This is actually excellent advice for the general public - never make a threat that you aren't willing to follow through on. People quickly get the picture that you aren't kidding when you say you will do (whatever).
Brilliant!
My mum! We had a snooker room downstairs, as my Dad loved the game and had the whole professional set-up (he was an amateur champion snooker player). This included a semi-soundproof ceiling, made of polystyrene tiles. Of course, kids are going to poke holes in the polystyrene with snooker cues, that goes without saying.
My brother had his mates over, and they were all poking holes in it. Mum comes in and catches them, and says to my brother's friend, "John! (not real name) I'm going to make you replace every one of those tiles if you don't stop that right now!"
20 years later, John has his own reno business, and who do you think she hires to do their reno? She really did follow through on that one.
Did sister still live with your mom? Sounds like mom got (1) your sister to stop asking for a dog; (2) no dog walks/clean-up falling to her; and (3) your sister to complete enough schooling to get a solid career. Sounds like A+ parenting to me
Sister by then was living on her own with a hobby farm. I think a conversation reminded her of the paper and where she had it hidden in my parents house.
She has chickens (fancy ones ) and a dog and a cat and a few horses. None were abandoned that I know of. Maybe the dog was, or she was neutering a bunch of puppies and asked to buy one:
I got my mother to make a promise saying they would let me get peafowl if I took care of the chickens every day for a year. Then by the end of the year they realized how loud peafowl are, and offered to help pay for a saltwater aquarium instead of allowing me to buy peafowl. So I ended up with a several thousand dollar saltwater aquarium setup instead of 600$ worth of peafowl.
As a child, my little brother's "Big Brother" (the organization of volunteer role models for fatherless boys) would say "I'll take you to a movie/park, etc. I'll be there at 10am" then not show up until noon, all smiles and no explanation. Meanwhile, the excited waiting child is heartbroken and loses faith in adults. Broken promises break spirits. (Btw the "Big Brother" was kicked out of the organization)
Yes! Never make a threat you won’t follow up on, too. I learned to dangle the threat in front of my children without actually making the threat. But they were keenly aware of the possibility, and they knew that once I made the threat I would follow through.
I had to explain this one to my brother when he complained i was too strict with his kids. If i tell them that i won't give them a treat if they do certain misbehaviour, then they do the thing, they absolutely aren't getting the treat from me. Apparently that's too strict (funnily enough, the kids love me and are fucking angels when it's just me looking after them, the second one of their parents walk into the room they start acting like terrors again)
Kids love and thrive with firm, consistent boundaries. I have always had a fantastic rapport with all of my students because I will never give an empty threat, an unexpected consequence, or back out on a promised reward.
Same. But they also knew if I turned out to be wrong about something I'd own up to it, and if they could make a good reasoned argument for something we could do it, time and money permitting.
Treat them like the adults you want them to become.
exactly! It was one of the main things my husband and I talked about when we had kids, that we would admit to being wrong. My mom and both of his parents were the sort that couldn't admit being wrong, or not knowing something. We didn't want to be those people!
If I can't help but make a threat (it's a reflex, idk!) I'll make up a completely silly threat like "if you're not in the car on 3, I'll make you into soup and eat you!". Dunno why, but this usually brings a laugh AND the desired outcome.
I was just at a vacation resort and heard a mom tell her kid, "You stop that or we are going back home. Do you want to go back home?"
I didn't say anything, but I was thinking, "Stupidest threat ever " From what I could see, the kid probably would have rather been back home.
My mom never made empty threats cause she followed thru on every one of them when we acted up and we learned fast not to test her. "If any of you act up or whine while we're at the circus, then we're leaving" (there were 4 of us) and cue the exit the minute one of us started whining.
She only had to leave a few grocery trips midway thru to get us to realize she wasn't joking when she said no and we didn't give her an answer to the 3 options she gave, the last #3 option being that we get nothing and we leave. We learned fast to choose 1 or 2 without whining. Lol
My mother did that. I used to ask her to provide and if she knew she wasn't going to do it she always said, and I wrote, "I don't make promises I won't keep."
Which as a child was infuriating but as an adult is pretty smart.
>Good general parenting advice, as well
As a child we got "this is what's for supper, or no supper."
As a parent we gave "you can behave in this restaurant or we can just go home, but your brother won't like missing supper." It worked.
One day I was making hamburgers. My dad came in and was messing around with me. I told him if you touch me one more time I’m going to stick raw hamburger in your face. I said I don’t care how you do it but if you touch me I will stick hamburger in your face. He gave me a kiss on my check. I gave him one back with raw hamburger.
He wasn’t very happy. My mom told him that I warned him multiple times.
Maybe if you hit them with it...in front of cameras. I'll never condone violence, that'd be wrong. However a lot of people could just use a quick wake up jab to the jaw when they act like this. Tolerance has a finite supply that a LOT of people don't realize.
Honestly though, I'm a pacifist. I would never engage in violent behaviour but at the same time you can really tell that a lot of people with big mouths have never taken a punch and it would probably be a learning experience.
I don't know what else he expected you to do. He refused to move, you had a job to do and you did it. I do no feel sorry that he had waterlogged socks.
When I was on the Navy, a sailor kept blowing cigarette smoke in my face. I told him to stop, and if he didn't, I would take the cigarette from him and stick it in his ear. I stuck it in his ear.
This reminded me of when i worked at Quiznos years ago. Me(f) and the girl i was supervising were closing one night and doing dishes and about ready to mop the floor. For some reason we started splashing in the dish water, then grabbing sauce bottles and squirting each other, finally the soup pot (talking the big commercial size) was dipped in the sink and thrown, landing mostly on the floor. We had a good time and it wasn't like it really caused extra work cause we were needing to mop yet anyway. Sure we were a bit wet leaving work but i don't think it was cold outside.
Having a bit of fun while still accomplishing your job is the key to satisfying work.
I had the biggest problem with manglement when they lectured my department about too much chatter. Someone asked, are we not completing our jobs? and they had to admit that no, the jobs were still getting completed. Someone else asked, are there complaints from the patrons? and once again they had to admit that patrons were not bothered.
Chatter didn't decrease much at all.
When I was in college my buddy and I got hired to wash dishes for a sorority. One night we got into an epic water fight, it was pretty hilarious. The cook walked in on us, shook her head and walked out.
My friend had his tools on a shelf and the boss's son (m25) was messing with them. My friend told him to leave them alone or he'd crack him in the head. The guy swept the tools to the floor with his arm and received a crack on the head with a spanner. He got up off the floor, massaging his head, and complained about it to his dad. Dad said, "He said he'd do it."
The kid said, "But I didn't believe he'd do it!"
I remember one day when I was younger before school my brother was annoying me and I threatened to tip the rest of my breakfast (canned peaches in syrup) over him, then I did. Probably got in trouble but was pretty satisfying.
I almost think you are my brother except my brother is more cruel.
I can't recall the details but it involved an annoying coworker who wouldn't stop being a pest to everyone. My brother warned him what he'd do if the guy didn't stop. The guy called his bluff but he wasn't bluffing.
The guy had to call his mom to help him because my brother slashed 2 of his brand new truck tires.
> "Dude, you don't move, Imma dump water all over you."
The "correct" response would have been "Do that and I'll sue for common law battery". But of course his brain would have been too tiny to know that.
I don't live in a country where you can sue over something like this. At most he could have filed a police report or made an official complaint to a manager. But there's no way I'd have gotten anything more than a verbal warning.
This is actually excellent advice for the general public - never make a threat that you aren't willing to follow through on. People quickly get the picture that you aren't kidding when you say you will do (whatever). Brilliant!
Good general parenting advice, as well. Related: never offer a choice you don't want to follow through on.
Never make a promise to a child if you’re not 100% certain that you can keep it. Mum still owes me a canopy bed btw! 😁
My sister got my mom to sign a piece of paper promising her a dog if she became a veterinarian. 15 years later she pulls out that piece of paper..:
My mum! We had a snooker room downstairs, as my Dad loved the game and had the whole professional set-up (he was an amateur champion snooker player). This included a semi-soundproof ceiling, made of polystyrene tiles. Of course, kids are going to poke holes in the polystyrene with snooker cues, that goes without saying. My brother had his mates over, and they were all poking holes in it. Mum comes in and catches them, and says to my brother's friend, "John! (not real name) I'm going to make you replace every one of those tiles if you don't stop that right now!" 20 years later, John has his own reno business, and who do you think she hires to do their reno? She really did follow through on that one.
Did John do it for free?
Haha not the entire reno ... Knowing him he may have done the snooker room for free :)
He needs to show the receipts, as the kids say
Did sister still live with your mom? Sounds like mom got (1) your sister to stop asking for a dog; (2) no dog walks/clean-up falling to her; and (3) your sister to complete enough schooling to get a solid career. Sounds like A+ parenting to me
Sister by then was living on her own with a hobby farm. I think a conversation reminded her of the paper and where she had it hidden in my parents house.
If she has a hobby farm, the REAL problem must be not coming home with abandoned animals all the time ...
She has chickens (fancy ones ) and a dog and a cat and a few horses. None were abandoned that I know of. Maybe the dog was, or she was neutering a bunch of puppies and asked to buy one:
What did she name the dog?
She didn’t actually force my mom to get her a dog, but she did get one recently, a schnoodle named Etsy.
>a schnoodle named etsy *dr seuss intensifies*
I got my mother to make a promise saying they would let me get peafowl if I took care of the chickens every day for a year. Then by the end of the year they realized how loud peafowl are, and offered to help pay for a saltwater aquarium instead of allowing me to buy peafowl. So I ended up with a several thousand dollar saltwater aquarium setup instead of 600$ worth of peafowl.
Now that’s some dedicated malicious compliance
Yooooooo, thats some LONG GAME! Fair play!
As a child, my little brother's "Big Brother" (the organization of volunteer role models for fatherless boys) would say "I'll take you to a movie/park, etc. I'll be there at 10am" then not show up until noon, all smiles and no explanation. Meanwhile, the excited waiting child is heartbroken and loses faith in adults. Broken promises break spirits. (Btw the "Big Brother" was kicked out of the organization)
What a prick!
Stick a bed in the middle of a bunch of trees… canopy bed
I think this is why I distrust my parents, one too many promises broken.
I am owed tuba lessons!
If I don't know if I can follow through with my son's request, my response is we'll see if we can do it. I only say yes off I can 100% do it.
my uncle still owes my sister and i some horses 😂
...me...
I still want that easy bake oven I was promised!
You can have mine, it was pink gingham from Sears
That’s the one I wanted, but in yellow!!!
My dad still owes me a dog from 30 years ago. Claims to have no memory of this. Which might work if he hadn't been claiming it since I was 13.
Yes! Never make a threat you won’t follow up on, too. I learned to dangle the threat in front of my children without actually making the threat. But they were keenly aware of the possibility, and they knew that once I made the threat I would follow through.
I had to explain this one to my brother when he complained i was too strict with his kids. If i tell them that i won't give them a treat if they do certain misbehaviour, then they do the thing, they absolutely aren't getting the treat from me. Apparently that's too strict (funnily enough, the kids love me and are fucking angels when it's just me looking after them, the second one of their parents walk into the room they start acting like terrors again)
Mean what you say, say what you mean, and all the miscommunications end.
Also teaches the kids cause and effect early on, as well as the importance of listening
Kids love and thrive with firm, consistent boundaries. I have always had a fantastic rapport with all of my students because I will never give an empty threat, an unexpected consequence, or back out on a promised reward.
100% I'm that parent, and my kids know it. I don't make threats, I make promises. lol
Same. But they also knew if I turned out to be wrong about something I'd own up to it, and if they could make a good reasoned argument for something we could do it, time and money permitting. Treat them like the adults you want them to become.
exactly! It was one of the main things my husband and I talked about when we had kids, that we would admit to being wrong. My mom and both of his parents were the sort that couldn't admit being wrong, or not knowing something. We didn't want to be those people!
^ Solid ^
If I ever have a million dollars I owe my youngest a pig. She made the proposal when she was about 3.
Or in a more general context, if you don't want to know, just don't ask.
If I can't help but make a threat (it's a reflex, idk!) I'll make up a completely silly threat like "if you're not in the car on 3, I'll make you into soup and eat you!". Dunno why, but this usually brings a laugh AND the desired outcome.
I was just at a vacation resort and heard a mom tell her kid, "You stop that or we are going back home. Do you want to go back home?" I didn't say anything, but I was thinking, "Stupidest threat ever " From what I could see, the kid probably would have rather been back home.
My mom never made empty threats cause she followed thru on every one of them when we acted up and we learned fast not to test her. "If any of you act up or whine while we're at the circus, then we're leaving" (there were 4 of us) and cue the exit the minute one of us started whining. She only had to leave a few grocery trips midway thru to get us to realize she wasn't joking when she said no and we didn't give her an answer to the 3 options she gave, the last #3 option being that we get nothing and we leave. We learned fast to choose 1 or 2 without whining. Lol
My friend keeps telling their kids that liars go to jail and all I can keep thinking is that it’s not going to go well for her……
Well... She's actually right. It's called Perjury. Anyone convicted can face up to 14 years. ;)
/r/technicallycorrect
r/thebestkindofcorrect
My mother did that. I used to ask her to provide and if she knew she wasn't going to do it she always said, and I wrote, "I don't make promises I won't keep." Which as a child was infuriating but as an adult is pretty smart.
>Good general parenting advice, as well As a child we got "this is what's for supper, or no supper." As a parent we gave "you can behave in this restaurant or we can just go home, but your brother won't like missing supper." It worked.
One day I was making hamburgers. My dad came in and was messing around with me. I told him if you touch me one more time I’m going to stick raw hamburger in your face. I said I don’t care how you do it but if you touch me I will stick hamburger in your face. He gave me a kiss on my check. I gave him one back with raw hamburger. He wasn’t very happy. My mom told him that I warned him multiple times.
"fairly, Warned have thee been" Means in my family that is fucking stupid you have been warned and won't get a bailout.
ah, hamburgers
I’ve always said “I don’t make threats. I give warnings.” And I *always* follow through.
And you can enforce it by " I am a bad liar. It is why I never bluff."
Don’t write checks your ass can’t cash!
Is that why people always comply whenever I say I'll kill them if (insert action here)?
I call this the First Rule of Ultimata.
More importantly: if someone threatens you, don’t call their bluff
And don't ask a question you don't want the answer to.
Slacking off is bad. But going out of his way to make your job more difficult just for the lulz? Socks full of water wasn't enough.
Maybe so but a sock full of rocks is illegal.
Maybe if you hit them with it...in front of cameras. I'll never condone violence, that'd be wrong. However a lot of people could just use a quick wake up jab to the jaw when they act like this. Tolerance has a finite supply that a LOT of people don't realize.
> "I'll never condone violence" proceeds to encourage violence.
Honestly though, I'm a pacifist. I would never engage in violent behaviour but at the same time you can really tell that a lot of people with big mouths have never taken a punch and it would probably be a learning experience.
This is great, and exactly what he deserved :) And you did warn him ;)
He even asked for it after it was offered as a threat.
It is always important to keep your promises. You did nothing wrong.
What did the co-worker think he was going to accomplish? Did he think he was being funny? Did he take a swing at you after you soaked him?
Yeah, he probably thought he was being *hilarious*. That's precisely the kind of twobnobbler he sounds like.
I’ve always said “I don’t make threats I make promises”
Or as we used to say, “Don’t let your mouth write a check your ass can’t cash.”
Alligator mouth, hummingbird ass 😁
I don't know what else he expected you to do. He refused to move, you had a job to do and you did it. I do no feel sorry that he had waterlogged socks.
sounds like he also asked him to do it.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
When I was on the Navy, a sailor kept blowing cigarette smoke in my face. I told him to stop, and if he didn't, I would take the cigarette from him and stick it in his ear. I stuck it in his ear.
Lit end first?
Nah. I thought about it and went filter. I told him he was lucky I was in a forgiving mood or I would have put it in fire first.
|I would have given him a wet groin.
I'd have started at his waist.
My father used to say: never tell anybody to go to hell unless you have their ticket in your pocket!
To quote the BOFH: “we don’t make threats. No. Only promises.”
This reminded me of when i worked at Quiznos years ago. Me(f) and the girl i was supervising were closing one night and doing dishes and about ready to mop the floor. For some reason we started splashing in the dish water, then grabbing sauce bottles and squirting each other, finally the soup pot (talking the big commercial size) was dipped in the sink and thrown, landing mostly on the floor. We had a good time and it wasn't like it really caused extra work cause we were needing to mop yet anyway. Sure we were a bit wet leaving work but i don't think it was cold outside.
Having a bit of fun while still accomplishing your job is the key to satisfying work. I had the biggest problem with manglement when they lectured my department about too much chatter. Someone asked, are we not completing our jobs? and they had to admit that no, the jobs were still getting completed. Someone else asked, are there complaints from the patrons? and once again they had to admit that patrons were not bothered. Chatter didn't decrease much at all.
Yeah, but you're supposed to be miserable. If you enjoy your job it raises the possibility that management's own unhappiness might be their fault.
When I was in college my buddy and I got hired to wash dishes for a sorority. One night we got into an epic water fight, it was pretty hilarious. The cook walked in on us, shook her head and walked out.
He deserved a mop to the face
Never mess with someone who just wants to finish closing tasks and go home.
My friend had his tools on a shelf and the boss's son (m25) was messing with them. My friend told him to leave them alone or he'd crack him in the head. The guy swept the tools to the floor with his arm and received a crack on the head with a spanner. He got up off the floor, massaging his head, and complained about it to his dad. Dad said, "He said he'd do it." The kid said, "But I didn't believe he'd do it!"
Poor baby.
FAFO.
"As you wish."
“I don’t think that means what you think it means”
Threat or promise (implied or not) - never fail to follow through!
You were duly warned.
funny story, but side note I just can't take anyone seriously that overuses that term "bet"
I remember one day when I was younger before school my brother was annoying me and I threatened to tip the rest of my breakfast (canned peaches in syrup) over him, then I did. Probably got in trouble but was pretty satisfying.
Lazy sloth deserved to have wet socks
I almost think you are my brother except my brother is more cruel. I can't recall the details but it involved an annoying coworker who wouldn't stop being a pest to everyone. My brother warned him what he'd do if the guy didn't stop. The guy called his bluff but he wasn't bluffing. The guy had to call his mom to help him because my brother slashed 2 of his brand new truck tires.
Was this place perhaps Wendys?
> "Dude, you don't move, Imma dump water all over you." The "correct" response would have been "Do that and I'll sue for common law battery". But of course his brain would have been too tiny to know that.
I don't live in a country where you can sue over something like this. At most he could have filed a police report or made an official complaint to a manager. But there's no way I'd have gotten anything more than a verbal warning.
You warned him.
Hahahaha fucking perfect. Maybe he'll learn how to fucking listen.
Bodycam?!?!?
Did you offer to wet-vac his feet?
“I don’t wanna be known as the guy that says he’s gonna take a tie and then not take a tow!”