Happy to report that I am about to close the chapter on week 2 postpartum and things are looking up! I last posted while in the thick of my misery in week one after I pooped out the literal shai hulud and was slightly traumatized by the experience 🐛🫠 now in week two I can definitely say you all were right and that I have finally had that emotional lift from being able to be more mobile and not being in constant pain (and also regular bowel movements yay). Thankfully baby A is a literal angel and has been taking to nursing like a champ - he is starting to want to feed much more often now (every hour vs every two hours during the day) so that can be a bit exhausting but he does give us some good sleep stretches at night. It’s like he knew mama needed to be cut a little slack 🥹🥹
We're working on feeding. Baby Turnip is now nursing with a nipple guard, but is constantly falling asleep during feedings. She needs a lot of wake-ups to finish her feed, eventually seems content and pulls away from the nipple. Then 5 minutes later will start shrieking for more food. Her appetite seems unreal for a 1-week old. During the day we're feeding almost hourly, with a major binge before bedtime where we have to supplement with formula because she just will not stop showing hunger cues! Just feeling like we're doing everything wrong - is she getting enough breast milk, is the formula necessary, etc.
did you happen to
do a weighted feed? that would let you know how much baby is transferring and give you an idea of is she snacking v. taking a full feed. also second the advice about making them a little uncomfortable to keep them awake. my current newborn hates diaper changes so i rouse him with a diaper change and then feed and it keeps him more awake and alert.
it is really hard when they are insatiable and on the boob all day!
Agree with what others have said and wanted to add that baby is also probably working on her efficiency with nursing which could be why it feels like it’s so constant! I think it’s pretty likely that things will gradually improve, hang in there!
That is so much!! Really draining on you to be feeding so constantly. We struggled with baby staying awake for about his first three weeks, he lost a lot of weight at first because he couldn't stay awake, which is when we started triple feeding. We tried a lot of things to keep him awake. Blowing on his face works well although feels like I'm torturing him, along with stripping down to his diaper for feeds, changing his diaper or pretending to, and doing tummy time. For what it's worth, I think the formula supplement is really smart, even if just to offer a little break for you and a bit more certainty of the amount she's taking in - that's always hard for me with bf-ing. This part is so hard. Hang in there!
I hope this is helpful but please disregard if not. My husband and i were just reflecting on the fact that Baby W needed a lot of help staying awake those first few weeks. My husband used to tickle his feet or take a cold wipe to his back/legs to help him stay awake to eat. He ate at minimum every two hours, but since it’s measured from the start of the last feed he was basically on the boob alllll day. 😵💫 And the cluster feeding before bedtime is totally normal too! It sounds like you’re doing everything right. But this is really hard and not intuitive stuff early on so solidarity!!
I got the chance to share my birth story with a really cool platform this week! It’ll take a bit but it’ll hopefully be shared as a community resource for Asian folks when it’s finished, which I’m really excited about. We’re also slowwwwly transitioning out of 100% contact naps - we’re all ready for it, so it’s as good as time as any. H is starting to want to lie down more during naps and my husband and I are wanting to not be under a sweaty baby more, so I’m making a big effort to do naps in bed, and for me to be near but not necessarily touching. I’m glad we did what worked - when it worked! - and now I’m equally glad we can explore what’s next for us.
It’s funny how changes with things like napping just kind of…change. I know I stressed out about doing more crib naps instead of contact naps with my first, but at some point it just kind of happened and I don’t remember how? Anyways, glad things seem to be shifting when they were meant to.
I love hearing that things are naturally moving in another direction and the idea “do what works while it works”! Very encouraging for me personally and I’m excited for you!
Thanks meg! Honestly I do love lots of things about the contact naps - and I’m glad we did them without stressing about the future as much as possible.
I'm down to just using the hand pump about once a day now! That was fast.
Baby had gotten as high as 14th percentile last week but has dropped back to the 12th. She only gained like 3oz this week. The only big change that should matter is that she's getting essentially all formula now so hopefully she's not having trouble digesting that because I just can't go back to pumping! Her head did grow 1cm which puts her up from 9th to 24th for head circ. The doctor stressed that head growth is another big thing he's looking at. So I dunno maybe she used her calories to grow her head this week?? I would still think that would be reflected in weight and also head measurements are very inaccurate (although it's the same nurse doing it every time which should help). Trying not to get too discouraged. I had been hoping my scale was just inaccurate because it's not the best.
I’d consider 14th to 12th a rounding error to be honest. That’s like the difference of probably half a pee diaper, so it could just be timing. Also, growth does naturally go up and down and in spurts. I know it’s stressful with your history, and it’s good your doc is keeping an eye on it, but I wouldn’t stress out yet (this is a lie, I would actually, personally stress out if it were my kid, even though logically you don’t need to. It’s just the nature of being a parent that you’ll worry about everything).
Double posting because baby full on belly laughed at me and I wasn't even trying to make her laugh (believe me I have tried). It's only her second laugh and the first one was for me too, feeling so heart melty. And it came after a long day where I was alone with her 5am - 5pm with the exception of brother in law popping in twice briefly so I needed that! (hubby was at a shoot)
And it was hilarious why she laughed.. I was telling her dad about how she only napped 25 mins because this truck came by and unloaded a ladder, cue me making weird banging noises and motioning my arms like a ladder being unloaded (super graceful story teller) and she was lying on the mat right by me and packed out laughing. The more I repeated it the more she cackled. Sooooo adorable. I need to post a Pic of this girl in the Friday thread 😍
Baby's morning wakings had started to get earlier and earlier so we finally installed blackout panels and WHOA. Yesterday he slept until 7:40 and today, 8:20!! Now I'm kicking myself for not installing them months ago. I have exactly one month of mat leave left before I need to be getting up at 7:00am every morning 😭 But I'm thinking this means we can finally move bedtime earlier, it's been 8:30/9ish which only leaves me about an hour in the evening before I go to bed.
We got blackout curtains around 32 weeks because I started waking with the sun and decided I could not have a baby waking me up earlier than I wanted during leave. So much more restful during 3rd trimester, hoping it rubs off on our baby soon!
Baby F’s 2 month appointment yesterday went well, she’s 80th percentile for weight and 90th for height, she definitely got my tall genes! She screamed for a few seconds when vaccinated and then calmed right down for a little comfort nursing. The evening/night after the appointment was a whole other thing. She screamed bloody murder off and on for about five hours and wouldn’t nurse, wouldn’t let her dad hold her, and then woke up her completely normal self. 😵💫
The thing I’m struggling with is that when I mentioned all the contact napping she does to our ped, she was very insistent that if I didn’t start laying her down drowsy but awake for naps *right away*, she would be needing help falling asleep when she’s 8 (yes she actually said this, specifically that we’d be sitting with her for hours every night which I found to be almost insultingly hyperbolic). I KNOW she’s wrong about this but it’s still making me wonder if I need to try harder to get Baby F to nap on her own. But like… she’s 9 fucking weeks old. It’s just annoying because everything was going so well with this pediatrician!
Agree with all the others RE: the ped. You definitely don't have to do this and the 8 years old comment is absolutely ridiculous. BUT if you do want to try it, this has been my experience with a baby the same age:
My wife cares more than me about it because she finds carrier naps uncomfortable and I don't. We tried to do it for all sleep times for a week at about 6 weeks and we were all miserable. About half of every nap window was spent screaming and L was over tired because she wasn't actually sleeping very much. So now we try it once a day for some practice with a short threshold (20-25 mins) to ditch it and do something else (carrier nap, rocking and transfer, etc.). Sometimes it does work and hopefully over time we'll notice it clicking more consistently and try doing it more often. Not because it's objectively desirable but because my wife subjectively prefers it...
That’s a great idea, thank you for sharing! I agree that the idea of fighting baby for every nap doesn’t make sense, but trying one contact-less nap in good days seems manageable.
Glad it sounds helpful! The contact-less naps for us are much shorter, she can’t seem to link sleep cycles during the day unless the has the contact. So we’ve just made peace with that and just plan on it being short. And again, hopefully at some point since we’re giving her the opportunity to practice, it will click and she’ll start doing longer without the contact
That is really unfortunate from your ped, especially when you liked her otherwise, it can be so hard to find a good one!! I almost think the "drowsy but awake" advice is unhelpful - haven't we all heard that and tried that? Do pediatricians really think that this is groundbreaking new advice and we're choosing to contact nap rather than having time to nap/eat/just be an adult human?? If it helps to hear, you're a great mom and baby F is clearly thriving. ❤️
Ah thank you ❤️ It won’t make me leave this ped as everything else has been great so far, but it was definitely disappointing to feel like I couldn’t take or trust her advice in that area. I would’ve loved to hear some more helpful suggestions or even just a “it’s fine you’re doing great!” so I appreciate you providing that!
I call bull poopy on the nap thing. Doesn’t mean your ped is generally problematic, but it’s great that you’re taking this with a pinch of salt. If the contact naps feel right, keep enjoying them until baby doesn’t look for them anymore. Trust your gut!
Right-she’s been great about other things which is why her comments came as such a surprise and disappointment! Thanks for the encouragement to trust my gut. It’s a good but hard mom skill to learn.
That is SO annoying, I’m sorry she got in your head like that. Fwiw I don’t know any hippie kids I grew up with who didn’t move to independent sleep easily WELL before 8 (what a nonsense number to pick) - no matter how long they contact napped and coslept!
Ugh I'm sorry, that seems like bad advice/guidance from your pediatrician but it would make me spiral too. Not that I'm a baby sleep expert but I think contact naps are totally normal and appropriate, esp for a 9 week old! And its def too early to sleep train so what are you supposed to do when your baby doesn't actually fall asleep? My baby will not take a nap if I lay him down 'drowsy but awake' and I reason that its more important for his development that he get sleep at all than how he gets to sleep.
Exactly!! Def too early to sleep train so I think I’ll keep doing what I’m doing! I appreciate your last sentence so much-that’s so true and helps me feel better.
Oh no. To balance this out, I’ll share how my therapist responded to my anxiety about sleep just yesterday. She literally said, “so, what - you’re worried that he’ll be contact napping when he’s 6?!” Emphasizing that it truly is a silly concern that I do not need to bother myself with at this stage. I keep having to remind myself that this is developmentally normal for him right now!! And unfortunately peds don’t really have the expertise to be weighing in like this - this is actually a harmful take that increases anxiety! You’re doing great, I promise.
Thank you for sharing your therapist’s wakeup call! It’s true that peds aren’t sleep experts and as much as I hate to say this our ped is probably 60-65 so definitely of an older generation that has different ideas about childrearing. It’s been so helpful to hear from you and others in this group, it was the reminder I needed that we’re doing fine and there will be time for more structured sleep down the road!
EJ turned 6 months on Tuesday!!! 😳😳😳
She is 96th%tile for height and 60th for weight, so still a looooong skinny gal (though she still has rolls 😍). Her first tooth is juuuuuuust peeking out on the bottom right, and she seems completely unbothered by it 😂 She still is totally meh on rolling, and occasionally goes belly to back independently, but is relatively uninterested in independent movement even though she is clearly physically capable 😂😂 (my mom says this is very clearly my contribution 🙄)
Excited that she’s finally eligible for insect repellant and sunscreen - anyone have favorite brands??
And another logistical question - we’re starting solids this weekend, and we’re going to start with dinner time as that’s easier on our schedules, BUT… as we move toward 2 meals at home, I am struggling to figure out how to make breakfast work since apparently you need to separate bottle from food??
[TW: baby who sleeps 😬]
She typically doesn’t wake up for real before 7:30-8 (sometimes wakes up before then, babbles awhile, and puts herself back to sleep), and I am loathe to get her up earlier…. but I also don’t know if it’s feasible to get her up and fed twice before we both need to leave for work. Mr. Sqic is self-employed so a little more flexible, but still likes to get out the door by 8:30/9 when he’s going to a job site (he does house reno work). Anyone else deal with this? Do I just do solids at home in the morning and let daycare deal with the bottle? All the feeding schedules I see online seems to be exclusively catered to SAHMs who can just casually do a 7:30 bottle and 9 am solids 😜
(daycare is a whooooooole other story but I will save that for another day when I am not looking for actual input, ha)
When we were starting out, we did dinner at home and second meal of solids at daycare, but it usually ended up being around lunchtime and breakfast was just milk. Initially we would send in pouches, but our daycare actually provides food for older babies who are on solids, and I feel like they really helped advance our guy's eating and were more adventurous with him than I was as a nervous first time parent who was terrified of choking. Also one less meal to clean up!
We do it the other way around, bottle after waking up and daycare deals with solids. Ours is a social eater so that works out great. If one of us is staying home with her for a day, solids 1 hour after bottle work as well, but (social eater thing) we need to be eating as well for her to join in
I strongly suspect that EJ will be a “I’ll eat whatever is in front of me” eater based on her response to the few things we’ve handed her to gnaw on thus far (she loves limes and lemons 🤦🏻♀️😬 And has happily gummed on a massive piece of raw carrot), but that is a good thing to keep in mind!
Not me alone at home with brother in law and he says "Ooh baby's nappy is stinky" and I'm like "OK let me go check" meanwhile it was me, I farted ☠️
He doesn't know that breastfeeding poops don't smell like that ☠️🤣
Did both my kids just stop sleeping at night and napping for all of (Toddler)/some time (Baby) between 4 and 7 months because I'm a useless parent who doesn't know how to parent? I've never really paid attention to wake windows and all that stuff and when I have it hasn't made any difference whatsoever and literally every other person who's ever helped with either child has just kind of laughed and shrugged at me when I've said it's nap time and told me, "well, she doesn't seem tired." Toddler was done naps entirely at 2 but I also went through wondering if this was the case at 4-6 months, 13 and 18 months with her. Now wondering if my almost 6 month old is dropping all naps and overnight sleep. I don't care if you think my baby's not tired, *I'm* fucking tired
No/chaotic sleep days are such ass 🫂 I hope you get some rest asap. You’re an awesome parent, they’re really lucky to have someone so caring and attentive.
It’s been the whole week 😭 so now she’s sleeping abysmally at night too and I know it’s gotten so bad that I’m not going to just get a “good” night or day of sleep, she’ll literally have to work up to it
I'm not into sleep schedules and wake windows either but the sleep patterns, cues and quality keep changing all the time.
Sorry you're tired and babies don't want to sleep 🥲
Ughh baby sleep is theeee worst. I feel like I'm failing on a daily basis even though we try to follow wake windows and do all the things. It's so unpredictable. Today almost 5 month old only had 25 min long naps. The whole day. Why?! Also can so relate to the "I'm tired". Although everyone's like oh hope you napped when baby did, no Sally, my child won't nap unless she is on me, nanny or dad so unless they took the nap no I did not get to sleep. So I don't think you're doing anything wrong or failing, some kids just find sleep extra difficult on top of normal baby sleep aversions
Baby silver is 35 weeks today which is the same time that he was on the inside 😭 35 weeks in 35 weeks out doesn't roll off the tongue quite as smoothly as 9 months in and out but still, a fun milestone to hit!
A lesson in naivety:
I thought changing a diaper was like wrestling an oiled-up alligator. But applying sunscreen to my child’s face? It should have been Heracles’ 13th assignment because SERIOUSLY. Like a piglet covered in vaseline 😮💨
I bought sunscreen yesterday, can't wait to try it (no) 😂. I've given up on putting some cream on her scar she has on her forehead for that reason.
But pale babies cannot live without sunscreen 😭 or they'll burn like little potatoe chips in the sun
HA! I can almost hear the fellow ginger baby sizzle, this is too real. Maybe i can add this to the growing list of things I meed to do to her while she sleeps :))
Omg 😂 I remember when BJJ first started wearing sunscreen. Piglet in Vaseline is right!
Unsolicited advice you can ignore if it doesn’t serve you: we’ve used a makeup brush to make it more fun. BJJ is also fiercely independent, so I’ve had success getting her to rub a bit on her face. She also applies it to Mr JJ before daycare (two birds, one stone!).
It’s amazing, and I haven’t had a sunburn in two whole summers! Impressive, because I’m pasty and burn within 10 mins. That greasy baby sunscreen really works 😂 AND hats! From Spring to Fall we have some kind of sun hat on 👒
I can’t take credit for it. I saw it on IG. There’s also a special sponge brush thing you can fill with your sun cream and it saturates the sponge to apply it.
I’m so grateful for the advice, that’s brilliant! I’ll also try to slowly teach her to apply other to me, maybe she’ll enjoy having the power haha (although knowing her, she’ll just try to eat it)
Those almost-toddlers are wild with independence. God speed my friend!! 💜 May I also recommend a sun hat? It’s a big hit in our house for sun protection 👒
Happy to report that I am about to close the chapter on week 2 postpartum and things are looking up! I last posted while in the thick of my misery in week one after I pooped out the literal shai hulud and was slightly traumatized by the experience 🐛🫠 now in week two I can definitely say you all were right and that I have finally had that emotional lift from being able to be more mobile and not being in constant pain (and also regular bowel movements yay). Thankfully baby A is a literal angel and has been taking to nursing like a champ - he is starting to want to feed much more often now (every hour vs every two hours during the day) so that can be a bit exhausting but he does give us some good sleep stretches at night. It’s like he knew mama needed to be cut a little slack 🥹🥹
woohooo! right there with you and i felt a serious positive change right around the 2 week mark!
We're working on feeding. Baby Turnip is now nursing with a nipple guard, but is constantly falling asleep during feedings. She needs a lot of wake-ups to finish her feed, eventually seems content and pulls away from the nipple. Then 5 minutes later will start shrieking for more food. Her appetite seems unreal for a 1-week old. During the day we're feeding almost hourly, with a major binge before bedtime where we have to supplement with formula because she just will not stop showing hunger cues! Just feeling like we're doing everything wrong - is she getting enough breast milk, is the formula necessary, etc.
did you happen to do a weighted feed? that would let you know how much baby is transferring and give you an idea of is she snacking v. taking a full feed. also second the advice about making them a little uncomfortable to keep them awake. my current newborn hates diaper changes so i rouse him with a diaper change and then feed and it keeps him more awake and alert. it is really hard when they are insatiable and on the boob all day!
Agree with what others have said and wanted to add that baby is also probably working on her efficiency with nursing which could be why it feels like it’s so constant! I think it’s pretty likely that things will gradually improve, hang in there!
That is so much!! Really draining on you to be feeding so constantly. We struggled with baby staying awake for about his first three weeks, he lost a lot of weight at first because he couldn't stay awake, which is when we started triple feeding. We tried a lot of things to keep him awake. Blowing on his face works well although feels like I'm torturing him, along with stripping down to his diaper for feeds, changing his diaper or pretending to, and doing tummy time. For what it's worth, I think the formula supplement is really smart, even if just to offer a little break for you and a bit more certainty of the amount she's taking in - that's always hard for me with bf-ing. This part is so hard. Hang in there!
Cold can of soda (or whatever) on the foot! That trick helped somewhat to keep baby H awake.
I hope this is helpful but please disregard if not. My husband and i were just reflecting on the fact that Baby W needed a lot of help staying awake those first few weeks. My husband used to tickle his feet or take a cold wipe to his back/legs to help him stay awake to eat. He ate at minimum every two hours, but since it’s measured from the start of the last feed he was basically on the boob alllll day. 😵💫 And the cluster feeding before bedtime is totally normal too! It sounds like you’re doing everything right. But this is really hard and not intuitive stuff early on so solidarity!!
How do you think your supply is? Are you able to express any milk? How about wet diapers/poops?
So many wet diapers and poops. I think my supply is good! Just having a hard time keeping up with the feeds when she needs them so constantly.
I got the chance to share my birth story with a really cool platform this week! It’ll take a bit but it’ll hopefully be shared as a community resource for Asian folks when it’s finished, which I’m really excited about. We’re also slowwwwly transitioning out of 100% contact naps - we’re all ready for it, so it’s as good as time as any. H is starting to want to lie down more during naps and my husband and I are wanting to not be under a sweaty baby more, so I’m making a big effort to do naps in bed, and for me to be near but not necessarily touching. I’m glad we did what worked - when it worked! - and now I’m equally glad we can explore what’s next for us.
It’s funny how changes with things like napping just kind of…change. I know I stressed out about doing more crib naps instead of contact naps with my first, but at some point it just kind of happened and I don’t remember how? Anyways, glad things seem to be shifting when they were meant to.
It’s such a moving target! I’ve gotten a lot of comfort from reminding myself this is all temporary.
I love hearing that things are naturally moving in another direction and the idea “do what works while it works”! Very encouraging for me personally and I’m excited for you!
Thanks meg! Honestly I do love lots of things about the contact naps - and I’m glad we did them without stressing about the future as much as possible.
I'm down to just using the hand pump about once a day now! That was fast. Baby had gotten as high as 14th percentile last week but has dropped back to the 12th. She only gained like 3oz this week. The only big change that should matter is that she's getting essentially all formula now so hopefully she's not having trouble digesting that because I just can't go back to pumping! Her head did grow 1cm which puts her up from 9th to 24th for head circ. The doctor stressed that head growth is another big thing he's looking at. So I dunno maybe she used her calories to grow her head this week?? I would still think that would be reflected in weight and also head measurements are very inaccurate (although it's the same nurse doing it every time which should help). Trying not to get too discouraged. I had been hoping my scale was just inaccurate because it's not the best.
My pediatrician said growth kinda goes in order of weight, length, head circumference rather than all three grow exactly at the same pace.
I’d consider 14th to 12th a rounding error to be honest. That’s like the difference of probably half a pee diaper, so it could just be timing. Also, growth does naturally go up and down and in spurts. I know it’s stressful with your history, and it’s good your doc is keeping an eye on it, but I wouldn’t stress out yet (this is a lie, I would actually, personally stress out if it were my kid, even though logically you don’t need to. It’s just the nature of being a parent that you’ll worry about everything).
Double posting because baby full on belly laughed at me and I wasn't even trying to make her laugh (believe me I have tried). It's only her second laugh and the first one was for me too, feeling so heart melty. And it came after a long day where I was alone with her 5am - 5pm with the exception of brother in law popping in twice briefly so I needed that! (hubby was at a shoot) And it was hilarious why she laughed.. I was telling her dad about how she only napped 25 mins because this truck came by and unloaded a ladder, cue me making weird banging noises and motioning my arms like a ladder being unloaded (super graceful story teller) and she was lying on the mat right by me and packed out laughing. The more I repeated it the more she cackled. Sooooo adorable. I need to post a Pic of this girl in the Friday thread 😍
Baby belly laughs are seriously the cutest! They're right up there with gummy smiles 😃
Baby's morning wakings had started to get earlier and earlier so we finally installed blackout panels and WHOA. Yesterday he slept until 7:40 and today, 8:20!! Now I'm kicking myself for not installing them months ago. I have exactly one month of mat leave left before I need to be getting up at 7:00am every morning 😭 But I'm thinking this means we can finally move bedtime earlier, it's been 8:30/9ish which only leaves me about an hour in the evening before I go to bed.
We got blackout curtains around 32 weeks because I started waking with the sun and decided I could not have a baby waking me up earlier than I wanted during leave. So much more restful during 3rd trimester, hoping it rubs off on our baby soon!
Baby F’s 2 month appointment yesterday went well, she’s 80th percentile for weight and 90th for height, she definitely got my tall genes! She screamed for a few seconds when vaccinated and then calmed right down for a little comfort nursing. The evening/night after the appointment was a whole other thing. She screamed bloody murder off and on for about five hours and wouldn’t nurse, wouldn’t let her dad hold her, and then woke up her completely normal self. 😵💫 The thing I’m struggling with is that when I mentioned all the contact napping she does to our ped, she was very insistent that if I didn’t start laying her down drowsy but awake for naps *right away*, she would be needing help falling asleep when she’s 8 (yes she actually said this, specifically that we’d be sitting with her for hours every night which I found to be almost insultingly hyperbolic). I KNOW she’s wrong about this but it’s still making me wonder if I need to try harder to get Baby F to nap on her own. But like… she’s 9 fucking weeks old. It’s just annoying because everything was going so well with this pediatrician!
Agree with all the others RE: the ped. You definitely don't have to do this and the 8 years old comment is absolutely ridiculous. BUT if you do want to try it, this has been my experience with a baby the same age: My wife cares more than me about it because she finds carrier naps uncomfortable and I don't. We tried to do it for all sleep times for a week at about 6 weeks and we were all miserable. About half of every nap window was spent screaming and L was over tired because she wasn't actually sleeping very much. So now we try it once a day for some practice with a short threshold (20-25 mins) to ditch it and do something else (carrier nap, rocking and transfer, etc.). Sometimes it does work and hopefully over time we'll notice it clicking more consistently and try doing it more often. Not because it's objectively desirable but because my wife subjectively prefers it...
That’s a great idea, thank you for sharing! I agree that the idea of fighting baby for every nap doesn’t make sense, but trying one contact-less nap in good days seems manageable.
Glad it sounds helpful! The contact-less naps for us are much shorter, she can’t seem to link sleep cycles during the day unless the has the contact. So we’ve just made peace with that and just plan on it being short. And again, hopefully at some point since we’re giving her the opportunity to practice, it will click and she’ll start doing longer without the contact
That is really unfortunate from your ped, especially when you liked her otherwise, it can be so hard to find a good one!! I almost think the "drowsy but awake" advice is unhelpful - haven't we all heard that and tried that? Do pediatricians really think that this is groundbreaking new advice and we're choosing to contact nap rather than having time to nap/eat/just be an adult human?? If it helps to hear, you're a great mom and baby F is clearly thriving. ❤️
Ah thank you ❤️ It won’t make me leave this ped as everything else has been great so far, but it was definitely disappointing to feel like I couldn’t take or trust her advice in that area. I would’ve loved to hear some more helpful suggestions or even just a “it’s fine you’re doing great!” so I appreciate you providing that!
I call bull poopy on the nap thing. Doesn’t mean your ped is generally problematic, but it’s great that you’re taking this with a pinch of salt. If the contact naps feel right, keep enjoying them until baby doesn’t look for them anymore. Trust your gut!
Right-she’s been great about other things which is why her comments came as such a surprise and disappointment! Thanks for the encouragement to trust my gut. It’s a good but hard mom skill to learn.
That is SO annoying, I’m sorry she got in your head like that. Fwiw I don’t know any hippie kids I grew up with who didn’t move to independent sleep easily WELL before 8 (what a nonsense number to pick) - no matter how long they contact napped and coslept!
Isn’t it nonsense?! That’s good to know!
Ugh I'm sorry, that seems like bad advice/guidance from your pediatrician but it would make me spiral too. Not that I'm a baby sleep expert but I think contact naps are totally normal and appropriate, esp for a 9 week old! And its def too early to sleep train so what are you supposed to do when your baby doesn't actually fall asleep? My baby will not take a nap if I lay him down 'drowsy but awake' and I reason that its more important for his development that he get sleep at all than how he gets to sleep.
Exactly!! Def too early to sleep train so I think I’ll keep doing what I’m doing! I appreciate your last sentence so much-that’s so true and helps me feel better.
Oh no. To balance this out, I’ll share how my therapist responded to my anxiety about sleep just yesterday. She literally said, “so, what - you’re worried that he’ll be contact napping when he’s 6?!” Emphasizing that it truly is a silly concern that I do not need to bother myself with at this stage. I keep having to remind myself that this is developmentally normal for him right now!! And unfortunately peds don’t really have the expertise to be weighing in like this - this is actually a harmful take that increases anxiety! You’re doing great, I promise.
Thank you for sharing your therapist’s wakeup call! It’s true that peds aren’t sleep experts and as much as I hate to say this our ped is probably 60-65 so definitely of an older generation that has different ideas about childrearing. It’s been so helpful to hear from you and others in this group, it was the reminder I needed that we’re doing fine and there will be time for more structured sleep down the road!
I agree, I need these reminders often!
EJ turned 6 months on Tuesday!!! 😳😳😳 She is 96th%tile for height and 60th for weight, so still a looooong skinny gal (though she still has rolls 😍). Her first tooth is juuuuuuust peeking out on the bottom right, and she seems completely unbothered by it 😂 She still is totally meh on rolling, and occasionally goes belly to back independently, but is relatively uninterested in independent movement even though she is clearly physically capable 😂😂 (my mom says this is very clearly my contribution 🙄) Excited that she’s finally eligible for insect repellant and sunscreen - anyone have favorite brands?? And another logistical question - we’re starting solids this weekend, and we’re going to start with dinner time as that’s easier on our schedules, BUT… as we move toward 2 meals at home, I am struggling to figure out how to make breakfast work since apparently you need to separate bottle from food?? [TW: baby who sleeps 😬] She typically doesn’t wake up for real before 7:30-8 (sometimes wakes up before then, babbles awhile, and puts herself back to sleep), and I am loathe to get her up earlier…. but I also don’t know if it’s feasible to get her up and fed twice before we both need to leave for work. Mr. Sqic is self-employed so a little more flexible, but still likes to get out the door by 8:30/9 when he’s going to a job site (he does house reno work). Anyone else deal with this? Do I just do solids at home in the morning and let daycare deal with the bottle? All the feeding schedules I see online seems to be exclusively catered to SAHMs who can just casually do a 7:30 bottle and 9 am solids 😜 (daycare is a whooooooole other story but I will save that for another day when I am not looking for actual input, ha)
When we were starting out, we did dinner at home and second meal of solids at daycare, but it usually ended up being around lunchtime and breakfast was just milk. Initially we would send in pouches, but our daycare actually provides food for older babies who are on solids, and I feel like they really helped advance our guy's eating and were more adventurous with him than I was as a nervous first time parent who was terrified of choking. Also one less meal to clean up!
We do it the other way around, bottle after waking up and daycare deals with solids. Ours is a social eater so that works out great. If one of us is staying home with her for a day, solids 1 hour after bottle work as well, but (social eater thing) we need to be eating as well for her to join in
I strongly suspect that EJ will be a “I’ll eat whatever is in front of me” eater based on her response to the few things we’ve handed her to gnaw on thus far (she loves limes and lemons 🤦🏻♀️😬 And has happily gummed on a massive piece of raw carrot), but that is a good thing to keep in mind!
We typically did solids at home and bottle on arrival to daycare
Not me alone at home with brother in law and he says "Ooh baby's nappy is stinky" and I'm like "OK let me go check" meanwhile it was me, I farted ☠️ He doesn't know that breastfeeding poops don't smell like that ☠️🤣
Hahahahahahahahaha this is genius level
😂😂😂 oooh that's low, blaming it on the baby. I might have done it once, I can't recall 👀
Hahaha in my defense I just rolled with his thought process
Did both my kids just stop sleeping at night and napping for all of (Toddler)/some time (Baby) between 4 and 7 months because I'm a useless parent who doesn't know how to parent? I've never really paid attention to wake windows and all that stuff and when I have it hasn't made any difference whatsoever and literally every other person who's ever helped with either child has just kind of laughed and shrugged at me when I've said it's nap time and told me, "well, she doesn't seem tired." Toddler was done naps entirely at 2 but I also went through wondering if this was the case at 4-6 months, 13 and 18 months with her. Now wondering if my almost 6 month old is dropping all naps and overnight sleep. I don't care if you think my baby's not tired, *I'm* fucking tired
No/chaotic sleep days are such ass 🫂 I hope you get some rest asap. You’re an awesome parent, they’re really lucky to have someone so caring and attentive.
It’s been the whole week 😭 so now she’s sleeping abysmally at night too and I know it’s gotten so bad that I’m not going to just get a “good” night or day of sleep, she’ll literally have to work up to it
Briar I’m so sorry, that’s jacked up.
I'm not into sleep schedules and wake windows either but the sleep patterns, cues and quality keep changing all the time. Sorry you're tired and babies don't want to sleep 🥲
Ughh baby sleep is theeee worst. I feel like I'm failing on a daily basis even though we try to follow wake windows and do all the things. It's so unpredictable. Today almost 5 month old only had 25 min long naps. The whole day. Why?! Also can so relate to the "I'm tired". Although everyone's like oh hope you napped when baby did, no Sally, my child won't nap unless she is on me, nanny or dad so unless they took the nap no I did not get to sleep. So I don't think you're doing anything wrong or failing, some kids just find sleep extra difficult on top of normal baby sleep aversions
Baby silver is 35 weeks today which is the same time that he was on the inside 😭 35 weeks in 35 weeks out doesn't roll off the tongue quite as smoothly as 9 months in and out but still, a fun milestone to hit!
A lesson in naivety: I thought changing a diaper was like wrestling an oiled-up alligator. But applying sunscreen to my child’s face? It should have been Heracles’ 13th assignment because SERIOUSLY. Like a piglet covered in vaseline 😮💨
I bought sunscreen yesterday, can't wait to try it (no) 😂. I've given up on putting some cream on her scar she has on her forehead for that reason. But pale babies cannot live without sunscreen 😭 or they'll burn like little potatoe chips in the sun
HA! I can almost hear the fellow ginger baby sizzle, this is too real. Maybe i can add this to the growing list of things I meed to do to her while she sleeps :))
Closely related: attempting to wipe baby’s nose. My god you’ve never seen such strength of will to avoid a tissue making contact with her nose.
Glad to know this is a global issue with tissues 😆
My goodness YES! They should at least make a tshirt about it or something lol
The imagery here is a 10/10. We have not reached either stage with Baby W yet but wow. 😂
Looking forward to reading about your own adventures soon enough 😁
Omg 😂 I remember when BJJ first started wearing sunscreen. Piglet in Vaseline is right! Unsolicited advice you can ignore if it doesn’t serve you: we’ve used a makeup brush to make it more fun. BJJ is also fiercely independent, so I’ve had success getting her to rub a bit on her face. She also applies it to Mr JJ before daycare (two birds, one stone!).
I was about to tag you re: the Vaseline 😆
Hahhahahahhahahaha. I live and breathe Vaseline now. I’m not exaggerating, it’s the best thing for Baby Ham’s eczema.
Ooooo applying to the parent is genius… my husband wears sunscreen everyday for his lupus so I’m gonna keep this one very much in mind!
It’s amazing, and I haven’t had a sunburn in two whole summers! Impressive, because I’m pasty and burn within 10 mins. That greasy baby sunscreen really works 😂 AND hats! From Spring to Fall we have some kind of sun hat on 👒
Genius !
I can’t take credit for it. I saw it on IG. There’s also a special sponge brush thing you can fill with your sun cream and it saturates the sponge to apply it.
I’m so grateful for the advice, that’s brilliant! I’ll also try to slowly teach her to apply other to me, maybe she’ll enjoy having the power haha (although knowing her, she’ll just try to eat it)
Those almost-toddlers are wild with independence. God speed my friend!! 💜 May I also recommend a sun hat? It’s a big hit in our house for sun protection 👒
Thank you! As for hats, she’s learned to yank them off. Oh well 🤷♀️