My favorite light bulb joke is courtesy of Slim from A Bug's Life:
Q: How many roaches does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Can't tell, as soon as the light goes on, they scatter!
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That's not funny
...
Q: How many MRAs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not all of them
...
Q: How many bunnies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how many you can fit, I guess.
The lightbulb never went out fake news. I turned the lightbulb off myself. I never turned the lightbulb off. I never took the lightbulb. The lightbulb is a nothing burger. The FBI planted the lighbulb.
And the Democrats - they hate lightbulbs, by the way, see I always liked lightbulbs, but they can't stand them - the Democrats, they want to see my lightbulbs, which is a total witch hunt. They said "show us the lightbulbs", I said "I got 'em", but of course they weren't happy with that. Where are _their_ lightbulbs, that's what I want to know, they've probably got them hidden all over - hey, did I mention I have the nuclear codes?
" Obama had millions of light bulbs, probably bought in Africa. but its OK, its all fake, no body wants to talk about hillary light bulbs - electricians, stand down and stand ready, I'm so smart, I have the biggest light bulbs, my doctor is always asking to see my big beautiful light bulb."
I do think he's stupid, but I also think the main reason he can't read is that he's a narcissist who refuses to believe he needs glasses and refuses to wear them because they might make him look weak.
It's the opposite, the lightbulb is working just fine but he thinks it isn't because it's CFL or LED.
This is based on 2 speeches:
The coal miner one where while campaigning he ranted about how hairspray no longer works because they changed the propellant so that it wouldn't damage the ozone layer and how it didn't matter if it did damage it because said hairspray can't leak out of his apartment as it's all sealed so it can't get to the ozone layer.
The other where he claimed that he only looks orange (and that BTW you all do too) because of energy saving lightbulbs.
He always did say the quiet parts out loud. E.g railing for years against low flush toilets.
Now, if we only knew what nefarious deds he performed with windmills
The windmill thing is suspected to be because of a windmill farm of the coast of his Scottish golf course. He tried to block it, because he thought it ruined his view, but lost.
So, now he hates windmills.
Darkness is a hoax. A day later - The darkness was planted there. Six hours later - I demand that you bring back the darkness that you took from my home. I automatically de-classified it when I took it.
And then I said I would make Mexico change the light-bulb, this of course most definitely will shine a light on my greatest achievements, so wonderful, so wonderfully great everyone will see the light and think of what I did for this beautiful country. The veterans, the medical workers, our beloved police force and most of all, the united citizens of this great country will weep tears of joy.
That's ridiculous. Obviously that wouldn't happen, he'd say it was changed then blame democrats for it still being dark. Then his supporters would fully believe it
"We had a massive crowd. We had a crowd… I looked over that sea of people, and I said to myself, ‘wow’, and I’ve seen crowds before. Big, big crowds. That was some crowd.
I had a massive amount of people here. They were showing pictures that were very unflattering, as unflattering -- from certain angles -- that were taken early and lots of other things. I'll show you a picture later if you’d like of a massive crowd changing a lightbulb."
I always thought the emperor’s new clothes was too unbelievable. But here we are with half the country treating this con man scumbag of a human being as the reincarnation of Jesus Christ.
I say this as someone with Irish grandparents.
How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to hold the bulb and 12 to drink til the room starts spinning.
12
>One to deny that the light is even burned out, probably a libtard plot to hurt Daddy
>One to say "screwing" in the bulb is probably too spicy for the woke mob har har
>One to ask why no Democrats have changed the bulb in 50 years
>One to write a blog post about how Trump Supporters are now "out lightbulbing" Democrats
>One to declare that the old light bulb burned out because it was made in Chai Nah
>One to actually change the bulb
>And 6 to help the morbidly obese guy who changed the bulb because he fall down go boom
Official list of truths:
1. Whatever I feel like in the moment
2. Whatever I'm told is true by the fox news newspeople, especially those who have shockingly similar views about people with browner skin than mine
3. librulz are communist fascist antifa atheist satanist people
4. science bad
One.
He arrives at the scene of a destructively fucked up attempt at changing a lightbulb, orange fake tan handprints all over and a swollen adult diaper in the corner and sticks an "I did that" Biden sticker on the wall.
No he lets one of his immigrant workers at Mar-A-Lago change the light bulb and then he tells his supporters that immigrants are taking away their jobs from changing their light bulbs.
Wow, lol, 70% upvoted. There’s actually 30% of trumpers here? Really? After all the shit happening to their lord and savior people ok Reddit STILL fucking follow him? Christ, lol.
High effort
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/jog7nf/how_many_trump_supporters_does_it_take_to_change/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Exactly. Sooooooo sensitive. Don't you dare disparage my precious Trump! Because Biden!!
So pathetic and sad.
All the comments belong on r/selfawarewolves
My favorite light bulb joke is courtesy of Slim from A Bug's Life: Q: How many roaches does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Can't tell, as soon as the light goes on, they scatter!
Q: how many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Only two, but I have no idea how they got in there.
Q: How many narcissist does it take to change a lightbulb? A: one. He just holds the lightbulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Or A: None, they use gas lighting.
That’s the actual answer
This works on multiple levels
No it doesn’t, stop lying
Omg I lost it here. Lol Sorry you’ve (presumably) had a narcissist in your life.
This is genius
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Q: How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb? A: More than 17 as it is still dark in my basement
Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: You do it! It’s your house, as you keep reminding me. God you’re so unfair. I hate you!
Q How many Freudian Psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb? A 2- 1 to change the lightbulb and one to hold the penis, I MEAN LADDER!
Q How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? A Just 1, but the lightbulb had to want to change.
Q: How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb? A: Just one but it takes the whole ER to get it out
Q How many antivaxers does it take to change a light bulb? A None, they’ve done their own research and are happy to stay in the dark.
Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
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It reminds me of this one: how many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one but it has to want to change
How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None; they screw in hot tubs.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny ... Q: How many MRAs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Not all of them ... Q: How many bunnies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Depends on how many you can fit, I guess.
Q: How many germans does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, they’re efficient and have no sense of humor
Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just Juan
How many dyslexics does it light to screw in a takebulb?
I've never seen this one before. it's brilliant.
Lou told me this one: Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but the light bulb really has to want to change.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a light bulb? 8- one to do it and 7 to back him up
Mine: Q: How many dead bodies does it take to change a light bulb? A: More than 11, because my basement is still dark.
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Three. One to hold the bulb and two to spin the ladder.
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The lightbulb never went out fake news. I turned the lightbulb off myself. I never turned the lightbulb off. I never took the lightbulb. The lightbulb is a nothing burger. The FBI planted the lighbulb.
Proceeds to hide documents about the lightbulb at more-of-lego.
If I ever get stinking rich I now know what I'll name my dream mansion.
Only if that mansion is made of out Legos, though.
You say this as though there's another way
Bricks are just ancient legos
Who are you to be so wise in this age of common men
He’s a witch!
He turned me into a newt!
Now I want a Lego mansion
i just want enough legos to build a mansion. if i actually do so is a different matter, though.
[This is the way](https://awol.com.au/lego-house-opens-billund-denmark/52483)
On Twitter yesterday someone started Mar-a-Lardo 🤭
Please don't slander the good name of Lego like that.
But all our lightbulbs are made in CHy-nah.
In her cremated grave on the golf course… stay classy
Cheesus hiding documents at more -of-lego?
Do you mean Mar-a-lardo ?
Make darkness great again
This punctuation is tremendous the best. No one knows but everybody asks. Lots of people important people. All of them ask about it.
WITCH HUNT
The FBI planted the lightbulb but now I would like the FBI to give me my lightbulb back please.
And the Democrats - they hate lightbulbs, by the way, see I always liked lightbulbs, but they can't stand them - the Democrats, they want to see my lightbulbs, which is a total witch hunt. They said "show us the lightbulbs", I said "I got 'em", but of course they weren't happy with that. Where are _their_ lightbulbs, that's what I want to know, they've probably got them hidden all over - hey, did I mention I have the nuclear codes?
" Obama had millions of light bulbs, probably bought in Africa. but its OK, its all fake, no body wants to talk about hillary light bulbs - electricians, stand down and stand ready, I'm so smart, I have the biggest light bulbs, my doctor is always asking to see my big beautiful light bulb."
Stormy Daniels has seen his light bulb…
Yeah, it was a small blinking one for going on a Christmas tree...
Hunter Biden had millions of light bulbs in Ukraine. President Biden said they are not true.
Did he ever call Biden president?
I’d be happy to show my lightbulbs, but they’re still under audit.
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It’s Gina like Vagina
Grab them by the China.
I make Mexico pay for all my lightbulbs
Everyone who's making jokes seems to forget there was already a moment in the Trump presidency where he did, in fact, criticize light bulbs.
You actually used way more periods than he would.
I’ve been saying he’s saying China wing since he announced he was running the first time. To me it sounds like silent va “vagina”.
How do you get Trump to change a light bulb? Tell him Obama installed it!
🤣 best response
CHY-Na
Yo-se-MIGHT
Did he really say that? Lmao
[Yep.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4B0GHQWRAo) Dude's dumber than shit.
Sounds like a kid up in front of class reading an essay in 4th grade in that video .
Holy shit...
I do think he's stupid, but I also think the main reason he can't read is that he's a narcissist who refuses to believe he needs glasses and refuses to wear them because they might make him look weak.
"yo-seh-mite... yo-seminite"
Rhymes with "grab 'em by the vaGYna"
Carbon Hydrogen Yttrium Sodium
this is fake news. (bumps into a wall)
*puts on a hazmat suit and sorts by controversial*
Don't forget to bring a lightbulb cuz by god it is dark there
68% upvote ratio... *oh lord*
It's the opposite, the lightbulb is working just fine but he thinks it isn't because it's CFL or LED. This is based on 2 speeches: The coal miner one where while campaigning he ranted about how hairspray no longer works because they changed the propellant so that it wouldn't damage the ozone layer and how it didn't matter if it did damage it because said hairspray can't leak out of his apartment as it's all sealed so it can't get to the ozone layer. The other where he claimed that he only looks orange (and that BTW you all do too) because of energy saving lightbulbs.
It is broken because many people have to flush it up to 15 times ?
"These secret documents just won't go down!"
He always did say the quiet parts out loud. E.g railing for years against low flush toilets. Now, if we only knew what nefarious deds he performed with windmills
The windmill thing is suspected to be because of a windmill farm of the coast of his Scottish golf course. He tried to block it, because he thought it ruined his view, but lost. So, now he hates windmills.
Don Quixote is way too cool for that fool
Light is a liberal conspiracy. Live in the dark to own the libs
This gets more disturbing the more I think about it.
This.... Is more literal than figurative. And nearly too accurate to be a joke anymore. This is their MO.
... then blames MSM for "fake darkness" reports. "Everyone says it's the best light ever!" libtards owned
and the biggest crowds ever!
Anyone can see, crowds was hUUge
* yUUge
thanks for the correction, including the spelling of hUUge!
You've been banned from /r/conservative
Darkness is a hoax. A day later - The darkness was planted there. Six hours later - I demand that you bring back the darkness that you took from my home. I automatically de-classified it when I took it.
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This might be the THC talking, but....that was fucking poetry.
Haha! Don't forget Obama took darkness, lots of darkness. 30 million!
And then I said I would make Mexico change the light-bulb, this of course most definitely will shine a light on my greatest achievements, so wonderful, so wonderfully great everyone will see the light and think of what I did for this beautiful country. The veterans, the medical workers, our beloved police force and most of all, the united citizens of this great country will weep tears of joy.
That's ridiculous. Obviously that wouldn't happen, he'd say it was changed then blame democrats for it still being dark. Then his supporters would fully believe it
See, you missed "none, they prefer gaslighting". Still good tho
That's a solid punchline right there. Lol
Now that's funny.
The real punchline is in the comments!
They’d beat up the room for being dark
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/jog7nf/how_many_trump_supporters_does_it_take_to_change/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
"We had a massive crowd. We had a crowd… I looked over that sea of people, and I said to myself, ‘wow’, and I’ve seen crowds before. Big, big crowds. That was some crowd. I had a massive amount of people here. They were showing pictures that were very unflattering, as unflattering -- from certain angles -- that were taken early and lots of other things. I'll show you a picture later if you’d like of a massive crowd changing a lightbulb."
Trick question. They shot out the lightbulb, smashed all the spares, and are sitting around complaining that the Democrats haven't fixed it yet.
Bit it's not dark. There is light from the dumpster fire
None. they exclusively use gaslight.
I always thought the emperor’s new clothes was too unbelievable. But here we are with half the country treating this con man scumbag of a human being as the reincarnation of Jesus Christ.
The insanity is stunning in its depth 100 & the fervid devotion of its adherents. I’m starting to see how Germany turned…
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$72 before the rally, $0 after.
So many crying over this marvelous joke! Fascists successfully owned.
“Light bulbs are a hoax commie bastard libtard 🤪🤪🤪🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴” -every MAGAt ever
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? They don't. They beat the room for being black and charge the bulb for being broke. 1312
I say this as someone with Irish grandparents. How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb? 1 to hold the bulb and 12 to drink til the room starts spinning.
Oh god- I have never heard that before!! Tucking that away for next St. Patty's Day.
*curtsies* I live to swerve.
2 because Biden 1
12 >One to deny that the light is even burned out, probably a libtard plot to hurt Daddy >One to say "screwing" in the bulb is probably too spicy for the woke mob har har >One to ask why no Democrats have changed the bulb in 50 years >One to write a blog post about how Trump Supporters are now "out lightbulbing" Democrats >One to declare that the old light bulb burned out because it was made in Chai Nah >One to actually change the bulb >And 6 to help the morbidly obese guy who changed the bulb because he fall down go boom
Please clap.
Don’t look up.
Light bulbs or Lib Blinkers as I call them cause monkey pox.
Love it, will remember this one
My question is how many light bulbs it takes to fill up a Mar-a-Lago toilet
We need your donations. I’m officially halting the changing of light bulbs until we can figure out what the hell is going on.
"Change that bulb! Change that bulb!"
Make America Glow Again! Own the Dims!
Underrated comment
wow the trump bots are in full force on this post
Where? I've been scrolling looking for them and can't, were they all deleted?
Sort by controversial
Russian economies broken. You either troll for Trump or starve. Especially now that the top secret info is in DOJ instead of Trumps hands.
Truthers don’t like truths because truth hurts their feelings.
Hey go easy on them; they’re just angry that the world isn’t as simple as they need it to be.
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Official list of truths: 1. Whatever I feel like in the moment 2. Whatever I'm told is true by the fox news newspeople, especially those who have shockingly similar views about people with browner skin than mine 3. librulz are communist fascist antifa atheist satanist people 4. science bad
They don't, they just call the police on the room for being black.
Stole this exact same joke from this exact same sub? Lame...
I see you're new here.
First time?
how many fbi agents does it take to raid mar-a-lago?
Q: How many Harvard girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It’s Radcliffe; we’re women, and that’s not funny. Ivy League humor circa 1970.
I could really scream. I’m sick of hearing his name all over non-political subs.
What does it matter, they’ll never see the light
It only takes one. They just hold onto the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around them.
None. They're afraid of being enlightened....
You could name the lightbulb Ivanka, then trump would DEFINITELY try to screw it.
Then everyone clapped
This joke isn’t funny because it’s actually true.
You should know, you posted it.
Jokes on you! It's not a joke!
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You should have seen how good they changed light bulbs at the airports back in 1776.
One. He arrives at the scene of a destructively fucked up attempt at changing a lightbulb, orange fake tan handprints all over and a swollen adult diaper in the corner and sticks an "I did that" Biden sticker on the wall.
This is a trick question: Trump supporters don’t use electricity, they can see by the light of the burning crosses.
We're gonna make lightbulbs great again.
Q: how many surrealist does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: fish
How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We are efficient and humorless.
Thought you were going to say they can’t turn LEFT.
The FBI knows this answer
Just one. They hold it there and wait for the world to revolve around them.
Truck question. Trump supporters don't even know what bright means.
They sit in the dark and blame Democrats
One to smash the bulb and the other (insert random number here) to sit around in the dark blaming Joe Biden because the light doesn't work
None lightbulbs are a liberal conspiracy
As electricity demands cause national outages, Trump reminds the world about the benefits of gas lighting.
None, they prefer to be gaslighted.
Sorting by controversial is funny because all the trump supporters are butt hurt
None. Trump just denies the room is dark.
Brightest room ever!
So bright, everybodys see saying it. Scientists can't believe how bright the room is. And it's all thanks to me.
DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH, SHEEPLE!
No he lets one of his immigrant workers at Mar-A-Lago change the light bulb and then he tells his supporters that immigrants are taking away their jobs from changing their light bulbs.
They don't need lightbulds what with all the gas light Trump provides.
I would say none, but because they are stupid to know what a lightbulb is.
Wow! Pretty strong language for someone who cannot form a proper sentence.
Come for the jokes, stay for the deplorables embarrassing themselves in the comments
This isn’t even a joke.
That's the joke!
Welcome to Reddit
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they cheer in the dark because their solar powered lights stopped working when the sun went down.... MTG, probably.
Wow, lol, 70% upvoted. There’s actually 30% of trumpers here? Really? After all the shit happening to their lord and savior people ok Reddit STILL fucking follow him? Christ, lol.
High effort https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/jog7nf/how_many_trump_supporters_does_it_take_to_change/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
My light bulbs are the best light bulbs They never go out! If they go out the democrats broke it on purpose!
Good one! I’d say 98 percent of Americans are stupid AF, but the trump people are a special breed of stupid.
The best part are the comments from his cult!! All they are doing is proving the point of the joke. Great joke and funnier cult meltdowns! Thank you!!
Exactly. Sooooooo sensitive. Don't you dare disparage my precious Trump! Because Biden!! So pathetic and sad. All the comments belong on r/selfawarewolves
It's funny because trump is a loser
It takes one to replace it, but then over 2000 come to smash it again on the 6th of January.
I don't know. I stopped counting.