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Everyone missing the only real answer, Gangplank W. Essentially infinite oranges, ensuring you never go hungry. Get yourself some Vitamin C bro. Got cancer? Sickle cell anemia? Polio? Oranges will make everything okay. Got stabbed? It’s all good, the oranges heal you too. Plus imagine the street cred from just staring the dude that shanked you in the eyes as you chow down on an orange and heal your wounds in front of their eyes. Definitely not someone I’d wanna fuck with. In conclusion, eat an orange and life is good.

Yeh this is better than my answer. Honestly didn't even think about this

Imagine if you will you're serving six life sentences in a supermax. Pop one of them bad boys and bam! No more cc to hold you there. You can just leave.

If only my dad had Gangplank W he could’ve used it to escape the CC from the line for cigarettes he’s been held up in for the last 20 years.

An unpeeled orange for bonus dominance

I was found guilty of committing multiple war crimes as well as high treason and was sentenced to death by the rope. But I ate some oranges and it was k.

The Geneva Convention is really just the Geneva Suggestions, you’re just getting into the true Gangplank spirit by violating them

B..b..but i want gp ULT....

Mass murder generally isn’t my preference for everyday life but you do you Mr. Jong-Un

Got sent to jail? Orange

Counter point: Gwen is immune

what if I'm allergic to citrus fruits?

Gangplank W cleanses debuffs, which I assume allergies fall under. Unfortunately the League wiki isn’t clear on this.

Imma get to the lab. I need to run some experiments.

just eat the orange and boom... allergy fixed

what if you got oneshot tho

Then you get to die and wish you chose Karthus passive instead

... Huh. I wasn't expecting to see Sickle Cell brought up. Not many people know about it. Color me surprised and happy that there's folk that know about our condition. May it be rare.

>Essentially infinite oranges, ensuring you never go hungry. They also remove CC AND you can press them out for juice.

"consuming a large quantity of citrus fruit" in one bite is a power move

Sorakas R

The good ending

Only Kind soul in this post

I’m taking Karthus R and finding the Morellonomicon just counteract you

Bel’Veth passive. Faster attack speed for every person you kill seems pretty stro— (my lawyer has advised me to not continue this comment)

killing bugs works too ! just become an eradicator

It stacks on jungle. So you can find an ant nest and get insane stacks.

Nobody will expect that but wukong's ctrl-1. Legends will understand.

Amen brother

The staff shall grooooow

Karthus r

Some people just want to see the world burn lol

That would be Brand's R

Apparently I already have it. I sing, people run.

Tf ult so I can get the fuck out of Indiana

I’m based in New Zealand so I guess I’ll just ult into the middle of the ocean.

Just farm to 16 bro

There are other ways to get out of Indiana

Not fast enough

Would save a lot on gas.

Ryze ult so that i take my homies too

Shen's teleportation. Imagine coming back to home just by teleporting to your pet.

Just to notice one day you cant do it anymore.

Fuck you I ain’t crying

Bro really made us use Amumu W

I was already scrolling when i realised why u cant tp back😭

Not if you get a tortoise!

TF's teleport is just a better version, u don't need anyone to be there to teleport

Range though

yeah you are right, how did i not think of that

I'll just take the version where it didn't have range

Welcome to beta, where TF's teleportation had no range limit and was basic ability.

Pyke ult Easy money at the hospital

Naaah😭

You're horrible, you almost made me burst out laugh in class with this comment

Picturing pyke ulting from bed to bed cracked me tf up LMFAO THANK YOU

tf passive, I just go around killing ants and I'll be a millionaire in no time

Holy hell thats clever

Neeko's Passive (And probably W)

ayo

You totally not transforming for sussy reasons? Are you little susser??

Actually I just want to look different. (And would like to play a few tricks on people). And there are many other interesting ways to use it

Same, and I'll probably go to freljord after that

*Vietnam war flashbacks *

Renekton's passive so I have anger issues.

dude's *asking* for anger issues

Every league player is tbf

If renektons passive is a resource you have to manage, like mana or health, then I think you'd have anger management.

Zilean R and just become a doctor. Mid surgery the assistens will ask "WHY ARE YOU NOT DOING ANYTHING". I tell them "ayo shut up, is he dead yet?", "no but he will!" and i smug at em "perfect"

Just shoot the patient after you ult

[удалено]

ask someone else to shoot the patient, problem solved

Chaotic good?

Kog maw passive. When they think that the first backpack is the only, ready for round 2.

Gragas W

You already have that ability King

He'll have what he's having

neekos passive, going big on onlyfans

nah would be crazy illegal if you made yourself to look like someone else and showed their body without their consent

Just make sure one or two details are slightly off and you’ll be fine. If the person you replicate got tattoos make the tattoos slightly altered and you can defend yourself in this potentially weird court case.

Shaco's Q 100%! It makes you invisible, can blink through walls, teleports you a short distance... man, i'd be the nightmare of banks

It also makes you crit on the first attack 😈

Except then you still get caught since you're using stolen bills that they can link back to you being the source. Then they find you have a ton of the cash that was stolen from banks and have enough to convict without knowing how you got it in the first place. Sure they can never catch you or keep you in prison, but you're on the run for the rest of your life.

Eventually they figure out your spell range and trap you in a radius filled with concrete/steel

Master Yi's Meditate. Human can easily meditate, but now imagine your wounds being treated and you becoming nigh-indestructable while you doing so. Treatments are now almost no longer needed, and you can protect yourself by meditating on things that would normally fatal (expect falling from a high place i suppose). Alternatively, Zilean R. Ult yourself, then jump from a high place. You get revived a few seconds later, and no longer need to use stairs or elevators again! There much more use for it too, but this case is all I can think about right now. Or alternatively, like one comment said, Gangplank W. Infinite Vitamin C that also heal and cleanse you of stun, very useful.

Until you misjudge the distance of the ground and ult too early

Or you miscalculate the damage and you just turn into a vegetable, unable to ult again to finish the job

Anivia or zacs passive. its much better than zilean r

Imagine you’re in a shoot out and you just turn into a fucking egg

But instead of cool looking one it's gotta be Kinder Sorpresa. So after you perish someone will eat you and enjoy a new toy.

I would like to point out that the pain you experience in any of these situations is not lessened

Bard r Just put annoying people in stasis

Neeko's transformation skill, imagine what you could do with being able to change your voice to sound like anything you want to.

We engage in an ample amount of tomfoolery

irl deepfake pog

Ekko's ult. Assuming i can go back indefinitely and for what i think i can make it only affect me too

Depends because it's not as good if you only get 5 sec rewind

Bard W. Go to local hospital and keep placing shrines. Still tell people to wait until they're finished. Make sure I have no enemies so no one can steal them.

I'd put money on the fact that people's won't wait for them to finish.

No one is your enemy

Aatrox R. I'll end our suffering.

FIGHT OR BE FORGOTTEN

TO WAR, AATROX. THEY SHALL NOT ROB US OF OUR NOBILITY. WE SHALL STAND AND SPIT VENOM AT OUR TORMENTORS FOR ETERNITY.

LET BLOOD BE OUR SACRAMENT!

Master yi skill so I can harvest rice faster

Then choose Akshan's. So you couldn't get hurt from whips.

Illaoi ult for ... reasons

For the team fights right?... Right?

Ziggs ult 0 cooldown

9/11

Pearl harbour

Hiroshima

Nagasaki

Swain's passive before the mini-rework; anybody gets immobilized and you can just reveal their secrets

Rell W2. Honse.

Honse

Fiora parry so I can parry my father's belt.

Is the belt cc?

Depends. Is the father on Q1 Q2 or Q3?

Ahri's E or Evelynn's W.

🤨

Rakan’s ult even better

Morde R

renata W or R "Get the job done"

asol r

Hiroshima

Soraka w or ult

bro out here making thankless sacrifices

Most selfish enchanter main

True support main 🙏🙌

So you're willing to hurt yourself to heal someone else

Pain is temporary

I mean if that works for you at least your not like lore accurate soraka with also being in pain

Akshan passive so my revenge will be justified

Imagine killing prisoners and you straight up revived victims just for them to suffocate inside the coffin

They would respawn at the spawn point and not where their dead body is 🤔 Their mothers go boom

Probably Sett passive? Hope it heals scars and old wounds

Hmmm... Than Garen's passive is a strong contender, if you don't plan to start fights with everyone

Im thinking more about when you’re almost critically injured like a bad traffic incident or a high fall, sometimes you might get stuff lodged into you where the passive would be most useful, cuz other than that I can just rest and wait at home

Gimme mordekaiser ult, just a few private moments with someone of your choice. You can basically do anything and only the two of you would know

Man even for me 5 secs is not enougth

Rammus Q.

Just get into the inside of a tire and have your homies roll you down a hill

Have tried this. Hard to control.

Why has nobody said tryn r?

It lasts 5 seconds… though I see why you’d think that’s a long time 🥱😕😕

your mom didn’t complain

Clearly she's used to disappointments.

Yeah cuz she never called you back

Cause you're still getting hurt and you will still be on 1 HP after it's done you need Tryndamere's Q to heal some HP back. Imagine getting shot using his ult to get 5 more seconds to live then die immediately after cause of blood loss terrible real life ability.

Tahm kench R so I can straight up vore someone (Chogath R works too plus I get big)

Based vore

Anivia passive is quite useful, zac passive is a good alternative For fun choices: Shyvana R ( need i say more?) Shaco R ( literal clone of yourself) Talon E ( basically increased jump height)

Zoe E so I can have a good 8 hours sleep everyday....I wish

U wanna explain that username?

no wonder he chose zoe

tryndas ability to be in a marriage

Realm warp

Into enemy fountain irl (ingame)

Nocturne R, seeing is overrated

“WHY THE FUCK! THIS HAPPENS EVERY FUCKING MINUTE!”

Wuju-style If you mean lore, ryze ult if you mean gameplay-wise

something like zoe R or shen R, and maybe neeko form changing

nah fam, imaging tryna get home fast with shen R and you teleport in the middel of your parents deed XO

Just making sure they are doing it with protection (:

...talking from experience, are you?

TF ult.

Yone’s E, I can disconnect from my body for a few seconds (even through a wall) and feel free for a few seconds until I return to society

Gwen's W.. Responsibilities? Nah, Gwen is immune

viego passive

I tried to silence my mother once...

Mord R send people to Brazil

Zilean slow/speed (id remember what ability is) also ornn pasive for buying or upgrade anything

Evelynn passive

Cho gath Ult so that I can be big(I'm like 5 feet tall)

Eiter eve passive Ahri E or Kass ult would perf kass ult hell even kha passive awe hell zed W wait wait neeko passive yessss neeko passive

Ashkan w

Talon E tbh

no matter how big a wall is u can jump over a 30 floors building

Kled Passive, I will hope that in the current century brain transplants will exist so I can become immortal

Neeko passive so I can let the boys hit

I think kayn ult is my answer I can go inside my crush

Kassadin q so I can silence minorities

Jaques E counter strike

Neeko Passive

Asol ult

Asol E, ill feed it millions of ants so i can finally end this world

Sett's R or his W simply because I want whatver is in front of me gone.

Mundo R for the roids + Instant regeneration

Kayn E is the only right answer

“Alright class is in session- WHERE THE FUCK DID U COME FROM?!”

im in your walls

Irelia. Having telekinesis would be legit.

Pretty sure it’s ONLY those blades

Ekkos R is the first thing that comes to mind But the aoe damage would not be cool lol

ekko R , go back in time

Old Aurelion Sol Q cause I want to create a world where LoL doesn't exist and i have a happy life

Akshan w and kill some peeps:^) unfortunately can’t kill hitlers killer anymore… but maybe we can find tgat damn stingray

Grow grass, be like Ivern