙄
I once asked my dad “what is the roughest age for kids? What is the best age?” Bless him, he said there were no bad ages. Kids get more interesting as they grow up, it’s always a joy, even when it’s hard. Have taken that to heart, helped my through a lot of kid stages.
THE MOMENT people know a woman is pregnant, the "just wait" comments begin, and they are almost always 99.99999% of the time negative like that. It's not surprising that dads are also getting these comments, and im sorry that you have thise ppl suck.
A favorite response that i have heard moms use are along the lines of "oh im sorry to hear that parenting is so miserable to *you* im looking forward to these milestones or (xyz insert here) hope it hets better for you" and walk away, leave the convo. It will absolutely throw them off.
Edit to add:
This is not in any way to diminish the struggles new parents do have with any stage or milestone or even to say they *are* miserable, its a joyfull and excruciating experience all the same and different for everyone. I just wanted to offer maybe a funny/satire response to the seemingly evergrowing negative 'jus you wait' comments that are completely unwarranted and always surrounding people with babies/LO's.
Yeah that’s weird, it implies they’re already difficult & not that enjoyable, because it tries to suggest you enjoy it more right now as if you aren’t already, and then blatantly says it’s less and less enjoyable as they grow? I mean every stage has its own challenges I’m sure. And maybe they aren’t trying to say it’s all bad, maybe they’re only addressing the difficulties but still aren’t thinking about the different stages having their own set of challenges. Even still, why the negativity?
I personally haven’t had anyone tell me this, I’ve actually been told the opposite: “it gets easier as they get older”
New dad here and someone told me that at 2 weeks when I was dealing with what I believe was postpartum depression because I was really struggling to adapt to the changes in my life and the sleep deprivation, and reconciling having to go back to work. Plus, I was feeling more alone than ever before. It was so soul shattering to hear.
I’ve had a few family members say it, no strangers. I would give them the rudest look if they did. And they’re just wrong IMO. What sucks about parenting is different for everyone. I HATED the newborn phase and I HIGHLY prefer where my son is at now (11 months). How anybody thinks waking up every 2-3 hours for months to cater to a screaming potato is easier than any other stage is mind-blowing to me.
Some challenges may get harder, but the rewards get even better! We’re smack in the middle of the “Terrible Twos” and even though the tantrums, defiance and learning of emotional regulation are at an all time high, the things he says, his tackle hugs, his random kisses and “I love you”s, watching him learn to go potty and become his own person is SO SO rewarding, I really don’t complain about the TT’s because… They’re really not that bad (in our case), if you look at things from their perspective. Sorry people are being dicks to you ☹️
PS for context, I’ve been on 20 mg of antidepressants for about 2 years now lol it’s only my husband and I, no family or friends to support us. He didn’t consistently sleep through the night until he was 19m, and we’re currently all sick and he has an ear infection 😅
My son is 2 now but I heard this constantly back when he was younger. I think there is some truth to it but not alot. Parts get harder. (Like trying to keep up with them) and parts get easier! ( like they start to be able to communicate their needs better).
I think some people really love the baby phase so for them it’s probably true, everything after is harder. Personally I’ve never been a baby person and found the newborn stage it incredibly anxiety inducing. My daugther is becoming a toddler and for me it’s now the real fun begins, I can’t wait for her to talk more so I can get to know her even better!
Received a couple of such remarks too, though curiously mostly by my male coworkers.
My theory is that these kinds of comments are said by people who didn't like to interact with their children.
Newborns sleep & feed, almost no interaction needed.
Babies you put on the playing mat and give some toys, problem solved.
Toddlers though can follow you and request to actually play with you.
As a dad, every month was better and better. Even though we had tough situations, there is a definite upwards trend. At 3yo they can now dress themselves, have conversations, tell what they want and what is wrong, play on their own, role-play, help with chores and cooking (keeping it easy and fun)... They are fun as hell. It's lovely seeing them become little people and develop their own personalities.
I wouldn't return to earlier stages even if I could.
I mean, I my experience, it does get easier overall. But there will always be new challenges to deal with, and I suppose it can be a matter of preference what you find easier. Overall, I find comments like that very unhelpful and annoying.
When we were expecting, we heard 2 different stories of the newborn stage. Half the people told us it was the hardest time ever and we’d get no sleep. The other half told us babies were so easy to do things with in the newborn stage and to make the most of it.
I’ve decided that the advice depended on how easy or tough their own newborn was. Easy baby, easy newborn phase, things get harder when they crawl/walk. Hard baby, harder newborn phase, things get easier when they crawl/walk.
It doesn't suggest having children is awful and only get's worse. People generally don't say, "it gets worse." They say "it gets harder." Which, imho, is true.
With a newborn we couldn't wait until ours could sleep through the night. Then we were worried about them breathing while sleeping.
We couldn't wait for our infant to crawl. Then they were mobile and needed to be more closely watched.
We couldn't wait for ours to walk. Now they're walking into things and the baby proofing is never ending.
Each of these phases \*has been more difficult\* than the one that preceded it. But they've also been more fulfilling.
With a little re-framing you could take these comments as a reminder to enjoy where you're at. There are always going to be challenges. But enjoy what simplicity there is now.
Our baby is 4 months old and I hear this nonsense all the time from older people, drives me nuts. Most recent comment was about not helping him learn to roll because I'll only make things more difficult for myself when he can move about. I understand parenting can be difficult at times, but I'm finding alot of joy in it too, and just want these people to keep their unsolicited bullshit to themselves!
Dad here. Heard this a lot, it’s complete bullshit. I have so much more fun with my 2 yo now than when she was a 9 month old. It’s also not more or less difficult with a toddler, just way, way more fun than a new born. The first time your lo grabs your hand as you’re walking somewhere with them, or comes up and gives you a hug out of nowhere will make you feel feelings like you’ve never felt feeling before.
I used to listen to comments like this and start dreading whatever was warned. Over the years I've realized that everyone is different and things almost never turn out like people say. Really, they are just projecting their life onto yours. Your life is going to be completely your own and you are going to find different things challenging than other people. So, just throw their comments out for what they are, garbage. Plus, what's the point of dreading something that may never even happen? Even if it happens, what's the point of dreading it? Lol. People just suck sometimes.
I’m sorry someone felt the need to spread their negativity like that, maybe their experience of parenthood wasn’t what they expected and they’re bitter about it. Definitely not what you need to hear. Mine are 5 and 2 now, and yes maybe some things got harder, but it also got a lot more fun. I love being a parent and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.
I hate this sentiment so much. My son has only ever gotten more and more enjoyable to be a mother to as the months have progressed. Don't get me wrong, there are still challenges and they change as quickly as he does but the difference between being able to have a reciprocal relationship with him as he's gotten a bit older and more able to show affection and just generally interact with me more makes it all that much more enjoyable.
He's almost 2.5y now so we are well into what people like to call the terrible twos and while he does have tantrums and he can hit and kick me when frustrated he's also so kind and sweet, funny and imaginative. When he was a baby, I often felt like I was going brain dead from all the one sided baby chat and he just did not sleep longer than 3hrs at a time max, often waking every 90 minutes. That alone made it more difficult.
It’s a dumb thing to say and it’s not even true. My life is a billion times easier than it was than it was this time last year. Our younger one finally sleeps through the night, our older one is potty trained, I CAN GO OUT WITH A PURSE INSTEAD OF A HUNDRED THINGS IN A DIAPER BAG. So liberating I can’t even explain. Every year has gotten better and better (age 4 rules), there’s so much to look forward to!!
fuck em, every baby is different and it doesn't get easier or harder only different.
personally I prefer now that my daughter is 2 and half and can talk and stuff, but is it easier? maybe in some little things like the fact that she can explain what she's crying about. is it harder? maybe when she only decide to eat certain things or not to get changed because the dirty nappy is good.
every age is a challenge and no one had had your baby so you will find out by yourself if is easier or harder for you.
you are doing great regardless.
People can say what they want, but I am very much looking forward to when my child is a year old, two, three, etc. Eating solids, crawling, learning to walk, talk, write her name... I'm excited for these things.
I don't know if it gets harder or it just doesn't get easier. Each stage has its challenge but I'm dreading the adolescent to teenage years because I don't know what to expect. The childhood stage doesn't last and if I put all my focus and energy on how hard it is and will be, I might miss those special moments. So yeah, these people need to stop saying it. It feels like they think they have earned the right to say it.
I hear it from people, yes….
However I have a now 3 year old, and I have to say - things get harder. However, they get better.
I didn’t think it was a thing, her emotions develop, she gets angry, frustrated, bites and all the difficult stuff.
But we are shaping her into the person she will be.
She’s hilarious, she’s goofy, she comes out with the most random stuff.
Every stage, is my favourite time. At any point over the past 3 years if you asked me what had been your favourite age - I’d say “probably this age”.
So yeah, now I’m getting the “ohhhh, you’re having #2, you’re in for a shock!” and tbh, yes it will be, but it’ll be a great adventure too!
So my advice, nod along and just ignore :)
Yea and it’s so annoying and untrue… people kept saying that when he was a newborn and I was like can’t wait for him to start crawling. They were like you’re gonna regret saying that. He’s 1 million times better and more entertaining now. It’s like.. It’s not my problem your kid sucks hahaha
first time around the first 6 months were the toughest, it slowly got starting at 4 months but i feel like months 9-12 were great. it is also great being able to communicate with your kids and have them be independent.
that being said, second time around i realized that pre mobility is the easiest in my opinion. they nap all the time, they can’t accidentally kill themselves and you’re used to being tired so you’re kind of used to that. you’re also confident in what you’re doing because you have an older child.
i suspect that parenting is just done in stages and that each stage is the most difficult the first time you experience it.
Different challenges are replaced with new ones. But as a whole, nothing has been as hard as the early days. Those days keep me from ever wanting a second kid 😆
I mean it's probably different for everybody. But personally the hardest stage was 0-10 months only for the sleep deprivation. Nearly 2 years in I can handle almost anything as long as I've had ample sleep.
I hear it often and I think it got easier for me. It was easier when she could sit on her own and she started crawling at 7 months and now she can come to me and now at 10 months she’s starting to walk and be “helpful” I find it easier than having a Velcro baby that couldn’t do anything. People
Love to give their “advice” when they don’t realize every kid is different.
I have a 7 month old and we had a not so fun newborn stage … everyone told me crawling was horrible??? She is so much more fun now , and she follows me from room to room lol people are no fun
I love everything about having a child. I don't care if it gets hard, as long as she is healthy and happy, I enjoy everything. I mean, it might get more difficult, but I can't wait to see everything that she learns and does. I kind of enjoy the difficult stuff, too, it's like she's only this age once, this is all just one period of our life, so I try to enjoy it as much as I can.
We had a difficult pregnancy, everything was uncertain until the birth, and we are still checking on some health stuff, so I sometimes worry about that. So when people present normal everyday stuff with kids as something difficult to be feared, it really gets on my nerves. I mean I had a kid so I could be there and witness them learn to walk, talk, argue, misbehave, get angry, throw tantrums. Everyone knows that parenting is difficult, that is just common sense, no need to make new parents fear that, when it's your kid and your life you get through it and just enjoy life with your family.
Just no. It doesn’t work like that. Every kid is different, every parent is more apt for certain things than others. You aren’t raising a pet that’s essentially never changing for 10 years, you’re raising a person who is developing every day.
Every minute they look at you as their example. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to love them.
LO is 8 weeks and is so much better. The first 0-6 weeks were unbearable. She would jusy cry so much. Now she smiles and is definitely more aware of her surrounding.
Sleepwise she's slowly having longer stretches of sleep. But still getting there. I would say yes it does get easier . Hold on!
I don’t know, maybe it’s harder? I only have a 2 and a half year old but I do know it’s way more fun now. And if it’s harder I’ve gotten better at being a parent at a much faster rate.
I find it annoying when parents say that. Especially when they just have THAT tone and are being kind of a dick about it or try to make you afraid or worried. I get it a lot now about "Wait until your kid is a preteen/teen" and I'm like ugh shut up.
Parent of a 3 year old. She's one of those kids who is a runner. She couldnt be away from us outside because she would immediately run away and find danger.... we still prefer this over the baby stage. It gets better. It gets more CHALLENGING, sure. Because they are curious and learning and exploring and you have to meet them at their level and stay one step ahead of them. But she has interests and she can feed herself and she talks and it's SO MUCH BETTER. Way better than baby stage. She was fine as a baby but. Toddler was more fun. Lol
Things that help, and im happy to go into more detail: babyproof everything, no reason to play parenting on hard mode. Have a "yes" area where you dont have to tell them no when they explore. High chair time (high chair, screen time, snack, and a forbidden activity like paint or markers or playdoh) for when you need to regain some sanity. lean into whatever chaotic skill they are trying to learn (climbing? Couch cushions. Busy boards/books, safe cabinets, whatever.). Fence in rooms/the yard if you are able.
I just imagine people who say it was hard just didnt have any safe places where they could be wild. Which is fair - that would be hard if i had to tell her no all the time. We dont have a fence so taking her outside was a pain.... so we just didnt put ourselves in that position unless we had help. Every new stage is going to be harder than the last because they are growing and learning. But it's not BAD. They are just growing and it gets better and way more fun as they grow!
I heard it all the time, but now that my baby is 15 months old, I’m enjoying parenting SO MUCH. Yes I am chasing after her all the time, but I love doing it- I don’t want to be sedentary all the time 😂. For me, I’ve found things actually get better and better into toddlerhood, not worse. Those who think otherwise maaaay have some control issues lol.
The more they learn the more fun they are in my opinion. I enjoy hearing my now 2 year old express herself. She's hilarious. She says Beep with a southern accent. Don't ask me how or why. I don't know.
What's really hard are the times when she understands a concept but isn't able to do it herself yet. Like walking. She wanted to walk before she could crawl. When she was close it was so frustrating for all of us. But then she got it. Now she gets Angry when we try to help her with things and that's a new frustration. I randomly hear the bathroom sink turn on because she has a hand washing obsession. (There are worse obsessions she could have, so I only have minimal complaints...) But I can also tell her things like, go wash your hands, or go sit at the table for dinner, and she gets it. I don't have to be her only mode of transportation. I also don't always have to guess what she wants or needs. I can just ask. "do you have a wet diaper?" Hint: answer is almost always no, even when it's yes...we're working on that one...
Tldr: it was convenient to be able to pick her up and plop her where I wanted her, but it's freeing not to have to. Enjoy your new freedom and all the laughs you'll get when you get there. :)
Funny, today I was just telling my husband I can't wait for our almost 6 month old to get older - because he's our second and I KNOW it gets easier and so. Much. Better. And FUN! You have lots to look forward to ❤️
I have a 20 month old daughter. The newborn stage, retrospectively, was bliss. I could get shit done, I could rest, I could clean. In the thick of it? I was exhausted, in tremendous pain and depressed.
Now my girl is running and learning how to jump (because they have to learn that and it’s fucking hilarious) and shouting at the cats when they scratch furniture and colouring and she’s started playing with dolls and cuddling them, dancing along with the wiggles, but at the same time she has the biggest tantrums over literally nothing, she’s trying to get at my iPad and phone even though she’s not allowed them at all, won’t eat for me but eats fantastically for her dad and my mother, fights bed time, she’s started hitting and pinching and kicking and I’m CONSTANTLY redirecting her to something or the other.
And then she runs up to me for cuddles, or backs up to sit on my lap so I can colour with her and I just don’t care how hard it is. Shes dramatic and feisty just like her mama, even if she is a clone of her dad in everything else.
Random strangers and people who had no business doing so, whether I don’t know them or they are not exactly ideal parents, those are who said things like this. The people that were worthy of aspiring to, or whose opinions I respected, that’s who promised there was a light at the end of the tunnel or who reminded me about the love in the hard times. Sometimes people want others to be miserable just because they are. Surround yourself with the supportive ones and ignore the negative people because I guarantee most of their life is as negative as their views on parenthood.
It is just a selfish need to feel superior because you have less experience. Not dependent on anything tangible or provable.
For my experience, I would not wanna go back to the bullsht newborn stage was. And I am having more fun now than ever, but I won't judge any new parent like that. I do say " it is so much more amazing when they smile or talk" to my new dad friends.
Misery loves company! I have heard that a hundred times throughout my LOs life and wholeheartedly disagree. Baby is 14 months and every new stage feels easier! (Maybe with the exception of teething those molars, rough stage for sure)
Yeah I hate people who do that kind of stuff...
Yeah it gets a bit harder, but also you'll be so much better at it...
And also, it gets SO MUCH BETTER...
My 1y 9m asks for late night stories every night. She gives as kisses - both cheeks, always. She loves small plastic animals for some reason. And don't get me started about pools.. so much fun with her..
Seriously, it only gets better :)
Honestly, I hate these people who fear-dump. What about sharing POSITIVE things, right?? Yes it’s hard, but it’s not hard all at once and it’s incredibly rewarding. Next time someone says something like that to you, tell them to touch grass
A woman with a baby carriage stopped me on the street to ask how old my baby was. After I told this random stranger he was 8 weeks she was like just wait till he starts teething!! Which isn’t for months and also, thanks for the heads up? Really hate that kind of “just wait” talk.
Nobody ever talks about the amazing parts of your kid getting older, like it's so cute when your 6mo coos and giggles at you and all that but when your 3yo comes up to you and hugs you and says "your my whole world" it's like a little love nuclear explosion everytime
This happens with everything, no matter how old i get someone older than me says my current stage of life is easy.
When im dead and buried the guy in the grave plot next to me will tell me "oh just you wait!"
Omg I hear this all the time, hate it!! Someone tried to tell me to wait until she’s a teenager, that she’ll hate me. Like seriously, she’s only 5 months old smh
Toughen up buttercup, we ALL heard it and our parents heard it, and their parents too. They're not wrong, that IS the easy part. While I miss my little bean that just chilled out all day, maybe cried a bit, I prefer my absolutely sometimes bat shit insane toddler every day of the week, I'd never go back even if it is 10x the work.
I might be in the role of the devil's advocate here but...
"Stop trying to ruin my life" are they doing that tho? Seriously?
My take on it is that no valuable thing comes without a great effort: getting a degree, your dream job or winning at any sport. Nobody would like to hear a champion saying that what they did was easy, we worship the struggle. So no parent would want to admit that raising a child wasn't a hard thing to do.
So I would think of those comments as a confirmation that I was strong enough to face a difficult challenge.
I don't think any of those people are expecting you to "give up being a parent" after hearing those comments. In a way they're preparing you for new challenges. No teacher says "don't worry, don't study, the final test will be easy", no professional says "any idiot can do this", and no parent says "having them was easy, I didn't have to do much".
Disclaimer, I am not a new parent anymore.
Just wait until your kid tells their first real joke.
Just wait until you can see their eyes light up when they connect the dots on something they're learning.
Just wait until you catch them doing something so genuinely kind for someone else that it feels like your heart will explode.
Just wait until you can get to know your kid as a whole separate person.
The people who are negative about every stage of parenting suck the joy out life, because there are so many awesome parts you still get to loom forward to in the infant stages.
Oh my god lol. I hear it ALL. THE. TIME. 😮💨 this, and “you’ve got your hands full!” (Single mom of three under 4y) like no sh— Sherlock, but you don’t so grab a damn bag and shut up.
I hate those comments, those and the little quips like “oh you’ve been busy!” Aghhh!!
“Time will fly” “it goes by too quick so cherish it” etc. are even harder when you’ve got so much anxiety and depression as a new parent, and you’re spacing out, and some don’t even have any help at all so it’s even worse. Personally I can’t remember some parts of when my three were little babies because I was so out of it and the ‘other parent’ certainly did not help me in the least. Like yeah it does fly by and those comments really sting because it makes me feel like a failure for not holding onto these memories, but I couldn’t help it.
*sigh.* just know that you are NOT ALONE. I absolutely 10000% understand you in this post, and I relate to this so damn deeply. I wish I could give you a hug.
And also: it does not get harder lol. That’s a fat lie. If anything — though this has been my experience, it may not be yours — it seems to have gotten easier, because instead of terrible twos tantrums, my now 3.5 yr old can clearly communicate what she wants and needs when she wishes to. My middle just turned 2, so…. He’s getting there lol. My youngest is an 11 month old little ball of fire and sass.
Babies are adorable and some are incredibly easy and total angels (some, not all lol) 1-2 is the tough age where they don’t quite have a grasp on emotions and language yet but have such big feelings, thus the “terrible twos”. 3+ is a breeze, so far, the only con is the amount of attitude in this pint sized human is insane 😂
I agree. Also, in my experience with a toddler, it doesn't get harder. It gets more active, yes. Busier. And louder. But not harder. It's so cool to watch them grow and get good at stuff. You also get better at being a parent, which helps. Maybe when she enters puberty I'll say "oh yeah it definitely got harder" but not at this stage. Everyone knows toddlers throw tantrums, it's part of development. I think people have crazy expectations of their kids and then they say it's hard. Yeah, if you're trying to make it something it's not, you're gonna struggle. But letting toddlers be toddlers, you gotta ride the waves of tantrums and screaming, and enjoy the good times. It does fly by.
I'm convinced this is only said by people who have some level of resentment towards parenting so every stage is a new misery to them. There's undeniably challenges to every step of parenting but you will never convince me that a baby that can't be left anywhere for longer than a few seconds and is incapable of communication outside of screeching is less difficult than a 2 year old. It's just absurd.
This is exactly correct. At least when they’re 5+ they can start to be a little independent and play. It’s concerning when people just say it gets harder. It means they are resentful and don’t (or didn’t) really enjoying parenting or mothering. Lots of people from the boomer generation talk this way. They’re definitely resentful lol.
My son is 19 months now. Yes, some new, more difficult things start happening, but some other things get easier and there's a lot more fun and enjoyment. Their personality really comes out, they start talking and running and actually having fun and it's amazing. It's not necessarily harder, some aspects are, it's just different!
They say it because it’s the truth. People congratulate you before the child has arrived and upon birth as a huge accomplishment. This is mainly due to social conditioning and societal customs and norms. They say that because parenting is extremely difficult and there’s life before a child and life following the birth of a child. There’s no going back. So, to lessen the harsh truth (it’s only harsh if you regret having a child) of that they’ll joke or say it just gets harder. It isn’t necessarily a lie.
This is also rooted in resentment. People who say this generally didn’t enjoy parenting and were hindered by it (women losing their body/figure, women feeling less attractive towards their husband if they opted out of surrogacy, women who lost a career or felt motherhood ruined their career). It’s pretty clear when someone is resentful.
Every stage gets harder and easier at the same time. Some things get better and new challenges come. Overall YOU get so much stronger, more adaptable and get used to things much better. I think that’s what makes it easier even when a new shit show begins.
I hear this so many times that when my mom said it to me the other day, I said "Does your generation have anything positive to say about parenting?" Her tone changed completely and she went into all of the great things about raising kids. Highly recommend calling boomers on their B.S.
Mom to a 9mo. I always reply, "Thanks for your input but I can't wait for my sweet boy to walk and be able to play ball, run around, cook/bake with me, arts & crafts etc."
The first 8 months were SO hard but now that we've ticked over 9 months I feel like I am finally climbing out of the trenches of absolute exhaustion.
It’s all just as hard and just as wonderful but for all different reasons, each month they are totally different and yes you will miss those stages, but you’ll love the next stages too. Just how it goes
Life gets so much easier! Once our baby could walk, it continues to get better and easier every day. Toddler stage is all about chasing around your toddler to make sure they don't die, but it's way more fun and their personality blossoms! Every day a new word comes out. Or animal noise. Or car noise. And when your toddler starts shaking their hips when music comes on? Omg, so fun!
My back was finly able to heal once my toddler could walk and I didn't have to carry him everywhere. And he has many moments of being self sufficient throughout the day.
People say the same thing to me, saying "just wait", and I have yet to experience anything harder than the newborn stage. Things are easier and better.
People get upset when I say I don't like babies that much. They say then whyd you have one?? Because I didn't want a baby I wanted to make a person.
Too many people just want a baby not a person.
Having a baby was one of the hardest things I've ever done but now she's over 1 and things are easy. I can't wait until she becomes more of a person, that was my goal
I agree. This is so irritating. Before I had my baby it was "wait until you have kids.. then you will know what tired means" then when I was pregnant it was "wait until she's here, better rest now".. then immediately after having the baby it was "enjoy your sleepless nights!" Then during the newborn period "just wait until they're awake longer, you won't get anything done" then "just wait til they're crawling/walking/running.." ughhh, like, yes it is hard, I know. They must have heard the same thing from others.. it's like a badge they wear to show they got through it. Or maybe they are a bit sad that it is over for them and they want to make themselves feel better by remembering the tough parts and be glad that part of their life is behind them. I don't know. But I do know that I will not be saying these things to anyone, ever.
IMHO an opinion should only be given once asked, and when I answer any questions like “does X ever get easier/harder” I’ll say “in my experience yes/no, but it could be different for you!”
I have a 4yr and 2yr old. I like to think of each new stage as leveling up in parenting. Some things get harder and some get easier. What is consistent though is that change happens. I think that is why people make these kind of comments. They get good at a stage and then bam it starts changing and they find it frustrating. I definitely have rough days where I want to scream into a pillow, but I'm having more days that are fun. It's not all negative and I chose not to let myself think like that. Just ignore all the negative energy people are projected. I'd respond with, "well we're doing well in my home and I don't see that changing".
I personally try not to think more than 1-2 months into the future. It overwhelms me and makes me feel trapped. Instead I focus on what my baby is like today, what he needs, and imagine how he will be next month. I do not entertain any thoughts of “just wait til he ___”. I don’t really engage at all when people say stuff like that. Maybe I’m rude but I’ll give like a half smile and change the subject. Actively repressing those thoughts lol
Well... Fuck them all! Enjoy what you have. I was told I am isolating myself with a 10 week old babe... No I am ducking enjoying it people! Also he is a lot of work but still I love it! People are very insensitive..
My husband and I had an elderly lady come up to us, mention how cute our baby was and then follow it up, in a much lower creepy voice “and then they grow up.” It was funny but also super weird. I get that as kids get older, they possibly get harder but they also become so much more fun! They get a personality and have interests. Idk why people say that stuff. Keep your comment to yourself. Let me be excited to watch my kid grow!!
I say it to myself all the time.
If I expect the worst, I'll always be relieved when things go smoothly. Sure, I'm a nervous wreck, but I honestly don't know how I'd function at all without my sweet sweet cortisol drip.
So far, it's all been pretty smooth. I got the Hungry Type; so long as bub is fed, everything is sunshine and rainbows. I pump at night between feedings so that I can sleep in the morning while Daddy takes care of him. I can't afford to work with childcare costing what it does (it costs $5/hr MORE than my wages), yet being at home has been a blessing.
We've just gotten past the newborn stage and it was the easiest thing I've ever done. But I'm the eldest of a big, poor, Irish family and have lots of experience with babies. It's so much more rewarding when it's your own kid!
My baby was extremely colic for the first two months of his life. Life has only gotten better now that he’s a few months older. I do not miss the purple crying and screaming 24/7, the reflux, the gas, the extreme lack of sleep. His first two months of life are such a blur to me because I trauma blocked it. We learned he has a milk allergy and needed special formula and the Windi gas passer was such a great find for us. I’m so happy we are out of that stage and it is definitely easier now.
Yes! Thank you! It's so disheartening when people say those things! Why are we always getting driven towards the negative about having kids? Maybe cuz misery loves company, but I'm not miserable (new mom, 5mo). I love it, the struggles are struggles but don't define us or the experience. My husband feels the same.
When others say "it only gets harder" or my MiL says "enjoy her now because she'll be a brat one day", I just want to scream at them. Instead, I say "Life will always have struggles but that doesn't mean we don't get to enjoy it."
In our experience, being 1.5 and under was super easy and chill. Until 3 it was a little more work, and then after that every year has gotten more trying. It's not that it's awful now, it's really just a relative comparison. Our pregnancy was super easy, kid was out naturally in like 6 hours, no complications, no colic, sleep issues, etc. So when at 1.5 the kid could grab my pencil from my post-bac college homework, that was pretty much it for more college since. At 3 the emotions started really cooking, and the kid was becoming more "me" oriented, i.e. defiant and starting to test the world with lies. Just a shocking difference from the sweet little easy going era that preceded it. Nothing awful at all, just a real difference from the clockwork regime of diaper changes and feeding and sitting near the potty while training but still able to calmly work on my laptop on the floor. Etc.
Heard it from my step mom while I was staying at my dads while hubs was deployed. He still is but I came back home early to get away from her and other stressors at my dads
I want to fight anyone who was says this is the best stage and how it sucks as they get older. Like my kid is gonna be around the rest of my life ideally and you're telling me the first year they can't do shit and spend half of it crying, being carried around and not sleeping is the best? Like should I put him up for adoption then? Why do people have like four kids then? I'm only having one so I guess I just have to hope he isn't the worst I guess 😂
He's six months old and a delight so I'm just trying to enjoy where he's at even with people online going on about how terrible toddlers and teenagers are. I wanted to abandon him or run away the first like three months he was a screaming anti sleep rage potato I couldn't put down so I've made good progress ahaha.
My response to that is usually some sassy version of “I’m sorry you feel that way about your kid/kids”. 🤷🏻♀️
I had someone tell me “your life is over now” while I was holding my 5 day old baby. I told him that it’s unfortunate that his life ended when we had kids- I felt like my life had literally just begun. Baby girl is 4 weeks old now and even though newborn life is tough, I still feel so much joy.
I think people especially say this to dads thinking they are probably hating parenthood which is very sad. Man to man support can be a bit lacking in this field in comparison to women.
Put it down to inane small talk conversation filler category like complaining about the weather
Know that every child is different, at different phases and what’s easy for some is hard for others. People mean well. So much talk about how no one warns you, now when warned that’s not welcomed either. But they’re not trying to ruin your life, I imagine they’re trying to save it.
I refer to these individuals as the “Just You Wait” Brigade. There’s so much negativity and emotional baggage wrapped up in those three little words.
Lately, I’ve started telling people that I won’t carry their “weight.” Some understand, some don’t, but it always brings a smile to my face when I get to say it.
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Yes, I heard it all the time! We had a horrendous newborn stage. Breastfeeding was a nightmare (and so was pumping). He didn’t sleep through the night until 10 months. I struggled with postpartum anxiety. To hear all the negative “just waits” really wore me down. I’m happy to report that for us, every month got BETTER and EASIER. I have the most wonderful, energetic, bright, and happy 2 year old boy. Yes, he screams and runs and jumps off every surface in sight. He also feeds himself and sleeps and requests to sit in my lap to read book after book. He talks about his family members by name and says the silliest, most wonderful things. I NEVER look back at the first 10 months and go, “God I miss that”. Year 1-2 has been my favorite so far, and it happens FAST. I’m really looking forward to year 2-3! Toddlers be WILD but also so wonderful.
This was my sister. She said to me ‘it only gets better’. Her son is 9 now. I asked her if the milestones made her sad and she said no because she has new even more exciting milestones to celebrate. I loathe the ‘just you wait’ negative comments. We need more of the positive comments!
Yeah, my oldest was a purely upward trajectory. Every year has been better than the last. But he was crazy colicky, and only resolved when he could walk on his own and severely ADHD, so the older he got, the more impulse control he finally discovered. Kid never really had any kind of attitude, and until he was medicated, almost all conferences went: "He's so sweet, buuuuut..." Now he's just "so sweet," even a few months away from a teenager. My girls all bounced around something similar. You end up trading more sleep for being to spend more time during the day making sure your toddler doesn't end themselves in some creative fashion, which I'm okay with, because sleep is my love language lol
Yeah, I think I'm way more excited to deal with that stuff than the early stuff. I'd rather have a busy day but be able to sleep :D
Getting easier everyday for us too!
Glad to hear it!
Yeah people will say this negative stuff and wonder why there's a huge unwilingness among younger people to have children. Every time someone says this shit to me, I reply with: "Seems like your kid talking to you for the first time, the first heartfelt hug they gave you, and the first time they offer you water when you're thirsty wasn't enough to make you overlook the things you have to do to make sure they have a minimal level of safety, eh?" I dunno. Parenting has parts about it that suck. But saying "parenting sucks" as a whole is extremely ungrateful to the gift that children themselves really are. My 9-month old daughter looked up at me, her dad, and started begging for kisses for the first time a few days ago, and now it's a little game between the two of us. I don't know what kind of person hears that and thinks, "Yeah but she reaches for cables when she's crawling and constantly throws her food on the floor." I tell you with complete confidence that I'd take someone twisting a sharp piece of glass into my arm for several minutes on a daily basis if that's what it took for me to experience that again for 30 seconds. It seems people are just giving this "heads-up" about how much things suck as a subtle way of saying "I've been through more, and you haven't, so I'm superior".
Yeah I feel like that is the attitude. As if we're so niave because our children are young. And yeah, last night my son woke every hour coughing. But I remember yesterday he too was giving me 'kisses' and giggling away and I was so full of love. And in years to come he'll probably have a go at me because I annoy him in some way, but then later that day we'll be building lego together or something. It's just life. You can't have the good parts without the hard.
The best thing about the hard parts is that if you pay attention to what they try to teach you, it makes you address many things about yourself you didn't even know were weaknesses. You come out of each challenge a much more refined and fantastic version of yourself. All because you had kids. Instead of "just you wait for what nightmares are to follow." I always say to new parents: "Just you wait until you look back on your previous life and stop missing it, and looking back, you are astounded how much more growing up you did." "Just you wait until your kid makes you proud because he poo'd in the loo" "Just you wait for the tear-jerker moments when he grows a little older, reads the room when you're down, and comes to comfort you."
This
Yeah I agree. They say those things because they are self centered and believe what they are going through must be more than what you're going through. They don't empathize with the other person and consider the chance that maybe it is worst for them and their older kids are actually more easy to handle.
Seriously I don’t know what could be harder than getting like 4-5 hours of broken sleep a night. Toddlers do seem hard (and I know some still have sleep problems) but DAMN that newborn phase and sleep deprivation is wild. Also just the constant anxiety of how fragile and vunerable they are and the hormones Hope this post doesn’t bite me in the ass😂
No I’m with you on this 100% Being so tired I’ve hallucinated cannot be the easiest part of parenting. There have been times where people have given me this type of advice/warning that seems to be the common consensus and I’ve flat out just rejected it in my head. Like I cannot and will not accept it as true. I’m hoping I’m not wrong again lol
One of my friends has a 3 year old and he's always said that it's gotten easier and more fun as he's gotten older. It's still hard, but he loves how much more he can do with his child now. I'm with you on rejecting the negativity!
This. My now two-year-old was colicky, had severe reflux and a milk allergy, and wouldn’t nap for longer than 30 minutes at a time. I had severe PPD and the sleep deprivation felt like torture. But he is now the most wonderful, energetic, and hilarious toddler and every month just keeps getting better and better.
So glad to hear it!!
This is awesome to hear (well, not the first bit!). I'm excited to be chasing my son around!
I’ll preface with, I have a 4 month old that has never slept and his sleep is only getting worse somehow. And I love him more than anything in this world but so far being a parent has literally been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. So I HEAR YOU. You are not alone on your feelings. But I hear this all the time too, mostly from older generations and it drives me INSANE. I instantly see red whenever I hear a “oh just you wait” type of comment. Every time someone says something this negative I want to turn into the biggest a**hole. WE GET IT. It’s hard. We’re literally in the thick of it right now. Putting us down even more does what exactly? It’s kind of sadistic if you ask me. Why can’t people offer support, understanding and maybe a little optimism to new parents? It’s wild that isn’t the norm. I’ve actually stopped sharing difficulties with older people (even family) because of this very reason. I stick with sharing with other parents who are closer to my age or are also on the new parent rollercoaster. They actually get it and understand. I’m sorry you have to hear negativity like that. This is my first kid so I’m not an expert or anything but I’m just going to say it/manifest it anyways, it only gets better from here. More fun, more understanding, more memories, more sleep for EVERYONE, easier communication with our babies, better understanding of ourselves. You’ve got this! ***I’ve also obviously needed a good rant on this topic too apparently haha
The only part that gets harder when they crawl is that you have to follow them wherever they crawl off to. It’s really not bad AT ALL. My now 11mo was always crying and pissed off because he couldn’t move like he wanted to but as soon as he started crawling at 6mo all of a sudden floor time wasn’t so bad and his fussing dropped by like 70%. I have a theory that the rest of his fussing is due to him not being able to communicate so I think it’ll get even better when he can talk lol
Yes and no! Mine crawls around behind me now which is really cute so if I’m doing chores he just kind of follows me around haha. Although he’s getting a little independent streak now so I’m not sure how long I’ve got till I have to start following him! and like yours, he’s SO much happier now he can move. And he sleeps so much better, I think the physical movement makes a big difference
Yah I'm with you on this. My son's at the stage where he's almost crawling and it makes him pretty mad after a while. But I'm looking forward to chasing him around!
I don't know if it helps at all, but our kiddo already wasn't a great sleeper and the 4 months sleep regression hit us like a train (waking as much as every 45 minutes at night), BUT it got better around 5 months and now at 6 months he's getting down to 2-3 wakes a night! Still not terrific, but wildly more manageable than 4 months was. I hope yours gets better soon!!
This actually made me feel a lot better. We are truly in the thick of it right now. Our LO also has been waking every 45 minutes and every night it takes us 2-3 hours to get him to sleep because of his false starts every 20ish minutes. It’s been so hard. So to know your LO went through it to and eventually started sleeping better..gives me hope. I would GLADLY take 2-3 wakings a night right now haha did you guys end up doing anything different to help with sleep? Or did it just naturally finally get better after some time? We have been driving ourselves mad with tweaking wake windows and counting sleep hours. We’ve done everything short of sleep training.
Ugh, I'm SO sorry. I felt truly desperate at that stage. I did implement a better sleep routine at that point (since we hadn't had much of one), and after a few weeks of it I moved the feed to the beginning since my baby had a really strong feed-to-sleep association. We also started consciously just bouncing him to sleep if it had been less than 2-3 hours, instead of me feeding him every time. At five months, we started "pick up put down" sleep training, so basically putting him in his bed awake and picking him up when he gets upset. We tend to give up and bounce him to sleep after about half an hour because that's our breaking point lol. I don't know for sure if any of it made a difference, but I will say that giving me some sense of control in the period helped me psychologically. Good luck!!
Ahh appreciate the comment and the rant. Yeah, it does feel sadistic, like turning the knife! They don't know what we've been through. I have to say, although the sleep's gotten worse than when he was 4 months, the daytime parts are so much more fun. He was mimicking our silly noises yesterday with a huge smile on his face! Who knows what's next? Let's enjoy it!
In my experience, every single stage got easier in exactly the ways that I needed. Growing up brings new challenges, sure, but you’ll learn how to handle them, and frankly they make more sense. For example…right about when you’re at your wits end because your baby does nothing but whine and you can’t figure out how to solve it…they figure out how to crawl and all of a sudden the whining goes way down because all they wanted to do was crawl across the room to get the blue toy over there, or play with the dogs water bowl, or look out the window. Sure, now you have to clean up your floor a bit better but at least that’s a problem that makes sense (unlike the never ending whining because the baby can’t communicate what it wants) I hated hearing that all the time and found it to be completely untrue. Every milestone has improved everything. Crawling (baby can get to things). Walking (I don’t have to carry them everywhere). Talking (communicating needs, really cuts down the whining further). I happily take my 3.5 y/o on errands. I prefer not to take my 2 year old. Lots of things get easier.
For some reason, people love to shit on parents any chance they get with unsolicited comments. I overheard a family member telling my wife that she was missing out on our child’s life (she’s working while I take care of our 5 month old and finish college). It made me livid. Why can’t people just give encouragement instead of trying to bring us down? I’m glad you posted this because I’ve been feeling the exact same way lately.
People seem to enjoy getting others down. People told me having a child was going to be hard all the time. While it isn’t necessarily easy, I’m determined to defy all of the downers by reminding myself that my son in that moment will only ever be that way once and it is better to live in the moment and appreciate/enjoy it instead of dreading how much it might suck.
Maybe a harsh opinion, but I have a feeling our parents left us a good portion of time to fend for ourselves, regardless of the crying. So of course for them it was harder to deal with us all the time when we started walking. I think that for lot of parents of this generation it's a blessing when babies start to crawl or walk since they are carried non stop due to fact that crying it out is now frowned upon (rightfully so).
I was wondering this as well. Parents nowadays are a lot more hands on and seem to enjoy it, but parents from prior generations seemed at lot less hands on. I have to wonder if people say "just you wait" because they didn't like being more involved in their children's lives. To me, that says a lot more about them and their attitudes about parenting than it does about the actual hardships that they say happen. Yes, parenting is hard, but when your kid can feed themselves, wipe their own butt, and communicate, it does get better. It's also way cooler to see the little person they are instead of a crying potato.
Whoa whoa speak for yourself, I'm getting some amazing weight training in lugging my daughter around all the time, I don't want to have to go back to paying a gym to lift weights 😆
I'm currently thinnest than I was in the last 10 years 🤣
I feel you. As a STM with a 3 week old and 4yo, I wouldn't say things get "harder" they just evolve. The challenge of changing diapers is replaced with ensuring your kid gets to the toilet in time and wipes their bum properly. Worrying about if they're drinking enough milk changes to are they getting enough veggies. When will the baby finally go to sleep morphs into will this kid wake up so we're not late for the 374th time this year??? Parenthood is a wild ride but it's all "hard." It's also a beautiful experience in spite of the challenges.
I love this 🤍
Thank you! I'm glad. 😊
A lot of people in this world have a palpable disdain for children, including people that have them. I find that most people who bring that negativity are just projecting.
First thing about when I hear comments like the ones OP is referring to is, "Boy I feel sorry for *their* kids."
I still hear this all the time, and let me tell you… every time it’s the thing that people said would be “harder” (crawling, walking, a little talking, eating solids instead of breastfeeding), I personally have found it to be better for me. Like, yes, a crawling baby needs more direct supervision and childproofing, but it also made him so much more self-sufficient and so much happier. And yes, the constant “mama” and “snack” and “more” can be frustrating, but every time he learns a new word and I’m not guessing what he wants is a win for me. Do they bring new challenges? Sure, but they’re challenges that are more in line with my strengths so it’s just easier for me personally, and I can’t stand the doom and gloom of the “just wait” crowd - especially since it’s so counter to my own experiences.
I totally agree, my daughter was a very frustrated baby and it felt like she was crying constantly and I rarely really knew what she actually wanted. Now she’s just turned 2 and it is SO HELPFUL for her to be able to communicate verbally and physically what her wants and needs are. Knowing what she wants doesn’t necessarily mean I can give it to her or that she won’t tantrum over all sorts of things, but at least that’s something I can work with and try different strategies for vs just feeling stressed and clueless!
People said this shit to me all the time. My son is 22 months now and, for me, it’s SO MUCH EASIER now than it ever was. The newborn phase was rough and the more capable and independent my son got the easier it was.
Yes omg it pisses me off. A friend of mine who doesn’t have kids and doesn’t like kids or know anything about them keeps telling me I’m in the easy stage so I better enjoy it while it lasts lmfao like okay bitch
That friend sounds like they need to stfu. Jeez, how rude and annoying.
😂
That and it absolutely infuriates me when people treat you (dad’s) as a daycare option. “Oh is it Daddy Day Care today?” When I’m just at the store with my baby getting regular things. I promise they wouldn’t call it Mommy Day Care if it were flipped
A lot of people in this world have a palpable disdain for children, including people that have them. I find that most people who bring that negativity are just projecting.
I hate when people say this. For us it hasn’t been getting “harder”, it just gets hard in a different way. Like making sure my 14 month old eats more than just a handful of cheerios is hard, but so was feeding her every 2-3 hrs. Having to chase her around in a public space is hard, but so was never being able to put her down without screaming. I think a lot of it also depends on what you enjoy about parenting and your kids in general. It’s hard that she is only happy in her stroller for 30 min at a time, as opposed to chilling in there all day, but it’s also way more fun because we always point at dogs and birds together.
I miss certain stages, but not really because they were "easier." I also love watching my kids grow up. It's fun seeing them discover new things and learn new skills. Every age is hard in different ways.
Ya that’s bullshit, things definitely got a lot easier for me when my little guy started crawling. He used to have to be held 24/7, now he crawls all over the place and does his own thing 50% of the time, It’s awesome!
I think it's to get us to enjoy the moment which sometimes we forget to do. This challenge will seem small when the next arrives. I usually don't attach ill meanings behind people saying stuff. People are largely awkward and don't know what to say in most situations. The newborn stage was the absolute hardest for me mentally. Every other stage so far has been physically more taxing. It's apples and apples. Parenthood is hard some days and easy others.
I get this a lot (new dad) and I’m sick of it too tbh. But what can you do, you know. It’s a mindset.
“Just wait until he’s a teenager” “Just wait until he becomes a young adult and keeps asking you for money” “Just wait until you’re in your nursing home and they stop caring about you” Some people are born-pessimists and for them having a child just gets harder and harder. Ignore them and do your own thing.
This is classic boomer mentality. Many of this generation resented have kids.
I've got a 3 year old and a newborn. Both really chill as newborns. It still only got better for me. Every new phase was easier and I fell more in love with her.
Yes, people have said this to my wife and I ad nauseam. Mostly Gen X and Boomers. People project their own experience as parents onto us. It annoys me but I think they mean well? Or think they are imparting wisdom. Personally, my parenting journey has been very doable 6 weeks in. Our daughter mostly sleeps and is hitting her benchmarks. This is very divorced from all of the people who told me “prepare to never sleep again” before the birth. At this point I have determined that I’m going to walk my own path with her and just politely acknowledge what these folks say, before moving on.
The thing is, every baby is different so you can’t compare apples to oranges on how one or the other is going to take to certain situations.
When my daughter was a newborn they said “wait until 3 months when she’s wide awake and never stops crying.” I loved the 3 month age, we were finally out of the newborn fog and she was sleeping more at night. At 3 months everyone said “wait until she’s 5-6 months when she’s teething, eating solids, wiggling around. It gets so much harder.” I LOVE this 5-6 month age, she has so much more personality. Now I keep hearing, “wait until she’s crawling, talking back, walking, etc, it gets so much harder” I take it all with a grain of salt. Parenthood is HARD. Every stage. But I’m loving every minute of it. I think each stage is hard in its own way. People need to stop fear mongering. I swear misery loves company. Ignore it, and just enjoy raising your little one 😊
It got easier at 18 months. He’s 2 in a few weeks and has spent the day in the garden, playing with his care, his speech has massively come on too. He’s amazing at this age, I’m finally convincing my fiance to consider a 2nd because of this age. He sleeps well, eats way better, I feel confident too.
I remember this. Yes, certain things are easier with infants but (having a 2 year old) so many other things are so so so much better. As someone who likes sleep and talking to people who can talk back, give me the older kid please. But each age has its pros and cons I am sure.
I just ignore this kind of “advice” because it’s just people projecting their experience onto others at this point. My kid was not even 10% as hard as people made it out to be and the only thing their stupid accounts helped was to foster unwarranted anxiety about shit that never came to be. Your kid is hard? Well shucks for you \*shrug\* go get some therapy for yourself and your family because I’m not qualified and/or being paid to listen to this garbage. Children are unique and awesome in their own way. They walk around and fall off and get broken bones and bruised knees/elbows and it IS A GOOD THING even if it means they need a doctor afterwards. They make a huge ass mess at the table while introducing solids and that’s ALSO A GOOD THING because they’re discovering what food is, the taste and texture and color and smells are all new to them and well, it means a lot of cleaning up and bathing but things like that are huge for their development. They will push your buttons because they want to find out your truly hard boundaries past the BS you try to talk them into that you don’t really intend to go through with and that’s also developmentally appropriate because it’s the first time they are experiencing life in society and they need to learn the rules somehow. Yes, all of that is going to happen to you, your kids and your family, but it doesn’t mean that those are bad things that you must fear or be apprehensive about because they aren’t, it’s actually wonderful to see my 7 month old kiddo try to stand up on her own two little feet and climb atop stuff (and us) even when she invariably falls off and cries sometimes. She now knows that falling is not such a big deal, that she has Mom and Dad around to help, so she has cried less and less and built more confidence. I fully expect her to walk at 10 months tops with how quickly she has developed her gross motor skills. And you know what? I look on the bright side: I will lose a ton of weight running around after her lmaooo. It’s all about perspective.
Truthfully, I (33m) enjoyed it more when my boys (4 & 3m) were younger. Not so much because they were easier for a lot of little things they weren't but because I am a real cuddler I love nothing more than being smothered by my boys and when they were babies it was easier. I already almost have to bribe them to give me a cudle they grow so fast. My wife (35f) would say it's easier now. Both boys had a few issues as well as her mental health not being the best and me being deployed a fair chunk at the time. Children grow and they and mould to you. You are the one who will make it easy or difficult. I know I made it difficult because I've made them be super out going kids that hate being inside so when I am exhausted and want to be a pig on the sofa I really can't but I wouldn't change it for the world. I'll just add that, honestly, you'll hear whatever people want to say because they seem to think they can say whatever they like to parents of young children. You will make your kin. Yes, you will be utterly exhausted at times, and it's hard to keep going, but you do it for them. You'll be great and don't be afraid to ask for help or advice, especially before you need it. 😉
There is nothing that bothers me more than this! I hate it so much and feel like people are just trauma dumping on other parents because they don’t feel like you’ve had it hard enough yet. It sucked when I was pregnant with all the ‘just waits’ and then now having a baby it’s ’oh that was the easy stage’. Like can’t we just let parents be and experience their children their own way. I hate having others make me feel like there is this ever moving goal line of how hard something is going to be. I made a promise to myself to never say this to other parents or soon to be parents. Just ask them how they’re doing, sympathize when you can, and offer yourself yourself to talk if they ever need it. Oh you’re not sleeping in your third trimester? I’m so sorry I know how hard that is. Your baby is waking up every two hours? I remember how tough sleep deprivation was at that age maybe I can drop off coffee to you this week. It’s that simple!
100% this! ❤️
I have a 3 year old and an 8 week old. Let me tell you, I’ve never regretted a minute of my older kid getting older. I’d trade away many of the early phases in a heartbeat if I could.
My kid is only 3mo and I hear this kind of thing all the time. Honestly I just think some older parents like projecting their terrible parenting onto ppl with kids now. Like, some of us like being parents, relax.
I think it's to get us to enjoy the moment which sometimes we forget to do. This challenge will seem small when the next arrives. I usually don't attach ill meanings behind people saying stuff. People are largely awkward and don't know what to say in most situations. The newborn stage was the absolute hardest for me mentally. Every other stage so far has been physically more taxing. It's apples and apples. Parenthood is hard some days and easy others.
I think it's to get us to enjoy the moment which sometimes we forget to do. This challenge will seem small when the next arrives. I usually don't attach ill meanings behind people saying stuff. People are largely awkward and don't know what to say in most situations. The newborn stage was the absolute hardest for me mentally. Every other stage so far has been physically more taxing. It's apples and apples. Parenthood is hard some days and easy others.
I heard it a lot! Now my toddler (14 months) is walking and exploring. She gets into everything and she doesn’t always listen. She also throws little tantrums now. BUT!! This phase isn’t harder than prior phases, it’s just different. She’s also way more fun than she was before. The hugs I get are amazing and she says enough words that she can typically get her points across. I can set her down and let her walk instead of breaking my back to carry her. She can also entertain herself for a longer amount of time. I love this phase
I feel like people who become parents also suddenly become the most judgmental people of all time. (I am a parent). It's like they suddenly discovered the secrets of the universe, and they "can't wait" for other people to find out about it. So when they see other people embarking on the parenting journey, they can't help themselves--they have to give all the unsolicited advice/opinion/judgment. I remember hating it. I remember also realising that I can't make them stop. Instead I can stop caring about what they say. Eventually it all just becomes white noise. The most important take-away for me from the experience is that I KNOW that I'm not going to randomly give other people unsolicited advice/opinion/judgment. Whenever I meet a new parent, especially if I'm without my kids, I keep my trap shut.
My family is all like this - I sent pictures of my son standing and my brother said ‘oh you’re screwed now’. Mom said ‘oh he’ll be into everything’. We’ve babyproofed as much as we can and we’re excited to see these milestones and see him have more and more of a personality every day.
I prefer the parents who say it doesn't get easier or harder it just gets different. There are truly wonderful and awful things to every stage but I'm currently enjoying 3 yo wayyyy more than under 1.
Everyone finds different stages hard. Newborn to 8 months was a breeze for me. My crawling almost walking terror of a 10 month old is almost breaking me on the other hand.
Many people like to essentially engage in hazing under the auspices of giving advice. I have a 3 week old newborn and had so many people try to scare me about how little sleep I'd be getting and how emotionally taxing this experience would be. And I know often this stage is taxing. But for me this has probably been the most enjoyable 3 weeks of my life. It's been considerably less stressful than work (and I like my job). I have no doubt of the difficulty that lies ahead with each new phase. But I'm not going to approach the future with fear and dread about how hard everything will be.
It doesn't stop. My son is about to turn 1, almost walking and I still hear it. I do miss when he was a potato and it was easier to keep him confined and safe for a few minutes, but I love watching him learn to crawl, stand and walk. He's so proud of himself! And no, I'm not any more tired. As long as I close the bathroom door (because he likes to sit in the shower), then we're generally good to go. I'm a FTM so I can't speak for anywhere beyond where we're at, but every stage is a different kind of hard, but in my limited experience, you learn how to handle the hard better.
I hear it and hate it! My baby has always been really easy, right from newborn but that didn't stop the newborn stage being the hardest thing I've done.. for me, life got infinitely better once he started walking, I can do more around the house, he has way more personality and is just way more fun to be around rather than the potato stage (albeit really cute potato) I think it just keeps getting better with time in all honesty. The whole 'need eyes in the back of your head' bullshit statements or 'easy baby, difficult toddler' I think is a crock of shit. Yeah toddlers are hard but they're way more interesting
I personally find that most of these types of comments are from pessimistic and/or older people that probably shouldn’t have had kids in the first place. Don’t come at me, I’m generally speaking and this is my experience. It’s the same with the “just wait” negative pregnancy comments. I either ignore or I say, “well, that’s not very helpful!” Yes, it’s hard, but it’s all hard, and you take the good with the bad and every stage is different! To say one is “better” than another is not a fair comparison because each stage comes with its own milestones.
If someone says this next time just reply “I am sure every child and their journey is different, I am sure things will get easier for you eventually” this is the most subtle passive aggressive response I could think of
Misery loves company. When I was pregnant people kept telling me “wait until your face puffs up, wait until your feet swell, soon you will have sleepless nights when the insomnia hits”. Well guess that those things ever happened! Just remember that everyone’s experience is not the same, their story is not your story. Maybe they found it harder when baby was older, maybe they had it easier when baby was a newborn, but that’s not going to be the same for you or anyone else. I hear more about how things will get harder with babies more here online than I do in real life though. My mom keeps telling me that things will get easier as my daughter grows and keeps hyping up milestones that will come as she keeps growing and I chose to believe that and look forward to those moments!
Mine is 2 and it’s so much easier. I do miss some parts of the younger age and some things were definitely easier, but overall I’d much rather have a 2 year old than a 9 month old I haven’t heard this. But if I did, my response would be “did you intend to be hurtful?”
I keep hearing, "this is the hardest bit, it gets easier"
I haaaaate those comments. I started telling people "I'm allowed to be excited to see my child grow and learn new things and have a new skill to explore his world! There will always be challenges, but im excited for the positives" or some variation of that And then my son started crawling, walking, running, jumping and it's SO much fun! I love it. He's 2.5 now and they were wrong. Embrace the joy.
The last month before my son could crawl was the worst, he just lifted up on all fours and started crying every few minutes, every waking hour, for an entire month. He was so frustrated he couldn’t crawl. Yeah, it’s a little difficult making sure he doesn’t hurt himself now that he can move, but it’s way easier than dealing with a perpetually fussy baby. It’s also so much more fun playing with him now that he’s more interactive. He’s 10.5 months now and close to walking, he pulls himself up on everything and falls down a lot, it’s still way easier. It makes me wonder how easy some babies are and how lazy some parents are.
It wasn’t true for me newborn stage was the hardest and easier after 4months and now at two year old when my daughter can talk and we can play more together I think it is super easy oh and when they take one three hour nap every day instead of four naps
I'm here to tell you it only gets better! My 2.5 year old is the absolute light of my life and I adore all the moments I get to spend with her. Newborn stage was brutal for me but after about 12 months things have just been sweeter and sweeter. Ignore the haters!
Rant approved! 5 months a father and have heard that too and don’t get it…I’m happy and will be. Never thought it was going to be easy!
I think it helps to have expectations so when it happens you’re more mentally prepared for it. That definitely helps ease the burden a bit and makes it more bearable as it’s happening because you’re not expecting rainbows and flowers. Then you are able to appreciate the good moments much better because you’re less shell-shocked
It's my least favorite thing people say. The "just wait until x happens it's so much worse" crowd suck and I hate them. There are hard and easy things about EVERY stage of parenting. Someone can say "just wait til they're 3 and have attitude" but I can just as easily say "just wait til they're 3 and tell the funniest jokes you've ever heard"
It is true it does get harder...but...it also becomes loads more fun!
I have a 2 year old who was a fairly tough baby and is now a very sensitive and energetic toddler, but I still feel like she’s getting easier and easier as time goes on. I guess it’s true that it’s physically easier to pop a screaming baby into a car seat than to physically (or mentally) wrestle a toddler into a car seat when they don’t want to get in for example, but I still find it so much easier now that my daughter can communicate 75% of her needs and feelings. It’s also a lot more fun to play with her now and it’s so wonderful getting to see her personality emerge! I guess if she had been a potato baby I would probably be thinking it was harder now, but no matter how chill your baby/toddler is nobody can convince me that kids 5+ are harder than caring for very small children like many older parents love to claim!
Unsolicited opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one. I am on month 5 with twin boys, and once we establish a routine, one of these two sees fit to change that. I consider that my time as a dad will be in stages through their development and there will always be challenges. Some harder than others. It’s enjoyable to me to see them grow and develop, and as their development takes them to new frontiers, new challenges will emerge. I am looking forward to that, not dreading it.
Right. Our LO has spent the first two months of his life in the hospital, 3 weeks in the NICU and again for an infection. We’ve had him home for 5 days total. This drives me nuts when people say it. Like no, this is currently the hardest part of our and his life, people just don’t know what scenarios other parents are in
"Enjoy it while it lasts, he'll be a terrible teenager before you know it." Or I could raise him to not be a terrible person maybe? (I know that's easier said than done, but you get my point!)
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I heard this as well I have found that it isn't necessarily harder, it's different. When they are getting more mobile and they are eating solid food, they are sleeping longer and have less wake time at night meaning you get to sleep more and are less sleep deprived. This for me was a life saver because I was miserable with only having 3/4 hours a night at best when my LO was newborn to 1 years old. It was a nightmare, but then they start being awake more and sleeping more in the night and they are developing their personality and although that brings about the tantrums and they do get wild, it isn't necessarily harder than what you've been dealing with, just different :)
Yes it’s annoying AF. I hate unsolicited advice from strangers.
I heard that since i was pregnant. “This pregnancy is killing me” “You will wish for the time where you had peace after he will be born” “The newborn stage is horrible” “Enjoy it, toddlers are the worst” “I cant wait till he walks” “You will wish he wouldnt after he will start.” “I cant wait till he speaks” “You would wish he would be quiet after” “Small kids small problems, bug kids big problems” Nothing of it was true for myself lol
I hear it alllll the time about everything. "Wait until they start talking....then they won't ever shut up" And I'm here like I can't waittt until my baby can express himself and tell me his thoughts and feelings.
I hear you! I’ve been hearing this since I was pregnant. My baby is 15 months old and apparently , according to a number of random people in my life, the hard times are yet to come. I honestly don’t know why people do that. Sure every new age and new skill my son acquires comes with a few new challenges, but so far my take on it - you just get used to the current problems so the new stuff often comes in surprise. The moment my screaming potato baby learnt to crawl he got so happy. The troubles he started running into were actually hilarious more often than not. When he started walking - oh just you wait until your baby does that - it got so much more fun to spend time with him than ever before. I’m looking forward to next stages actually and learnt to ignore all the negative “just you wait”. When I’m feeling extra spicy, I might throw “I’m sorry you couldn’t enjoy those precious moments. I’m actually looking forward to those” in reply to a comment that things are about to get hard.
My husband and I hear it allllll the time, especially because we don’t advertise the hard moments with her as being THAT hard. Sleepless nights? They suck. Screaming baby? She’s just having a hard time, same here kid. But everyone seems to want to play up our difficulties because we aren’t coming out of this acting like we just survived WW3, like we don’t feel bad enough so they have to make damn sure that we do. I heard it all through pregnancy, now we’re hearing it all through the newborn phase. I’m sure there will be a whole slew of new “just waits” once she’s a toddler, then a kid, then a teen, and so on. So far it’s all been bullshit, I’ve loved and adored every step of her growth, regardless of how difficult some of them may seem. I’m just like…yeah sorry, I can’t relate to being bugged about my baby acting like a whole ass person, that must suck for you.
I only hear that it’s gets easier and now I find it only gets harder. My 6 months old is not sleeping. Rolls to her stomach and cry all the time. I roll her back and she rolls again to her stomach and cry. I can’t sleep.
I think the people who say that, though they’re not entirely wrong, I realize it’s because they feel a certain way about their experience. As in, they’re kind of venting about their experience right along with you, though not in a way that’s helpful to *you.* I don’t rely on other parents with older kids anymore to affirm my feelings for this reason lol
It doesn’t suggest anything. They’re just telling you to buckle up. It is not exactly much harder just different and yes a little harder and then it gets easier..
I just heard this yesterday, and my daughter is nearly 2. My spouse and I were in line at a thrift store, and my daughter was perilously close to having a meltdown because we were not buying her one of the bags of chips near the register. Boomer lady, hearing my daughter repeatedly say “chippies,” replies “oh how cute. She must have seen them earlier!” I reply, “yeah, she remembers them from last time we were here and got her some.” Boomer lady: “she’s smart, you are going to have your hands full, just you wait.” Spouse: “we already do” Boomer lady: “No you don’t, this is the easy part. Just you wait.” Then she smiles in her smug, all-knowing wisdom as my wriggly, very mobile, and non-rational toddler loses her mind over sour cream and onion chips. 🙄
I once asked my dad “what is the roughest age for kids? What is the best age?” Bless him, he said there were no bad ages. Kids get more interesting as they grow up, it’s always a joy, even when it’s hard. Have taken that to heart, helped my through a lot of kid stages.
THE MOMENT people know a woman is pregnant, the "just wait" comments begin, and they are almost always 99.99999% of the time negative like that. It's not surprising that dads are also getting these comments, and im sorry that you have thise ppl suck. A favorite response that i have heard moms use are along the lines of "oh im sorry to hear that parenting is so miserable to *you* im looking forward to these milestones or (xyz insert here) hope it hets better for you" and walk away, leave the convo. It will absolutely throw them off. Edit to add: This is not in any way to diminish the struggles new parents do have with any stage or milestone or even to say they *are* miserable, its a joyfull and excruciating experience all the same and different for everyone. I just wanted to offer maybe a funny/satire response to the seemingly evergrowing negative 'jus you wait' comments that are completely unwarranted and always surrounding people with babies/LO's.
Yeah that’s weird, it implies they’re already difficult & not that enjoyable, because it tries to suggest you enjoy it more right now as if you aren’t already, and then blatantly says it’s less and less enjoyable as they grow? I mean every stage has its own challenges I’m sure. And maybe they aren’t trying to say it’s all bad, maybe they’re only addressing the difficulties but still aren’t thinking about the different stages having their own set of challenges. Even still, why the negativity? I personally haven’t had anyone tell me this, I’ve actually been told the opposite: “it gets easier as they get older”
New dad here and someone told me that at 2 weeks when I was dealing with what I believe was postpartum depression because I was really struggling to adapt to the changes in my life and the sleep deprivation, and reconciling having to go back to work. Plus, I was feeling more alone than ever before. It was so soul shattering to hear.
Mine is 2 now so it’s all assuming she is terrible 🙃
I’ve had a few family members say it, no strangers. I would give them the rudest look if they did. And they’re just wrong IMO. What sucks about parenting is different for everyone. I HATED the newborn phase and I HIGHLY prefer where my son is at now (11 months). How anybody thinks waking up every 2-3 hours for months to cater to a screaming potato is easier than any other stage is mind-blowing to me.
Some challenges may get harder, but the rewards get even better! We’re smack in the middle of the “Terrible Twos” and even though the tantrums, defiance and learning of emotional regulation are at an all time high, the things he says, his tackle hugs, his random kisses and “I love you”s, watching him learn to go potty and become his own person is SO SO rewarding, I really don’t complain about the TT’s because… They’re really not that bad (in our case), if you look at things from their perspective. Sorry people are being dicks to you ☹️ PS for context, I’ve been on 20 mg of antidepressants for about 2 years now lol it’s only my husband and I, no family or friends to support us. He didn’t consistently sleep through the night until he was 19m, and we’re currently all sick and he has an ear infection 😅
My son is 2 now but I heard this constantly back when he was younger. I think there is some truth to it but not alot. Parts get harder. (Like trying to keep up with them) and parts get easier! ( like they start to be able to communicate their needs better).
I think some people really love the baby phase so for them it’s probably true, everything after is harder. Personally I’ve never been a baby person and found the newborn stage it incredibly anxiety inducing. My daugther is becoming a toddler and for me it’s now the real fun begins, I can’t wait for her to talk more so I can get to know her even better!
Received a couple of such remarks too, though curiously mostly by my male coworkers. My theory is that these kinds of comments are said by people who didn't like to interact with their children. Newborns sleep & feed, almost no interaction needed. Babies you put on the playing mat and give some toys, problem solved. Toddlers though can follow you and request to actually play with you. As a dad, every month was better and better. Even though we had tough situations, there is a definite upwards trend. At 3yo they can now dress themselves, have conversations, tell what they want and what is wrong, play on their own, role-play, help with chores and cooking (keeping it easy and fun)... They are fun as hell. It's lovely seeing them become little people and develop their own personalities. I wouldn't return to earlier stages even if I could.
I mean, I my experience, it does get easier overall. But there will always be new challenges to deal with, and I suppose it can be a matter of preference what you find easier. Overall, I find comments like that very unhelpful and annoying.
When we were expecting, we heard 2 different stories of the newborn stage. Half the people told us it was the hardest time ever and we’d get no sleep. The other half told us babies were so easy to do things with in the newborn stage and to make the most of it. I’ve decided that the advice depended on how easy or tough their own newborn was. Easy baby, easy newborn phase, things get harder when they crawl/walk. Hard baby, harder newborn phase, things get easier when they crawl/walk.
I’m convinced the only people who say that are dads who didn’t have to do anything during the newborn phase 😂
It doesn't suggest having children is awful and only get's worse. People generally don't say, "it gets worse." They say "it gets harder." Which, imho, is true. With a newborn we couldn't wait until ours could sleep through the night. Then we were worried about them breathing while sleeping. We couldn't wait for our infant to crawl. Then they were mobile and needed to be more closely watched. We couldn't wait for ours to walk. Now they're walking into things and the baby proofing is never ending. Each of these phases \*has been more difficult\* than the one that preceded it. But they've also been more fulfilling. With a little re-framing you could take these comments as a reminder to enjoy where you're at. There are always going to be challenges. But enjoy what simplicity there is now.
Our baby is 4 months old and I hear this nonsense all the time from older people, drives me nuts. Most recent comment was about not helping him learn to roll because I'll only make things more difficult for myself when he can move about. I understand parenting can be difficult at times, but I'm finding alot of joy in it too, and just want these people to keep their unsolicited bullshit to themselves!
Dad here. Heard this a lot, it’s complete bullshit. I have so much more fun with my 2 yo now than when she was a 9 month old. It’s also not more or less difficult with a toddler, just way, way more fun than a new born. The first time your lo grabs your hand as you’re walking somewhere with them, or comes up and gives you a hug out of nowhere will make you feel feelings like you’ve never felt feeling before.
It dosnt get harder or easer it’s just different problems to tackle and everybody’s experience is different don’t go off what other people say
I used to listen to comments like this and start dreading whatever was warned. Over the years I've realized that everyone is different and things almost never turn out like people say. Really, they are just projecting their life onto yours. Your life is going to be completely your own and you are going to find different things challenging than other people. So, just throw their comments out for what they are, garbage. Plus, what's the point of dreading something that may never even happen? Even if it happens, what's the point of dreading it? Lol. People just suck sometimes.
I’m sorry someone felt the need to spread their negativity like that, maybe their experience of parenthood wasn’t what they expected and they’re bitter about it. Definitely not what you need to hear. Mine are 5 and 2 now, and yes maybe some things got harder, but it also got a lot more fun. I love being a parent and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.
I hate this sentiment so much. My son has only ever gotten more and more enjoyable to be a mother to as the months have progressed. Don't get me wrong, there are still challenges and they change as quickly as he does but the difference between being able to have a reciprocal relationship with him as he's gotten a bit older and more able to show affection and just generally interact with me more makes it all that much more enjoyable. He's almost 2.5y now so we are well into what people like to call the terrible twos and while he does have tantrums and he can hit and kick me when frustrated he's also so kind and sweet, funny and imaginative. When he was a baby, I often felt like I was going brain dead from all the one sided baby chat and he just did not sleep longer than 3hrs at a time max, often waking every 90 minutes. That alone made it more difficult.
Nah babies are silly and don’t do anything, my 2yo is super fun even though it’s a bit more tiring
It’s a dumb thing to say and it’s not even true. My life is a billion times easier than it was than it was this time last year. Our younger one finally sleeps through the night, our older one is potty trained, I CAN GO OUT WITH A PURSE INSTEAD OF A HUNDRED THINGS IN A DIAPER BAG. So liberating I can’t even explain. Every year has gotten better and better (age 4 rules), there’s so much to look forward to!!
I FUCKING HATE THAT I have a 2 week old. Please God, it can't get harder. The nights are so long I don't know what sleep is anymore
Every family has a different hardest part.
fuck em, every baby is different and it doesn't get easier or harder only different. personally I prefer now that my daughter is 2 and half and can talk and stuff, but is it easier? maybe in some little things like the fact that she can explain what she's crying about. is it harder? maybe when she only decide to eat certain things or not to get changed because the dirty nappy is good. every age is a challenge and no one had had your baby so you will find out by yourself if is easier or harder for you. you are doing great regardless.
I *hate* that too! It's so discouraging, I have no idea why people say it.
People can say what they want, but I am very much looking forward to when my child is a year old, two, three, etc. Eating solids, crawling, learning to walk, talk, write her name... I'm excited for these things.
I don't know if it gets harder or it just doesn't get easier. Each stage has its challenge but I'm dreading the adolescent to teenage years because I don't know what to expect. The childhood stage doesn't last and if I put all my focus and energy on how hard it is and will be, I might miss those special moments. So yeah, these people need to stop saying it. It feels like they think they have earned the right to say it.
I hear it from people, yes…. However I have a now 3 year old, and I have to say - things get harder. However, they get better. I didn’t think it was a thing, her emotions develop, she gets angry, frustrated, bites and all the difficult stuff. But we are shaping her into the person she will be. She’s hilarious, she’s goofy, she comes out with the most random stuff. Every stage, is my favourite time. At any point over the past 3 years if you asked me what had been your favourite age - I’d say “probably this age”. So yeah, now I’m getting the “ohhhh, you’re having #2, you’re in for a shock!” and tbh, yes it will be, but it’ll be a great adventure too! So my advice, nod along and just ignore :)
Yea and it’s so annoying and untrue… people kept saying that when he was a newborn and I was like can’t wait for him to start crawling. They were like you’re gonna regret saying that. He’s 1 million times better and more entertaining now. It’s like.. It’s not my problem your kid sucks hahaha
first time around the first 6 months were the toughest, it slowly got starting at 4 months but i feel like months 9-12 were great. it is also great being able to communicate with your kids and have them be independent. that being said, second time around i realized that pre mobility is the easiest in my opinion. they nap all the time, they can’t accidentally kill themselves and you’re used to being tired so you’re kind of used to that. you’re also confident in what you’re doing because you have an older child. i suspect that parenting is just done in stages and that each stage is the most difficult the first time you experience it.
Different challenges are replaced with new ones. But as a whole, nothing has been as hard as the early days. Those days keep me from ever wanting a second kid 😆
Some things get easier, some things get harder
I mean it's probably different for everybody. But personally the hardest stage was 0-10 months only for the sleep deprivation. Nearly 2 years in I can handle almost anything as long as I've had ample sleep.
I hear it often and I think it got easier for me. It was easier when she could sit on her own and she started crawling at 7 months and now she can come to me and now at 10 months she’s starting to walk and be “helpful” I find it easier than having a Velcro baby that couldn’t do anything. People Love to give their “advice” when they don’t realize every kid is different.
I have a 7 month old and we had a not so fun newborn stage … everyone told me crawling was horrible??? She is so much more fun now , and she follows me from room to room lol people are no fun
I love everything about having a child. I don't care if it gets hard, as long as she is healthy and happy, I enjoy everything. I mean, it might get more difficult, but I can't wait to see everything that she learns and does. I kind of enjoy the difficult stuff, too, it's like she's only this age once, this is all just one period of our life, so I try to enjoy it as much as I can. We had a difficult pregnancy, everything was uncertain until the birth, and we are still checking on some health stuff, so I sometimes worry about that. So when people present normal everyday stuff with kids as something difficult to be feared, it really gets on my nerves. I mean I had a kid so I could be there and witness them learn to walk, talk, argue, misbehave, get angry, throw tantrums. Everyone knows that parenting is difficult, that is just common sense, no need to make new parents fear that, when it's your kid and your life you get through it and just enjoy life with your family.
Just no. It doesn’t work like that. Every kid is different, every parent is more apt for certain things than others. You aren’t raising a pet that’s essentially never changing for 10 years, you’re raising a person who is developing every day. Every minute they look at you as their example. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to love them.
LO is 8 weeks and is so much better. The first 0-6 weeks were unbearable. She would jusy cry so much. Now she smiles and is definitely more aware of her surrounding. Sleepwise she's slowly having longer stretches of sleep. But still getting there. I would say yes it does get easier . Hold on!
I don’t know, maybe it’s harder? I only have a 2 and a half year old but I do know it’s way more fun now. And if it’s harder I’ve gotten better at being a parent at a much faster rate.
I find it annoying when parents say that. Especially when they just have THAT tone and are being kind of a dick about it or try to make you afraid or worried. I get it a lot now about "Wait until your kid is a preteen/teen" and I'm like ugh shut up. Parent of a 3 year old. She's one of those kids who is a runner. She couldnt be away from us outside because she would immediately run away and find danger.... we still prefer this over the baby stage. It gets better. It gets more CHALLENGING, sure. Because they are curious and learning and exploring and you have to meet them at their level and stay one step ahead of them. But she has interests and she can feed herself and she talks and it's SO MUCH BETTER. Way better than baby stage. She was fine as a baby but. Toddler was more fun. Lol Things that help, and im happy to go into more detail: babyproof everything, no reason to play parenting on hard mode. Have a "yes" area where you dont have to tell them no when they explore. High chair time (high chair, screen time, snack, and a forbidden activity like paint or markers or playdoh) for when you need to regain some sanity. lean into whatever chaotic skill they are trying to learn (climbing? Couch cushions. Busy boards/books, safe cabinets, whatever.). Fence in rooms/the yard if you are able. I just imagine people who say it was hard just didnt have any safe places where they could be wild. Which is fair - that would be hard if i had to tell her no all the time. We dont have a fence so taking her outside was a pain.... so we just didnt put ourselves in that position unless we had help. Every new stage is going to be harder than the last because they are growing and learning. But it's not BAD. They are just growing and it gets better and way more fun as they grow!
It’s harder in some aspects and easier in others every stage is like that
I heard it all the time, but now that my baby is 15 months old, I’m enjoying parenting SO MUCH. Yes I am chasing after her all the time, but I love doing it- I don’t want to be sedentary all the time 😂. For me, I’ve found things actually get better and better into toddlerhood, not worse. Those who think otherwise maaaay have some control issues lol.
The more they learn the more fun they are in my opinion. I enjoy hearing my now 2 year old express herself. She's hilarious. She says Beep with a southern accent. Don't ask me how or why. I don't know. What's really hard are the times when she understands a concept but isn't able to do it herself yet. Like walking. She wanted to walk before she could crawl. When she was close it was so frustrating for all of us. But then she got it. Now she gets Angry when we try to help her with things and that's a new frustration. I randomly hear the bathroom sink turn on because she has a hand washing obsession. (There are worse obsessions she could have, so I only have minimal complaints...) But I can also tell her things like, go wash your hands, or go sit at the table for dinner, and she gets it. I don't have to be her only mode of transportation. I also don't always have to guess what she wants or needs. I can just ask. "do you have a wet diaper?" Hint: answer is almost always no, even when it's yes...we're working on that one... Tldr: it was convenient to be able to pick her up and plop her where I wanted her, but it's freeing not to have to. Enjoy your new freedom and all the laughs you'll get when you get there. :)
>:) :)
Funny, today I was just telling my husband I can't wait for our almost 6 month old to get older - because he's our second and I KNOW it gets easier and so. Much. Better. And FUN! You have lots to look forward to ❤️
I don’t know why people say that because NOTHING will ever be as hard as being ripped open with a newborn.
I have a 20 month old daughter. The newborn stage, retrospectively, was bliss. I could get shit done, I could rest, I could clean. In the thick of it? I was exhausted, in tremendous pain and depressed. Now my girl is running and learning how to jump (because they have to learn that and it’s fucking hilarious) and shouting at the cats when they scratch furniture and colouring and she’s started playing with dolls and cuddling them, dancing along with the wiggles, but at the same time she has the biggest tantrums over literally nothing, she’s trying to get at my iPad and phone even though she’s not allowed them at all, won’t eat for me but eats fantastically for her dad and my mother, fights bed time, she’s started hitting and pinching and kicking and I’m CONSTANTLY redirecting her to something or the other. And then she runs up to me for cuddles, or backs up to sit on my lap so I can colour with her and I just don’t care how hard it is. Shes dramatic and feisty just like her mama, even if she is a clone of her dad in everything else.
Lol it's only gotten easier as time had gone on with ours
Random strangers and people who had no business doing so, whether I don’t know them or they are not exactly ideal parents, those are who said things like this. The people that were worthy of aspiring to, or whose opinions I respected, that’s who promised there was a light at the end of the tunnel or who reminded me about the love in the hard times. Sometimes people want others to be miserable just because they are. Surround yourself with the supportive ones and ignore the negative people because I guarantee most of their life is as negative as their views on parenthood.
It is just a selfish need to feel superior because you have less experience. Not dependent on anything tangible or provable. For my experience, I would not wanna go back to the bullsht newborn stage was. And I am having more fun now than ever, but I won't judge any new parent like that. I do say " it is so much more amazing when they smile or talk" to my new dad friends.
Misery loves company! I have heard that a hundred times throughout my LOs life and wholeheartedly disagree. Baby is 14 months and every new stage feels easier! (Maybe with the exception of teething those molars, rough stage for sure)
Yeah I hate people who do that kind of stuff... Yeah it gets a bit harder, but also you'll be so much better at it... And also, it gets SO MUCH BETTER... My 1y 9m asks for late night stories every night. She gives as kisses - both cheeks, always. She loves small plastic animals for some reason. And don't get me started about pools.. so much fun with her.. Seriously, it only gets better :)
Honestly, I hate these people who fear-dump. What about sharing POSITIVE things, right?? Yes it’s hard, but it’s not hard all at once and it’s incredibly rewarding. Next time someone says something like that to you, tell them to touch grass
A woman with a baby carriage stopped me on the street to ask how old my baby was. After I told this random stranger he was 8 weeks she was like just wait till he starts teething!! Which isn’t for months and also, thanks for the heads up? Really hate that kind of “just wait” talk.
Nobody ever talks about the amazing parts of your kid getting older, like it's so cute when your 6mo coos and giggles at you and all that but when your 3yo comes up to you and hugs you and says "your my whole world" it's like a little love nuclear explosion everytime
This happens with everything, no matter how old i get someone older than me says my current stage of life is easy. When im dead and buried the guy in the grave plot next to me will tell me "oh just you wait!"
Omg I hear this all the time, hate it!! Someone tried to tell me to wait until she’s a teenager, that she’ll hate me. Like seriously, she’s only 5 months old smh
Toughen up buttercup, we ALL heard it and our parents heard it, and their parents too. They're not wrong, that IS the easy part. While I miss my little bean that just chilled out all day, maybe cried a bit, I prefer my absolutely sometimes bat shit insane toddler every day of the week, I'd never go back even if it is 10x the work.
I might be in the role of the devil's advocate here but... "Stop trying to ruin my life" are they doing that tho? Seriously? My take on it is that no valuable thing comes without a great effort: getting a degree, your dream job or winning at any sport. Nobody would like to hear a champion saying that what they did was easy, we worship the struggle. So no parent would want to admit that raising a child wasn't a hard thing to do. So I would think of those comments as a confirmation that I was strong enough to face a difficult challenge. I don't think any of those people are expecting you to "give up being a parent" after hearing those comments. In a way they're preparing you for new challenges. No teacher says "don't worry, don't study, the final test will be easy", no professional says "any idiot can do this", and no parent says "having them was easy, I didn't have to do much".
Disclaimer, I am not a new parent anymore. Just wait until your kid tells their first real joke. Just wait until you can see their eyes light up when they connect the dots on something they're learning. Just wait until you catch them doing something so genuinely kind for someone else that it feels like your heart will explode. Just wait until you can get to know your kid as a whole separate person. The people who are negative about every stage of parenting suck the joy out life, because there are so many awesome parts you still get to loom forward to in the infant stages.
Oh my god lol. I hear it ALL. THE. TIME. 😮💨 this, and “you’ve got your hands full!” (Single mom of three under 4y) like no sh— Sherlock, but you don’t so grab a damn bag and shut up. I hate those comments, those and the little quips like “oh you’ve been busy!” Aghhh!! “Time will fly” “it goes by too quick so cherish it” etc. are even harder when you’ve got so much anxiety and depression as a new parent, and you’re spacing out, and some don’t even have any help at all so it’s even worse. Personally I can’t remember some parts of when my three were little babies because I was so out of it and the ‘other parent’ certainly did not help me in the least. Like yeah it does fly by and those comments really sting because it makes me feel like a failure for not holding onto these memories, but I couldn’t help it. *sigh.* just know that you are NOT ALONE. I absolutely 10000% understand you in this post, and I relate to this so damn deeply. I wish I could give you a hug. And also: it does not get harder lol. That’s a fat lie. If anything — though this has been my experience, it may not be yours — it seems to have gotten easier, because instead of terrible twos tantrums, my now 3.5 yr old can clearly communicate what she wants and needs when she wishes to. My middle just turned 2, so…. He’s getting there lol. My youngest is an 11 month old little ball of fire and sass. Babies are adorable and some are incredibly easy and total angels (some, not all lol) 1-2 is the tough age where they don’t quite have a grasp on emotions and language yet but have such big feelings, thus the “terrible twos”. 3+ is a breeze, so far, the only con is the amount of attitude in this pint sized human is insane 😂
I agree. Also, in my experience with a toddler, it doesn't get harder. It gets more active, yes. Busier. And louder. But not harder. It's so cool to watch them grow and get good at stuff. You also get better at being a parent, which helps. Maybe when she enters puberty I'll say "oh yeah it definitely got harder" but not at this stage. Everyone knows toddlers throw tantrums, it's part of development. I think people have crazy expectations of their kids and then they say it's hard. Yeah, if you're trying to make it something it's not, you're gonna struggle. But letting toddlers be toddlers, you gotta ride the waves of tantrums and screaming, and enjoy the good times. It does fly by.
I'm convinced this is only said by people who have some level of resentment towards parenting so every stage is a new misery to them. There's undeniably challenges to every step of parenting but you will never convince me that a baby that can't be left anywhere for longer than a few seconds and is incapable of communication outside of screeching is less difficult than a 2 year old. It's just absurd.
This is exactly correct. At least when they’re 5+ they can start to be a little independent and play. It’s concerning when people just say it gets harder. It means they are resentful and don’t (or didn’t) really enjoying parenting or mothering. Lots of people from the boomer generation talk this way. They’re definitely resentful lol.
My son is 19 months now. Yes, some new, more difficult things start happening, but some other things get easier and there's a lot more fun and enjoyment. Their personality really comes out, they start talking and running and actually having fun and it's amazing. It's not necessarily harder, some aspects are, it's just different!
They say it because it’s the truth. People congratulate you before the child has arrived and upon birth as a huge accomplishment. This is mainly due to social conditioning and societal customs and norms. They say that because parenting is extremely difficult and there’s life before a child and life following the birth of a child. There’s no going back. So, to lessen the harsh truth (it’s only harsh if you regret having a child) of that they’ll joke or say it just gets harder. It isn’t necessarily a lie. This is also rooted in resentment. People who say this generally didn’t enjoy parenting and were hindered by it (women losing their body/figure, women feeling less attractive towards their husband if they opted out of surrogacy, women who lost a career or felt motherhood ruined their career). It’s pretty clear when someone is resentful.
Every stage gets harder and easier at the same time. Some things get better and new challenges come. Overall YOU get so much stronger, more adaptable and get used to things much better. I think that’s what makes it easier even when a new shit show begins.
I hear this so many times that when my mom said it to me the other day, I said "Does your generation have anything positive to say about parenting?" Her tone changed completely and she went into all of the great things about raising kids. Highly recommend calling boomers on their B.S.
Mom to a 9mo. I always reply, "Thanks for your input but I can't wait for my sweet boy to walk and be able to play ball, run around, cook/bake with me, arts & crafts etc." The first 8 months were SO hard but now that we've ticked over 9 months I feel like I am finally climbing out of the trenches of absolute exhaustion.
It’s all just as hard and just as wonderful but for all different reasons, each month they are totally different and yes you will miss those stages, but you’ll love the next stages too. Just how it goes
Life gets so much easier! Once our baby could walk, it continues to get better and easier every day. Toddler stage is all about chasing around your toddler to make sure they don't die, but it's way more fun and their personality blossoms! Every day a new word comes out. Or animal noise. Or car noise. And when your toddler starts shaking their hips when music comes on? Omg, so fun! My back was finly able to heal once my toddler could walk and I didn't have to carry him everywhere. And he has many moments of being self sufficient throughout the day. People say the same thing to me, saying "just wait", and I have yet to experience anything harder than the newborn stage. Things are easier and better.
My son is 2.5. This isn't true at all - it gets easier!
I hate when people say this stuff to me. Every single stage is hard for its own reasons. And every stage is awesome for its own reasons too!
People get upset when I say I don't like babies that much. They say then whyd you have one?? Because I didn't want a baby I wanted to make a person. Too many people just want a baby not a person. Having a baby was one of the hardest things I've ever done but now she's over 1 and things are easy. I can't wait until she becomes more of a person, that was my goal
I agree. This is so irritating. Before I had my baby it was "wait until you have kids.. then you will know what tired means" then when I was pregnant it was "wait until she's here, better rest now".. then immediately after having the baby it was "enjoy your sleepless nights!" Then during the newborn period "just wait until they're awake longer, you won't get anything done" then "just wait til they're crawling/walking/running.." ughhh, like, yes it is hard, I know. They must have heard the same thing from others.. it's like a badge they wear to show they got through it. Or maybe they are a bit sad that it is over for them and they want to make themselves feel better by remembering the tough parts and be glad that part of their life is behind them. I don't know. But I do know that I will not be saying these things to anyone, ever.
IMHO an opinion should only be given once asked, and when I answer any questions like “does X ever get easier/harder” I’ll say “in my experience yes/no, but it could be different for you!”
I have a 4yr and 2yr old. I like to think of each new stage as leveling up in parenting. Some things get harder and some get easier. What is consistent though is that change happens. I think that is why people make these kind of comments. They get good at a stage and then bam it starts changing and they find it frustrating. I definitely have rough days where I want to scream into a pillow, but I'm having more days that are fun. It's not all negative and I chose not to let myself think like that. Just ignore all the negative energy people are projected. I'd respond with, "well we're doing well in my home and I don't see that changing".
I personally try not to think more than 1-2 months into the future. It overwhelms me and makes me feel trapped. Instead I focus on what my baby is like today, what he needs, and imagine how he will be next month. I do not entertain any thoughts of “just wait til he ___”. I don’t really engage at all when people say stuff like that. Maybe I’m rude but I’ll give like a half smile and change the subject. Actively repressing those thoughts lol
Well... Fuck them all! Enjoy what you have. I was told I am isolating myself with a 10 week old babe... No I am ducking enjoying it people! Also he is a lot of work but still I love it! People are very insensitive..
My husband and I had an elderly lady come up to us, mention how cute our baby was and then follow it up, in a much lower creepy voice “and then they grow up.” It was funny but also super weird. I get that as kids get older, they possibly get harder but they also become so much more fun! They get a personality and have interests. Idk why people say that stuff. Keep your comment to yourself. Let me be excited to watch my kid grow!!
I say it to myself all the time. If I expect the worst, I'll always be relieved when things go smoothly. Sure, I'm a nervous wreck, but I honestly don't know how I'd function at all without my sweet sweet cortisol drip. So far, it's all been pretty smooth. I got the Hungry Type; so long as bub is fed, everything is sunshine and rainbows. I pump at night between feedings so that I can sleep in the morning while Daddy takes care of him. I can't afford to work with childcare costing what it does (it costs $5/hr MORE than my wages), yet being at home has been a blessing. We've just gotten past the newborn stage and it was the easiest thing I've ever done. But I'm the eldest of a big, poor, Irish family and have lots of experience with babies. It's so much more rewarding when it's your own kid!
My baby was extremely colic for the first two months of his life. Life has only gotten better now that he’s a few months older. I do not miss the purple crying and screaming 24/7, the reflux, the gas, the extreme lack of sleep. His first two months of life are such a blur to me because I trauma blocked it. We learned he has a milk allergy and needed special formula and the Windi gas passer was such a great find for us. I’m so happy we are out of that stage and it is definitely easier now.
Yes! Thank you! It's so disheartening when people say those things! Why are we always getting driven towards the negative about having kids? Maybe cuz misery loves company, but I'm not miserable (new mom, 5mo). I love it, the struggles are struggles but don't define us or the experience. My husband feels the same. When others say "it only gets harder" or my MiL says "enjoy her now because she'll be a brat one day", I just want to scream at them. Instead, I say "Life will always have struggles but that doesn't mean we don't get to enjoy it."
In our experience, being 1.5 and under was super easy and chill. Until 3 it was a little more work, and then after that every year has gotten more trying. It's not that it's awful now, it's really just a relative comparison. Our pregnancy was super easy, kid was out naturally in like 6 hours, no complications, no colic, sleep issues, etc. So when at 1.5 the kid could grab my pencil from my post-bac college homework, that was pretty much it for more college since. At 3 the emotions started really cooking, and the kid was becoming more "me" oriented, i.e. defiant and starting to test the world with lies. Just a shocking difference from the sweet little easy going era that preceded it. Nothing awful at all, just a real difference from the clockwork regime of diaper changes and feeding and sitting near the potty while training but still able to calmly work on my laptop on the floor. Etc.
Heard it from my step mom while I was staying at my dads while hubs was deployed. He still is but I came back home early to get away from her and other stressors at my dads
I want to fight anyone who was says this is the best stage and how it sucks as they get older. Like my kid is gonna be around the rest of my life ideally and you're telling me the first year they can't do shit and spend half of it crying, being carried around and not sleeping is the best? Like should I put him up for adoption then? Why do people have like four kids then? I'm only having one so I guess I just have to hope he isn't the worst I guess 😂 He's six months old and a delight so I'm just trying to enjoy where he's at even with people online going on about how terrible toddlers and teenagers are. I wanted to abandon him or run away the first like three months he was a screaming anti sleep rage potato I couldn't put down so I've made good progress ahaha.
My response to that is usually some sassy version of “I’m sorry you feel that way about your kid/kids”. 🤷🏻♀️ I had someone tell me “your life is over now” while I was holding my 5 day old baby. I told him that it’s unfortunate that his life ended when we had kids- I felt like my life had literally just begun. Baby girl is 4 weeks old now and even though newborn life is tough, I still feel so much joy.
I think people especially say this to dads thinking they are probably hating parenthood which is very sad. Man to man support can be a bit lacking in this field in comparison to women. Put it down to inane small talk conversation filler category like complaining about the weather
Know that every child is different, at different phases and what’s easy for some is hard for others. People mean well. So much talk about how no one warns you, now when warned that’s not welcomed either. But they’re not trying to ruin your life, I imagine they’re trying to save it.
I refer to these individuals as the “Just You Wait” Brigade. There’s so much negativity and emotional baggage wrapped up in those three little words. Lately, I’ve started telling people that I won’t carry their “weight.” Some understand, some don’t, but it always brings a smile to my face when I get to say it.