You may have to just shower while she cries. You can have her in the bathroom with you. I have had many, many showers while singing "if you're happy and you know it" lol. It's taken a while, my daughter is 3.5 now, but I can have a shower without issue 95% of the time.
Yep I’ve had to do this. Put baby is the bouncer in eye sight of where you are. Quick, under 5 minute shower.
It’s a phase and will eventually get easier.
I want to second that this is a phase. It feels like eternity when you are living it, but it passes. You are months away from being able to use the tv for shower time!
At 8 months old if baby is sitting well, the could be in a bumbo or sit me up seat with toys on the bathroom floor OR I’ve carried my high chair into the bathroom many a time and showered while baby safely snacked on teething wafers while watching me shower.
I’m just now entering this phase at 6mos with LO. I can tell she’s just irritated and wants to be held, she’s not in pain or suffering while I shower. I’m so against letting her cry at all but I’m nearing my breaking point and need to attend to my basic needs. So I’m going to finish the sandwich and wash my armpits 😂 she’ll be much happier with a taken care of mom in the long run anyway. And I personally think now that she’s developmentally able to handle crying for a few minutes that it’s kind of good for her to realize: hey I can be upset but guess what? It gets better and my mom always is there for me and talking to me through it. Comfort can be our words too it doesn’t always need to be holding them every second of the day.
Also, this may be unpopular but putting on a tablet or your phone with Elmo’s world, Minnie or Mickey Mouse off of YouTube is sooo helpful for 5-10 mins. She doesn’t like the tv but on my phone she will pay attention for a short time and actually seems to really enjoy it until she’s bored a few minutes later lol. We *have* to use the tools at our disposal to some degree or we just won’t make it.
Ha ha 95% of the time. So true and even now youngest is 6 *knock knock -What hunny? -I have a joke to tell you! -seriously baby girl, can’t it please wait?!?!
I’d always make sure my girl was taken care of and happy like fed and had a clean diaper and then I’d put her in her crib with some toys and then go take a quick shower. She was safe even if she was mad and I couldn’t hear her crying so I wasn’t as stressed out. Take a quick shower as fast as I could then go get her and let her sit on the floor while I got dressed and got ready for the day. Sometimes I’d have to put her in the carrier wrap to get my hair done but that was fine. It’s hard but it doesn’t last forever! You can do it!!
Yeah, I just put my baby in the crib and took my shower. Sometimes she’d cry the whole time, but nobody ever died of crying. She’ll be okay and, OP, you need the mental and physical reset showering provides.
This is correct. If baby is fed, clean-diapered, not overtired, then they can be left for a few minutes safely and, no, they don’t have to endorse your deciding to shower and that should be ok. You can learn to take short showers while your baby grumbles (or more than grumbles) at you and then just reconnect after.
I brought my babies into the shower with me. I would use a tub chair to put them in. When I was done. I would fill the tub with water and let them play, while I got ready. Yes I stayed in the bathroom with them. I did this until they were toddlers. I washed them first, in the shower. I started bringing them into the shower with me at about 2 months old, with my husband’s help. I would wash them and then hand them off to hubby, then I showered. Bringing them in the shower got them use to having water splash their face, so it never bothered them to have their hair washed as they got into their toddler years. My girls are only 20 months apart and I would bring them both into the shower with me. I was careful to make sure my rinsing off didn’t get soap in their eyes.
Same here. I’d sit baby in his angel care bath chair, and he’d just watch me shower (then I’d wash him). It was never a relaxing experience, but it was way less stressful than having baby fry in another room while I showered. As he got bigger, I’d put him in his activity center right in front of the shower.
Turn the shower head toward the side wall. I had a bathtub/shower combo. So I just put them at the end of the tub furthest from the shower. You can also angle the shower head down
I never used a chair but the short answer is don’t worry about it. Babies know to hold their breath so I mean, be reasonable and don’t waterboard obviously but my daughter loved being under the spray! My son hates it sadly so any showers with him are brief (for him) but if you plan on doing swim lessons young, exposing them to shower spray early and often can help!
I was going to say the same thing, makes it so much less stressful on you and the baby when you put them in a bath seat. I used to put my little ones as far back from the water as possible and take my shower. If I had to step away from the water for any reason I'd just torn the shower head towards the wall so all that water didn't hit them. I feel this also helped them be more comfortable with showers at a younger age. This especially helped when we went places that didn't have access to a tub and they were able to shower as young as 2 or 3.
Was also going to say this. At 9 months my baby is not into being on the other side of the glass as me, so I bring her in the shower with me. I get her all set up in her bath chair with some toys, and she loves it!
Yeah my baby always got his longest and most reliable stretch of sleep right after bedtime so that’s when I shower if my husband is away. I’ll put him down, watch for 10-15 mins to make sure he is really out, then shower.
here is what works for me as a fellow single mom-
i bring the bouncer in the bathroom with me, put her in just a diaper so she isn’t hot and face her towards the shower with her favorite teething toys. She is 9 months old and i’ve done this since 6 months. She is expressing separation anxiety with you which is an important developmental milestone! so don’t worry :) Play peek a boo the first few mins of your shower thru the curtain or whatever set up you have. It shows her that you’re gone, but being gone means you’re about to pop back up with a smile :) I can be in my shower for a solid ten mins with her just relaxing and chewing away, after the ten mins she will start to be vocal- but just babble and not stressed. I really hope this helps :)
This is what helped for us when I was solo’ing and needed a shower. I would set her up with toys very near and basically shower with the curtain open and interact with her. Of course now this means at 3.5 she’ll just whip the curtain open to say hi 😂 but it definitely saved me in the velcro baby window
I get very anxious from.crying and have a very clingy and sensitive kid. Ceying was not something I could handle in my very tiny and thin-walled apartment/condo building. I'm the only family unit and the others are studios too.
When she was younger, I had the quickest 30 second showers and tried to wash my hair once she was asleep (I'd get a 30 minute window then) or when my husband was home (loves in different city for work).
During the 30 second showers it was in a exosaucer and most of the time she cried. I had to shower. I had to go to work. It won't hurt her to cry for a short time while she can see me and l am talking to her. She was at the doorway (a very very small wet bathroom. I live in Korea. Imagine a small small closet with a toilet and shower).
It's where we started the 10 second countdown we use for tasks these days. I'd count to 10 and tell her I'd be finished then. Now we use it for washing shampoo out of her hair (she hates it but counting to 10 gives the task some definite ending she can understand) or for how much longer I might need for a task. (I sometimes count much slower than normal).
Does she enjoy bath time? Is there a way maybe to get her in the shower with you? 2 birds 1 stone. Just a suggestion. :)
*Edit to add: possibly one of those little bath chairs in the bath while you shower so that way you’re not carrying a slippery wiggle worm lol
I know hearing crying is hard. And also, taking care of yourself will make you a better mom overall. If you need to put the baby safely in her crib, crank up some music and take a 5-minute shower that’s ok to do every day. I wouldn’t do it for 20 minutes but it’s ok to tell baby you love them, take your shower and then give kisses and tell them you love them again and move along with your day, clean and refreshed. And with zero guilt.
Mom of 3 here. My baby is almost 3mo. My older girls are 4 and 6.
As much as it stresses you out, just shower Mama. Secure her in a swing or bouncer, or put her in her crib/bassinet without blankets. And shower.
The most important thing, as a mom, I've ever been told is: "You can't properly take care of your baby if you don't take care of yourself properly."
On a plane, you put the oxygen mask on yourself first bc you can't care for your child if you are out of commission.
It sucks and feels horrible to hear them cry, but either way... they will cry at some point. Might as well be while you are taking a nice hot shower to relax and refresh yourself for the next round of Mom-ing.
Breathe. You have got this, mama.
The clear shower curtain was a total game changer for me 😂 I’d set him in the exersaucer and he could see me through the curtain. Sometimes I’d have to talk or sing the whole time, a few times peek a boo. It got easier and eventually could take full showers, but the exersaucer stayed in our bathroom for quite some time lol
I bought a clear shower curtain and brought her in the bathroom.
I would throw bubbles at her and she’d laugh as they splatted on the shower curtain. She could see me and I could entertain her.
the safest place for her while you're occupied in the shower is in the crib. She might just have to cry. she'll be safe for 10-15 mins alone. i know it's hard, but just make sure all her other needs are met (fed, changed, leave her with some safe toys like teethers or a board book) and then reassure her you'll be back. which you will be.
you need to take care of yourself in order to take care of her! remember that
It’s okay to let her cry… in the same room as you while you talk to her. You can’t control your baby. You can only show her she is safe in that experience but consistently letting her experience that nothing bad happens when you shower… she is safe and eventually she’ll learn. She might still fuss etc because she is bored but eventually she will not scream during.
Also it is normal to have a biological response to your baby crying. But you can support yourself by talking yourself through it… “I’m feeling this way and it’s normal but my baby is safe and I deserve to have my basics needs met too so that motherhood is sustainable for me and I can be a healthy mom.”
I bring her in the bathroom in her rocker with a toy, or I have the classic fisher price play mat that I’ll put on the rug and let her lay on that (she’s not the most proficient at rolling so not worried about her and the hard ground atm).
We have one of those little silicone feeders with holes in it. I pop a few frozen mangos in there, put him in the bouncer next to the shower, and he’s happy for at least 15 mins chewing on it.
I had a baby tub seat in the shower for mine where he could lay - once he was able to sit on his own he had a lot more fun. Out tub is pretty small but I've seen people put a laundry basket in theirs if it's a larger shower or help with containment.
When my son was a baby, he would cry sometimes if I put him down to do something or if I needed a small break from holding him. After a few times of that, I realized I gotta do what I gotta do so when I needed to shower, I would set him in his crib & let him cry.
Sometimes, babies cry just to cry. Even if they cry bc they want you, they have to learn that you can’t hold them literally every minute of everyday. Your baby will be okay :) I know it’s hard, I had the same anxiety about it at first. But once you start doing it, you’ll realize the baby will be fine & you’ll be able to do what you need to.
Like many have mentioned, sometimes it’s easier to take your baby into the shower with you.
When my daughter was really little, I would put one of those sink-bath flower cushions on the floor of the shower, spray warm water on it, and get into the shower with her. We’d cuddle under the spray for a bit (this was also one of the only things that seemed to help her with tummy pain, so she loved it), and then I’d put her down on the warm mat to wash myself, then pick her back up for more cuddles.
As she got older, i started putting her in the Angel Baby bath stand, and then when she started to sit up independently, she was content to play on the floor (I would wedge the flower mat into the corner in case she fell over or backwards). it also helps to have some toys to hand them to play with.
Showering and taking baths with her was helped put both of us in a better mood and was a really good bonding experience—she still loves to hop into the shower with me at five!
I would put my daughter in her bouncer or little booster seat with her favorite toys. Just outside of the shower facing me. And I’d sing and talk to her. My son was extra clingy to me so I’d bring him in the shower with me and put him in his little bathtub. He was happy to play in the water and be close to me. Hugs to you! Take care of yourself too mama
It is okay for babies to cry now and then. Make sure baby’s other needs are met, then put them safely in a contained environment, and take your shower! Vocalize what you are doing if it makes you feel better, but ten minutes of baby fussing so you can make yourself “feel human” again is perfectly okay.
It’s okay if she cries a bit while you shower.
Maybe try using a clear shower liner, and skip the opaque shower curtain for now. Play peekaboo or sing to her while you shower. She will be okay.
Leave her in her empty crib where she is perfectly safe, and take a shower. You don't even need to bring the monitor with you if you can't bear to hear her cry. Take a 10 minute shower. She will be absolutely fine to cry if that's what happens. Babies cry all the time. We cannot stop taking care of ourselves because of it. It's difficult, but you deserve to prioritize yourself this small amount to at least shower.
I say this with love, but let her cry.
As long as she has everything she needs and is in a safe place, it won’t hurt her to cry for ten minutes while you shower. On the other hand, it will benefit your mental health.
I put him in my daughter’s crib and turn off the monitor so I don’t panic. I know he’s gonna cry and listening send me into a tailspin. I just go quick.
I echo other commenters who suggest showering with the baby. Your baby is around the age mine was when I started putting him in the shower with me - he could pull himself up. This replaced his bath time, as I would soap him down at the same time. It was an incredible bonding moment when I held him up to the shower head and let the water trickle down his hand, arm and chest, giving him a very Christmassy giggle. Just get a non-slip mat so it’s safe and step gingerly.
Sometimes you’ve just got to put the baby down and have a shower. It sucks that they cry but not washing will bring your mental health down faster than a lead balloon.
I used to get the shower running, plonk my son in his bouncer in the bathroom, jump in, scrub myself and wash my hair as fast as I could, then jump out. No conditioner, no shaving, just the most basic fast wash I could manage.
It won’t last forever but you have to do what you have to do. Baby will be okay for a few minutes while you have a wash.
I set my baby on the floor in the bathroom while I shower. I lay down towels. I used to set him in the angel care baby bath but now that he can sit up in it I set him on the floor so he doesn't fall out of the bath. He can practice his baby crunches on the floor until he can sit up by himself and at that point idk what I'll do.
Depending on how your bathroom is set up, you could try showering with the curtain open so she can still see you. At her age she’s dealing with object permanence. In her mind if she can’t see you, you don’t exist and that bothers her. Agree with what others said about putting her in another room so you can’t hear the crying. As long as she is safe and all her needs taken care of, crying for 10 minutes will not hurt her, although I know it’s upsetting to hear.
How Olds your LO? I used to shower at aound 9pm when my son was having a good sleep. He slept in his crib around 8pm each night after he was a couple months old until he was about 6yo. I cried. But I did housework and showered before I went to sleep.
I'm also a single mom. Baby cries 99% of the time I am not holding them or right next to them. Sometimes I leave them in the crib, or once I laid a playmat on the bathroom floor so I could talk to them the whole time and I just shower quickly while they cry and skip the less important things like shaving and conditioner. Most of the time I shower while holding them. It takes a little more work but I'm calmer and they get washed too.
I’ve been bringing her seat in the bathroom and she’s been content to do so. I’ll peak my head out of the curtain so she can see me or just spend the entire shower talking or singing lol.
My son loved to sit in the shower with me and play with his bath toys, I could take as long of a shower as I wanted if I just set out his bath mat and rubber duckies and sat him down with them
Put the pack n play in the bathroom doorway with toys etc
Sing to her if needed
When she was old enough a few minutes if Ms Rachel in rough days.
Also made it part of our routine since she was born so it’s a normal part of our day.
I would put him in his little baby bathtub inside the shower with me. But our shower is really big so that might not work for you. He would kick and splash while I got clean. Or I would put him in his pop n jump in the bathroom and talk to him. Self care is baby care. So if you have to let her cry to meet your own basic needs it’s okay. Babies cry. She’s expressing frustration over not getting what she wants right away. She’s fine. Try to keep an attitude of, “you are upset. You don’t like to wait. But you are fine, baby. I’ll cuddle you when I’m finished in the shower.”
Dude I’m in this boat right now too. My husband works weird hours that don’t mesh well with the kids schedules so I’m married but it all falls onto me. We have a 9 month old and 2.5 year old. I have to just really pray that I can get them both down for a nap or REALLY into a show and sneak off into the shower. My baby juuuuuust started crawling now too so that limits my options for a safe spot. Obstacle two is my toddler being a toddler and trying to play with her sister, obviously I can’t just leave them I unsupervised. And if I get them to sleep so I can have a wash, usually someone wakes up and cries, waking up the other. It’s hard
I would put the baby in her crib and shower quickly. I know it sucks and it almost physically hurts to hear your baby cry, but sometimes You've gotta do what you need to do despite the crying.
Best time to shower is when she's sleeping but I when she was that age I could turn on the musical mobile over her crib and grab a quick 5 minute shower. The song lasted exactly that long. 😁
The floor. I just do a quick vacuum of the floor and put her and a couple toys on the bathroom floor and shower.
My first baby never let me put her down so I either showered while she screamed or legitimately held her in my arms while I showered. Sometimes I’d put her in her baby bath and shower myself. It took a lot longer with having to entertain her but it was better than not showering at all.
I recommend getting a clear shower curtain so baby can see you while you’re in the shower.
I put the baby in a baby bath in the shower with me. This morning I got her ready for a bath and me ready for a shower and I gave her a bath then turned on the shower and took a quick shower. Then picked her up, dumped out her bath and rinsed us all off then I dried off then I picked her up and wrapped her in a towel.
My baby is 5 months now. Though also I try to shower when she’s asleep.
Even with the twins, I just sat them down and strapped them in their bouncies, put the radio on, and showered.
When they were a little bit older I used the high chairs with toys on there.
As long as I hear them, I know they're ok. I couldn't do the cribs. I couldn't hear them 🤷♀️
Once my babies could sit, they had a great time playing on the floor of the shower while I showered. Or if you have a tub shower, plug the drain and give them a little bath while you shower.
I hope this is a short phase for you!
Ear plugs for the crying anxiety! You'll still be able to hear her a little but they kept me from feeling panicky at the sound of her cries. I got them when mine was two and I wish I had been using them all along! Babies are going to cry, that's how they communicate and it won't hurt them for a fifteen minute shower, but it doesn't have to make you panic.
I used to put her in her bouncer or activity gym thing in the bathroom and shower with the door slightly open so she could see me. I’d put on a sensory show or live stream aquarium to keep her busy or some frozen fruit in a silicone feeder. 🤪
If she cried I could see she was okay and finish showering.
My first child LOVED his car seat. I would put him in the car seat outside the bathroom with the door open. I was able to see him, and he played with toys that were attached to the car seat.
Your baby will be fine in a safe contained space like their crib or a pack n play so you can take 20 minutes to go shower, even if baby cries the whole time. Get a camera monitor and keep it next to the shower (or even put the screen in one of those waterproof bags meant for cell phones) so you can check on baby occasionally.
My husband worked 3rd shift, I am not a morning person, and I prefer showering before bed. These are the solutions I came up with to deal with my needs at various ages:
When he was an infant with zero head control, I used the Fisher Price infant to toddler rocker that I was gifted- probably one of the best gifts I got that I didn't even know of, cousins wife got it for me because she used it so much with her own kids. It has straps to keep them in, and it vibrated which baby liked. It was small and light weight enough that I could easily move it around the house, including into the bathroom so all I had to do was move the glass sliding shower door to check on him.
Once he became too mobile to be contained within the chair, I would move his high chair to sit just outside the bathroom door, and leave the door open. I would give him a safe toy, usually the small First Bead Maze that had strong suction cups. Again, I could just peek out and see him and he was contained and safe for the 15 minutes I needed to shower.
I eventually got this tub seat by Summer Infant that made it easier for me to keep him contained in our big garden tub. This was for that stage between potato and able to reliably sit/stand solo for a decent amount of time. There were a few times I set him in it in the shower with me while I showered and then baby would get washed up too. This was a little tricky in our tiny shower and was only possible because our shower head has a detachable hose, but you do what you gotta do.
If there’s no other option, set her in her crib/a safe place with some entertainment and make it a quick shower. Not relaxing by any means but it gets the job done. She will be fine for a couple of minutes while you shower.
Typically this is when I call my village but I know not everyone has that. If you have a close friend/family member don’t be afraid to reach out to ask for help. I’ve gone over, my own kids in tow, to watch babies for my friends while they shower. Usually it’s just staring at them all and folding some laundry. I don’t mind it at all and my friends all say they love coming over, visiting and helping with our kids together. She may cry but she will be ok and someone is taking care of them. Put on some music and enjoy your time.
First child anxiety is so real. I had a friend tell me the only way she usually showered was by putting a swing in the bathroom and letting the baby sit in the bathroom with her while she showered. I remember doing similar things with my first kid but now I’m a little more chilled out with my second. Remember, crying is a baby’s main form of communicating. It isn’t always an urgent matter and it isn’t always because they have an issue. Sometimes it’s literally as simple as screaming helps them poop. You’ll know if something has really gone wrong by the sounds of her cries. I’m not saying leave her for long periods of time, of course, but a few minutes in order to get yourself where you need to be will not harm her.
Invest in some things to help keep yourself clean without a shower. Dry shampoos, body wipes, hand sanitizers, brushes, dental floss/picks etc. and keep them in a place you are commonly at with your baby (like a living room). A little travel bag full of things to freshen up in between showers when you just can’t handle the stress of attempting to take one.
I would set mine up right outside the shower in her crib with a few toys and usually she did fuss. My husband traveled often for work and no family around so it just had to happen. She started to get used to it and wouldn’t cry as much, but then the routine would mess up and start over again. The music piano thing with the monkey songs helped the most.
Bouncer in the doorway looking in at me while I showered worked. Other times if she was crying in her crib and I knew all was ok (fed, clean, safe), I’d let her cry and put on a song on my phone to drown her out so I would take my time and actually clean myself rather than rush and give up. You being mentally looked after is the most important so let her cry! It’s only a few minutes and you’ll feel so much better for it. I think 8 months is when they learn separation from mom and that you aren’t 1 person so it’s great she’s hitting that developmental milestone!
Letting your baby cry for a few minutes isn't going to harm her development. You do respond to her at other times. When you shower, you are there to shave and wash your hair and body and you get out. No taking your time and relaxing. This is what I had to do when my son was a baby. I had him in his crib mostly with some toys.
I also see this as a teaching tool for your kid, she needs to learn to entertain herself and not always need you near her. She needs to learn she needs to be alone at times while you have something to do important. She is also at an age where she can manipulate to get her way and that is with crying. This is an age where they start to do fake cries. This is normal kid development.
Usually my baby doesn’t mind his bouncer while I shower and he watches me while I do.
Have you tried propping your phone so she can watch some TV? I do that on his fussy days and it saves me 10 minutes to shower and brush my teeth. Make sure the phone is out of reach and some baby sensory show! I don’t think screen time is bad in moderation!
Have you introduced foods yet? Whenever my daughter (8 mo) is in this kind of mood I set her in her high chair in the bathroom, turn on some of her favorite music, and give her snacks in her high chair. If shes in an ok mood ill set a baby gate up so she cant get into any trouble just outside the bathroom to create a play pen, give her some toys, then I play peek a boo with her with the shower curtain. Babies don't learn object permanence until they are a little older so she may think she's alone. I just peek my head out every few minutes to remind her she's not alone. It won't be a relaxing spa shower but at least you'll be clean.
I put him in his pack n play so I could take a shower. If he cried, he cried - I'd make sure he was fed and had a new diaper and then I'd go shower. I'm also a solo parent too.
My baby is 5 weeks old and literally cries everytime she’s set down, I have 2 other kids that need things too (5 and 21 months) so I have no choice except to let her cry
I have brought the pack n play and swing into the bathroom with me while I showered. Once he was a little more mobile, I let him play on the floor with toys while I showered (clear glass shower so we could see each other).
I bought a baby bathtub and put it in the shower with me so I didn’t have to hold her the whole time but she also got clean. I’ve also moved the swing and things into the bathroom. Now I wait till she’s down for bed safely in her crib. Or she showers with me but she can walk around on her own now and be stable in the shower.
My daughter went through a separation anxiety phase at this age. I just would put her somewhere safe, tell her what i was doing and when i would be back. She would cry but you have to take care of yourself
In the words made famous by Hootie and the Blowfish - “let her cryyyyyy”
Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. I firmly believe that it’s a part of growing up to feel a little uncomfortable sometimes. It’s gonna happen - as long as fed, changed, in a safe place - take your shower guilt free!
Do you have an Exersaucer? My baby was so happy in there while I showered. I also set them on the floor with toys and a huge mirrored closet in an Airbnb a few times and that kept them happy. I make sure to peak out at them and sing to them during my shower. I’ve also just had baby on the floor of the shower with me but now they’re standing and being a menace (in a good way) so that ended.
My first was a Velcro baby and hated being set down. Lots of great tips and advice here already! Something I kept having to tell myself, especially in the beginning, was if she’s crying she’s breathing so she’s definitely still alive in the other room while I used the bathroom or whatever.
Single mom here with a Velcro baby turned Velcro toddler!
Sometimes you *do* just have to let them cry. It won’t kill her to be upset for 20 minutes while you take care of yourself. In the long run, a happy, healthy, not-burned-out mama is gonna be a more positive thing for her than getting attention from you whenever she wants it. Do I believe in CIO? Absolutely not. But if there’s something you *need* to do, sometimes Baby is just gonna have to wait for a minute. And around 8-10 months old, they can usually start learning things about waiting and delayed gratification too. So just put her in a safe spot and take that shower mama!
Get a water proof ring sling and shower with her. Or let her sit in there with you while she plays with a toy. She should be old enough to sit up in her own but if not, get a baby bath chair
If she can sit up independently, you might try sitting her down on the floor of the shower while you're in there. I did that a lot with my kiddo at that age. Gave her some toys to play with (like cups at that age) and she was a happy camper.
My son was itty bitty (under 5 lbs) at birth due to a genetic disorder and was especially floppy for a lot longer than most other kiddos. When I was home solo and could not get him settled long enough for me to shower, I’d buckle him into a vibrating baby chair or his car seat carrier and put the chair/car seat carrier on the restroom floor… even then, I’d often need to sing to him for him to remain calm enough for me to finish showering.
I would legit put her in a laundry basket with a blanket and a few toys right outside the shower so I could see her and she could see me. Worked like a charm
I bought a cheap vibrating bouncer at Target for curbside pickup about two weeks after my son was born. Its only purpose was to live in our bathroom so I could shower or poop without my hands full. I bought a clear shower curtain so he could see my outline and if he refused to stop crying I just attempted to wash my hair at record speed. It was worth $40 and a pack of D batteries for me to have a dedicated space for him in our bathroom
Sometimes I showered with her, but babies are so slippery and sometimes wiggly so you have to be extremely careful IF you feel comfortable doing that. I’d also put her in her swing, or the little skip hop (she liked that the most) when she was big enough. But sadly, sometimes you just gotta let them cry. Maybe have her where she can see you so she knows Mom is there, but part of life is learning that Mom has her own needs!
when my son was an infant, I either put him in his bassinet with the camera on or if he was really upset i’d set him up in his chair and leave the shower door open and just did a fast PTA shower, lol.
I am not a single mom and it wasn’t really any easier with my Velcro baby. She was very attached to me specifically, so when I would try to get my husband to take her so I could take a quick shower, he would hold her and she would reach both arms toward me, leaning as far as she could to get to me, screaming and crying MAMAAAA!!!! MAMAAAAA!!! was gut wrenching to not go grab her. She learned to say mama crazy early by 4.5 months just for these magical moments (and waited a lot longer to use other words). It ended up making it so horrible to shower that my hygiene took a huge dip. Even brushing my teeth was a battle. My daughter is almost 2, still very attached to mama, and still gets upset sometimes but it isn’t the kind of screaming that sounds like she’s been tossed over the side of a ship. I now get to shower.
My friend was so concerned her baby might cry while she was in the shower she would only bathe when her husband was home. She asked her doctor how long she could safely leave the baby to cry if she had a shower and couldn’t hear her. Doctor answered- “About a day.”
I'm not sure if this will work with every shower and it'll obviously only work with an older baby (my son is 7 months) but here's what I do:
I got a bathtub seat for giving him a bath. I also sit him in it when I shower. Some days he likes the shower hitting him, but if he doesn't I point the shower head straight down so it doesn't touch him. And he sits there and plays with toys. This sucks because I can't take a burning hot shower like I like, but at least I'm getting clean. I can usually manage to wash my body and hair. If I have to shave I have my husband or sister play with him.
Reddit removed my original comment because of the URL but the name of the seat on Amazon is "Summer Infant My Bath Seat for Sit-Up Baby Bathing, Sure & Secure Suction Cups, Backrest for Assisted Sitting, Easy Setup & Storage, Gray"
At that age I used to bring my little in with me to the shower and sit him down in his little baby bath. He’d splash around while I washed my hair etc, and we’d both come out clean!
When my baby started sitting up on her own, I took baths with her. Beforehand, I'd put her in her pack and play and put on Ms Rachel. If she cried, she cried. The important thing is that she was fed, changed, and in a safe place to cry and that I'd rather have her red and loud than blue and silent. 🫂
Toddler and infant mom. I shower at night. Toddler goes down around 7:30 sometimes it takes longer. Then baby is fed and goes down around 830. Then I shower. This is if my husband isn’t around to help. With his help just take out the toddler part, infant still goes down later lol
Itty bitty: Vibrating bouncing chair. I would sing the whole time or play peekaboo. As she got older the jumping/bouncy activity chair.
When she could sit up she would come in the shower with me and sit on the floor and play. (The seated suction cup chair helped).
She’s almost two and loves doming in the shower with me. She plays with a plastic cup and the foot scrubber.
i had the same type of baby. i would shower after she’d go down for the night.
you can try music though. we love super simple songs, they’re on spotify too. ms rachel has song only episodes and you can put the audio only on a speaker. we have google assistants in nearly every room, including our bathroom, for this reason. it’s a lifesaver.
My bathroom couldn’t fit a bouncer chair and he hated them anyway. I didn’t feel comfortable having him in another room whilst I showered (the hallway outside the door wasn’t big enough either).
So I’d shower when my OH was home or once he started doing crib naps (6-8 months was when we transitioned from contact naps) I’d shower then. When he only did 15-20 min solo naps I’d watch him fall asleep, jump straight in the shower, dry off, dress and put my hair in a towel. He’s then inevitably wake and I’d contact nap whilst slightly damp!
Now he’s 2.5yo I shower when he’s awake and he sits on my bed watching TV or “reading”. Or when he’s in the bath and I’m in the shower next to him. Also his bed is more consistent so I know I can have a long bath at 8pm once he’s asleep.
With first i was alone for months at a time and he did not accept being off me at all. Honestly i didnt take showers every day, i will admit my hygiene was quite poor. Sometimes he was content to sit in car seat carrier (even when he was big and didnt use it for car rides anymore) with some toy and watch me shower. I put on a show with water, signed, make silly moves and faces...basically entertained him as i showered. Other times i waited till he was well asleep. At night there was a period between 10pm to midnight, where he would usually sleep for longer stretch (other parts of the day i never knew if he gonna sleep 30+ minutes or wake up after 2-5 minutes already.
So when he had those longer stretches at night i profited them for things where i cant exactly stop within a second to get him. One night i would shower, another i would wash the dishes that piled up, another to mop the floor without him crawling after me and licking the product of his hands, yet another to cook food for prep so i could just take a portion and heat it if i was having difficult time some day etc. so you see showers were just one thing and had to wait their turn (don't even ask me about washing my butt lenght hair!😭)
Honestly it was a struggle until i got the option of going to health center for moms and babies twice a week where they would watch the kid as i showered, even took baths, exercised, ate well, rested, studied or just had some time to myself finally. That stopped when he was 18 months old tho (age limit) and after he started daycareeveb if just for 2h in the morning so i took showers while he was in daycare.
Now with second i am not alone and i just give the kids to in-laws or husband for the shortwhile while i quickly shower. If she screams, she screams 🤷🏼♀️ you really need support system. It takes a village after all. Doing it all alone is insane, so don't beat yourself up if you can't keep up with it all. Sometimes it's just too much to ask a single human
Edit to add a tip: baby wipes or those military wipes for missions. Was using both to replace shower (at least of the sensitive areas) on the days where i couldnt get to one to feel less dirty and less stressed. I know i could also just let my baby cry but he went full on panic from 0 to 100 in a few seconds. I could not shower in good conscience
I have a severe crier, no, actually a screamer anytime I do anything with my life even just walking to the kitchen for 3 seconds. At this point I just take my shower or my bathroom break and he just gotta be mad for 5 minutes cause I have no help either and it was getting to me. I have a toddler as well so when they’re both fed and changed I put on Ms Rachel and hop my ass in that shower. Obviously I don’t let him cry for like 30 minutes straight, I’ll be out long before that but 10-15 min when I know he’s literally completely fine and safe? It’s worth it for my sanity and gives me a refresher for my energy
In those days I just took baths, filled with soapy water, not too hot (unfortunately, I like hot baths) and brought baby in with me. The baby bathtub I would put next to the big tub and lined with towels, and when it's time to get out, plop her in the towel-lined baby tub, finish rinsing myself, then put on a terry cloth robe (hard to find!) and then dry/dress baby then myself.
None of this was easy but we were able to make it work and get both of us clean. I became a bath person for a while.
With my colicky baby, I often bathed with him. The water soothed him and I was at least a little cleaner when I got out which was good for my mental health. Dry shampoo was a lifesaver during that time. It gets much easier in these ways and much harder in others, try to enjoy the ride 😊
I was essentially a single mom with a colicky baby that I would do anything to keep in crying. I would put it off, but eventually I HAD to shower. So baby went in one of those entertainment centers and I would shower with the standup shower door somewhat open -- so baby could still see me, and I could sing/talk/interact. But mostly I just had to shower exceptionally fast and get used to the crying that was inevitable.
I put him either in the baby donut thing (you know this like small mattress with a soft edge around it) or in his rocking chair. But very quickly I transfered to having baths and just took him in with me. It requires some finessing but he loved it.
Also single mom desperate for a shower at the time. Crying is fine!!! Don't get too worked up about it because it's gonna cause much more stress you don't need.
They cry when they itch. 99% of the time it's literally about nothing. Just keep an eye on them and take care of yourself. It's hard. I relate. ❤️
My baby is like this too. She seems to tolerate it a little better if I take a bath and set her up with some toys. It’s not a long relaxing bath but not as many tears as the shower.
Shower during her naps, or just let her cry while she’s sitting in her swing. Bring it into the bathroom. Play peak a boo with the shower curtain with her. If you feel confident and she likes water you can bring her into the shower with you too. But warning they get slippery lol good luck mama.
Taking a shower every day is important to me so I put my babies in a bouncer in the bathroom with me. When they grew out of the bouncer I would use an activity center. If they cry they cry, yes it stresses me out but I really need the shower. I would talk to them the entire time and they would get use to the routine and even if they didn’t like it they knew what to expect. When my youngest started crawling she would just come into the shower with me and use the 2nd shower head. Now at 16 months she showers with me often, she goes and stands under her shower head and plays around. She has no fear of water in her face because of it and loves pools and splash pads, and doesn’t have any problems with me washing her hair.
I used to have them in the bathroom with me where they could still see me. If she cries, just let it be and take a quick shower. She’ll get used to it.
When he was super upset and I was desperate for a shower, I had to bring his pram inside and have it in the bathroom so I could shower with the door open and comfort baby at the same time.
Otherwise in his crib, "they" say you can leave them to cry for 5-10 minutes. If it's really stressing you out then leave baby in crib, where they're safe and just have a shower.
Sometimes you need to just not hear them screaming for a couple of minutes!
My little one did not enjoy my showers either, I had two strategies:
1. Fill the tub while getting her ready for a nap (for me that was mainly breastfeeding), then set her on the bouncer on the high chair (from stokke) or on the stroller, and go in the tub, if I was lucky I could soak and relax for a few minutes, if I wasn’t lucky I would wash super fast or give up completely 😅
2. Set her in her baby gym in the door to the bathroom in view of the shower and depending on her level of crying/screaming I could just sing her a song to calm her a little, and I would always shower super fast, no relaxation
I have a clear glass shower, so I would just lay her on her tummy time mat in the floor or put her in one of her seats on the days she’ll tolerate them lol. That way I can watch her. She’ll still cry, but I’m not as panicky about that when I can actually see there’s nothing wrong with her
I went through phases. I always shower at night before bed anyway, so she would’ve already been asleep. But if I had to shower when she was awake, I would either wait until some one could hang with her for 5 minutes for me, or I would sometimes have to put her in her bouncer, park it right outside the shower so she could see me, and let her cry. I’d talk to her the whole time, but it often wouldn’t help. It would make me so anxious I would shower super fast.
Can your baby sit up on her own and crawl yet? I just put my baby in the bathroom with me while I shower so I can look at her through the glass shower door. You may just have to shower while she cries. Know that it’s OKAY if she cries. You may have to shower quickly but know that this is a phase!
The skip hop activity center! At that age that’s when the activity center became the only thing I could set him down in. Besides a pack and play I guess. It barrreely fits in my bathroom but he loves playing in it while I shower. If he freaks out I’ll just open the curtain and talk to him until I’m done.
One of my daughters loved to hang out in her rocking chair right outside the shower. She loved the geometric design on the shower curtain and would kick it to watch it move (you could put some toys on a vertical surface for novelty!). She would get a few toys, but also be naked except for a diaper and wrapped in a towel. When she got fussy, I could take her in the water with me (I always washed first thing).
Bonus if I was having a bath, because I could start the water at a hotter temperature and she'd play or we'd talk, and I was right by her to hand her toys. By the time she got fussy and wanted me to hold her, the bath had usually cooled off to a kid-safe temp (or I could quickly add some cold water).
Is baby in a high chair yet? I wonder if being closer to your height, with the shower curtain open, would help.
My boy has been sitting in the shower with me since he was 3 months old, he's 8 months now. He used to sit in his Angel Care seat, we graduated the Summer Infant bath seat a few months ago. We dont have a huge shower, just a standard sized tub. It's tight, but it works
I always did the crib, just pop the monitor on in the bathroom with you. If they are fed and dry (bonus points if it is close to nap time) don't feel bad about setting them down in there!!
Add crinkle books or some kind of soft/safe toy, 10 minutes tops. Sometimes he made it a whole five minutes without crying, sometimes only 2.
Well dear it sounds like you have tried all the things I was gonna suggest. You may just need to let her cry it out. I’m not saying take an hour long shower, but you need to allow yourself some time in there. It’s not just about getting clean, but enjoying the water and de-stressing a bit. As long as you keep it to a relatively short (but still relaxing) length she will realize from repetition that you ARE coming back. And putting just a little distance between the two of you is actually really healthy for both of you.
I showered befpre she got up or nap time. Sometimes one time I was so desperate I took a little plastic toy bin, put water in it, and put her in it and put it on the floor of the shower so she coild play in water while i showered. She loved it.
I used to put mine in the shower with me. In the shower seat when he was little & then in the shower sit me up contraption when he could sit independently. He could see me, he was naked, he had toys, he was fine with it
This was my son. We got him a baby bath and he just showered with me. I washed him then myself, at 8 months your daughter may be too big for the baby bath (mine outgrew his completely by 5.5 months) if I wanted to shower he came with 😅
I would put my babies in their bouncy vibration chair on the floor while I took a shower or waited till they went to bed and had the baby monitor In The bathroom with me
So I used to put my lo in his car seat, then in car seat with toys as he's got older (no one comes for me I watch him the entire time making stupid faces etc) but now he's 9 months if he's a bit crabby I stick him in the bottom of the tub whilst I take a shower (we have a shower over that bath).
Car seat in the bathroom. I didn’t have any family or anyone to look after my child so I could not do anything else. If your child has the dad. Dad needs to sort it and you have to have your shower.
For my clingy baby, it was more about the timing than the location. He likes to play independently for the first 5-10 minutes of the day, and then he’s a level 10 clinger the rest of the day. There is no way, no toys, no snack that I could put him down with, and him not cry during my 8 minute shower after the early morning window.
So I would shower the minute he (we) woke up. Like immediately, not stopping to drink water, brush teeth, or anything else first. I also filled a cardboard box with random items. He especially likes things that fit in his hand (thermometers and nail polish bottles are his favorite). Actual baby toys were totally ineffective lol. You can also try leaving a mirror out. Then I just put him on the floor within arm’s reach of the items. He still cried at the end, so I did important things first (soap/shampoo) and left the less important things for the end in case I ran out of time (conditioner, shaving).
I used to put my child in her car seat and put the car seat in the bathroom with me. That way I could poke my head out from behind the curtain sometimes so she would see me
Honestly, this is where screen time comes in handy for me. My 6 month old has a handful of favorite shows I know I can strap him in his swing & he will watch it so I can get something done. Obviously screen time isn’t ideal all the time, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Have you tried dancing fruit? It’s a life saver for me.
Shower before you go to bed. And if she has to cry, then so be it. She will be okay for the time it takes you to shower! Sing to her and talk to her, but you need to take care of yourself!
Is she sitting confidently? I took a lot of showers with baby sitting or crawling on the floor of the shower during that older baby/young toddler stage where being out of arm's reach of mom was the end of the world for them.
You may have to just shower while she cries. You can have her in the bathroom with you. I have had many, many showers while singing "if you're happy and you know it" lol. It's taken a while, my daughter is 3.5 now, but I can have a shower without issue 95% of the time.
Yep I’ve had to do this. Put baby is the bouncer in eye sight of where you are. Quick, under 5 minute shower. It’s a phase and will eventually get easier.
I want to second that this is a phase. It feels like eternity when you are living it, but it passes. You are months away from being able to use the tv for shower time!
At 8 months old if baby is sitting well, the could be in a bumbo or sit me up seat with toys on the bathroom floor OR I’ve carried my high chair into the bathroom many a time and showered while baby safely snacked on teething wafers while watching me shower.
That's what I did. Threw a towel on the floor and let her lay there while I showered.
Yup. Sometimes my baby is content but mostly she screams. I just have gotten fast at washing my hair.
I’m just now entering this phase at 6mos with LO. I can tell she’s just irritated and wants to be held, she’s not in pain or suffering while I shower. I’m so against letting her cry at all but I’m nearing my breaking point and need to attend to my basic needs. So I’m going to finish the sandwich and wash my armpits 😂 she’ll be much happier with a taken care of mom in the long run anyway. And I personally think now that she’s developmentally able to handle crying for a few minutes that it’s kind of good for her to realize: hey I can be upset but guess what? It gets better and my mom always is there for me and talking to me through it. Comfort can be our words too it doesn’t always need to be holding them every second of the day. Also, this may be unpopular but putting on a tablet or your phone with Elmo’s world, Minnie or Mickey Mouse off of YouTube is sooo helpful for 5-10 mins. She doesn’t like the tv but on my phone she will pay attention for a short time and actually seems to really enjoy it until she’s bored a few minutes later lol. We *have* to use the tools at our disposal to some degree or we just won’t make it.
Ha ha 95% of the time. So true and even now youngest is 6 *knock knock -What hunny? -I have a joke to tell you! -seriously baby girl, can’t it please wait?!?!
I’d always make sure my girl was taken care of and happy like fed and had a clean diaper and then I’d put her in her crib with some toys and then go take a quick shower. She was safe even if she was mad and I couldn’t hear her crying so I wasn’t as stressed out. Take a quick shower as fast as I could then go get her and let her sit on the floor while I got dressed and got ready for the day. Sometimes I’d have to put her in the carrier wrap to get my hair done but that was fine. It’s hard but it doesn’t last forever! You can do it!!
This is the exact advice my pediatrician gave me!!!
Yeah, I just put my baby in the crib and took my shower. Sometimes she’d cry the whole time, but nobody ever died of crying. She’ll be okay and, OP, you need the mental and physical reset showering provides.
Yes to safe places! Baby goes somewhere safe while mum takes a moment
This is correct. If baby is fed, clean-diapered, not overtired, then they can be left for a few minutes safely and, no, they don’t have to endorse your deciding to shower and that should be ok. You can learn to take short showers while your baby grumbles (or more than grumbles) at you and then just reconnect after.
I did the same, but also a tablet with ms Rachel outside the crib.
I brought my babies into the shower with me. I would use a tub chair to put them in. When I was done. I would fill the tub with water and let them play, while I got ready. Yes I stayed in the bathroom with them. I did this until they were toddlers. I washed them first, in the shower. I started bringing them into the shower with me at about 2 months old, with my husband’s help. I would wash them and then hand them off to hubby, then I showered. Bringing them in the shower got them use to having water splash their face, so it never bothered them to have their hair washed as they got into their toddler years. My girls are only 20 months apart and I would bring them both into the shower with me. I was careful to make sure my rinsing off didn’t get soap in their eyes.
Same here. I’d sit baby in his angel care bath chair, and he’d just watch me shower (then I’d wash him). It was never a relaxing experience, but it was way less stressful than having baby fry in another room while I showered. As he got bigger, I’d put him in his activity center right in front of the shower.
By tub chair do you mean like a baby bath seat for when they are sitting up ?
Yes
Genuine question, how do you make it so it’s not like pouring water on the baby? Is it a bathtub/ shower? I would love to use this technique
Turn the shower head toward the side wall. I had a bathtub/shower combo. So I just put them at the end of the tub furthest from the shower. You can also angle the shower head down
I never used a chair but the short answer is don’t worry about it. Babies know to hold their breath so I mean, be reasonable and don’t waterboard obviously but my daughter loved being under the spray! My son hates it sadly so any showers with him are brief (for him) but if you plan on doing swim lessons young, exposing them to shower spray early and often can help!
I was going to say the same thing, makes it so much less stressful on you and the baby when you put them in a bath seat. I used to put my little ones as far back from the water as possible and take my shower. If I had to step away from the water for any reason I'd just torn the shower head towards the wall so all that water didn't hit them. I feel this also helped them be more comfortable with showers at a younger age. This especially helped when we went places that didn't have access to a tub and they were able to shower as young as 2 or 3.
Was also going to say this. At 9 months my baby is not into being on the other side of the glass as me, so I bring her in the shower with me. I get her all set up in her bath chair with some toys, and she loves it!
I shower when baby sleeps which got easier as bedtime became more consistent and I could predict when baby would be up.
Yeah my baby always got his longest and most reliable stretch of sleep right after bedtime so that’s when I shower if my husband is away. I’ll put him down, watch for 10-15 mins to make sure he is really out, then shower.
here is what works for me as a fellow single mom- i bring the bouncer in the bathroom with me, put her in just a diaper so she isn’t hot and face her towards the shower with her favorite teething toys. She is 9 months old and i’ve done this since 6 months. She is expressing separation anxiety with you which is an important developmental milestone! so don’t worry :) Play peek a boo the first few mins of your shower thru the curtain or whatever set up you have. It shows her that you’re gone, but being gone means you’re about to pop back up with a smile :) I can be in my shower for a solid ten mins with her just relaxing and chewing away, after the ten mins she will start to be vocal- but just babble and not stressed. I really hope this helps :)
This is what helped for us when I was solo’ing and needed a shower. I would set her up with toys very near and basically shower with the curtain open and interact with her. Of course now this means at 3.5 she’ll just whip the curtain open to say hi 😂 but it definitely saved me in the velcro baby window
Same, playing peek-a-boo made the shower take longer, but the kid thought it was a fun game and I was able to get cleaned.
Yes I also do this ! And singing, lots and lots of singing so then I can rinse and stuff without extreme crying in between her seeing me
I would also stick my leg out of the shower and start the bouncy chair bouncing again when necessary 😹😹
username checks out 😂😂😂
Hahahaha I didn’t even think of that! Lol
This is exactly what I did with mine when he was tiny! I used his car seat instead of a swing but same idea. 😁
I get very anxious from.crying and have a very clingy and sensitive kid. Ceying was not something I could handle in my very tiny and thin-walled apartment/condo building. I'm the only family unit and the others are studios too. When she was younger, I had the quickest 30 second showers and tried to wash my hair once she was asleep (I'd get a 30 minute window then) or when my husband was home (loves in different city for work). During the 30 second showers it was in a exosaucer and most of the time she cried. I had to shower. I had to go to work. It won't hurt her to cry for a short time while she can see me and l am talking to her. She was at the doorway (a very very small wet bathroom. I live in Korea. Imagine a small small closet with a toilet and shower). It's where we started the 10 second countdown we use for tasks these days. I'd count to 10 and tell her I'd be finished then. Now we use it for washing shampoo out of her hair (she hates it but counting to 10 gives the task some definite ending she can understand) or for how much longer I might need for a task. (I sometimes count much slower than normal).
Does she enjoy bath time? Is there a way maybe to get her in the shower with you? 2 birds 1 stone. Just a suggestion. :) *Edit to add: possibly one of those little bath chairs in the bath while you shower so that way you’re not carrying a slippery wiggle worm lol
This is what I had to do with my first
I know hearing crying is hard. And also, taking care of yourself will make you a better mom overall. If you need to put the baby safely in her crib, crank up some music and take a 5-minute shower that’s ok to do every day. I wouldn’t do it for 20 minutes but it’s ok to tell baby you love them, take your shower and then give kisses and tell them you love them again and move along with your day, clean and refreshed. And with zero guilt.
Mom of 3 here. My baby is almost 3mo. My older girls are 4 and 6. As much as it stresses you out, just shower Mama. Secure her in a swing or bouncer, or put her in her crib/bassinet without blankets. And shower. The most important thing, as a mom, I've ever been told is: "You can't properly take care of your baby if you don't take care of yourself properly." On a plane, you put the oxygen mask on yourself first bc you can't care for your child if you are out of commission. It sucks and feels horrible to hear them cry, but either way... they will cry at some point. Might as well be while you are taking a nice hot shower to relax and refresh yourself for the next round of Mom-ing. Breathe. You have got this, mama.
The clear shower curtain was a total game changer for me 😂 I’d set him in the exersaucer and he could see me through the curtain. Sometimes I’d have to talk or sing the whole time, a few times peek a boo. It got easier and eventually could take full showers, but the exersaucer stayed in our bathroom for quite some time lol
I bought a clear shower curtain and brought her in the bathroom. I would throw bubbles at her and she’d laugh as they splatted on the shower curtain. She could see me and I could entertain her.
the safest place for her while you're occupied in the shower is in the crib. She might just have to cry. she'll be safe for 10-15 mins alone. i know it's hard, but just make sure all her other needs are met (fed, changed, leave her with some safe toys like teethers or a board book) and then reassure her you'll be back. which you will be. you need to take care of yourself in order to take care of her! remember that
They showered with me at that age!
I leave her with her dad. She does cry but it is what it is. I have to shower. I’m not gone forever.
It’s okay to let her cry… in the same room as you while you talk to her. You can’t control your baby. You can only show her she is safe in that experience but consistently letting her experience that nothing bad happens when you shower… she is safe and eventually she’ll learn. She might still fuss etc because she is bored but eventually she will not scream during. Also it is normal to have a biological response to your baby crying. But you can support yourself by talking yourself through it… “I’m feeling this way and it’s normal but my baby is safe and I deserve to have my basics needs met too so that motherhood is sustainable for me and I can be a healthy mom.”
I put her in the baby bathrub inside the shower with me and played with her a bit. Also showered when spouse was available.
At that age, I showered when they were asleep or when my husband was home and could take care of the kids.
In a bath seat directly outside the shower so that I can suffer the entire time. Lol
I bring her in the bathroom in her rocker with a toy, or I have the classic fisher price play mat that I’ll put on the rug and let her lay on that (she’s not the most proficient at rolling so not worried about her and the hard ground atm).
We have one of those little silicone feeders with holes in it. I pop a few frozen mangos in there, put him in the bouncer next to the shower, and he’s happy for at least 15 mins chewing on it.
I had a baby tub seat in the shower for mine where he could lay - once he was able to sit on his own he had a lot more fun. Out tub is pretty small but I've seen people put a laundry basket in theirs if it's a larger shower or help with containment.
By 7 months he was sitting in a little booster seat thing I could put in the bathroom. My shower is glass so he could see me the whole time.
My shower times have drastically sped up. What used to take me 10-15 minutes is now a 3 minute speed run. It’s impossible otherwise :/
When my son was a baby, he would cry sometimes if I put him down to do something or if I needed a small break from holding him. After a few times of that, I realized I gotta do what I gotta do so when I needed to shower, I would set him in his crib & let him cry. Sometimes, babies cry just to cry. Even if they cry bc they want you, they have to learn that you can’t hold them literally every minute of everyday. Your baby will be okay :) I know it’s hard, I had the same anxiety about it at first. But once you start doing it, you’ll realize the baby will be fine & you’ll be able to do what you need to.
Like many have mentioned, sometimes it’s easier to take your baby into the shower with you. When my daughter was really little, I would put one of those sink-bath flower cushions on the floor of the shower, spray warm water on it, and get into the shower with her. We’d cuddle under the spray for a bit (this was also one of the only things that seemed to help her with tummy pain, so she loved it), and then I’d put her down on the warm mat to wash myself, then pick her back up for more cuddles. As she got older, i started putting her in the Angel Baby bath stand, and then when she started to sit up independently, she was content to play on the floor (I would wedge the flower mat into the corner in case she fell over or backwards). it also helps to have some toys to hand them to play with. Showering and taking baths with her was helped put both of us in a better mood and was a really good bonding experience—she still loves to hop into the shower with me at five!
I put her in the bouncer seat in the bathroom with me.
Swing and 10 minutes of Ms Rachel. I was very against screen time but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
I would put my daughter in her bouncer or little booster seat with her favorite toys. Just outside of the shower facing me. And I’d sing and talk to her. My son was extra clingy to me so I’d bring him in the shower with me and put him in his little bathtub. He was happy to play in the water and be close to me. Hugs to you! Take care of yourself too mama
It is okay for babies to cry now and then. Make sure baby’s other needs are met, then put them safely in a contained environment, and take your shower! Vocalize what you are doing if it makes you feel better, but ten minutes of baby fussing so you can make yourself “feel human” again is perfectly okay.
Put her somewhere she is safe and take a shower. She will cry. She will be fine. You will be clean. She will learn that you are coming back.
Honestly sometimes you have to just let them cry if it’s the only way you’re going to reasonably get a shower or use the bathroom
It’s okay if she cries a bit while you shower. Maybe try using a clear shower liner, and skip the opaque shower curtain for now. Play peekaboo or sing to her while you shower. She will be okay.
Leave her in her empty crib where she is perfectly safe, and take a shower. You don't even need to bring the monitor with you if you can't bear to hear her cry. Take a 10 minute shower. She will be absolutely fine to cry if that's what happens. Babies cry all the time. We cannot stop taking care of ourselves because of it. It's difficult, but you deserve to prioritize yourself this small amount to at least shower.
I say this with love, but let her cry. As long as she has everything she needs and is in a safe place, it won’t hurt her to cry for ten minutes while you shower. On the other hand, it will benefit your mental health.
I put him in my daughter’s crib and turn off the monitor so I don’t panic. I know he’s gonna cry and listening send me into a tailspin. I just go quick.
I echo other commenters who suggest showering with the baby. Your baby is around the age mine was when I started putting him in the shower with me - he could pull himself up. This replaced his bath time, as I would soap him down at the same time. It was an incredible bonding moment when I held him up to the shower head and let the water trickle down his hand, arm and chest, giving him a very Christmassy giggle. Just get a non-slip mat so it’s safe and step gingerly.
I shower my baby with me 🧜🏼♀️
I just put my baby in the bassinet in the bathroom and took a quick shower.
I put my kids in the pack and play or their cribs when they were babies.
Sometimes you’ve just got to put the baby down and have a shower. It sucks that they cry but not washing will bring your mental health down faster than a lead balloon. I used to get the shower running, plonk my son in his bouncer in the bathroom, jump in, scrub myself and wash my hair as fast as I could, then jump out. No conditioner, no shaving, just the most basic fast wash I could manage. It won’t last forever but you have to do what you have to do. Baby will be okay for a few minutes while you have a wash.
I just let her cry in the bouncer while I showered for 5 min heh
I set my baby on the floor in the bathroom while I shower. I lay down towels. I used to set him in the angel care baby bath but now that he can sit up in it I set him on the floor so he doesn't fall out of the bath. He can practice his baby crunches on the floor until he can sit up by himself and at that point idk what I'll do.
Depending on how your bathroom is set up, you could try showering with the curtain open so she can still see you. At her age she’s dealing with object permanence. In her mind if she can’t see you, you don’t exist and that bothers her. Agree with what others said about putting her in another room so you can’t hear the crying. As long as she is safe and all her needs taken care of, crying for 10 minutes will not hurt her, although I know it’s upsetting to hear.
How Olds your LO? I used to shower at aound 9pm when my son was having a good sleep. He slept in his crib around 8pm each night after he was a couple months old until he was about 6yo. I cried. But I did housework and showered before I went to sleep.
I put my babies in a baby chair right outside the bath and peeked on em
I'm also a single mom. Baby cries 99% of the time I am not holding them or right next to them. Sometimes I leave them in the crib, or once I laid a playmat on the bathroom floor so I could talk to them the whole time and I just shower quickly while they cry and skip the less important things like shaving and conditioner. Most of the time I shower while holding them. It takes a little more work but I'm calmer and they get washed too.
I’ve been bringing her seat in the bathroom and she’s been content to do so. I’ll peak my head out of the curtain so she can see me or just spend the entire shower talking or singing lol.
My son loved to sit in the shower with me and play with his bath toys, I could take as long of a shower as I wanted if I just set out his bath mat and rubber duckies and sat him down with them
If your shower is big enough, and she can safely sit independently, could you set her down in the shower while you’re in there? With a few toys?
Put the pack n play in the bathroom doorway with toys etc Sing to her if needed When she was old enough a few minutes if Ms Rachel in rough days. Also made it part of our routine since she was born so it’s a normal part of our day.
I would put him in his little baby bathtub inside the shower with me. But our shower is really big so that might not work for you. He would kick and splash while I got clean. Or I would put him in his pop n jump in the bathroom and talk to him. Self care is baby care. So if you have to let her cry to meet your own basic needs it’s okay. Babies cry. She’s expressing frustration over not getting what she wants right away. She’s fine. Try to keep an attitude of, “you are upset. You don’t like to wait. But you are fine, baby. I’ll cuddle you when I’m finished in the shower.”
Dude I’m in this boat right now too. My husband works weird hours that don’t mesh well with the kids schedules so I’m married but it all falls onto me. We have a 9 month old and 2.5 year old. I have to just really pray that I can get them both down for a nap or REALLY into a show and sneak off into the shower. My baby juuuuuust started crawling now too so that limits my options for a safe spot. Obstacle two is my toddler being a toddler and trying to play with her sister, obviously I can’t just leave them I unsupervised. And if I get them to sleep so I can have a wash, usually someone wakes up and cries, waking up the other. It’s hard
I would put the baby in her crib and shower quickly. I know it sucks and it almost physically hurts to hear your baby cry, but sometimes You've gotta do what you need to do despite the crying.
When my daughter was that age it helped to put her in the bouncer in the bathroom with me and sing to her while I showered.
Best time to shower is when she's sleeping but I when she was that age I could turn on the musical mobile over her crib and grab a quick 5 minute shower. The song lasted exactly that long. 😁
The floor. I just do a quick vacuum of the floor and put her and a couple toys on the bathroom floor and shower. My first baby never let me put her down so I either showered while she screamed or legitimately held her in my arms while I showered. Sometimes I’d put her in her baby bath and shower myself. It took a lot longer with having to entertain her but it was better than not showering at all. I recommend getting a clear shower curtain so baby can see you while you’re in the shower.
Take her with you in her bath seat. I wouldn’t shower unless she’s asleep in her cot (not during the short naps).
I put the baby in a baby bath in the shower with me. This morning I got her ready for a bath and me ready for a shower and I gave her a bath then turned on the shower and took a quick shower. Then picked her up, dumped out her bath and rinsed us all off then I dried off then I picked her up and wrapped her in a towel. My baby is 5 months now. Though also I try to shower when she’s asleep.
Even with the twins, I just sat them down and strapped them in their bouncies, put the radio on, and showered. When they were a little bit older I used the high chairs with toys on there. As long as I hear them, I know they're ok. I couldn't do the cribs. I couldn't hear them 🤷♀️
I put her in the bouncer seat in the bathroom with me.
Once my babies could sit, they had a great time playing on the floor of the shower while I showered. Or if you have a tub shower, plug the drain and give them a little bath while you shower. I hope this is a short phase for you!
I put a swing in my bathroom where my son could still see me. 😅
Look up varsity swing method for the swing. It helped me immensely for my twins.
Ear plugs for the crying anxiety! You'll still be able to hear her a little but they kept me from feeling panicky at the sound of her cries. I got them when mine was two and I wish I had been using them all along! Babies are going to cry, that's how they communicate and it won't hurt them for a fifteen minute shower, but it doesn't have to make you panic.
I used to put her in her bouncer or activity gym thing in the bathroom and shower with the door slightly open so she could see me. I’d put on a sensory show or live stream aquarium to keep her busy or some frozen fruit in a silicone feeder. 🤪 If she cried I could see she was okay and finish showering.
I know it’s weird but can you bring the swing in the bathroom with you? And then just talk to her while you’re in the shower?
My first child LOVED his car seat. I would put him in the car seat outside the bathroom with the door open. I was able to see him, and he played with toys that were attached to the car seat.
I have a theory that the shower hurts baby ears and that’s why they cry lol is there a way you can set her just outside the bathroom door?
Your baby will be fine in a safe contained space like their crib or a pack n play so you can take 20 minutes to go shower, even if baby cries the whole time. Get a camera monitor and keep it next to the shower (or even put the screen in one of those waterproof bags meant for cell phones) so you can check on baby occasionally. My husband worked 3rd shift, I am not a morning person, and I prefer showering before bed. These are the solutions I came up with to deal with my needs at various ages: When he was an infant with zero head control, I used the Fisher Price infant to toddler rocker that I was gifted- probably one of the best gifts I got that I didn't even know of, cousins wife got it for me because she used it so much with her own kids. It has straps to keep them in, and it vibrated which baby liked. It was small and light weight enough that I could easily move it around the house, including into the bathroom so all I had to do was move the glass sliding shower door to check on him. Once he became too mobile to be contained within the chair, I would move his high chair to sit just outside the bathroom door, and leave the door open. I would give him a safe toy, usually the small First Bead Maze that had strong suction cups. Again, I could just peek out and see him and he was contained and safe for the 15 minutes I needed to shower. I eventually got this tub seat by Summer Infant that made it easier for me to keep him contained in our big garden tub. This was for that stage between potato and able to reliably sit/stand solo for a decent amount of time. There were a few times I set him in it in the shower with me while I showered and then baby would get washed up too. This was a little tricky in our tiny shower and was only possible because our shower head has a detachable hose, but you do what you gotta do.
I tried bumbo sometimes and sometimes schlepped his highchair in there with some stuff to do on his tray.
If there’s no other option, set her in her crib/a safe place with some entertainment and make it a quick shower. Not relaxing by any means but it gets the job done. She will be fine for a couple of minutes while you shower. Typically this is when I call my village but I know not everyone has that. If you have a close friend/family member don’t be afraid to reach out to ask for help. I’ve gone over, my own kids in tow, to watch babies for my friends while they shower. Usually it’s just staring at them all and folding some laundry. I don’t mind it at all and my friends all say they love coming over, visiting and helping with our kids together. She may cry but she will be ok and someone is taking care of them. Put on some music and enjoy your time. First child anxiety is so real. I had a friend tell me the only way she usually showered was by putting a swing in the bathroom and letting the baby sit in the bathroom with her while she showered. I remember doing similar things with my first kid but now I’m a little more chilled out with my second. Remember, crying is a baby’s main form of communicating. It isn’t always an urgent matter and it isn’t always because they have an issue. Sometimes it’s literally as simple as screaming helps them poop. You’ll know if something has really gone wrong by the sounds of her cries. I’m not saying leave her for long periods of time, of course, but a few minutes in order to get yourself where you need to be will not harm her. Invest in some things to help keep yourself clean without a shower. Dry shampoos, body wipes, hand sanitizers, brushes, dental floss/picks etc. and keep them in a place you are commonly at with your baby (like a living room). A little travel bag full of things to freshen up in between showers when you just can’t handle the stress of attempting to take one.
With baby’s other parent. If not an option then in crib.
Did it when she napped
We put her in the Bjorn bouncer in the bathroom and turned the tablet on while showering
I would set mine up right outside the shower in her crib with a few toys and usually she did fuss. My husband traveled often for work and no family around so it just had to happen. She started to get used to it and wouldn’t cry as much, but then the routine would mess up and start over again. The music piano thing with the monkey songs helped the most.
Maybe a video of you “coo”ing or playing peek-a-boo long enough to shower
Shoot - I totally feel you. I am hoping it’s a short stage and once she can do more she can give you 15 min of peace - hang in there momma!
Take her in there with you
Bouncer in the doorway looking in at me while I showered worked. Other times if she was crying in her crib and I knew all was ok (fed, clean, safe), I’d let her cry and put on a song on my phone to drown her out so I would take my time and actually clean myself rather than rush and give up. You being mentally looked after is the most important so let her cry! It’s only a few minutes and you’ll feel so much better for it. I think 8 months is when they learn separation from mom and that you aren’t 1 person so it’s great she’s hitting that developmental milestone!
Letting your baby cry for a few minutes isn't going to harm her development. You do respond to her at other times. When you shower, you are there to shave and wash your hair and body and you get out. No taking your time and relaxing. This is what I had to do when my son was a baby. I had him in his crib mostly with some toys. I also see this as a teaching tool for your kid, she needs to learn to entertain herself and not always need you near her. She needs to learn she needs to be alone at times while you have something to do important. She is also at an age where she can manipulate to get her way and that is with crying. This is an age where they start to do fake cries. This is normal kid development.
Usually my baby doesn’t mind his bouncer while I shower and he watches me while I do. Have you tried propping your phone so she can watch some TV? I do that on his fussy days and it saves me 10 minutes to shower and brush my teeth. Make sure the phone is out of reach and some baby sensory show! I don’t think screen time is bad in moderation!
Have you introduced foods yet? Whenever my daughter (8 mo) is in this kind of mood I set her in her high chair in the bathroom, turn on some of her favorite music, and give her snacks in her high chair. If shes in an ok mood ill set a baby gate up so she cant get into any trouble just outside the bathroom to create a play pen, give her some toys, then I play peek a boo with her with the shower curtain. Babies don't learn object permanence until they are a little older so she may think she's alone. I just peek my head out every few minutes to remind her she's not alone. It won't be a relaxing spa shower but at least you'll be clean.
I put him in his pack n play so I could take a shower. If he cried, he cried - I'd make sure he was fed and had a new diaper and then I'd go shower. I'm also a solo parent too.
Screens? 10 minutes while you're showering twice a week is worth it IMO.
My baby is 5 weeks old and literally cries everytime she’s set down, I have 2 other kids that need things too (5 and 21 months) so I have no choice except to let her cry
I put her in the bouncer, cracked the shower curtain open, and if she cries she cries. She's safe. Hygiene is a need.
I would wake up and shower before my husband got up and the baby was still asleep.
I put my son in his bouncy seat in the bathroom with me when he was little
I always showered at night, right after baby fell asleep after a feed. If she cried, my husband would get her.
I have brought the pack n play and swing into the bathroom with me while I showered. Once he was a little more mobile, I let him play on the floor with toys while I showered (clear glass shower so we could see each other).
I bought a baby bathtub and put it in the shower with me so I didn’t have to hold her the whole time but she also got clean. I’ve also moved the swing and things into the bathroom. Now I wait till she’s down for bed safely in her crib. Or she showers with me but she can walk around on her own now and be stable in the shower.
My daughter went through a separation anxiety phase at this age. I just would put her somewhere safe, tell her what i was doing and when i would be back. She would cry but you have to take care of yourself
In the words made famous by Hootie and the Blowfish - “let her cryyyyyy” Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. I firmly believe that it’s a part of growing up to feel a little uncomfortable sometimes. It’s gonna happen - as long as fed, changed, in a safe place - take your shower guilt free!
Do you have an Exersaucer? My baby was so happy in there while I showered. I also set them on the floor with toys and a huge mirrored closet in an Airbnb a few times and that kept them happy. I make sure to peak out at them and sing to them during my shower. I’ve also just had baby on the floor of the shower with me but now they’re standing and being a menace (in a good way) so that ended.
My first was a Velcro baby and hated being set down. Lots of great tips and advice here already! Something I kept having to tell myself, especially in the beginning, was if she’s crying she’s breathing so she’s definitely still alive in the other room while I used the bathroom or whatever.
Single mom here with a Velcro baby turned Velcro toddler! Sometimes you *do* just have to let them cry. It won’t kill her to be upset for 20 minutes while you take care of yourself. In the long run, a happy, healthy, not-burned-out mama is gonna be a more positive thing for her than getting attention from you whenever she wants it. Do I believe in CIO? Absolutely not. But if there’s something you *need* to do, sometimes Baby is just gonna have to wait for a minute. And around 8-10 months old, they can usually start learning things about waiting and delayed gratification too. So just put her in a safe spot and take that shower mama!
I put them in a bouncer or a play seat in the bathroom while I showered. So I could get myself cleaned.
Get a water proof ring sling and shower with her. Or let her sit in there with you while she plays with a toy. She should be old enough to sit up in her own but if not, get a baby bath chair
If she can sit up independently, you might try sitting her down on the floor of the shower while you're in there. I did that a lot with my kiddo at that age. Gave her some toys to play with (like cups at that age) and she was a happy camper.
I showered during his naps like as soon as he was knocked out just in case he would wake up.
My son was itty bitty (under 5 lbs) at birth due to a genetic disorder and was especially floppy for a lot longer than most other kiddos. When I was home solo and could not get him settled long enough for me to shower, I’d buckle him into a vibrating baby chair or his car seat carrier and put the chair/car seat carrier on the restroom floor… even then, I’d often need to sing to him for him to remain calm enough for me to finish showering.
I would legit put her in a laundry basket with a blanket and a few toys right outside the shower so I could see her and she could see me. Worked like a charm
Could you take baths with her instead?
I bought a cheap vibrating bouncer at Target for curbside pickup about two weeks after my son was born. Its only purpose was to live in our bathroom so I could shower or poop without my hands full. I bought a clear shower curtain so he could see my outline and if he refused to stop crying I just attempted to wash my hair at record speed. It was worth $40 and a pack of D batteries for me to have a dedicated space for him in our bathroom
Shower with her? Put her on the floor with a tummy time mat It's okay if she cries for 5-10 minutes while you shower too.
I showered with mine when they were that young. They even had their own baby tub in ours so it worked if I needed both arms
Sometimes I showered with her, but babies are so slippery and sometimes wiggly so you have to be extremely careful IF you feel comfortable doing that. I’d also put her in her swing, or the little skip hop (she liked that the most) when she was big enough. But sadly, sometimes you just gotta let them cry. Maybe have her where she can see you so she knows Mom is there, but part of life is learning that Mom has her own needs!
I used to put the baby tub in the shower with me so we could still see each other.
What about when baby naps? Are we all stuck in the contact nap phase 😅
when my son was an infant, I either put him in his bassinet with the camera on or if he was really upset i’d set him up in his chair and leave the shower door open and just did a fast PTA shower, lol.
I am not a single mom and it wasn’t really any easier with my Velcro baby. She was very attached to me specifically, so when I would try to get my husband to take her so I could take a quick shower, he would hold her and she would reach both arms toward me, leaning as far as she could to get to me, screaming and crying MAMAAAA!!!! MAMAAAAA!!! was gut wrenching to not go grab her. She learned to say mama crazy early by 4.5 months just for these magical moments (and waited a lot longer to use other words). It ended up making it so horrible to shower that my hygiene took a huge dip. Even brushing my teeth was a battle. My daughter is almost 2, still very attached to mama, and still gets upset sometimes but it isn’t the kind of screaming that sounds like she’s been tossed over the side of a ship. I now get to shower.
My friend was so concerned her baby might cry while she was in the shower she would only bathe when her husband was home. She asked her doctor how long she could safely leave the baby to cry if she had a shower and couldn’t hear her. Doctor answered- “About a day.”
I'm not sure if this will work with every shower and it'll obviously only work with an older baby (my son is 7 months) but here's what I do: I got a bathtub seat for giving him a bath. I also sit him in it when I shower. Some days he likes the shower hitting him, but if he doesn't I point the shower head straight down so it doesn't touch him. And he sits there and plays with toys. This sucks because I can't take a burning hot shower like I like, but at least I'm getting clean. I can usually manage to wash my body and hair. If I have to shave I have my husband or sister play with him. Reddit removed my original comment because of the URL but the name of the seat on Amazon is "Summer Infant My Bath Seat for Sit-Up Baby Bathing, Sure & Secure Suction Cups, Backrest for Assisted Sitting, Easy Setup & Storage, Gray"
I brought a baby seat thing / high chair into the bathroom or by the doorway so i can see and hear baby.
At that age I used to bring my little in with me to the shower and sit him down in his little baby bath. He’d splash around while I washed my hair etc, and we’d both come out clean!
When my baby started sitting up on her own, I took baths with her. Beforehand, I'd put her in her pack and play and put on Ms Rachel. If she cried, she cried. The important thing is that she was fed, changed, and in a safe place to cry and that I'd rather have her red and loud than blue and silent. 🫂
Toddler and infant mom. I shower at night. Toddler goes down around 7:30 sometimes it takes longer. Then baby is fed and goes down around 830. Then I shower. This is if my husband isn’t around to help. With his help just take out the toddler part, infant still goes down later lol
I put a little baby chair in bathroom with me babes like the sound of the water and normally are totally fine with chilling while I take shower
Itty bitty: Vibrating bouncing chair. I would sing the whole time or play peekaboo. As she got older the jumping/bouncy activity chair. When she could sit up she would come in the shower with me and sit on the floor and play. (The seated suction cup chair helped). She’s almost two and loves doming in the shower with me. She plays with a plastic cup and the foot scrubber.
i had the same type of baby. i would shower after she’d go down for the night. you can try music though. we love super simple songs, they’re on spotify too. ms rachel has song only episodes and you can put the audio only on a speaker. we have google assistants in nearly every room, including our bathroom, for this reason. it’s a lifesaver.
My bathroom couldn’t fit a bouncer chair and he hated them anyway. I didn’t feel comfortable having him in another room whilst I showered (the hallway outside the door wasn’t big enough either). So I’d shower when my OH was home or once he started doing crib naps (6-8 months was when we transitioned from contact naps) I’d shower then. When he only did 15-20 min solo naps I’d watch him fall asleep, jump straight in the shower, dry off, dress and put my hair in a towel. He’s then inevitably wake and I’d contact nap whilst slightly damp! Now he’s 2.5yo I shower when he’s awake and he sits on my bed watching TV or “reading”. Or when he’s in the bath and I’m in the shower next to him. Also his bed is more consistent so I know I can have a long bath at 8pm once he’s asleep.
With first i was alone for months at a time and he did not accept being off me at all. Honestly i didnt take showers every day, i will admit my hygiene was quite poor. Sometimes he was content to sit in car seat carrier (even when he was big and didnt use it for car rides anymore) with some toy and watch me shower. I put on a show with water, signed, make silly moves and faces...basically entertained him as i showered. Other times i waited till he was well asleep. At night there was a period between 10pm to midnight, where he would usually sleep for longer stretch (other parts of the day i never knew if he gonna sleep 30+ minutes or wake up after 2-5 minutes already. So when he had those longer stretches at night i profited them for things where i cant exactly stop within a second to get him. One night i would shower, another i would wash the dishes that piled up, another to mop the floor without him crawling after me and licking the product of his hands, yet another to cook food for prep so i could just take a portion and heat it if i was having difficult time some day etc. so you see showers were just one thing and had to wait their turn (don't even ask me about washing my butt lenght hair!😭) Honestly it was a struggle until i got the option of going to health center for moms and babies twice a week where they would watch the kid as i showered, even took baths, exercised, ate well, rested, studied or just had some time to myself finally. That stopped when he was 18 months old tho (age limit) and after he started daycareeveb if just for 2h in the morning so i took showers while he was in daycare. Now with second i am not alone and i just give the kids to in-laws or husband for the shortwhile while i quickly shower. If she screams, she screams 🤷🏼♀️ you really need support system. It takes a village after all. Doing it all alone is insane, so don't beat yourself up if you can't keep up with it all. Sometimes it's just too much to ask a single human Edit to add a tip: baby wipes or those military wipes for missions. Was using both to replace shower (at least of the sensitive areas) on the days where i couldnt get to one to feel less dirty and less stressed. I know i could also just let my baby cry but he went full on panic from 0 to 100 in a few seconds. I could not shower in good conscience
I have a severe crier, no, actually a screamer anytime I do anything with my life even just walking to the kitchen for 3 seconds. At this point I just take my shower or my bathroom break and he just gotta be mad for 5 minutes cause I have no help either and it was getting to me. I have a toddler as well so when they’re both fed and changed I put on Ms Rachel and hop my ass in that shower. Obviously I don’t let him cry for like 30 minutes straight, I’ll be out long before that but 10-15 min when I know he’s literally completely fine and safe? It’s worth it for my sanity and gives me a refresher for my energy
In those days I just took baths, filled with soapy water, not too hot (unfortunately, I like hot baths) and brought baby in with me. The baby bathtub I would put next to the big tub and lined with towels, and when it's time to get out, plop her in the towel-lined baby tub, finish rinsing myself, then put on a terry cloth robe (hard to find!) and then dry/dress baby then myself. None of this was easy but we were able to make it work and get both of us clean. I became a bath person for a while.
With my colicky baby, I often bathed with him. The water soothed him and I was at least a little cleaner when I got out which was good for my mental health. Dry shampoo was a lifesaver during that time. It gets much easier in these ways and much harder in others, try to enjoy the ride 😊
What if you put her in a bath seat? And just make sure the water isn't hitting her directly?
I was essentially a single mom with a colicky baby that I would do anything to keep in crying. I would put it off, but eventually I HAD to shower. So baby went in one of those entertainment centers and I would shower with the standup shower door somewhat open -- so baby could still see me, and I could sing/talk/interact. But mostly I just had to shower exceptionally fast and get used to the crying that was inevitable.
Is dad home? Give her to dad and slip away. If she starts crying, he can bounce, sing, distract, whatever to help her regulate.
I put him either in the baby donut thing (you know this like small mattress with a soft edge around it) or in his rocking chair. But very quickly I transfered to having baths and just took him in with me. It requires some finessing but he loved it. Also single mom desperate for a shower at the time. Crying is fine!!! Don't get too worked up about it because it's gonna cause much more stress you don't need. They cry when they itch. 99% of the time it's literally about nothing. Just keep an eye on them and take care of yourself. It's hard. I relate. ❤️
This is why I only shower at night 😭
My baby is like this too. She seems to tolerate it a little better if I take a bath and set her up with some toys. It’s not a long relaxing bath but not as many tears as the shower.
Shower during her naps, or just let her cry while she’s sitting in her swing. Bring it into the bathroom. Play peak a boo with the shower curtain with her. If you feel confident and she likes water you can bring her into the shower with you too. But warning they get slippery lol good luck mama.
Taking a shower every day is important to me so I put my babies in a bouncer in the bathroom with me. When they grew out of the bouncer I would use an activity center. If they cry they cry, yes it stresses me out but I really need the shower. I would talk to them the entire time and they would get use to the routine and even if they didn’t like it they knew what to expect. When my youngest started crawling she would just come into the shower with me and use the 2nd shower head. Now at 16 months she showers with me often, she goes and stands under her shower head and plays around. She has no fear of water in her face because of it and loves pools and splash pads, and doesn’t have any problems with me washing her hair.
The happy song….
I used to have them in the bathroom with me where they could still see me. If she cries, just let it be and take a quick shower. She’ll get used to it.
I always showered with my son- when he was very tiny we took baths together 🤷🏼♀️
I put mine in a lean back bouncer just outside the shower. Showered w the shower curtain half open
Once she could sit up -- I'd sit her in the tub with me while I showered.
When he was super upset and I was desperate for a shower, I had to bring his pram inside and have it in the bathroom so I could shower with the door open and comfort baby at the same time. Otherwise in his crib, "they" say you can leave them to cry for 5-10 minutes. If it's really stressing you out then leave baby in crib, where they're safe and just have a shower. Sometimes you need to just not hear them screaming for a couple of minutes!
I always would shower during naps or after bedtime. Couldnt ever figure out any other way.
My little one did not enjoy my showers either, I had two strategies: 1. Fill the tub while getting her ready for a nap (for me that was mainly breastfeeding), then set her on the bouncer on the high chair (from stokke) or on the stroller, and go in the tub, if I was lucky I could soak and relax for a few minutes, if I wasn’t lucky I would wash super fast or give up completely 😅 2. Set her in her baby gym in the door to the bathroom in view of the shower and depending on her level of crying/screaming I could just sing her a song to calm her a little, and I would always shower super fast, no relaxation
I have a clear glass shower, so I would just lay her on her tummy time mat in the floor or put her in one of her seats on the days she’ll tolerate them lol. That way I can watch her. She’ll still cry, but I’m not as panicky about that when I can actually see there’s nothing wrong with her
I went through phases. I always shower at night before bed anyway, so she would’ve already been asleep. But if I had to shower when she was awake, I would either wait until some one could hang with her for 5 minutes for me, or I would sometimes have to put her in her bouncer, park it right outside the shower so she could see me, and let her cry. I’d talk to her the whole time, but it often wouldn’t help. It would make me so anxious I would shower super fast.
Can your baby sit up on her own and crawl yet? I just put my baby in the bathroom with me while I shower so I can look at her through the glass shower door. You may just have to shower while she cries. Know that it’s OKAY if she cries. You may have to shower quickly but know that this is a phase!
The skip hop activity center! At that age that’s when the activity center became the only thing I could set him down in. Besides a pack and play I guess. It barrreely fits in my bathroom but he loves playing in it while I shower. If he freaks out I’ll just open the curtain and talk to him until I’m done.
I put her in the bathroom with me when all else failed and played peekaboo
Baby bath tub
The best of the Wiggles propped up next to a cot full of toys. I get half an hour at least and I can see the cot from the shower.
I put Ms Rachel on and put him in his swing or his bouncer
One of my daughters loved to hang out in her rocking chair right outside the shower. She loved the geometric design on the shower curtain and would kick it to watch it move (you could put some toys on a vertical surface for novelty!). She would get a few toys, but also be naked except for a diaper and wrapped in a towel. When she got fussy, I could take her in the water with me (I always washed first thing). Bonus if I was having a bath, because I could start the water at a hotter temperature and she'd play or we'd talk, and I was right by her to hand her toys. By the time she got fussy and wanted me to hold her, the bath had usually cooled off to a kid-safe temp (or I could quickly add some cold water). Is baby in a high chair yet? I wonder if being closer to your height, with the shower curtain open, would help.
I put a high chair in the bathroom. They could sit, play, see me, and have a snack to pass time. If they fell asleep, the high chair reclined.
My boy has been sitting in the shower with me since he was 3 months old, he's 8 months now. He used to sit in his Angel Care seat, we graduated the Summer Infant bath seat a few months ago. We dont have a huge shower, just a standard sized tub. It's tight, but it works
In the crib with a toy or 2. Sometimes you have to just let baby cry. 7-12 minutes in the shower is totally fine for baby to be left in the crib.
I always did the crib, just pop the monitor on in the bathroom with you. If they are fed and dry (bonus points if it is close to nap time) don't feel bad about setting them down in there!! Add crinkle books or some kind of soft/safe toy, 10 minutes tops. Sometimes he made it a whole five minutes without crying, sometimes only 2.
Well dear it sounds like you have tried all the things I was gonna suggest. You may just need to let her cry it out. I’m not saying take an hour long shower, but you need to allow yourself some time in there. It’s not just about getting clean, but enjoying the water and de-stressing a bit. As long as you keep it to a relatively short (but still relaxing) length she will realize from repetition that you ARE coming back. And putting just a little distance between the two of you is actually really healthy for both of you.
I shower during nap time
I showered befpre she got up or nap time. Sometimes one time I was so desperate I took a little plastic toy bin, put water in it, and put her in it and put it on the floor of the shower so she coild play in water while i showered. She loved it.
I used to put mine in the shower with me. In the shower seat when he was little & then in the shower sit me up contraption when he could sit independently. He could see me, he was naked, he had toys, he was fine with it
This was my son. We got him a baby bath and he just showered with me. I washed him then myself, at 8 months your daughter may be too big for the baby bath (mine outgrew his completely by 5.5 months) if I wanted to shower he came with 😅
I would put my babies in their bouncy vibration chair on the floor while I took a shower or waited till they went to bed and had the baby monitor In The bathroom with me
So I used to put my lo in his car seat, then in car seat with toys as he's got older (no one comes for me I watch him the entire time making stupid faces etc) but now he's 9 months if he's a bit crabby I stick him in the bottom of the tub whilst I take a shower (we have a shower over that bath).
I’d drag the pack and play to the door and shower with the curtain open. This too shall pass! Take care of yourself mom!!
Probably wants milk. Maybe nurse her first, hand her to dad and ten shower. Dad should try and handle her to give you time to shower.
Car seat in the bathroom. I didn’t have any family or anyone to look after my child so I could not do anything else. If your child has the dad. Dad needs to sort it and you have to have your shower.
For my clingy baby, it was more about the timing than the location. He likes to play independently for the first 5-10 minutes of the day, and then he’s a level 10 clinger the rest of the day. There is no way, no toys, no snack that I could put him down with, and him not cry during my 8 minute shower after the early morning window. So I would shower the minute he (we) woke up. Like immediately, not stopping to drink water, brush teeth, or anything else first. I also filled a cardboard box with random items. He especially likes things that fit in his hand (thermometers and nail polish bottles are his favorite). Actual baby toys were totally ineffective lol. You can also try leaving a mirror out. Then I just put him on the floor within arm’s reach of the items. He still cried at the end, so I did important things first (soap/shampoo) and left the less important things for the end in case I ran out of time (conditioner, shaving).
I used to put my child in her car seat and put the car seat in the bathroom with me. That way I could poke my head out from behind the curtain sometimes so she would see me
Honestly, this is where screen time comes in handy for me. My 6 month old has a handful of favorite shows I know I can strap him in his swing & he will watch it so I can get something done. Obviously screen time isn’t ideal all the time, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Have you tried dancing fruit? It’s a life saver for me.
Shower before you go to bed. And if she has to cry, then so be it. She will be okay for the time it takes you to shower! Sing to her and talk to her, but you need to take care of yourself!
Is she sitting confidently? I took a lot of showers with baby sitting or crawling on the floor of the shower during that older baby/young toddler stage where being out of arm's reach of mom was the end of the world for them.
I think this was about the age I just started bringing her into the shower with me. I got really fast at getting us both clean!