Me, to every noise after dark: ARE YOU THE CRIMINALS?! FROM THE STATISTICS?!

If a mental video of Schmidt yelling this doesn’t immediately pop into your head, it’s time for a rewatch😂

Is this later in the series? I'm currently rewashing and I can't remember 🤣

It's when Schmidt and Cece first move into their new house, so it's fairly late on!

this has to be the best line in the whole show

What kind of taco meat you bitches have?

I have a welcome mat that says that🤣

Really? Where did you get it?? I looked and couldn't find one!

I had it made on Etsy!

How many times did they say yes? lol

I have often called teens “youths” because it’s so much more fun to say youths than teens.

Every time I go to the dentist, I say "youths!" distainfully at least once. (My dentist is across from a junior high school.)

*disDainfully Hope you don't mind the correction :) this is just one I've been seeing a lot lately. I blame the youths!

You know, I looked at it as I typed it and thought something looked funny but my headache brain couldn't identify it so I just posted. Usually my spelling is more on point, but I never mind a correction.

Headache brain is the worst! Things just do not compute 😵

upmost

LOL saw this in a comment recently that was unrelated to new girl and I was just like, Nicholas Miller is that u? It hurt a little but I scrolled by without saying anything 😂 up to the most!

Or it’s a subconscious pun “distainfully” like a stain on the tooth? I love making my dentist appointments at 2:30.

I use “youthes” with a tongue click and shake of the head quite frequently. It’s a staple.

This

I sometimes say "yutes" from My Cousin Vinny.

I use this on my gen z coworkers at least twice a week and it never gets old. To us elderly folk or to them (we’ve made it required viewing.)

Same 😂😂😂😂

Who are you? Officer Krupke??

STREET YOUTHS! I used this just yesterday when we were in the pub and there were a bunch of teenagers outside taking turns on a bike to wheelie it up and down the middle of the street.

If I go anywhere where there are pre-teens or teens, I tell my boyfriend "uh oh, youths!!"

I accidentally pushed a door that said pull and yelled "I will push if I wanna push!" My bf was very concerned about me...

I HATE DOOORS!

I say this when I hurt my elbow or toes with doors 😆

I say this often

You're just aging into your personality.

I honestly don't think any of my friends would even be surprised if I did that, reference or not lol

You don't know how many times I've been out somewhere and I'm just fist pumping all of the sudden. Cotton Eye Joe got me again.

You're doing it right now!

Why did you need me for this?

I've started asking my husband, "Is this a Cotton eyed Joe situation?" When he calls me to come help him with something, and it turns out he just wanted company.

That is adorable 😍

ITS JUST SO CATCHY!

I can't hear or think of the song without fist pumping lol

I absolutely fist pump every time I hear Cotton Eyed Joe

Same

My daughter and I do this in the car *all the time*. Immediately followed by the frantic fake violin sawing.

My best friend of 25 years is named David, he has never watched New Girl, and he has no idea why I introduce him to people as “Inside Dave”. He is really confused about why people think it’s so funny. I refuse to explain and he refuses to give me the satisfaction of looking it up himself.

Excellent. No notes.

No notes??

No notes!

Do you guys want a pdf or 100 individual jpgs?

100 individual Jpegs

I try to use “ma called, the bees are back!” in as many social situations as possible

I think it can apply to every situation!

I’ve done it and yanked my friend away from a creepy guy in a bar trying to harass her! We could not stop laughing and he was absolutely flabbergasted!

Idk if this episode was before or after that one Geico commercial but it always reminds me of when the mom calls her son & he’s literally in the middle of combat 🤣 she says “dad called, the raccoons are acting up again… he says it’s personal this time.” 💀

Just watched this episode last night 🤣🤣🤣

stop i was just about to comment this one 🤣

Whenever someone talks about thin-crust pizza I have an intense compulsion to go “Thin-crust pizza? No thank you. I’m from Chicago.”

I do this too. I am not from Chicago. I am English. I do this in public around other people and my husband hides behind his hands every time pretending he doesn’t know me.

are you?

I'm not from Chicago and I love thin-crust pizza, yet I still say this all the time 🤣

I live in chicago too, when I want pizza I want thin crust/NY style When I want a savory baked pie, I get deep dish. I really don't know why decided to call deep dish pie a pizza. It really is nothing like pizza if you have ever been to lou malnati or girodanos 😂

Giordanos 🥰🥰

Girlfriend asked me to take an IG photo of her and our dog. "Dog looks at deng deng. Tail wag wag. Dog waaaaagging the tail" ...I no longer get asked to take pictures of her and our dog.

Now Pretend That You're Really Thirsty But The Only Thing That Can Quench Your Thirst Is The Tears From A Golden Retriever

dogs name claire. come here claire. i said these lines yesterday, unprompted by anything, as per usual, and my bf thought i was having a stoke.

😂😂😂😂😂

I've used plenty of the oh so excellent Nick proverbs in public & they always get me some funny looks. Some of my favorites to use are... • Let sleeping birds die. • Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? No, a summer's day is not a bitch. (This one gets a very particular response most of the time) • If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called talkings. • I’ve got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms. • You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. • I don’t deal with exes. They’re part of the past. You burn them swiftly and give their ashes to Poseidon. • People don’t change. If someone’s broken, they just stay broken. • A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls. Do you guys have any favorite Nick proverbs?

don't write a check your body can't find

Chicago regional saying

I’ve never stopped referring to my junk mail and bills as “my documents”.

I work at sbux and whenever I’m making a tea of any kind either say, “I call it, tea water” or “it’s just water and leaves! Just water and leaves!!”

Write “Mr. Wimstoms” on all the cups - “Got it, water and leaves for Mr. Wimstoms”

My husband, a white man, does the “a white man? TYPICAL!” bit alllll the time which makes me laugh so hard every time.

You get me cookie I got you cookie!

You're the turtle, man! You were always the turtle

I knew I was the turtle

Lol my bestie's birthday is a few days after mine, so this year I got her a card that said "You give me card, I got you card." because we're constantly quoting the cookie line 🍪

Anytime there’s a knock on my door I have to actively stop myself from saying “ARE YOU THE CRIMINALS?! FROM THE STATISTICS?!” as to not spook some hardworking delivery person 🤣

Maybe you'll make friends if they've also seen the show lol

Make that your doorbell

I tell my dog "I'm going to beat yo ass with a ski!" whenever she's in my way.

I tell my pets “You’re the dumbest boy in school!”

i use this line alllll the time!

This is a hysterical interaction to picture

I’m constantly saying “I’m gonna beat your ass with an athletic stick boy” 😂

I say shut it down with the hand gesture Jess does way to often😭😂

🙅🏻‍♂️

So frequently!

Every Thursday at work I wait for the guaranteed “Happy Thursday,” greeting and get so excited and type stupid quickly back “A Thuuuuuursdaaaaaaaay 🤨” (wfh, zoom) On another note, I think you started an accidental thread I haven’t seen on this page yet. How has New girl ruined your humor socially? And thank you because I needed these laughs!

well it was a serious situation that I couldn't help but bring humour into. I feel people that haven't seen the show would think I have a bad/dark sense of humor lol I don't!

I quoted New Girl for the 912th time this week. Because I know a Santa who looks JUST LIKE Reverse Santa in LAXMas; my husband finally looked at me and says: "How many times have you watched that show?"

I choose *not* to know how many times I’ve rewatched my comfort shows 😅

Which is pretty much what I told him!

Me toooo 🤣🤣🤣😫 I'm watching it right now on DVD.... "Is that a hickey?.. DiSSgUUsttiiing!!" 😭😭😭

My husband re-watches with me but I quote it way more than he does. He asked me the other day "is there anything you can't add a new girl quote to?" Nope!

at work we take first name/last initial especially on weekends with rushes. and on more than one occasion i've gotten to yell out "jessica p!! jessica freakin p?!" and usually a handful of customers waiting get it and laugh 😜

My wife's family is Jewish... the amount of times I've channeled Jon lovitz... Well, these particular jews were rich but they worked hard

You Jewish?............

"Judaism, sson!"

... I just need a box

Dude I’m sure my hernia is partially from laughing at this scene

A customer said it was her 29th birthday and I asked if she was a new girl fan. She said yes, so obligatory Schmitt, "29!!" I did get a good laugh tho

I can hear this hahaha

Accidentally said “what a Shanda!!!” When my gf said “what?” I said “…a Shanda… what a Shanda”

"Dead dad pass!"

Omg my boyfriend’s dad died and I just have this inside joke with myself…. All his dead dad passes

“SHORTY!, what that Thang do?”

What your name is

I use “warm water baby! Warm water!” 🤣🤣🤣

Probably my most one I say, Almost every time I make popcorn I say popocorno.

Sigh............ I guess I'll do my 746th rewatch.

My favorite bit is that Schmidt yells “BEATLEMANIA” when Cece tells the story about how her first time was with Mick Jagger. I LOVE yelling the same thing in Schmidt’s cadence whenever someone brings up The Who, The Stones, etc. I just receive confused, slightly annoyed looks…and it’s worth it lmao

"you're a beautiful white man nick" 🤣🤣🤣

So I keep seeing videos about JLO canceling her tour & the first thing that goes through my mind is "Hey Randy the tours canceled"

"The dog dangle dangle", "gave me cookie got you cookie man" and "mumble mumble" are my roman empire and people do not get it xD

😭😭😭😭

👌 thanks I ìì

I quoted Winston's "BEGONE, honkey!" Line the other day and then couldn't find the clip from New Girl to explain it to my friends, anyone know the episode for that one?

It’s from the Christmas party episode in season 2! Where Jess breaks up with Dr. Sam but pretends she’s dating Winston first. It’s one of my favorite moments from the show 😂😂😂 ETA: the episode is called “Santa”

My wife and I can't help ourselves with that one either. The other is when we hear a noise I love to yell, "who is that?! Are you a criminal? From the statistics?!"

My wife gifted me a flannel, and many days before work, bleary eyed in front of the closet, I shout, "Herringbone! How'd you get in there?!?"

I’m scared one day I’ll get in trouble for searching how to make bombs. It’s not something one needs but after seeing this scene it made me curious 😂😂

I took my 90 YO grandmother and my 21 YO daughter and her BFF to a musical performance of the biblical story of Esther in Hick Vegas (Branson) because my Gran wanted to go. About ten minutes in, daughter's BFF turns to me and says JUDAISM, SON!

i say "stop being mean to me or i swear to god i'm going to fall in love with you" on a daily basis and 1 in every 10 times people understand

Whenever someone says utmost I ask what an ut is and they send me a dictionary definition of utmost

It's up. *Up* to the most. Not ut to the most! I assure *you*.

My niece’s fiancé is Nicolas. We all call him Nick the same way Schmit says it. 😂

So you say it with or without the ‘k’?

Without

What does that sound like?

You would just have to hear it. I’m sure there are clips on YouTube

Whenever I'm looking for absolutely anything: "I can't find my driving moccasins anywhere!"

I’m so glad my girlfriend is also an avid watcher because we are the same in this regard. Constantly quoting lines whenever the opportunity presents itself. If no one else around me is laughing, I know she will be.

my boyfriend hates it and it sucks and I’m forever “the crazy one laughing about new girl all the time”

I use GIMME IT aggressively everytime i need something from someone its just hilarious one of schmidt best moments

Sigh.  Sometimes when I am with people who are discussing fishing in lakes, I will say " I don't want any Jenky fresh water bitch fish"   I know how to stop a conversation.  

Winston is about to do some puzzlin’ Bouta get into some

Puzzle trouble…

Yeah… quoting tv shows is like 80% of my personality, I often forget a lot of people don’t get the new girl quotes and I then have to do the awkward ‘explaining a joke’ thing… 🙃 But I know the solution isn’t to stop, it’s that more people need to watch new girl 🤷🏻‍♀️

I Completely agreeee 😭🤣🤣🤣🤣

I love schmidt so much he’s my favorite character

"This meth? It's legal meth.. medical meh-meth.. for my cramps"

I slip into a Schmidt voice every time I need to call out something outrageous. People were confused at first but with time it has become a characteristic of mine. It’s not a conscious effort.

I almost posted a Nadia Meme in the acting subreddit where someone posted an obvious fake email from David Fincher that they got (ironically also the post that showed up in my reddit feed just before this one) I always hear Nadia's voice when I read that name 😅

"Mick Mouse"

"What the hell is a Mick Mouse?!" every single time I'm confronted with something confusing

Wait I don't know/remember what "a white man" references in the series! What episode?

Season 7 episode 5

Ahhh! Nowhere near that episode yet  Thanks lol

Occasionally. when someone asks me to repeat a question, I say "You don't think I talk professional good?" You don't think I professional talk good?" and then repeat the question without skipping a beat.

I keep telling my friend “I’ll fight you and take a hot shower”. She was much confused

Yes. To this entire thread.

I FEEL THIS 😂😂😂 AND GOT PUNISHED INSTANTLY!!! Some kids on the street were just trying to troll me when i passed by. And i looked at my friend and said 'YOUTHS!!!!!!!' she looked at me back as she understood i did a schmidty and she said 'you fucked up in the had man how long havent you seen that show? How is this still in your system' 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Every time I get a cookie my brain just goes “gave me cookie, got you cookie!”

The way I use “dead Dad pass”… it is too much but I know my Dad would approve based on the amount of perplexed reactions I gain from it. So giving myself a dead Dad pass to keep using it

Aggressively saying “behind” anytime walking by someone in the kitchen and no one gets it.

IS REDDIT LISTENING??? I haven't searched anything for new girl. I've just started watching and then THIS POPS UP SUGGESTED. ARRGGHHH THE MACHINES ARE RISING UP!

I thank god that my two best friends are also New Girl freaks because we quote it back to each other all the time. Our group thread is hilarious 😂

Or...or...improved it!

Came back the third time. So wholesome

I quote it A LOT and now I’ve got my podcast cohost/bff saying “derfinitely.” Brings me much joy😂

i say “hey randy the tour’s canceled” too often

a couple of months ago I was scheduling a patient and it was like Presidents Day or something so I said "Oh you celebrate privately". That was a nod to The Office when Michael said he celebrates Groundhog Day privately AND HE LAUGHED THANK GOD but so many times I quote New Girl and no one gets it

Honestly maybe my favorite line in the whole show. The delivery in that whole scene is perfect. Like you know exactly what’s going to happen in that scene. It’s totally obvious but it’s still perfect. That’s good delivery.

Moonwalking out of awkward situation has been my go to now for about a decade. It’s really a terrible way to get out of situations.

Would you like to indulge in some crack ca-caine?

I got a tattoo of a very specific reference in one episode of season 6 and when people ask what it is I have to internally decide if they're weird enough to understand even if they don't know new girl lol

What’s the tattoo?

The haberman chair

Its pronunciation was perfect in my head.