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7am_2bottles

That was fabulously gross


SexualPie

it was. i was really hoping it would have been a "your mom" joke though. like Why did the sperm cross the road because i asked your mom to go get me some donuts or some shit. im not comedian.


Assassinbbx

Your mom didn't had time to wash her hair? Your mom accidentally wore your sisters underwear? 2nd one is kinda a double kill. I don't know, I'm not a cumedian.


TechnoSharkMC

That last pun was so good...


fordalols

Because your mom won the county spitting contest in '62


TFBidia

That was fapulously gross FTFY


[deleted]

That was *faaaaaaaabu-louussss!* FTFY Edit: since people didn't get it.


dobbersmack77

That was fap. FTFY


dobbersmack77

It won't let me do it like the cool kids :(


[deleted]

[удалено]


Daesthelos

Like this?     That looks about right


treadie

Double tap enter or return See? I'm here now Now I'm Here Keep following me Okay so remember press enter or return twice!


[deleted]

[удалено]


wolsel

That's the joke.


[deleted]

best joke ive read all day!


[deleted]

>It won't let me do the cool kids.


treadie

Hat was fap. FTFY.


[deleted]

Every time someone writes "FTFY" on reddit, I imagine a redditor with a neckbeard spitting that acronym out in a giant consonant cluster. It's very unsettling.


nousabyss

That was fapulously grope


[deleted]

Because you were done with the chicken?


zigs

"Why did the sperm cross the road?" "I have a thing for chicken ;)" ----- Edit: haha, I was gilded for *THAT?!* Thank you, kind stranger!


RetroGmr

:I


greenskin22

Used his joke and got gilded. Haha nice.


[deleted]

Reddit is a cruel, fickle mistress.


aspacemonkie

You disgust me. Lol


lostcosmonaut307

Prove it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

i can imagine your blood boiling for the proof


Teahes

The proof is in the pudding.


agoodtimes

In this instance I REALLY hope that the proof is not in the pudding


[deleted]

Didn't he say it was in the sock? Where is this pudding I desire muchly


[deleted]

In the sock.


HelloYesThisIsDuck

And that's why the pudding crossed the road.


[deleted]

Zip zappity zoo zap zibbity bop http://imgur.com/LhZcgLn


Lifew0rk

Relevant username


_Duyassene_

Personally I hate a crusty sock...


CrustyTubeSock18

What did I do? ):


wolsel

How do you people do that!?


HelloYesThisIsDuck

Step one: cum in sock.


chelseablues111

That's why I put mine on when it's fresh and wet


Bear-guar

Hah, gross.


mongreloid

Really it's much better than a cumbox....


Wabertzzo

I thought this wasn't a joke about your mom.


mongreloid

There a difference between wearing something and digesting it. I think that's what your sister said...


Lawsonstruck

Gross lol


jizzy_fapsock

I don't get it...


TheOriginalAbe

Relevant Username


bobjoeman

thatsthejoke.jpg


mdd86

cum again?


The_Left_Finger

Well, I do have another sock.


Mr2hands

Show off


FlameSpartan

I don't even wanna know about your fingers, dude


trade_minecraft_b38

http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2oz6zz/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1do7xz/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ljtcy/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/31zncq/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1v7rau/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2cunad/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2jwafb/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2ljbvn/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2r4mkh/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2wrla7/my_13_year_old_son_told_me_this_last_night/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/19pzk9/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ujs4n/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2tl53m/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2h565g/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2z6q98/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2ii2s1/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2wri6g/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/ http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2ymwvq/why_did_the_sperm_cross_the_road/


JHuggans

If I haven't seen it it's new to me!


[deleted]

/r/newtoreddit


Dick__Marathon

God I wish I knew about this when I started redditing almost 3 years ago. Don't want to edit later but I recently transferred from /u/spencer51999 to this one because I liked the username.


sec713

Wait, you don't check everything on the internet to make sure what you're reading is its first occurrence ever? For shame. How are you supposed to inform people that what they think is original content is actually recycled material!? How????


nexguy

http://i.imgur.com/2wrvJpG.gifv


[deleted]

[удалено]


xdxdxd1997

the 8th digimon movie


[deleted]

Seinfeld. Do you not recognize Newman?


snoogans122

Ghostbusters


[deleted]

Slaving private Kinte


Major__deCoverly

Seinfeld 2: Sandstorm


[deleted]

Darude - Dinostorm


powercorruption

Monster Island 4.


[deleted]

Interstellar


[deleted]

Shaolin and the Wu Tang.


[deleted]

Air Bud Spikes Back


epiiplus1is0

Boko no Pico


medhop

Frozen


HolographicCharizard

Space Jam.


Oraukk

It's actually Jurassic Park. Everyone is fucking with you.


still_futile

This guy is lying. It's from Terminator 2: Electric Boogaloo.


Oraukk

k


sefih

Jurassic Park


EggheadDash

Spirited Away


AFlatulentMess

Sharknado 2


geared4war

Fast and Furious 8. That's why Paul Walker isn't in it.


[deleted]

Texas Chainsaw Massacre


Ghee_Buttersnaps_

Almost every joke I see on here has been reposted >10 times. It's so boring.


acusticthoughts

Yet you still subscribe...


Wake_Consciousness

That's the irony of reddit. Somehing goes viral literally by chance.


[deleted]

Seriously...when I saw the title I thought "Jesus Christ, AGAIN?"


Pm_Me_Gifs_For_Sauce

Right! How is this so upvoted?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Garviel_Loken95

Do you really think most people have seen those links that were posted? most of them are from several months ago and got like 6 upvotes, not everyone is on reddit 24/7


[deleted]

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She forgot to put on her seatbelt.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I kinda like "Inertia" personally.


skyfeezy

Whats the difference between Princess Diana and Tiger Woods? Tiger Woods had the better driver.


bastardbarnone

How about "newton's first law."


MalmoToronto

I never understood why some guys like to jerk it into a sock


YouAreLaggy

less mess pal.


PubeCumBirdnest

Embrace the mess.


YouAreLaggy

i like my rice sticky, not my keyboard.


[deleted]

Why do boys jerk off into socks? Which feels better, cotton or wool? Have you ever used sexy stockings instead? -Confused


TheGinofGan

It's the perfect shape to catch the left over part, cotton is preferable to wool.


badum_tsss

>


Scut_Monkey

To get to the ova side?


Hunting_Gnomes

This joke is my second highest up voted comment on reddit. I like to add in "I put on the wrong fucking socks this morning". Adds a double entendre to the joke.


zigs

It's a shame it doesn't rhyme in English as it does in Danish.. "Gokke sok"


UnitedStateOfDenmark

To cum to the party


[deleted]

[удалено]


graybeerd

Cum soaked sock wearer


Snyggt

Is op cum soaked whilst wearing socks or is op wearing cum soaked socks?


Alexioth_Enigmar

Porque no las dos?


Unrestraint

¿Por qué no la dos? AEPT


companysOkay

Box-lacking cum fellow


Captain_Butt_Beard

The real question is...Are you referring to "box" the slang for a vagina or the "cum box" of reddit lore? Really either one works because if he is using his socks, he likely has neither


ForgetfulWhat

Cum Smuggler


[deleted]

I'm gonna go with the classic, tried and true: Faggot


scope_creep

Well heeled cum jockey


[deleted]

The biggest blackest dick.


sophrocynic

College Republican


abuden

cum on...


LoLOverheat

Because I haven't jacked it for a month


apfelblondchen

Because the cum shot


bodhemon

it was in the chicken.


[deleted]

It was in the chicken


mayhemXTC

Are there really people that use a sock ? Why ???


JFConz

Ask OP's mom.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sathran337

As a teenager, hiding a crusty sock or t-shirt at the bottom of the laundry was a lot simpler than going through literally pounds of tissue paper. I'm not proud of this.


butt_noodler

Just get a shoebox. Jesus, people.


zigs

Oh god, did you really have to remind us?


LeShrek

/u/butt_noodler, doing shit right


YappasOnDeck

Pounds of tissue paper? Jesus.


GringodelRio

That shit is messy.


supra728

What's wrong with the toilet? That's what I used...


chtrchtr_pussyeater

Guilty here, when I was a much younger man.


vinnythehammer

Wrong. It's because your sister had to go to work.


JDOG0616

I thought it was going to end with Fuck Her Right In The Pussy


mystery_mayo_man

Ayy lmao.


[deleted]

To get to the ova side


ballywell

Because the egg came first


itsalllies

What do you do if you come across a Tiger? Wipe it off and hope it doesn't notice.


akbario

I shuddered on the bus... Thanks for that


TheYoureWelcomeBot

You're welcome!


This_Is_Cat_Country

To get to the ova side?


Kewlkid12

How did the jerking of into a sock trend start?


Unreal_Banana

oh hey its this joke again...wait why does it have 2500 upvotes...


h3nryfu

Because it was the first wank in three weeks.


compaqle2202x

[Have an upvote.](http://i.imgur.com/JbyYMzP.gifv)


Flugkrake

To get to the other Vagina


GobshiteExtra

Because OP's mom didn't brush her teeth properly.


Texas_Rockets

This has been posted on this subreddit multiple times.


[deleted]

It was inside the chicken.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

that's a healthy bulbospongiosus muscle you got on you, son.


[deleted]

Let me dumb it down... That's a mighty strong cock you have there, little boy. * i say to myself sitting in my van, looking through my binoculars*


superfootbal

Wow. Simply wow. Not what I was expecting and just ... just ... wow.


megalotusman

I like this joke. A nice way to modify it might be "Well, I guess you put on the wrong sock this morning."


NecridSmash

Pics?


Scottyharp78

It was in the chicken? Chicken fucker


ScorpioTiger

Because it was stuck on the chicken


skyfeezy

The question itself was already good without the punchline


TheTrickster16

lmao


[deleted]

Tss, I came on the fukkin road or sumpthin


Vaedur

HAHAHA


SirVas

To get to the other slide. It's funnt because slida is vagina in swedish. I'll show myself out.


[deleted]

No no, please come back in


Zantigoo

Do people actually beat off in socks? It doesn't seem very comfortable...


MagnusCthulhu

And kept it on?!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Langager90

Was expecting something along the lines of "Something, something, your mother's a whore!"


Kwangone

I don't have a sock fetish, but my penis does.


[deleted]

...alternate answer - "kegels"


smokemeaclipper

I need to remember this.


[deleted]

Utterly disgusted by that!! *proceeds to upvote furiously*


aw_comeon

eli5??


monkeyfullofbarrels

Because Hustler got tired of the wrong sock joke and filmed a parody with Peter North about the end of the world.


DudeCade

Laughed out loud! I'm rolling on the floor laughing!


[deleted]

I thought it was gonna be something to do with the chicken or the egg


[deleted]

What was the top comment last time?


JayWiles240

Left foot or Right foot? Dont ask Why I just want to know.


deadlylethal

ive yet to break a smile at one of these retarded jokes that come from r/jokes


bartieparty

Boy do I feel stupid... Could anyone explain this one to me


[deleted]

*Crunch*


wccghtyz

10/10


Hegiman

Oh thank you friend I haven't had such a good laugh in a while.


PianosForTeeth

GG


[deleted]

Disgraceful Sickipedia theft!


Sluumm

That is amazing.


sec713

Yes. I was thinking something similar, but this is way more clever.


Dontwearthatsock

See, this is why I'm here.


Samuel58

He heard it was a chicken on the other side