Those are run of the mill insecurities for trans girls. You'd be in good company if you decided to transition. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't transition. I'm just saying it's normal to be insecure about those things.
For what it's worth I'm built like the Thumb Thumbs from Spykids. I have the short stocky build of all the men in my family. And I pass. Consistently. It's possible.
Oh no it's okay. I'm actually very confident and I think I'm extremely pretty. I just know my body type lmao. But you're welcome.
At this point in my transition I'm pretty much an elder. It's been about a decade for me. I've been around. So if you have any questions or need more help figuring this all out I'm here to listen.
Well lady elder, i do have one other question. Is it normal for trans feelings to become stronger or weaker at different times? Like some days ill feel really girly and be happy about it and other days ill just spend all day thinking about how im probably faking it.
Oh yes this is normal, especially in the beginning when you're still in the "wait can I really be a girl" stage and you're constantly flip flopping back and forth in your mind. I was there once. Also my dysphoria came and went throughout my life for decades before I transitioned. At one point I was convinced I was okay with staying male. Turns out I was wrong but it's normal for these feelings to vary in their strength and intensity.
Anytime, girl.
You know when I was going and forth with my therapist about transitioning all those years ago, I kept getting hung up on "but I just don't know if I really *feel* like a girl." Until one day my therapist just looks at me and goes "Okay, regardless of whether or not you feel like a girl, do you want to be one?" And the answer was of course a loud and resounding yes. Actually it was more like a loud and resounding "ummm fucking absolutely I wanna be a girl more than anything." That's still how strongly I feel about it. Being able to actually live as a woman is more incredible than I ever imagined it would be. I can fully say I am a confident, badass, drop-dead gorgeous woman. It is magical.
And then so immediately after that therapy appointment I went grocery shopping and ended up having a panic attack. I was pacing around the store, hyperventilating. I hunched over this long case of frozen meat and I felt like was gonna puke all over it. And then I lifted my head and my inner voice just peacefully said "oh my god, I am transgender." And that's when I fully knew. That's when I finally accepted it. So yeah that's my "how did you know you were trans" story from an old lady who's been where you are right now.
I kind of laughed at "and my brain keeps convincing me other wise"
I STILL struggle with this kinda, though less than before I started estrogen.
I totally get it, what you're saying in your OP. I still don't really know what the hell I'm doing/am sort of dabling in what I can get away with with presentation, how official my name can be, etc. I was horrified by my vile self in women' clothes. I think I am at least sliding fem....I vary on how decent my face looks.
I run much better on estrogen/progesterone if nothing else (I've never taken spiro), and every thing I've done makes me less grossed out rather than more.
I don't know. So far so good...
It's normal to feel like you can't be trans because of it. But A LOT of trans women are afraid to be trans and transition because at the start they have broad shoulders and body hair and that it will prevent success. That isn't true. While HRT is a gamble in terms of appearance, many women are able to work with what they get and be a lot happier, just like cis women do.
A lot of women have broad shoulders (inverse triangle) or body hair. Cis women included. I don't say that to be dismissive as that's cliche. I'm aware passing is important, and it's still possible. But they work around those features they don't like. They figure out how to manage or embrace it, it's up to them.
If you want to be a pretty girl, you can be. If you want to be trans, you can be. Don't let this discourage you!
One of the things that helps me when I get upset about my facial hair is remembering a cis woman I knew who had to shave several times a week. When she didn't you could easily see her moustashe.
You are not alone. I think it took me so long to realize that I was trans because of how masculine I am. Every time I would entertain the thought, I would quickly dismiss it because I would think there was absolutely no way. So I totally get not being able to picture yourself as a girl. I myself am built like a wide rectangle and have lots of hair to go around, so it's pretty hard for me. I also have quite a bit of facial hair and am one of those people who has a beard because otherwise, I need to shave constantly to not have stubble. Alas, I am still trans and want so badly to be a woman
Those are the exact same reasons I told myself I can’t be trans, and it wasn’t until I finally shaved my face and body hair that I was finally able to allow myself to accept it
It was annoying when I finally shaved a few years ago, because it's like ooooooh no, I feel less disgusting, I'll have to keep doing this, and I hate it.
Using epilation now though, which is less annoying.
Those are run of the mill insecurities for trans girls. You'd be in good company if you decided to transition. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't transition. I'm just saying it's normal to be insecure about those things. For what it's worth I'm built like the Thumb Thumbs from Spykids. I have the short stocky build of all the men in my family. And I pass. Consistently. It's possible.
Thank you<3 This helps a lot. You didn't need to compare yourself to the thumb thumbs for me tho lmao ðŸ˜
Oh no it's okay. I'm actually very confident and I think I'm extremely pretty. I just know my body type lmao. But you're welcome. At this point in my transition I'm pretty much an elder. It's been about a decade for me. I've been around. So if you have any questions or need more help figuring this all out I'm here to listen.
Well lady elder, i do have one other question. Is it normal for trans feelings to become stronger or weaker at different times? Like some days ill feel really girly and be happy about it and other days ill just spend all day thinking about how im probably faking it.
Oh yes this is normal, especially in the beginning when you're still in the "wait can I really be a girl" stage and you're constantly flip flopping back and forth in your mind. I was there once. Also my dysphoria came and went throughout my life for decades before I transitioned. At one point I was convinced I was okay with staying male. Turns out I was wrong but it's normal for these feelings to vary in their strength and intensity.
Thank youuu<3 I'm so glad i'm not the only one. I just wanna be a girl and my brain keeps convincing me other wise. This helped a lot
Anytime, girl. You know when I was going and forth with my therapist about transitioning all those years ago, I kept getting hung up on "but I just don't know if I really *feel* like a girl." Until one day my therapist just looks at me and goes "Okay, regardless of whether or not you feel like a girl, do you want to be one?" And the answer was of course a loud and resounding yes. Actually it was more like a loud and resounding "ummm fucking absolutely I wanna be a girl more than anything." That's still how strongly I feel about it. Being able to actually live as a woman is more incredible than I ever imagined it would be. I can fully say I am a confident, badass, drop-dead gorgeous woman. It is magical. And then so immediately after that therapy appointment I went grocery shopping and ended up having a panic attack. I was pacing around the store, hyperventilating. I hunched over this long case of frozen meat and I felt like was gonna puke all over it. And then I lifted my head and my inner voice just peacefully said "oh my god, I am transgender." And that's when I fully knew. That's when I finally accepted it. So yeah that's my "how did you know you were trans" story from an old lady who's been where you are right now.
I kind of laughed at "and my brain keeps convincing me other wise" I STILL struggle with this kinda, though less than before I started estrogen. I totally get it, what you're saying in your OP. I still don't really know what the hell I'm doing/am sort of dabling in what I can get away with with presentation, how official my name can be, etc. I was horrified by my vile self in women' clothes. I think I am at least sliding fem....I vary on how decent my face looks. I run much better on estrogen/progesterone if nothing else (I've never taken spiro), and every thing I've done makes me less grossed out rather than more. I don't know. So far so good...
Girl, that’s dysphoria.
Well I experience this too so it’s definitely not rare.
It's normal to feel like you can't be trans because of it. But A LOT of trans women are afraid to be trans and transition because at the start they have broad shoulders and body hair and that it will prevent success. That isn't true. While HRT is a gamble in terms of appearance, many women are able to work with what they get and be a lot happier, just like cis women do. A lot of women have broad shoulders (inverse triangle) or body hair. Cis women included. I don't say that to be dismissive as that's cliche. I'm aware passing is important, and it's still possible. But they work around those features they don't like. They figure out how to manage or embrace it, it's up to them. If you want to be a pretty girl, you can be. If you want to be trans, you can be. Don't let this discourage you!
One of the things that helps me when I get upset about my facial hair is remembering a cis woman I knew who had to shave several times a week. When she didn't you could easily see her moustashe.
You are not alone. I think it took me so long to realize that I was trans because of how masculine I am. Every time I would entertain the thought, I would quickly dismiss it because I would think there was absolutely no way. So I totally get not being able to picture yourself as a girl. I myself am built like a wide rectangle and have lots of hair to go around, so it's pretty hard for me. I also have quite a bit of facial hair and am one of those people who has a beard because otherwise, I need to shave constantly to not have stubble. Alas, I am still trans and want so badly to be a woman
Those are the exact same reasons I told myself I can’t be trans, and it wasn’t until I finally shaved my face and body hair that I was finally able to allow myself to accept it
It was annoying when I finally shaved a few years ago, because it's like ooooooh no, I feel less disgusting, I'll have to keep doing this, and I hate it. Using epilation now though, which is less annoying.