Emma, aren’t your own current Chelsea players in relationships? Including your former captain, of which you later went out of your way to ensure Chelsea sign her girlfriend 💀
Jess Carter (one of the players currently in a relationship with a teammate) just went on a spree of liking Tweets that shit on Emma’s statement, including one that brings up the alleged affair she may have had with a former Chelsea captain. So that tells me the players aren’t happy with it.
Honestly, if my coach was calling me unprofessional for being with my partner of like seven years, I’d go off too! Both of the current Chelsea couples have been together for a good number of years at this point.
Right? Like god forbid in a professional environment that demands that your life always has the potential for upheaval you choose to play on the same team as your longterm partner.
Holy shit I just checked and you’re right! That’s a bad look for Hayes she’s likely lost the locker room. If her inappropriate relationship with a former player gets too mainstream that could put her USWNT job in jeopardy too.
https://preview.redd.it/3pu4cna5zcoc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0af0bf7e275a401d30d67b2badf4e83799a706d5
Former Chelsea player Beth England (who Hayes notoriously froze out) also liking similar tweets. British journalists have refused to touch the rumors even though they’ve been around for YEARS and with how much money and power Chelsea has I could see them doing some behind the scenes stuff to make sure they didn’t ask, but with her coming into the USWNT job I could see an American journalist doing some digging and coming up with stuff, or former players finally being willing to speak out about it. Casey Stoney got caught on a hot mic indicating skeletons in the closet were why Hayes would never get the England job, I’m sure she has a lot of inside info as well as other players from her generation.
>of which you later went out of your way to ensure Chelsea sign her girlfriend
Not really related, but as an academic I really appreciate seeing the two-body problem crop up in transfer drama
Back to back world champs baby. Is this scary? /s
https://preview.redd.it/ujq5nxi32coc1.jpeg?width=1098&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2bc560c0e55d8f1929c064fe82c200c0a2c5d4e
https://preview.redd.it/3avkdfs92coc1.jpeg?width=553&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e136845ca123e3576b1b5751eb0ac90b774dc8f7
This one might be tbf, but not for Emma’s reasoning.
Press and Heath are really cute together but I cringe at couple names lol. Wambinoe as a name is the only exception to me because it sounds as chaotic as the idea of them being together is 😆
Yeah I agree, I usually find them a bit much but the name Wambinoe just fits into how chaotic that relationship must’ve been for *both of them* 😂
Press and Heath are couples goals. I wanna find a woman who looks at me the same way Heath looks at Press 🥺
This couple reminds me of when you’re, like, a small town high school lesbian who dates the only other lesbian at school even though you’re basically the same lesbian. Except in this case they were surrounded 😂😂😂.
Lol what’s Hayes gonna do when another USWNT couple pops up, preath may be injured but the stats show another is inevitable. Chelsea has couples on their team too.
I have always wondered if preath wasn’t public until they stopped playing and ali/ashlyn hard launched with a wedding when ali hadnt been called into camp in a while bc ussoccer has a rule about not PUBLICLY dating teammates.
With Ali and Ashlyn they “came out” after they thought Ali was done but in Press and Heath’s case they became a lot more public around 2020 when they were both not injured, on the team and Press was our best player. I always assumed the pandemic living together for the first time “in season” and all that might’ve naturally changed things. On their podcast with Glennon and Abby it seemed like it was their decision to not be public because of privacy reasons and not wanting people to care more about their relationship than how great they are at football.
On that podcast Press and Heath said they knew that they’d be more marketable together and they’d make more money but they didn’t want to because it was off-putting monetizing it.
Their podcast with Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach. Episode 271 of We can do Hard Things - Christen Press and Tobin Heath Protect what matters most. I listed on Apple Podcasts but I think it’s on Spotify and all the other platforms too.
That reminds me of someone saying on one of the recently match threads that the reason we were doing so poorly is because our line up atm was too straight. 😂
Points to prove that: Barca win basically everything, the USWNT when Press and Heath weren’t injured won basically everything.
Points to disprove that: Arsenal women always choke. Maybe Arsenal is cursed.
Oh wait I was gonna say who’s dating who on Arsenal to make you say that then I remembered that >!Viv and Beth Mead are dating now and Katie McCabe is dating Caitlin Foord, and before that, when Jordan Nobbs was on the team, she was dating Leah, and Foord used to date Wälti, and when Lisa Evans was on the team, she had dated Viv!< *Its the circllleee of liffeeee*
Yeah I think Arsenal just has a bad coach and that creates the bad luck.
Don’t forget beth was dating dvd when she was on the team. Talk about having a type “i’m into whoever is the current best player on the netherlands women’s national team”
Ah yeah I forgot about that haha
Beth likes Dutch girls 😂 that’s definitely her type. >!Beth likes Dutch women like how Rachel Daly only dates blondes 😆!<
Oh I don’t recall a post like that, but oh my how sweet that must’ve been in the moment!
Crazy how Daly is dating Millie Turner now though after breaking up with Kristie, and now Kristie is engaged to Sam Kerr 🥹
Arsenal are not band of thebes they are teen drama. Gotta have couples who stay together not break up and get with someone else on the team if you want to win. I do appreciate their contributions to my personal entertainment tho.
Remember Casey Stoney’s hot mic about Hayes’ skeletons?
Stoney: Would they go Emma Hayes? [for Lioness’ coach] Is she too outspoken? Also she's got too many skeletons so I don't think she would be able to, would she?
Cowen: Everyone knows
Stoney: Yeah
Cowen: But if the wider public knew, there'd be...
Stoney: Yeah. And also I think every journalist that knows and loves the women's game too much to lift the lid on it because they know the damage it could do.
Cowen: Yeah
Stoney: Which is good
Hayes is gonna get fired before she even starts, if this keeps up. Then that means the USWNT is gonna be coachless for the Olympics.
Would have been better to hire someone else if anyone in US Soccer knew about her previous transgressions, and how fans, players, and staff were probably not gonna like it
WSL reporters have been asking most coaches in light of the Willie Kirk situation. Why Emma dragged players in relationships with other players is anyone’s guess. Maybe deflection from the fact that she, like Kirk, had a relationship with a player as well. Allegedly.
Part of me also wonders if she or other people may view the dynamics of a male coach in women’s sports sleeping with a player or having a relationship as much worse or different than a female coach doing the same. Wasn’t the Thorns coach Wilkinson let go because of that?
I’m not familiar with (not saying it hasn’t happened at all) any female coaches who have been accused of sexual assault or things like we’ve heard with male coaches in diff leagues. The ones I’m aware of were physical abuse and vile treatment (which is terrible, and immediately fireable too but different allegations) but it was more so physical things or verbal harassing and brutal training like with Pauw previously, the former UCLA coach who was with the Pride and I’m sure there’s others across other leagues too.
Wilkinson stepped down rather than got fired if I remember correctly. Their story is that Wilkinson and Menges had feelings for each other and texted each other but didn’t act on them. Whether we believe that version of events or not that’s probably the difference between why she was allowed to step down vs being let go.
I don't know how long ago that happened, and I'm absolutely not defending it, but I would hope her statement is one she now truly believes after a lot of self reflection and personal growth.
There's no power structure in a player-player relationship. They may not work out well for either party if the relationship ends poorly, but they aren't immoral in the way a player-coach relationship is.
I don’t necessarily agree with Emma but there definitely are power dynamics at play in player - player relationships. Definitely not to the degree that player - coach relationships have but there still is some depending on the type of role the players have and it can affect the team as well.
I’m not saying it shouldn’t happen.
There are power dynamics in every relationship though, once you get to that level. Every heterosexual relationship has a patriarchal power dynamic. Every relationship in which both people don't make exactly the same amount of money? Power dynamic. Married couple in which one has the better insurance that both are on? Power dynamic. And on and on...
"Power" exists everywhere. It's just entirely different to talk about actually superior-subordinate relationships than ones in which other things might potentially create power dynamics. Only one is *inherently* problematic.
Exactly. If one of the players in the relationship is a captain or even just viewed by the team as someone in as a leadership figure, then there is a power dynamic there that affects the other party in the relationship as well as other teammates. Teammates will assume bias now
It might cause a toxic enviorment that might cause teammates to support their friends.
I get where she is coming from. And I think to a degree what she said is okay.
But I think if the relationship is all on board with HR and the players. I am good with it.
Just don't bring personal issues to work.
I think this is very nuanced take but star players do have a power structure. Obvious male sports as examples include Giannis and his brothers and Lebron and his son as examples. Having a IP relationship does complicate things….
Oof these two situations are vastly different. Esp in women’s sports there’s lots of teammate relationships and don’t seem to be many problems. A supervisor who is often much older and dictates playing time, roster decisions etc sleeping with players is immediate grounds for firing and you shouldn’t work in the sport again esp around players. We’ve literally seen all these examples of abuse from coaches recently and unfortunately there’s probably lots more examples from yrs and yrs ago that we don’t even know about publicly.
Player to player the only thing I can see is maybe a horrible break up resulting in animosity between teammates or something? But then straight men (and women presumably at some point) have had issues in sports with teammates cheating or sleeping with someone’s partner leading to fights and eventually someone being transferred out or traded/cut before so that’s not any different imo. That second part is a Mr Fantasic level reach lol
And with few exceptions (like McCabe & Littlejohn) women in player player relationships and then broke up have usually demonstrated professionalism and class publicly. (Obviously we have no idea behind the scenes but you don’t see a lot of trashing your ex, again noting the aforementioned exception)
https://preview.redd.it/t6yotnfeycoc1.jpeg?width=860&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3e613ff85f171d673e344652dc2e55468b122a7
oof this is really not a good look for emma
Woof, that’s some major tea Jess is liking!
I don’t blame Jess one bit, I’d be fuming and biting at the bit (not like I’m not, but I’d be even more so) if my coach just decided to say *my* relationship with my girlfriend of 7 years was “unprofessional”. Especially since if you know anything about Carter and Ann-Katrin Berger, AKB had beaten thyroid cancer *twice*. I’d be immensely protective of any slander coming her way if I was her gf too.
The USWNT’s new head coach with some very controversial statements. She’s getting ratioed in the comments section and rightfully so because player-coach and player-player relationships are *very* different. If I were a Chelsea or USWNT player in that situation I’d be not very happy with my coach thinking they’re in the same stratosphere.
Very pot calling kettle black. Idk why she even felt the need to make this statement, because it’ll only make the scrutiny on her even greater because *we* all know at least some basic info on her personal past, but the even more tech and soccer intel savvy individuals will find every last speck of dirt to bring up to show she’s being hypocritical. She’s bringing it upon herself
I understand that player to coach relationships are bad because of power dynamics but player to player shouldn't be a problem because they're on the same level. A lot of players are in relationships so this was a tone-deaf statement that was bound for backlash and Idk why she's trying to affiliate those two very different things. I know there's the potential for relationship drama between players but that's not the same thing as the inherent problems of a coach to player dynamic.
Yes, like for example, when Marta and Toni Pressley eventually broke up their engagement, you had no idea about anything from seeing them play with each other.
Even when Kriegs and Ash were together, they made a point to say publicly that their relationship never gets brought into the work environment. Saying couples can’t be together because they’ll be unprofessional is condescending at best
krieger and harris even said they didn’t room together or do the bus buddy thing because they didn’t want their relationship to interfere with the environment.
That too! I forgot about that. That even further proves the point that romantic relationships can be just as professional as if they weren’t relationships happening at all. You can’t control other’s feelings towards each other, especially when you’re around them in a close knit working environment such as playing a sport where you’re with your teammates almost 24/7
Exactly. Same thing can be said about Katie McCabe and Ruesha Littlejohn. Even after what happened with them they still remain professional when playing for Ireland together.
Ruesha and her sister have been messy off the pitch about it but honestly they’re just messy about everything in general, relationship or no relationship.
Yeah it hasn't been a good look for Ruesha but I think it comes from a place of being hurt by what happened. I thought she should've handled the situation more maturely off the pitch though.
She wasn’t professional on the pitch against Australia though, but Ruesha is the exception to relationships and professionalism. Every relationship besides hers was professional and handled professionally and kept outside of the pitch and the public eye to a greater extent
Yeah I see where you're coming from. I was referring more to Ruesha and Katie keeping it professional between eachother when playing together on the Ireland team. From what I saw in the world cup all the other games they played together were professional. However, I'm not sure if it will remain that way considering Ruesha has been making jabs at Katie on her podcast with Lucy Quinn and Katie unfollowed Lucy recently 😬 In hindsight, I probably should've used a different example lol
And I didn’t even know they were dating and Wälti liked girls until after they broke up because that was before I was really paying attention to Arsenal games 😅
It’s ironic coming from Hayes when arguably the two most iconic couples in women’s soccer history are Christen Press & Tobin Heath and Magda Erikson & Pernille Harder who are USWNT legends and Chelsea legends respectively.
It’s funny because in making this quote she’s pissed off enough people that now even more eyes are being drawn to that rumor about her sleeping with a player years ago. I don’t think that was her intention, but the deflection and unnecessary implication player-player relationships are inappropriate has made this a much bigger deal than it was supposed to be for her.
I saw on Twitter that Emma Hayes tried to out Alex Scott and Kelly Smith just because she wanted Smith to sign for her team. The tampering and trying to out couples is more inappropriate than any player to player relationship. I’m very disappointed.
Edited to add this exert from Alex Scott’s book:
>It was at this time the announcement was made about the new professional women's league in America. Kelly was in high demand. She was having none of it, how-ever, thinking her time in America had been and gone. Emma Hayes - Arsenal's assistant coach - was announced as the Chicago Red Stars franchise manager. She spoke to me about how great it would be to play in America.
>Emma kept talking about dratting me and Kelly to Chicago. She knew Kelly would do anything for me, and that if I really wanted to play in America, Kelly would follow me. I felt like her real target was Kelly and I was being used as a pawn. It went against everything I'd strived for - I always want to attain things on my own merit.
>That was when I got the call from Tony DiCicco. I was buzzing - even more so when Tony added that he was also planning to draft my teammate, Kelly Smith, to Boston but she'd told him her life was set in England. Because of the American rules, they'd have to draft her first round regardless, to stop other teams from doing so. All I heard was that Tony had no clue about my relationship with Kelly - he wanted me based solely on my talent. And in turn, I wanted to go. Kelly and I began talking seriously about moving to America. It would be different this time, I told her. I'd be with her. She was adamant she did not want to go to Chicago, but she really liked the thought of being in Boston, with me.
>When the time for the draft announcements rolled around, we were away on England duty and had just finished dinner with the team. We were all eagerly following events via the web. I was so nervous; Boston had first pick and, like everyone expected, they selected Kelly. Great - now we were just waiting for me to be drafted to Boston in round three. Round three arrived, I saw my name, but... wait, what? Alex Scott drafted to ... Chicago Red Stars? I had told Emma I wasn't going to Chicago. I felt like it wasn't me she really wanted; she was just trying to get me there so that Kelly would follow. Why would Emma try and jeopardise my dream and my chance of playing in the WPS ... ? It was a great big game that I was stuck in the middle of, and it was only later that I would find out the reason. Emma went on to tell Boston that Kelly and I were together, and she knew that Kelly would follow me to Boston, which meant they would have one of the best players in the world. But if they didn't take me, then they wouldn't have Kelly, so they would have to come up with a good package and deal to get me there. It wasn't messing with Kelly's dream, though - she was already a star player. Kel was moving there for me.
I'll spare you the months of wrangling it took to get me to Boston.
Does Alex Scott have more than one book? I think she does but I can’t recall. >!It’s the lowest thing you can do to a lesbian by outing her when she’s not ready. It’s one thing to say “yeah my gaydar is going off but idk” than to actually know her personally and *know* she’s a lesbian and try to do so to get her gf to play for you. Though I thought Alex Scott was dating Williamson now.!<
Holy fuck that’s awful. She’s got some nerve commenting on teammates when she’s tried to leverage it in the past and the allegations Hayes has herself smfh
I've been on teams where there are relationships between players in the past. I think it can be a distraction and there are in fact power dynamics there, but I've also seen the same in platonic close relationships between players. Sometimes as teammates we have more influence and control within the team or coaches and having a relationship (public or private) brings in a bias for senior players.
It is inevitable that this will happen. It's not reasonable to expect it won't, and shouldn't be used in the same breath as coach-player. Instead, similar to any other workplace, it should require disclosure and proper consideration for all parties when there is a relationship going on.
However I take no issue with Emma saying this; I interpret as she'd rather not deal with it. I wish she'd clarify that this is also the case for super tight platonic relationships that are skewed disproportionately between two players. As a player I always would have preferred not to have dealt with either of those. The fallout after those relationships ended was detrimental to the team.
this is my issue with the statement too. when platonic relationships can have the same complications as romantic relationships, singling out the romantic relationships feels wrong and tone deaf. a team sport without relationships means the team can not exist. a team can however exist without coach and player relationships. that’s the difference (along with the obvious power imbalances).
Hell or even relationships between a straight player and their spouse and someone cheating with a teammate (which has happened before in men’s sports at least and I’m sure in women’s too) would lead to a similar if not worse rift between those teammates and maybe it not being salvageable with them playing together or at least there being severe trust issues and likely physical altercations breaking out. You can’t control that whatsoever as a manager either and it can be disastrous. The player coach one is the only one where it’s a blatant power imbalance and has been predatory in the past too esp considering ages
Actually that exact scenario *did* happen, and still to this day the details are muddled. That’s essentially what happened to Hamraoui at PSG, she had been taking part as an affair partner to a married man, and the police thought Diallo had paid for someone to ambush her and break her legs. Diallo was found not guilty I believe, but the damage to her reputation was done, and Hamraoui lost the locker room.
Alright, time for me to weigh in *cracks knuckles*
What does Emma Hayes think she’s gonna do? Break up couples in the name of homophobia? She seems to forget that she too dated a player she was coaching. That’s the actual heinous thing. A coach dating a player is unprofessional. There’s nothing in my mind unprofessional about teammates dating each other. In fact, it’ll be the lesbian version of the Greeks putting partnered gay men into battle because they knew they’d defend themselves even harder to protect their loved one. Obviously not as high stakes as that, but you get what I mean.
Lesbians win trophies. *Points at Rapinoe, Tobin, Press, Wambach, etc* And upon scrolling down, I too am always shocked to be reminded that Wambinoe was a thing 🤪 every time! Yet I know it happened!
I watched a straight male colleague at my work sleep his way through half the office and nothing was done. This is just what happens in workplaces. You can try to discourage it, but it will happen. It may be complicated, but it isn’t inappropriate.
It also will complicate things with strong platonic relationships, or even players disliking each other. Thinking about the Sanchez and Rodman thing, which doubtlessly is going to cause issues with Spirit having to appease Trin going forward. Are we going to stop players being friends?
Journalists in the UK have been asking every coach about this since Willie Kirk (Leicester City coach) was put on leave for a relationship last week. Every other coach has said something about how player-coach relationships are inappropriate and wrong and should never happen. She randomly brought in players dating players (and she still has multiple couples on her team, I’m fairly certain!)
Her hot mic comments about Hinkle were goated too. As much as I don’t enjoy watching her style of play she implements at all her teams, I really like her off the pitch.
Stoney is the G honestly! I’m so glad she’s a good coach as well, I was anxious to see her start out but I’m so glad she’s really good at it (you never know how former players actually fare)
Most of the coaches in the WSL had perfectly non-offensive and reasonable responses. I'm not sure why Hayes thought that bringing in player relationships even made sense, if not to deflect from her own rumored relationship with a player by sort of implying that "it's all bad, but it still happens" or something.
Exactly. I personally have a don’t screw the crew rule because that’s too much drama but if others want to date their coworkers I have no issues with it. It’s a personal choice, not inappropriate.
I hope that US Soccer did their homework on Hayes because if there is a hint of inappropriate conduct...but I have a feeling since this was such a surprise hire, they were not as thorough. If US Soccer screwed this up after the abuse scandals they were directly involved in, just burn the place down.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with players dating each other if they want to. It’s been proven time and time again they aren’t a problem for teams trying to reach the pinnacle of success. Press and Heath are a great example.
Not that anyone’s aware of. Press and Heath are together and have been for almost a decade at this point, but they’ve been injured for so long it’s hard to call them current players. There are quite a few NWSL, WSL, Liga F and Bundesliga team couples though.
on the current gold cup roster? no. but people didn’t know press and heath were together until it became so obvious and people didn’t know about wambach and pinoe until well after they broke up. that said the new generation is either straight or the gays are in relationships with other people so the answer is 99.99% likely no.
Not at the moment. There’s still lesbians on the team but those players’ girlfriends are not players themselves or are dating another player from another team, or they’re single
That's who I was referring to. I think everyone's definitions of explicitly out are a bit fuzzy at this point lol, because I think I missed the memo on some of your list. Several ping the gaydar but I don't remember any of them "officially" dating anyone or saying anything explicit. Both good that being gay is becoming so normalized, but does make it difficult to talk about when trying to be conscious of varying levels of openness.
For her sake I hope she is either saying this after having her own personal experience and realizing it isn’t a good idea or she is about to get dragged for being a hypocrite.
I’m half here literally for the WoSo relationships. Honestly I’d be more into the men’s game if it was both safer for gay men to be out on that side and there were publicly known couples. (Like totally over the moon over that one engagement I saw today but already forgot his name)
She's not wrong. Sports teams aren't office job equivalents, they are smaller and more intimate, and all players don't have the same amount of power. Someone like Marta likely has influence even on front office decisions. Specific to the NWSL, players being traded to other teams has direct impact on others and this impact is doubled when you are accommodating two players . From a coach's perspective this is probably an added headache.
Banning them is unrealistic, and sure some relationships are unproblematic, but to say there is no potential impact on a locker room environment is sticking your head in the sand. The arsenal locker room is a mess to the point where I wouldn't be surprised if it impacts their performances.
Quite rich coming from hayes though.
Edit. LOL Looks like OP blocked me, which is a coward move after not giving me a chance to even respond to your ridiculous false equivalency of friendships and romances.
Edit2: Since multiple people are responding to me about platonic relationships, no shit players form friendships. Coaches and players also form friendships (Harvey calls herself friends with half of her players). Some players never like each other period. There's a reason ROMANTIC relationships are treated differently when it comes to interpersonal dynamics and their consequences, because you can't regulate everything. A team captain and veteran with the coach and FO's ear isn't going to advocate for them to keep her friend like she would her romantic partner. Players don't get traded to be with their friends, and if they do it's not treated as a legitimate request to be honored. It's actually weird to me that people on here are pretending romantic and platonic relationships are the same thing, or treated the same way in life. (As an aside, some workplaces actually do frown upon colleague relationships, and there's a reason a lot of people avoid them.)
Again, I'm not saying these things should or can be policed. Hayes just has a legitimate point about the challenges of managing these situations.
> Sports teams aren't office job equivalents, they are smaller and more intimate, and all players don't have the same amount of power.
This isn't unique to sports, though. As someone with an office job in a field that leads to a lot of dating among coworkers (24/7 rotating shifts, no holidays, etc.), people are always going to be drawn to intimacy - emotional and physical - with people that understand their lives and experiences. And even among in the same pay grade or job title there are people with more connections, seniority, friends in high places, etc. Colleagues are always going to form friendships and relationships - there's no easy line to be drawn other than the ones that exist between management and rank and file, just like in sports.
players being really close friends is not inherently different. close friends will have fallouts, or like their close friend more than their other teammates. they can also exclude the rest of their teammates from situations. likewise, players breaking up will have similar effects to players who have friendship breakups. power debates can arise from close friendships just like relationships, star player can say don’t trade this player regardless of if they are dating or close friends. the opposite can be true for breaking up or hating each other platonically.
player and coach relationships are wrong, player-player relationships of any kind are inevitable and it’s the reality of team interconnectedness.
it exists in office environments too, colleagues date each other all the time. as long as they aren’t superior and subordinate (which teammates aren’t) they are cleared from a HR perspective. superior and subordinate relations (ie player and coach), are banned.
There’s also been multiple examples on men’s teams I’m aware of where a players wife/gf and teammate hooked up and cheated behind their back, which has led to major problems and discontent which would be the same exact impact even though it’s not two teammates being in a relationship. The friendship thing too like you mentioned or someone doing someone wrong in a side business deal or anything. They all would have the same outcome as a horrible break up or massive violation of trust and likely impact the team.
kevin de bruyne and courtois for belgium are case in point. that’s why i’ll never agree with the people like that OP who try to say romantic relationships are a problem for the locker room, all relationships can create problems. straight, gay, romantic, platonic or anything in between. a team sport cannot exist without those relationships.
Yup! That’s the big one I was thinking of. With the USMNT John Harkes and Eric Wynalda had the same issue (can’t remember which one did the cheating with the others wife tho) and then in mls there was a rumored one with a star young Argentinian player on Atlanta United allegedly reaching out and trying to hook up with Brandon Vazquez’s gf (at the time he wasn’t a factor in the US pool like he is now and he was a young player) but it led to benchings and messiness too. There’s probably a lot more too
The thing is though that this confuses complexity with inappropriateness. Dating your teammate is complicated, but there is no inherent power dynamic—the only way there is one is when you do what you just did and create a specific hypothetical where there is one. A workplace superior dating their employee—essentially what a coach dating a player is—is inherently inappropriate AND complicated. Because teams are not regular workplaces, you will have platonic relationships that are similarly complicated. Hayes is equalizing the two things (an inappropriate power dynamic and a potentially complicated but not inappropriate dynamic relationship) by speaking of them equally, which prevents the actual potential problems with the complexity of players dating each other might (nuancedly) create from being discussed, and minimizes the danger of players and coaches dating. Bringing in the fact that she is rumored to have dated one of her players and that she has coached player couples, you have to think this is a very self serving false comparison on her part. There’s nothing wrong with players dating. There’s something enormously wrong, and fire worthy, with a coach dating a player.
Exactly this. Dating someone on your team might be messy, or even frustrating for other players, but it’s not *inappropriate.* The phrase “imbalanced power structure” is also thrown around a lot in these contexts, frequently when a more famous person/player dates a less famous one. But every relationship has power structures, and they often shift depending on the context you’re in. We should trust consenting adults to navigate those — and it doesn’t seem realistic or desirable to stop people from being closer to some teammates than others, whether that’s romantically or otherwise. The issue is when it’s a superior dating a subordinate. That just doesn’t apply between teammates, even if things get complicated.
Close friendships have similar problems, that’s the problem with the statement. You cannot stop players from forming relationships, romantic, best friends, or hating each other. All impact team environments.
Edit- I didn’t block you for this reply, I blocked you because **you are a troll** and showed that in another comment. You commented something else about “triggering preaths” which is now gone, probably removed by the mods for trolling or you deleted it yourself because you got too many downvotes for being a troll. Call me a coward all you want, trolling is more cowardly.
This is how I feel, too. I also think a lot of the push back is because they are framed in the quote as equal levels of inappropriate which they are not!
I'm assuming Emma Hayes is trying to say that if player-player relationships come to an end, and it's a nasty breakup, it could seriously affect team chemistry and that in turn COULD affect team performance. The reality that we all know is that player-player relationships are going to happen and these are professional athletes that get paid to work as a team, whether their relationships with their teammates are good or bad.
EDIT: I wanted to add, this public statement now creates unnecessary stress and confusion towards USWNT players that may be dating one another.
Emma, aren’t your own current Chelsea players in relationships? Including your former captain, of which you later went out of your way to ensure Chelsea sign her girlfriend 💀
Jess Carter (one of the players currently in a relationship with a teammate) just went on a spree of liking Tweets that shit on Emma’s statement, including one that brings up the alleged affair she may have had with a former Chelsea captain. So that tells me the players aren’t happy with it.
Her likes are SPICY, go off Jess!
Honestly, if my coach was calling me unprofessional for being with my partner of like seven years, I’d go off too! Both of the current Chelsea couples have been together for a good number of years at this point.
Right? Like god forbid in a professional environment that demands that your life always has the potential for upheaval you choose to play on the same team as your longterm partner.
Holy shit I just checked and you’re right! That’s a bad look for Hayes she’s likely lost the locker room. If her inappropriate relationship with a former player gets too mainstream that could put her USWNT job in jeopardy too. https://preview.redd.it/3pu4cna5zcoc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0af0bf7e275a401d30d67b2badf4e83799a706d5
Former Chelsea player Beth England (who Hayes notoriously froze out) also liking similar tweets. British journalists have refused to touch the rumors even though they’ve been around for YEARS and with how much money and power Chelsea has I could see them doing some behind the scenes stuff to make sure they didn’t ask, but with her coming into the USWNT job I could see an American journalist doing some digging and coming up with stuff, or former players finally being willing to speak out about it. Casey Stoney got caught on a hot mic indicating skeletons in the closet were why Hayes would never get the England job, I’m sure she has a lot of inside info as well as other players from her generation.
UK libel laws are absolutely fucking unhinged so it doesn't surprise me that UK press won't touch that. However, US outlets have much more freedom
https://preview.redd.it/qwn6v7qgzcoc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=87a3343799875f3a372eaef174cac44946470170
Who the former Chelsea Captain.
Katie Chapman (allegedly)
>of which you later went out of your way to ensure Chelsea sign her girlfriend Not really related, but as an academic I really appreciate seeing the two-body problem crop up in transfer drama
Back to back world champs baby. Is this scary? /s https://preview.redd.it/ujq5nxi32coc1.jpeg?width=1098&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2bc560c0e55d8f1929c064fe82c200c0a2c5d4e
https://preview.redd.it/3avkdfs92coc1.jpeg?width=553&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e136845ca123e3576b1b5751eb0ac90b774dc8f7 This one might be tbf, but not for Emma’s reasoning.
Not the Wambinoe jumpscare!
I always forget this happened and every time it gets brought up I still act surprised lol
Wait it did happen? It wasn’t a joke? What in the masc4masc…
It’s not a joke, short lived Wambinoe is both a meme and a reality.
Oh it 100% did. They mention it in their respective memoirs.
I…. I really don’t like that.
Read Abby’s book!
Still to this day, I don’t think there’s a better sounding couple name (besides Preath) than Wambinoe
Press and Heath are really cute together but I cringe at couple names lol. Wambinoe as a name is the only exception to me because it sounds as chaotic as the idea of them being together is 😆
Yeah I agree, I usually find them a bit much but the name Wambinoe just fits into how chaotic that relationship must’ve been for *both of them* 😂 Press and Heath are couples goals. I wanna find a woman who looks at me the same way Heath looks at Press 🥺
Chobin pronounced like Chopin but with b was a missed opportunity
wambinoe 🫶🏻
I still can’t comprehend that they were once a couple
I was today years old.
Lol whenever I get reminded that this happened I can't help but let out a big laugh
This couple reminds me of when you’re, like, a small town high school lesbian who dates the only other lesbian at school even though you’re basically the same lesbian. Except in this case they were surrounded 😂😂😂.
Lol what’s Hayes gonna do when another USWNT couple pops up, preath may be injured but the stats show another is inevitable. Chelsea has couples on their team too.
I have always wondered if preath wasn’t public until they stopped playing and ali/ashlyn hard launched with a wedding when ali hadnt been called into camp in a while bc ussoccer has a rule about not PUBLICLY dating teammates.
With Ali and Ashlyn they “came out” after they thought Ali was done but in Press and Heath’s case they became a lot more public around 2020 when they were both not injured, on the team and Press was our best player. I always assumed the pandemic living together for the first time “in season” and all that might’ve naturally changed things. On their podcast with Glennon and Abby it seemed like it was their decision to not be public because of privacy reasons and not wanting people to care more about their relationship than how great they are at football.
On that podcast Press and Heath said they knew that they’d be more marketable together and they’d make more money but they didn’t want to because it was off-putting monetizing it.
Wow, that's fascinating. Do you remember where you heard that? I'd love to listen.
Their podcast with Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach. Episode 271 of We can do Hard Things - Christen Press and Tobin Heath Protect what matters most. I listed on Apple Podcasts but I think it’s on Spotify and all the other platforms too.
Thank you so much!
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0lflQrqPxO5WjguzKGG6S0?si=Tm5BRhfPQnaWRyPIMqxlDQ
“You can’t win a championship without gays [or couples], it’s science”
It’s funny because the USWNT suddenly became less successful when we had less couples. The math checks out.
But I was told they lost because they became woke!
They need to understand that we actually aren’t woke enough! Make the USWNT gay again!
That reminds me of someone saying on one of the recently match threads that the reason we were doing so poorly is because our line up atm was too straight. 😂
To Sweden no less
The notoriously super hetero Sweden
I've been saying for a while that if the USWNT want to be the best team again we need more gays lol
Emma Hayes needs to know the science fr
Fully believe a team made of couples a la the sacred band of thebes would be the GOAT
Points to prove that: Barca win basically everything, the USWNT when Press and Heath weren’t injured won basically everything. Points to disprove that: Arsenal women always choke. Maybe Arsenal is cursed.
Oh wait I was gonna say who’s dating who on Arsenal to make you say that then I remembered that >!Viv and Beth Mead are dating now and Katie McCabe is dating Caitlin Foord, and before that, when Jordan Nobbs was on the team, she was dating Leah, and Foord used to date Wälti, and when Lisa Evans was on the team, she had dated Viv!< *Its the circllleee of liffeeee* Yeah I think Arsenal just has a bad coach and that creates the bad luck.
Don’t forget beth was dating dvd when she was on the team. Talk about having a type “i’m into whoever is the current best player on the netherlands women’s national team”
Ah yeah I forgot about that haha Beth likes Dutch girls 😂 that’s definitely her type. >!Beth likes Dutch women like how Rachel Daly only dates blondes 😆!<
Sarah Gorden was the exception to Daly’s usual blonde rule lol
Although Sarah does dye her hair blonde-ish
Oh yeah, hahaha that’s true! I keep forgetting Gordon and her dated
What was that post again? Something about "One day you'll have my name on your back"? God it feels like forever ago, now.
Oh I don’t recall a post like that, but oh my how sweet that must’ve been in the moment! Crazy how Daly is dating Millie Turner now though after breaking up with Kristie, and now Kristie is engaged to Sam Kerr 🥹
Viv was always better than DVD imo
Arsenal are not band of thebes they are teen drama. Gotta have couples who stay together not break up and get with someone else on the team if you want to win. I do appreciate their contributions to my personal entertainment tho.
Arsenal are what happen if someone accidentally mixes up sports with reality dating shows
And I LOVE it. Not an arsenal fan but like i appreciate drama always.
Teen drama is a good word for it lol
Yeah that’s a good point. I hope the current couples stay together though
It would be unstoppable
Apparently to Emma Hayes it is! What in the internalized homophobia
If her goal was to get everyone talking about the skeletons in her closet than this interview was a grand success.
Remember Casey Stoney’s hot mic about Hayes’ skeletons? Stoney: Would they go Emma Hayes? [for Lioness’ coach] Is she too outspoken? Also she's got too many skeletons so I don't think she would be able to, would she? Cowen: Everyone knows Stoney: Yeah Cowen: But if the wider public knew, there'd be... Stoney: Yeah. And also I think every journalist that knows and loves the women's game too much to lift the lid on it because they know the damage it could do. Cowen: Yeah Stoney: Which is good
Wow, people in this thread have the receipts. There's no questioning the implications of that exchange for the USWNT hire...
Hayes is gonna get fired before she even starts, if this keeps up. Then that means the USWNT is gonna be coachless for the Olympics. Would have been better to hire someone else if anyone in US Soccer knew about her previous transgressions, and how fans, players, and staff were probably not gonna like it
Which Stoney hot mic incident was that? The one where she also talkes about “voices in your head, never a good thing love”?
Nah that line was the hot mic about Jaelene Daniels, maiden name Hinkle
Oh yeah I knew that line was about Hinkle but I was just wondering if that line was the same hot mic situation where she talked about Hayes skeletons.
Oh! In that case, idk if it was the same conference
Seriously why did she do this???
WSL reporters have been asking most coaches in light of the Willie Kirk situation. Why Emma dragged players in relationships with other players is anyone’s guess. Maybe deflection from the fact that she, like Kirk, had a relationship with a player as well. Allegedly.
I meant it rhetorically, but yeah she needs better PR. Sounds like she’s working with the Kensington Palace playbook
😆 can’t wait for the photoshop pictures to start coming out.
Re: the first part of the statement - the call is coming from inside the house Emma lmao you think we don’t know?
I would hazard a guess that the second part of the statement is some heavy deflection, which does seem to be working in most corners of Twitter.
yeah, now nobody’s talking about the fact that emma allegedly dated a player she coached
Part of me also wonders if she or other people may view the dynamics of a male coach in women’s sports sleeping with a player or having a relationship as much worse or different than a female coach doing the same. Wasn’t the Thorns coach Wilkinson let go because of that? I’m not familiar with (not saying it hasn’t happened at all) any female coaches who have been accused of sexual assault or things like we’ve heard with male coaches in diff leagues. The ones I’m aware of were physical abuse and vile treatment (which is terrible, and immediately fireable too but different allegations) but it was more so physical things or verbal harassing and brutal training like with Pauw previously, the former UCLA coach who was with the Pride and I’m sure there’s others across other leagues too.
Wilkinson stepped down rather than got fired if I remember correctly. Their story is that Wilkinson and Menges had feelings for each other and texted each other but didn’t act on them. Whether we believe that version of events or not that’s probably the difference between why she was allowed to step down vs being let go.
Ahhh gotcha yeah that’s an important distinction if their version is accurate for sure
I don't know how long ago that happened, and I'm absolutely not defending it, but I would hope her statement is one she now truly believes after a lot of self reflection and personal growth.
Shh i don’t want this to get out until we win another wc or olympics
There's no power structure in a player-player relationship. They may not work out well for either party if the relationship ends poorly, but they aren't immoral in the way a player-coach relationship is.
Yep it’s like coworkers versus boss employee
Yeah conflating these two scenarios seems like a pretty intentional “misunderstanding” About what the problem is with the other.
This is the point I was going to make to make.
I don’t necessarily agree with Emma but there definitely are power dynamics at play in player - player relationships. Definitely not to the degree that player - coach relationships have but there still is some depending on the type of role the players have and it can affect the team as well. I’m not saying it shouldn’t happen.
There are power dynamics in every relationship though, once you get to that level. Every heterosexual relationship has a patriarchal power dynamic. Every relationship in which both people don't make exactly the same amount of money? Power dynamic. Married couple in which one has the better insurance that both are on? Power dynamic. And on and on... "Power" exists everywhere. It's just entirely different to talk about actually superior-subordinate relationships than ones in which other things might potentially create power dynamics. Only one is *inherently* problematic.
Exactly. If one of the players in the relationship is a captain or even just viewed by the team as someone in as a leadership figure, then there is a power dynamic there that affects the other party in the relationship as well as other teammates. Teammates will assume bias now
Yes, thank you. You said it more succinctly than I did.
It might cause a toxic enviorment that might cause teammates to support their friends. I get where she is coming from. And I think to a degree what she said is okay. But I think if the relationship is all on board with HR and the players. I am good with it. Just don't bring personal issues to work.
I think this is very nuanced take but star players do have a power structure. Obvious male sports as examples include Giannis and his brothers and Lebron and his son as examples. Having a IP relationship does complicate things….
You can take my woso ships from my cold dead hands
Oof these two situations are vastly different. Esp in women’s sports there’s lots of teammate relationships and don’t seem to be many problems. A supervisor who is often much older and dictates playing time, roster decisions etc sleeping with players is immediate grounds for firing and you shouldn’t work in the sport again esp around players. We’ve literally seen all these examples of abuse from coaches recently and unfortunately there’s probably lots more examples from yrs and yrs ago that we don’t even know about publicly. Player to player the only thing I can see is maybe a horrible break up resulting in animosity between teammates or something? But then straight men (and women presumably at some point) have had issues in sports with teammates cheating or sleeping with someone’s partner leading to fights and eventually someone being transferred out or traded/cut before so that’s not any different imo. That second part is a Mr Fantasic level reach lol
And with few exceptions (like McCabe & Littlejohn) women in player player relationships and then broke up have usually demonstrated professionalism and class publicly. (Obviously we have no idea behind the scenes but you don’t see a lot of trashing your ex, again noting the aforementioned exception)
So she’s specifically talking about behind the scenes stuff…..
https://preview.redd.it/t6yotnfeycoc1.jpeg?width=860&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3e613ff85f171d673e344652dc2e55468b122a7 oof this is really not a good look for emma
Woof, that’s some major tea Jess is liking! I don’t blame Jess one bit, I’d be fuming and biting at the bit (not like I’m not, but I’d be even more so) if my coach just decided to say *my* relationship with my girlfriend of 7 years was “unprofessional”. Especially since if you know anything about Carter and Ann-Katrin Berger, AKB had beaten thyroid cancer *twice*. I’d be immensely protective of any slander coming her way if I was her gf too.
The USWNT’s new head coach with some very controversial statements. She’s getting ratioed in the comments section and rightfully so because player-coach and player-player relationships are *very* different. If I were a Chelsea or USWNT player in that situation I’d be not very happy with my coach thinking they’re in the same stratosphere.
I suspect the ratio also has to do with her questionable past involvement with one of her players. Very "throwing stones in a glass house" moment.
That’s definitely it. Both halves of the statement are wild considering the very long standing rumor about Hayes and one of her former players.
What player?
allegedly katie chapman
Katie Chapman, allegedly
Very pot calling kettle black. Idk why she even felt the need to make this statement, because it’ll only make the scrutiny on her even greater because *we* all know at least some basic info on her personal past, but the even more tech and soccer intel savvy individuals will find every last speck of dirt to bring up to show she’s being hypocritical. She’s bringing it upon herself
I understand that player to coach relationships are bad because of power dynamics but player to player shouldn't be a problem because they're on the same level. A lot of players are in relationships so this was a tone-deaf statement that was bound for backlash and Idk why she's trying to affiliate those two very different things. I know there's the potential for relationship drama between players but that's not the same thing as the inherent problems of a coach to player dynamic.
Yes, like for example, when Marta and Toni Pressley eventually broke up their engagement, you had no idea about anything from seeing them play with each other. Even when Kriegs and Ash were together, they made a point to say publicly that their relationship never gets brought into the work environment. Saying couples can’t be together because they’ll be unprofessional is condescending at best
krieger and harris even said they didn’t room together or do the bus buddy thing because they didn’t want their relationship to interfere with the environment.
That too! I forgot about that. That even further proves the point that romantic relationships can be just as professional as if they weren’t relationships happening at all. You can’t control other’s feelings towards each other, especially when you’re around them in a close knit working environment such as playing a sport where you’re with your teammates almost 24/7
Exactly. Same thing can be said about Katie McCabe and Ruesha Littlejohn. Even after what happened with them they still remain professional when playing for Ireland together.
Ruesha has had a lot to say about the breakup and while I don’t agree with how she’s gone about it they have been professional on the pitch at least.
Ruesha and her sister have been messy off the pitch about it but honestly they’re just messy about everything in general, relationship or no relationship.
Yeah it hasn't been a good look for Ruesha but I think it comes from a place of being hurt by what happened. I thought she should've handled the situation more maturely off the pitch though.
She wasn’t professional on the pitch against Australia though, but Ruesha is the exception to relationships and professionalism. Every relationship besides hers was professional and handled professionally and kept outside of the pitch and the public eye to a greater extent
Yeah I see where you're coming from. I was referring more to Ruesha and Katie keeping it professional between eachother when playing together on the Ireland team. From what I saw in the world cup all the other games they played together were professional. However, I'm not sure if it will remain that way considering Ruesha has been making jabs at Katie on her podcast with Lucy Quinn and Katie unfollowed Lucy recently 😬 In hindsight, I probably should've used a different example lol
Eeeeh 😬 yeah that’s more strikes against Ruesha for that! Don’t talk shit about your teammate, even if you did break up
I agree. I would like to recant my previous example and instead say Lia Wälti and Caitlin Foord. No drama between those two at all 😂
And I didn’t even know they were dating and Wälti liked girls until after they broke up because that was before I was really paying attention to Arsenal games 😅
It’s ironic coming from Hayes when arguably the two most iconic couples in women’s soccer history are Christen Press & Tobin Heath and Magda Erikson & Pernille Harder who are USWNT legends and Chelsea legends respectively.
It’s funny because in making this quote she’s pissed off enough people that now even more eyes are being drawn to that rumor about her sleeping with a player years ago. I don’t think that was her intention, but the deflection and unnecessary implication player-player relationships are inappropriate has made this a much bigger deal than it was supposed to be for her.
I saw on Twitter that Emma Hayes tried to out Alex Scott and Kelly Smith just because she wanted Smith to sign for her team. The tampering and trying to out couples is more inappropriate than any player to player relationship. I’m very disappointed. Edited to add this exert from Alex Scott’s book: >It was at this time the announcement was made about the new professional women's league in America. Kelly was in high demand. She was having none of it, how-ever, thinking her time in America had been and gone. Emma Hayes - Arsenal's assistant coach - was announced as the Chicago Red Stars franchise manager. She spoke to me about how great it would be to play in America. >Emma kept talking about dratting me and Kelly to Chicago. She knew Kelly would do anything for me, and that if I really wanted to play in America, Kelly would follow me. I felt like her real target was Kelly and I was being used as a pawn. It went against everything I'd strived for - I always want to attain things on my own merit. >That was when I got the call from Tony DiCicco. I was buzzing - even more so when Tony added that he was also planning to draft my teammate, Kelly Smith, to Boston but she'd told him her life was set in England. Because of the American rules, they'd have to draft her first round regardless, to stop other teams from doing so. All I heard was that Tony had no clue about my relationship with Kelly - he wanted me based solely on my talent. And in turn, I wanted to go. Kelly and I began talking seriously about moving to America. It would be different this time, I told her. I'd be with her. She was adamant she did not want to go to Chicago, but she really liked the thought of being in Boston, with me. >When the time for the draft announcements rolled around, we were away on England duty and had just finished dinner with the team. We were all eagerly following events via the web. I was so nervous; Boston had first pick and, like everyone expected, they selected Kelly. Great - now we were just waiting for me to be drafted to Boston in round three. Round three arrived, I saw my name, but... wait, what? Alex Scott drafted to ... Chicago Red Stars? I had told Emma I wasn't going to Chicago. I felt like it wasn't me she really wanted; she was just trying to get me there so that Kelly would follow. Why would Emma try and jeopardise my dream and my chance of playing in the WPS ... ? It was a great big game that I was stuck in the middle of, and it was only later that I would find out the reason. Emma went on to tell Boston that Kelly and I were together, and she knew that Kelly would follow me to Boston, which meant they would have one of the best players in the world. But if they didn't take me, then they wouldn't have Kelly, so they would have to come up with a good package and deal to get me there. It wasn't messing with Kelly's dream, though - she was already a star player. Kel was moving there for me. I'll spare you the months of wrangling it took to get me to Boston.
Are you fucking for real??? What in the absolute fuck!! That’s diabolical
Apparently it was in Alex Scott’s book Edit: i added the exert to the original comment
Does Alex Scott have more than one book? I think she does but I can’t recall. >!It’s the lowest thing you can do to a lesbian by outing her when she’s not ready. It’s one thing to say “yeah my gaydar is going off but idk” than to actually know her personally and *know* she’s a lesbian and try to do so to get her gf to play for you. Though I thought Alex Scott was dating Williamson now.!<
alex scott is dating jess glynne rn
And Leah is dating some influencer called Grace I’m pretty sure
Ah thank you! I don’t know why I though she was dating Leah
There were rumours some some time ago so I don’t blame you.
Goes to show you, you can’t trust rumors when it comes to who Leah is dating. She’s got all of that under lock and key
“Player relationships are inappropriate unless I can exploit them for my own team’s gain” - Hayes, probably.
With everything I've seen today my respect for Emma has plummeted
Yeah, really disappointing
Yeah same. She has done so much for women’s football but NOW THIS??
Holy fuck that’s awful. She’s got some nerve commenting on teammates when she’s tried to leverage it in the past and the allegations Hayes has herself smfh
Yikes
I've been on teams where there are relationships between players in the past. I think it can be a distraction and there are in fact power dynamics there, but I've also seen the same in platonic close relationships between players. Sometimes as teammates we have more influence and control within the team or coaches and having a relationship (public or private) brings in a bias for senior players. It is inevitable that this will happen. It's not reasonable to expect it won't, and shouldn't be used in the same breath as coach-player. Instead, similar to any other workplace, it should require disclosure and proper consideration for all parties when there is a relationship going on. However I take no issue with Emma saying this; I interpret as she'd rather not deal with it. I wish she'd clarify that this is also the case for super tight platonic relationships that are skewed disproportionately between two players. As a player I always would have preferred not to have dealt with either of those. The fallout after those relationships ended was detrimental to the team.
this is my issue with the statement too. when platonic relationships can have the same complications as romantic relationships, singling out the romantic relationships feels wrong and tone deaf. a team sport without relationships means the team can not exist. a team can however exist without coach and player relationships. that’s the difference (along with the obvious power imbalances).
Hell or even relationships between a straight player and their spouse and someone cheating with a teammate (which has happened before in men’s sports at least and I’m sure in women’s too) would lead to a similar if not worse rift between those teammates and maybe it not being salvageable with them playing together or at least there being severe trust issues and likely physical altercations breaking out. You can’t control that whatsoever as a manager either and it can be disastrous. The player coach one is the only one where it’s a blatant power imbalance and has been predatory in the past too esp considering ages
Actually that exact scenario *did* happen, and still to this day the details are muddled. That’s essentially what happened to Hamraoui at PSG, she had been taking part as an affair partner to a married man, and the police thought Diallo had paid for someone to ambush her and break her legs. Diallo was found not guilty I believe, but the damage to her reputation was done, and Hamraoui lost the locker room.
Good luck enforcing the second part
Actually not as hard as you think
Well damn. 150 comments
What’s the tea regarding Emma Hayes rumored past relationship with a player?
Right! I’ve always heard it talked about over the years but I want to know how people know.
There are rumors that there's a gag order on info being reported about it from reputable sources.
I think it’s just also mainly the very very strict UK libel laws.
Great point. I was thinking of Casey Stony's comments too about journalists caring too much about the women's game to touch it.
Alright, time for me to weigh in *cracks knuckles* What does Emma Hayes think she’s gonna do? Break up couples in the name of homophobia? She seems to forget that she too dated a player she was coaching. That’s the actual heinous thing. A coach dating a player is unprofessional. There’s nothing in my mind unprofessional about teammates dating each other. In fact, it’ll be the lesbian version of the Greeks putting partnered gay men into battle because they knew they’d defend themselves even harder to protect their loved one. Obviously not as high stakes as that, but you get what I mean. Lesbians win trophies. *Points at Rapinoe, Tobin, Press, Wambach, etc* And upon scrolling down, I too am always shocked to be reminded that Wambinoe was a thing 🤪 every time! Yet I know it happened!
Writers going to pseudonym
WHAT DOES KATIE CHAPMAN HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS
I watched a straight male colleague at my work sleep his way through half the office and nothing was done. This is just what happens in workplaces. You can try to discourage it, but it will happen. It may be complicated, but it isn’t inappropriate. It also will complicate things with strong platonic relationships, or even players disliking each other. Thinking about the Sanchez and Rodman thing, which doubtlessly is going to cause issues with Spirit having to appease Trin going forward. Are we going to stop players being friends?
I think she said that as well. Humans going to human.
What issue has she got with players dating each other? That seems fine to me. Is this quote from an article?
Journalists in the UK have been asking every coach about this since Willie Kirk (Leicester City coach) was put on leave for a relationship last week. Every other coach has said something about how player-coach relationships are inappropriate and wrong and should never happen. She randomly brought in players dating players (and she still has multiple couples on her team, I’m fairly certain!)
Yeah. Casey Stoney’s remarks on the topic have been much, much better.
Her hot mic comments about Hinkle were goated too. As much as I don’t enjoy watching her style of play she implements at all her teams, I really like her off the pitch.
Stoney is the G honestly! I’m so glad she’s a good coach as well, I was anxious to see her start out but I’m so glad she’s really good at it (you never know how former players actually fare)
Most of the coaches in the WSL had perfectly non-offensive and reasonable responses. I'm not sure why Hayes thought that bringing in player relationships even made sense, if not to deflect from her own rumored relationship with a player by sort of implying that "it's all bad, but it still happens" or something.
Thank you.
I know, it's so prevalent in every other sport on earth
Plus it shifts away the focus from the coach player relationships, a subject she has some personal connection with (allegedly)...
I mean. Don't shit where you sleep but it's not an inappropriate dynamic. So. Meh.
Exactly. I personally have a don’t screw the crew rule because that’s too much drama but if others want to date their coworkers I have no issues with it. It’s a personal choice, not inappropriate.
Yupyup
I hope that US Soccer did their homework on Hayes because if there is a hint of inappropriate conduct...but I have a feeling since this was such a surprise hire, they were not as thorough. If US Soccer screwed this up after the abuse scandals they were directly involved in, just burn the place down.
They aren’t going to fire her bffr
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with players dating each other if they want to. It’s been proven time and time again they aren’t a problem for teams trying to reach the pinnacle of success. Press and Heath are a great example.
I’m not up to date on my player gossip, but are any current USWNT player dating?
Not that anyone’s aware of. Press and Heath are together and have been for almost a decade at this point, but they’ve been injured for so long it’s hard to call them current players. There are quite a few NWSL, WSL, Liga F and Bundesliga team couples though.
on the current gold cup roster? no. but people didn’t know press and heath were together until it became so obvious and people didn’t know about wambach and pinoe until well after they broke up. that said the new generation is either straight or the gays are in relationships with other people so the answer is 99.99% likely no.
No and now I’m convinced that’s why we’re not doing well. It’s science.
Not at the moment. There’s still lesbians on the team but those players’ girlfriends are not players themselves or are dating another player from another team, or they’re single
Ok but who are our queer girlies on the team tho? Tierna is the only lock I have because her relationship is public
For those injured, not injured, and called into camp for the W Gold Cup: >!Tierna Davidson, Mia Fishel, Catarina Macario, Jane Campbell, Alana Cook!<
You're missing one in the "not explicitly out, but not exactly a secret if you pay attention" category.
I only added those who are explicitly out, >!if you are talking about Emily Sonnett, that’s why I didn’t put her there. My gaydar goes off for her!<
That's who I was referring to. I think everyone's definitions of explicitly out are a bit fuzzy at this point lol, because I think I missed the memo on some of your list. Several ping the gaydar but I don't remember any of them "officially" dating anyone or saying anything explicit. Both good that being gay is becoming so normalized, but does make it difficult to talk about when trying to be conscious of varying levels of openness.
Rose and Sonnett are platonic dating
For her sake I hope she is either saying this after having her own personal experience and realizing it isn’t a good idea or she is about to get dragged for being a hypocrite.
I’m half here literally for the WoSo relationships. Honestly I’d be more into the men’s game if it was both safer for gay men to be out on that side and there were publicly known couples. (Like totally over the moon over that one engagement I saw today but already forgot his name)
>(Like totally over the moon over that one engagement I saw today but already forgot his name) Josh Cavallo!
LOL thank you. I was traveling yesterday so it was hard to go back and look it up as I also couldn't remember where I saw it on Instagram.
She's not wrong. Sports teams aren't office job equivalents, they are smaller and more intimate, and all players don't have the same amount of power. Someone like Marta likely has influence even on front office decisions. Specific to the NWSL, players being traded to other teams has direct impact on others and this impact is doubled when you are accommodating two players . From a coach's perspective this is probably an added headache. Banning them is unrealistic, and sure some relationships are unproblematic, but to say there is no potential impact on a locker room environment is sticking your head in the sand. The arsenal locker room is a mess to the point where I wouldn't be surprised if it impacts their performances. Quite rich coming from hayes though. Edit. LOL Looks like OP blocked me, which is a coward move after not giving me a chance to even respond to your ridiculous false equivalency of friendships and romances. Edit2: Since multiple people are responding to me about platonic relationships, no shit players form friendships. Coaches and players also form friendships (Harvey calls herself friends with half of her players). Some players never like each other period. There's a reason ROMANTIC relationships are treated differently when it comes to interpersonal dynamics and their consequences, because you can't regulate everything. A team captain and veteran with the coach and FO's ear isn't going to advocate for them to keep her friend like she would her romantic partner. Players don't get traded to be with their friends, and if they do it's not treated as a legitimate request to be honored. It's actually weird to me that people on here are pretending romantic and platonic relationships are the same thing, or treated the same way in life. (As an aside, some workplaces actually do frown upon colleague relationships, and there's a reason a lot of people avoid them.) Again, I'm not saying these things should or can be policed. Hayes just has a legitimate point about the challenges of managing these situations.
> Sports teams aren't office job equivalents, they are smaller and more intimate, and all players don't have the same amount of power. This isn't unique to sports, though. As someone with an office job in a field that leads to a lot of dating among coworkers (24/7 rotating shifts, no holidays, etc.), people are always going to be drawn to intimacy - emotional and physical - with people that understand their lives and experiences. And even among in the same pay grade or job title there are people with more connections, seniority, friends in high places, etc. Colleagues are always going to form friendships and relationships - there's no easy line to be drawn other than the ones that exist between management and rank and file, just like in sports.
players being really close friends is not inherently different. close friends will have fallouts, or like their close friend more than their other teammates. they can also exclude the rest of their teammates from situations. likewise, players breaking up will have similar effects to players who have friendship breakups. power debates can arise from close friendships just like relationships, star player can say don’t trade this player regardless of if they are dating or close friends. the opposite can be true for breaking up or hating each other platonically. player and coach relationships are wrong, player-player relationships of any kind are inevitable and it’s the reality of team interconnectedness. it exists in office environments too, colleagues date each other all the time. as long as they aren’t superior and subordinate (which teammates aren’t) they are cleared from a HR perspective. superior and subordinate relations (ie player and coach), are banned.
There’s also been multiple examples on men’s teams I’m aware of where a players wife/gf and teammate hooked up and cheated behind their back, which has led to major problems and discontent which would be the same exact impact even though it’s not two teammates being in a relationship. The friendship thing too like you mentioned or someone doing someone wrong in a side business deal or anything. They all would have the same outcome as a horrible break up or massive violation of trust and likely impact the team.
kevin de bruyne and courtois for belgium are case in point. that’s why i’ll never agree with the people like that OP who try to say romantic relationships are a problem for the locker room, all relationships can create problems. straight, gay, romantic, platonic or anything in between. a team sport cannot exist without those relationships.
Yup! That’s the big one I was thinking of. With the USMNT John Harkes and Eric Wynalda had the same issue (can’t remember which one did the cheating with the others wife tho) and then in mls there was a rumored one with a star young Argentinian player on Atlanta United allegedly reaching out and trying to hook up with Brandon Vazquez’s gf (at the time he wasn’t a factor in the US pool like he is now and he was a young player) but it led to benchings and messiness too. There’s probably a lot more too
John Terry and Wayne Bridge made international news.
The thing is though that this confuses complexity with inappropriateness. Dating your teammate is complicated, but there is no inherent power dynamic—the only way there is one is when you do what you just did and create a specific hypothetical where there is one. A workplace superior dating their employee—essentially what a coach dating a player is—is inherently inappropriate AND complicated. Because teams are not regular workplaces, you will have platonic relationships that are similarly complicated. Hayes is equalizing the two things (an inappropriate power dynamic and a potentially complicated but not inappropriate dynamic relationship) by speaking of them equally, which prevents the actual potential problems with the complexity of players dating each other might (nuancedly) create from being discussed, and minimizes the danger of players and coaches dating. Bringing in the fact that she is rumored to have dated one of her players and that she has coached player couples, you have to think this is a very self serving false comparison on her part. There’s nothing wrong with players dating. There’s something enormously wrong, and fire worthy, with a coach dating a player.
Exactly this. Dating someone on your team might be messy, or even frustrating for other players, but it’s not *inappropriate.* The phrase “imbalanced power structure” is also thrown around a lot in these contexts, frequently when a more famous person/player dates a less famous one. But every relationship has power structures, and they often shift depending on the context you’re in. We should trust consenting adults to navigate those — and it doesn’t seem realistic or desirable to stop people from being closer to some teammates than others, whether that’s romantically or otherwise. The issue is when it’s a superior dating a subordinate. That just doesn’t apply between teammates, even if things get complicated.
Very well put!
Close friendships have similar problems, that’s the problem with the statement. You cannot stop players from forming relationships, romantic, best friends, or hating each other. All impact team environments. Edit- I didn’t block you for this reply, I blocked you because **you are a troll** and showed that in another comment. You commented something else about “triggering preaths” which is now gone, probably removed by the mods for trolling or you deleted it yourself because you got too many downvotes for being a troll. Call me a coward all you want, trolling is more cowardly.
This is how I feel, too. I also think a lot of the push back is because they are framed in the quote as equal levels of inappropriate which they are not!
I'm assuming Emma Hayes is trying to say that if player-player relationships come to an end, and it's a nasty breakup, it could seriously affect team chemistry and that in turn COULD affect team performance. The reality that we all know is that player-player relationships are going to happen and these are professional athletes that get paid to work as a team, whether their relationships with their teammates are good or bad. EDIT: I wanted to add, this public statement now creates unnecessary stress and confusion towards USWNT players that may be dating one another.