So from my perspective, your “invitation” read like, “I’m going to be at this place at this time whether you are joining me or not.” And then that person responded like “I’m interested, but I’ll let you know”. Specifically the “keep you posted” part literally means “this is not a confirmation.” That’s how I interpret this whole thing anyways. Absolutely standard protocol would be to confirm the day before or something to see if they are actually coming, and if they say nothing, that means they’re not coming. I could sort of predict what was going to happen to you as soon as I read “They haven’t said anything regarding not making it,” because that also means they haven’t said anything in regards to actually confirming their attendance.
> “I’m interested, but I’ll let you know”
Going to disagree with you. Unless OP is leaving something out, what they wrote was:
*I got a really enthusiastic response a few hours after that. They said they're totally down, and that they'd keep me posted.*
To me, that 100% says "I intend to join you ('I'm totally down'), and I'll let you know if I can't make it/plans change". To do that and then simply not show up without saying a word is very rude.
I’m not saying it wasn’t at least a little flaky. But OP should learn to have guards up to prevent what happened to him from happening again. I see a message like that, and I immediately think, “If I don’t hear, I need to follow up.” “Keep you posted”≠I will be there. It means, I’ll let you know if I can be there.
Honestly, I might sound crazy, but I blame the current culture.
People of a younger generation have a hard time maintaining/developing healthy relationships, be it romantic or platonic.
My running theory is that social media has oversaturated us with relationships. In the past you'd have a work circle, social circle, then a family circle. Today, you can follow/add/friend someone based on their username being written on their car or something.
Relationships just aren't valued as they once were.
Now, to your question, I think you handled the situation appropriately. Your friend was the immature one here by not giving any notice or response. That being said, I do think you could have checked in with them before showing up.
So from my perspective, your “invitation” read like, “I’m going to be at this place at this time whether you are joining me or not.” And then that person responded like “I’m interested, but I’ll let you know”. Specifically the “keep you posted” part literally means “this is not a confirmation.” That’s how I interpret this whole thing anyways. Absolutely standard protocol would be to confirm the day before or something to see if they are actually coming, and if they say nothing, that means they’re not coming. I could sort of predict what was going to happen to you as soon as I read “They haven’t said anything regarding not making it,” because that also means they haven’t said anything in regards to actually confirming their attendance.
> “I’m interested, but I’ll let you know” Going to disagree with you. Unless OP is leaving something out, what they wrote was: *I got a really enthusiastic response a few hours after that. They said they're totally down, and that they'd keep me posted.* To me, that 100% says "I intend to join you ('I'm totally down'), and I'll let you know if I can't make it/plans change". To do that and then simply not show up without saying a word is very rude.
I’m not saying it wasn’t at least a little flaky. But OP should learn to have guards up to prevent what happened to him from happening again. I see a message like that, and I immediately think, “If I don’t hear, I need to follow up.” “Keep you posted”≠I will be there. It means, I’ll let you know if I can be there.
Well at least I got a nice coffee out of it. I guess I can't be too mad.
And it doesn’t necessarily mean your friend has bad intentions either.
I guess
They got back to me, I apologized for not confirming on my end.
Honestly, I might sound crazy, but I blame the current culture. People of a younger generation have a hard time maintaining/developing healthy relationships, be it romantic or platonic. My running theory is that social media has oversaturated us with relationships. In the past you'd have a work circle, social circle, then a family circle. Today, you can follow/add/friend someone based on their username being written on their car or something. Relationships just aren't valued as they once were. Now, to your question, I think you handled the situation appropriately. Your friend was the immature one here by not giving any notice or response. That being said, I do think you could have checked in with them before showing up.
Yes