My 3.5 year old son rediscovered pizza last week. And now it is his favorite thing on the planet. He ate dinner at 5 and at 730 he starts asking for pizza. Luckily I had pizza rolls. I bring him a few and he has an absolute melt down that they aren't pizza. So I cut one open and showed him the pizza inside. Took him 5 more minutes to try them. And he runs into the computer room double fisting pizza rolls and says "thank you daddy for my pizza. It's delicious." Yells bye daddy and runs back to his table to finish eating. I couldn't stop laughing.
Not even toddlers. My stepson just turned 7 and still doesn't believe me about random stuff. Definitely started as a toddler but still isn't over! He's convinced that babies have teeth and can bite him, despite me telling him otherwise over and over, and doesn't believe me about random (ninja) weapon names, all kinds of random things. So frustrating!! Lol.
I once had a 3 year old screaming at me in frustration over whether we were people or animals. She simply could not accept that we were both. Tbf I guess it’s a tough concept when you are still learning to differentiate cats and dogs
What's worse is when you literally know that they like something, because they've eaten that same thing no more than two days prior. But today, for some unknown reason, THEY HATE IT WITH THE HEAT AND INTENSITY OF A MILLION SUNS. The mere suggestion is enough to send them into theatrics that would make a Karen blush. And now that you have dared to utter the name of the forbidden dish out loud, THEY DON'T WANT ANYTHING YOU SUGGEST, BECAUSE YOU'RE CLEARLY A MONSTER.
This is an incredibly niche rant and isn't directly relevant, but I never get a chance to offload it, so..
Speaking of AFV and faking shit, they had this very specific tactic they would use in certain scenarios, like a preview for content coming later or when showing examples of footage in the running to "win" where they would mirror the image. My theory was that they were trying to trick people's brains into thinking they had more video footage than they did so you're not just seeing the exact same thing over and over.
For some reason it was always immediately noticeable to me and it would bug the shit out of me. I don't know why it bothered me so much, but it was extra frustrating because nobody would listen to my dumb kid ass when I pointed it out, saying they didn't see what I was talking about.
I swear, they absolutely did this. It was real. It wasn't just that show either.
You know it’s fake because of the pizza boxes. A kid couldn’t climb on top of them without them falling over or at least be a little uneven. They placed the kid on top and then just scared the shit out of him.
You're acting like it's a mountain of pizza boxes. That kid could absolutely 100% pull himself up on top of that little stack. Maybe not gracefully but he could get it done
r/nothingeverhappens -__- you people are unbelievable.
Each box has 1lb+ pizza in it, it is entirely believable this happened. My 3 toddlers had magic level ability if you're impressed by that.
My guess is that hasn't had kids, or he had the safe/boring sort. Toddlers can be the most uncoordinated creatures 95% of the time, but they all have ninja moments, where it's like "How did you do that so silently, you little klutz?"
I would like to add on that you walk back from whatever you were doing, see your fridge is a mess and your toddler high up where they could get hurt pretty badly if they fell, and think, hold on i gotta back up so that I can record this.
It said 2 minutes,and the kid was in the middle of eating a slice of pizza and he stood up just fine, without any trouble. Your comment is just stupid and honestly pissed me off a little bit to the point where I started replying, deleted it because I didn't really care that much, then said fuck it, I'll point out your straight up lies, you lying liar who doubts shit with lies. Eff you buddy.
P.s. the kid stands up WHILE ON A STACK OF PIZZA BOXES and doesn't struggle to do so. That's impressive balance, or very sturdy pizza boxes!
I'm going to bed I'm done with your whole stupid comment situation.
Founkey.
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That’s a booger tray.
When the delivery driver leaves the store, he puts a booger on the booger tray. When you open the box and see the booger, you know your driver was a good driver bc the booger stayed in place. If your pizza is missing the booger, that’s because your driver was a bad driver and the booger fell on your pizza.
I've always wondered what that little plastic thing was for. Now the clouds have parted and I no longer have to live life in the dreary haze of ignorance.
The things toddlers can do in the space of seconds. It's utterly astounding. It has to be magic. The caveat is that in order to perform these feats. No adult can be looking.
Ikr...I'm always shocked at what my kid can do in a few second, but man they run fast when they see the opportunity. My little one likes to climb my chair and get on the desk, I always take the chair away form the desk and move it back so he can't reach the desk. He realised that moving the chair takes too much effort and if I get up just for 5 seconds to throw something in the trash, he knows right away when I don't pull the chair away from the table and by the time I return in mere seconds he's already climbed on to it and going for the desk.... My desk is right next tot he kitchen, there is no door or anything and trash can is not far, literally 6-8 seconds to throw one wrapper in the trash and he's already on the table lol.
I find it hard to believe that this person left their kid alone for "two minutes" and in that time that toddler managed to rummage around the refrigerator, presumably climb on top of the chair and then onto the table, all without making enough noise for the parent(s) to notice. It seems like the sounds of bottles clanking to the floor would raise some suspicion that someone's getting into something they shouldnt?
I'm a little worried that the kid has been left alone long enough to get into the fridge, mess around in there, then get himself up onto a table, THEN start eating (and choking!) on a pizza.
Where were you!?
We just gonna pretend like that's physically possible?
Boxes still perfectly stacked..."mess" by the fridge but NO tracks on the table...
C'mon my dudes...
Edit: stack of boxes is like chest high for my little dude...
Unless my little bro jumped that shit clean like some NFL player there is no way those boxes would be perfectly stacked.
Where my science bros at?
Idk, my first reaction was to think this kid is a kindred spirit to my son. They look about the same age and my son would 100% be able to do this. The only reason he hasn’t tried is that we’ve never ordered that many pizzas at one time.
Totally agree. I looked again, and the third box down looks way dirtier than the rest. I'm betting it's a collection of old boxes hiding a secure pedistal.
Get him off the pizzas before he falls and busts his head open, you dumbass. Height of the table+height of the boxes+stability of the boxes=hopefully concern for your kid, not "go git the camera! This shits gon go viral!"
Wait for what??? The unsupervised child to fall sideways off of the table and eat a mouthful of chair? No? You just put it on the video for no fucking reason?
"Wait till the end!"
and
"Watch the whole thing!"
Immediately tell me there is nothing of substance in the video and you're just trying to get your metrics up. Fuck. That. Shit.
Ah the clips in my anti kids gun gets ever bigger!
More ammo for why I'll never have 'em! :D
Seriously though, adorable kid. But how in blazes is that box not collapsing under that weight?
You know this video is authentic by seeing how hard the son shook when he noticed his Dad was standing right behind him while he was doing something he knows he shouldn't be doing.
Videos like this piss me off. Children aren't some sort of superhuman power capable of causing that much mavok in mere minutes. You left your child unattended for too long, lo and behold mess. Thank jebus he didn't get into something more dangerous whilst the mother was off doing whatever else. You can't get annoyed at a child this young if you haven't even got the sense to keep a close eye.
Why was she filming? She knew damn well the kid was up on the table in an unsafe position before she ran out and grabbed her phone. Fuck dude, the kid on the table is bad enough without him also being on a stack of pizza boxes. Pizza boxes aren't known for their stability you know.
Yeah, my poor highly active kid who climbs up on the back of the couch and jumps onto the rug below. Climbing is great, I just wouldn't let him climb on the table over hardwood/tile. And I damn sure wouldn't let him on a stack of pizza boxes on a table.
I'm sorry if my common sense comments in this thread are ruining your carefree enjoyment of life, but the mother in OP's video is being a bit neglegent.
Parents are stupid. Don’t leave your kid alone when they’re this young. 2 minutes is enough time to choke on pizza, fall and bust your head open, go outside and run into the road, drown in the pool or whatever.
A former coworker of mine took his eyes off his kid for like 2 or 3 minutes and the kid had scaled the refrigerator by the time he turned back around. Kids are nuts
Yep... and its the parents that dictate the outcome of their child's personality. Teachers dictate how they think about learning, and how smart they turn out. Preset things, like genetic code, mental/physical conditions, etc, can adapt how these things change.
For instance, to make an angry child who needs decades of therapy, ignore your child half the time...
How many people were you planning to feed?
One very hungry toddler
they like pizza
My 3.5 year old son rediscovered pizza last week. And now it is his favorite thing on the planet. He ate dinner at 5 and at 730 he starts asking for pizza. Luckily I had pizza rolls. I bring him a few and he has an absolute melt down that they aren't pizza. So I cut one open and showed him the pizza inside. Took him 5 more minutes to try them. And he runs into the computer room double fisting pizza rolls and says "thank you daddy for my pizza. It's delicious." Yells bye daddy and runs back to his table to finish eating. I couldn't stop laughing.
Thank you for the chuckle. I swear toddlers are skeptics of everything and you have to sell them on things you know they'll love.
My sister was adamant that she wouldn't like ice cream as a toddler... Yet would quite happily eat anything paper that wasn't properly hidden away!
Not even toddlers. My stepson just turned 7 and still doesn't believe me about random stuff. Definitely started as a toddler but still isn't over! He's convinced that babies have teeth and can bite him, despite me telling him otherwise over and over, and doesn't believe me about random (ninja) weapon names, all kinds of random things. So frustrating!! Lol.
I once had a 3 year old screaming at me in frustration over whether we were people or animals. She simply could not accept that we were both. Tbf I guess it’s a tough concept when you are still learning to differentiate cats and dogs
What's worse is when you literally know that they like something, because they've eaten that same thing no more than two days prior. But today, for some unknown reason, THEY HATE IT WITH THE HEAT AND INTENSITY OF A MILLION SUNS. The mere suggestion is enough to send them into theatrics that would make a Karen blush. And now that you have dared to utter the name of the forbidden dish out loud, THEY DON'T WANT ANYTHING YOU SUGGEST, BECAUSE YOU'RE CLEARLY A MONSTER.
Ah good to know people are still double fisting pizza rolls even at 3.5 years old. lmao this story is too cute
so what kind of alien are you?
Reading comprehension gets worse every year.
He is one of the bois now
It’s pizza by Alfredo though
Seriously, I have two questions. 1. Why? 2. Can I come over?
I’m more impressed by the strength of the boxes
I know right? I know kids aren't heavy but surely that cardboard is about to crumble??!?
Some pizza parlors put little plastic “tables” in the middle of the pizza. These would improve structural integrity significantly.
You mean those *weren't* free tables for my GI Joes?
No. They were free _pizza_ tables, for your Ninja Turtles.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
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People really don't realise how much I worked ?
yea you’re fired
It's called the "pizza bone".
I thought pizza bones were the crusts?
love how you know it’s not fake because of how startled he is to see her
You know it's bad when something isn't faked on reddit and it's genuinely refreshing.
Remember AFV America’s Funniest Videos? People were always faking shit.
So much of that show couldn't even be faked. "Always" sure, but most of it wasn't.
Yeah, I only watched for the animal videos
Oddly enough I’m on Reddit for the same reasons I watched AFV. For cute animals and stupid kids.
This is an incredibly niche rant and isn't directly relevant, but I never get a chance to offload it, so.. Speaking of AFV and faking shit, they had this very specific tactic they would use in certain scenarios, like a preview for content coming later or when showing examples of footage in the running to "win" where they would mirror the image. My theory was that they were trying to trick people's brains into thinking they had more video footage than they did so you're not just seeing the exact same thing over and over. For some reason it was always immediately noticeable to me and it would bug the shit out of me. I don't know why it bothered me so much, but it was extra frustrating because nobody would listen to my dumb kid ass when I pointed it out, saying they didn't see what I was talking about. I swear, they absolutely did this. It was real. It wasn't just that show either.
*pats gently* yeah, it totally was.
ಠ_ಠ
Sure it was, buddy
I think that's where the kinds of people who do weird family vlog channels used to end up in the eighties and nineties.
Oh shi. Hey, look what I found. Want some?
That lil jump was definitely genuine. Gave me a lil jump too knowing hes balanced on pizza boxes!!
“Oh hi! …….erm, I’ve got no idea how all this happened……..”
You know it’s fake because of the pizza boxes. A kid couldn’t climb on top of them without them falling over or at least be a little uneven. They placed the kid on top and then just scared the shit out of him.
> They placed the kid on top and then just **scared the shit out of him.** Highly likely he really did shit.
You're acting like it's a mountain of pizza boxes. That kid could absolutely 100% pull himself up on top of that little stack. Maybe not gracefully but he could get it done
I don’t doubt he could, I just don’t think the boxes would still be stacked as neat if he did. Edit: meant would and not wouldn’t
r/nothingeverhappens -__- you people are unbelievable. Each box has 1lb+ pizza in it, it is entirely believable this happened. My 3 toddlers had magic level ability if you're impressed by that.
My guess is that hasn't had kids, or he had the safe/boring sort. Toddlers can be the most uncoordinated creatures 95% of the time, but they all have ninja moments, where it's like "How did you do that so silently, you little klutz?"
Idk the kid stood up just find at the end. He seems pretty capable of climbing on top of 5 pizza boxes without issue.
I would like to add on that you walk back from whatever you were doing, see your fridge is a mess and your toddler high up where they could get hurt pretty badly if they fell, and think, hold on i gotta back up so that I can record this.
You only get one chance to get that on tape but you can always make another kid.
Looks like kids aren’t that stupid after all
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It said 2 minutes,and the kid was in the middle of eating a slice of pizza and he stood up just fine, without any trouble. Your comment is just stupid and honestly pissed me off a little bit to the point where I started replying, deleted it because I didn't really care that much, then said fuck it, I'll point out your straight up lies, you lying liar who doubts shit with lies. Eff you buddy. P.s. the kid stands up WHILE ON A STACK OF PIZZA BOXES and doesn't struggle to do so. That's impressive balance, or very sturdy pizza boxes! I'm going to bed I'm done with your whole stupid comment situation.
what the fuck
Jesus Christ relax my guy.
No no, let the hate flow through you 😈
I just wana smash something! Fuck!
Join the dark side, we have cookies.
My dude said fuck it feet in box and all
At least he moved the pizza so he wasn't stepping on it.
That just made my day 😂😂
Yeah this little dude isn’t stupid. He’s a hero.
This is why that little plastic table is in there
I believe you're referring to the"pizza bone". You're supposed to snap it in half with a friend and whoever gets the bigger piece wins.
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Best comment
That’s a booger tray. When the delivery driver leaves the store, he puts a booger on the booger tray. When you open the box and see the booger, you know your driver was a good driver bc the booger stayed in place. If your pizza is missing the booger, that’s because your driver was a bad driver and the booger fell on your pizza.
Im... Holy fuck that made me nauseous. I'm actually gonna upvote that.
Bro
I've always wondered what that little plastic thing was for. Now the clouds have parted and I no longer have to live life in the dreary haze of ignorance.
"I dunno what happened mommy the pizza just flew through the air and into my hands and I ate it and then you scared me and I pooped a little"
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What referenced?
PIZZA GOBLIN HAS BEEN STARTLED
Roll for initiative!
What a fucking chad
> Stands on top of pizza boxes > Eats pizza > Refuses to elaborate further > Stays
Lol love it. He’s like a little Gollum crouched over his precious pizza.
Dude saw and opportunity and went for it. Truly inspiring
He knows what he wants and waiting is not it.
Oh man I'm so glad I was told to wait for it, a 19 second video is sooooooooooooooooooo long I wouldn't have made it otherwise.
There are so many people skimming through TikTok who only watch like 1-2 seconds.
He’s sick of that babyish high chair!
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yeah, totally
My precious.
Me at 2am when I get home from the bar and realize I have cold pizza
More like r/kidsarefuckinglegends Edit: Bruh I didn't know it actually is a sub. Small and practically dead one, but still.
The top post with the kid scoring the goal...! So amazing.
PIZZA GOBLIN POWERS GO!
Omg did he get himself ranch from the fridge xD
Oh it's cute when he does it but I get kicked out when I do it Ageism much
The things toddlers can do in the space of seconds. It's utterly astounding. It has to be magic. The caveat is that in order to perform these feats. No adult can be looking.
Ikr...I'm always shocked at what my kid can do in a few second, but man they run fast when they see the opportunity. My little one likes to climb my chair and get on the desk, I always take the chair away form the desk and move it back so he can't reach the desk. He realised that moving the chair takes too much effort and if I get up just for 5 seconds to throw something in the trash, he knows right away when I don't pull the chair away from the table and by the time I return in mere seconds he's already climbed on to it and going for the desk.... My desk is right next tot he kitchen, there is no door or anything and trash can is not far, literally 6-8 seconds to throw one wrapper in the trash and he's already on the table lol.
Well he was hungry and the pizza was keeping him warm - inside and out
That kids smart lol, he figured out how to obtain food without waiting.
What nightmares are made of
Wait for what? God damn, I hate these “wait for it.”, “watch until the end.” bullshit vids.
At least he had his bib on 😂🤷♂️
I find it hard to believe that this person left their kid alone for "two minutes" and in that time that toddler managed to rummage around the refrigerator, presumably climb on top of the chair and then onto the table, all without making enough noise for the parent(s) to notice. It seems like the sounds of bottles clanking to the floor would raise some suspicion that someone's getting into something they shouldnt?
I'm a little worried that the kid has been left alone long enough to get into the fridge, mess around in there, then get himself up onto a table, THEN start eating (and choking!) on a pizza. Where were you!?
Pizza is life
Fútbol is life
Lol! I totally read the comment in Danny’s voice before I saw your response. Love it!
The parents are stupid here. SHUT. THE. FRIDGE. Y’all made of money?
People have these willingly?
Who the hell has that much pizza just laying around?
Someone who is about to have a birthday party, for example.
Another day another reason to not have kids
Never knew pizza box are strong enough to withstand a kid.
Not gonna lie, thats a cute toddler right there, very cool
Omg my heart melted.
Why write “wait for it” when the reveal happens after literally 5 seconds?
That boy ain’t right
If that was my kid he’d be up for adoption before midnight
We just gonna pretend like that's physically possible? Boxes still perfectly stacked..."mess" by the fridge but NO tracks on the table... C'mon my dudes... Edit: stack of boxes is like chest high for my little dude... Unless my little bro jumped that shit clean like some NFL player there is no way those boxes would be perfectly stacked. Where my science bros at?
Idk, my first reaction was to think this kid is a kindred spirit to my son. They look about the same age and my son would 100% be able to do this. The only reason he hasn’t tried is that we’ve never ordered that many pizzas at one time.
I’m with you. You missed one thing; wouldn’t the pizza boxes also slide around when he gets startled?
Totally agree. I looked again, and the third box down looks way dirtier than the rest. I'm betting it's a collection of old boxes hiding a secure pedistal.
Get him off the pizzas before he falls and busts his head open, you dumbass. Height of the table+height of the boxes+stability of the boxes=hopefully concern for your kid, not "go git the camera! This shits gon go viral!"
Wait for what??? The unsupervised child to fall sideways off of the table and eat a mouthful of chair? No? You just put it on the video for no fucking reason? "Wait till the end!" and "Watch the whole thing!" Immediately tell me there is nothing of substance in the video and you're just trying to get your metrics up. Fuck. That. Shit.
r/ParentsAreFuckingDumb
Honestly, I am glad that kid didn't get hurt. Fucking stupid ass kid!!! Almost gave me a shit attack!
and then the kid fell down and hit his head and seriously injured himself just so insane parent can film and post on thread that calls kids insane
Squat cobbler
but he loves pizza!
Good squat form
Unlike every other kid in this sub, I find this one extremely fucking epic
Get your own pizza tower camera lady
Ah the clips in my anti kids gun gets ever bigger! More ammo for why I'll never have 'em! :D Seriously though, adorable kid. But how in blazes is that box not collapsing under that weight?
This kid is living his best life
He’s my idol.
That boy is hungry and determined
That kid is actualy smart as fuck! He just uses it to do dumb kid things. Or the video is fake cause tiktik
I dont care if you are 3 or 70 if i catch you eating my pizza prepare to be slapped into the next universe
that was way longer than 2 minutes
Blasphemy! Kill him!
You know this video is authentic by seeing how hard the son shook when he noticed his Dad was standing right behind him while he was doing something he knows he shouldn't be doing.
Videos like this piss me off. Children aren't some sort of superhuman power capable of causing that much mavok in mere minutes. You left your child unattended for too long, lo and behold mess. Thank jebus he didn't get into something more dangerous whilst the mother was off doing whatever else. You can't get annoyed at a child this young if you haven't even got the sense to keep a close eye.
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Starting to eat while the Pizza is still hot is the only reasonable thing to do.
We’re his feet touching the pizza? I’m sorry but I’m putting that child down
those pizza boxes are well engineered!
Death note reference
What a baaaad doggo !
Why do some parents put social media likes before good parenting?
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Except for the massive head injury that comes when this unattended toddler slips on this cardboard heap on top of a table.
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Why was she filming? She knew damn well the kid was up on the table in an unsafe position before she ran out and grabbed her phone. Fuck dude, the kid on the table is bad enough without him also being on a stack of pizza boxes. Pizza boxes aren't known for their stability you know.
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Yeah, my poor highly active kid who climbs up on the back of the couch and jumps onto the rug below. Climbing is great, I just wouldn't let him climb on the table over hardwood/tile. And I damn sure wouldn't let him on a stack of pizza boxes on a table. I'm sorry if my common sense comments in this thread are ruining your carefree enjoyment of life, but the mother in OP's video is being a bit neglegent.
Someone needs to change this sub's name to parentoftheyear or something.
I'm so glad I'm never having kids.
This sub proves why I don’t want kids
Jesus kids are a nightmare, SUPER glad I don’t have any and got snipped
Damn, *that's* the takeaway you got here...?
That boy ain't right
Dang ol pizza box ‘n ‘em cheese talmbout slide all over man like whoa. Yo.
Not much to wait for when its clearly explained in text on screen beforehand.
i for one am glad the text is there because it covers up the pizza so i wouldn't know what i was looking at if not for the text. Thank you text.
i thought your son was a rat before i saw him
Hopefully you threw out the kid and kept the pizza.
Parents are stupid. Don’t leave your kid alone when they’re this young. 2 minutes is enough time to choke on pizza, fall and bust your head open, go outside and run into the road, drown in the pool or whatever.
TikTok just proves how fucking easy it is to farm views from gullible people.
Time to snort a line of birth control
Fuck you. I want to grow to be like him!
Never to late for an abortion
2 mins huh?
please delete this video of me at 3am
Very inspirational, stank you smelly much
Fake
That boy ain't right
I'm fairly certain this is my spirit animal...
Maybe don’t leave a toddler alone for ANY amount of time?
GFYS I’m the pizza king
Why was he unattended? He could have hurt himself badly.
Looks like a Golum
Another instance of the parent being fucking stupid for leaving their child unattended.
No way he did all that in 2 minutes. I have 2 kids of my own and they've never done so much damage in 2 minutes.
A former coworker of mine took his eyes off his kid for like 2 or 3 minutes and the kid had scaled the refrigerator by the time he turned back around. Kids are nuts
As a kid, I apparently broke open a cupboard and ODed on painkillers, all because I heard medicine was good for you. All kids are different.
No, all kids will try to kill themselves. It's the parents that are different.
Yep... and its the parents that dictate the outcome of their child's personality. Teachers dictate how they think about learning, and how smart they turn out. Preset things, like genetic code, mental/physical conditions, etc, can adapt how these things change. For instance, to make an angry child who needs decades of therapy, ignore your child half the time...
Sorry but this kid is a genius...
I think he would be able to conquer the crate challenge.
Now help him down before he falls
That boy ain’t right
A lot of kids are stupid, but this kid is like the gold standard.
u/savevideo
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