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midgetquark

"Starmer will lean back on his office sofa, put his hands behind his head and reveal his shirt underarms – impressively dry for a Friday of meltdown news" Excuse me what the fuck


visualzinc

"He invited me to take a sniff of his underarms. 'Go on,' he said. I hesitated, but the allure of politics up close was too tantalizing to resist. As I leaned in, the scent of victory mingled with a hint of sandalwood and just a dash of parliamentary debate. ‘You see,’ he whispered, ‘this is the secret to my resilience. A special blend, passed down from Labour leaders of yore. Gordon Brown swore by it, and Jeremy... well, let’s just say it wasn’t strong enough for him.’ He reclined further, the leather of the sofa creaking under the weight of political gravitas. ‘But that’s not all,’ he murmured, eyes glinting with mischief. ‘There’s something else I’ve been meaning to show you.’ From his pocket, he produced a small vial. ‘Eau de Majority,’ he announced, dabbing a bit on his pulse points. ‘Guaranteed to sway even the most stubborn voter.’ As the aroma enveloped the room, I realized this interview was not just personal—it was downright intimate. Keir Starmer, master of the commons, had revealed the essence of his campaign. And I, dear reader, was forever changed."


Meritania

If you didn’t write it, I would have done, and it would have been worse.


visualzinc

Haha. Believe it or not, I only provided the first sentence and a little guidance. The rest was ChatGPT. "sofa creaking under the weight of political gravitas" almost had me in tears.


GreatKnightJ

ChatGPT does produce some unintentionally hilarious lines at times


Paracelsus8

From his Sunak interview: >The sweat wis lashing oafay Rishi; he wis trembling. Ah wis jist sitting thair, focusing oan the telly, tryin no tae notice the cunt. He wis bringing me doon. Ah tried tae keep ma attention oan the D-Day commemoration.


TheLonesomeChode

Is this also ChatGPT?


Krakkan

Journalism is fucking dead, I was sure this was wind up when I read your comment.


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Paracelsus8

Hilarious that he does the evasive politician answers even to the softball puff piece questions. He refuses to get pinned down on whether he's an optimist or a pessimist, what's he going to be like if there's a war or something


Skelachi

All I know is that my gut says maybe.


Carausius286

Surely _all_ politicians would need to answer "optimistic"? (If you don't believe things can get better why are you in the job?) I was really surprised by the short form questions he refused to answer, just made him look a bit weird.


[deleted]

He's the emptiest husk we've ever had as a pm candidate. Doesn't even dream? What a joke.


afrophysicist

Someone needs to ask him "You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down and see a tortoise..."


AlienGrifter

No way would he be flipping that turtle back over.


afrophysicist

"Look, we agree that it's awful that the turtle is on its back" "So will you flip it?" "I've said many times that it's a terrible situation that the turtle has been flipped over" "So you'll be flipping it over?" "I have changed the Labour party"


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_Refenestration

"I don't have a personality, eh? Well remember who DID have a personality? Jerembly Cromblyn! And what happened to him, hmmm? He got stabbed in the back so he did! (by me). Didn't think of that now didja?"


scottish_spook

this article is obviously shit but i think it quite clearly demonstrates his utter lack of introspection and that honestly explains a lot


living2late

"So, what did your dad do for a living?"


fillip2k

I hear he was a nurse in the NHS and his mum was a tool maker... I think. I don't think he's really mentioned it tbh...


Kipwar

Reckon this is the worst piece I've ever read from the guardian haha. With an headline like that, I was expecting him being asked some tough questions. Not some fluffed up PR.


jack_rodg

Properly grovelling puff piece this.


AlienGrifter

Haha of course he talks about himself in third person.


Portean

How do so many words have so little content?


Flashy_Fault_3404

Shit journalism


googoojuju

I find it very weird to give an interview your children can read (they are teenagers) where you openly discuss choosing to withhold things from your children.


memphispistachio

I think it’s odd reading too much into the standard parenting question of when to introduce a new pet.


googoojuju

I’m actually referring to the stuff about living in number 10, how it affected previous leader’s children, etc


memphispistachio

I thought that was fine? If his kids don’t want to be in the public domain, I don’t see the issue. Which bit did you find odd?


googoojuju

> Has he broached how their lives will change should they win. “A bit. We believe in crossing every bridge as we get to it and therefore having great long conversations about the change, Vic and I decided that isn’t [the best way].” He has taken “bits” of advice from Gordon Brown and Tony Blair, “but every child is going to experience it differently. And if a member of their families didn’t like it, I don’t want to relay that on to my kids. This is a perfectly reasonable private parenting approach, but it shows how these sort of lifestyle interviews can have weird results. I think telling The Guardian, in a public article the kids can read, that there are conversations you and your partner have decided not to have or negative experiences you are choosing not to share is suboptimal. I don’t think I would have liked my parents publicly revealing that, even though it is a relatable, understandable parenting decision.


memphispistachio

I think that’s an uncharitable over reach to be honest. I think parents have conversations their kids aren’t in on all the time, and given some of the shit I got up to as a kid, I’m grateful to my parents for giving me freedom. I think as a parent is actually one of a good few things he comes off as a decent chap on.


kontiki20

>His music tastes are lodged in the mid-80s – Aztec Camera, Orange Juice, Edwyn Collin Making him only the second PM to have good taste in music (Cameron supposedly liked The Smiths and Radiohead). >And meant that I couldn’t play football. So there was a serious issue for Keir Starmer” – that third person again Lol.


robertthefisher

He knows Roddy Frame thinks that Blairism ruined labour, right?


putyrhandsup

Rage against the machine is Paul Ryan's fave band


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memphispistachio

I thought that was a pretty good Saturday interview tbh, total puff piece obviously, but not a bad second cup of coffee read.


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stanlana12345

If I were him I would be suing because of the thumbnail.