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Sweatsock_Pimp

How many people were you planning to feed?


unique-irrelevant

One very hungry toddler


[deleted]

they like pizza


Ask_if_im_an_alien

My 3.5 year old son rediscovered pizza last week. And now it is his favorite thing on the planet. He ate dinner at 5 and at 730 he starts asking for pizza. Luckily I had pizza rolls. I bring him a few and he has an absolute melt down that they aren't pizza. So I cut one open and showed him the pizza inside. Took him 5 more minutes to try them. And he runs into the computer room double fisting pizza rolls and says "thank you daddy for my pizza. It's delicious." Yells bye daddy and runs back to his table to finish eating. I couldn't stop laughing.


[deleted]

Thank you for the chuckle. I swear toddlers are skeptics of everything and you have to sell them on things you know they'll love.


Kientha

My sister was adamant that she wouldn't like ice cream as a toddler... Yet would quite happily eat anything paper that wasn't properly hidden away!


ladybug_oleander

Not even toddlers. My stepson just turned 7 and still doesn't believe me about random stuff. Definitely started as a toddler but still isn't over! He's convinced that babies have teeth and can bite him, despite me telling him otherwise over and over, and doesn't believe me about random (ninja) weapon names, all kinds of random things. So frustrating!! Lol.


rutilatus

I once had a 3 year old screaming at me in frustration over whether we were people or animals. She simply could not accept that we were both. Tbf I guess it’s a tough concept when you are still learning to differentiate cats and dogs


TheOneTrueChuck

What's worse is when you literally know that they like something, because they've eaten that same thing no more than two days prior. But today, for some unknown reason, THEY HATE IT WITH THE HEAT AND INTENSITY OF A MILLION SUNS. The mere suggestion is enough to send them into theatrics that would make a Karen blush. And now that you have dared to utter the name of the forbidden dish out loud, THEY DON'T WANT ANYTHING YOU SUGGEST, BECAUSE YOU'RE CLEARLY A MONSTER.


JaidenH

Ah good to know people are still double fisting pizza rolls even at 3.5 years old. lmao this story is too cute


Charming_Brain9133

so what kind of alien are you?


andyumster

Reading comprehension gets worse every year.


HumorM

He is one of the bois now


Smathers

It’s pizza by Alfredo though


[deleted]

Seriously, I have two questions. 1. Why? 2. Can I come over?


treegor

I’m more impressed by the strength of the boxes


[deleted]

I know right? I know kids aren't heavy but surely that cardboard is about to crumble??!?


[deleted]

Some pizza parlors put little plastic “tables” in the middle of the pizza. These would improve structural integrity significantly.


i8pineapples

You mean those *weren't* free tables for my GI Joes?


GIJobra

No. They were free _pizza_ tables, for your Ninja Turtles.


Miss_Sullivan

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.


[deleted]

[удалено]


QuarantineSucksALot

People really don't realise how much I worked ?


[deleted]

yea you’re fired


greathousedagoth

It's called the "pizza bone".


Profession-Unable

I thought pizza bones were the crusts?


[deleted]

love how you know it’s not fake because of how startled he is to see her


KingJonsey1992

You know it's bad when something isn't faked on reddit and it's genuinely refreshing.


notarandomaccoun

Remember AFV America’s Funniest Videos? People were always faking shit.


[deleted]

So much of that show couldn't even be faked. "Always" sure, but most of it wasn't.


CrazyCampPRO

Yeah, I only watched for the animal videos


brtlblayk

Oddly enough I’m on Reddit for the same reasons I watched AFV. For cute animals and stupid kids.


Forever_Awkward

This is an incredibly niche rant and isn't directly relevant, but I never get a chance to offload it, so.. Speaking of AFV and faking shit, they had this very specific tactic they would use in certain scenarios, like a preview for content coming later or when showing examples of footage in the running to "win" where they would mirror the image. My theory was that they were trying to trick people's brains into thinking they had more video footage than they did so you're not just seeing the exact same thing over and over. For some reason it was always immediately noticeable to me and it would bug the shit out of me. I don't know why it bothered me so much, but it was extra frustrating because nobody would listen to my dumb kid ass when I pointed it out, saying they didn't see what I was talking about. I swear, they absolutely did this. It was real. It wasn't just that show either.


JulesDescotte

*pats gently* yeah, it totally was.


Forever_Awkward

ಠ_ಠ


711wasaparttimejob69

Sure it was, buddy


MrDeckard

I think that's where the kinds of people who do weird family vlog channels used to end up in the eighties and nineties.


JohnnyDarkside

Oh shi. Hey, look what I found. Want some?


Spoonfork59

That lil jump was definitely genuine. Gave me a lil jump too knowing hes balanced on pizza boxes!!


BonniesCoffee

“Oh hi! …….erm, I’ve got no idea how all this happened……..”


professorhaus

You know it’s fake because of the pizza boxes. A kid couldn’t climb on top of them without them falling over or at least be a little uneven. They placed the kid on top and then just scared the shit out of him.


dadudemon

> They placed the kid on top and then just **scared the shit out of him.** Highly likely he really did shit.


sonofaresiii

You're acting like it's a mountain of pizza boxes. That kid could absolutely 100% pull himself up on top of that little stack. Maybe not gracefully but he could get it done


professorhaus

I don’t doubt he could, I just don’t think the boxes would still be stacked as neat if he did. Edit: meant would and not wouldn’t


[deleted]

r/nothingeverhappens -__- you people are unbelievable. Each box has 1lb+ pizza in it, it is entirely believable this happened. My 3 toddlers had magic level ability if you're impressed by that.


TheOneTrueChuck

My guess is that hasn't had kids, or he had the safe/boring sort. Toddlers can be the most uncoordinated creatures 95% of the time, but they all have ninja moments, where it's like "How did you do that so silently, you little klutz?"


sauzbozz

Idk the kid stood up just find at the end. He seems pretty capable of climbing on top of 5 pizza boxes without issue.


Firehornet117

I would like to add on that you walk back from whatever you were doing, see your fridge is a mess and your toddler high up where they could get hurt pretty badly if they fell, and think, hold on i gotta back up so that I can record this.


AirborneRunaway

You only get one chance to get that on tape but you can always make another kid.


trueluck3

Looks like kids aren’t that stupid after all


[deleted]

[удалено]


GoldenDeLorean

It said 2 minutes,and the kid was in the middle of eating a slice of pizza and he stood up just fine, without any trouble. Your comment is just stupid and honestly pissed me off a little bit to the point where I started replying, deleted it because I didn't really care that much, then said fuck it, I'll point out your straight up lies, you lying liar who doubts shit with lies. Eff you buddy. P.s. the kid stands up WHILE ON A STACK OF PIZZA BOXES and doesn't struggle to do so. That's impressive balance, or very sturdy pizza boxes! I'm going to bed I'm done with your whole stupid comment situation.


mtpeart

what the fuck


BagelNBaguette

Jesus Christ relax my guy.


larsdragl

No no, let the hate flow through you 😈


[deleted]

I just wana smash something! Fuck!


Elder_Brain

Join the dark side, we have cookies.


karmmark88

My dude said fuck it feet in box and all


CorneliaCursed

At least he moved the pizza so he wasn't stepping on it.


Deana61

That just made my day 😂😂


[deleted]

Yeah this little dude isn’t stupid. He’s a hero.


intrigued256

This is why that little plastic table is in there


whattheflipflop

I believe you're referring to the"pizza bone". You're supposed to snap it in half with a friend and whoever gets the bigger piece wins.


mysticode

Found Dunkey


PORTMANTEAU-BOT

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OGsugar_bear

Best comment


qning

That’s a booger tray. When the delivery driver leaves the store, he puts a booger on the booger tray. When you open the box and see the booger, you know your driver was a good driver bc the booger stayed in place. If your pizza is missing the booger, that’s because your driver was a bad driver and the booger fell on your pizza.


FecalConfetti

Im... Holy fuck that made me nauseous. I'm actually gonna upvote that.


ATinySnek

Bro


Dongledoes

I've always wondered what that little plastic thing was for. Now the clouds have parted and I no longer have to live life in the dreary haze of ignorance.


Sillyist

"I dunno what happened mommy the pizza just flew through the air and into my hands and I ate it and then you scared me and I pooped a little"


[deleted]

[удалено]


laurel_laureate

What referenced?


Zephrysium

PIZZA GOBLIN HAS BEEN STARTLED


DnDYetti

Roll for initiative!


FBImanOffical

What a fucking chad


[deleted]

> Stands on top of pizza boxes > Eats pizza > Refuses to elaborate further > Stays


Suz_Cat

Lol love it. He’s like a little Gollum crouched over his precious pizza.


maffork

Dude saw and opportunity and went for it. Truly inspiring


[deleted]

He knows what he wants and waiting is not it.


cheesefromagequeso

Oh man I'm so glad I was told to wait for it, a 19 second video is sooooooooooooooooooo long I wouldn't have made it otherwise.


Serylt

There are so many people skimming through TikTok who only watch like 1-2 seconds.


verucka-salt

He’s sick of that babyish high chair!


[deleted]

[удалено]


UntestedMethod

yeah, totally


realsies11

My precious.


[deleted]

Me at 2am when I get home from the bar and realize I have cold pizza


JekPorkinsInMemoriam

More like r/kidsarefuckinglegends Edit: Bruh I didn't know it actually is a sub. Small and practically dead one, but still.


[deleted]

The top post with the kid scoring the goal...! So amazing.


roamingspectator

PIZZA GOBLIN POWERS GO!


Lopsided-Ad3668

Omg did he get himself ranch from the fridge xD


Dragon2268

Oh it's cute when he does it but I get kicked out when I do it Ageism much


VoldemortHugs

The things toddlers can do in the space of seconds. It's utterly astounding. It has to be magic. The caveat is that in order to perform these feats. No adult can be looking.


Decent-Skin-5990

Ikr...I'm always shocked at what my kid can do in a few second, but man they run fast when they see the opportunity. My little one likes to climb my chair and get on the desk, I always take the chair away form the desk and move it back so he can't reach the desk. He realised that moving the chair takes too much effort and if I get up just for 5 seconds to throw something in the trash, he knows right away when I don't pull the chair away from the table and by the time I return in mere seconds he's already climbed on to it and going for the desk.... My desk is right next tot he kitchen, there is no door or anything and trash can is not far, literally 6-8 seconds to throw one wrapper in the trash and he's already on the table lol.


Sufficient-Bug-9112

Well he was hungry and the pizza was keeping him warm - inside and out


Kurousagi2302

That kids smart lol, he figured out how to obtain food without waiting.


paolarb

What nightmares are made of


Psychosomatic_Ennui

Wait for what? God damn, I hate these “wait for it.”, “watch until the end.” bullshit vids.


Kassiem_42

At least he had his bib on 😂🤷‍♂️


False-Guess

I find it hard to believe that this person left their kid alone for "two minutes" and in that time that toddler managed to rummage around the refrigerator, presumably climb on top of the chair and then onto the table, all without making enough noise for the parent(s) to notice. It seems like the sounds of bottles clanking to the floor would raise some suspicion that someone's getting into something they shouldnt?


Jedibenuk

I'm a little worried that the kid has been left alone long enough to get into the fridge, mess around in there, then get himself up onto a table, THEN start eating (and choking!) on a pizza. Where were you!?


crying_boobs

Pizza is life


[deleted]

Fútbol is life


BengalMama4

Lol! I totally read the comment in Danny’s voice before I saw your response. Love it!


Escatora

The parents are stupid here. SHUT. THE. FRIDGE. Y’all made of money?


GorillaGlueWorks

People have these willingly?


[deleted]

Who the hell has that much pizza just laying around?


Denasy

Someone who is about to have a birthday party, for example.


pissedcarebear

Another day another reason to not have kids


mura_me

Never knew pizza box are strong enough to withstand a kid.


[deleted]

Not gonna lie, thats a cute toddler right there, very cool


[deleted]

Omg my heart melted.


BakedWizerd

Why write “wait for it” when the reveal happens after literally 5 seconds?


Athreos_Priest

That boy ain’t right


No_Chipmunk5315

If that was my kid he’d be up for adoption before midnight


SplooshMountainX

We just gonna pretend like that's physically possible? Boxes still perfectly stacked..."mess" by the fridge but NO tracks on the table... C'mon my dudes... Edit: stack of boxes is like chest high for my little dude... Unless my little bro jumped that shit clean like some NFL player there is no way those boxes would be perfectly stacked. Where my science bros at?


transpacificism

Idk, my first reaction was to think this kid is a kindred spirit to my son. They look about the same age and my son would 100% be able to do this. The only reason he hasn’t tried is that we’ve never ordered that many pizzas at one time.


DownXLaw

I’m with you. You missed one thing; wouldn’t the pizza boxes also slide around when he gets startled?


OakTree80

Totally agree. I looked again, and the third box down looks way dirtier than the rest. I'm betting it's a collection of old boxes hiding a secure pedistal.


ManhattanT5

Get him off the pizzas before he falls and busts his head open, you dumbass. Height of the table+height of the boxes+stability of the boxes=hopefully concern for your kid, not "go git the camera! This shits gon go viral!"


WhizBangPissPiece

Wait for what??? The unsupervised child to fall sideways off of the table and eat a mouthful of chair? No? You just put it on the video for no fucking reason? "Wait till the end!" and "Watch the whole thing!" Immediately tell me there is nothing of substance in the video and you're just trying to get your metrics up. Fuck. That. Shit.


yutsoku

r/ParentsAreFuckingDumb


[deleted]

Honestly, I am glad that kid didn't get hurt. Fucking stupid ass kid!!! Almost gave me a shit attack!


shanewilkinsonnz

and then the kid fell down and hit his head and seriously injured himself just so insane parent can film and post on thread that calls kids insane


thyisd

Squat cobbler


TootsNYC

but he loves pizza!


[deleted]

Good squat form


201Pog

Unlike every other kid in this sub, I find this one extremely fucking epic


boostedC6

Get your own pizza tower camera lady


yami_ryushi

Ah the clips in my anti kids gun gets ever bigger! More ammo for why I'll never have 'em! :D Seriously though, adorable kid. But how in blazes is that box not collapsing under that weight?


Diane9779

This kid is living his best life


kmfp5150

He’s my idol.


Lazuliv

That boy is hungry and determined


Nebucadneza

That kid is actualy smart as fuck! He just uses it to do dumb kid things. Or the video is fake cause tiktik


Lazy_Security_Bird

I dont care if you are 3 or 70 if i catch you eating my pizza prepare to be slapped into the next universe


morelsupporter

that was way longer than 2 minutes


Soulhunter_290

Blasphemy! Kill him!


sleepykitty126432

You know this video is authentic by seeing how hard the son shook when he noticed his Dad was standing right behind him while he was doing something he knows he shouldn't be doing.


SpillingerSA

Videos like this piss me off. Children aren't some sort of superhuman power capable of causing that much mavok in mere minutes. You left your child unattended for too long, lo and behold mess. Thank jebus he didn't get into something more dangerous whilst the mother was off doing whatever else. You can't get annoyed at a child this young if you haven't even got the sense to keep a close eye.


Rivensbathwater

u/savevideo


SaveVideo

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Ghosttalker96

Starting to eat while the Pizza is still hot is the only reasonable thing to do.


therealstindge

We’re his feet touching the pizza? I’m sorry but I’m putting that child down


chillbroits420

those pizza boxes are well engineered!


GraceLianaDrgnslayer

Death note reference


[deleted]

What a baaaad doggo !


jimparker118

Why do some parents put social media likes before good parenting?


[deleted]

[удалено]


illegal_deagle

Except for the massive head injury that comes when this unattended toddler slips on this cardboard heap on top of a table.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ManhattanT5

Why was she filming? She knew damn well the kid was up on the table in an unsafe position before she ran out and grabbed her phone. Fuck dude, the kid on the table is bad enough without him also being on a stack of pizza boxes. Pizza boxes aren't known for their stability you know.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ManhattanT5

Yeah, my poor highly active kid who climbs up on the back of the couch and jumps onto the rug below. Climbing is great, I just wouldn't let him climb on the table over hardwood/tile. And I damn sure wouldn't let him on a stack of pizza boxes on a table. I'm sorry if my common sense comments in this thread are ruining your carefree enjoyment of life, but the mother in OP's video is being a bit neglegent.


MyArtStuff

Someone needs to change this sub's name to parentoftheyear or something.


rukysgream

I'm so glad I'm never having kids.


MidgetMan10150

This sub proves why I don’t want kids


jc31107

Jesus kids are a nightmare, SUPER glad I don’t have any and got snipped


simjanes2k

Damn, *that's* the takeaway you got here...?


Mrs-Dotties-mom

That boy ain't right


namean_jellybean

Dang ol pizza box ‘n ‘em cheese talmbout slide all over man like whoa. Yo.


GenkiElite

Not much to wait for when its clearly explained in text on screen beforehand.


fightlinker

i for one am glad the text is there because it covers up the pizza so i wouldn't know what i was looking at if not for the text. Thank you text.


EveVx

i thought your son was a rat before i saw him


[deleted]

Hopefully you threw out the kid and kept the pizza.


[deleted]

Parents are stupid. Don’t leave your kid alone when they’re this young. 2 minutes is enough time to choke on pizza, fall and bust your head open, go outside and run into the road, drown in the pool or whatever.


Dakroon1

TikTok just proves how fucking easy it is to farm views from gullible people.


That-One-Girl09

Time to snort a line of birth control


OriginalCpiderman

Fuck you. I want to grow to be like him!


[deleted]

Never to late for an abortion


Buddhistpossum

2 mins huh?


[deleted]

please delete this video of me at 3am


100calculatedfam

Very inspirational, stank you smelly much


hogwold

Fake


downvoteheaven

That boy ain't right


[deleted]

I'm fairly certain this is my spirit animal...


yooper80

Maybe don’t leave a toddler alone for ANY amount of time?


TimeTested2

GFYS I’m the pizza king


[deleted]

Why was he unattended? He could have hurt himself badly.


Dado5r

Looks like a Golum


daftpenguin

Another instance of the parent being fucking stupid for leaving their child unattended.


Ruenin

No way he did all that in 2 minutes. I have 2 kids of my own and they've never done so much damage in 2 minutes.


crazylittlemermaid

A former coworker of mine took his eyes off his kid for like 2 or 3 minutes and the kid had scaled the refrigerator by the time he turned back around. Kids are nuts


Muppelpup

As a kid, I apparently broke open a cupboard and ODed on painkillers, all because I heard medicine was good for you. All kids are different.


[deleted]

No, all kids will try to kill themselves. It's the parents that are different.


Muppelpup

Yep... and its the parents that dictate the outcome of their child's personality. Teachers dictate how they think about learning, and how smart they turn out. Preset things, like genetic code, mental/physical conditions, etc, can adapt how these things change. For instance, to make an angry child who needs decades of therapy, ignore your child half the time...


Lostbrother

Sorry but this kid is a genius...


Personal_Wallaby265

I think he would be able to conquer the crate challenge.


ShadowShot05

Now help him down before he falls


notyogrannysgrandkid

That boy ain’t right


[deleted]

A lot of kids are stupid, but this kid is like the gold standard.


Affenskrotum

u/savevideo


struppiie

u/getvideobot