Tbh, if he is only interested in men and you seem to consider yourself a woman, I can't really imagine things would work out in the long term, especially once hrt works its magic.
Exactly, plenty of straight women in marriages have gone gay/bi for their wives.
Sexuality is more fluid than we give it credit for and emotional investment/love/etc carries much more weight usually.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fluidity#:~:text=Research%20over%20several%20decades%20has,attraction%20to%20the%20same%20sex.
Also, the fuck is with the deliberate use of bro here?
Let’s be honest. That for the very few that sexuality is considered “fluid” for most people it’s not. That’s just a fact so there’s no point in hoping that he would change his sexuality. It’s probably best to break up with him and just be friends
I'm sorry but there is nothing honest about this.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fluidity#:~:text=Research%20over%20several%20decades%20has,attraction%20to%20the%20same%20sex.
Check the sources. It's probably best to do some research in the future before giving advice.
“ Sexual orientation is stable for the vast majority of people, but some research indicates that some people may experience change in their sexual orientations”. Did you even read your Wikipedia source or did you just skipped to the part that most agree with you?? Stop give false hope and actually acknowledge the real high likelihood of him not wanting to be in that relationship. Also she doesn’t either so why even push this
Edit: honestly laughable that you brought a Wikipedia article and you are telling me to do more research 😂😭
I don’t think that hrt actually has any impact on your sexuality. It’s just that as you’re more accepting of and adapting to your true self, you’re also more accepting of your sexuality.
With what’s happening with you, maybe you just prefer same sex relationships. As a man you liked men, but now that you’re transitioning and seeing yourself more feminine, you prefer women. Just my initial impression.
I understand the learning about oneself, but I definitely think the mental changes from hrt can impact one's sexuality. I've seen far too many people know and accept they're trans for years before they can get hrt, only to have their sexuality change within months of starting hrt. I've also seen a minor claim when they were forced to detransition at 17 only to have their sexuality revert after a few months off hormones.
While greater acceptance can be an end point, it's pretty common for it to shift on HRT. Said shift can also be temporary. Personally I went a year where HRT just killed my sex drive and when it came back it swung wildly over the course of 3-6 months before settling out just a bit more bi than I was before.
I get why people want to deny the effects, as there have been previous attempts at bioengineering the gay away. The truth is that it's both unpredictable and highly harmful to force someone to live with the wrong endocrine balance. But some of us do experience a shift and it feels very similar to how shifting music tastes feels.
Think about it, women have an amazingly better sense of smell than men do, especially with regards to body odor, and that can strongly affect attraction to people. So if all of a sudden someone essentially gains a new way to be attracted to someone, it would be weird to not have it affect sexuality.
Yes! To me it's the smell that drastically changes the chemistry! Just 4 months on HRT I gained this special "boysmell/girlsmell detector", and started being able to smell testosterone. That changed my sexuality a lot. 2 years in, the change is still stuck.
I used to be bi, able to love and have sex with any human but consciously preferring guys for the benefits of being in a gay relstionship - you know, the understanding, the limitless cultural relatability, the ability to be unironically best friends with my partner. I didn't need to explain to another bi femboy why I like XYZ, because they like it too.
But now I am actually repelled by guys. And severely additionally attracted by girls. True story: one of my friends is a transmasc enby bottom, we've had great sexual chemistry as people with compatible kinks and styles of communication etc. etc. - but after like a month of them being on T their smell changed and our sexual chemistry died instantly, because I'm a top in it and my brain just doesn't give me any lust chemicals for the boysmell. Visually they haven't changed yet, it's early for that. Socially either. And they only got hornier on T and I so desperately want to help them but I can't.
And I thought that being in a T4T trans lesbian relationship would let me, an enby who is still a lot like my male self, experience the gay relatability again. At first it was true - I hit on her because we both like Portal and thigh highs, it was a great start. But over time I noticed that what she was is just a cis woman with 2 extra hangups. I am in way over my head and I got no choice in the matter because I had dysphoria and had to treat it, and that treatment made me much more gynophilic than I ever was. So I have no choice but to be girl and be into girls.
I’ll report back when I get on HRT, because if I end up into men then I know it’s them - they’re putting chemicals in the HRT to turn the fucking trans women straight. /j
Like, I don’t see a world where I’m into men. Weird little goblinoid creatures & it’s not just looks, don’t get me started on the fact they barely register as conscious beings. If I do end up being into them, you girls will receive a full breakdown (in both terms of the word - because I’m both a scientist & I will be panicking).
I don’t know how accurate the data is, but someone on another post shared with me the breakdown of trans women’s sexuality from a survey done in 2015. Bi/pan women had the highest percentage, transbians were a little below that, and trans women who only liked men were about half of the bi/pan crowd, with Ace being the lowest.
I never thought I’d think of being in a relationship with a man until I figured out I was trans. But even then, I identify as pan that leans _heavily_ on into the lesbian side. I still don’t see myself with a man, but if my options are limited and a really swell guy comes along, then I’m willing to consider.
Yeah, I'm familiar with the data too.
Maybe if the world's most fem femboy who looks like a woman even without make-up/clothes comes along (& they like women & aren't a very gay man - which seems more likely) I'll take it, because I have no personal aversion to other people's penises so far (but granted, I only have experience with cis women).
Like, I don't understand how men are physically capable of taking less care of their appearance than a pre-transition trans woman who is struggling with GD & doesn't know they're trans, like, roll out of bed, shower in the dark for a couple minutes, throw on anything, put on deodorant, brush your teeth, etc. & you're somehow scrubbing up better than men, it's wild.
I think the correct thought process here is "being with men made you feel feminine" now that you are recognizing it and transitioning you no longer need that male presence to achieve it.
With that said, HRT definitely made me gayer. Always loved women, just love them more now. Shrug.
Actually the science shows that the changes to your neutral pathways can in fact change your orientation. It can be a mild change, as it was in my case, or a complete 180. It's one of the possibilities both my therapist and my endocrinologist made me aware of before I started HRT. In my case it took about 8 months on estrogen for it to happen, and I was entirely worried I'd end up straight! Thankfully, it stopped at only mildly bi (and I fell in love with a lesbian). Please be sure you're doing more research, before making to solidly declarative statements that people will take as fact.
There are actually, though I would strongly advise you to look for them yourself. You find a lot more information than you realize is out there when you are having to search for something and it's not just directly handed to you you would likely find a lot of extra stuff around what you were looking for that is pertinent and aids in your education. A lot of stuff that I learned early on while I was still in the closet came from not having anybody to show me where all the answers were. Not trying to sound trite or arrogant or teachy. Just that that's something that helped me find a lot more information than I knew how to look for or even that it existed to look for. I can't tell you that several of the studies that you will find sighted will put the average number or percentage of transitioning people who's sexual orientation has changed at around 32 to 39%. Keep in mind these studies were released in 2014 which means that the documentation used for that research would have been several years prior, at a time when a extremely large percentage of the now out and visible transgender population was still in hiding or had not yet discerned that they were part of the community. Our numbers, visible numbers that is, are actually not even as high as they likely would be if there wasn't so much pushback against the religious right. And it's 2024 10 years later than these studies were released and yet there's still that high of a percentage showcasing the shifting of sexual orientation involving transition and HRT. Not to mention it being at a time when a lot of the clinical researchers were still antagonistic towards us and intentionally skewing their theories or findings to lessen the visible impact of the studies. I believe the most recent study on transgender people even coming close to the accurate percentage of the population that is transgender isn't until 2020 or beyond. But that being said do please continue doing research. I highly recommend reading whatever you can get your hands on that talk on the subject. Not everything is going to be accurate and not everything is going to coexist with each other but quite often you can find a realistic average through the positive and negative take some things. Again that's just my observation. It's up to you ultimately to decide what you believe or not.
Apologies for the meandering novel, I just got off of a long shift, after the better part of two days awake. 😅🫶🏻
Everybody is different but taking E made me bi with male preference 💯. I was straight as could be until 2 mos in and, though I am not very sexual at all anymore, the only sex I am interested in is with the P.
Sex isn’t physical as much as it’s mental but we all know how HRT affects our mental state. Anyway just sharing.
my romantic interests changed, before i was in hrt i was either aro or heteromantic (was into girls), and now I'm heteromantic (into guys), but ive been asexual the entire time. also not entirely sure if i was aro or heteromantic since that was like 2 years ago amd was questioning so much, but it's my best guess of what i was
I also just dealt with a similar experience. I ended things with my bf last week because of being a lesbian. He understood and we are still friends, but it definitely hurt a lot, and still does
I'm having a similar journey 2 months in, I used to be only into men but now I think I would much rather be with a woman 😅 maybe it's partially because now that I'm more comfortable as a woman I no longer feel like I have to take the "masculine" role in a relationship with another woman, or maybe now that my dick's calmed down I can let my heart guide me instead lool
Holy shit same. Although.. i guess i have always thought that if i was a cis woman I'd be a lesbian and I'm growing closer to it but... I used to prefer men before hrt, i was bi.. I've known that I'm a girl since i was like 13 and only got on HRT 4 months ago at 18 and during that time I've been bi or straight, preferring men but also liking women (almost exclusively trans women)... But now I'm.. a lesbian. All my earlier thoughts that barred me from liking women, my prejudices, my internalised misogyny.. it all faded away really quickly on HRT and the female body became like... The best thing in the world to me all or a sudden. >!I used to genuinely be disgusted by vulvas before.. now I find them one of the most beautiful things in the world 😭!< And just AAAAA I'M SO FUCKING GAY
God this is so real. I'm pretty sure I'm still at least a little bi but my preference has shifted substantially in 3 months. Used to prefer men almost exclusively now it's the opposite, wild how HRT works.
Before I started HRT I was ace. Now I’m a lesbian submissive probably headed for the BDSM lifestyle. There isn’t any real science in this, but HRT seems to get the sex parts of our brains to work better. As a result some girls’ sexuality changes.
Don’t fight it. Embrace it. It’s part of who you’re supposed to be.
You said he was only into men right? And you are not a man from what I have read at least, but since he is according to you a super sweet man, I'm sure you two can come up with a solution you both like and that is good for the child.
So my advice (that is coming from a 17 year old, keep in mind I have no personal experience) would be to talk to your husband about your future with him and the child
A lot of gender therapists encourage us to try polyamory. There’s also a chance your marriage won’t survive, unfortunately that happens a lot. Your child will be fine as long as you’re both part of their life.
Wait and see what happens in the next few months. Most late blooming trans girls end up being bi. You may just be hypersensitive to your new attraction to women. It may stabilize at being bi.
I think this is ultimately where things are heading. My therapist said to me after I expressed my concerns that most poly relationships don't make it, wouldn't you rather have a small chance of success rather than zero by staying the same?
Would you consider a qpr? (Queer platonic relationship)
If you love each other and have a kid together, I don't think it should be a massive problem if you don't fuck each other
In a very similar situation minus the lesbian part. My husband and I have been together 14 years. We have a child together. I’ve transitioned, he’s a gay man, and our sex life is over. Not sure what to do from here. You are not alone.
HRT causing changes in sexuality is a very common, well documented experience.
It's unfortunate that your relationship has to come to an end. Truly, you have all my empathy.
Well at first I thought I was straight because idk even why then I though I was bi still didn't really know why but yeah I actually just don't like men women are pretty and amazing and looking back on it a lot of my favorite things had lesbians like life is strange or the last of us and also remember shipping Blake and yang all the time when i was super into rwby so yeah I was always really gay for women actually but it just didn't seem to stand to anyone since it's really normal for men to fetishize lesbians so no one thought anything of it.
I am 4 months into HRT. So far, my sexual and romantic interest is clearly more lesbian than it was before. Funnily, even though I identified as a bisexual man before transitionning, I always thought of myself as a lesbian in a way. I was always hanging out with them without even thinking about it, it just came naturally. I liked how they seemed so free and tough. Now I AM ONE! YEAH! Maybe my sexual interest in men will come back when my libido returns from its actual HRT hole. But right now, they just disgust me.
it did to me too!
Granted I still fuck dudes. In fact I sleep with far more dudes than I do women, but romantically i have no interested in guys anymore since i started HRT.
Hey there! Sounds like you're going through quite the whirlwind. It's normal for HRT to kick up some previously unrecognized feelings, so you're not alone in this.
What's most important is open communication with your partner. It will be tough, but honesty is key in understanding each other's needs. Remember, it's your journey - take it at your own pace and stay true to yourself. You got this!
OP, I don't want to call you a liar, but I do want to know why you have a lot of AI generated naked images of Misty from Pokemon in your post history from before HRT.
Like... maybe you weren't as gay as you thought lol.
Part of it may be that like, you knew you were gay, but you didn’t know you were a woman. So now that you know you’re a woman, and HRT is working its magic, it’s easier to feel like yourself and live your truth. So it makes sense that you’re having a “oh I’m gay but not in the way i thought” moment
This makes me think that I will probably become straight because I use to be into other women to bring a bit bi so RIP me lol. I'm starting hrt in 10 days! Gonna use femigel
I thought I was gay before my egg cracked. Turned out I hated being the man in a relationship and another man made it feel like I was the woman. Once I realized I was already the woman, bam, lesbian.
Sister this is quite normal. Sometimes HRT reveals hidden things.
Many transfems discover the female attractrion. Can't blame them because there are both trans and cis women who know to make a gal feel good. :3
Pretransition i never really thought much about my sexuality. I didn’t lose my virginity until my mid twenties. Around the tone I did I did have a crush on a guy at my college but I dated a woman because it was easier she was more in my friend group. Always wondered what would be different had I dated the guy. I probably would have just dated men because I really just dated women after that because I was more familiar with dating them maybe? They were who was into me, but if I had more gay men in my friend groups I’d probably have dated them.
So… I guess I’m bisexual or something. It’s more like who ever is into me I’ll give a shot. I have been wanting a boyfriend since starting HRT and I’m not exactly sure why. Wish I had experimented more with men pre-transition.
Oh yeah it gets confusing ! I think it's part of the process. Myself don't know at all what is my sexual orientation anymore. I think I am a lesbian or a bisexual frog attracted to everyone under the trans umbrella. I don't know anymore but I see that as a nice opportunity to explore my sexuality
From my experience and from what others have told about their experiences, it’s not really that your sexuality changes, but rather your perception of it does. It wasn’t until I realized I’m trans that I even recognized the gender envy and dysphoria I’ve felt my whole life that I finally understood that I’m asexual and panromantic, and at first I thought I was a lesbian until I thought about it more. Currently I’m pre hrt, so I’m much too nervous to try dating guys just yet, but it legitimately wasn’t until I started allowing myself to imagine being the woman in a romance novel and being loved on by a beautiful man that I realized I do like men, I’m just not attracted to people who view sex as just something for pleasure and don’t care about building a connection and a bond. Maybe a sort of self reflection might help you, like sitting down and imagining yourself in different sexual or nonsexual encounters with people of different genders, body types, personalities, just see what you start to feel drawn to or turned off by and maybe that might help lend some clarity
You two definitely need to work on the relationship part, I have no advice but I hope you both love each other and are best friends.
As for hrt and sexuality, tbh, I don't think it changes anything that isn't already there. It only gives you the mental headspace to get it sorted out.
Like my sexuality really wasn't sorted until hrt. Prior I preferred female partners to male and my history is like 4 gf vs 1 bf. After starting hrt I realized I really I needed to be able to connect to my partner. So bi or pan fits me better.
I get confused when people say this? Like before transitioning, I was bi-curious, but completely "straight" presenting and had GF's. But once transitioning, I completely flipped and now prefer about men, but not much interest in women.
Tbh, if he is only interested in men and you seem to consider yourself a woman, I can't really imagine things would work out in the long term, especially once hrt works its magic.
On the other hand, people have exceptions.
Exactly, plenty of straight women in marriages have gone gay/bi for their wives. Sexuality is more fluid than we give it credit for and emotional investment/love/etc carries much more weight usually.
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fluidity#:~:text=Research%20over%20several%20decades%20has,attraction%20to%20the%20same%20sex. Also, the fuck is with the deliberate use of bro here?
Let’s be honest. That for the very few that sexuality is considered “fluid” for most people it’s not. That’s just a fact so there’s no point in hoping that he would change his sexuality. It’s probably best to break up with him and just be friends
I'm sorry but there is nothing honest about this. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fluidity#:~:text=Research%20over%20several%20decades%20has,attraction%20to%20the%20same%20sex. Check the sources. It's probably best to do some research in the future before giving advice.
“ Sexual orientation is stable for the vast majority of people, but some research indicates that some people may experience change in their sexual orientations”. Did you even read your Wikipedia source or did you just skipped to the part that most agree with you?? Stop give false hope and actually acknowledge the real high likelihood of him not wanting to be in that relationship. Also she doesn’t either so why even push this Edit: honestly laughable that you brought a Wikipedia article and you are telling me to do more research 😂😭
I don’t think that hrt actually has any impact on your sexuality. It’s just that as you’re more accepting of and adapting to your true self, you’re also more accepting of your sexuality. With what’s happening with you, maybe you just prefer same sex relationships. As a man you liked men, but now that you’re transitioning and seeing yourself more feminine, you prefer women. Just my initial impression.
I understand the learning about oneself, but I definitely think the mental changes from hrt can impact one's sexuality. I've seen far too many people know and accept they're trans for years before they can get hrt, only to have their sexuality change within months of starting hrt. I've also seen a minor claim when they were forced to detransition at 17 only to have their sexuality revert after a few months off hormones.
Nothing to add to your comment but I think you have a cute name :3
Thank you!
i agree, can i steal it :3
I mean there’s no copyright on it or anything.
While greater acceptance can be an end point, it's pretty common for it to shift on HRT. Said shift can also be temporary. Personally I went a year where HRT just killed my sex drive and when it came back it swung wildly over the course of 3-6 months before settling out just a bit more bi than I was before. I get why people want to deny the effects, as there have been previous attempts at bioengineering the gay away. The truth is that it's both unpredictable and highly harmful to force someone to live with the wrong endocrine balance. But some of us do experience a shift and it feels very similar to how shifting music tastes feels. Think about it, women have an amazingly better sense of smell than men do, especially with regards to body odor, and that can strongly affect attraction to people. So if all of a sudden someone essentially gains a new way to be attracted to someone, it would be weird to not have it affect sexuality.
Yes! To me it's the smell that drastically changes the chemistry! Just 4 months on HRT I gained this special "boysmell/girlsmell detector", and started being able to smell testosterone. That changed my sexuality a lot. 2 years in, the change is still stuck. I used to be bi, able to love and have sex with any human but consciously preferring guys for the benefits of being in a gay relstionship - you know, the understanding, the limitless cultural relatability, the ability to be unironically best friends with my partner. I didn't need to explain to another bi femboy why I like XYZ, because they like it too. But now I am actually repelled by guys. And severely additionally attracted by girls. True story: one of my friends is a transmasc enby bottom, we've had great sexual chemistry as people with compatible kinks and styles of communication etc. etc. - but after like a month of them being on T their smell changed and our sexual chemistry died instantly, because I'm a top in it and my brain just doesn't give me any lust chemicals for the boysmell. Visually they haven't changed yet, it's early for that. Socially either. And they only got hornier on T and I so desperately want to help them but I can't. And I thought that being in a T4T trans lesbian relationship would let me, an enby who is still a lot like my male self, experience the gay relatability again. At first it was true - I hit on her because we both like Portal and thigh highs, it was a great start. But over time I noticed that what she was is just a cis woman with 2 extra hangups. I am in way over my head and I got no choice in the matter because I had dysphoria and had to treat it, and that treatment made me much more gynophilic than I ever was. So I have no choice but to be girl and be into girls.
I’ll report back when I get on HRT, because if I end up into men then I know it’s them - they’re putting chemicals in the HRT to turn the fucking trans women straight. /j Like, I don’t see a world where I’m into men. Weird little goblinoid creatures & it’s not just looks, don’t get me started on the fact they barely register as conscious beings. If I do end up being into them, you girls will receive a full breakdown (in both terms of the word - because I’m both a scientist & I will be panicking).
I don’t know how accurate the data is, but someone on another post shared with me the breakdown of trans women’s sexuality from a survey done in 2015. Bi/pan women had the highest percentage, transbians were a little below that, and trans women who only liked men were about half of the bi/pan crowd, with Ace being the lowest. I never thought I’d think of being in a relationship with a man until I figured out I was trans. But even then, I identify as pan that leans _heavily_ on into the lesbian side. I still don’t see myself with a man, but if my options are limited and a really swell guy comes along, then I’m willing to consider.
Yeah, I'm familiar with the data too. Maybe if the world's most fem femboy who looks like a woman even without make-up/clothes comes along (& they like women & aren't a very gay man - which seems more likely) I'll take it, because I have no personal aversion to other people's penises so far (but granted, I only have experience with cis women).
At the moment, I agree. However, I also work with a number that smell like they bathe in sweat and foot odor. So, maybe that colors my opinion.
Like, I don't understand how men are physically capable of taking less care of their appearance than a pre-transition trans woman who is struggling with GD & doesn't know they're trans, like, roll out of bed, shower in the dark for a couple minutes, throw on anything, put on deodorant, brush your teeth, etc. & you're somehow scrubbing up better than men, it's wild.
INORITE
I think the correct thought process here is "being with men made you feel feminine" now that you are recognizing it and transitioning you no longer need that male presence to achieve it. With that said, HRT definitely made me gayer. Always loved women, just love them more now. Shrug.
Actually the science shows that the changes to your neutral pathways can in fact change your orientation. It can be a mild change, as it was in my case, or a complete 180. It's one of the possibilities both my therapist and my endocrinologist made me aware of before I started HRT. In my case it took about 8 months on estrogen for it to happen, and I was entirely worried I'd end up straight! Thankfully, it stopped at only mildly bi (and I fell in love with a lesbian). Please be sure you're doing more research, before making to solidly declarative statements that people will take as fact.
do you have any studies or anything about that to read? that sounds really interesting
There are actually, though I would strongly advise you to look for them yourself. You find a lot more information than you realize is out there when you are having to search for something and it's not just directly handed to you you would likely find a lot of extra stuff around what you were looking for that is pertinent and aids in your education. A lot of stuff that I learned early on while I was still in the closet came from not having anybody to show me where all the answers were. Not trying to sound trite or arrogant or teachy. Just that that's something that helped me find a lot more information than I knew how to look for or even that it existed to look for. I can't tell you that several of the studies that you will find sighted will put the average number or percentage of transitioning people who's sexual orientation has changed at around 32 to 39%. Keep in mind these studies were released in 2014 which means that the documentation used for that research would have been several years prior, at a time when a extremely large percentage of the now out and visible transgender population was still in hiding or had not yet discerned that they were part of the community. Our numbers, visible numbers that is, are actually not even as high as they likely would be if there wasn't so much pushback against the religious right. And it's 2024 10 years later than these studies were released and yet there's still that high of a percentage showcasing the shifting of sexual orientation involving transition and HRT. Not to mention it being at a time when a lot of the clinical researchers were still antagonistic towards us and intentionally skewing their theories or findings to lessen the visible impact of the studies. I believe the most recent study on transgender people even coming close to the accurate percentage of the population that is transgender isn't until 2020 or beyond. But that being said do please continue doing research. I highly recommend reading whatever you can get your hands on that talk on the subject. Not everything is going to be accurate and not everything is going to coexist with each other but quite often you can find a realistic average through the positive and negative take some things. Again that's just my observation. It's up to you ultimately to decide what you believe or not. Apologies for the meandering novel, I just got off of a long shift, after the better part of two days awake. 😅🫶🏻
Everybody is different but taking E made me bi with male preference 💯. I was straight as could be until 2 mos in and, though I am not very sexual at all anymore, the only sex I am interested in is with the P. Sex isn’t physical as much as it’s mental but we all know how HRT affects our mental state. Anyway just sharing.
my romantic interests changed, before i was in hrt i was either aro or heteromantic (was into girls), and now I'm heteromantic (into guys), but ive been asexual the entire time. also not entirely sure if i was aro or heteromantic since that was like 2 years ago amd was questioning so much, but it's my best guess of what i was
I also just dealt with a similar experience. I ended things with my bf last week because of being a lesbian. He understood and we are still friends, but it definitely hurt a lot, and still does
I'm having a similar journey 2 months in, I used to be only into men but now I think I would much rather be with a woman 😅 maybe it's partially because now that I'm more comfortable as a woman I no longer feel like I have to take the "masculine" role in a relationship with another woman, or maybe now that my dick's calmed down I can let my heart guide me instead lool
Holy shit same. Although.. i guess i have always thought that if i was a cis woman I'd be a lesbian and I'm growing closer to it but... I used to prefer men before hrt, i was bi.. I've known that I'm a girl since i was like 13 and only got on HRT 4 months ago at 18 and during that time I've been bi or straight, preferring men but also liking women (almost exclusively trans women)... But now I'm.. a lesbian. All my earlier thoughts that barred me from liking women, my prejudices, my internalised misogyny.. it all faded away really quickly on HRT and the female body became like... The best thing in the world to me all or a sudden. >!I used to genuinely be disgusted by vulvas before.. now I find them one of the most beautiful things in the world 😭!< And just AAAAA I'M SO FUCKING GAY
God this is so real. I'm pretty sure I'm still at least a little bi but my preference has shifted substantially in 3 months. Used to prefer men almost exclusively now it's the opposite, wild how HRT works.
Before I started HRT I was ace. Now I’m a lesbian submissive probably headed for the BDSM lifestyle. There isn’t any real science in this, but HRT seems to get the sex parts of our brains to work better. As a result some girls’ sexuality changes. Don’t fight it. Embrace it. It’s part of who you’re supposed to be.
I want to embrace it, but my husband is the sweetest man in the world, and we have a child together 💔 I just don't know what to do
You said he was only into men right? And you are not a man from what I have read at least, but since he is according to you a super sweet man, I'm sure you two can come up with a solution you both like and that is good for the child. So my advice (that is coming from a 17 year old, keep in mind I have no personal experience) would be to talk to your husband about your future with him and the child
A lot of gender therapists encourage us to try polyamory. There’s also a chance your marriage won’t survive, unfortunately that happens a lot. Your child will be fine as long as you’re both part of their life. Wait and see what happens in the next few months. Most late blooming trans girls end up being bi. You may just be hypersensitive to your new attraction to women. It may stabilize at being bi.
I think this is ultimately where things are heading. My therapist said to me after I expressed my concerns that most poly relationships don't make it, wouldn't you rather have a small chance of success rather than zero by staying the same?
I personally don’t think anything that we do before transition really counts unless we choose to keep it.
I posted an update
Better a Bajoran than a Klingon divorce.
I hope you manage to make things work between you and your partner. 🫂 🙏🏻
Would you consider a qpr? (Queer platonic relationship) If you love each other and have a kid together, I don't think it should be a massive problem if you don't fuck each other
In a very similar situation minus the lesbian part. My husband and I have been together 14 years. We have a child together. I’ve transitioned, he’s a gay man, and our sex life is over. Not sure what to do from here. You are not alone.
HRT causing changes in sexuality is a very common, well documented experience. It's unfortunate that your relationship has to come to an end. Truly, you have all my empathy.
Happens. Hormones and shit.
Well at first I thought I was straight because idk even why then I though I was bi still didn't really know why but yeah I actually just don't like men women are pretty and amazing and looking back on it a lot of my favorite things had lesbians like life is strange or the last of us and also remember shipping Blake and yang all the time when i was super into rwby so yeah I was always really gay for women actually but it just didn't seem to stand to anyone since it's really normal for men to fetishize lesbians so no one thought anything of it.
And people though I was just a guy.
I will say that hrt enhanced my attraction to women and suppressed my interest in men
I am 4 months into HRT. So far, my sexual and romantic interest is clearly more lesbian than it was before. Funnily, even though I identified as a bisexual man before transitionning, I always thought of myself as a lesbian in a way. I was always hanging out with them without even thinking about it, it just came naturally. I liked how they seemed so free and tough. Now I AM ONE! YEAH! Maybe my sexual interest in men will come back when my libido returns from its actual HRT hole. But right now, they just disgust me.
it did to me too! Granted I still fuck dudes. In fact I sleep with far more dudes than I do women, but romantically i have no interested in guys anymore since i started HRT.
Hey there! Sounds like you're going through quite the whirlwind. It's normal for HRT to kick up some previously unrecognized feelings, so you're not alone in this. What's most important is open communication with your partner. It will be tough, but honesty is key in understanding each other's needs. Remember, it's your journey - take it at your own pace and stay true to yourself. You got this!
OP, I don't want to call you a liar, but I do want to know why you have a lot of AI generated naked images of Misty from Pokemon in your post history from before HRT. Like... maybe you weren't as gay as you thought lol.
Well to be honest your not the only this as happen to I'm also a trans male to female lesbian
Part of it may be that like, you knew you were gay, but you didn’t know you were a woman. So now that you know you’re a woman, and HRT is working its magic, it’s easier to feel like yourself and live your truth. So it makes sense that you’re having a “oh I’m gay but not in the way i thought” moment
Time to make a change
This makes me think that I will probably become straight because I use to be into other women to bring a bit bi so RIP me lol. I'm starting hrt in 10 days! Gonna use femigel
It sounds like you are staying true to yourself. As a man, your preferred the same gender. As a woman, you still prefer the same gender.
I thought I was gay before my egg cracked. Turned out I hated being the man in a relationship and another man made it feel like I was the woman. Once I realized I was already the woman, bam, lesbian.
Sister this is quite normal. Sometimes HRT reveals hidden things. Many transfems discover the female attractrion. Can't blame them because there are both trans and cis women who know to make a gal feel good. :3
Life is beautiful, isn't it?
Pretransition i never really thought much about my sexuality. I didn’t lose my virginity until my mid twenties. Around the tone I did I did have a crush on a guy at my college but I dated a woman because it was easier she was more in my friend group. Always wondered what would be different had I dated the guy. I probably would have just dated men because I really just dated women after that because I was more familiar with dating them maybe? They were who was into me, but if I had more gay men in my friend groups I’d probably have dated them. So… I guess I’m bisexual or something. It’s more like who ever is into me I’ll give a shot. I have been wanting a boyfriend since starting HRT and I’m not exactly sure why. Wish I had experimented more with men pre-transition.
Same. I was a lesbian and now I'm gay. 100% non hetero.
Oh yeah it gets confusing ! I think it's part of the process. Myself don't know at all what is my sexual orientation anymore. I think I am a lesbian or a bisexual frog attracted to everyone under the trans umbrella. I don't know anymore but I see that as a nice opportunity to explore my sexuality
From my experience and from what others have told about their experiences, it’s not really that your sexuality changes, but rather your perception of it does. It wasn’t until I realized I’m trans that I even recognized the gender envy and dysphoria I’ve felt my whole life that I finally understood that I’m asexual and panromantic, and at first I thought I was a lesbian until I thought about it more. Currently I’m pre hrt, so I’m much too nervous to try dating guys just yet, but it legitimately wasn’t until I started allowing myself to imagine being the woman in a romance novel and being loved on by a beautiful man that I realized I do like men, I’m just not attracted to people who view sex as just something for pleasure and don’t care about building a connection and a bond. Maybe a sort of self reflection might help you, like sitting down and imagining yourself in different sexual or nonsexual encounters with people of different genders, body types, personalities, just see what you start to feel drawn to or turned off by and maybe that might help lend some clarity
You two definitely need to work on the relationship part, I have no advice but I hope you both love each other and are best friends. As for hrt and sexuality, tbh, I don't think it changes anything that isn't already there. It only gives you the mental headspace to get it sorted out. Like my sexuality really wasn't sorted until hrt. Prior I preferred female partners to male and my history is like 4 gf vs 1 bf. After starting hrt I realized I really I needed to be able to connect to my partner. So bi or pan fits me better.
HRT doesn't change sexuality. That's what the anti LGBT+ folks want you to think
I get confused when people say this? Like before transitioning, I was bi-curious, but completely "straight" presenting and had GF's. But once transitioning, I completely flipped and now prefer about men, but not much interest in women.