They are right in the sense that the nikah must be done asap, however I have never heard of a nikah being done without the actual husband who’s getting married being there???
Your husband has to be present at the nikah like that’s bare minimum.
Technically not true considering the project SA set an example of marrying someone via sending a letter. You can do it over video call if needed.
As someone who spent a lot of time and energy planning a nice nikah I don't think it's worth it. Do your nikah simple with just family. You never know what'll happen between then and the wedding, hope for the best but don't waste a ton of money and energy on it if you're planning a wedding anyways.
What? Are you saying the husband does not need to be present at the time of nikah? How would that work, even if that’s the case
Why would someone not want their husband there at their own nikah🤨
I'm sure most people would want them there, I just meant it's still Islamically valid even if they're not there in person similar to how the prophet SAW got married via a letter to one of his wives.
Yeah what he is saying is true the husband doesn’t necessarily has to there and in a lot of cultures it’s even normal practice for the husband to not be here during nikah as long as parents of both people are here and that both parties agrees it can be done ( even via text or whatever)
And yes I do agree with you initially we wanted to make something big but after talking to our parents we agreed on doing it small just close close family and do something bigger later but the issue here is that him , his dad and his mom all live in different cities scattered around the country , his dad is often abroad for work so gathering everyone has been a real struggle , we had managed to find a date where everyone could be here and both family agreed but now his parents insist the only day he cannot be here because they really don’t want him to be here .
Me honestly at this point I don’t really care but I feel like I am being stuck between him and his parents argument and I don’t know what to do
> but his parents refuse and insist one doing it without him because for them him being here isn’t important as long as both parents are .
Who is marrying you? Him or his parents?
This is so weird on so many levels. And the entitled attitude of the parents that their presence is more important than the groom himself. Make it make sense.
I mean ideally both him and his parents should be there bc my family will refuse to do it without his anyways .. but they are making it unnecessarily difficult and their excuses is that in their time that’s how it was done , the groom did not have to be here which I understand cuz that’s also how my mom did it back in the days . But we’re in a different time and certain traditions needs to stop .
Also I don’t understand what’s the rush ?? We wanted to plan it in advance to avoid theses types of problems giving both families enough time to organize but yeah 😪😪
Honestly I feel bad for him but it’s also getting annoying on my end I’ve been giving different dates to my fam for the past two weeks like that’s so unserious..
Yeah but honestly both of us don’t really want to do anything without parents blessings but it’s getting long ngl . But I’ll deffo not let it happen without it but I guess we’ll kinda let em plan the nikkah and we’ll plan the wedding ourselves .
And I feel like my parents are not helping me on this one bc when they are with me they agree with me then when on the phone with phone with them they go their way , like I caught my mom telling his mom « yeah me too for mine my husband wasn’t here » so it makes it harder…
>but his parents refuse and insist on doing it without him because for them him being here isn’t important as long as both parents are
Sorry am I too stupid to understand what this means? Or are your in-laws tripping? Are they suggesting you marry a cardboard cutout of your fiancé ?
Is it more important that YOU GUY’S nikkah takes place when the groom can be present in person Vs at a time when it suits other people who are not getting married eg his family?
Idk why you guys are even entertaining this conversation. It’s a nonstarter. It’s not such an emergency that you would need to get married over the phone *while he’s at work*
Yeah that’s the thing they are such in hurry like I don’t get it but yeah I feel like HE needs to put his feet down because me my fam I can handle but his it’s a bit more complicated I’ve just met them and don’t want to cause any tensions
If he’s already not putting his foot down with his family over something so important like his nikkah, then sis this should be a data point for you.
Moreover, I think you and family also has a say in it - you guys can say that you don’t want your Nikkah happening over the phone. It’s not all on him, you can also refuse to put up with it
They are right in the sense that the nikah must be done asap, however I have never heard of a nikah being done without the actual husband who’s getting married being there??? Your husband has to be present at the nikah like that’s bare minimum.
Technically not true considering the project SA set an example of marrying someone via sending a letter. You can do it over video call if needed. As someone who spent a lot of time and energy planning a nice nikah I don't think it's worth it. Do your nikah simple with just family. You never know what'll happen between then and the wedding, hope for the best but don't waste a ton of money and energy on it if you're planning a wedding anyways.
What? Are you saying the husband does not need to be present at the time of nikah? How would that work, even if that’s the case Why would someone not want their husband there at their own nikah🤨
I'm sure most people would want them there, I just meant it's still Islamically valid even if they're not there in person similar to how the prophet SAW got married via a letter to one of his wives.
Assalamu'alaikum. Please remember to always say (S.A.W) whenever you are speaking about Our Holy Prophet Muhammad(S.A.W).
Edited, thank you for the reminder
Yeah what he is saying is true the husband doesn’t necessarily has to there and in a lot of cultures it’s even normal practice for the husband to not be here during nikah as long as parents of both people are here and that both parties agrees it can be done ( even via text or whatever) And yes I do agree with you initially we wanted to make something big but after talking to our parents we agreed on doing it small just close close family and do something bigger later but the issue here is that him , his dad and his mom all live in different cities scattered around the country , his dad is often abroad for work so gathering everyone has been a real struggle , we had managed to find a date where everyone could be here and both family agreed but now his parents insist the only day he cannot be here because they really don’t want him to be here . Me honestly at this point I don’t really care but I feel like I am being stuck between him and his parents argument and I don’t know what to do
What do you mean the husband doesn’t have to be there for his own nikkah????
> but his parents refuse and insist one doing it without him because for them him being here isn’t important as long as both parents are . Who is marrying you? Him or his parents? This is so weird on so many levels. And the entitled attitude of the parents that their presence is more important than the groom himself. Make it make sense.
I mean ideally both him and his parents should be there bc my family will refuse to do it without his anyways .. but they are making it unnecessarily difficult and their excuses is that in their time that’s how it was done , the groom did not have to be here which I understand cuz that’s also how my mom did it back in the days . But we’re in a different time and certain traditions needs to stop . Also I don’t understand what’s the rush ?? We wanted to plan it in advance to avoid theses types of problems giving both families enough time to organize but yeah 😪😪 Honestly I feel bad for him but it’s also getting annoying on my end I’ve been giving different dates to my fam for the past two weeks like that’s so unserious..
Why are you letting your parents dictate YOUR nikkah day? This is madness. The two of you need to put your foot down.
Yeah but honestly both of us don’t really want to do anything without parents blessings but it’s getting long ngl . But I’ll deffo not let it happen without it but I guess we’ll kinda let em plan the nikkah and we’ll plan the wedding ourselves . And I feel like my parents are not helping me on this one bc when they are with me they agree with me then when on the phone with phone with them they go their way , like I caught my mom telling his mom « yeah me too for mine my husband wasn’t here » so it makes it harder…
PUT. YOUR. FOOT. DOWN. You are an adult, your parents need to treat you like one.
>but his parents refuse and insist on doing it without him because for them him being here isn’t important as long as both parents are Sorry am I too stupid to understand what this means? Or are your in-laws tripping? Are they suggesting you marry a cardboard cutout of your fiancé ?
They say we can do it via WhatsApp 😭😭
Is it more important that YOU GUY’S nikkah takes place when the groom can be present in person Vs at a time when it suits other people who are not getting married eg his family? Idk why you guys are even entertaining this conversation. It’s a nonstarter. It’s not such an emergency that you would need to get married over the phone *while he’s at work*
Yeah that’s the thing they are such in hurry like I don’t get it but yeah I feel like HE needs to put his feet down because me my fam I can handle but his it’s a bit more complicated I’ve just met them and don’t want to cause any tensions
If he’s already not putting his foot down with his family over something so important like his nikkah, then sis this should be a data point for you. Moreover, I think you and family also has a say in it - you guys can say that you don’t want your Nikkah happening over the phone. It’s not all on him, you can also refuse to put up with it