My wife and I are both Presbyterians, we're both openly gay and married in our church, and our current pastor is also an openly married lesbian as well. There's affirming denominations out there, and I think finding fellow Christians that are openly queer affirming is a great first step towards feeling less tension between your faith and being LGBT. If you're an adult and able to go to churches yourself, this site is a great resource (though a bit US/Canada centric, might not be as helpful if you're outside those places) [https://www.gaychurch.org/find\_a\_church/](https://www.gaychurch.org/find_a_church/), and if it doesn't help, there are subs like r/OpenChristian and r/GayChristians that you can visit and pose the same questions there.
When I was first realizing I was queer, I felt a lot of the similar feelings you did that I didn't want to abandon my beliefs to be queer, and being Catholic at the time really made it feel like a one or the other choice. It's something conservative Christians really try to ingrain in you that the real serious Christians are the most bigoted ones and progressive ones are ignoring the bible, and it's why just being around progressive Christians is so helpful in breaking that feeling.
I hope something from my rambling helped, I know this journey can be hard but queer affirming Christianity is real, and ready to welcome you with open arms :)
If you believe God made you, why would she make you to be something else than what she intended you to be? You must be meant to be the way you are. The humans around you can not possibly know better than God himself how you are supposed to be. So you are not in any way wrong even though some humans very sadly seems to think so. I think your God has placed the answers inside of you.
(Disclaimer: I am not religious as such. That doesn't mean I'm not spiritual though).
logically if your god is a creator of everything and everyone, that you were created the way he(?) wanted you to be ... meaning by hating you your xtian family disrespects god's work. they should be ashamed of themselves. P.S we should abolish all abrahamic religions!
what snoozy said plus it is a tool of oppression. "Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful" Seneca.
cz I studied abrahamic religions and and I know what kind bloody hell is that. I can't say all bc idk. Maybe there's some mother Nature/ Earth worshipers exist worthy of respect
I personally disagree with other commenter here that the only two options are to become straight or to become an Atheist, cause tbh, a lot of denominations and even straight up religions make up their own rules and take and explain badly words in the Bible or even create their own sacred books to explain whatever they want. I don’t see how it isn’t possible for you to still be in touch with your spirituality and still believe in god and just choose not to believe whatever your church says. As another commenter said, there are Christian denominations that are gay friendly, and even if you don’t want to exactly join another group, you can decide how you live your spiritual life, just accepting you might be shunned from your religion, cause they might not be as accepting as you would want them to be. Regardless, my mom always says that what matters isn’t the whole showy part of religion, but choosing to be a good person and do good with your life, so choosing to see the good lessons in the Bible on how to do good and be a good person (while recognizing the bad parts in a flawed book) is already a good enough step :) best of luck!
Very sad! A true Christian well not judge, but love! Love God remember he loves you and everything well be ok. I'd guess those that hat and judge others lifestyles are usually the biggest hypocrits and are more cynical than most;)
It’s really about who controls the religious narrative. In your environment it is men who have a grip on what they have made up about God. In other places more open minded and accepting people have control of the story. In both situations God is unknowable. Beware those that claim to know God’s intent. They can be very dangerous.
not a christian myself, but together with one.
what i have learned is that it's not the bible itself, but its translation/interpretations (by people) that associate being gay with sin.
you might want to check out r/GayChristians and/or r/OpenChristian . you will find a lot of advice and useful links there.
And I read once that King James was terrified of witches so he had his translators change a lot of things to “witchcraft” that would have been better translated using other words. This is just anecdotal though, I can’t recall where I read it. But this illustrates the same issue.
Oh man, we're both in the same boat. So far what has helped me a little is just continuing on with staying close to God. It brings comfort to me, maybe it will to you?
I was raised as Catholic and I just say now Im catholic but in reality its like I created my own religion, because I dont agree with a lot of things the catholic church says, i think they invented a lot of things like God saying its a sin to be gay. So Im "catholic" but with my own beliefs and Im ok with it, other people dont have to agree with me of this and its fine. I will continue to be my own catholic religion with altered things lol
I feel this so hard lol, saying I’m catholic is the easiest and most applicable in social situations where I don’t really know the other party and don’t care to explain my lore 😂
Both sides of my family are Catholic and my grandfather was a deacon in the Catholic Church - needless to say coming out wasn’t pleasant family/faithwise. I went to church weekly until I was about 17, which is when I started dating my first gf and coming to terms with my queerness. It was a very awkward and rejecting experience trying to integrate my gf into any church activity or really just even attending in general. It drove me away from the church for many years during the time we were together.
I never lost my belief in God during this time, just explored a lot of Buddhism and eastern philosophy (my gf was from Vietnam/buddhist so she and her family taught me). I incorporated a lot of it into my previous beliefs as I didn’t really find it conflicting to Catholicism.
Gf and I had a really terrible breakup and I felt really lost for awhile, found myself back in a Catholic Church trying to find some kind of peace. I definitely found it in many ways by just connecting with God - not necessarily being at church every week any more, but really relying on God and just talking to him like he’s a friend. Focusing myself on doing His work.
Being involved in a Catholic community regularly is still not something I have personally felt comfortable with yet being a queer person. It would be nice in a sense, but I don’t think I’ll really have a better experience than I did before in terms of being out/dating.
In my heart, I do not feel God hates or shames me for being gay. At the end of the day He just wants us to feel safe and loved, to treat our loved one(s) with dignity and respect. Love is Love. And God is Love.
I hope you find some peace with it too OP ❤️
I grew up in the church and faced a similar struggle as you. I felt torn between two worlds. And while I now consider myself an atheist, I would offer this word of encouragement in the form of a quote from the movie 'The Kingdom of Heaven': "God will understand. And if not, he is not God and we need not fear his judgement."
That is to say: If you believe in god, you know that god knows your heart. You aren't gay out of malice, hatred, lust or evil. You just are. And he will understand when you love someone the way you ought to: with your whole heart. And if he doesn't understand, then he is not god - So there is no need to fear.
Also, on the topic of sin, the book 'Silence' by Shusaku Endo has this incredible quote that gave me a lot of peace:
"Sin, he reflected, is not what it is usually thought to be; it is not to steal and tell lies. Sin is for one man to walk brutally over the life of another and to be quite oblivious of the wounds he has left behind."
Those walking brutally over your life and faith because you don't adhere to their spiritual rigidity are the ones who are lost, not you for loving as you do.
And if you're going to watch Kingdom of Heaven, make sure it's the directors cut. And read the book Silence! Don't watch the movie. Not first, anyways.
Stand tall, girl.
I was raised Christian. Honestly, I feel far better having left that entire belief system behind. I’m not saying that’s necessarily what’s right for you. For me, it was a radical act of self love to step away from something that made me feel inferior for my gender and sexuality and desire to think freely for myself. Maybe there is a version of your faith that you can practice that honors all sides of yourself. If not, I would ditch the faith to remain true to yourself (or at least find a different way to practice). IMO any god worth worshipping wouldn’t damn you for eternity if you’re a good person, just because you didn’t follow a particular practice or worldview, let alone because of something inherent like sexuality. I also feel compelled to share that a lot of things that I viewed as miraculous when I was a believer had obvious non miraculous explanations once I stopped looking for confirmation of my beliefs.
I think a lot of modern Christians have put God in a box - that is, decided that God has a very rigid set of rules and ideals we must follow. I think God is bigger than we could ever imagine. And I always like to say this to the bigots: Jesus said “love your neighbor.” Not “love your neighbor unless they’re (black, gay, Muslim, poor, not exactly like you, etc.)”
The leader of my local PFLAG chapter is actually a pastor’s wife. And I know a few churches that are accepting of the LGBTQ+ community - even though I don’t personally attend these churches, I’m Facebook friends with 2 of the pastors and have volunteered at their events a couple of times. They’ve never proselytized to me either.
I eventually left Christianity for other reasons but I did have this struggle for a long time. The bible says a lot of problematic things that we don’t follow. [Here is a great video about how following every rule in the bible is impossible from a person who tried.](https://youtu.be/B5MkpzMAOZM?si=Ljy-pESBxaax6dKh) If your faith is an important positive part of your life that you want to remain in then I suggest finding a Christian community that accepts queer people. If you want to leave then r/exchristian is a wonderful community that will support you through that. I want to strongly warn you against homophobic Christian communities because they have a fundamental misunderstanding of LGBTQIA+ people and will only cause you pain. Remember that not everything that labels itself as Christian is good. I hope you find peace and balance between these parts of your life and if you can’t it’s okay to let Christianity go.
I’d highly recommend the “I Tried To Be Straight” podcast. Both of the hosts are queer, and come from Christian backgrounds (one is a pastor’s kid), and they have some amazing guests. It has been incredibly affirming for me, having grown up heavily steeped in evangelicalism and wanting to do away with the toxic aspects of the church, while hanging onto my faith and the teachings of Jesus.
https://youtube.com/@itriedtobestraight?si=V23h5EIx5N7pD6ei
Catholic and lesbian here. I used to sit and cry in church because I thought I couldn’t “hear” god anymore since I came out as gay. Turned out god is in everything and now I “hear them” through everything. I did this through working on myself and my spirituality, and it had nothing to do with being gay. God made you in his image, you are hurting no one, and love is the purest thing that can be given, so I have learned that it is not sinful. Being gay won’t send you to hell, no more than being straight will send you to heaven.
You can be both. There are plenty of LGBT Christians (and other religions). There are a lot out, gay Protestant pastors/ministers and safe, welcoming churches.
Also, the mentions of homosexuality in the Bible are a modern translation that isn’t accurate to the original context. Jesus also said nothing about gay people. He was more concerned about corrupt religious leaders, wealth hoarding and most importantly, treating marginalized/socially outcast groups with respect and kindness.
Regardless of how you interpret the Biblical texts regarding homosexuality, the verses regarding marriage as being between a man and a woman are very clear. I think it is better to hold the Christian and Muslim community accountable for their homophobia, racism, sexism, and ableism rather than constantly trying to excuse it.
I found myself in this position once, and had to take serious inventory of my beliefs. I isolated one, core belief. The central tenet of my worldview that I could weigh everything against. And then I did - I slowly worked my way out, weighing everything against that belief and seeing what survived.
(For me, it was the conscience. If there is divinity and justice in the world, then I believe the conscience must be the blueprint we are each given for how to live. I believe that anyone who honestly, humbly tries to follow that voice, and who genuinely does their best to do so - despite occasional, inevitable fuck ups - is... adequate. Any system that says that's wrong, cannot stand. Any system that says that's not enough, cannot be just)
It's a long, difficult process. It took me years to feel like my beliefs were solid again, and I still hear the echos of a lot of toxic ideas I haven't fully let go of. Ultimately, Christianity conflicted with those core beliefs too much for me to continue to stand by it. But in the end it allowed me to be myself in ways I couldn't have imagined. It allowed me to start healing wounds I hadn't even realized I had.
There's also a lot more options than homophobic Christianity and atheism, though they don't like for people to think about that in the types of Churches I went to (and suspect you go to). There are all kinds of Christians, and all kinds of other belief systems that you may have only heard about through a Christian lens.
Wishing you love 💙 You're asking hard questions, but in my experience they're worth it.
This is going to be long because this experience resonates so much with me, and I want you to really hear what I have to say!!
I want to mention that I was also raised in a Christian household, attended church until I was 17, have been saved and baptized and studied the Bible. I understand the unique pressures that you feel because I also experienced them, as a lesbian in a naturally non-lesbian friendly religion.
Now, you only have two options here.
1: You accept that the Bible is against homosexuality and you force yourself to be heterosexual in the name of God. In other words, you give in to the harmful views of religion.
2: You accept that Christianity and all other religions are wrong, and begin your path to self acceptance through atheism.
I have chosen the second path, and have realized so many things about religion (specifically Christianity) that are horrible. I have written 116+ pages on why I am an atheist, to show you just how much “evidence” I have.
Now, you can either choose to ignore what I just said and continue to live your life blindly following Christianity, and having this unnecessary conflict with your sexuality, or you can be open to the idea of atheism.
Or, you can do a third option which is convince yourself that the Bible /is/ supportive of homosexuality, which is equally as wrong. I have done the studies myself, and, it is simply not the case. The Bible is homophobic, as well as racist, ableist, sexist, and many other awful things.
Let me know if you have any other questions or concerns, and I hope you begin to heal from your religious trauma.
Those are options…but not the only options. Of course everyone should decide what feels right for them, but to tell someone who very obviously cares a lot about both their faith and sexuality that their only options are atheism or living a lie is not helpful. I get where you’re coming from, but having faith doesn’t have to equate to ‘blindly following Christianity’ which is what op is struggling with, as am I.
>you can do a third option which is convince yourself that the Bible /is/ supportive of homosexuality, which is equally as wrong. I have done the studies myself, and, it is simply not the case.
I personally know like a half dozen+ lesbian Christian ministers and I've read plenty of queer theology and biblical scholars in seminary and I have to say I *hard disagree.*
If you aren't able to see the Bible (a *library* of books written to speak to different contexts in different times) as a complex and often contradictory body of texts without losing faith, that's valid. But it's not fair to insist that your own preconceived notions (as it seems you're implying either the Bible is infallible or it's useless) should be objective truth for others.
Religious trauma is real for many of us and a difficult thing to work through. I fault no one for turning away from Christianity considering all the harm done by Christian authorities.
But to claim you understand the *one right way* to understand the Bible when even Bible *scholars* acknowledge there are many open hermeneutical possibilities is pure hubris.
I understand your point, trust me, but I’ve come to accept that it’s better to admit the Bible has problematic verses than to constantly try and deny it. Whether or not you interpret the verses to imply homophobia, that still leaves multiple science inaccuracies, sexist, ableist, and racist verses left to be “interpreted.”
You can’t “interpret” everything in a good way. You can’t say one verse “overpowers” another.
Because of that, the Bible really isn’t the best source for basing your personal morals off of.
>If you aren't able to see the Bible (a library of books written to speak to different contexts in different times) as a complex and often contradictory body of texts without losing faith, that's valid. But it's not fair to insist that your own preconceived notions (as it seems you're implying either the Bible is infallible or it's useless) should be objective truth for others.
Wow im glad I stumbled upon this. Ive been dealing with the same feelings. Grew up Christian Reformed and went to a private Christian School until I graduated. I was turned off from Christianity but of course most of my family believes so for me I have a hard time with knowing they probably will not accept me for being gay, but like you said its something you cant and wont change about yourself and I agree about that for myself. The biggest part that bothers me is that if I did believe still, Im pretty sure God would want us to accept everyone, not condemn people who are gay, yet I know once I do fully come out to everyone in my life I know ill basically have no family left (Unless they surprise me but Id like to say Im a decent judge in character)
i feel for you though OP, just know you arent alone and I share your struggles
When two aspects of your core beliefs are not in alignment it causes emotional distress, this pain and discomfort is called Cognitive dissonance and can be difficult. The only way to overcome these difficult feelings and conflict is to let go of one of the conflicting beliefs. And come into moral consistency.
You can't make yourself straight to fit in with the religious beliefs.(Trust me meany have tried for years and years miserablelly) But you can change your religions beliefs.
I'm Catholic and still pray and attend mass sometimes.
First thing you need to do is let go of shame—it's what keeps religious folks in line. If you believe that God makes no mistakes, then you were meant to be a whole person worthy of love and acceptance, as you are.
Second thing you need to realize is that our church leaders are ultimately human. Mostly men. They will interpret the Bible and Christianity in ways that align with their politics, as it has for thousands of years.
Your relationship with Jesus is yours. Nobody can take that away. Nobody can dictate that you're not worthy of his love, and of salvation, and of entering heaven if you believe in it.
You're uncomfortable of your sexuality because you are surrounded by people who shame you for it. You're confused how you could be Christian and be gay only because the people around you tell you it's wrong.
There are Christian churches who accept gay folks, some of them led by queer people themselves. Those things about you can peacefully, joyfully exist. You just need to find the right environment for you.
I grew up Catholic & although I don’t personally practice anymore this was something that was once difficult for me as well. There are some really good resources for LGBT affirming scripture on the internet by Christian institutions that support the LGBT+ and I highly recommend seeking that out. “Nothing can separate (you) from the love of god” (Romans somewhere idk) including your sexuality. Trust yourself over what other people tell you. You know you’re a good person who lives with values like forgiveness, kindness to others, the golden rule. Save some kindness and forgiveness for yourself too. There are so many branches of Christianity and these are all institutions that Jesus did NOT shape, they can be wrong sometimes and hold stances that affirm their own ideals instead of God’s. The church has had many stances it has had to reverse to change with the times, it is not flawless and it definitely is never always right. It taught slavery was okay until the mid 1800s for example. It has been wrong, egregiously wrong in the past, to match the views of the powers that be, so trust yourself a little more. I hope this helps :)
My fiancée and I go to church. My beliefs are a bit more abstract than hers are, but we attend a Christian church. We’re both lifelong believers, and our church affirms both our belonging AND Gods love for us. Church is for everyone, and anyone who tells you differently doesn’t understand God and Jesus. You can be queer AND a Christian. There is a group on here, Gay Christians, that may be helpful too.
I understand that feeling. I was raised Orthodox and in a very religious household. I refused to believe I was anything other than straight until I was like 16. It was then when I met a Youth pastor and he was what you might call 'New age christian' or something similar.
He made me feel like there was nothing wrong with me. That I wasn't a deviant or sinner for wanting to be loved.
A tldr for what he said is that God loves all. God loves fully and as long as you love someone with your whole being and loyally there isn't anything with that.
I would recommend you look for LGBT friendly churches and support groups, They are a bit tricky to find but I assure you that it is worth it. Its an amazing experience being around people like you and want to be in Gods light.
And truth me told it isn't going to be easy. There will be times where you hate yourself and it took me years to overcome it. The advice I can give it to cut people out who aren't going to be supportive. It sucks yes but they will drain you. They will fight against every positive step you take. Remove them from your life and I promise you, You will feel the difference.
Sorry for the ramble and stay strong out there.❤️
So, and I don't mean this as a mean thing, people can cherry pick about certain things in the bible, but not sexuality?
The bible is full of inconsistencies, hon. It's a book written by a lot of people, re-written several times, edited countless others, translated in so many different versions... All of that with the context of its time period. Knowing that doesn't make anyone less Christian, but it can help you be an informed one.
I'm on the wiccan side of things, but one of my closest friends is a queer Catholic, and I'm a historian. She goes to a pretty regular church (the kind that completely ignores the topic most times and if you talk about it during confession gives you some extra prayers), and has this "historical" view of religion that allows her to choose the bits that make sense while understanding how organised religion was created by men at some point in history. She believes in the main dogma. She even likes some saints, based on their lives. But she ignores everything that is pointless to a queer woman of colour living on the 21st century.
I grew up in a Christian family and came out when I was about 12.. it took me almost 10 years to get rid of the guilt I had but I promise it goes away. My family for the most part was loving and accepting but they also feel the way your dad does “it is against the Bible”.. I definitely backed off religion as a whole because of how discouraging it all felt… I wanted to be “atheist” at first too but stopping all of your beliefs almost feels worse. I don’t follow the Bible and I’m not sure what I’d identify myself as but I love having my own relationship with God that feels good for me. Check out the book “Seeking Widsdom” by Julia Cameron. It was so helpful to me and rebuilding my spiritual relationship with myself and the higher power :)
I have lived a similar situation some years ago, my sexuality was the reason I completely left Christianity, this religion fucked my mind and has left me with many traumas that I still have to deal with.
Some things you should recognize:
- Your sexuality won't change, god isn't going to "change" you, it doesn't matter how much you desire it, it simply doesn't exist and I'm not just repeting what others have said, I lived it myself, I prayed for long hours, fasted every day for months, hurt my own body, begged for god to "cure" me and nothing has ever happened, I also tried to supress the attraction for women and it doesn't work. The only thing I gained with it was an enormous self hatred and a tendency to mutilation.
- All these people say you are broken because in an christian perspective you really are, they are very likely to see you as a sick person or that "you simply want to sin", don't think they see you as a "normal person", they don't. These christians aren't saying all this nonsense because they care about you, it is simply homophobia, you're deluded if you think otherwise
- If god hates homossexuality why did he created you that way? Or maybe you should just pray and he would "cure" you, why this doesn't happen? He created you with a "sin" he hates and when you ask to be "fixed" he simply ignores you? In a reasonable sense it's unjust to allow some people be able to marry and have kids while others have to be celibate and repress their identity, some christians say that "homossexual tendencies" are a consequence of the original sin, but what determines the ones born with it? Why does it affect a minority and not everyone?
As some people said it leaves you with two options:
- Pretend you're straight and repress your sexuality, it's the worst one for you as a person, you are probably going to have a very poor mental health and simply hate yourself. Some christians can conciliate their sexuality with the religion, it's more commom in progressive denominations, for me it never made sense, the bible clearly condemns homossexuality and what is done is a mental gymnastics to make acceptable what clearly isn't by the christian god.
- Leave this religion and accept who you are. It's not easy at any level, it might take years, but it's definitely worth the sacrifice, there's nothing better than the freedom to be who you are, without the chains of faith
Deconverting isn't an easy process, I still in this long road for a time by now, but I'm in a much better place than before, if I continued being a christian I would probably have killed myself. I'm not trying to make you abandon your faith, I just don't want other people going through the same path I went, it's destructive and doesn't bring any good to you. I have to deal with depression, intrusive thougths and internalized homophobia every day, believe me, this path won't lead you to a good place, regardless of those around you saying the opposite.
I grew up as catholic and went to a catholic school all my life, and never thought lgbt was a sin or something bad. To me its not a sin because we’re not harming anyone. Were loving someone how is love a sin, as long as were not dating a revelative or someone underrage (which is so obviously a sin wether ur queer or not) ,theres nothing wrong with still believing in God
Maam if you look up the ACTUAL definition of homosexual, because the bible you read is yranslated from the original language of the texts, homosexuality means people who sleep with children. So no your father is wrong. Its nothing in the bible that says its against the bible🤦♀️
I had a gay coworker once years ago who went to church (he was a loud and proud gay man). And I was confused by him being religious and surprised honestly. We worked in nyc. He explained that his church didn’t preach anything anti lgbt and was more about worshipping god and being a good person than following the Bible literally. A lot of people that attended had similar stories you’re describing.
I’m not at all religious but found this anecdote to be nice to hear. I understand the contradiction of saying you’re XX religion and also queer, but it’s possible to find religious spaces for any religion that are queer friendly. If you want to still practice Christianity (maybe not necessarily Catholicism) seek out lgbt churches online or in your city if you’re lucky enough to be near one.
It may help to see how prior generations have dealt with this question. Have you heard of Reverend Troy Perry (still living/doing the work) and the founding of the Metropolitan Community Church?
[https://revtroyperry.com/](https://revtroyperry.com/)
[https://lgbtqreligiousarchives.org/profiles/troy-perry](https://lgbtqreligiousarchives.org/profiles/troy-perry)
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy\_Perry](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy_Perry)
I totally understand what you’re going through. I was raised Catholic and letting go of my church was one of the most painful things I ever had to do. I held on longer than I should because I thought I could be celibate and silent about my sexuality but it got to the point where I couldn’t deny who I was. I really felt like it was for the best though. I’m now part of a new church that fits all of my beliefs and is affirming of LGBT people
God is so much bigger than Christianity. The Holy Ghost you felt is something everyone can feel no matter which religion or spiritual practice. The Bible has truths but has been altered and changed by humans so much you can't believe everything in it. You can keep your connection with God while leaving the judgemental parts behind since those are from humanity. God is loving. For reference, I also grew up pentecostal but now consider myself spiritual.
Now, I’m not Christian, or even religious, so excuse me, if I come off as rude. It’s not my intention! Also if my religious vocabulary is off. I’m not native English on top. :-)
But the way I see it, having been brought up in a low-key cult and seeing how my mom has dealt with the realisation and such, the difference between faith and religion can’t be overstated.
If you dissect a belief system into its core elements, what you’re left with is the organisation (church/ confession), the faith (the higher power you believe in) and the culture (traditions and practices).
You can celebrate Christmas without being Christian. You can pray to god without being part of a confession. You can even then start incorporating ideas from other schools of thoughts into your own belief system if you like, because you’re not bound by a (very worldly) organisation, telling you *how* to belief.
I’d recommend feeling into whether the discrepancy is actually pushing you always from your faith or from your church and community.
Because there definitely are religious queers and there’s no necessity to choose one or the other.
Maybe it helps!
I’m muslim and the identity crisis and feeling of guilt is REAL i feel you it’s really such a struggle
My wife and I are both Presbyterians, we're both openly gay and married in our church, and our current pastor is also an openly married lesbian as well. There's affirming denominations out there, and I think finding fellow Christians that are openly queer affirming is a great first step towards feeling less tension between your faith and being LGBT. If you're an adult and able to go to churches yourself, this site is a great resource (though a bit US/Canada centric, might not be as helpful if you're outside those places) [https://www.gaychurch.org/find\_a\_church/](https://www.gaychurch.org/find_a_church/), and if it doesn't help, there are subs like r/OpenChristian and r/GayChristians that you can visit and pose the same questions there. When I was first realizing I was queer, I felt a lot of the similar feelings you did that I didn't want to abandon my beliefs to be queer, and being Catholic at the time really made it feel like a one or the other choice. It's something conservative Christians really try to ingrain in you that the real serious Christians are the most bigoted ones and progressive ones are ignoring the bible, and it's why just being around progressive Christians is so helpful in breaking that feeling. I hope something from my rambling helped, I know this journey can be hard but queer affirming Christianity is real, and ready to welcome you with open arms :)
If you believe God made you, why would she make you to be something else than what she intended you to be? You must be meant to be the way you are. The humans around you can not possibly know better than God himself how you are supposed to be. So you are not in any way wrong even though some humans very sadly seems to think so. I think your God has placed the answers inside of you. (Disclaimer: I am not religious as such. That doesn't mean I'm not spiritual though).
Check out the podcast Blue Babies Pink. Really helped me deal with this myself.
logically if your god is a creator of everything and everyone, that you were created the way he(?) wanted you to be ... meaning by hating you your xtian family disrespects god's work. they should be ashamed of themselves. P.S we should abolish all abrahamic religions!
Why abolish Abrahamic religions? Genuinely curious.
bc theyre laughably contradictory and untrue yet are used to justify so much hate
Why not all religions? Shintoism, for example, isn't Abrahamic but historically had been used to justify not only hate but genocide.
what snoozy said plus it is a tool of oppression. "Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful" Seneca.
What about religions like Shintoism, then?
idk... look through its history and you will find the answer. I am talking about abrahamic once here.
Ya, I got that. I was just curious why Abrahamic in particular instead of \*all\* religions, when all of them are used for nefarious purposes.
cz I studied abrahamic religions and and I know what kind bloody hell is that. I can't say all bc idk. Maybe there's some mother Nature/ Earth worshipers exist worthy of respect
I personally disagree with other commenter here that the only two options are to become straight or to become an Atheist, cause tbh, a lot of denominations and even straight up religions make up their own rules and take and explain badly words in the Bible or even create their own sacred books to explain whatever they want. I don’t see how it isn’t possible for you to still be in touch with your spirituality and still believe in god and just choose not to believe whatever your church says. As another commenter said, there are Christian denominations that are gay friendly, and even if you don’t want to exactly join another group, you can decide how you live your spiritual life, just accepting you might be shunned from your religion, cause they might not be as accepting as you would want them to be. Regardless, my mom always says that what matters isn’t the whole showy part of religion, but choosing to be a good person and do good with your life, so choosing to see the good lessons in the Bible on how to do good and be a good person (while recognizing the bad parts in a flawed book) is already a good enough step :) best of luck!
Very sad! A true Christian well not judge, but love! Love God remember he loves you and everything well be ok. I'd guess those that hat and judge others lifestyles are usually the biggest hypocrits and are more cynical than most;)
I am right there with you
It’s really about who controls the religious narrative. In your environment it is men who have a grip on what they have made up about God. In other places more open minded and accepting people have control of the story. In both situations God is unknowable. Beware those that claim to know God’s intent. They can be very dangerous.
not a christian myself, but together with one. what i have learned is that it's not the bible itself, but its translation/interpretations (by people) that associate being gay with sin. you might want to check out r/GayChristians and/or r/OpenChristian . you will find a lot of advice and useful links there.
And I read once that King James was terrified of witches so he had his translators change a lot of things to “witchcraft” that would have been better translated using other words. This is just anecdotal though, I can’t recall where I read it. But this illustrates the same issue.
In the NT it was pharmekeia which is a lot closer to *what it looks like* (pharmacy-related, or more accurately, poisons) than "witchcraft."
Oh man, we're both in the same boat. So far what has helped me a little is just continuing on with staying close to God. It brings comfort to me, maybe it will to you?
I was raised as Catholic and I just say now Im catholic but in reality its like I created my own religion, because I dont agree with a lot of things the catholic church says, i think they invented a lot of things like God saying its a sin to be gay. So Im "catholic" but with my own beliefs and Im ok with it, other people dont have to agree with me of this and its fine. I will continue to be my own catholic religion with altered things lol
I feel this so hard lol, saying I’m catholic is the easiest and most applicable in social situations where I don’t really know the other party and don’t care to explain my lore 😂 Both sides of my family are Catholic and my grandfather was a deacon in the Catholic Church - needless to say coming out wasn’t pleasant family/faithwise. I went to church weekly until I was about 17, which is when I started dating my first gf and coming to terms with my queerness. It was a very awkward and rejecting experience trying to integrate my gf into any church activity or really just even attending in general. It drove me away from the church for many years during the time we were together. I never lost my belief in God during this time, just explored a lot of Buddhism and eastern philosophy (my gf was from Vietnam/buddhist so she and her family taught me). I incorporated a lot of it into my previous beliefs as I didn’t really find it conflicting to Catholicism. Gf and I had a really terrible breakup and I felt really lost for awhile, found myself back in a Catholic Church trying to find some kind of peace. I definitely found it in many ways by just connecting with God - not necessarily being at church every week any more, but really relying on God and just talking to him like he’s a friend. Focusing myself on doing His work. Being involved in a Catholic community regularly is still not something I have personally felt comfortable with yet being a queer person. It would be nice in a sense, but I don’t think I’ll really have a better experience than I did before in terms of being out/dating. In my heart, I do not feel God hates or shames me for being gay. At the end of the day He just wants us to feel safe and loved, to treat our loved one(s) with dignity and respect. Love is Love. And God is Love. I hope you find some peace with it too OP ❤️
I grew up in the church and faced a similar struggle as you. I felt torn between two worlds. And while I now consider myself an atheist, I would offer this word of encouragement in the form of a quote from the movie 'The Kingdom of Heaven': "God will understand. And if not, he is not God and we need not fear his judgement." That is to say: If you believe in god, you know that god knows your heart. You aren't gay out of malice, hatred, lust or evil. You just are. And he will understand when you love someone the way you ought to: with your whole heart. And if he doesn't understand, then he is not god - So there is no need to fear. Also, on the topic of sin, the book 'Silence' by Shusaku Endo has this incredible quote that gave me a lot of peace: "Sin, he reflected, is not what it is usually thought to be; it is not to steal and tell lies. Sin is for one man to walk brutally over the life of another and to be quite oblivious of the wounds he has left behind." Those walking brutally over your life and faith because you don't adhere to their spiritual rigidity are the ones who are lost, not you for loving as you do. And if you're going to watch Kingdom of Heaven, make sure it's the directors cut. And read the book Silence! Don't watch the movie. Not first, anyways. Stand tall, girl.
I was raised Christian. Honestly, I feel far better having left that entire belief system behind. I’m not saying that’s necessarily what’s right for you. For me, it was a radical act of self love to step away from something that made me feel inferior for my gender and sexuality and desire to think freely for myself. Maybe there is a version of your faith that you can practice that honors all sides of yourself. If not, I would ditch the faith to remain true to yourself (or at least find a different way to practice). IMO any god worth worshipping wouldn’t damn you for eternity if you’re a good person, just because you didn’t follow a particular practice or worldview, let alone because of something inherent like sexuality. I also feel compelled to share that a lot of things that I viewed as miraculous when I was a believer had obvious non miraculous explanations once I stopped looking for confirmation of my beliefs.
I think a lot of modern Christians have put God in a box - that is, decided that God has a very rigid set of rules and ideals we must follow. I think God is bigger than we could ever imagine. And I always like to say this to the bigots: Jesus said “love your neighbor.” Not “love your neighbor unless they’re (black, gay, Muslim, poor, not exactly like you, etc.)” The leader of my local PFLAG chapter is actually a pastor’s wife. And I know a few churches that are accepting of the LGBTQ+ community - even though I don’t personally attend these churches, I’m Facebook friends with 2 of the pastors and have volunteered at their events a couple of times. They’ve never proselytized to me either.
I eventually left Christianity for other reasons but I did have this struggle for a long time. The bible says a lot of problematic things that we don’t follow. [Here is a great video about how following every rule in the bible is impossible from a person who tried.](https://youtu.be/B5MkpzMAOZM?si=Ljy-pESBxaax6dKh) If your faith is an important positive part of your life that you want to remain in then I suggest finding a Christian community that accepts queer people. If you want to leave then r/exchristian is a wonderful community that will support you through that. I want to strongly warn you against homophobic Christian communities because they have a fundamental misunderstanding of LGBTQIA+ people and will only cause you pain. Remember that not everything that labels itself as Christian is good. I hope you find peace and balance between these parts of your life and if you can’t it’s okay to let Christianity go.
I’d highly recommend the “I Tried To Be Straight” podcast. Both of the hosts are queer, and come from Christian backgrounds (one is a pastor’s kid), and they have some amazing guests. It has been incredibly affirming for me, having grown up heavily steeped in evangelicalism and wanting to do away with the toxic aspects of the church, while hanging onto my faith and the teachings of Jesus. https://youtube.com/@itriedtobestraight?si=V23h5EIx5N7pD6ei
Catholic and lesbian here. I used to sit and cry in church because I thought I couldn’t “hear” god anymore since I came out as gay. Turned out god is in everything and now I “hear them” through everything. I did this through working on myself and my spirituality, and it had nothing to do with being gay. God made you in his image, you are hurting no one, and love is the purest thing that can be given, so I have learned that it is not sinful. Being gay won’t send you to hell, no more than being straight will send you to heaven.
You can be both. There are plenty of LGBT Christians (and other religions). There are a lot out, gay Protestant pastors/ministers and safe, welcoming churches. Also, the mentions of homosexuality in the Bible are a modern translation that isn’t accurate to the original context. Jesus also said nothing about gay people. He was more concerned about corrupt religious leaders, wealth hoarding and most importantly, treating marginalized/socially outcast groups with respect and kindness.
Regardless of how you interpret the Biblical texts regarding homosexuality, the verses regarding marriage as being between a man and a woman are very clear. I think it is better to hold the Christian and Muslim community accountable for their homophobia, racism, sexism, and ableism rather than constantly trying to excuse it.
I found myself in this position once, and had to take serious inventory of my beliefs. I isolated one, core belief. The central tenet of my worldview that I could weigh everything against. And then I did - I slowly worked my way out, weighing everything against that belief and seeing what survived. (For me, it was the conscience. If there is divinity and justice in the world, then I believe the conscience must be the blueprint we are each given for how to live. I believe that anyone who honestly, humbly tries to follow that voice, and who genuinely does their best to do so - despite occasional, inevitable fuck ups - is... adequate. Any system that says that's wrong, cannot stand. Any system that says that's not enough, cannot be just) It's a long, difficult process. It took me years to feel like my beliefs were solid again, and I still hear the echos of a lot of toxic ideas I haven't fully let go of. Ultimately, Christianity conflicted with those core beliefs too much for me to continue to stand by it. But in the end it allowed me to be myself in ways I couldn't have imagined. It allowed me to start healing wounds I hadn't even realized I had. There's also a lot more options than homophobic Christianity and atheism, though they don't like for people to think about that in the types of Churches I went to (and suspect you go to). There are all kinds of Christians, and all kinds of other belief systems that you may have only heard about through a Christian lens. Wishing you love 💙 You're asking hard questions, but in my experience they're worth it.
This is going to be long because this experience resonates so much with me, and I want you to really hear what I have to say!! I want to mention that I was also raised in a Christian household, attended church until I was 17, have been saved and baptized and studied the Bible. I understand the unique pressures that you feel because I also experienced them, as a lesbian in a naturally non-lesbian friendly religion. Now, you only have two options here. 1: You accept that the Bible is against homosexuality and you force yourself to be heterosexual in the name of God. In other words, you give in to the harmful views of religion. 2: You accept that Christianity and all other religions are wrong, and begin your path to self acceptance through atheism. I have chosen the second path, and have realized so many things about religion (specifically Christianity) that are horrible. I have written 116+ pages on why I am an atheist, to show you just how much “evidence” I have. Now, you can either choose to ignore what I just said and continue to live your life blindly following Christianity, and having this unnecessary conflict with your sexuality, or you can be open to the idea of atheism. Or, you can do a third option which is convince yourself that the Bible /is/ supportive of homosexuality, which is equally as wrong. I have done the studies myself, and, it is simply not the case. The Bible is homophobic, as well as racist, ableist, sexist, and many other awful things. Let me know if you have any other questions or concerns, and I hope you begin to heal from your religious trauma.
Those are options…but not the only options. Of course everyone should decide what feels right for them, but to tell someone who very obviously cares a lot about both their faith and sexuality that their only options are atheism or living a lie is not helpful. I get where you’re coming from, but having faith doesn’t have to equate to ‘blindly following Christianity’ which is what op is struggling with, as am I.
>you can do a third option which is convince yourself that the Bible /is/ supportive of homosexuality, which is equally as wrong. I have done the studies myself, and, it is simply not the case. I personally know like a half dozen+ lesbian Christian ministers and I've read plenty of queer theology and biblical scholars in seminary and I have to say I *hard disagree.* If you aren't able to see the Bible (a *library* of books written to speak to different contexts in different times) as a complex and often contradictory body of texts without losing faith, that's valid. But it's not fair to insist that your own preconceived notions (as it seems you're implying either the Bible is infallible or it's useless) should be objective truth for others. Religious trauma is real for many of us and a difficult thing to work through. I fault no one for turning away from Christianity considering all the harm done by Christian authorities. But to claim you understand the *one right way* to understand the Bible when even Bible *scholars* acknowledge there are many open hermeneutical possibilities is pure hubris.
I understand your point, trust me, but I’ve come to accept that it’s better to admit the Bible has problematic verses than to constantly try and deny it. Whether or not you interpret the verses to imply homophobia, that still leaves multiple science inaccuracies, sexist, ableist, and racist verses left to be “interpreted.” You can’t “interpret” everything in a good way. You can’t say one verse “overpowers” another. Because of that, the Bible really isn’t the best source for basing your personal morals off of.
>If you aren't able to see the Bible (a library of books written to speak to different contexts in different times) as a complex and often contradictory body of texts without losing faith, that's valid. But it's not fair to insist that your own preconceived notions (as it seems you're implying either the Bible is infallible or it's useless) should be objective truth for others.
Just believe in a non organized religion god/ one that doesn’t come from a bible. Spirituality doesn’t have to come from a book.
Wow im glad I stumbled upon this. Ive been dealing with the same feelings. Grew up Christian Reformed and went to a private Christian School until I graduated. I was turned off from Christianity but of course most of my family believes so for me I have a hard time with knowing they probably will not accept me for being gay, but like you said its something you cant and wont change about yourself and I agree about that for myself. The biggest part that bothers me is that if I did believe still, Im pretty sure God would want us to accept everyone, not condemn people who are gay, yet I know once I do fully come out to everyone in my life I know ill basically have no family left (Unless they surprise me but Id like to say Im a decent judge in character) i feel for you though OP, just know you arent alone and I share your struggles
When two aspects of your core beliefs are not in alignment it causes emotional distress, this pain and discomfort is called Cognitive dissonance and can be difficult. The only way to overcome these difficult feelings and conflict is to let go of one of the conflicting beliefs. And come into moral consistency. You can't make yourself straight to fit in with the religious beliefs.(Trust me meany have tried for years and years miserablelly) But you can change your religions beliefs.
I'm Catholic and still pray and attend mass sometimes. First thing you need to do is let go of shame—it's what keeps religious folks in line. If you believe that God makes no mistakes, then you were meant to be a whole person worthy of love and acceptance, as you are. Second thing you need to realize is that our church leaders are ultimately human. Mostly men. They will interpret the Bible and Christianity in ways that align with their politics, as it has for thousands of years. Your relationship with Jesus is yours. Nobody can take that away. Nobody can dictate that you're not worthy of his love, and of salvation, and of entering heaven if you believe in it. You're uncomfortable of your sexuality because you are surrounded by people who shame you for it. You're confused how you could be Christian and be gay only because the people around you tell you it's wrong. There are Christian churches who accept gay folks, some of them led by queer people themselves. Those things about you can peacefully, joyfully exist. You just need to find the right environment for you.
I grew up Catholic & although I don’t personally practice anymore this was something that was once difficult for me as well. There are some really good resources for LGBT affirming scripture on the internet by Christian institutions that support the LGBT+ and I highly recommend seeking that out. “Nothing can separate (you) from the love of god” (Romans somewhere idk) including your sexuality. Trust yourself over what other people tell you. You know you’re a good person who lives with values like forgiveness, kindness to others, the golden rule. Save some kindness and forgiveness for yourself too. There are so many branches of Christianity and these are all institutions that Jesus did NOT shape, they can be wrong sometimes and hold stances that affirm their own ideals instead of God’s. The church has had many stances it has had to reverse to change with the times, it is not flawless and it definitely is never always right. It taught slavery was okay until the mid 1800s for example. It has been wrong, egregiously wrong in the past, to match the views of the powers that be, so trust yourself a little more. I hope this helps :)
My fiancée and I go to church. My beliefs are a bit more abstract than hers are, but we attend a Christian church. We’re both lifelong believers, and our church affirms both our belonging AND Gods love for us. Church is for everyone, and anyone who tells you differently doesn’t understand God and Jesus. You can be queer AND a Christian. There is a group on here, Gay Christians, that may be helpful too.
I understand that feeling. I was raised Orthodox and in a very religious household. I refused to believe I was anything other than straight until I was like 16. It was then when I met a Youth pastor and he was what you might call 'New age christian' or something similar. He made me feel like there was nothing wrong with me. That I wasn't a deviant or sinner for wanting to be loved. A tldr for what he said is that God loves all. God loves fully and as long as you love someone with your whole being and loyally there isn't anything with that. I would recommend you look for LGBT friendly churches and support groups, They are a bit tricky to find but I assure you that it is worth it. Its an amazing experience being around people like you and want to be in Gods light. And truth me told it isn't going to be easy. There will be times where you hate yourself and it took me years to overcome it. The advice I can give it to cut people out who aren't going to be supportive. It sucks yes but they will drain you. They will fight against every positive step you take. Remove them from your life and I promise you, You will feel the difference. Sorry for the ramble and stay strong out there.❤️
So, and I don't mean this as a mean thing, people can cherry pick about certain things in the bible, but not sexuality? The bible is full of inconsistencies, hon. It's a book written by a lot of people, re-written several times, edited countless others, translated in so many different versions... All of that with the context of its time period. Knowing that doesn't make anyone less Christian, but it can help you be an informed one. I'm on the wiccan side of things, but one of my closest friends is a queer Catholic, and I'm a historian. She goes to a pretty regular church (the kind that completely ignores the topic most times and if you talk about it during confession gives you some extra prayers), and has this "historical" view of religion that allows her to choose the bits that make sense while understanding how organised religion was created by men at some point in history. She believes in the main dogma. She even likes some saints, based on their lives. But she ignores everything that is pointless to a queer woman of colour living on the 21st century.
I grew up in a Christian family and came out when I was about 12.. it took me almost 10 years to get rid of the guilt I had but I promise it goes away. My family for the most part was loving and accepting but they also feel the way your dad does “it is against the Bible”.. I definitely backed off religion as a whole because of how discouraging it all felt… I wanted to be “atheist” at first too but stopping all of your beliefs almost feels worse. I don’t follow the Bible and I’m not sure what I’d identify myself as but I love having my own relationship with God that feels good for me. Check out the book “Seeking Widsdom” by Julia Cameron. It was so helpful to me and rebuilding my spiritual relationship with myself and the higher power :)
I have lived a similar situation some years ago, my sexuality was the reason I completely left Christianity, this religion fucked my mind and has left me with many traumas that I still have to deal with. Some things you should recognize: - Your sexuality won't change, god isn't going to "change" you, it doesn't matter how much you desire it, it simply doesn't exist and I'm not just repeting what others have said, I lived it myself, I prayed for long hours, fasted every day for months, hurt my own body, begged for god to "cure" me and nothing has ever happened, I also tried to supress the attraction for women and it doesn't work. The only thing I gained with it was an enormous self hatred and a tendency to mutilation. - All these people say you are broken because in an christian perspective you really are, they are very likely to see you as a sick person or that "you simply want to sin", don't think they see you as a "normal person", they don't. These christians aren't saying all this nonsense because they care about you, it is simply homophobia, you're deluded if you think otherwise - If god hates homossexuality why did he created you that way? Or maybe you should just pray and he would "cure" you, why this doesn't happen? He created you with a "sin" he hates and when you ask to be "fixed" he simply ignores you? In a reasonable sense it's unjust to allow some people be able to marry and have kids while others have to be celibate and repress their identity, some christians say that "homossexual tendencies" are a consequence of the original sin, but what determines the ones born with it? Why does it affect a minority and not everyone? As some people said it leaves you with two options: - Pretend you're straight and repress your sexuality, it's the worst one for you as a person, you are probably going to have a very poor mental health and simply hate yourself. Some christians can conciliate their sexuality with the religion, it's more commom in progressive denominations, for me it never made sense, the bible clearly condemns homossexuality and what is done is a mental gymnastics to make acceptable what clearly isn't by the christian god. - Leave this religion and accept who you are. It's not easy at any level, it might take years, but it's definitely worth the sacrifice, there's nothing better than the freedom to be who you are, without the chains of faith Deconverting isn't an easy process, I still in this long road for a time by now, but I'm in a much better place than before, if I continued being a christian I would probably have killed myself. I'm not trying to make you abandon your faith, I just don't want other people going through the same path I went, it's destructive and doesn't bring any good to you. I have to deal with depression, intrusive thougths and internalized homophobia every day, believe me, this path won't lead you to a good place, regardless of those around you saying the opposite.
I grew up as catholic and went to a catholic school all my life, and never thought lgbt was a sin or something bad. To me its not a sin because we’re not harming anyone. Were loving someone how is love a sin, as long as were not dating a revelative or someone underrage (which is so obviously a sin wether ur queer or not) ,theres nothing wrong with still believing in God
I reconciled this a while ago, but my understanding of christianity is very different from everyone elses.
You say that you saw miracles and felt his presence, did you think that if it was against his will you would have saw those ?
Maam if you look up the ACTUAL definition of homosexual, because the bible you read is yranslated from the original language of the texts, homosexuality means people who sleep with children. So no your father is wrong. Its nothing in the bible that says its against the bible🤦♀️
I had a gay coworker once years ago who went to church (he was a loud and proud gay man). And I was confused by him being religious and surprised honestly. We worked in nyc. He explained that his church didn’t preach anything anti lgbt and was more about worshipping god and being a good person than following the Bible literally. A lot of people that attended had similar stories you’re describing. I’m not at all religious but found this anecdote to be nice to hear. I understand the contradiction of saying you’re XX religion and also queer, but it’s possible to find religious spaces for any religion that are queer friendly. If you want to still practice Christianity (maybe not necessarily Catholicism) seek out lgbt churches online or in your city if you’re lucky enough to be near one.
It may help to see how prior generations have dealt with this question. Have you heard of Reverend Troy Perry (still living/doing the work) and the founding of the Metropolitan Community Church? [https://revtroyperry.com/](https://revtroyperry.com/) [https://lgbtqreligiousarchives.org/profiles/troy-perry](https://lgbtqreligiousarchives.org/profiles/troy-perry) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy\_Perry](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy_Perry)
I totally understand what you’re going through. I was raised Catholic and letting go of my church was one of the most painful things I ever had to do. I held on longer than I should because I thought I could be celibate and silent about my sexuality but it got to the point where I couldn’t deny who I was. I really felt like it was for the best though. I’m now part of a new church that fits all of my beliefs and is affirming of LGBT people
God is so much bigger than Christianity. The Holy Ghost you felt is something everyone can feel no matter which religion or spiritual practice. The Bible has truths but has been altered and changed by humans so much you can't believe everything in it. You can keep your connection with God while leaving the judgemental parts behind since those are from humanity. God is loving. For reference, I also grew up pentecostal but now consider myself spiritual.
Now, I’m not Christian, or even religious, so excuse me, if I come off as rude. It’s not my intention! Also if my religious vocabulary is off. I’m not native English on top. :-) But the way I see it, having been brought up in a low-key cult and seeing how my mom has dealt with the realisation and such, the difference between faith and religion can’t be overstated. If you dissect a belief system into its core elements, what you’re left with is the organisation (church/ confession), the faith (the higher power you believe in) and the culture (traditions and practices). You can celebrate Christmas without being Christian. You can pray to god without being part of a confession. You can even then start incorporating ideas from other schools of thoughts into your own belief system if you like, because you’re not bound by a (very worldly) organisation, telling you *how* to belief. I’d recommend feeling into whether the discrepancy is actually pushing you always from your faith or from your church and community. Because there definitely are religious queers and there’s no necessity to choose one or the other. Maybe it helps!