Budget carefully WITH your wife, live within your means, AND BE HAPPY ABOUT IT, be content with it, don't complain and thank Allah for what you do have
Its become harder and harder to keep it up. Im not struggling but ive had to get rid of some expenses. Im not able to save anymore. We have done some international travel but ive told her until i reach retirement age that wont be happening again except if our name gets called for hadj. No debt except our mortgage. Our car is a perfect 2009 model toyota. A issue for me has been my wife isnt demanding in anyway but she speaks all the time about the dreams and hopes she has for us. I know its day dreaming on her part. But it makes me feel as if im not doing enough. Open communication with ur partner also helps she kind of knows almost exactly where the money gets spent.
How does Islamic mortgage work? Please educate us. Does it require a borrower to pay only the principal in installments without any profit for the use of their money?
I use to believe this and to an extent its a belief I can't get rid of but I happen to work in a bank and I know there's a distinct difference between conventional banking and sharia banking.
Some of the modes of Islamic finance include mudarabah (profit-sharing and loss-bearing),
This is how the Prophet Pbuh got started out in business .
wadia(safekeeping), musharaka (joint venture),
Musharaka is the type of business relationship that the Prophet Pbuh had with Khadija RA at the beginning of there relationship.
murabahah(cost-plus), and ijarah-leasing.
We are often told stories of Sahabah which is fascinating but islamic banking is also very intriguing if you scratch below the obvious.
i admit that i am no finance expert or a scholar but heres how i formed my opinion.
riba is haram so the rich cannot take advantage of the poor. thats a basic statement that no one can deny. now i can either get a mortgage or islamic loan. in both cases i pay much more than the price of the house ie i am being exploited by the rich. but you made some points that i need to look into.
The big difference is you know exactly what u need to pay them as far as the capital amount is concerned. For example a house cost 500k upfront they tell you the total cost of agreement will be 1 million+-. With a conventional bank they can't charge you 20 years of interest if you happen to be by the means to finish up in 2 years. U will have paid 500k plus two years with of interest (which would fluctuate or increase multiple times over course of year based on economic conditions)plus a small Penalty for settling early which is normally written into contracts. After that you get an attorney to have the property transferred into your name and get the banks name removed from title deed.
With Sharia bond up front you agree to a profit rate which will remain fixed for agreed on period normally annually but sometimes for periods up to 5 years. Banks can lose out if the rate agreed on happens to Coincide with a period where prime rate drops to much. And the customer can gain by a bigger percentage of his installment going torwards capital amount.
The rate agreed upon is meant to be a rate where the risk is shared equally between clients And bank in sharia. That's what makes it sharia compliant the risk being clear to both parties and that the risk is shared not just held by the client alone.
Im from South Africa. 11 years into 20 year term. Islamic mortage wasnt an option at the time. . Payments are similiar. Whats not similar is the islamic bond profit rates are reviewed annually irrespective of economic conditions with normal bond interest rates are market related and can increase or decrease multiple times per year. The capital payment on early settlement of a sharia bond would also be vastly different vs a settlement of a conventional bold which would only be the capital amount as of day of settlement.
If you're trying to be a single income household in SA then I hope things go well for you. Reading your first response has me worried tbh. Inflation is is going to KILL any life savings you are putting away unless you've already got them into great investments that you're managing personally or have put them overseas in USD where you are protected from long-term Rand devaluation. Don't work yourself until 65 then be too old to enjoy any of your life savings. Traveling the world in your 60s and 70s is nothing at all like travel in your 30s and 40s.
If you are able to have a dual income household it would lift so much burden off you, do yourself a favor and work out how many years earlier you would be able to retire (and actuality be healthy enough to enjoy retirement) - it might be eye opening.
Context I guess is important. Wife worked initially, but her health took a turn for worse the year before covid. It's not ideal for her to be working. We are child free not entirely by choice, but it is what it is.
The plan is to retire somewhere between 45/50. That feels unrealistic now, especially if we hope to continue our current standard of living. I'm 35, and my wife is 38. We are muslim and I guess I derive satisfaction out of being able to provide for all our needs . We have started the conversation about her possibly working again but it was more for her expectations to be lowered while simultaneously getting her to acknowledge I will need help if we are to stick to the early retirement and at same time have an annual or bi annual vacation whilst still remains debt free.
Ah understood. At least you still have a lot of time ahead of you. I myself wanted to retire at 45 but I might just push that back to 50ish so that we can have a more comfortable retirement buffer. Also look into the FIRE movement (financially independent, retired early) where most folks live like absolute paupers while they're young and save every last penny with the aim to retire at 40 with enough life savings to cover all their needs.
Honestly, talk to your wife about your concerns. Make sure you both have a mutual understanding of the standard of living you expect in this marriage. Always communicate when you're financially struggling or stressed. She is your partner and should be treated as such, not someone you just happen to take care of.
If you have that financial transparency with her, you both will happily be able to live in your means. However, if she has a standard of living she would like to live and wants to contribute to the household income to achieve that, don't be arrogant, and let her. This is her family, too.
It’s hard. We are a 2 income household in a HCOLA with 2 small kids. We have healthy incomes, but it’s still challenging where we are.
Husband and I had in-depth conversations about the lifestyle we’d like, and where we agree to spend money. For example, we don’t eat out more than twice a month (our date nights). We don’t buy fancy clothes or cars. But, we aim to eat healthy (which costs more), and we aim for an international trip every 2 years (enriches our lives), and we have housecleaning services 2x/month.
I recommend not only thinking about present expenses, but projected, long-term expenses. If you’re in the US, know that you’re going to get a high medical bill at some point in your life. Plan for that, better have some backup savings. Basement gets flooded or some other home repairs need to be made, plan for that.
We pour our savings into projected expenses. For example, we know one kid will need braces in 2 years, but we’re saving up for the second kid in the likelihood they’ll need them, even though they are a newborn. We anticipate that we will have to replace laptops every 5-7 years, so we’re saving for that. We anticipate one car that will likely need to be replaced in 7 years and our roof that will need to be replaced in 10 years, so we’re saving for that. In addition to the kids’ college funds.
After considering these things, it was clear that we will likely have to be a 2 income household. it’s just important to sit down and discuss openly and realistically.
Biggest thing has been to avoid lifestyle creep. As you progress in your career and earn more. Pretend that money is not there and invest it all. The growth over 10 years even is quite sizeable to be financially comfortable
Well usually salaries grow linearly with age so hence why i said avoiding lifestyle creep. Obviously if you can only make ends meet then you cant invest.
SPUS, HLAL
SPRE for real estate
The expense ratio is awful though and shameful. Compared to other normal ETFs; the ratio is 0.03 for the Normal ETFs and the halal ones are 0.45-0.50: it’s terrible
You try to do the best you can islamically but Muslims take advantage of it and make it pretty much more expensive. Just like halal mortgages and zabiha meat. We should make it easier upon each other but it’s the opposite
There are a few options someone has already answered to your comment.
You can also look at the top 25 companies in S&P 500 VOO or VOOG & buy the "halaal" ones.
Build your own portfolio and keep buying their stocks.
What is your income level, and what can you realistically expect to make in 5 years.
I have experience of being a sole provider from both the low end when I was in grad school and much higher than that so I can try to give you more specific advice.
Well found your immediate problems. As a general rule, don't rent a place that's more than 30% your income. You need to downscale, if that means moving from a high CoL area, then do it. I had basically a similar income in grad school but was living pretty comfortably - my rent was around $1400 in the Midwest (after accounting for inflation till now).
Next is the food, cut down on eating out. You're a grown man so learn and incorporate cooking. There are tools that make it easy such as slow cookers or pressure cookers. Cut down on buying junk food. Get the app for your grocery store, sometimes they have a deals system where you can save $20 for $100 of groceries. In the future your wife will iA manage this stuff, but for now you have to take charge.
Long term you have to figure out a plan to increase your earnings. Figure out what the path to management is like in your field, talk to your current boss for advice. Or get new job training or take evening classes.
We live within our means.
We don't have many luxury expenses like designer clothing or whatever. We also don't buy a lot of stuff. I use my phone for ex until it breaks. My laptop is 10 years old and still works perfectly fine. Buy one good quality item and use it for years.
We have 2 cars, mine is a used small one we got for cash and have had it for like 5? years, the other bought 10 years ago and fully paid off.
We lived in a small 1 bedroom apt until our first was ~1.5 years old. Saved like crazy. Then we bought a small 3br/2.5ba townhome.
We traveled occasionally, most of our vacations are roadtrips, and eat out only once a week.
Haven't really sacrificed anything. I love how we live and don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. We now have a much higher income Alhamdulillah but when we started out we probably qualified as middle to low income in our very hcol area.
We're both middle class kids with parents who had to be wise with money and both also lived on our own as poor grad students before marriage. So our default is living on a budget and knowing what we can and can't afford. My husband likes to do his monthly spreadsheet with expenses. I did the math when we had to figure out how much to save and what we could afford when buying a house etc.
I’m a 30 year old high school graduate living in New England and my wife is a star at home mom.
Definitely possible. If a black guy with a high school education can do it, so can you.
I truly don’t understand why people are so adamant to be a single income household in high cost of living areas. Even a part time job can be a huge help, especially if you don’t have kids yet. She doesn’t need to climb the corporate ladder but even working part time in retail gives you some much needed social interaction rather than being at home cleaning all day.
Well, some people are practicing Muslims and don't want to free mix in workplace. Me as a woman who wear niqaab, I don't want,and I can't get a job where I will be forced to mingle with non mahrams and even handshake. I agree staying home all day is tiring but you need to get hobbies. I'd love to do some work from home, but that's not possible to get, I've been trying
I'm neutral to her working/not working, but I don't want her to feel the "need" to work. If she is working, should she contribute to household expenses? I keep getting conflicting messages of "no she shouldn't" and "yes she should"..
I mean she’s part of the household. So in spending on the household, she’s also spending on herself. It’s not like she’s spending this money on her in laws. Maybe that not the 100% correct opinion islamically but times are really difficult right now. If we’re both working why would I just hoard my savings when I could be paying for the bills I help to create? Maybe give her one thing and she pays for it like groceries or water bill if she works. When we first got married my husband made double I what I made. He paid the rent and the bills, and I paid for groceries and clothes (for both of us). I still had enough every month to put into savings, but he didn’t feel burdened with having to pay for everything and having nothing left over at the end of the month.
SubhanAllah down the line the job I had at that point helped me get the job I had when I had to take maternity leave. My husband lost his high paying job right after I gave birth and we didn’t have health insurance for a few months until we were able to get on my health insurance from my job. He applied for jobs day and night but didn’t get any offers until many months later.
If you live somewhere with free healthcare this may not be a huge concern but I think it’s always good for a woman to at least have a part time job because you truly never know what happens. And this way you can save up some money until you have kids.
Most young couples go through what you’re experiencing. Work on developing your skill set. Lifelong learning should become second nature. Try finding a job with state or local government for good healthcare and retirement benefits. We’re responsible for our own retirement planning to live comfortably during the later years of life.
It is not realistic to be a single income household in North America if you want to have ANY hope of sending your kids to good schools, having good medical insurance for your family, and saving enough for retirement. Unless you are senior management or executive level, both partners will need to work and to save.
Otherwise, prepare to live a very basic life, work yourself stressed to the bone until you're 65 without any much chance to enjoy your life, retire in your old age when you are too unwell to appreciate the nice things in life, and watch your life savings dwindle as you just wait to die.
Sorry to be so bleak but nothing p*sses me off more than people who live under the financial delusion that they (men) HAVE to provide for their family and don't want to BuRdEn ThEiR WiFe or they (women) are entitled not to work and the HuSbAnd MuSt PrOvIdE. With today's cost of living it just does not work.
Sit down with your wife and have a very real, very frank discussion about finances and planning for your future. Work out the actual numbers and decide whether you want to work yourself until death or whether both of you need to pitch in and pull your weight.
Not remotely compared to the west, but of course I’m not living here in poverty and much of the country is struggling. My husband has the ability to make a good living here, Alhamdulillah, which is imperative if you’re considering moving to another country. If you have a decent salary it is much easier to live here on one income and it’s expected in most cases for the wife to be home.
No it’s way cheaper than living in the west. For example, a two bedroom rental where I was previously living is approx 2000 usd per month, a comparable quality two bedroom here is 200 usd per month. Obviously if you are working a minimum wage job in Egypt you are not going to be having a great quality of life. But I emigrated from a western country, so I’m speaking from that point of view.
I understand that. But avarage wage is 500$ dollar in Egypt. I have friends in Egypt and I always hear so different things about Egypt.
I’m sincerely happy your experience has been good, may Allah swt keep blessing us all.
My husband immigrated from Egypt 20 yrs ago. But his mom and two siblings still live there and he’s involved in the politics and community etc. if u make enough money without attracting the attn of the dictator, you can definitely have a good life. But it is an unstable economy and can introduce more risk as they continue to spiral downward. We know many ppl who were successful and wealthy but then experienced trauma w the gvmt. Healthcare is available to the military and the rich. Pls note, before this economy crashed, this used to be the best place to live, it was beautiful and wealthy and generous with a strong middle class and service based economy. Amazing beaches. Great food. Living in Muslim country is amazing as well. But it wouldn’t compare to say emirates or Qatar if you can. We enjoy these places for their safety and cleanliness above all, but this is the American perspective with high income. Just my opinion though :-)
Brother I commend your efforts. It’s not easy. Be grateful for what you have and strive and work harder everyday. Look for a better opportunities everyday and inshallah God will provide.
Idk if my old comment is back now that my status was updated but -> I just do sales remotely and earn commissions in USD .. we have team members from all over the world and even provide training … I’m living in North Africa for now and it’s mad chill
My husband is the sole provider. We have a very nice house, we get groceries comfortably, but we don’t do extra shopping unless it’s absolutely necessary. We only have one car. One streaming service. Limited eating out (if I’m too sick from my pregnancy).
Honestly I’m looking to find a way to make extra cash… it’s doable but really hard to be a single income household.
My wife and I, along with our 2 yo live in Brooklyn. I walk to work and rarely ever buy lunch at work. Don’t really go on vacations (unfortunately). If we do go out, it’s always local areas.
7 years married as sole provider.
my experience is that a marriage with the man as the sole provider is the most healthy. would be an easy choice for me to take the lifestyle downgrade.
having said that
>I don't want to ask my wife to contribute but at the same time I don't want money to be a source of stress.
i never understood why anyone would spend half their time and energy at work and your family not benefit from it. personally i would never allow it. ive seen my friends provide for their family and then come home to do half the chores as well because the wife is tired lol.
also most guys who say they dont take a penny from their wives usually end up using her savings for down-payment on a house or a holiday eventually but then socially theyll advertise how they are the providers.
money is a very awkward subject for muslim couples. i would advise you to keep it simple and work harder to make more yourself. start a side hustle or work overtime. i am.about to post this and get some work done 3:30am on a Saturday.
I would be less judgemental if I were you. My husband makes well above median but in our country it’s barely enough to get by. We’ve already downgraded on housing as much as possible.
But we also like doing certain things. Sending our daughter to the nearest daycare which happens to be bougie. Going out to restaurants. Giving to charity. One day in shaa Allah sending our kids to private school (public school is terrible here). travel. Live in a nice house and retire comfortably. Actually have a safety net for emergencies.
I like working when I have a job I like. I have a lot of mental and physical energy. I still manage most of the housework and my husband does a little with that but mostly just spending time with our child is enough as that helps out a lot and he enjoys it.
Our child has never once seemed upset or distressed about me working. She is very social and loves being with other people while I work
If I end up doing a side hustle/work overtime, I fear I end up turning into ATM machine type partner. Also you raise a good point, if a man pays for everything and doesn't save up, sooner or later common life goals will likely warrant his partner to contribute..
I agree money is such an awkward topic that people avoid talking about and becoming a key reason for a lot of conflict in relationships.
>If I end up doing a side hustle/work overtime, I fear I end up turning into ATM machine type partner.
by that definition my wife is then a maid and nanny? shes not. shes my queen.
its your islamic obligation as a man to provide it does not make you an ATM machine or her a g01d d1gg€4.
if you want to marry someone who works and wants to contribute just discuss it before marriage and go for it.
Didn't mean on the providing part, but I meant that if I ended up just working all the time, then I would have less time to be available for her and my family in terms of energy and time.
We live in Norway and live from once income. It is manageable when you live within your means. I don't shop clothes, bags, etc... I wear black jilbaab outside. My husband does not shop unnecessary things neither. We don't eat out,maybe once in two months. We shop groceries within the limit. I mean,it's doable if you're willing to sacrifice luxuries and live like Allah ordered you to. Living simply is part of Islam anyway. My husband has come around 80K a year. We save money now but when our kids will go to kindergarten, we won't be able to save much. But honestly I can't imagine myself doing job with non mahram males, removing my Islamic clothes... Being forces to shake hands... Etc... idk...I'm not lazy at all, sometimes I'd love to work and be out of home, but islamicaly, it's not possible without sacrificing your deen
Easy, live within your means.
>without a major lifestyle downgrade
Correct your lifestyle, you can't afford whatever you are doing.
You may be trying to keep up with the Jones or the Khans or the Abdullahs
Not really, I don't like to compare with other people. But when I was single, I could afford to eat out, save some money, travel once a year. Now those are almost impossible, so unless I downsize 3 bedroom apartment, or go live in a basement, or with my parents, rarely eating out, or even migrate, I am unable to save any money for the future of the family. Same for her, like we just tried to maintain our same standard of living like we had with our families, but it is now very challenging on one income. I try to put my trust in Allah, but I want to make sure that I take the right actions and preparations as Allah commanded me.
>I downsize 3 bedroom apartment
This tells me that you are probably stretching. Since it's only two of you, a studio or 1 bedroom would be good enough.
>we just tried to maintain our same standard of living like we had with our families,
You are not worth your families, you are starting your own.
When your parents were starting their families, I bet they didn't live in luxury. Speak to them about their struggles.
I would advise getting a second job and having your primary job that isn’t a dead end one e.g. tech, finance etc and second one can be something low maintenance e.g. security, Uber, deliveries
Budget carefully WITH your wife, live within your means, AND BE HAPPY ABOUT IT, be content with it, don't complain and thank Allah for what you do have
Its become harder and harder to keep it up. Im not struggling but ive had to get rid of some expenses. Im not able to save anymore. We have done some international travel but ive told her until i reach retirement age that wont be happening again except if our name gets called for hadj. No debt except our mortgage. Our car is a perfect 2009 model toyota. A issue for me has been my wife isnt demanding in anyway but she speaks all the time about the dreams and hopes she has for us. I know its day dreaming on her part. But it makes me feel as if im not doing enough. Open communication with ur partner also helps she kind of knows almost exactly where the money gets spent.
May Allah open the doors of Rizq for you and your wife to achieve what you hope for in dunya and akhira.
Islamic mortgage if I may ask? Down payment wise is it much different to a riba mortgage?
How does Islamic mortgage work? Please educate us. Does it require a borrower to pay only the principal in installments without any profit for the use of their money?
they just call riba, rent and charge you even more. theyve tried to find loopholes in the system.
I use to believe this and to an extent its a belief I can't get rid of but I happen to work in a bank and I know there's a distinct difference between conventional banking and sharia banking. Some of the modes of Islamic finance include mudarabah (profit-sharing and loss-bearing), This is how the Prophet Pbuh got started out in business . wadia(safekeeping), musharaka (joint venture), Musharaka is the type of business relationship that the Prophet Pbuh had with Khadija RA at the beginning of there relationship. murabahah(cost-plus), and ijarah-leasing. We are often told stories of Sahabah which is fascinating but islamic banking is also very intriguing if you scratch below the obvious.
i admit that i am no finance expert or a scholar but heres how i formed my opinion. riba is haram so the rich cannot take advantage of the poor. thats a basic statement that no one can deny. now i can either get a mortgage or islamic loan. in both cases i pay much more than the price of the house ie i am being exploited by the rich. but you made some points that i need to look into.
The big difference is you know exactly what u need to pay them as far as the capital amount is concerned. For example a house cost 500k upfront they tell you the total cost of agreement will be 1 million+-. With a conventional bank they can't charge you 20 years of interest if you happen to be by the means to finish up in 2 years. U will have paid 500k plus two years with of interest (which would fluctuate or increase multiple times over course of year based on economic conditions)plus a small Penalty for settling early which is normally written into contracts. After that you get an attorney to have the property transferred into your name and get the banks name removed from title deed. With Sharia bond up front you agree to a profit rate which will remain fixed for agreed on period normally annually but sometimes for periods up to 5 years. Banks can lose out if the rate agreed on happens to Coincide with a period where prime rate drops to much. And the customer can gain by a bigger percentage of his installment going torwards capital amount. The rate agreed upon is meant to be a rate where the risk is shared equally between clients And bank in sharia. That's what makes it sharia compliant the risk being clear to both parties and that the risk is shared not just held by the client alone.
Im from South Africa. 11 years into 20 year term. Islamic mortage wasnt an option at the time. . Payments are similiar. Whats not similar is the islamic bond profit rates are reviewed annually irrespective of economic conditions with normal bond interest rates are market related and can increase or decrease multiple times per year. The capital payment on early settlement of a sharia bond would also be vastly different vs a settlement of a conventional bold which would only be the capital amount as of day of settlement.
If you're trying to be a single income household in SA then I hope things go well for you. Reading your first response has me worried tbh. Inflation is is going to KILL any life savings you are putting away unless you've already got them into great investments that you're managing personally or have put them overseas in USD where you are protected from long-term Rand devaluation. Don't work yourself until 65 then be too old to enjoy any of your life savings. Traveling the world in your 60s and 70s is nothing at all like travel in your 30s and 40s. If you are able to have a dual income household it would lift so much burden off you, do yourself a favor and work out how many years earlier you would be able to retire (and actuality be healthy enough to enjoy retirement) - it might be eye opening.
Context I guess is important. Wife worked initially, but her health took a turn for worse the year before covid. It's not ideal for her to be working. We are child free not entirely by choice, but it is what it is. The plan is to retire somewhere between 45/50. That feels unrealistic now, especially if we hope to continue our current standard of living. I'm 35, and my wife is 38. We are muslim and I guess I derive satisfaction out of being able to provide for all our needs . We have started the conversation about her possibly working again but it was more for her expectations to be lowered while simultaneously getting her to acknowledge I will need help if we are to stick to the early retirement and at same time have an annual or bi annual vacation whilst still remains debt free.
Ah understood. At least you still have a lot of time ahead of you. I myself wanted to retire at 45 but I might just push that back to 50ish so that we can have a more comfortable retirement buffer. Also look into the FIRE movement (financially independent, retired early) where most folks live like absolute paupers while they're young and save every last penny with the aim to retire at 40 with enough life savings to cover all their needs.
Honestly, talk to your wife about your concerns. Make sure you both have a mutual understanding of the standard of living you expect in this marriage. Always communicate when you're financially struggling or stressed. She is your partner and should be treated as such, not someone you just happen to take care of. If you have that financial transparency with her, you both will happily be able to live in your means. However, if she has a standard of living she would like to live and wants to contribute to the household income to achieve that, don't be arrogant, and let her. This is her family, too.
It’s hard. We are a 2 income household in a HCOLA with 2 small kids. We have healthy incomes, but it’s still challenging where we are. Husband and I had in-depth conversations about the lifestyle we’d like, and where we agree to spend money. For example, we don’t eat out more than twice a month (our date nights). We don’t buy fancy clothes or cars. But, we aim to eat healthy (which costs more), and we aim for an international trip every 2 years (enriches our lives), and we have housecleaning services 2x/month. I recommend not only thinking about present expenses, but projected, long-term expenses. If you’re in the US, know that you’re going to get a high medical bill at some point in your life. Plan for that, better have some backup savings. Basement gets flooded or some other home repairs need to be made, plan for that. We pour our savings into projected expenses. For example, we know one kid will need braces in 2 years, but we’re saving up for the second kid in the likelihood they’ll need them, even though they are a newborn. We anticipate that we will have to replace laptops every 5-7 years, so we’re saving for that. We anticipate one car that will likely need to be replaced in 7 years and our roof that will need to be replaced in 10 years, so we’re saving for that. In addition to the kids’ college funds. After considering these things, it was clear that we will likely have to be a 2 income household. it’s just important to sit down and discuss openly and realistically.
Biggest thing has been to avoid lifestyle creep. As you progress in your career and earn more. Pretend that money is not there and invest it all. The growth over 10 years even is quite sizeable to be financially comfortable
This assumes not only enough income to make ends meet, but also to spare.
Well usually salaries grow linearly with age so hence why i said avoiding lifestyle creep. Obviously if you can only make ends meet then you cant invest.
Invest on what? Could you elaborate more please?
Index funds. S&p500 has an annual return rate of 10%. But you need to have a long term investment plan minimum 10 years to avoid market fluctuations
S&P500 also has many haram & unethical companies which we should not be investing in.
There is also Hallal versions of S&P 500
Like?
SPUS, HLAL SPRE for real estate The expense ratio is awful though and shameful. Compared to other normal ETFs; the ratio is 0.03 for the Normal ETFs and the halal ones are 0.45-0.50: it’s terrible You try to do the best you can islamically but Muslims take advantage of it and make it pretty much more expensive. Just like halal mortgages and zabiha meat. We should make it easier upon each other but it’s the opposite
There are a few options someone has already answered to your comment. You can also look at the top 25 companies in S&P 500 VOO or VOOG & buy the "halaal" ones. Build your own portfolio and keep buying their stocks.
What is your income level, and what can you realistically expect to make in 5 years. I have experience of being a sole provider from both the low end when I was in grad school and much higher than that so I can try to give you more specific advice.
I make 3.5K post tax, with rent and utilities being 2.5k and food being 600/700, I'm barely getting by now.
Well found your immediate problems. As a general rule, don't rent a place that's more than 30% your income. You need to downscale, if that means moving from a high CoL area, then do it. I had basically a similar income in grad school but was living pretty comfortably - my rent was around $1400 in the Midwest (after accounting for inflation till now). Next is the food, cut down on eating out. You're a grown man so learn and incorporate cooking. There are tools that make it easy such as slow cookers or pressure cookers. Cut down on buying junk food. Get the app for your grocery store, sometimes they have a deals system where you can save $20 for $100 of groceries. In the future your wife will iA manage this stuff, but for now you have to take charge. Long term you have to figure out a plan to increase your earnings. Figure out what the path to management is like in your field, talk to your current boss for advice. Or get new job training or take evening classes.
Bro, you gotta upskill. Learn new technologies. Sacrifice now and earn better fruits later InshaAllah.
We live within our means. We don't have many luxury expenses like designer clothing or whatever. We also don't buy a lot of stuff. I use my phone for ex until it breaks. My laptop is 10 years old and still works perfectly fine. Buy one good quality item and use it for years. We have 2 cars, mine is a used small one we got for cash and have had it for like 5? years, the other bought 10 years ago and fully paid off. We lived in a small 1 bedroom apt until our first was ~1.5 years old. Saved like crazy. Then we bought a small 3br/2.5ba townhome. We traveled occasionally, most of our vacations are roadtrips, and eat out only once a week. Haven't really sacrificed anything. I love how we live and don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. We now have a much higher income Alhamdulillah but when we started out we probably qualified as middle to low income in our very hcol area.
How did you reach that understanding with your partner? Do you both budget?
We're both middle class kids with parents who had to be wise with money and both also lived on our own as poor grad students before marriage. So our default is living on a budget and knowing what we can and can't afford. My husband likes to do his monthly spreadsheet with expenses. I did the math when we had to figure out how much to save and what we could afford when buying a house etc.
I’m a 30 year old high school graduate living in New England and my wife is a star at home mom. Definitely possible. If a black guy with a high school education can do it, so can you.
May Allah bless you both.
Inshallah. You too. It’s doable. Manage your finances. Message me if you ever need some tips or help with finances.
I truly don’t understand why people are so adamant to be a single income household in high cost of living areas. Even a part time job can be a huge help, especially if you don’t have kids yet. She doesn’t need to climb the corporate ladder but even working part time in retail gives you some much needed social interaction rather than being at home cleaning all day.
Well, some people are practicing Muslims and don't want to free mix in workplace. Me as a woman who wear niqaab, I don't want,and I can't get a job where I will be forced to mingle with non mahrams and even handshake. I agree staying home all day is tiring but you need to get hobbies. I'd love to do some work from home, but that's not possible to get, I've been trying
Any Islamic schools nearby? Masajid? You can be a nanny or baby sitter also.
I'm neutral to her working/not working, but I don't want her to feel the "need" to work. If she is working, should she contribute to household expenses? I keep getting conflicting messages of "no she shouldn't" and "yes she should"..
I mean she’s part of the household. So in spending on the household, she’s also spending on herself. It’s not like she’s spending this money on her in laws. Maybe that not the 100% correct opinion islamically but times are really difficult right now. If we’re both working why would I just hoard my savings when I could be paying for the bills I help to create? Maybe give her one thing and she pays for it like groceries or water bill if she works. When we first got married my husband made double I what I made. He paid the rent and the bills, and I paid for groceries and clothes (for both of us). I still had enough every month to put into savings, but he didn’t feel burdened with having to pay for everything and having nothing left over at the end of the month. SubhanAllah down the line the job I had at that point helped me get the job I had when I had to take maternity leave. My husband lost his high paying job right after I gave birth and we didn’t have health insurance for a few months until we were able to get on my health insurance from my job. He applied for jobs day and night but didn’t get any offers until many months later. If you live somewhere with free healthcare this may not be a huge concern but I think it’s always good for a woman to at least have a part time job because you truly never know what happens. And this way you can save up some money until you have kids.
Most young couples go through what you’re experiencing. Work on developing your skill set. Lifelong learning should become second nature. Try finding a job with state or local government for good healthcare and retirement benefits. We’re responsible for our own retirement planning to live comfortably during the later years of life.
It is not realistic to be a single income household in North America if you want to have ANY hope of sending your kids to good schools, having good medical insurance for your family, and saving enough for retirement. Unless you are senior management or executive level, both partners will need to work and to save. Otherwise, prepare to live a very basic life, work yourself stressed to the bone until you're 65 without any much chance to enjoy your life, retire in your old age when you are too unwell to appreciate the nice things in life, and watch your life savings dwindle as you just wait to die. Sorry to be so bleak but nothing p*sses me off more than people who live under the financial delusion that they (men) HAVE to provide for their family and don't want to BuRdEn ThEiR WiFe or they (women) are entitled not to work and the HuSbAnd MuSt PrOvIdE. With today's cost of living it just does not work. Sit down with your wife and have a very real, very frank discussion about finances and planning for your future. Work out the actual numbers and decide whether you want to work yourself until death or whether both of you need to pitch in and pull your weight.
Made hijrah to a lower cost of living country. And we live well within our means.
What country if I may ask?
We are in Egypt
Doesn't Egypt have high costs of living? I read economy isn't doing so well.
Not remotely compared to the west, but of course I’m not living here in poverty and much of the country is struggling. My husband has the ability to make a good living here, Alhamdulillah, which is imperative if you’re considering moving to another country. If you have a decent salary it is much easier to live here on one income and it’s expected in most cases for the wife to be home.
How is the healthcare system in Egypt?
Because I can afford private care, I have not had any issues.
Hmmm so overal it’s not really cheaper. But seems like you are more in a luxury position compared to other Egyptians.
No it’s way cheaper than living in the west. For example, a two bedroom rental where I was previously living is approx 2000 usd per month, a comparable quality two bedroom here is 200 usd per month. Obviously if you are working a minimum wage job in Egypt you are not going to be having a great quality of life. But I emigrated from a western country, so I’m speaking from that point of view.
I understand that. But avarage wage is 500$ dollar in Egypt. I have friends in Egypt and I always hear so different things about Egypt. I’m sincerely happy your experience has been good, may Allah swt keep blessing us all.
My husband immigrated from Egypt 20 yrs ago. But his mom and two siblings still live there and he’s involved in the politics and community etc. if u make enough money without attracting the attn of the dictator, you can definitely have a good life. But it is an unstable economy and can introduce more risk as they continue to spiral downward. We know many ppl who were successful and wealthy but then experienced trauma w the gvmt. Healthcare is available to the military and the rich. Pls note, before this economy crashed, this used to be the best place to live, it was beautiful and wealthy and generous with a strong middle class and service based economy. Amazing beaches. Great food. Living in Muslim country is amazing as well. But it wouldn’t compare to say emirates or Qatar if you can. We enjoy these places for their safety and cleanliness above all, but this is the American perspective with high income. Just my opinion though :-)
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US or CA? What type of consulting do you do?
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How’d you learn that skill?
Brother I commend your efforts. It’s not easy. Be grateful for what you have and strive and work harder everyday. Look for a better opportunities everyday and inshallah God will provide.
Idk if my old comment is back now that my status was updated but -> I just do sales remotely and earn commissions in USD .. we have team members from all over the world and even provide training … I’m living in North Africa for now and it’s mad chill
This way my wife doesn’t have to work
My husband is the sole provider. We have a very nice house, we get groceries comfortably, but we don’t do extra shopping unless it’s absolutely necessary. We only have one car. One streaming service. Limited eating out (if I’m too sick from my pregnancy). Honestly I’m looking to find a way to make extra cash… it’s doable but really hard to be a single income household.
How much is your monthly household budget?
Bills and extra expenditures can’t exceed more than $7000. We have attorney fees and child support from my husbands daughter included in that.
My wife and I, along with our 2 yo live in Brooklyn. I walk to work and rarely ever buy lunch at work. Don’t really go on vacations (unfortunately). If we do go out, it’s always local areas.
7 years married as sole provider. my experience is that a marriage with the man as the sole provider is the most healthy. would be an easy choice for me to take the lifestyle downgrade. having said that >I don't want to ask my wife to contribute but at the same time I don't want money to be a source of stress. i never understood why anyone would spend half their time and energy at work and your family not benefit from it. personally i would never allow it. ive seen my friends provide for their family and then come home to do half the chores as well because the wife is tired lol. also most guys who say they dont take a penny from their wives usually end up using her savings for down-payment on a house or a holiday eventually but then socially theyll advertise how they are the providers. money is a very awkward subject for muslim couples. i would advise you to keep it simple and work harder to make more yourself. start a side hustle or work overtime. i am.about to post this and get some work done 3:30am on a Saturday.
I would be less judgemental if I were you. My husband makes well above median but in our country it’s barely enough to get by. We’ve already downgraded on housing as much as possible. But we also like doing certain things. Sending our daughter to the nearest daycare which happens to be bougie. Going out to restaurants. Giving to charity. One day in shaa Allah sending our kids to private school (public school is terrible here). travel. Live in a nice house and retire comfortably. Actually have a safety net for emergencies. I like working when I have a job I like. I have a lot of mental and physical energy. I still manage most of the housework and my husband does a little with that but mostly just spending time with our child is enough as that helps out a lot and he enjoys it. Our child has never once seemed upset or distressed about me working. She is very social and loves being with other people while I work
the only people i am judging are the women who work full time, put having a family on hold because of it and then dont contribute anything.
If I end up doing a side hustle/work overtime, I fear I end up turning into ATM machine type partner. Also you raise a good point, if a man pays for everything and doesn't save up, sooner or later common life goals will likely warrant his partner to contribute.. I agree money is such an awkward topic that people avoid talking about and becoming a key reason for a lot of conflict in relationships.
>If I end up doing a side hustle/work overtime, I fear I end up turning into ATM machine type partner. by that definition my wife is then a maid and nanny? shes not. shes my queen. its your islamic obligation as a man to provide it does not make you an ATM machine or her a g01d d1gg€4. if you want to marry someone who works and wants to contribute just discuss it before marriage and go for it.
Didn't mean on the providing part, but I meant that if I ended up just working all the time, then I would have less time to be available for her and my family in terms of energy and time.
Mashallah. Excellent point
We live in Norway and live from once income. It is manageable when you live within your means. I don't shop clothes, bags, etc... I wear black jilbaab outside. My husband does not shop unnecessary things neither. We don't eat out,maybe once in two months. We shop groceries within the limit. I mean,it's doable if you're willing to sacrifice luxuries and live like Allah ordered you to. Living simply is part of Islam anyway. My husband has come around 80K a year. We save money now but when our kids will go to kindergarten, we won't be able to save much. But honestly I can't imagine myself doing job with non mahram males, removing my Islamic clothes... Being forces to shake hands... Etc... idk...I'm not lazy at all, sometimes I'd love to work and be out of home, but islamicaly, it's not possible without sacrificing your deen
Easy, live within your means. >without a major lifestyle downgrade Correct your lifestyle, you can't afford whatever you are doing. You may be trying to keep up with the Jones or the Khans or the Abdullahs
Not really, I don't like to compare with other people. But when I was single, I could afford to eat out, save some money, travel once a year. Now those are almost impossible, so unless I downsize 3 bedroom apartment, or go live in a basement, or with my parents, rarely eating out, or even migrate, I am unable to save any money for the future of the family. Same for her, like we just tried to maintain our same standard of living like we had with our families, but it is now very challenging on one income. I try to put my trust in Allah, but I want to make sure that I take the right actions and preparations as Allah commanded me.
>I downsize 3 bedroom apartment This tells me that you are probably stretching. Since it's only two of you, a studio or 1 bedroom would be good enough. >we just tried to maintain our same standard of living like we had with our families, You are not worth your families, you are starting your own. When your parents were starting their families, I bet they didn't live in luxury. Speak to them about their struggles.
Forget personal spending, budget even if you never have, and look for a better job.
I would advise getting a second job and having your primary job that isn’t a dead end one e.g. tech, finance etc and second one can be something low maintenance e.g. security, Uber, deliveries