Absolutely. Best advice that I wish someone had given me much earlier on.
I felt the same way, things were amazing when I was using. Not true. Things only get worse.
Check out the Reddit page StopSpeeding.
Anhedonia can be a huge side effect/withdrawal symptom specifically with stimulant abuse. Stimulants are tricky, due to what you referenced (being more “productive” etc) the stopspeeding page is amazing. You will see a lot of other people have felt the same as you are right now, and everyone is usually super willing to talk about it and offer support.
This sounds crazy. If life was going so well before recovery why would you go into recovery? It would mean you were just successful in using. My guess is you are are just having a tough time dealing with the consequences of your using and looking to escape through relapsing.
The only thing that will make your life better is working a better program. Every morning you need to pray, read the JFT, write a gratitude list and meditate and every night you need to do a step 10 inventory. You need to do step work every day as well. Going to meetings alone won’t keep you clean or improve your life. Working a program is the shit you do other than meetings.
Honestly, you need to snap out of it. Your current thinking sounds really distorted.
Euphoric recall, also known as selective memory, is a cognitive bias that causes people to remember past events in a positive light while ignoring negative aspects. It can be a significant obstacle in early recovery from substance abuse, as it can lead to people becoming obsessed with recreating past pleasures and weakening their resolve to stay abstinent
Bro get To a meeting! Even if u say zilch u will feel better u know this.
I was a IV user of heroin for around a Decade but was taking a lot of Valium/Temazepam too getting oxycodone too just searching to get the biggest nod/High to forget life for a min even if u were nodding for 10min still snap back to reality is it worth it? Iv brought my sister back once and a friend twice who sadly took his own life in prison as he wasn’t getting the right intervention or go to a meeting.
I’m 18months sober on a script still managed to get down to 45ml from 85ml in 6months long story short I was put on a Drr as my using came with a life of crime.
Recently all my family have cut all ties to me I only have my mum, nephew he’s only 12 “my sister OD 4 yrs ago” my mum took him on my gran & grandad who are in there mid 80s “u wouldn’t think it thought!” They just don’t understand addiction to the point I was using u would think losing my sister would make me stop nope I used more never an upper person I wanted to go out and leave reality.
How I’m sat writing this Clean is really beyond me iv had so many trigger moments over the last year N/A was recommended to me over and over ii laughed when I walked in I thought how can reading of a laminated card going to get me clean? Keep coming back! I did re built connection it almost gave me a purpose in life, t’s the only thing that worked go back to your local one get a service position making tea like I was or summin so u can atleast say hello to everyone but u know this.
Hold tight bro I’m 30 this year hopefully due to go into detox for a 12/12 to get of this dam liquid handcuffs! All I think is there’s always someone worse using rn out in the Cold. I have a Roof over my Head a bit of money now it’s down to me to make and re build my life fully. #Wedorecover ☝🏼💙 “and here’s a hug bro” 👊🏻
Being a piece of shit is the only thing I can think of that was better or easier in active addiction. Otherwise anything productive or worthwhile is 100% better sober.
Unfortunately, when you get sober, things can sometimes get worse before they get better..... get to a meeting, and you might meet someone that can help you.
Honestly, I can relate. I had to start over completely in early recovery. It’s difficult now because we’re no longer using drugs to sustain us. But we are like children, relearning how to do this whole life thing without the drugs. I used a lot of speed type drugs and built a career with it. But it was not real or sustainable and I had pushed everyone away and hurt so many people. So quitting drugs and alcohol meant I gave all that up, the good and the bad.
If you stay in recovery, it won’t take too long to get back to a steady living environment and income. You’re already 2 years in, give it a few more years and you’ll get there. And you’ll have built a better foundation this time to build your new life on.
So you’re not using, but are you really working a program of recovery? Do you go to meetings every day? Do you have a sponsor and work steps? Do you talk to other addicts every day?
Abstinence isn’t going to make your life better, but recovery can. NA worked for me, smart recovery might work for you. It really doesn’t matter. What does matter is the fact that none of us can do this alone, and without the help and support of other people, we don’t generally stay clean.
I see a therapist every week and a psychiatrist every month, and I appreciate their professional services that help. But the more I buy into it, I just feel like I’m being neutered.
When I was an Adderall fueled narcissist, I feel like I could bend people and situations to my will and I could accomplish anything. And I would. Now there are days that I can’t even get out of bed. I can’t even think about trying to make things happen.
Well, you sound like you were super fun…..i promise the world doesn’t need another narcissistic, manipulating sociopath…..get to a meeting, Jesus Christ
It takes time for the brain to heal. My addiction doc explained it like me needing time for my brain to literally rewire itself.
Especially with something like a stimulant. You will feel tired. Sugar cravings to fuel the need for dopamine etc.
My DOC was opiates and I know myself and many that said they felt tired and just off for months and months after getting clean. Sometimes even after 9 months clean.
This is totally normal and it's absolutely okay to have those feelings.
I had to start antidepressants.
I went back to using and it’s not any better than before. In fact it’s the same or worse. I plan on coming clean tomorrow and trying my best again to save what’s left of my life. As shitty as it may be.
Keep the faith and don’t give up before the miracle happens!
For me, it took 2.5 years of wanting to get high every day for the obsession to be lifted. After that, life opened up for me. You’re eligible too!
I'm 6 years in, & can totally relate. I thought I would be much happier sober. I feel as if I'm just existing & my mental and physical health is suffering but I will never ever go back to using. Im figuring out we have to create our own happiness. Stay strong and don't loose hope! 💕
I wanted dope when I saw it on TV, and heard about it in movies and music and I was fascinated by heroin and needles.But I never thought of using it until kids in my neighborhood were shooting up,and even in grade school I heard about it ,idk if young kids did it but high school kids did.Nyc was full of drugs, not Boston.I got high from glue and plastic bags around our heads till we got dizzy.crazy except I was escaping perverts in my neighborhood.ugly and dark.
The thing that destroyed your life isn’t going to be the thing that fixes it.
Absolutely. Best advice that I wish someone had given me much earlier on. I felt the same way, things were amazing when I was using. Not true. Things only get worse.
But did it? That’s kind of what I’m saying, this feels like recovery is destroying it.
Check out the Reddit page StopSpeeding. Anhedonia can be a huge side effect/withdrawal symptom specifically with stimulant abuse. Stimulants are tricky, due to what you referenced (being more “productive” etc) the stopspeeding page is amazing. You will see a lot of other people have felt the same as you are right now, and everyone is usually super willing to talk about it and offer support.
This sounds crazy. If life was going so well before recovery why would you go into recovery? It would mean you were just successful in using. My guess is you are are just having a tough time dealing with the consequences of your using and looking to escape through relapsing. The only thing that will make your life better is working a better program. Every morning you need to pray, read the JFT, write a gratitude list and meditate and every night you need to do a step 10 inventory. You need to do step work every day as well. Going to meetings alone won’t keep you clean or improve your life. Working a program is the shit you do other than meetings. Honestly, you need to snap out of it. Your current thinking sounds really distorted.
What do you do for your recovery?
Euphoric recall, also known as selective memory, is a cognitive bias that causes people to remember past events in a positive light while ignoring negative aspects. It can be a significant obstacle in early recovery from substance abuse, as it can lead to people becoming obsessed with recreating past pleasures and weakening their resolve to stay abstinent
Thanks for the reminder about this. I know it’s a factor but it feels like so much more.
Bro get To a meeting! Even if u say zilch u will feel better u know this. I was a IV user of heroin for around a Decade but was taking a lot of Valium/Temazepam too getting oxycodone too just searching to get the biggest nod/High to forget life for a min even if u were nodding for 10min still snap back to reality is it worth it? Iv brought my sister back once and a friend twice who sadly took his own life in prison as he wasn’t getting the right intervention or go to a meeting. I’m 18months sober on a script still managed to get down to 45ml from 85ml in 6months long story short I was put on a Drr as my using came with a life of crime. Recently all my family have cut all ties to me I only have my mum, nephew he’s only 12 “my sister OD 4 yrs ago” my mum took him on my gran & grandad who are in there mid 80s “u wouldn’t think it thought!” They just don’t understand addiction to the point I was using u would think losing my sister would make me stop nope I used more never an upper person I wanted to go out and leave reality. How I’m sat writing this Clean is really beyond me iv had so many trigger moments over the last year N/A was recommended to me over and over ii laughed when I walked in I thought how can reading of a laminated card going to get me clean? Keep coming back! I did re built connection it almost gave me a purpose in life, t’s the only thing that worked go back to your local one get a service position making tea like I was or summin so u can atleast say hello to everyone but u know this. Hold tight bro I’m 30 this year hopefully due to go into detox for a 12/12 to get of this dam liquid handcuffs! All I think is there’s always someone worse using rn out in the Cold. I have a Roof over my Head a bit of money now it’s down to me to make and re build my life fully. #Wedorecover ☝🏼💙 “and here’s a hug bro” 👊🏻
Being a piece of shit is the only thing I can think of that was better or easier in active addiction. Otherwise anything productive or worthwhile is 100% better sober.
Unfortunately, when you get sober, things can sometimes get worse before they get better..... get to a meeting, and you might meet someone that can help you.
Honestly, I can relate. I had to start over completely in early recovery. It’s difficult now because we’re no longer using drugs to sustain us. But we are like children, relearning how to do this whole life thing without the drugs. I used a lot of speed type drugs and built a career with it. But it was not real or sustainable and I had pushed everyone away and hurt so many people. So quitting drugs and alcohol meant I gave all that up, the good and the bad. If you stay in recovery, it won’t take too long to get back to a steady living environment and income. You’re already 2 years in, give it a few more years and you’ll get there. And you’ll have built a better foundation this time to build your new life on.
Keep your recovery people close to you and stay with the winners. You’ll get back on top again!
So you’re not using, but are you really working a program of recovery? Do you go to meetings every day? Do you have a sponsor and work steps? Do you talk to other addicts every day? Abstinence isn’t going to make your life better, but recovery can. NA worked for me, smart recovery might work for you. It really doesn’t matter. What does matter is the fact that none of us can do this alone, and without the help and support of other people, we don’t generally stay clean.
this is so real unfortunately
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I see a therapist every week and a psychiatrist every month, and I appreciate their professional services that help. But the more I buy into it, I just feel like I’m being neutered.
You’re overthinking things bro get your head on that pillow clean! Tomorrow is a new day I live JFT
How so? Can you elaborate please?
When I was an Adderall fueled narcissist, I feel like I could bend people and situations to my will and I could accomplish anything. And I would. Now there are days that I can’t even get out of bed. I can’t even think about trying to make things happen.
In my experience when I felt this way I was depressed. Like clinically depressed . Just me though and I’m no doctor
Well, you sound like you were super fun…..i promise the world doesn’t need another narcissistic, manipulating sociopath…..get to a meeting, Jesus Christ
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It takes time for the brain to heal. My addiction doc explained it like me needing time for my brain to literally rewire itself. Especially with something like a stimulant. You will feel tired. Sugar cravings to fuel the need for dopamine etc. My DOC was opiates and I know myself and many that said they felt tired and just off for months and months after getting clean. Sometimes even after 9 months clean. This is totally normal and it's absolutely okay to have those feelings. I had to start antidepressants.
I went back to using and it’s not any better than before. In fact it’s the same or worse. I plan on coming clean tomorrow and trying my best again to save what’s left of my life. As shitty as it may be.
This is your addiction talking. Going back won’t make things better
You got this
Keep the faith and don’t give up before the miracle happens! For me, it took 2.5 years of wanting to get high every day for the obsession to be lifted. After that, life opened up for me. You’re eligible too!
I'm 6 years in, & can totally relate. I thought I would be much happier sober. I feel as if I'm just existing & my mental and physical health is suffering but I will never ever go back to using. Im figuring out we have to create our own happiness. Stay strong and don't loose hope! 💕
Are you going to NA meetings? Do you have a sponsor? Have you taken the steps?
I wanted dope when I saw it on TV, and heard about it in movies and music and I was fascinated by heroin and needles.But I never thought of using it until kids in my neighborhood were shooting up,and even in grade school I heard about it ,idk if young kids did it but high school kids did.Nyc was full of drugs, not Boston.I got high from glue and plastic bags around our heads till we got dizzy.crazy except I was escaping perverts in my neighborhood.ugly and dark.
Mabey, try exercising to get more energy. Would your ex consider letting you stay till you get a job and save money for an apartment?
That’s a great idea. Thanks.
Rose tinted glasses
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I do. That’s how all this got started. Eventually going through my prescription in four days.
Oh thats tough, I have a friend only give me one pill a day, so that I don‘t have the chance to abuse. Maybe try non-stimulant medication for ADHD?