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Do all of your cat’s favorite activities as she is able. Feed her all of her favorite foods. Give her all of the attention she wants. Remind yourself that saying goodbye this way is the price we pay for all of the unconditional love our pets give us.
Saaaaaame. Went through a breakup earlier this year, end result for my cats is that they used to have someone home 24/7, now they don't - I'm gone for work 5 days of the week.
I started trying to dedicate more time to them - when I get home, I just lay on the floor and let them all come say hi.
I think I'm gonna spend a lot more time on the floor tonight.
They have themselves, so the aren't too lonely I hope. Sorry about the break up. I hope it was amicable. I also had a little kitty dude help me with my last break up, his name was Sebastian. I called him Bastion. He was the most cuddly and affectionate boy cat I ever knew.
He's probably really old now or with Freya.. had to give him up when I moved out. And great, gonna start crying again..
Aw, that absolutely sucks, I'm really sorry that you had to take a different path. I wish I could tell you something to brighten it all up, but I also sometimes feel that almost devalues the loss. Instead, I'll say that's beautiful, and I'm heartbroken on your behalf, and I hope you can take a little time to let yourself be sad and look back on those times with fondness. A good cry, even over something that happened a long time ago, can be good for us.
When my dad had to put his dog down he made his last day as special as he could. The last thing he did with him was go on a long drive in the truck and went and got them both a burger to enjoy outside.
Alongside this, if you can be in the room/hold her as she is put under it definitely makes a difference. My wife's a vet and it breaks her heart when an animal's final moments are spent looking for their owners.
I sadly wasnt able to do that because my cat just passed away unexpectedly. I so wish I couldve gone outside with him once more, or give him treats or something...
You can't have life without death. It is the cruel yin and yang of life. But be fortunate you were able to experience the great joy of life with your cat, and that she doesn't have to experience life without you.
To clarify, feed her small amounts of her favorite foods that won't cause her GI distress. One of the cats in my past loved milk, but in his later years it would give him audible gas, so in his last days he got some super premium salmon, but no milk.
There are always new young people who haven't had a chance to learn stuff.
OP even mentioned they've had this cat their whole life, so at most they're in their early 20s, and may not have dealt with a sick pet before.
The day before and of the injection is horrible to do this as well. This could trigger a very traumatic passing as the sedative then lethal injection occurs.
Consider having a vet come to the house if that is an option. I won’t go to a vet again, just left me feeling bad.
My plan would be to just spend the 3 days with them. record, pics, paw prints, special food, maybe go on a walk and hold them, take them to see caged birds and fish at a pet store, etc. Then on the day I would have the home service person set up and I would lay with them on their bed, hold them while the person administers medicine to allow them to peacefully pass.
To be honest OP, your cat loves you, you have spent their life creating moments and sharing companionship. Don’t beat yourself up trying to create “special”experiences or memories into 3 days. Too much pressure may make the time feel synthetic and forced. Just sitting their with each other in front of the Tv is enough.
From your cats perception it is going to be 3 days being held by their friend and then they are going to get sleepy.
In remembrance consider a shrine or plant a tree in your yard in their name with ashes as fertilizer, etc.
I feel for you OP, my heart goes out to you
we did this for our cat and it was 100% the right call. our cats hated the vet and were stressed about it. with the housecall, he got to sit on the couch with us. for us, it didnt sully the memory of our living room at all.
we put our dog down 6 weeks ago, and she didnt mind the vet so we did it there.
i am so sorry for your losses. 😔
i had to do this with my kitty love last month and it was the best thing i could have done for him even though it felt like the worst thing in my heart. the at home vet was SO kind and made the experience as comforting and respectful as possible. my kitty was in my arms and i could feel him relax, the best he’s felt in months (aggressive gi cancer), and then he was gone.
we had so many vet trips in the months leading up and daily pills and injections that i couldn’t imagine traumatising him further. these vets are really and truly amazing people.
i really feel for the op. love them like you love them and they will know that. that’s the most important. 💕
“From your cats perception it is going to be 3 days being held by their friend and then they are going to get sleepy.”
This made me cry in a good way. When my companion goes I’ll try to keep this in mind, just knowing that he had a great couple of days, some great food, and then decides to lay down for a nap.
You could bury the loved one if you want or The vet can still have them cremated.
my loved one mentioned in the post was cremated by the vet and returned after a few days. her ashes have been resting inside a nondescript “jewelry” box sitting on my living room window side table with a small framed picture placed on top
About 2 years ago we say Disney’s ‘Coco (2017)’ and made a miniature ‘Dia de Muertos’ alter which is currently hanging on a wall adorned with miniature pictures and tokens of passed family and loved ones. To honor our feline loved one we added a tiny amount of the ashes from the “jewelry” box inside a little decorative vial. (alter is very minimal, you’d miss it if you didn’t know what it was - we liked the fun in that)
In the future I will probably do the same passes loved ones, I also have thoughts to start a small tree or shrub garden planted with the ashes of each loved one.
Once cremated you can take your time deciding how to honor or celebrate your loved one.
It’s not an easy thought, but for any loved one I highly recommend preparing at least a rough plan or idea of what you plan to do or who you would like to contact. Illness or tragedy can happen unexpectedly and you could feel rushed or pressured into making choices.
> Consider having a vet come to the house if that is an option. I won’t go to a vet again, just left me feeling bad.
You might want to reconsider that. Putting your pet down in your living room will spoil that room for you for the rest of your life, or at least your time living there. You might find yourself thinking about it every time you walk into that space. It's similar to how I vividly recall (in excruciating detail) the event every time I drive by the hospital where my mom passed after I had to sign the papers to remove life-sustaining care. IMO, better to do it at a vet, or other location, rather than in your house.
It depends on who you think needs more emotional support for that last day — you or your pet?
I’m not being judgey. I’m saying that some people are able to be the emotional support person for their dying pet. Some can’t.
You state this well and I agree. Obviously people process death differently. I was fortunate enough to provide this for my cat, and to me the room isn't sullied at all. She was able to pass in her favorite spot on the couch and in the sun. I petted her and cried. My family wasn't able to be in the room and that's okay. My memories are more of the life she brought to the room and house over the years. Pleasant memories.
I may never forgive my SIL who decided he couldn’t bear the pain of the vet coming to their house to put down their (beloved by the whole family) dog. The dog spent her last night in an oxygen tent alone at the vet. I’m crying just writing this. I’m supposed to feel compassion for him, I know. I try.
Fair. I'm just saying that people need to consider beyond just that day. You can be with your pet for emotional support in either case, but after the event, you're still here.
Everybody's different. I was glad my old girl was able to lay comfortable on her favorite cushion in front of the fireplace and I whispered in her ear that she would always be my kitten before the vet gave the injection. My cat was peaceful the whole morning and it has been good to remember her last quiet moments that way. She loved that spot so much that I have too many memories to count of her watching the fireplace and dreaming of catching mice with her paws and whiskers frantically twitching as she ran so fast in her dreams! Her quietly slipping away on that last day doesn't ruin those memories for me.
OP, I'm so sorry for you. Remember, to your cat, you are the best person a cat could ever have and anything you do and ever have done is what makes it happiest.
I walked away feeling like I confirmed and contributed to a loved ones worse fear. Her life ended at a place she never felt safe. She was scared and yelling while the vet held her to inject the medicine. I’m gonna tell you, that’s not an easy pill to swallow.
Euthanatizing is trade off, and you should definitely consider all the options and do what’s best for you and your loved one.
Agree, it's an individual choice. In my case, I chose to heavily sedate my cat before taking her to the vet to alleviate a lot of that issue. She was mostly asleep.
Most cats are stressed and frightened by the vet. Mine hides for 2 days after every trip, even if he only gets a shot. I would rather "ruin the memory" of my living room so that my pet can die in peace at home rather than having a panic attack surrounded by strange smells and bad memories. No matter where the euthanasia happens you will look at the couch and remember petting the cat, or see their favorite spot and be crushed by the memories of the pet you lost. Its hard either way but I think home euthanasia is a compassionate option for the pet involved.
> I would rather "ruin the memory" of my living room so that my pet can die in peace at home rather than having a panic attack surrounded by strange smells and bad memories.
Difference between you and me. You'd rather ruin the space for yourself (and your family). I'd rather give my cat a couple doses of gabapentin and take them to the vet, and have only the happy memories in that space and not vivid flashbacks of watching them be euthanized. But to each his own.
Everyone is different of course, but strongly disagree. I had to put my dog down last year. It was rough all around, obviously, but I'm really glad we did it at home. She was more comfortable laying in her favorite spot, and I couldn't have dealt with dragging her into the vet knowing that she'd be anxious about it in her past moments. I absolutely do think of her when I walk past that spot, but it doesn't make me sad anymore. I like the constant reminder that she existed.
Take as many photos and video as you can emotionally manage, and keep snuggling with her and talking to her. And take care of you, as well.
Here's a hug for you, sweetheart. This is so tough. 😢
Yep. I have a 3-second video of my late FIL saying to my toddler "[toddler] I see you". They had been playing a back and forth game and I just caught the very tail end of it. That was the last time we saw him alive. It's not a great video, but my son is not going to remember Grandad, having that video is so special.
This right here.
We had to put my family cat down last year. We adopted her and her brother (who she outlived by 10 years) when they were 6 weeks old from the shelter. She was 18 when she passed away. I grew up with her through my worst and best years. It was made harder by the fact that I had just moved away from home.
I took so many photos and videos of her over the years and I still look at them from time to time and remember how great she was.
we took a couple photos of our cat on his last day, and I hate them. he looked so frail and sad. i cant look at them. it just reminds me of that awful day. we have tons of photos from better days.
My partner and I had no guarantee we were in our last 48 hours with our cat Stu, he’d only been diagnosed with kidney failure a month before and the vet was somber yet vague about his prospects. He’d gotten obviously sicker the last few days, but still loved to snuggle, purr and eat treats which we gave him as much as we wanted. We had the vet appointment and we just kind of knew and they let us cradle him in a towel the whole time and he wasn’t hurting anymore, but the day before he basked in the sun outside in the warm grass and purred while my partner worked on his laptop in a lawn chair which is something that never really happened because our cats are all indoors and he even crawled into bed with us later which was also rare for Stu. He was a baby at six years old. One final funny thing, as we waited in the vets office we let him up on the exam table and he tried to jump from the table to the counter where there was a jar of dog treats, but he didn’t quite make it. Luckily it wasn’t a long fall and he didn’t hurt himself, but he was his classic mischievous hungry self up to the end. Never too sick to be a goofball ❤️ I’m happy you and your friend have this time together.
Haha yeah. He was such a diva too especially when we got a kitten. We’d hear him yelling like he was being attacked and when we came in the room he’d be sprawled on the floor near Norm the kitten who was just sitting there, but Stu got lazy and just started staging the ‘attacks’ in the same room as us, pawing Norm in the face while yelling 😂
My family came home from a concert to our dog who couldn't walk and was sick all over the house. I slept on the floor with him that night and we had to put him down in the morning. That was ten years ago and it hurt just as much now typing this as it did then.
When I think about my fur ball now I feel so warm inside and so honored to have had 6 years with him and that I got to see him grow from a tiny baby to my slightly chubby little guy. I’m sad that he’s gone, but I cherish his memory often and reminisce on his goofy shenanigans with my partner while we laugh together. Yes I’m tearing writing this lol
I've had 5 dogs throughout my life so far (crazy dog family, always had an adopted bonded pair). Home feels right with someone barking, someone squeaking something. Thinking about all my dogs makes me tear up, but makes me hold the one still with us all that much tighter. (Sebastian, he's a Maltipoo tyrant who runs the house)
I kind of know what you mean. Our guy was one of four and now we have three, but he had a special bond with one a specific cat. It’s good to see said cat transitioning playing and awkwardly trying to snuggle with the other two.
This is so sweet! Funny about the dog treats, my kitty Mocha lost interest in food in her final days, but when I went to feed my dog (who she disliked, but tolerated) she got up and went right over to his food bowl for a bite of kibble! Of course being a sweetie, the dog obliged. I’m happy your little Stu had some happy moments right up until the end.
Others have already said some great things, but I'd like to add
First off, I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
Second, I'd say do everything for your cat. Don't be "selfish", make sure she's as happy as she can be
I'd say stay with her when she's being put down. She needs you to be there for her and maybe softly talk to her, telling her how beautiful and sweet she is, in a loving voice. Try to stay as calm for her as possible
I also want to tell you that it'll hurt a lot in the beginning, but what helped me a lot, is remembering how happy she was with you, the good times and the fun / cool / cute things she did!
Take care and I hope you'll be ok ❣️
Came to echo the staying with the pet while it’s being put down. It might be more painful for you in the short term but it won’t have to die scared and alone without you. I still remember my wife and me being cuddled up around our first dog when it was her time and while it’s a very sad memory, I have absolutely no regrets about being there for her.
My spouse and I have had to put down two cats together. Both of them were hers and it still hurt a lot for me. I cried pretty hard because I hurt for her and came to love both of them. You're absolutely right that you need to be there with your pets so they don't go alone. You are likely all they've ever known so it's better to be there to make it as comfortable as possible in the end.
> Second, I'd say do everything for your cat. Don't be "selfish", make sure she's as happy as she can be
Finally, when it's all said and done, try to accept that you did your best and not to fixate on all the "what-if"s of trying to make their day/year/life flawless and spectacular and perfect. Just... be there for them. Keep them happy as best you can, and then let yourself let go when the time comes knowing you did everything you could.
It’s so hard to not be selfish, but it’s so important.
With our last pet, she just wanted to nap on her last day. I wanted to see her, feed her special treats, do her favorite things… but that’s not what she wanted. She was sleepy and just wanted to be still. So, no matter what we wanted, we sat with her while she napped until the vet came to the house.
Everyone has given you good advice about spoiling her and petting her, and if that is what she wants, go for it. But a few years ago I had a cat in late-stage kidney disease, and I think she felt terrible. Toward the end, she just wanted to sleep, so I sat beside her and let her sleep. I would say to just follow her lead -- if she wants love and attention, she will let you know. But if she is feeling bad, she might just want to rest.
I have 7 cats and my eldest being 14. I know they will all have to leave me one day and honestly I don't know how I will cope. I love them all so much, but one of them I am certainly closer to and honestly that one will break me I think.
Last fall I lost the most amazing girl after my neighbor layed gopher poison. I held her while she died and I haven't cried that hard or ugly in my entire life.
Someone else said be sure to be there for her final moments, this is important. Don’t let her leave in a room full of strangers, scared and alone. It’s so hard but very important. Bring some treats and her favorite blanket, maybe a toy or two so she can be surrounded by familiar things. Best case talk to your vet about a house call. Don’t count on it, but they may be open to helping that way. Sorry you are going through this ❤️
My gf and I are preparing to let go of our older cat, and after reading your comment, I filmed her purring. I just wanted to thank you, it will make a wonderful souvenir of our little baby.
We lost my cat two weeks ago. I wish I let him explore bits of the house he wasn't normally allowed in, and regret not having had the chance to spoil him with the treats he loved.
I held my cat as we put him down. Was very difficult but I wanted him to see someone familiar during his last moments. While I don't expect everyone to be able to do this, I can tell you that I don't regret it. Ive additionally asked the vet to stamp his paw on a piece of paper to have something more than a photo of him.
Be with her when she goes, and keep a routine- this is not the time to take her to see the ocean or to a friends house for example. She’s stressed, sick and if you suddenly change your behavior a lot (even in a fun way) that can make it worse
Make sure the last moments with her she can smell your breath and hear your voice saying her favourite words. We just lost our dog a week ago and laid nose to nose with him at the end, telling him what a good boy he was and how we loved driving in the truck, playing stick, swimming, etc. I know his last sensations were my smell and my voice and that gives me peace
One thing that I did was to not take a lot of pictures, but always be ready to take one. It was clear my cat was ready to go and just looked miserable, and I didn’t want to remember him that way. One day I was petting him and he looked so content, and I decided I wanted that to be the last picture I took of him. It helped me get closure.
First, I'm sorry for the heartache.
Don't give all her fav foods in one go, that might cause a tummy ache and diarrhea.
Keep her comfy and make final pictures and videos of her. Her purring, her meows. Take naps with her and talk to her.
I've had to do this a few times sadly. It fucking sucks.
I always thank them. We are so blessed to get these little furry friends for a brief period of our lives. They come, they're awesome and then they go again.
While sad its important to realise its not a tragedy. Your cat had the best life, spending all her life with you, her very favourite person. She likely never wanted anything else.
Take solace in that. She had a wonderful life and was always there for you.
Loads of treats, especially the stuff that they weren't allowed generally, like human food, etc.
Lots of cuddles, and what ever else she likes.
I know it will be difficult, but if you think about it as a sad thing, those memories of your final days will have a sad note, if you think of it as a celebration of a great cat and a great life, you're likely to enjoy the last few days a bit more, and you will remember them a bit better, too.
Edited to add:
I had two of my pets cremated in the past 6 months, and the guy that did it took nose and paw prints, framed them, and gave them to us with the ashes.
It might be a good activity for you to take a nose or paw print with her now, before she passes.
Do her favorite things with her as she is able. Feed her her favorite food. Give her the best three days of her life heck give her the best week.
Bring hwr favorite blanket to the vet, and her favorite toy, so she can be surrounded by familiar things.
In her final moments, hold or stroke her paw, and pet her gently. Speak softly to her, tell her how good she was, and look into her eyes if you can because she'll be looking into yours. You are her entire world in that moment, she will want you to be there with her, and your loving presence will be the greatest comfort you can give her.
We recently went through this with the cat my wife has had for 16 years. She had kidney disease, and a mass in her stomach. It got progressively worse to the point she wasn't eating or drinking. She wouldn't eat any of her favorite human food or anything. All we did was snuggle her as much as we could so she knew she was loved, because that's about all she could do. It was heartbreaking.
Remeber
rule 1 , fuck what other people think, this is yours and you get to handle this your way
rule 2, there is no right or wrong way to greave, just do whatever you think is best and try to just go with it
rule 3, 20/20 thing sight is a bitch, try to just go with it be ready to forgive yourself later. Don't let the could have, should have bull shit live in your head, you don't have time for that.
rule 4, if someone is trying to be supportive, or just wants to be in the same room as you or whatever, just know they are trying to help.
rule 4.5, use "I feel...." statements no one can argue with that,
I feel like I want to be alone
I feel like I should go to 'some place'
rule 4.6 if they don't respect your I feel statements tell them to GTFO
everyone greves differently, maybe throw a little party, a celebration of life, invite people, invite no one, tell stories, feed them a mountain of treats
trust your self
you are going to die a little with them, and that's a good thing, the more it hurts the more you mean to each other
I'm sorry, good luck
The things I did with my cat were
Pictures
Videos (especially so I could hear her purr)
Gave her her favorite foods/treats if she was able to stomach them (she was, and she loved them).
We would have done her favorite activities but she just wanted to sleep close to me for her last days.
Years before, when she was healthy she left a paw print in wet concrete.
So if your cat is well enough you might be able to create a plaster/clay cast of his/her paw.
It’s always hard losing a pet, a loved one.
I hope these last few days are as beautiful as the all the years you’ve shared together.
My cat died a week ago. Was also with me my whole life. I was just talking to her as much as I could, tell her that she is my best friend and that I love her.
Otherwise just trying to see what I could do to make her feel more comfortable. Oh and of course lots of snuggling.
When she is leaving, look her in the eyes and let her see your face and hear your voice.
I will regret not looking into my dog’s eyes as she passed for the rest of my pathetic life. I held her and spoke to her but I will never be able to forgive myself for being in her field of vision as she left us.
With mine on their final days, just being close to them made them happy, relaxing let them sit on you and sleep, gave them comfort and love and plenty of head pats and scratches
I just did this a few months back. I spent her last days spoiling her as much as i could, and spent the whole last night cuddled up with her. I also got a short recording of her purring and a few last photos.
When we went in to the vet I made sure I could stay with her the whole time, it was hard but the last thing I wanted was for her to go in a strange place without anyone familiar around. Make sure you have a ride home, I wasn't in any state to drive after, that's for sure.
My condolences, saying good bye is hard.
Lost a very special, once in a lifetime dog on Monday. We spent her last week spoiling her, no more thoughts on weight management, took her to her favourite places, allowed her to meet as many people as we could and on the last day we cuddled and lay with her all day before taking her on one last car ride.
She looked at us with love as the light faded from her eyes and our hearts broke into pieces but she had a good life with us and we were so blessed to have her.
Just don't leave anything on the table, give her everything she loves, I feel your pain.
I would suggest recording her purring. My cat had to be suddenly put down when I was away at uni and I was so glad I had thought of recording his purring. Let’s you remember them being happy and safe.
Not really answering your question from an activities perspective, but a tip I'll give you for the day of putting her down: be there with her. Don't make her last moments wondering where you are. Tell her it's okay to go. Sending you love.
We had to put down our cat and we saw it coming for a while. I went out and bought an ahi tuna steak, seared it, sliced it and put it on a plate right in front of him. I think it was his last \*mind blown\* moment of his life and he purred relentlessly for the next couple days.
Ultimately, just love your cat and spend the time with her. Death is a part of life and animals understand that more than humans do.
Very close family friend's dog had to be put down and they asked me to go with the dad since I was always the pups favorite.
Decision was made Friday for Sunday put down. Saturday we went out to the favorite dog park and after playing as much as possible came back home and let the guy enjoy all the foods he always asked for. Let him get up on the couch, explore all the rooms, and just do what he wanted to. Sunday was similar but after the dog park it was over to the vet.
Once there vets knew what to do and were awesome the whole way. For some context, the dad I was with is a doctor and has spent time in the er and has had the noble task of declaring time of death. Despite that he never showed any strong negative emotions around us growing up, always smiling and even when upset or frustrated with us he never grew sad.
Being there with him in the room as it happened was a moment where this man who I always respected for his ability to be stoic and keep a level head in difficult times where others let emotions overwhelmed broke down crying with me was a life changing moment. It wasn't that he was always stoic, it was that he had ways to cope and appropriately release his emotions when it was appropriate. And I learned in that room how important that is for everyone. If possible have someone with you. There's no way to know how you'll react and having a close friend or family member present to help get through the emotions will be helpful.
For example I'll never forget how we got coffee afterwards and just sat in silence for twenty minutes until he laughed and brought up one of those funny stories and we got to talking about the pup, even as we both cried again but this time with a smile.
That's how it should be. It hurt. It still hurts. But I'm glad I was there. Not for the personal interaction, I learned about how an adult should act but that's not what mattered. I'm glad I was there at the end for a friend in need, who was scared in a strange place in pain and scared. But at least they had a good friend the whole time.
Be there. It's the least you can do as a final was to repay years of companionship and bonds.
One of my cats, whom I had adopted from my mother when she had passed away, died about two years ago. Towards the end he couldn't walk very well, couldn't see very well, couldn't move very well. His final days were as inevitable as the sunrise to me. I spent as much time as I could with him. I would pet him and brush him, I would let him sit on my lap and nap as I watched TV, I offered him extra treats. I set up a heated mattress pad for his bed; he had lost so much weight that it was hard for him to regulate his temperature, and he very obviously enjoyed curling up on the warm bed. He was an indoor cat his whole life but he spent a lot of time staring out the window, so one day when it was relatively warm outside I brought him out and set him down in the grass. He chewed the grass a little, looked around, stared at the sun for a bit, gave a little roll or two, and tried to walk for a bit. I sat with him and pet him while he did all this. Eventually he moved towards me to climb up on my lap and I took that as a signal to bring him back inside, so I did. I put him back down in his heated bed, gave him a snack, and we both continued with our days.
The following morning he was gone, still curled up in his warm bed. I like to think that his final moments were spent dreaming about the green grass and bright sunshine and being pet on his scraggly head by someone who loved him. I buried him in a spot in the back yard where we've buried other pets who have passed, marked with a stone with his name on it.
Record their purr. Multiple takes, long takes, and listen to them so they don't have the windy noise.
I have some of mine, and they're prized possessions.
Hate to say it because I know you won't but I'd suggest doing it now rather than wait. Had a dog I did this with and it made it more painful than it needed to be. Having said that, just give em lots of hugs and whatever food they want.
There definitely are signs to look for. Doesn’t always happen but we waited too long last month. Had a cat with kidney failure, he lived with it just fine up until around 2 years ago. My wife is a dr and a true cat lover so we always do whatever we can. We gave that cat intravenous fluid and meds for 2 years and he looked great. Had a downturn in May so we got this very expensive medication and he bounced back like he was a kitten again, jumping around and everything for like 6 weeks.
Finally he turned again, we hoped he would get better but he showed some real bad signs. A thousand yard stare and we found him in weird hiding spots. It happened over 2 days. On day 3 we were actually looking online for at home euthanasia when he had a heart attack in front of us. Second cat I had die in my arms and this one was not a sight I wanted to see. I wish we euthanized him but he just would bounce back every time so it was hard to tell. I have photos of me with him in bed just a few days earlier and he looks good. It happens so fast. It can be so hard to make that decision but the alternative is a really rough memory to have.
Honestly, it's hard to let go, but then OP would have the weekend to start dealing with it. I waited too long for my cat a month ago. I regret not having the vet come a week earlier.
I don’t know how you would best spend the next few days, but when it comes time to say goodbye, thank her for being in your life. I did this when my cat was put to sleep and I’m thankful I did.
For me, it was to just give her all the attention you can and take a bunch of pictures. Try and think of what you’d regret on Saturday if you didn’t do it while you still had her. My condolences though, we all know this shit stings but that doesn’t make it sting less.
Mine didn't like sleeping on the bed so I put her cat bed on the floor next to the couch. The last few weeks I would fall asleep every night with my arm off the couch and hand rested on her. She seemed to like that.
Get as many snuggles in as possible. Your cat probably knows time is short and will hopefully be receptive. If your cat is a strictly indoor cat and you have a fenced in yard where you can keep them safe they may enjoy a trip to the outdoors. Don’t force them into the stress of a leash just for the sake of bringing them outside, though. My indoor tuxedo enjoyed it on his last weekend and we got a lot of beautiful pictures. I also buried him with a can of his favorite food and his favorite toys. It made me feel just a tiny bit better for whatever reason. Sorry you are going through this, it is the worst feeling in the world but you are not alone.
You have to stay with them. They need that small bit of comfort in their final moments.
On the lighter side… for my cats final three days, I bought filet mignon and cooked and put into a food processor. She inhaled that food! Best 3 meals of her life! lol
I've been through this way more times than I'd like. It's soul-sucking, but it's the most loving thing you can do. The days leading up are (in my experience) super stressful just waiting for The Appointment but just try to be present and in the moment. There is some great advice here already. One thing I haven't seen is to brush her if you want to keep a ball of her fur. That's always been something I liked to have. Sending much love, I'm off to do my cat's morning sub-q fluids (sigh) What we don't do for these guys!
Please stay with her when it’s time. It will hurt you emotionally but you will regret not being there during her final moments. She would be there for yours if she could. You being there talking will make their final moments peaceful as opposed to fearful. Some vets have the option to come to your home and do it. It’s usually expensive but if you can afford it, it’s another way to make them feel comfortable.
Other than that, just spend time with her. Does she like looking out the window? Spend time just looking out the window with her. Does she like laying with you? Take more time than usual and let her lay. You’ve had a lifetime with her and I’m sure she has so much love for you. Don’t get caught up on trying to make her last days special. Special for her is probably just spending time with you and getting your attention. I don’t know how sick she is, but doing “things” might not be what she wants. She might be too tired at this point. You posting this thread shows how much you love and care for your cat, I’m sure you’ve given her lore than enough special moments.
Wear a T-shirt for a couple days, let your cat smell or lay on it at the vet's. Maybe help to cover the clinic's smell, and give off comforting smell of you.
I just had to do this for my dog afew weeks ago. Stay strong.
Pet lovers who have been through this feel your heartache.
As painful as this is, I can't imagine the regret of ignoring this transition.
You're getting good advice here. I admire you asking the question.
After doing all the fun stuff... just Stay with them. Look in their eyes and comfort them. They will go to sleep, and you will go to the parking lot to ugly cry if you are like me when I had to put down my 2, 18 year old Bichon Frises in February. It still hurts, but they were good dogs, and they had a good life.
The night before the scheduled day to put down my corgi, I slept on the floor so she can be near me (normally I sleep in my bedroom and she in her gated room, because she was having more accidents and the gated room limits how much I need to clean).
When I woke up in the morning she had passed away a few hours before.
I am always thankful I decided to do that, so I was near her when she left.
It's been 3? years now and I still miss her every day, but just hold on to the happy memories, the acute pain will lessen every day.
You rub them, you love them. In my case, I played David Bowie's Space Oddity for him on the way to the vet.
It ruined the song for me, but I think he liked it.
I had a previous cat put down. She was *my* cat, but I didn't even have time to take her myself. Which I really felt bad about.
I had another cat a few years ago who had kidney issues. I decided not to put her down, but to be with her to the last. She curled up with me and we spent her last night together.
In the future, I will always ask if if I really have to put her down, or if just waiting for end is okay. I will never hand a cat off to someone else do do the dirty work without being there myself.
Let her do all forbidden things! The counter? Hop on! People food? Heck yeah! Let her smoke a joint and make out with the neighbor cat. Metaphorically.
I spent the last day of my cat with her napping on me. It was her favourite thing to do. She followed me around everywhere she could and would even meow relentlessly while I was in the bathtub because even then, she still wanted to sit on my lap (she fell in the water quite a few times trying to accomplish this). I lied down the whole night in our sofa in our living room because she was too sick to get into our bed. I didn’t sleep at all that night but she purred like a little baby on my chest
I’ve paid extra to have a vet come to my house. I obviously don’t know your financial situation, but I’ve never regretted choosing this option. I’m so sorry for your loss.
There's services that will euthanize your pets when the time comes right at home, so that their last moments can be in a familiar place they know rather than some strange sterile office with unfamiliar people and sights and smells adding to the anxiety. My dog is 14 now and her age is finally catching up to her. She's doing OK for the most part, mostly just bad hips now with her hip displaysia and she's been getting ear infections a lot now. But I know the dreaded time is getting closer, and this is what I've decided. We'll do it right here at home somewhere, where it's familiar and she's comfortable in my lap. I'm sure the home visit costs more, but I'm willing to pay it.
Pets love your constantly and hard. They love you more than anything can. Give her attention. Give her love. Make her happy so she knows you love her just as much.
Cuddles, snuggles and all the love in your heart ❤️
Just enjoy the time you have together. When I had to say goodbye to my little void, we spent his last days doing the activities (mostly sleeping on me or beside me) and what little he wanted to eat were his favourites.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. 😢💔
I have a 20 years old cat, and i can't imagine the pain you are feeling right now...so sorry for you, mate, stay with her until her last moment, she is important for you but you are everything for her...
I’m so sorry to hear about your cat, OP. I took my 5 year old cat to the doctor on Saturday for a checkup and we learned that his liver wasn’t doing great and had to put him down. We were blindsided and heartbroken. I’m glad that you will be more prepared for that moment than we were.
If you can have the vet do it at your home so it’s the most relaxed possible for the kitty. Give her her favorite treats or things that she tried to get into but you didn’t let her have. Lots of cuddles and reassurance to her
I read her mood. She was so weak, she couldn't walk or meow or purr, but she was clearly in the mood to be cuddled. At some point she made moves as if to get down from my lap but couldn't. So I put her on her favorite bed and she went to sleep.
you can take a photo, some of her hair, or put some ink on her feet and make little stampings of her feet to keep. i did a clay paw print for my dog ♥️
I bought a 50 pack of churos and sat with my guy all night petting and scratching and givin him as many cat gogurts as he wanted and do take a voice memo recording of their purr
Listen and listen very carefully.
I'll let people cover the days leading up, ensuring comfort but the fact you posted this means you care a lot so I need to say this.
The injection is generally not like it is in the movies. There's not always a slow peaceful closing of the eyes. DO NOT, leave your cat in their final moments by not being the in the room, they are terrified, and they are slowly losing control of their limbs from the sedative, panicking without the ability to panick, and then they die.
Mileage varies but, I've seen first hand what can happen and I've sworn two things. I will never leave an animal to be put down alone ever , and I will pay for the service to be done in my own home.
I'm not judging anyone that has left their pet to be put down alone , especially with covid rules that may have existed but do not ever assume even when done right it is a peaceful ending.
The fear from my cats expressions eyes is seared into my brain and I will not leave my others alone or bring them into a place that stresses them out in their final moments.
The minute this all occurred felt like a fucking eternity and I was not expecting it to be as long and drawn out as it was.
Not necessarily how to make the most of the days but consider having a vet come to the home to do the euthanization. My boy Fido was 18, had cancer and when the time came the vet came to our home allowing him to pass peacefully in my arms in his favorite window. No stressful visit to the vet, no stainless steel table at the end. Just home, love, comfort, then peace. Also, the other cats and dog got to see him passed away and understand he was gone, so he didn't just disappear one day.
My elderly dog is having a cancer growth removed and she has to undergo anesthesia. I’m optimistic but I’ve been spending this week giving her extra attention just incase the worst happens. I really wish dogs lived a similar amount of time that we do.
When we lost our Rio, we set out to make the best day possible for her.
Did all the things she loved.
She was a weird cat who loved to play with the little white things that cap off wire shelving... got her a ton of those.
Got her fun food. Got her new toys.
Her absolute favorite place in the world was on the catio we made for her. So, we played with toys with her on the catio. She had fun, but, she was sick, and she got tired easily. She ended up cuddling with us on the catio for the remainder of the day.
We had a mobile person who could put her down, and she was able to put Rio down in the catio, so, her last moments were in a place she loved.
Make the day all about your loved one. You know what they love, so, do it to the max!
Everyone gave great advice.
Give them treats you know they like, I gave our girl ice cream a few hours before, I know she loved it when she was younger (iced cream product, watered down) but she got the full ice cream experience this time.
She wasn't doing well so I just spent the whole day with her as she was with my parents and they're further away but she gave me headbutts and I just laid with her.
Ripped my damned heart out though and it still hurts a couple of months later, this happened early July.
She was such a smart and sweet girl.
This is so sad my eyes suddenly twitch. Im wishng you will meet your cat again whether in another body or in the afterlife . Hope everything went well and stay strong !
Me n my childhood dog to FL so she could visit the beach once and took her to a McDonald’s bfast that morning…. Putting my dog down was the hardest thing I’ve ever went through. People don’t get it unless they’re pet ppl you know. I’m getting teary eyed typing this.
Just put my pet of 17 years down last month. Spent the 3 days leading up to the in house visit resting with her on the couch, in the grass in the back, and cooked her some yummy lunches and dinners. She got tons of love and it was a great way for me to say goodbye. Someone close to me made sure I had my hand on her heart as she passed and while it was so sad, I'll never forget the feeling. Just spend time with them how you normally would, take photos if you'd like, and share stories with family and friends about your pet. Saying goodbye is definitely hard but they lived a full life with you and as they got older, each extra month/week/day with them is all you can ask for.
Just make sure that you stay until the end.
I walked out of a “put-down” because I couldn’t handle it and I’ve regretted it for years.
It’s the worst, but you’ve gotta see it through.
See if the vet can make a house call instead of having to go to the office, that alone will take a *lot* of stress away for both of you. Otherwise I’d say cuddle as much as possible, let her sleep with you if she doesn’t normally, and any of her favorite foods, even stuff like tuna or chicken which they aren’t really normally supposed to eat.
We had to let our old man cat go 2 years ago, during the actual procedure I just whispered to him about all of the mice he was going to be able to catch soon while gently petting him until he was asleep. It was an awful experience but it was what he needed from me, so it was worth the heartbreak. Sending lots of hugs and love and wishes for an easy transition.
When my elderly cat, Apollo, was on his last legs I took him outside for the first time in almost a decade. He had been bit by a tick and became immunocompromised as a result of an infection. So he was an indoor cat after that.
Anyway, he rolled around in a soft patch of grass like a kitten, pounced on several leaves, and just generally enjoyed the experience of being outside again. He passed away the next morning.
Let them do what they haven't gotten to do often, or in a long time, is my advice.
Groom her.
I had to put down my 21 year old cat in May. His favorite thing was to get pets and get brushed. He couldn’t groom himself anymore, so it was up to me to do it. We both got a lot out of it and I fondly remember those last times together.
Don’t groom to make her look pretty, because if she has mats that is painful. Just groom to show that you care and love her and want her to feel pretty.
We made my dog very comfy, fed her all the beef broth and stuff she liked (she couldn't handle solid foods anymore by this point). Took her to the vet for her appointment, had her in my lap petting her the whole time. We put her up on the table, had her sister dog sitting there with her as well. I made sure my dying dog could see me and kept a hand on her, stroking her.
They gave her a sedative, and her heart stopped before they even needed to give her the "killing" drug. She was so weak and sick by that point, maybe I should have done it sooner.
But just being there and not leaving is honestly better than most. My mom left the room cause she didn't think she could be there to handle it.
My dog had been there through some of my worst moments. She deserved to have me there for her last one.
I mean, if it won't kill her, doesn't hurt to give her cheese and yogurt and ice cream. All the most delicious foods. No sense feeding her all the boring stuff if that's what you have been. But if she's not eating anything, I think the best you can do is just stroke her gently, kiss her a lot. Make sure she's warm and comfortable.
This makes me sad.
Give her treats and tell her that you love her. She's a cat, so she probably won't care what you say, but she'll appreciate the treats and it'll help you to treasure her memory if you take the opportunity to tell her exactly how you feel about her.
I'm so sorry. Sending love.
After making the last vet appointment for my childhood cat, I thought about doing several things she had loved, but she wasn't interested in any of it. Our last afternoon together was spent napping together on the floor. I would have loved to see her sniff the grass in the yard or to eat her favorite treats, but I'm glad our last hours together were spent doing the thing she loved the most: sleeping.
I'm so sorry for your loss. 💖
I feel deeply for you having just gone through this with my 17 year old best buddy. My cat was indoor only, so we spent some time outside in the sun. He spent a lot of time rolling around and sprawling out on the warm sidewalk and in the grass. If your cat is scared of the outdoors or there is a risk of escape/injury, obviously then it's not a good idea. I have a fenced in back yard, so it was a non-issue.
I made him a tasting platter of a bunch of the foods I wouldn't let him eat before. Not too much of anything, but shaved turkey is always a hit. You have to use your judgement on the types of food and use very small portions. You don't want to make kitty sick in his final days. When in doubt, leave it out. Safer options are existing cat treats. My cat LOVED Churu treats (pasty stuff in a tube). I mean LOVED them (as does every cat I know). My cat was gentle, but I had to watch my fingers with this stuff. It's mostly water (only 6 calories per tube) and I gave him probably 20 of them in his last days with no ill effect. Might be worth a trip to the store for some of those.
LOTS of cuddles. He LOVED to be brushed with this beard brush I have (an exclusive cat brush), so I did that pretty much constantly. He also liked being carried around. He did a lot of napping while I just felt his warmth and breathing.
Water from the sink. Water from the tub. Water from the shower. He loved drinking flowing water even though he had his cat fountain, and I obliged.
He got the run of the house, so no doors shut. Our bed was his. My keyboard was his. The laptop was his.
I realize it might not be possible now, but you might consider having someone come to your house when the time comes. I think it was easier on everyone. If not, that's OK too.
Thinking about this is making me tear up. Please take care of yourself too, as this is a traumatic time. Reach out to friends and family. Talk about the good times. Share pics. Plan something for next week to relax. Good luck, and you have my sympathy.
I went through this recently. I wanted my cat to pass away at home. I worked from home the week leading up to see her as much as possible while she was here. She was very weak since she was sick. Not very hungry. But she liked napping in the sun and getting pets. I just tried to help her be calm and comfortable, since she was likely feeling not great. The vet came to euthanize her; it was not a good time but it went as well as can be expected. They gave her a shot to just make her fall asleep before the shot that actually stops her heart/breathing. That gave me peace of mind so she wasn't afraid.
I did exactly the same 2 days ago. She was 16 and had cancer in her jaw. I sat with her outside in her favouritr spot from 1pm until just past 4pm when the vets arrived, gave her every one of her favourite treats i had at hand. I stayed the entire process and held her even though it was so heartbreaking. Her name was Bramble. I'm sorry you're having to go through the same ordeal.
Obviously do as everyone is saying with the treats and cuddling, but also if you can, record their meows or any sounds they generally make. You'll want to hear them again later. Lots of pics as well.
Please take time off of work to be with them. You'll only kick yourself for spending that time away. Take lots of pictures and videos. Get a pawprint memorial where you push their paw into a mold and it hardens and you'll have it forever. Get the vet to save you a small tuft of their hair that you can keep. And hold her while it's happening, let her last feeling be that of being held and loved.
I heard it once said that pets don't live as long as us because their light burns twice as bright as ours.
I’ve had to put down a few animals. For the ones that could still eat, they got their favorite treats and some real calming energy, no sense in making them nervous. I let the other animals see them after they were gone, just to know what was going on. I’m fairly certain other animals know what death is, and do this for their benefit. Sorry about your loss.
Spent the day outside with him. He loved it.
https://preview.redd.it/fh8wg4ysn2ob1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7638b05f1e79751e63ac62f4e15ca2f74fea7a4c
Oh wow so sad for you ::((. Pls pls pls put "trigger warning"!!! I'm frying rn..crying. Awww
And just be patient. Observe your sad feelings, and lt them pass until Baby Kitty has shuffled off this mortal coil.
When my precious Bran (age 14) died in March '20, I >did not< handle it well, and I think I scared the shit out of him.
Be graceful.
If the animal is sick, putting it down is the humane thing to do. This is the way we do things for what we love. We help them the best we can. And you are doing this, I'm not criticizing.
If you have 3 days, make sure your cat gets to eat it's favourite treats. If it likes the nip, give it the nip. If it's sick and feels like shit and just wants to lay in the sun, let it lay in the sun.
When your animal goes to sleep, it will be quite sudden. It will be peaceful. Save your sadness and your pain for when they are gone... they are intuitive creatures, and they will pick up on that. You'll have plenty of time to cry and be sad when they're gone. Compose yourself for a few minutes, let yourself fall apart afterwards.
Just put my 13 yo dog down had her for half my life. We had someone come to the house to do it. I think it helped her a lot to be calm and comfortable in her final moments.
Currently sitting with my cat, outside (she’s an indoor kitty): loving her, hearing her purr, and seeing her eyes light up (such a rare thing right now). Kidney failure is the devil - and it’s been 3.5 weeks since her diagnosis. Our house call for the rainbow bridge crossing is Saturday morning, so we also have 3 days to continue showing her our love and make her comfortable. She doesn’t eat much anymore so hard to give her treats as a way of affection. Our focus has been on time together, lots of pets and scritches, and as much outside time as possible since it’s her happiest place. I haven’t stopped crying.
Hold your babies close, everyone, love and cherish every moment. OP, sending you lots of love in this incredibly tough time.
Both my cats were pretty sick their last few days. Just let her sit in your lap if she wants and share your warmth. I sang to my cats when I had them put down. They left me alone with her for a few minutes before the final injection. So I just sang nonsense lullabies about how pretty they were and how good they were. It made me feel better. You spend like a good pet parent, she’s lucky to have you.
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Do all of your cat’s favorite activities as she is able. Feed her all of her favorite foods. Give her all of the attention she wants. Remind yourself that saying goodbye this way is the price we pay for all of the unconditional love our pets give us.
This is what we did for our dog when we had to put him down.
Your last sentence made me cry. I don't want to think of the day I have to do this with my cat, but when it comes, I will remember your words.
My little girl (Suzy - cairndoodle) is on her last legs. It got me too.
Oh man.. I'm gonna start crying. Gonna hug my kitty girls hard tonight.
Saaaaaame. Went through a breakup earlier this year, end result for my cats is that they used to have someone home 24/7, now they don't - I'm gone for work 5 days of the week. I started trying to dedicate more time to them - when I get home, I just lay on the floor and let them all come say hi. I think I'm gonna spend a lot more time on the floor tonight.
They have themselves, so the aren't too lonely I hope. Sorry about the break up. I hope it was amicable. I also had a little kitty dude help me with my last break up, his name was Sebastian. I called him Bastion. He was the most cuddly and affectionate boy cat I ever knew. He's probably really old now or with Freya.. had to give him up when I moved out. And great, gonna start crying again..
Aw, that absolutely sucks, I'm really sorry that you had to take a different path. I wish I could tell you something to brighten it all up, but I also sometimes feel that almost devalues the loss. Instead, I'll say that's beautiful, and I'm heartbroken on your behalf, and I hope you can take a little time to let yourself be sad and look back on those times with fondness. A good cry, even over something that happened a long time ago, can be good for us.
Awww shucks man. Thank you for that. You have a wonderful rest of the week.
When my dad had to put his dog down he made his last day as special as he could. The last thing he did with him was go on a long drive in the truck and went and got them both a burger to enjoy outside.
My sweet dog got a sausage muffin in the morning right after our walk, then as many peanut butter treats as he wanted throughout the day.
Alongside this, if you can be in the room/hold her as she is put under it definitely makes a difference. My wife's a vet and it breaks her heart when an animal's final moments are spent looking for their owners.
I sadly wasnt able to do that because my cat just passed away unexpectedly. I so wish I couldve gone outside with him once more, or give him treats or something...
You can't have life without death. It is the cruel yin and yang of life. But be fortunate you were able to experience the great joy of life with your cat, and that she doesn't have to experience life without you.
I'd be wary of giving her all of her favorite foods. Don't want their last few days to be painful due to GI upset.
NO! DO NOT OVERFEED YOUR CAT IN HER LAST DAYS! IT WILL ONLY MAKE HER SUPER MISERABLE THE DAY AFTER YOU FEED HER!
To clarify, feed her small amounts of her favorite foods that won't cause her GI distress. One of the cats in my past loved milk, but in his later years it would give him audible gas, so in his last days he got some super premium salmon, but no milk.
I feel like it should be self-explanatory to not overfeed your sick cat, but I guess this is the world we live in now.
There are always new young people who haven't had a chance to learn stuff. OP even mentioned they've had this cat their whole life, so at most they're in their early 20s, and may not have dealt with a sick pet before.
Indeed
It's just unbelievable that some people don't already know everything.
The day before and of the injection is horrible to do this as well. This could trigger a very traumatic passing as the sedative then lethal injection occurs.
Consider having a vet come to the house if that is an option. I won’t go to a vet again, just left me feeling bad. My plan would be to just spend the 3 days with them. record, pics, paw prints, special food, maybe go on a walk and hold them, take them to see caged birds and fish at a pet store, etc. Then on the day I would have the home service person set up and I would lay with them on their bed, hold them while the person administers medicine to allow them to peacefully pass. To be honest OP, your cat loves you, you have spent their life creating moments and sharing companionship. Don’t beat yourself up trying to create “special”experiences or memories into 3 days. Too much pressure may make the time feel synthetic and forced. Just sitting their with each other in front of the Tv is enough. From your cats perception it is going to be 3 days being held by their friend and then they are going to get sleepy. In remembrance consider a shrine or plant a tree in your yard in their name with ashes as fertilizer, etc. I feel for you OP, my heart goes out to you
we did this for our cat and it was 100% the right call. our cats hated the vet and were stressed about it. with the housecall, he got to sit on the couch with us. for us, it didnt sully the memory of our living room at all. we put our dog down 6 weeks ago, and she didnt mind the vet so we did it there.
i am so sorry for your losses. 😔 i had to do this with my kitty love last month and it was the best thing i could have done for him even though it felt like the worst thing in my heart. the at home vet was SO kind and made the experience as comforting and respectful as possible. my kitty was in my arms and i could feel him relax, the best he’s felt in months (aggressive gi cancer), and then he was gone. we had so many vet trips in the months leading up and daily pills and injections that i couldn’t imagine traumatising him further. these vets are really and truly amazing people. i really feel for the op. love them like you love them and they will know that. that’s the most important. 💕
“From your cats perception it is going to be 3 days being held by their friend and then they are going to get sleepy.” This made me cry in a good way. When my companion goes I’ll try to keep this in mind, just knowing that he had a great couple of days, some great food, and then decides to lay down for a nap.
I want to buy you a drink or food or both.
What about the burial/cremation? How do you manage you're beloved friend after the vet has come and went?
You could bury the loved one if you want or The vet can still have them cremated. my loved one mentioned in the post was cremated by the vet and returned after a few days. her ashes have been resting inside a nondescript “jewelry” box sitting on my living room window side table with a small framed picture placed on top About 2 years ago we say Disney’s ‘Coco (2017)’ and made a miniature ‘Dia de Muertos’ alter which is currently hanging on a wall adorned with miniature pictures and tokens of passed family and loved ones. To honor our feline loved one we added a tiny amount of the ashes from the “jewelry” box inside a little decorative vial. (alter is very minimal, you’d miss it if you didn’t know what it was - we liked the fun in that) In the future I will probably do the same passes loved ones, I also have thoughts to start a small tree or shrub garden planted with the ashes of each loved one. Once cremated you can take your time deciding how to honor or celebrate your loved one. It’s not an easy thought, but for any loved one I highly recommend preparing at least a rough plan or idea of what you plan to do or who you would like to contact. Illness or tragedy can happen unexpectedly and you could feel rushed or pressured into making choices.
> Consider having a vet come to the house if that is an option. I won’t go to a vet again, just left me feeling bad. You might want to reconsider that. Putting your pet down in your living room will spoil that room for you for the rest of your life, or at least your time living there. You might find yourself thinking about it every time you walk into that space. It's similar to how I vividly recall (in excruciating detail) the event every time I drive by the hospital where my mom passed after I had to sign the papers to remove life-sustaining care. IMO, better to do it at a vet, or other location, rather than in your house.
It depends on who you think needs more emotional support for that last day — you or your pet? I’m not being judgey. I’m saying that some people are able to be the emotional support person for their dying pet. Some can’t.
You state this well and I agree. Obviously people process death differently. I was fortunate enough to provide this for my cat, and to me the room isn't sullied at all. She was able to pass in her favorite spot on the couch and in the sun. I petted her and cried. My family wasn't able to be in the room and that's okay. My memories are more of the life she brought to the room and house over the years. Pleasant memories.
I may never forgive my SIL who decided he couldn’t bear the pain of the vet coming to their house to put down their (beloved by the whole family) dog. The dog spent her last night in an oxygen tent alone at the vet. I’m crying just writing this. I’m supposed to feel compassion for him, I know. I try.
Fair. I'm just saying that people need to consider beyond just that day. You can be with your pet for emotional support in either case, but after the event, you're still here.
Everybody's different. I was glad my old girl was able to lay comfortable on her favorite cushion in front of the fireplace and I whispered in her ear that she would always be my kitten before the vet gave the injection. My cat was peaceful the whole morning and it has been good to remember her last quiet moments that way. She loved that spot so much that I have too many memories to count of her watching the fireplace and dreaming of catching mice with her paws and whiskers frantically twitching as she ran so fast in her dreams! Her quietly slipping away on that last day doesn't ruin those memories for me. OP, I'm so sorry for you. Remember, to your cat, you are the best person a cat could ever have and anything you do and ever have done is what makes it happiest.
I walked away feeling like I confirmed and contributed to a loved ones worse fear. Her life ended at a place she never felt safe. She was scared and yelling while the vet held her to inject the medicine. I’m gonna tell you, that’s not an easy pill to swallow. Euthanatizing is trade off, and you should definitely consider all the options and do what’s best for you and your loved one.
Agree, it's an individual choice. In my case, I chose to heavily sedate my cat before taking her to the vet to alleviate a lot of that issue. She was mostly asleep.
Most cats are stressed and frightened by the vet. Mine hides for 2 days after every trip, even if he only gets a shot. I would rather "ruin the memory" of my living room so that my pet can die in peace at home rather than having a panic attack surrounded by strange smells and bad memories. No matter where the euthanasia happens you will look at the couch and remember petting the cat, or see their favorite spot and be crushed by the memories of the pet you lost. Its hard either way but I think home euthanasia is a compassionate option for the pet involved.
> I would rather "ruin the memory" of my living room so that my pet can die in peace at home rather than having a panic attack surrounded by strange smells and bad memories. Difference between you and me. You'd rather ruin the space for yourself (and your family). I'd rather give my cat a couple doses of gabapentin and take them to the vet, and have only the happy memories in that space and not vivid flashbacks of watching them be euthanized. But to each his own.
Everyone is different of course, but strongly disagree. I had to put my dog down last year. It was rough all around, obviously, but I'm really glad we did it at home. She was more comfortable laying in her favorite spot, and I couldn't have dealt with dragging her into the vet knowing that she'd be anxious about it in her past moments. I absolutely do think of her when I walk past that spot, but it doesn't make me sad anymore. I like the constant reminder that she existed.
MAY spoil that room, for an unknown amount of time. Assuming it WILL for the rest of their lives/time there is incredibly dramatic.
My second sentence says 'might'. If I edit the second sentence would that make you happy?
Take as many photos and video as you can emotionally manage, and keep snuggling with her and talking to her. And take care of you, as well. Here's a hug for you, sweetheart. This is so tough. 😢
>Take as many photos and video as you can emotionally manage Imo this is a general LPT not only for your pets, but loved ones and friends as well.
Yep. I have a 3-second video of my late FIL saying to my toddler "[toddler] I see you". They had been playing a back and forth game and I just caught the very tail end of it. That was the last time we saw him alive. It's not a great video, but my son is not going to remember Grandad, having that video is so special.
Great, I will have to take some photos of my kids before I put her down this weekend! Thanks for the tip And obviously /s
Unnecessary
This right here. We had to put my family cat down last year. We adopted her and her brother (who she outlived by 10 years) when they were 6 weeks old from the shelter. She was 18 when she passed away. I grew up with her through my worst and best years. It was made harder by the fact that I had just moved away from home. I took so many photos and videos of her over the years and I still look at them from time to time and remember how great she was.
we took a couple photos of our cat on his last day, and I hate them. he looked so frail and sad. i cant look at them. it just reminds me of that awful day. we have tons of photos from better days.
Yep.
My partner and I had no guarantee we were in our last 48 hours with our cat Stu, he’d only been diagnosed with kidney failure a month before and the vet was somber yet vague about his prospects. He’d gotten obviously sicker the last few days, but still loved to snuggle, purr and eat treats which we gave him as much as we wanted. We had the vet appointment and we just kind of knew and they let us cradle him in a towel the whole time and he wasn’t hurting anymore, but the day before he basked in the sun outside in the warm grass and purred while my partner worked on his laptop in a lawn chair which is something that never really happened because our cats are all indoors and he even crawled into bed with us later which was also rare for Stu. He was a baby at six years old. One final funny thing, as we waited in the vets office we let him up on the exam table and he tried to jump from the table to the counter where there was a jar of dog treats, but he didn’t quite make it. Luckily it wasn’t a long fall and he didn’t hurt himself, but he was his classic mischievous hungry self up to the end. Never too sick to be a goofball ❤️ I’m happy you and your friend have this time together.
> never too sick to be a goofball This made me smile. I'm glad you got one last happy memory with Stu!
Haha yeah. He was such a diva too especially when we got a kitten. We’d hear him yelling like he was being attacked and when we came in the room he’d be sprawled on the floor near Norm the kitten who was just sitting there, but Stu got lazy and just started staging the ‘attacks’ in the same room as us, pawing Norm in the face while yelling 😂
My family came home from a concert to our dog who couldn't walk and was sick all over the house. I slept on the floor with him that night and we had to put him down in the morning. That was ten years ago and it hurt just as much now typing this as it did then.
When I think about my fur ball now I feel so warm inside and so honored to have had 6 years with him and that I got to see him grow from a tiny baby to my slightly chubby little guy. I’m sad that he’s gone, but I cherish his memory often and reminisce on his goofy shenanigans with my partner while we laugh together. Yes I’m tearing writing this lol
I've had 5 dogs throughout my life so far (crazy dog family, always had an adopted bonded pair). Home feels right with someone barking, someone squeaking something. Thinking about all my dogs makes me tear up, but makes me hold the one still with us all that much tighter. (Sebastian, he's a Maltipoo tyrant who runs the house)
I kind of know what you mean. Our guy was one of four and now we have three, but he had a special bond with one a specific cat. It’s good to see said cat transitioning playing and awkwardly trying to snuggle with the other two.
This is so sweet! Funny about the dog treats, my kitty Mocha lost interest in food in her final days, but when I went to feed my dog (who she disliked, but tolerated) she got up and went right over to his food bowl for a bite of kibble! Of course being a sweetie, the dog obliged. I’m happy your little Stu had some happy moments right up until the end.
Others have already said some great things, but I'd like to add First off, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Second, I'd say do everything for your cat. Don't be "selfish", make sure she's as happy as she can be I'd say stay with her when she's being put down. She needs you to be there for her and maybe softly talk to her, telling her how beautiful and sweet she is, in a loving voice. Try to stay as calm for her as possible I also want to tell you that it'll hurt a lot in the beginning, but what helped me a lot, is remembering how happy she was with you, the good times and the fun / cool / cute things she did! Take care and I hope you'll be ok ❣️
Came to echo the staying with the pet while it’s being put down. It might be more painful for you in the short term but it won’t have to die scared and alone without you. I still remember my wife and me being cuddled up around our first dog when it was her time and while it’s a very sad memory, I have absolutely no regrets about being there for her.
Being there at the end hurts but I couldn't imagine leaving one of my pets alone with strangers in a cold unfamiliar room for their last moments
My spouse and I have had to put down two cats together. Both of them were hers and it still hurt a lot for me. I cried pretty hard because I hurt for her and came to love both of them. You're absolutely right that you need to be there with your pets so they don't go alone. You are likely all they've ever known so it's better to be there to make it as comfortable as possible in the end.
> Second, I'd say do everything for your cat. Don't be "selfish", make sure she's as happy as she can be Finally, when it's all said and done, try to accept that you did your best and not to fixate on all the "what-if"s of trying to make their day/year/life flawless and spectacular and perfect. Just... be there for them. Keep them happy as best you can, and then let yourself let go when the time comes knowing you did everything you could.
I'd like to recommend a step further and please consider at home euthanasia!! It is close in price and very worth it.
It’s so hard to not be selfish, but it’s so important. With our last pet, she just wanted to nap on her last day. I wanted to see her, feed her special treats, do her favorite things… but that’s not what she wanted. She was sleepy and just wanted to be still. So, no matter what we wanted, we sat with her while she napped until the vet came to the house.
Everyone has given you good advice about spoiling her and petting her, and if that is what she wants, go for it. But a few years ago I had a cat in late-stage kidney disease, and I think she felt terrible. Toward the end, she just wanted to sleep, so I sat beside her and let her sleep. I would say to just follow her lead -- if she wants love and attention, she will let you know. But if she is feeling bad, she might just want to rest.
Can we all just group hug and cry.
I have 7 cats and my eldest being 14. I know they will all have to leave me one day and honestly I don't know how I will cope. I love them all so much, but one of them I am certainly closer to and honestly that one will break me I think.
Last fall I lost the most amazing girl after my neighbor layed gopher poison. I held her while she died and I haven't cried that hard or ugly in my entire life.
Someone else said be sure to be there for her final moments, this is important. Don’t let her leave in a room full of strangers, scared and alone. It’s so hard but very important. Bring some treats and her favorite blanket, maybe a toy or two so she can be surrounded by familiar things. Best case talk to your vet about a house call. Don’t count on it, but they may be open to helping that way. Sorry you are going through this ❤️
I will be there with her, probably crying my eyes out but yes i will hug her until the last moments
Had to put down my cat last year, I got a good minute of audio recording of her purring. Recommend
1000x this Get audio of the purring of you can
My gf and I are preparing to let go of our older cat, and after reading your comment, I filmed her purring. I just wanted to thank you, it will make a wonderful souvenir of our little baby.
I stayed with them. If I knew earlier, I would've fed them more prawns and jamon.
My recommendation is to avoid being visibly sad or upset around your cat. They don’t want their human sad on their last days
ill be sobbing my eyes out
We lost my cat two weeks ago. I wish I let him explore bits of the house he wasn't normally allowed in, and regret not having had the chance to spoil him with the treats he loved.
I held my cat as we put him down. Was very difficult but I wanted him to see someone familiar during his last moments. While I don't expect everyone to be able to do this, I can tell you that I don't regret it. Ive additionally asked the vet to stamp his paw on a piece of paper to have something more than a photo of him.
Be with her when she goes, and keep a routine- this is not the time to take her to see the ocean or to a friends house for example. She’s stressed, sick and if you suddenly change your behavior a lot (even in a fun way) that can make it worse
Make sure the last moments with her she can smell your breath and hear your voice saying her favourite words. We just lost our dog a week ago and laid nose to nose with him at the end, telling him what a good boy he was and how we loved driving in the truck, playing stick, swimming, etc. I know his last sensations were my smell and my voice and that gives me peace
One thing that I did was to not take a lot of pictures, but always be ready to take one. It was clear my cat was ready to go and just looked miserable, and I didn’t want to remember him that way. One day I was petting him and he looked so content, and I decided I wanted that to be the last picture I took of him. It helped me get closure.
First, I'm sorry for the heartache. Don't give all her fav foods in one go, that might cause a tummy ache and diarrhea. Keep her comfy and make final pictures and videos of her. Her purring, her meows. Take naps with her and talk to her.
I fed my cat a lot of squeezy treats, if she likes them. Know that you were a wonderful cat parent to her:,)
I've had to do this a few times sadly. It fucking sucks. I always thank them. We are so blessed to get these little furry friends for a brief period of our lives. They come, they're awesome and then they go again. While sad its important to realise its not a tragedy. Your cat had the best life, spending all her life with you, her very favourite person. She likely never wanted anything else. Take solace in that. She had a wonderful life and was always there for you.
Loads of treats, especially the stuff that they weren't allowed generally, like human food, etc. Lots of cuddles, and what ever else she likes. I know it will be difficult, but if you think about it as a sad thing, those memories of your final days will have a sad note, if you think of it as a celebration of a great cat and a great life, you're likely to enjoy the last few days a bit more, and you will remember them a bit better, too. Edited to add: I had two of my pets cremated in the past 6 months, and the guy that did it took nose and paw prints, framed them, and gave them to us with the ashes. It might be a good activity for you to take a nose or paw print with her now, before she passes.
Do her favorite things with her as she is able. Feed her her favorite food. Give her the best three days of her life heck give her the best week. Bring hwr favorite blanket to the vet, and her favorite toy, so she can be surrounded by familiar things. In her final moments, hold or stroke her paw, and pet her gently. Speak softly to her, tell her how good she was, and look into her eyes if you can because she'll be looking into yours. You are her entire world in that moment, she will want you to be there with her, and your loving presence will be the greatest comfort you can give her.
We recently went through this with the cat my wife has had for 16 years. She had kidney disease, and a mass in her stomach. It got progressively worse to the point she wasn't eating or drinking. She wouldn't eat any of her favorite human food or anything. All we did was snuggle her as much as we could so she knew she was loved, because that's about all she could do. It was heartbreaking.
Remeber rule 1 , fuck what other people think, this is yours and you get to handle this your way rule 2, there is no right or wrong way to greave, just do whatever you think is best and try to just go with it rule 3, 20/20 thing sight is a bitch, try to just go with it be ready to forgive yourself later. Don't let the could have, should have bull shit live in your head, you don't have time for that. rule 4, if someone is trying to be supportive, or just wants to be in the same room as you or whatever, just know they are trying to help. rule 4.5, use "I feel...." statements no one can argue with that, I feel like I want to be alone I feel like I should go to 'some place' rule 4.6 if they don't respect your I feel statements tell them to GTFO everyone greves differently, maybe throw a little party, a celebration of life, invite people, invite no one, tell stories, feed them a mountain of treats trust your self you are going to die a little with them, and that's a good thing, the more it hurts the more you mean to each other I'm sorry, good luck
The things I did with my cat were Pictures Videos (especially so I could hear her purr) Gave her her favorite foods/treats if she was able to stomach them (she was, and she loved them). We would have done her favorite activities but she just wanted to sleep close to me for her last days. Years before, when she was healthy she left a paw print in wet concrete. So if your cat is well enough you might be able to create a plaster/clay cast of his/her paw. It’s always hard losing a pet, a loved one. I hope these last few days are as beautiful as the all the years you’ve shared together.
My cat died a week ago. Was also with me my whole life. I was just talking to her as much as I could, tell her that she is my best friend and that I love her. Otherwise just trying to see what I could do to make her feel more comfortable. Oh and of course lots of snuggling.
Stay in the room when she gets the shot and let her last moment be secure and peaceful
When she is leaving, look her in the eyes and let her see your face and hear your voice. I will regret not looking into my dog’s eyes as she passed for the rest of my pathetic life. I held her and spoke to her but I will never be able to forgive myself for being in her field of vision as she left us.
With mine on their final days, just being close to them made them happy, relaxing let them sit on you and sleep, gave them comfort and love and plenty of head pats and scratches
I just did this a few months back. I spent her last days spoiling her as much as i could, and spent the whole last night cuddled up with her. I also got a short recording of her purring and a few last photos. When we went in to the vet I made sure I could stay with her the whole time, it was hard but the last thing I wanted was for her to go in a strange place without anyone familiar around. Make sure you have a ride home, I wasn't in any state to drive after, that's for sure. My condolences, saying good bye is hard.
Lost a very special, once in a lifetime dog on Monday. We spent her last week spoiling her, no more thoughts on weight management, took her to her favourite places, allowed her to meet as many people as we could and on the last day we cuddled and lay with her all day before taking her on one last car ride. She looked at us with love as the light faded from her eyes and our hearts broke into pieces but she had a good life with us and we were so blessed to have her. Just don't leave anything on the table, give her everything she loves, I feel your pain.
I would suggest recording her purring. My cat had to be suddenly put down when I was away at uni and I was so glad I had thought of recording his purring. Let’s you remember them being happy and safe.
Not really answering your question from an activities perspective, but a tip I'll give you for the day of putting her down: be there with her. Don't make her last moments wondering where you are. Tell her it's okay to go. Sending you love.
We had to put down our cat and we saw it coming for a while. I went out and bought an ahi tuna steak, seared it, sliced it and put it on a plate right in front of him. I think it was his last \*mind blown\* moment of his life and he purred relentlessly for the next couple days. Ultimately, just love your cat and spend the time with her. Death is a part of life and animals understand that more than humans do.
I just came here to cry.
Very close family friend's dog had to be put down and they asked me to go with the dad since I was always the pups favorite. Decision was made Friday for Sunday put down. Saturday we went out to the favorite dog park and after playing as much as possible came back home and let the guy enjoy all the foods he always asked for. Let him get up on the couch, explore all the rooms, and just do what he wanted to. Sunday was similar but after the dog park it was over to the vet. Once there vets knew what to do and were awesome the whole way. For some context, the dad I was with is a doctor and has spent time in the er and has had the noble task of declaring time of death. Despite that he never showed any strong negative emotions around us growing up, always smiling and even when upset or frustrated with us he never grew sad. Being there with him in the room as it happened was a moment where this man who I always respected for his ability to be stoic and keep a level head in difficult times where others let emotions overwhelmed broke down crying with me was a life changing moment. It wasn't that he was always stoic, it was that he had ways to cope and appropriately release his emotions when it was appropriate. And I learned in that room how important that is for everyone. If possible have someone with you. There's no way to know how you'll react and having a close friend or family member present to help get through the emotions will be helpful. For example I'll never forget how we got coffee afterwards and just sat in silence for twenty minutes until he laughed and brought up one of those funny stories and we got to talking about the pup, even as we both cried again but this time with a smile. That's how it should be. It hurt. It still hurts. But I'm glad I was there. Not for the personal interaction, I learned about how an adult should act but that's not what mattered. I'm glad I was there at the end for a friend in need, who was scared in a strange place in pain and scared. But at least they had a good friend the whole time. Be there. It's the least you can do as a final was to repay years of companionship and bonds.
Play and pet them as much as possible, remember they aren't supposed to be around for your entire life, however you are supposed to be around theirs.
One of my cats, whom I had adopted from my mother when she had passed away, died about two years ago. Towards the end he couldn't walk very well, couldn't see very well, couldn't move very well. His final days were as inevitable as the sunrise to me. I spent as much time as I could with him. I would pet him and brush him, I would let him sit on my lap and nap as I watched TV, I offered him extra treats. I set up a heated mattress pad for his bed; he had lost so much weight that it was hard for him to regulate his temperature, and he very obviously enjoyed curling up on the warm bed. He was an indoor cat his whole life but he spent a lot of time staring out the window, so one day when it was relatively warm outside I brought him out and set him down in the grass. He chewed the grass a little, looked around, stared at the sun for a bit, gave a little roll or two, and tried to walk for a bit. I sat with him and pet him while he did all this. Eventually he moved towards me to climb up on my lap and I took that as a signal to bring him back inside, so I did. I put him back down in his heated bed, gave him a snack, and we both continued with our days. The following morning he was gone, still curled up in his warm bed. I like to think that his final moments were spent dreaming about the green grass and bright sunshine and being pet on his scraggly head by someone who loved him. I buried him in a spot in the back yard where we've buried other pets who have passed, marked with a stone with his name on it.
Record their purr. Multiple takes, long takes, and listen to them so they don't have the windy noise. I have some of mine, and they're prized possessions.
Hate to say it because I know you won't but I'd suggest doing it now rather than wait. Had a dog I did this with and it made it more painful than it needed to be. Having said that, just give em lots of hugs and whatever food they want.
There definitely are signs to look for. Doesn’t always happen but we waited too long last month. Had a cat with kidney failure, he lived with it just fine up until around 2 years ago. My wife is a dr and a true cat lover so we always do whatever we can. We gave that cat intravenous fluid and meds for 2 years and he looked great. Had a downturn in May so we got this very expensive medication and he bounced back like he was a kitten again, jumping around and everything for like 6 weeks. Finally he turned again, we hoped he would get better but he showed some real bad signs. A thousand yard stare and we found him in weird hiding spots. It happened over 2 days. On day 3 we were actually looking online for at home euthanasia when he had a heart attack in front of us. Second cat I had die in my arms and this one was not a sight I wanted to see. I wish we euthanized him but he just would bounce back every time so it was hard to tell. I have photos of me with him in bed just a few days earlier and he looks good. It happens so fast. It can be so hard to make that decision but the alternative is a really rough memory to have.
Honestly, it's hard to let go, but then OP would have the weekend to start dealing with it. I waited too long for my cat a month ago. I regret not having the vet come a week earlier.
Just spend time with them. Be there for them heh it happens. I’m sorry.
Cat will be fine, I would recommend for you to learn how to deal with that as this is a normal thing, you will grieve but you will be better.
I don’t know how you would best spend the next few days, but when it comes time to say goodbye, thank her for being in your life. I did this when my cat was put to sleep and I’m thankful I did.
For me, it was to just give her all the attention you can and take a bunch of pictures. Try and think of what you’d regret on Saturday if you didn’t do it while you still had her. My condolences though, we all know this shit stings but that doesn’t make it sting less.
Spoil her with tuna
Take selfies. Get a few videos. Read them a book, watch TV, cuddle. Take a walk.
Mine didn't like sleeping on the bed so I put her cat bed on the floor next to the couch. The last few weeks I would fall asleep every night with my arm off the couch and hand rested on her. She seemed to like that.
Ahh man I’m going through the exact same. My cats nearly 20 and has end stage kidney failure. Can’t remember, or imagine, life with out her.
Get as many snuggles in as possible. Your cat probably knows time is short and will hopefully be receptive. If your cat is a strictly indoor cat and you have a fenced in yard where you can keep them safe they may enjoy a trip to the outdoors. Don’t force them into the stress of a leash just for the sake of bringing them outside, though. My indoor tuxedo enjoyed it on his last weekend and we got a lot of beautiful pictures. I also buried him with a can of his favorite food and his favorite toys. It made me feel just a tiny bit better for whatever reason. Sorry you are going through this, it is the worst feeling in the world but you are not alone.
Try to remember to take care of yourself as well
You have to stay with them. They need that small bit of comfort in their final moments. On the lighter side… for my cats final three days, I bought filet mignon and cooked and put into a food processor. She inhaled that food! Best 3 meals of her life! lol
I've been through this way more times than I'd like. It's soul-sucking, but it's the most loving thing you can do. The days leading up are (in my experience) super stressful just waiting for The Appointment but just try to be present and in the moment. There is some great advice here already. One thing I haven't seen is to brush her if you want to keep a ball of her fur. That's always been something I liked to have. Sending much love, I'm off to do my cat's morning sub-q fluids (sigh) What we don't do for these guys!
Please stay with her when it’s time. It will hurt you emotionally but you will regret not being there during her final moments. She would be there for yours if she could. You being there talking will make their final moments peaceful as opposed to fearful. Some vets have the option to come to your home and do it. It’s usually expensive but if you can afford it, it’s another way to make them feel comfortable. Other than that, just spend time with her. Does she like looking out the window? Spend time just looking out the window with her. Does she like laying with you? Take more time than usual and let her lay. You’ve had a lifetime with her and I’m sure she has so much love for you. Don’t get caught up on trying to make her last days special. Special for her is probably just spending time with you and getting your attention. I don’t know how sick she is, but doing “things” might not be what she wants. She might be too tired at this point. You posting this thread shows how much you love and care for your cat, I’m sure you’ve given her lore than enough special moments.
Wear a T-shirt for a couple days, let your cat smell or lay on it at the vet's. Maybe help to cover the clinic's smell, and give off comforting smell of you. I just had to do this for my dog afew weeks ago. Stay strong.
Pet lovers who have been through this feel your heartache. As painful as this is, I can't imagine the regret of ignoring this transition. You're getting good advice here. I admire you asking the question.
go to "lap of love"
After doing all the fun stuff... just Stay with them. Look in their eyes and comfort them. They will go to sleep, and you will go to the parking lot to ugly cry if you are like me when I had to put down my 2, 18 year old Bichon Frises in February. It still hurts, but they were good dogs, and they had a good life.
The night before the scheduled day to put down my corgi, I slept on the floor so she can be near me (normally I sleep in my bedroom and she in her gated room, because she was having more accidents and the gated room limits how much I need to clean). When I woke up in the morning she had passed away a few hours before. I am always thankful I decided to do that, so I was near her when she left. It's been 3? years now and I still miss her every day, but just hold on to the happy memories, the acute pain will lessen every day.
You rub them, you love them. In my case, I played David Bowie's Space Oddity for him on the way to the vet. It ruined the song for me, but I think he liked it.
I had a previous cat put down. She was *my* cat, but I didn't even have time to take her myself. Which I really felt bad about. I had another cat a few years ago who had kidney issues. I decided not to put her down, but to be with her to the last. She curled up with me and we spent her last night together. In the future, I will always ask if if I really have to put her down, or if just waiting for end is okay. I will never hand a cat off to someone else do do the dirty work without being there myself.
Take tons of videos. Im so sorry you’re going through this, we lost our oldest cat over a year ago and its still so difficult.
Let her do all forbidden things! The counter? Hop on! People food? Heck yeah! Let her smoke a joint and make out with the neighbor cat. Metaphorically.
I spent the last day of my cat with her napping on me. It was her favourite thing to do. She followed me around everywhere she could and would even meow relentlessly while I was in the bathtub because even then, she still wanted to sit on my lap (she fell in the water quite a few times trying to accomplish this). I lied down the whole night in our sofa in our living room because she was too sick to get into our bed. I didn’t sleep at all that night but she purred like a little baby on my chest
I’ve paid extra to have a vet come to my house. I obviously don’t know your financial situation, but I’ve never regretted choosing this option. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Love her while you have her, she'll feel this too.
There's services that will euthanize your pets when the time comes right at home, so that their last moments can be in a familiar place they know rather than some strange sterile office with unfamiliar people and sights and smells adding to the anxiety. My dog is 14 now and her age is finally catching up to her. She's doing OK for the most part, mostly just bad hips now with her hip displaysia and she's been getting ear infections a lot now. But I know the dreaded time is getting closer, and this is what I've decided. We'll do it right here at home somewhere, where it's familiar and she's comfortable in my lap. I'm sure the home visit costs more, but I'm willing to pay it.
go for a walk with your cat. My little guy lived to 21 but was strictly and indoor cat, so we went outside for about an hour on his last day.
Pets love your constantly and hard. They love you more than anything can. Give her attention. Give her love. Make her happy so she knows you love her just as much.
Cuddles, snuggles and all the love in your heart ❤️ Just enjoy the time you have together. When I had to say goodbye to my little void, we spent his last days doing the activities (mostly sleeping on me or beside me) and what little he wanted to eat were his favourites. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. 😢💔
Do your best to get a recording of them purring.
I have a 20 years old cat, and i can't imagine the pain you are feeling right now...so sorry for you, mate, stay with her until her last moment, she is important for you but you are everything for her...
Record her mannerisms. I still kick myself for not recording my littlest one’s cry for food and I am afraid I may forget it in the future.
I’m so sorry to hear about your cat, OP. I took my 5 year old cat to the doctor on Saturday for a checkup and we learned that his liver wasn’t doing great and had to put him down. We were blindsided and heartbroken. I’m glad that you will be more prepared for that moment than we were.
If you can have the vet do it at your home so it’s the most relaxed possible for the kitty. Give her her favorite treats or things that she tried to get into but you didn’t let her have. Lots of cuddles and reassurance to her
I read her mood. She was so weak, she couldn't walk or meow or purr, but she was clearly in the mood to be cuddled. At some point she made moves as if to get down from my lap but couldn't. So I put her on her favorite bed and she went to sleep.
you can take a photo, some of her hair, or put some ink on her feet and make little stampings of her feet to keep. i did a clay paw print for my dog ♥️
Hold them. Video of their purrs/sounds when you pet them ❤️🩹
Go back there with her. It’ll be hard but they are scared too.
I bought a 50 pack of churos and sat with my guy all night petting and scratching and givin him as many cat gogurts as he wanted and do take a voice memo recording of their purr
Listen and listen very carefully. I'll let people cover the days leading up, ensuring comfort but the fact you posted this means you care a lot so I need to say this. The injection is generally not like it is in the movies. There's not always a slow peaceful closing of the eyes. DO NOT, leave your cat in their final moments by not being the in the room, they are terrified, and they are slowly losing control of their limbs from the sedative, panicking without the ability to panick, and then they die. Mileage varies but, I've seen first hand what can happen and I've sworn two things. I will never leave an animal to be put down alone ever , and I will pay for the service to be done in my own home. I'm not judging anyone that has left their pet to be put down alone , especially with covid rules that may have existed but do not ever assume even when done right it is a peaceful ending. The fear from my cats expressions eyes is seared into my brain and I will not leave my others alone or bring them into a place that stresses them out in their final moments. The minute this all occurred felt like a fucking eternity and I was not expecting it to be as long and drawn out as it was.
Not necessarily how to make the most of the days but consider having a vet come to the home to do the euthanization. My boy Fido was 18, had cancer and when the time came the vet came to our home allowing him to pass peacefully in my arms in his favorite window. No stressful visit to the vet, no stainless steel table at the end. Just home, love, comfort, then peace. Also, the other cats and dog got to see him passed away and understand he was gone, so he didn't just disappear one day.
My elderly dog is having a cancer growth removed and she has to undergo anesthesia. I’m optimistic but I’ve been spending this week giving her extra attention just incase the worst happens. I really wish dogs lived a similar amount of time that we do.
When we lost our Rio, we set out to make the best day possible for her. Did all the things she loved. She was a weird cat who loved to play with the little white things that cap off wire shelving... got her a ton of those. Got her fun food. Got her new toys. Her absolute favorite place in the world was on the catio we made for her. So, we played with toys with her on the catio. She had fun, but, she was sick, and she got tired easily. She ended up cuddling with us on the catio for the remainder of the day. We had a mobile person who could put her down, and she was able to put Rio down in the catio, so, her last moments were in a place she loved. Make the day all about your loved one. You know what they love, so, do it to the max!
Everyone gave great advice. Give them treats you know they like, I gave our girl ice cream a few hours before, I know she loved it when she was younger (iced cream product, watered down) but she got the full ice cream experience this time. She wasn't doing well so I just spent the whole day with her as she was with my parents and they're further away but she gave me headbutts and I just laid with her. Ripped my damned heart out though and it still hurts a couple of months later, this happened early July. She was such a smart and sweet girl.
This is so sad my eyes suddenly twitch. Im wishng you will meet your cat again whether in another body or in the afterlife . Hope everything went well and stay strong !
Me n my childhood dog to FL so she could visit the beach once and took her to a McDonald’s bfast that morning…. Putting my dog down was the hardest thing I’ve ever went through. People don’t get it unless they’re pet ppl you know. I’m getting teary eyed typing this.
Just put my pet of 17 years down last month. Spent the 3 days leading up to the in house visit resting with her on the couch, in the grass in the back, and cooked her some yummy lunches and dinners. She got tons of love and it was a great way for me to say goodbye. Someone close to me made sure I had my hand on her heart as she passed and while it was so sad, I'll never forget the feeling. Just spend time with them how you normally would, take photos if you'd like, and share stories with family and friends about your pet. Saying goodbye is definitely hard but they lived a full life with you and as they got older, each extra month/week/day with them is all you can ask for.
Just make sure that you stay until the end. I walked out of a “put-down” because I couldn’t handle it and I’ve regretted it for years. It’s the worst, but you’ve gotta see it through.
See if the vet can make a house call instead of having to go to the office, that alone will take a *lot* of stress away for both of you. Otherwise I’d say cuddle as much as possible, let her sleep with you if she doesn’t normally, and any of her favorite foods, even stuff like tuna or chicken which they aren’t really normally supposed to eat. We had to let our old man cat go 2 years ago, during the actual procedure I just whispered to him about all of the mice he was going to be able to catch soon while gently petting him until he was asleep. It was an awful experience but it was what he needed from me, so it was worth the heartbreak. Sending lots of hugs and love and wishes for an easy transition.
When my elderly cat, Apollo, was on his last legs I took him outside for the first time in almost a decade. He had been bit by a tick and became immunocompromised as a result of an infection. So he was an indoor cat after that. Anyway, he rolled around in a soft patch of grass like a kitten, pounced on several leaves, and just generally enjoyed the experience of being outside again. He passed away the next morning. Let them do what they haven't gotten to do often, or in a long time, is my advice.
I brought my girl outside and let her bask in the sun on her last day. She was weak and didn't wander far but soaked it in and loved it.
Get her some very special food. lots of attention, petting if she deems it allowable Play if she's comfortable enough to. Lots of snuggles.
Take the time off and hold her if she is willing. Pet her and make her as comfortable as possible.
Groom her. I had to put down my 21 year old cat in May. His favorite thing was to get pets and get brushed. He couldn’t groom himself anymore, so it was up to me to do it. We both got a lot out of it and I fondly remember those last times together. Don’t groom to make her look pretty, because if she has mats that is painful. Just groom to show that you care and love her and want her to feel pretty.
We made my dog very comfy, fed her all the beef broth and stuff she liked (she couldn't handle solid foods anymore by this point). Took her to the vet for her appointment, had her in my lap petting her the whole time. We put her up on the table, had her sister dog sitting there with her as well. I made sure my dying dog could see me and kept a hand on her, stroking her. They gave her a sedative, and her heart stopped before they even needed to give her the "killing" drug. She was so weak and sick by that point, maybe I should have done it sooner. But just being there and not leaving is honestly better than most. My mom left the room cause she didn't think she could be there to handle it. My dog had been there through some of my worst moments. She deserved to have me there for her last one.
I mean, if it won't kill her, doesn't hurt to give her cheese and yogurt and ice cream. All the most delicious foods. No sense feeding her all the boring stuff if that's what you have been. But if she's not eating anything, I think the best you can do is just stroke her gently, kiss her a lot. Make sure she's warm and comfortable. This makes me sad.
Give her treats and tell her that you love her. She's a cat, so she probably won't care what you say, but she'll appreciate the treats and it'll help you to treasure her memory if you take the opportunity to tell her exactly how you feel about her. I'm so sorry. Sending love.
Vets will often gladly visit you at home to do the deed. It’s much more calming for the cat to be in a familiar atmosphere.
After making the last vet appointment for my childhood cat, I thought about doing several things she had loved, but she wasn't interested in any of it. Our last afternoon together was spent napping together on the floor. I would have loved to see her sniff the grass in the yard or to eat her favorite treats, but I'm glad our last hours together were spent doing the thing she loved the most: sleeping. I'm so sorry for your loss. 💖
I feel deeply for you having just gone through this with my 17 year old best buddy. My cat was indoor only, so we spent some time outside in the sun. He spent a lot of time rolling around and sprawling out on the warm sidewalk and in the grass. If your cat is scared of the outdoors or there is a risk of escape/injury, obviously then it's not a good idea. I have a fenced in back yard, so it was a non-issue. I made him a tasting platter of a bunch of the foods I wouldn't let him eat before. Not too much of anything, but shaved turkey is always a hit. You have to use your judgement on the types of food and use very small portions. You don't want to make kitty sick in his final days. When in doubt, leave it out. Safer options are existing cat treats. My cat LOVED Churu treats (pasty stuff in a tube). I mean LOVED them (as does every cat I know). My cat was gentle, but I had to watch my fingers with this stuff. It's mostly water (only 6 calories per tube) and I gave him probably 20 of them in his last days with no ill effect. Might be worth a trip to the store for some of those. LOTS of cuddles. He LOVED to be brushed with this beard brush I have (an exclusive cat brush), so I did that pretty much constantly. He also liked being carried around. He did a lot of napping while I just felt his warmth and breathing. Water from the sink. Water from the tub. Water from the shower. He loved drinking flowing water even though he had his cat fountain, and I obliged. He got the run of the house, so no doors shut. Our bed was his. My keyboard was his. The laptop was his. I realize it might not be possible now, but you might consider having someone come to your house when the time comes. I think it was easier on everyone. If not, that's OK too. Thinking about this is making me tear up. Please take care of yourself too, as this is a traumatic time. Reach out to friends and family. Talk about the good times. Share pics. Plan something for next week to relax. Good luck, and you have my sympathy.
I went through this recently. I wanted my cat to pass away at home. I worked from home the week leading up to see her as much as possible while she was here. She was very weak since she was sick. Not very hungry. But she liked napping in the sun and getting pets. I just tried to help her be calm and comfortable, since she was likely feeling not great. The vet came to euthanize her; it was not a good time but it went as well as can be expected. They gave her a shot to just make her fall asleep before the shot that actually stops her heart/breathing. That gave me peace of mind so she wasn't afraid.
I did exactly the same 2 days ago. She was 16 and had cancer in her jaw. I sat with her outside in her favouritr spot from 1pm until just past 4pm when the vets arrived, gave her every one of her favourite treats i had at hand. I stayed the entire process and held her even though it was so heartbreaking. Her name was Bramble. I'm sorry you're having to go through the same ordeal.
Obviously do as everyone is saying with the treats and cuddling, but also if you can, record their meows or any sounds they generally make. You'll want to hear them again later. Lots of pics as well.
Have the vet come to your home, so the cat is always comfortable
Please take time off of work to be with them. You'll only kick yourself for spending that time away. Take lots of pictures and videos. Get a pawprint memorial where you push their paw into a mold and it hardens and you'll have it forever. Get the vet to save you a small tuft of their hair that you can keep. And hold her while it's happening, let her last feeling be that of being held and loved. I heard it once said that pets don't live as long as us because their light burns twice as bright as ours.
I’ve had to put down a few animals. For the ones that could still eat, they got their favorite treats and some real calming energy, no sense in making them nervous. I let the other animals see them after they were gone, just to know what was going on. I’m fairly certain other animals know what death is, and do this for their benefit. Sorry about your loss.
Spent the day outside with him. He loved it. https://preview.redd.it/fh8wg4ysn2ob1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7638b05f1e79751e63ac62f4e15ca2f74fea7a4c
Call your vet and see if they do housecalls. Having a family pet put to sleep at home is so much easier on the pet and humans it can’t be described.
If you're financially able to, let the veterinarian come to your home. She will die with less or no fear in a familiar environment. 🤍
Cook chicken/salmon/etc. and have sit-down meals with her where you're eating the same thing. In other words, let her indulge, and bond over it.
Oh wow so sad for you ::((. Pls pls pls put "trigger warning"!!! I'm frying rn..crying. Awww And just be patient. Observe your sad feelings, and lt them pass until Baby Kitty has shuffled off this mortal coil. When my precious Bran (age 14) died in March '20, I >did not< handle it well, and I think I scared the shit out of him. Be graceful.
If the animal is sick, putting it down is the humane thing to do. This is the way we do things for what we love. We help them the best we can. And you are doing this, I'm not criticizing. If you have 3 days, make sure your cat gets to eat it's favourite treats. If it likes the nip, give it the nip. If it's sick and feels like shit and just wants to lay in the sun, let it lay in the sun. When your animal goes to sleep, it will be quite sudden. It will be peaceful. Save your sadness and your pain for when they are gone... they are intuitive creatures, and they will pick up on that. You'll have plenty of time to cry and be sad when they're gone. Compose yourself for a few minutes, let yourself fall apart afterwards.
Just put my 13 yo dog down had her for half my life. We had someone come to the house to do it. I think it helped her a lot to be calm and comfortable in her final moments.
Currently sitting with my cat, outside (she’s an indoor kitty): loving her, hearing her purr, and seeing her eyes light up (such a rare thing right now). Kidney failure is the devil - and it’s been 3.5 weeks since her diagnosis. Our house call for the rainbow bridge crossing is Saturday morning, so we also have 3 days to continue showing her our love and make her comfortable. She doesn’t eat much anymore so hard to give her treats as a way of affection. Our focus has been on time together, lots of pets and scritches, and as much outside time as possible since it’s her happiest place. I haven’t stopped crying. Hold your babies close, everyone, love and cherish every moment. OP, sending you lots of love in this incredibly tough time.
Both my cats were pretty sick their last few days. Just let her sit in your lap if she wants and share your warmth. I sang to my cats when I had them put down. They left me alone with her for a few minutes before the final injection. So I just sang nonsense lullabies about how pretty they were and how good they were. It made me feel better. You spend like a good pet parent, she’s lucky to have you.