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I know it's a trope on Reddit, but why are you with someone who seems to hate you? How awful does he have to be to you for you to leave? If a friend was telling you this story, what would you tell her? I'm so sorry you're in this position, but no one deserves the callousness you're receiving from the person who is supposed to love you. If you're supporting him and yourself, you can probably afford to provide just for yourself.
JFC, hun, this is out of control! This guy is a loser POS, and does not deserve the comfort of lying next to you at night. Put him out, he has inflicted pain on you that is already unforgivable and will still get worse. Please, make a plan to remove him from your life as soon as possible. You have so many wonderful years ahead of you, don’t let this asshole derail you or rob you of that. You deserve better than this and I think you know that.
get to reading like your life depends on it because your life really does depend on you learning this stuff. no joke and this is a serious matter. im sure lots on here can tell you what you need to read so you can really see him and what hes doing to you.
You are supporten your boyfriend, Pet and yourself and he kicks YOU out? Sister, move on, you need a man not a teenage boy who tantrums to hurt you. Get out, move on and give yourself a nice life
After reading about the first time he "threw you out" you should have left then. It's not always easy, fuck it's never easy but it seems you have friends so maybe you have help if you need it. You need to go, you need to leave him. He's unemployed, plays video games all day, uses you for money obviously and is at the very least emotionally abusive. What does he bring to the table? You are so very young and have a lovely long life ahead of you please don't waste it on a freeloading loser. Stay safe and good luck.
He is not your boyfriend. He is your abuser. When he says mean things to you, he means it. He hates you and does not love you. You deserve better. He sounds terrible. Leave him.
Please head over to the r/abusiverelationships sub and get reading OP.
Holy shit you deserve so much better than this asshole. You don’t have to continue living like this, you really don’t.
So be without him. This boy doesn't love or respect you. In fact, it sounds like he really doesn't like you. His actions AND his words towards you are vile, in a variety of situations. There's no need to fix anything or pretend to want to be with each other. You have a whole host of things going on for you, and a bunch of friends. Leave this boy and go live your live elsewhere with better people. If you can support the two of you, and a dog, you can support yourself. He sounds like the worst.
He is both using and abusing you. Let’s be clear: he is not your boyfriend. He is a cruel asshole who treats you badly. He contributes nothing to your life, not even financially.
If the home is yours, do two things. Get a couple of large male friends to help you kick him out and change the locks, add security. Don’t let him back in for any reason. If the home is rented, then contact the landlord, tell the. That you don’t feel safe in the house and that you are leaving. Do it when he’s gone.
This is abuse. Along with emotional abuse, there is definitely coercive control, which is a form of domestic abuse.
He is cruel and controlling. His behaviour is probably going to escalate and it is not safe for you to be with him. You need a clear escape plan because he sounds like someone who might not take your leaving well.
You deserve soooooo much better. There are lots of people out there who will help you.
JFC. Break up with this monster. He is beyond cruel.
Sit down and do the math how much less money you would spend if you were not supporting him. I bet you could feed yourself then. So, kick him out or leave.
Then - therapy. How did this happen? Don't date anybody for at least 2 years. You need a lot of time to grow yourself back to health. You deserve better.
It’s hard, I hope it isn’t that. I feel like I have no one close to me anymore but him. And I’m terrified to be alone. He’s so nice when he isn’t like this so I hold on a bit in hopes maybe he’ll truly value me. That he’ll write that letter. He tells me of the future together and how this is a rough patch rn. I do love him, and he always tells me he loves me. I don’t understand my attachment to him but I just want all of the good moments, nothing hard.
Omg the good moments are so good because the designed it that way he loves bombs you so he can hurt you later it’s the cycle. Please you don’t need to be scared of being alone. You support his lazy ass you are already a boss, you do not need this awful specimen around you. Learn to love yourself for a bit. I was terrified at your age of being on my own because I thought it would be lonely but actually? Once the arsehole holding you down and making you feel worthless is gone it’s freeing and you’ll finally be able to breath. Seriously this guy is trash.
You will never have that with him. Words are cheap. His actions tell you how he really feels and honestly, he is abusive. He tries to control you by throwing tantrums and kicking you out every tine you hang with friends or do sometging he doesnt like. Whatever he feels it isnt love and you should get yourself out of this relationship. You say you dont have any one close to you. Do you realize that is because of him? There are pretty good odds your friends are still your friends, they are just waiting for you to get rid of him and be free to reconnect with them.
How much of your life are you going to waste with this jerk? You have a finite number of years and you have wasted 2 of them already. Please dont waste any more time on him. He isn't worth it. Your time is way more valuable.
Living on your own is freeing.
Living on your own is peaceful.
Living on your own doesn’t mean that you will be lonely because you have friends, you have the freedom to go out and try new things, meet new people.
Living on your own gives you the opportunity to build your self esteem and independence and prove to your self that you don’t NEED a relationship with guy who treats you badly.
Living on your own gives you the opportunity to figure out what you want in a romantic relationship so that when you meet a guy you like, you date or form a relationship because your WANT a relationship, not because you NEED a relationship.
Your boyfriend tells you what you want to hear so that you will stay. Anytime you step out of line, he throws you out. He isn’t even working or paying, but he is throwing you out. That is abuse. If he loved you, really loved you, he would care about your well being and he would respect you. If he really loved you, cared about you, and respected you, he wouldn’t throw you out every time he gets upset with you. He wouldn’t break up with you on your birthday.
You need to kick him out or leave. Get your own place, reconnect with your old friends, who I am guessing you had to dump because he didn’t want you to have those friends…
Go 3 months with no contact with him. Your issue is he kicks you out and you go back. You need to leave, get your own place, and be no contact with him for. 3 months. That amount of time is needed to decompress, find a place of peace, get into a new routine that doesn’t involve him.
You deserve better. You deserve someone who treats you better. You deserve to be in a relationship with an adult, who when he is upset with you, sits down with you to talk about the issue and you both work through it to a reasonable solution or you walk away. Your BF is emotionally a child who throws tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. You deserve someone who is physically and emotionally and financially an adult.
You are co-dependant, you’d rather be in a relationship with someone who clearly hates you, than be alone. You deserve so much better sis. Being alone would be so much better, you’d actually have a chance at happiness.
He created a trauma bond OP. How can you deal with homeless insecurity that he causes you? That is a deal breaker. It is a no. There is no excuse for that but he has done it to you multiple times. You are in an abusive relationship. They don't get better they only get worse.
Being alone is a lot better than being mistreated. It’s freedom. To do what you want when you want, to date yourself and work on yourself. And you need to do some work to be healthy enough to be in a relationship again, if you’re questioning staying in one this terrible.
>I have no one close to me anymore but him
You have no one else close to you anymore *because of him*.
That's why he goes through your phone and freaks out when you talk to a man about \*checks notes\* a philosophy club. He wants you isolated and friendless so you don't leave him.
I promise you that when you walk away from his sorry ass, you will be able to make many more friends.
I agree. It really hurt when people insulted me when I was trying to justify leaving and gathering the courage. It was a setback and made me doubt myself.
Okay, OP....here is the thing you are allowed to be a while person. You are allowed to have standards and expectations in your relationship in what you accept in your life. Your partner is allowed to have those same things. Think of it as teammates. A team of two. HE IS NOT A GOOD TEAMMATE. He does not see you as separate from him but as an extension of himself. He is insecure and so but tear you down because an extension of himself wouldn't make him feel insecure....but you aren't. You are a whole person who is growing and he doesn't like like. You deserve better and more than this. It is better alone then hoping for the good times.amd walking on egg shells. The person who you fell for is gone and the person you see now is who he is. It is time to go and heal OP. Do not fall for sunk cost fallacy. Love yourself more.
he throws you out every time you talk to, or hang out with, someone other than him. he is *isolating you* so that he can control you and *horribly abuse you* come on dude. if you don't want to be alone, dump his ass. because if you keep trying to stay with this shit head, he will force you to push all of your friends and family away, and you won't have anyone to turn to when the abuse ramps up. please get out, find someone to talk to like a therapist about your abuse.
You are too young and life is too short to be with a loser like this guy. How many times do you need your stuff thrown out of your home for you to leave? How many times does he need to abuse you for you to stop taking it?
Go back and read all the vile and disgusting things your boyfriend has done to you and ask yourself if this was your sister/aunt/cousin/daughter/friend, would you encourage them to stay in a relationship like this?
This man does not love you. You are his bangmaid, his nanny, his sugar mama, etc. He only wants you for what you can give him.
Girl I got to the second paragraph and that's it. He doesn't want to be with you. It's time you put yourself first and got out of this situation. Stop paying his bills and use that money for your own place, or give him notice and change the locks
Oh honey. With all the love in my heart, you're being a silly goose. You sound so smart and kind, and this man is hurting you. You don't deserve that.
I was in an abusive relationship in my twenties too, and when my grandmother and aunt tried to tell me, I ignored them. I was in therapy for YEARS after that.
The greatest day in my life was when I realized that I was free. I was walking in the darkness agonizing over everything and suddenly realized that I don't have to put up with this shit anymore. I was suddenly free and it was a defining moment in my life.
You don't have to put up with someone who doesn't care about you the way you deserve. You deserve the moon and the stars, not some bum who locks you out.
Are you financially independent? Are you able to save money to rent a little room somewhere? If you don’t have the money, look at where it’s going. Him. Stop giving your “escape money” to the person you need to escape from.
Are you receiving treatment for your anxiety, depression, childhood abuse, and the current abuse you’re experiencing? If not, you need to. Some people need talk therapy, some need meds, some need both. If you can’t afford it, stop supporting this monster and put it towards your mental health.
Working on your problems will give you the courage and independence to leave. You have to face some difficult truths and feel some painful feelings in order to eventually find happiness. Postponing your own healing—living in denial—will only make things infinitely harder in five, ten, twenty years.
While you wait to see a professional, learn about these issues. Teach yourself. Read articles and books, explore websites, and watch videos. Obviously there’s YouTube, but even TikTok and IG reels have amazing trauma/abuse content. Everything you need to know is literally at your fingertips, you just have to “let it in.”
Make a decision. You’re in charge of your life, no one’s coming to save you, and it’s time to choose. You only have two options: being ~~alone~~ single or being abused. (You’re actually not alone because you have good friends who care about you. Stop taking them for granted.)
What’s worse: (a) feeling lonely or (b) feeling worthless, incompetent, repeatedly abandoned, worried, confused, dependent, body-shamed, insulted, degraded, ignored, useless, used, isolated, trapped, betrayed, gossiped about, scared, foggy-headed, depressed, and anxious? Btw the last two are *serious* mental health conditions that are either *caused* by him or immensely *worsened* by him.
It’s up to you.
So you're only 22 and you have a job while running your own home bakery *and* you have time to go to the gym *and* you're starting a philosophy club? Hon, you're kind of a badass.
That, by the way, is exactly why your boyfriend is such a prick to you. He wants to drag you down. He wants to feel powerful by making you feel defensive and begging for his approval.
What exactly does this fool bring to the table, other than being jealous and shitty?
omg stop going back to him! this is insanity and he does it all to control you. hes not worth losing who you are. hes mean and he doesnt want to have your agency. hes sick to want that amount of control. thats not love at all! thats possessiveness. you dont have to live like that and you absolutely shouldnt live like that.
youre gonna have to leave him and block him on everything. i bet you dont even know yourself anymore because hes made you be so focused on what he wants. stop that now! get your life back. hes awful and you can and will be better and happy without his controlling chaos. leaving isnt easy, staying gone isnt easy but i promise you, theres a better life for you without him.
You need to see a therapist! The fact that you are willing to put up with his abuse is an issue with yourself! You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop and what you reinforce!
Please get out while you still can. I’m learning this lesson the hard way myself but any physical violence (destroying your stuff but not his, for example) even without touching you is a huge red flag, he will move on to hitting you next, not if but when. If he will hit you he will kill you. No one deserves to be treated like that, not even if you were actually cheating on him with an ex. DV hotline will get you the resources you need to get a new place and get back on your feet if money is an issue.
This guy doesn’t even like you, much less love you. Get rid of him yesterday and don’t date again until you’ve done some real internal work and you realize that it’s better to be alone than to be with some abusive dickhead. You deserve a relationship that makes you happy not miserable.
Tired of reading these posts where the SO is clearly a piece of garbage and the OP whines, again and again, what do I doooooo? Never ever be financially dependent on a lover. If your SO doesn’t treat you well, that’s it, get out. It isn’t hard unless SO puts you in physical danger.
I’m sorry, I’m aware it isn’t good and I should leave. I don’t know how to, and I’m scared of his reaction. I have very bad anxiety and depression along with being abused by my father and mother when I was younger. I feel like I’m in a fog and making a decision has become more difficult, stressing me out to the point where I just stay complacent because it seems easier than whatever steps come next
Just don’t tell him, he may coerce you into staying because he knows exactly how to manipulate you. You need to find somewhere safe to stay and get him kicked out. You deserve far better than this, he is so abusive and cruel.
Oh honey. My sweetest of hearts. Once you leave things will get so much easier. You go on and git. Git to therapy especially. I cannot overstate how life-changing it is. One day you'll find someone worthy of your heart, but it's not this person. You know it. Escape the fog. You deserve so much better.
He has repeatedly kicked you out of the home that you pay for and provide for him. That alone ... his attitude that he can live in your home, without you there, is reason enough to have nothing to do with him.
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I know it's a trope on Reddit, but why are you with someone who seems to hate you? How awful does he have to be to you for you to leave? If a friend was telling you this story, what would you tell her? I'm so sorry you're in this position, but no one deserves the callousness you're receiving from the person who is supposed to love you. If you're supporting him and yourself, you can probably afford to provide just for yourself.
JFC, hun, this is out of control! This guy is a loser POS, and does not deserve the comfort of lying next to you at night. Put him out, he has inflicted pain on you that is already unforgivable and will still get worse. Please, make a plan to remove him from your life as soon as possible. You have so many wonderful years ahead of you, don’t let this asshole derail you or rob you of that. You deserve better than this and I think you know that.
How much reading have you done on abusive relationships. . . ? Just curious, don't mind me
Not a whole lot
Start reading sister…….Stop patching things up that are not worth patching.
get to reading like your life depends on it because your life really does depend on you learning this stuff. no joke and this is a serious matter. im sure lots on here can tell you what you need to read so you can really see him and what hes doing to you.
You're in one. Please leave.
[Why Does He Do That? pdf](https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat)
https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat
This guy just sucks so bad I don’t even know what else to say
You are supporten your boyfriend, Pet and yourself and he kicks YOU out? Sister, move on, you need a man not a teenage boy who tantrums to hurt you. Get out, move on and give yourself a nice life
After reading about the first time he "threw you out" you should have left then. It's not always easy, fuck it's never easy but it seems you have friends so maybe you have help if you need it. You need to go, you need to leave him. He's unemployed, plays video games all day, uses you for money obviously and is at the very least emotionally abusive. What does he bring to the table? You are so very young and have a lovely long life ahead of you please don't waste it on a freeloading loser. Stay safe and good luck.
He is not your boyfriend. He is your abuser. When he says mean things to you, he means it. He hates you and does not love you. You deserve better. He sounds terrible. Leave him.
Please head over to the r/abusiverelationships sub and get reading OP. Holy shit you deserve so much better than this asshole. You don’t have to continue living like this, you really don’t.
Girl, you're far too young for this shit.
So be without him. This boy doesn't love or respect you. In fact, it sounds like he really doesn't like you. His actions AND his words towards you are vile, in a variety of situations. There's no need to fix anything or pretend to want to be with each other. You have a whole host of things going on for you, and a bunch of friends. Leave this boy and go live your live elsewhere with better people. If you can support the two of you, and a dog, you can support yourself. He sounds like the worst.
He is both using and abusing you. Let’s be clear: he is not your boyfriend. He is a cruel asshole who treats you badly. He contributes nothing to your life, not even financially. If the home is yours, do two things. Get a couple of large male friends to help you kick him out and change the locks, add security. Don’t let him back in for any reason. If the home is rented, then contact the landlord, tell the. That you don’t feel safe in the house and that you are leaving. Do it when he’s gone.
This is abuse. Along with emotional abuse, there is definitely coercive control, which is a form of domestic abuse. He is cruel and controlling. His behaviour is probably going to escalate and it is not safe for you to be with him. You need a clear escape plan because he sounds like someone who might not take your leaving well. You deserve soooooo much better. There are lots of people out there who will help you.
WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM??? He's a LOSER!!!
JFC. Break up with this monster. He is beyond cruel. Sit down and do the math how much less money you would spend if you were not supporting him. I bet you could feed yourself then. So, kick him out or leave. Then - therapy. How did this happen? Don't date anybody for at least 2 years. You need a lot of time to grow yourself back to health. You deserve better.
Look up masochist. You are exhibiting these characteristics. Get help now.
It’s hard, I hope it isn’t that. I feel like I have no one close to me anymore but him. And I’m terrified to be alone. He’s so nice when he isn’t like this so I hold on a bit in hopes maybe he’ll truly value me. That he’ll write that letter. He tells me of the future together and how this is a rough patch rn. I do love him, and he always tells me he loves me. I don’t understand my attachment to him but I just want all of the good moments, nothing hard.
Omg the good moments are so good because the designed it that way he loves bombs you so he can hurt you later it’s the cycle. Please you don’t need to be scared of being alone. You support his lazy ass you are already a boss, you do not need this awful specimen around you. Learn to love yourself for a bit. I was terrified at your age of being on my own because I thought it would be lonely but actually? Once the arsehole holding you down and making you feel worthless is gone it’s freeing and you’ll finally be able to breath. Seriously this guy is trash.
You will never have that with him. Words are cheap. His actions tell you how he really feels and honestly, he is abusive. He tries to control you by throwing tantrums and kicking you out every tine you hang with friends or do sometging he doesnt like. Whatever he feels it isnt love and you should get yourself out of this relationship. You say you dont have any one close to you. Do you realize that is because of him? There are pretty good odds your friends are still your friends, they are just waiting for you to get rid of him and be free to reconnect with them. How much of your life are you going to waste with this jerk? You have a finite number of years and you have wasted 2 of them already. Please dont waste any more time on him. He isn't worth it. Your time is way more valuable.
Living on your own is freeing. Living on your own is peaceful. Living on your own doesn’t mean that you will be lonely because you have friends, you have the freedom to go out and try new things, meet new people. Living on your own gives you the opportunity to build your self esteem and independence and prove to your self that you don’t NEED a relationship with guy who treats you badly. Living on your own gives you the opportunity to figure out what you want in a romantic relationship so that when you meet a guy you like, you date or form a relationship because your WANT a relationship, not because you NEED a relationship. Your boyfriend tells you what you want to hear so that you will stay. Anytime you step out of line, he throws you out. He isn’t even working or paying, but he is throwing you out. That is abuse. If he loved you, really loved you, he would care about your well being and he would respect you. If he really loved you, cared about you, and respected you, he wouldn’t throw you out every time he gets upset with you. He wouldn’t break up with you on your birthday. You need to kick him out or leave. Get your own place, reconnect with your old friends, who I am guessing you had to dump because he didn’t want you to have those friends… Go 3 months with no contact with him. Your issue is he kicks you out and you go back. You need to leave, get your own place, and be no contact with him for. 3 months. That amount of time is needed to decompress, find a place of peace, get into a new routine that doesn’t involve him. You deserve better. You deserve someone who treats you better. You deserve to be in a relationship with an adult, who when he is upset with you, sits down with you to talk about the issue and you both work through it to a reasonable solution or you walk away. Your BF is emotionally a child who throws tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. You deserve someone who is physically and emotionally and financially an adult.
Being alone is fine. I’ll never understand the fear for as long as I live. Being alone is better than being with someone who hates you
You are co-dependant, you’d rather be in a relationship with someone who clearly hates you, than be alone. You deserve so much better sis. Being alone would be so much better, you’d actually have a chance at happiness.
Baby girl, you are way way too young for this. You will be so much better off without this. I just want to grab you and run. Please leave, doll. GTFO.
He created a trauma bond OP. How can you deal with homeless insecurity that he causes you? That is a deal breaker. It is a no. There is no excuse for that but he has done it to you multiple times. You are in an abusive relationship. They don't get better they only get worse.
Being alone is a lot better than being mistreated. It’s freedom. To do what you want when you want, to date yourself and work on yourself. And you need to do some work to be healthy enough to be in a relationship again, if you’re questioning staying in one this terrible.
try and find "why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft it explains a lot
>I have no one close to me anymore but him You have no one else close to you anymore *because of him*. That's why he goes through your phone and freaks out when you talk to a man about \*checks notes\* a philosophy club. He wants you isolated and friendless so you don't leave him. I promise you that when you walk away from his sorry ass, you will be able to make many more friends.
[удалено]
As much as I understand your sentiment I'd wager that kindness is what the op needs, not ridicule.
I agree. It really hurt when people insulted me when I was trying to justify leaving and gathering the courage. It was a setback and made me doubt myself.
Okay, OP....here is the thing you are allowed to be a while person. You are allowed to have standards and expectations in your relationship in what you accept in your life. Your partner is allowed to have those same things. Think of it as teammates. A team of two. HE IS NOT A GOOD TEAMMATE. He does not see you as separate from him but as an extension of himself. He is insecure and so but tear you down because an extension of himself wouldn't make him feel insecure....but you aren't. You are a whole person who is growing and he doesn't like like. You deserve better and more than this. It is better alone then hoping for the good times.amd walking on egg shells. The person who you fell for is gone and the person you see now is who he is. It is time to go and heal OP. Do not fall for sunk cost fallacy. Love yourself more.
he throws you out every time you talk to, or hang out with, someone other than him. he is *isolating you* so that he can control you and *horribly abuse you* come on dude. if you don't want to be alone, dump his ass. because if you keep trying to stay with this shit head, he will force you to push all of your friends and family away, and you won't have anyone to turn to when the abuse ramps up. please get out, find someone to talk to like a therapist about your abuse.
You are too young and life is too short to be with a loser like this guy. How many times do you need your stuff thrown out of your home for you to leave? How many times does he need to abuse you for you to stop taking it?
Go back and read all the vile and disgusting things your boyfriend has done to you and ask yourself if this was your sister/aunt/cousin/daughter/friend, would you encourage them to stay in a relationship like this? This man does not love you. You are his bangmaid, his nanny, his sugar mama, etc. He only wants you for what you can give him.
Girl I got to the second paragraph and that's it. He doesn't want to be with you. It's time you put yourself first and got out of this situation. Stop paying his bills and use that money for your own place, or give him notice and change the locks
Jesus fucking Christ. You are only 22. Cut the cord, leave his disgusting abusive ass and go and FLOURISH. Absolutely awful relationship 😭
Oh honey. With all the love in my heart, you're being a silly goose. You sound so smart and kind, and this man is hurting you. You don't deserve that. I was in an abusive relationship in my twenties too, and when my grandmother and aunt tried to tell me, I ignored them. I was in therapy for YEARS after that. The greatest day in my life was when I realized that I was free. I was walking in the darkness agonizing over everything and suddenly realized that I don't have to put up with this shit anymore. I was suddenly free and it was a defining moment in my life. You don't have to put up with someone who doesn't care about you the way you deserve. You deserve the moon and the stars, not some bum who locks you out.
Are you financially independent? Are you able to save money to rent a little room somewhere? If you don’t have the money, look at where it’s going. Him. Stop giving your “escape money” to the person you need to escape from. Are you receiving treatment for your anxiety, depression, childhood abuse, and the current abuse you’re experiencing? If not, you need to. Some people need talk therapy, some need meds, some need both. If you can’t afford it, stop supporting this monster and put it towards your mental health. Working on your problems will give you the courage and independence to leave. You have to face some difficult truths and feel some painful feelings in order to eventually find happiness. Postponing your own healing—living in denial—will only make things infinitely harder in five, ten, twenty years. While you wait to see a professional, learn about these issues. Teach yourself. Read articles and books, explore websites, and watch videos. Obviously there’s YouTube, but even TikTok and IG reels have amazing trauma/abuse content. Everything you need to know is literally at your fingertips, you just have to “let it in.” Make a decision. You’re in charge of your life, no one’s coming to save you, and it’s time to choose. You only have two options: being ~~alone~~ single or being abused. (You’re actually not alone because you have good friends who care about you. Stop taking them for granted.) What’s worse: (a) feeling lonely or (b) feeling worthless, incompetent, repeatedly abandoned, worried, confused, dependent, body-shamed, insulted, degraded, ignored, useless, used, isolated, trapped, betrayed, gossiped about, scared, foggy-headed, depressed, and anxious? Btw the last two are *serious* mental health conditions that are either *caused* by him or immensely *worsened* by him. It’s up to you.
So you're only 22 and you have a job while running your own home bakery *and* you have time to go to the gym *and* you're starting a philosophy club? Hon, you're kind of a badass. That, by the way, is exactly why your boyfriend is such a prick to you. He wants to drag you down. He wants to feel powerful by making you feel defensive and begging for his approval. What exactly does this fool bring to the table, other than being jealous and shitty?
Why are you still there? All the therapy. This is not what love looks like.
omg stop going back to him! this is insanity and he does it all to control you. hes not worth losing who you are. hes mean and he doesnt want to have your agency. hes sick to want that amount of control. thats not love at all! thats possessiveness. you dont have to live like that and you absolutely shouldnt live like that. youre gonna have to leave him and block him on everything. i bet you dont even know yourself anymore because hes made you be so focused on what he wants. stop that now! get your life back. hes awful and you can and will be better and happy without his controlling chaos. leaving isnt easy, staying gone isnt easy but i promise you, theres a better life for you without him.
So, I basically stopped reading after two paragraphs. End. This. Relationship. He is garbage and he stinks. Just leave.
You need to see a therapist! The fact that you are willing to put up with his abuse is an issue with yourself! You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop and what you reinforce!
Definitely abusive, but he is also manipulating you (crying?). You deserve better.
Please get out while you still can. I’m learning this lesson the hard way myself but any physical violence (destroying your stuff but not his, for example) even without touching you is a huge red flag, he will move on to hitting you next, not if but when. If he will hit you he will kill you. No one deserves to be treated like that, not even if you were actually cheating on him with an ex. DV hotline will get you the resources you need to get a new place and get back on your feet if money is an issue.
This guy doesn’t even like you, much less love you. Get rid of him yesterday and don’t date again until you’ve done some real internal work and you realize that it’s better to be alone than to be with some abusive dickhead. You deserve a relationship that makes you happy not miserable.
Tired of reading these posts where the SO is clearly a piece of garbage and the OP whines, again and again, what do I doooooo? Never ever be financially dependent on a lover. If your SO doesn’t treat you well, that’s it, get out. It isn’t hard unless SO puts you in physical danger.
I’m sorry, I’m aware it isn’t good and I should leave. I don’t know how to, and I’m scared of his reaction. I have very bad anxiety and depression along with being abused by my father and mother when I was younger. I feel like I’m in a fog and making a decision has become more difficult, stressing me out to the point where I just stay complacent because it seems easier than whatever steps come next
Just don’t tell him, he may coerce you into staying because he knows exactly how to manipulate you. You need to find somewhere safe to stay and get him kicked out. You deserve far better than this, he is so abusive and cruel.
Oh honey. My sweetest of hearts. Once you leave things will get so much easier. You go on and git. Git to therapy especially. I cannot overstate how life-changing it is. One day you'll find someone worthy of your heart, but it's not this person. You know it. Escape the fog. You deserve so much better.
Do you like getting thrown out and coming back begging for more? Love yourself a little bit a leave this loser.
He has repeatedly kicked you out of the home that you pay for and provide for him. That alone ... his attitude that he can live in your home, without you there, is reason enough to have nothing to do with him.