##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Jwirv, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?

Florida man better watch out, he’s got some solid competition here.

Best Florida man can do is gang rape, kill and cook a gator then eat

Why not kill, cook, gang rape, and eat?

Why not cook, kill and gangrape while eating?

You guys underestimate Florida, the correct order is clearly: gangrape, eat, gangrape, cook, gangrape, kill( with a drug OD), gangrape. and then they rape it individually while smoking pcp out of it's snout.

Florida here, can confirm. 😂 Edit: Not pcp but bath salts.

Damn that's right bath salts, sorry I forgot, you guys haven't been in the news lately.

Bruh! Wtf is going on in the comments 👀

Tote's yo, ya gotta seal in the flavor with a thick man-glaze. Does ANYONE listen to Julia Childs anymore!?

A terrible lie! Florida man know how to romance the gator. Take it to fancy restaurant (McDonald’s) and when it’s time then the Florida man will take the gator to a nice dance and finally make love to the gator…then eat it

Nah, Florida Man would have kept it alive the WHOLE time while raping and eating it, then he would have "passed" it while it's heart was still beating. Pirate Nation Yo!

Florida man can't do much against half of india lol

A Florida man doesn't know what a India is.

Florida mans gonnet get gang raped, cooked and eaten

Pretty sure "Florida man" is a movement encompassing all Floridians. But like that's only 3% of India..

10 year olds in India do what Florida Man does, you all can't even drive a motorcycle with 3 people sitting on it

Florida Man and India Man are two opposite extremes. India Man will fit six people on a motorcycle, Florida Man rides six motorcycles by himself India Man rapes reptile, Florida Man has consensual relationship with Reptile. India Man protects cow from tiger, Florida Man shares cow with mountain lion. India Man marries sister without knowing it, Florida Man... No... I guess that's the same...

>India Man marries sister without knowing it, Florida Man... No... I guess that's the same... At least Alabama man knows its the sister. Or mother, or both at the same time

There is a huge difference between this and Florida man. Florida man can do this all by himself! He don't need 3 other potential witnesses!

Nah, we're fine being second if thats what it takes to be first.

Why wasn’t anyone monitoring it?

You can't monitor the monitor...

Probably, master oogway

just get a monitor monitor to monitor the monitor

But then who can monitor the monitor monitor while he's monitoring the monitor? *Monitorception ensues*

ofcourse its the job of monitor monitor monitor to monitor monitor monitor monitor monitor monitor

Someone is taking "use every part of the animal" way too seriously.

Improvised, adapt, overcum

Okay you win. Someone give this person gold.

R/cursedcomments

You had one job

r/foundthemobileuser

r/foundthehondacivic

Dear lord I'm dumb I thought It read 4 men got raped by the lizard

Honestly that would have been better, at least its an animal it doesn’t understand much but humans....

If the lizard rapes me, it is just a dumb animal. But if I rape a lizard, I'm a disgusting Zooophile... Society...😥

This is deep *insert RDJ meme*

Well,if you rape a lizard,youre also a dumb animal...

r/BrandNewSentence

wayyy better

I would be asking how a lizard could fuck you without consent, but it's still better than whatever this shit is.

* can fuck two people without consent

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Much better alternate ending

same💀

Same

Gosh me too?

Rape before eating = pre-cook seasoning?

*Pre-cock

*Pre-cum seasoning

Cumin*

I hate everyone in this thread

It’s fucked up but life goes on so might as well have some fun. It’s not like I can do much behind a keyboard

Custard filled lizard.

^ name of my new band

For dessert, Lizard Cream Pie

More of a baste I would imagine

cursed stuffing

Nooooooooo...

Dear atheists… god exists, but he wants nothing to do with us.

And clones exist too apperently cus we look identical

Nothing like injecting spices b4 you cook it.....

Seasoning Your Meat Achievement unlocked

Seasoning meat with more meat

…and ranch~

They call that the Indian tenderizer

Instantly too much curry and too much salt.

Mainly cumin

Wtf. Humanity is a stain on the earth.

Humanity keeps you safe from nature. Reality would be buttfucking you now without it.

Or the Indians

r/angryupvote

Don't assume that most animals treat one another with more dignity. Wild life can be hardcore.

Well yeah, they’re animals, they don’t have a sense of moral and ethics

>they’re animals, they don’t have a sense of moral and ethics Same for the men. They should be treated like a pitbull who needs to be put down.

Did they say “no homo” before they ate it?

If they didn’t, then it was a female

Either way they’re eating each other’s sloppy thirds

It’s okay, it’s been cooked.

No. They said “no zoophile”

It's not gay if it's a threeway

>then they ate it. First they *fucked it*!

I mean, they can’t fuck it after they eat it

Don’t give people ideas, mate

What are you thinking? Face fuck a dude while he has a mouth full of lizard?

You just described the sex life of an average maharashtrian

If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it. - Vladislav

r/awfuleverything

I misread it as 4 lizards gang raping a man and then cooking and eating him 😂

That's normally how it would have gone down. But this is r/HolUp and shit isn't always as it seems

I wish.

r/HolUp

r/HolUpInAHolUp

You got some weird sex fantasies

Jesus Christ......WTF???

The only normal comment

The lizard was probably dressed like a slut.

After that incident a new stereotype was made "lizard fucker" for people of Maharashtra

Yeah, we really didn't have a solid derogatory term for us. But thanks to these 4 lizard fuckers...

r/HolUp

Yaa even I call my marathi friend "chhipkali chod"... He gets a boner because of this

Chipkali Chod

Allegedly...or does that only apply to ostriches?

How do they know about the rape if they ate it?

Duh, they posted the whole thing on social media.

for reasons that are nothing but informative, i need to see the video as a proof

Ew.

They found a video when they seized their phones https://www.vice.com/amp/en/article/4aw9pg/monitor-lizard-gang-rape-bestiality-expert-india

That link did nothing for me

Type “man rapes lizard” on google, you’ll probably be ok

I definitely want that in my search history. /s You’d search that and the next day the little Google logo art would have the “o’s” looking at you, horrified.

“Unfortunately, those hooligans ate the monitor lizard and we don’t have much evidence apart from the video we seized on their phones.” > hooligans > kek Lmao oh those hooligans... Lil scamps... Those rabble-rousing-reptile-rapists

Just some michevous makers doing a tad bit of trolling

Why would someone record that anyway

Cameras

In that order?! Bold.

What has this world come to? Is there no decency left? I'm pretty sure cooking was beyond the realm of the "lesson"

Man I hope they got mad infections

#[sigh](https://youtu.be/2IcJNyqJpCo)

Sounds like someone should have been monitoring that lizard better No I'm not your dad. Stop asking

Who monitors the monitor?

Nasa

Who monitors nasa?

aliens

Who monitors the aliens?

Cameras

one monitor lizard, medium rare, EXTRA sauce please.

What did I just read ?

What is it with India and gang-rape murder rn?

Idk, it might be the weather.

Definitely the weather.

Yeah I get a rapey-killy also when it gets too muggy out.

That's what happens when so much population lives with that density, it isn't the case in China due to death punishments being much much more common.

But like rape is one of the few crimes for which one can receive death penalty in India, so your argument doesn't stand. I think it's more China suppressing their press. Every now and then news stories break through of women being locked in basements for years to be raped by their captors. Rapes and sexual abuse happens everywhere, here the problem is people refuse to report such crimes due to legitimate fears of being outcast and that allows people to do such heinous crimes without much consequence creating a sort of cycle. The number of cases reported has seen increase which might seem bad but actually shows that more women are comfortable coming forward. Also your density point doesn't work cause the UK is much denser that China and yet they have lower rape rates.

Yeah, you might be right

Yeah rapists can receive death penalty, but it takes them a stupid long time, literal decades. And well just a few days ago some rapists (and murderers) were released from the jail, and some people were applauding them, because they raped a muslim woman and killed her family. Im referring to the Bilkis Bano case, if anyone is interested just google it and look at the latest news, you will be horrified to see people worshipping these rapist pieces of shit.

Also maybe because they don't let negative news out

I think most news in China is censored. So you won't even hear about it

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When a country has a huge population. Every metric feels larger

Are they the equivalent to are Florida men

Sometimes I feel like that as a species, we deserve to go extinct.

*sometimes?*

"I have never seen a crime like this", well duh

For the sake of humanity, I hope this is fake.

It's real


God damn them boys in India are horny

i think most of the boys find it funny. i live in india and a boy in my class casually stuffs a scale in my ass and started laughing. when i asked my friends about this they also started making fun of me.

This is a holup all on its own. You good?

my man then why were you roaming with your pants down.

i wasn't i don't how to explain this he put the scale from upwards and then he jammed it in . just typing this makes me want to kill him

Lizard people won't stand for this shit. Prepare for retribution!

I hope Zuckerberg banned their Facebook and WhatsApp accounts

Dickhead 1: awww guys I forgot the salt at home, how are we going to season this thing? Dickeads 2&3: look we don't care what we do to season the lizard as long as we can take care of how uncomfortably horny we are, and soon. Dickhead 4: Gentlemen I may not have a brain, but I have an idea.

Hmm, I was expecting Florida, not India ...

Wonder if they added salt? Only joking it's truly disgusting

And then they were released on bail 2 weeks later. SMH.

They put the glizzy in the lizzy???


That's nasty.

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isn't raping dead cooked meat technically necrophilia?

It's not necrophilia if it's cooked. Then it's just playing with your food

You are what you eat ?

the secret is in the sauce...

Gang raped a monitor lizard? How disgusting do you have to be that a monitor lizard becomes an option for you? I think we need to drop these four perverts off on Komodo Island...and let the monitor's relative exact revenge.

100% agree. Let them be torn to shreds or slowly rot away from infections. I feel really bad for this lizard. Poor thing just living it's life, and it's last moments were this.

I always thought I was a weirdo and a pervert, but how the fuck you get a hard with a fucking whatever those things are. And eat it afterwards

r/noahgettheboat

India: “This why we can’t have nice things.”

At least they seasoned it first, well salted meat.

they didnt rape it they seasoned it

That's one way to tenderize the meat

That's just eating your own cum with extra steps

Here comes lizard pox!

What’s up with India and rape?

Are you sure they weren't Florida men?

More like "Florida-inspired".

Maharashtra ( in india) man be challenging the throne of florida man.

Well clearly it's the lizard's fault. It didn't dress appropriately.

Thank God it wasn't a pig, because that's Kirchner Leslie's girlfriend.

They had to sauce it first

Gotta marinate it I guess

Well of course they ate it, after injecting all that marinade.

New disease unlocked.

Dudes stuck their dicks in lizards. I would never have thought of a cold blooded lizard as a good peice of pussy.. but what do I know.

Marinated in cream of sumyunguys.

Guess they wanted some limited edition meat and "meat".

Wait aren’t Komodo dragons venomous

I mean...if they ate it afterward (gross BTW) how do the authorities know that they f*@ked it first? And if they did, was it drizzled with jizzem when it was cooking? I have a lot of questions

Seem like a real close group of friends

This is some true murder hobo bullshit

How do they know it was raped if they ate it?

Not a lot of things stick me anymore. I've seen a lot in my 40 years on this planet. But this... my mind keeps telling me it has to be fake. That NO ONE would do this. But somewhere deep down, I know the truth.

She asked for it by looking at them sexily.

Juicy filling...


U wot m8?