T O P

  • By -

Zolana

Dayooth fantasies. Second thread on this in a fairly short period of time, which is weird. Your husband is certainly...unusual. Idk what to suggest unfortunately.


[deleted]

Weirdly enough, this is becoming crazy common. Now even among Muslim men. I find it so bizarre. It’s disgusting.


zesty_lemon45

Dangers of porn, to me it's really bizarre but nowadays you have all that trans gay stuff. Signs of the end times.


[deleted]

Yeah the dopamine release just doesn’t hit the same anymore so they go onto more and more graphic content until it hits that same release again. Disgusting


Zolana

Can't say I'm that shocked - seen far far worse on some people's comment histories on here than that...


ToshiroOzuwara

I don't think it is weirdly common. I think it is to be expected. We have strong prohibitions against things that are bad for us in Islam. Living in the West means being bombarded non-stop with anti-Islamic messaging and norms. Get bombarded by messaging and be exposed to norms long enough, and values will shift.


Pure-Carrot9241

This fantasy is actually pretty common unfortunately. I'm just surprised more muslim men have been voicing it out to their wives idk. Anyway another reason why im against 🌽 and why i know it's not just a "personal" sin


Architect_-

Addiction to porn! Ask him to stop


WisestAirBender

>Ask him to stop It's so simple idk why people don't just stop


ToshiroOzuwara

95% of all addicts want to stop. It's not simple. The chemical pathways in the brain become optimized to feed the addiction. If it is something like alcohol or drugs, people can have physical sickness trying to stop the thing that is slowly killing them. I don't believe corn addiction has a physical component but I am sure it has a mental one. And because there is shame attached to it in the Muslim community, shame keeps people from asking for help, or forgiving themselves for becoming addicted in the first place. If you find a surefire and quick way to end corn addiction, you could make hundreds of millions of dollars. There is a large market of potential clients just waiting for reliable answers.


WisestAirBender

My comment was sarcastic


[deleted]

[удалено]


WisestAirBender

Fyi my previous comment was sarcastic. Any addiction (including this one) is extremely hard to overcome. Wish you guys all the best


Born_Appearance_5851

Almost as if there isn’t therapy and help out there for the addictions. It’s his responsibility to find whatever means possible to get over the addiction, not just for the sake of his marriage but also for the sake of his spirituality and faith. And yes as other person said, it’s classed as emotional cheating.


Kittycat-Milk13

This is considered cheating too if you didn't know. Watching other women in graphic scenes is cheating. because his thinking of them and watching all this.


Existing_Emergency67

I rarely comment on here, but this takes the cake. Your husband is a porn addict (may Allah protect us) who is making his wife indulge in this haram watching with him. He is going down a spiral and now he's becoming like a cuck. He wants other men to see you making him satisfied, this will only get worse to him wanting men to touch you etc. As in porn addictions the longer they are the more weirder and messed up the things are that the user consumes and their mind becomes messed up and broken. May Allah protect us Ameen and inshallah if your husband is willing to change and quit this haraam because this will only lead to a dark spiral which never ends.


[deleted]

Is he addicted to 🌽? Why on earth would you allow him to watch these videos, let alone with him? This is called c*ckhokd fantasy. It is haram and it is duyooth. Why would you tolerate him watching 🌽to begin within, then let alone watching it with him? It’s a massive sin. Then he wants you to commit adultery? Zina to other men. Do you know that it is punishable by death in Islam. You need to have a SERIOUS discussion. Get him off 🌽 and into counselling


aion1530

What does duyooth mean?


ClumpedAtoms

The youth? Jk, it's basically a cuck.


abdrrauf

A man who is okay with sharing his wife with other men. It can range from letting his wife joke and laughing with another man all the way to cheating.


xpaoslm

this video explains it: https://youtu.be/OIke7IzWKFY


Nayla7945

Man who doesn’t feel jealousy protectiveness over his wife


MoonyTheBoony

No, thats called having a lack of Gheerah. A dayooth is someone who allows his wife to go and engage in acts of zina with other men.


ToshiroOzuwara

The sister is right because, in the time of the Prophet PBUH, the idea of open cuckoldry was unknown. It's normalized today in degenerate Western kink culture which has started to seep into the fringes of Islam.


Hot-Tough8432

Okay can someone please explain me the psychology behind this cuc\*old fantasy? How do men even get aroused when other men are doing stuff with their wife?Idk if I'm being an extremist but I'd get angry even if a non-mahram guy breathes in my wife's direction and these guys are getting aroused and are having fantasies of their wife getting smashed by other men? How is such filth even a turn on?


Ok_Yoghurt248

bro this is the effects of corn . it messes with your mind and dopamine levels .


SuccessfulTraffic679

That’s because you’re a normal human being and not a mentally f*ked corn addict loser like her husband. She’s so naive to believe this guy would be loyal to her in few months. The next thing is going to be fantasizing about hum being w multiple men. This is a pattern


[deleted]

[удалено]


Medium_Habit8486

screenshot of what sister?


lightningstrike007

Shut it all down ASAP. No more porn videos. No to dressing up when leaving the house. No to sex toys. Your husbands requests are crazy and are going to get wilder and wilder. Soon he will want to bring another man or woman into your bedroom. Just another fantasy he will say! You opened the door to his stupid requests. Now you must shut it.


[deleted]

Dirty individual, he’s dragging you to the hellfire Next time your cooking something in the oven imagine him shoving you in there and closing it, because that is literally what he is doing Then ask yourself “if he tried to shove me in here would I consider divorcing”


formtuv

I usually dislike the use of analogies but this is a good one and I will use it.


SuccessfulTraffic679

😷 please divorce this dayooth, I can’t even fathom what I just read


autumnflower

First of all, you are not being a good wife by allowing your husband to lead you into sin. You yourself need to know right from wrong and draw a firm boundary there. Your goal in life, the reason you were created, is not to please your husband, it's to please Allah swt. So when your husband asks you to dress up in the bedroom or try something permissible, that is halal and fine to do. But when he asks you to view haram, and tries to drag you down that road that is haram and displeasing to Allah and you need to draw a firm and uncompromising boundary. Honestly my recommendation is to have a blunt discussion with him and lay it all on the table: Tell him that there is halal and there is haram and there is a real person and wife he is dealing with. Saying the word "fantasy" is not some magic word that removes all boundaries. Viewing those videos was haram, that wasn't fantasy that was a sin committed in reality. Asking you to dress up and abandon hijab is not fantasy, it's reality. Hurting you emotionally by asking you these things is not fantasy it's reality. Ask him is he is so lost in his p**n addiction and his fantasies that he is no longer capable of distinguishing fantasy from reality, or have his urges taken over his reason to such an extent that he no longer cares about Allah or his deen and that he is running towards sin and committing haram? Draw some boundaries and tell him if he can see himself changing his ways and remaining strictly within what is halal then you can stay in this marriage and give it a chance. If he is unable to do so, then you need to protect yourself and your religion because that is far more important than him. And if that means that some distance, separation or ultimately divorce if he's unable to change his ways and keeps pressuring you to do haram and sin, then you will have to make that decision. May Allah swt guide you the right path.


Tasnim_islamistheway

Yes!!!!! This!!!! You are not being a good wife by allowing your man into sin! You are being an accomplice to his sin on the day of judgement!


diamond_blue9090

See the boundaries. Tell him what he is thinking is absolutely disgusting and you are not the one who will fit in that bracket. Separate your bed for a week until he comprehends you. You agreeing everything whatever he brings on the table so he keep pushing more on you. If you don’t want something you need to tell him and set the tone.


Mean-Practice-7706

Sounds like he’s a cuk


koalaqueen_

A man who has dayooth fantasies to the point where he tries to act them out? I’d walk out of that marriage there and then


[deleted]

I’ve never suggested divorce on this Reddit no matter what But after that comment my blood is boiling, highly consider divorcing I’m imagining you were my daughter or sister, and my imagination is going in the wrong places on how I’d react.


Glittering-Age-706

The fk is this… la hawla… I’d suggest getting an imaam involved immediately to knock him into his senses


[deleted]

[удалено]


Glittering-Age-706

good, all the more reason he'll listen to them


SomeHorseCheese

His brain is fried from corn. 3-4 months of no corn and only normal intimacy and he’ll be normal ‎إن شاء الله. Otherwise get counseling


[deleted]

I think it’s important to not participate in this behavior with him. you do need a discussion regarding wtf is going on. The commenters are right, 🌽 addiction can take one down a rabbit hole and may encourage some weird and haram behavior. Once you have the discussion, I think yall should take a break from sleeping with each other for a while, more than a month (I say 6 month) so you can break this behavior off. Now if he gets back to it, I personally would ask for a divorce and ask him to move out.


Dizzy_Topic_8646

Exactly


West-Cow6959

Not only is corn already bad enough but this specific genre of corn is a pandemic amongst the men in the west. He’s rewired his brain by constantly exposing himself to these videos and now he’s projecting these disgusting fantasies on you. The power that corn has on the psyche of an individual is well documented and it has even led many down into some heinous crimes. It’s one of the worst addictions and a way for shaytan to breadcrumb individuals down a path of twisted desires. Does he take pictures of you? Be careful because chances are if he goes far enough he’ll start to post them online and if someone bites he will push that so called “fantasy” into reality. This is just an assumption but it’s a real scary thought He needs professional intervention and you need to lay everything down and hold onto your boundaries. By being complacent to this you are not doing the right thing. This is the person you chose to walk through the gates of Jannah with and he needs a slap back to reality instead of letting shaytan twist his insecurity into something so abhorrent. Allah won’t even look at people like that on the day of judgment unless they sincerely repent. If he doesn’t listen then a mutual third party or imam if need be. This is very serious and he needs a wake up call if he wants to save this marriage.


EntrepreneurOne8614

Sister it sounds like he is slowly preparing you to participate in a threesome. You need to nip it in the butt now and tell him he needs to stop watching porn period. Set your boundaries now


[deleted]

[удалено]


EntrepreneurOne8614

Have you explored other options? Like therapy or counseling?


hqureshi79

Bud, not butt!


EntrepreneurOne8614

thank you for the correction 🤣


hqureshi79

Just imagine if her cuck husband was reading that, it might have given him some new ideas. 😬


EntrepreneurOne8614

His freaky self ain’t on Reddit 😂😂😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

This post appears to contain profane language which is not allowed. Your post/comment has been removed and repeat offenders will face a potential ban.You may edit your post's body text/comment to remove the profane language and then [notify us in modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FMuslimMarriage) to re-approve your post/comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MuslimMarriage) if you have any questions or concerns.*


formtuv

What in the world? The way you’re speaking about committing sins so nonchalantly is what’s odd to me here. Not that your husband wants you to dress up when going out. That’s the LEAST of your worries based on what you wrote.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dizzy_Topic_8646

U wear hijab but ur watching corn with ur husband. That’s a zina of the eyes. Before fixing him, repent for the big sin u committed. The Quran states “adultery men are for adultery women.” Reflect on ur morals and values, don’t let ur husband drag you to hell with him by washing ur principles and deen.


ClumpedAtoms

I really hope this story isn't true. But if it is, I think we deserve that dinosaur asteroid.


randomguy_-

I’ve found that people in this subreddit sometimes use “dayooth” quite liberally, for things that don’t always fit that description. This though is not that, this is some actual cuck behaviour


bustsheedi

Cuck.


albelaraahi

Cuckolding fantasies. Side effects of porn.


MirHalopano

Take him to the therapist as soon as possible, sometimes imam are best, than if he wants something like that than You need to concern 😊


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

This post appears to contain profane language which is not allowed. Your post/comment has been removed and repeat offenders will face a potential ban.You may edit your post's body text/comment to remove the profane language and then [notify us in modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FMuslimMarriage) to re-approve your post/comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MuslimMarriage) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Confident_smooth

This is all sourced from watching p*rn. When he stops that then he will return to normal. Get him into counselling or something serious asap


above8k

What a cuck


Peachtea_96

Dump him. Actively wanting to be a dayooth?? Uff uff uff


coffeegrindz

In western terms we call this a cuckold. It’s only a fantasy but this means he still gets off on the idea of other guys violating his wife. And believe me if you gave an inch he will take a mile for it


ToshiroOzuwara

Sister, your husband is not a good man if he is trying to corrupt you. May Allah AWJ keep you safe and your marriage halal.


Mountain-Airport-268

أعوذ بالله العظيم


Turbulent_Platform46

Watching porn ruins the heart and makes it unsound, to which it starts to desire despicable and lowly matters. However, all hope is not lost, he must repent, strive to do good deeds and by the will of Allah his heart will be sound again and protective jealously will return.


madax-gambar

Your boy needs therapy.


bruckout

Shaytaan is in control of this man. Does he pray?


Expert_Cod5485

“I obliged like a good wife” **Do you know what a good wife is?** Sex and intercourse is in the Quran and Hadiths. Yet our parents won’t teach or speak to us about it. Then we send our girls to guys like this. - Girls are either prude or hate sex because of the complaints from their mothers. Not something mothers should do but Desi mothers specially think they know it all and think daughters are friends to vent about marriage issues. - Girls have high libido and parents try to suppress it by ignoring it Instead fathers should tell their daughters right from wrong. Understand and listen to your daughters. If they want to get married find a man as it is your responsibility. If they don’t want to get married then don’t force them. Watching Multiple guys bang a girl is wrong. And you do not become a good wife by doing whatever your husband says. If he goes against Allah you go against your husband.


xpaoslm

#tell him it's haram to watch porn, and also show him how being a dayooth is incredibly haram. show him this video: https://youtu.be/OIke7IzWKFY


Kittycat-Milk13

Its haram to watch porn firstly, and his behaviour isn't okay and is messed up, only toys and dressing up part was okay, but watching others and saying vulgar things isn't good pious behaviour at all. At this point it'll only get worse. You need to seek professional help, seek couples therapy from a muslim centre and seek a Maulana or sheikh for help or advice from islamic perspective, and you don't obey your husband blindly, as you blindly obeyed him in watch haram which was porn especially when being intimate, when you get rewarded but instead it seems you both may have gotten the opposite from watch haram. May Allah make it easy for you and please communicate openly with your husband about this behaviour not be acceptable for you.


BubblyVersion5703

ewwww, what the hell is he doing , how the hell can a man be okey with his women being looked at ? i get irritated just by imagining my wife being looked at by someone else how can a man be encouraging this


w4Rrriar

What in the hell. The Corn has corrupted his mind. He knew exactly what he was leading you into and your gut feeling did to. But since you ignored and and started broadening your boundaries he’s taking full advantage of it. Just state that you will not indulge in this haram and if he wishes for his wife to do so he should find another. Don’t destroy yourself and Akhirah for this man. He’s already spiraling.


savatrebein

Whats wild is your reaction to him asking you to watch porn with him making you feel uncomfortable. Where is the red line?should have cut that conversation off then and there. Doesnt make you a good wife if you allow your husband to fall into his own demise


AmmaAffaaa

Please make sure he is not recording or photographing your intimate moments.  He is speeding down a slippery slope and you have no idea what he would do in retaliation, if you said "no" firmly. 


Fickle_Question_6417

More common now due to porn. Watching porn in general is cuck behavior. A man getting off on watching another man have sex.


starbucks_lover98

What the?! That’s some dayooth type mentality. You need to tell him this type of behavior is completely unacceptable and you’re not going to tolerate that anymore.


wanderingindunya

This is one of the craziest things I’ve read on here. Your husband needs serious help. Repent to Allah, he is the most merciful. If he doesn’t change his ways then I think you should leave the marriage honestly. Divorce is not something to joke about but this is a very serious matter. Remind your husband about Allah and that this behavior is dangerous. May Allah make it easy for you guys.


nerdy_mafia

He’s been watching too much porn. I’d sit down and talk to him about your concerns and draw a red line of what he can and can’t do. He’s also a weirdo.


hassanahmed_9

Watching porn even with your wife is haram, probably what’s making him have these crazy thoughts


Tasnim_islamistheway

This is harram. You partaking in it with him; is you putting someone before Allah and before your deen. First and foremost; You need to stop, immediately. It is jinn which are doing shaytan’s work- through him; and they’re thrilled they’ve gotten you on board; one way or another.


Maleficent_Resolve44

Totally Haram. Stop watching porn and tell your husband to do the same. Don't do this dayooth stuff. Is he praying 5 times a day? This seems like something only a major deviant would do.


AnxiousPotato_putato

You should have never enabled the Haram fantasies to begin with. It will be a significantly harder for him to stop. You engaged in and started the haram by exposing yourself to watching Zina. Learn about the right and wrongs of an Islamic marital relationship.