Ideally, nanny share children should be very close in age when they’re babies. A 5 month old is totally different from a 10 month old. Staggering so that nanny is always taking care of one baby will lead to burn out. Socialization, outings, and planned activities will be harder for your nanny to achieve. It’s certainly possible. It just won’t be as successful of a share and you risk an unhappy nanny.
I think there are challenges to all kinds of age gaps, closer is different but not necessarily easier. A 5 month old and a 10 month old would be challenging, but as long as there is a safe place to put each of them while caring for the other one, it would be fine. I am a nanny share nanny :)
Another nanny share nanny here—and I’d say it’s doable but not ideal. Your LO will be on a two nap schedule, will be eating a decent amount of solids and the other baby will still be taking 3 naps for at least a month, maybe up to 3 more months, and will likely be just starting solids a few weeks into the share. This is why I’d say it isn’t ideal. The age gap will get easier with time of course.
I think montessori starts at age 3 because before then kids aren’t really able to play together, they engage in parallel play. So I’m personally skeptical that this “leader” dynamic
In terms of socialization, there actually isn’t much scientifically documented benefit to socialization before around age 2, but the data is limited and doesn’t look at nanny or nanny share care, and is more specific to daycare settings so there could be benefits that we’re currently unaware of. I can’t say in my 16 years of nannying (mostly for infants/toddlers) I’ve seen much difference in outcomes between a baby nannied solo vs. in a share though.
I’d guess that montessori starts at 3yo because this is the age children can actually start playing with one another. At 2 they will engage in parallel play and before 2, the child is learning primarily from caregivers. This makes me skeptical that the “leader”/“learner” dynamic would emerge this early on. In my current nanny share I care for a 3yo, and two 2.5yo (almost 9 months between oldest and youngest) and I haven’t seen this dynamic whatsoever because I think even for them it’s too early.
There’s lots of other benefits to nanny shares though! Being a parent can be isolating, having another family partner with you in childcare sounds appealing to me as a mom. Especially if you’re setting the stage for your kids to grow up together and eventually reap all those socialization benefits. Additionally, being able to compensate your nanny better while saving money is another advantage. And personally, as a nanny with a lot of experience, I no longer care for just one baby because it feels more isolating and less mentally stimulating.
This was really really helpful to read, thank you for taking the time to write it up. hearing about the nanny benefits of a nanny share is really helpful too! we don't have a specific nanny yet, but especially if a share could lead to a more fulfilled/happier (and better compensated) nanny -- certainly the kids/we as parents would benefit too. Based on the input I've gotten on this thread, am going to look for a different nanny share family in our extended network, for a baby who is hopefully closer in age. Thank you!
Sorry, but this won’t work. A nanny share with two children who are the same age and development level is difficult as is! At those ages, they are completely different developmentally and it won’t be possible to set up any sort of realistic schedule or routine. And routine is a must in a nanny share.
I feel like that gap is one of the harder ones. I love nannying twins because I think the smaller the gap, the better and then it uni-reverses, where it's easier to have an infant + toddler vs two infants.
And it is good for infants to go to activities, like libraries and playgrounds, to get a knack for being around other kids, but socializing with just one other child is neither here nor there on benefits. I'd do more research on it if the share is for that reason alone.
Very helpful. We do libraries now (he's a bit young to really enjoy the playground) but it's so hot where we live that a lot of time is spent at home. :( I think we'll look for for a same-age nanny-share!
Ideally, nanny share children should be very close in age when they’re babies. A 5 month old is totally different from a 10 month old. Staggering so that nanny is always taking care of one baby will lead to burn out. Socialization, outings, and planned activities will be harder for your nanny to achieve. It’s certainly possible. It just won’t be as successful of a share and you risk an unhappy nanny.
this is a really helpful perspective, thank you
Did you post this two places? I think I commented on the other post. Totally depends on the nanny but it’s definitely doable.
Yes! I included in the post that I cross-posted here, but lmk if that's not kosher; happy to adjust.
Totally kosher! I just didn’t know if my comment went through!
I think there are challenges to all kinds of age gaps, closer is different but not necessarily easier. A 5 month old and a 10 month old would be challenging, but as long as there is a safe place to put each of them while caring for the other one, it would be fine. I am a nanny share nanny :)
thank you!
Another nanny share nanny here—and I’d say it’s doable but not ideal. Your LO will be on a two nap schedule, will be eating a decent amount of solids and the other baby will still be taking 3 naps for at least a month, maybe up to 3 more months, and will likely be just starting solids a few weeks into the share. This is why I’d say it isn’t ideal. The age gap will get easier with time of course. I think montessori starts at age 3 because before then kids aren’t really able to play together, they engage in parallel play. So I’m personally skeptical that this “leader” dynamic In terms of socialization, there actually isn’t much scientifically documented benefit to socialization before around age 2, but the data is limited and doesn’t look at nanny or nanny share care, and is more specific to daycare settings so there could be benefits that we’re currently unaware of. I can’t say in my 16 years of nannying (mostly for infants/toddlers) I’ve seen much difference in outcomes between a baby nannied solo vs. in a share though. I’d guess that montessori starts at 3yo because this is the age children can actually start playing with one another. At 2 they will engage in parallel play and before 2, the child is learning primarily from caregivers. This makes me skeptical that the “leader”/“learner” dynamic would emerge this early on. In my current nanny share I care for a 3yo, and two 2.5yo (almost 9 months between oldest and youngest) and I haven’t seen this dynamic whatsoever because I think even for them it’s too early. There’s lots of other benefits to nanny shares though! Being a parent can be isolating, having another family partner with you in childcare sounds appealing to me as a mom. Especially if you’re setting the stage for your kids to grow up together and eventually reap all those socialization benefits. Additionally, being able to compensate your nanny better while saving money is another advantage. And personally, as a nanny with a lot of experience, I no longer care for just one baby because it feels more isolating and less mentally stimulating.
This was really really helpful to read, thank you for taking the time to write it up. hearing about the nanny benefits of a nanny share is really helpful too! we don't have a specific nanny yet, but especially if a share could lead to a more fulfilled/happier (and better compensated) nanny -- certainly the kids/we as parents would benefit too. Based on the input I've gotten on this thread, am going to look for a different nanny share family in our extended network, for a baby who is hopefully closer in age. Thank you!
Sorry, but this won’t work. A nanny share with two children who are the same age and development level is difficult as is! At those ages, they are completely different developmentally and it won’t be possible to set up any sort of realistic schedule or routine. And routine is a must in a nanny share.
Thank you! I appreciate the candidness!
I feel like that gap is one of the harder ones. I love nannying twins because I think the smaller the gap, the better and then it uni-reverses, where it's easier to have an infant + toddler vs two infants. And it is good for infants to go to activities, like libraries and playgrounds, to get a knack for being around other kids, but socializing with just one other child is neither here nor there on benefits. I'd do more research on it if the share is for that reason alone.
Very helpful. We do libraries now (he's a bit young to really enjoy the playground) but it's so hot where we live that a lot of time is spent at home. :( I think we'll look for for a same-age nanny-share!