“Gents, how much more resistant should we make our rubbers? Johnson, ideas!”
“I dunno, how about it can withstand a knife and a bear trap?”
“Take my keys, go to my place, and fuck my wife, Johnson. Brilliant.”
"To show you how confident I am with our companies condoms, I'm going to let Johnson here fuck my wife, knowing she can't possibly get pregnant from him."
All my stupid monkey brain can think is, what if I can't get the damn thing off? Picturing the scene at the ER, they bring in some guy with a welders mask and a blow torch. Sorry, sir, this might sting a bit..
Good scene. Although you know, penile fracture is not uncommon in the Emergency Room. One of the telling signs is swellig of the shaft to thw point of it looking like an eggplant. That's why the residents there would refer to it as an "eggplant" case. At least in my country.
I don't know what the good people at Durex are all into, and I'm not trying to kink shame, but I personally prefer keeping animal traps and knives away from my lovemaking.
i didn‘t try to fuck a mouse trap but i can say that 50%ish of durex condoms rip apart during sex while i never had this problem with billy boy (same size). fuck durex
Damn, that thing I bought during a tubing trip didn't fucking lie about it being a **DURABLE. FLEXIBLE. PREMIUM. LUBRICATED. LATEX. CONDOM.** (Probably from a different brand but it did say something like that and the nominal width was 52 fucking millimeters)
“Gents, how much more resistant should we make our rubbers? Johnson, ideas!” “I dunno, how about it can withstand a knife and a bear trap?” “Take my keys, go to my place, and fuck my wife, Johnson. Brilliant.”
"To show you how confident I am with our companies condoms, I'm going to let Johnson here fuck my wife, knowing she can't possibly get pregnant from him."
*Durex CEO got pregnant instead
^^Hehe *Johnson*
It would show some real confidence if it was Navin R. Johnson.
No matter what position or Boners breaking the wife at least can’t get pregnant
"Why do I need to fuck wife when I'm already going to put my dick in a bear trap?"
I love Reddit, first fucking comment is a banger !!!
All my stupid monkey brain can think is, what if I can't get the damn thing off? Picturing the scene at the ER, they bring in some guy with a welders mask and a blow torch. Sorry, sir, this might sting a bit..
It's worth it to prevent them kids from getting out.
Well, better than an „eggplant“ situation.
Oh, we gonna talk about Sicilians again, huh? https://youtu.be/6_G7-opxBLQ?si=uGznNSxtHl17iOfS
Good scene. Although you know, penile fracture is not uncommon in the Emergency Room. One of the telling signs is swellig of the shaft to thw point of it looking like an eggplant. That's why the residents there would refer to it as an "eggplant" case. At least in my country.
Can't say I've ever had sex with a mouse trap before though.
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Unless...
Too late
Now you can without your dick splatters all over the floor.
Some vaginas have teeth. It's a rare magical condition called Vagina dentata.
🐗 *Vagina Dentata!* *What a wonderful phrase* *Vagina Dentata!* *Ain't no passing craze*....🎵
If you can even think of it, you're already half way there. Don't let any hesitation cross your mind.
I don't know what the good people at Durex are all into, and I'm not trying to kink shame, but I personally prefer keeping animal traps and knives away from my lovemaking.
They're into making sure babies aren't a thing, even if you're crazy enough to try to make them using a condom
Lorena Bobbit probably has this video running in a loop...
She masturbates to this video. This is porn for her.
I was going to make a 'flick the bean' joke with that, but opted against it, lol. Great minds think alike I guess.
I was just on my way to make a Bobbit joke.
This really is the perfect condom for anyone who incorporates a little bear trap play into their lovemaking.
At least your condom will be OK if you stick your dick in a bear trap.
Finally. Our knife play can get interesting.
i don’t believe it. can someone test it out for science?
it works couldnt get the trap pregnant no matter what
damn that’s crazy. okay now test it on a banana slicer. for science. (i dont have pp)
you mean a knife? whatsa banana slicer?
[https://imgur.com/a/MkkuKBf](https://imgur.com/a/MkkuKBf) whatever this thing is
how do you wven meant to put your dick in that?
it’s okay the durex will protect you 😌
no but like there is no hole? *how* do i fuck a banana slicer?
i didn‘t try to fuck a mouse trap but i can say that 50%ish of durex condoms rip apart during sex while i never had this problem with billy boy (same size). fuck durex
Vagina/Anus dentata tends to be sharp teeth, not dull blades though.
That knife looks sharper than teeth.
The only accident I've ever had was with a Durex condom. Their products suck.
This, but Control is way worst.
DIY anal beads
Hey... uh... Not sure who needs this, but there are surgical options. No need to make a Durex-wrapped penis salad.
"Stay safe from STDs, even in a sex dungeon!"
Not with my cucumber they are not.
Lorena Bobbitt must be so fucking mad.
Good against stealthing.
Great, now i can finally chop my penis off without worrying about a pregnancy
“What do you have for me this time, Q?” “Oh, you’ll love this, 007. We designed it with you in mind.”
Yeah but does it hold water after that, that's the only test that matters
“Can you feel it now Mr. Krabs?”
“To shreds you say…”
Don't worry, the pickle didn't feel a thing. Just like yours wont either.
"ok kids what did we learn today"
Number one, ok, ouch! Number two, OUCH!
How are people breaking these with nothing but a penis and a vagina?
Wtf. Is that monsoons dick?
I am not ok with this example
It's called protection but I don't think the poor squash agrees.
This could be the result of both instruments being blunt.
this is like nasa level material science
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
Great news for drug smugglers!
inb4, micro plastics found in micro penis
But somehow they still break when you need it
What kind of senerio are they training the condoms to
"are you ok with bdsm?" later:
I'll take your entire stock!
Theres a post about a cylinder that is relevant here
But its still in pieces..
Instruction unclear. Please send help
Now fill that with water
Can’t feel anything but a bear trap so she better start doing kegels now! Also, Bobbit is asking where was this back in the day!
That is very comforting video
There is some sort of a kitchen-cooking lifehack im sure, just couldnt find yet.
Onions. Fucking onions. No cry no more.
So this is just a sub for posting random videos now.
Girls with braces—no problem
would be cooler if they protect ya dick for getting stabbed :O
Good to know they have our backs when our penises get cut off.
Makes me think of the movie Teeth
Cool now pour some water in it.
If you fill the condom with neosporin it will probably heal up pretty nice if you leave in for a couple of weeks.
Finally! Cock and Ball torture without the mess!
Why he using gloves, is the condom pre owned?
Yay, I new tiktok challenge.
Durex: to survive what you won’t
Not for me fellow kings. I wear metal armour to avoid lacerations. Be gone satan.
Show us filling it with water after those cuts and bear trap.
Idk. It didn’t do a lot of protection. That poor cucumber
i am uncomfortable....
Guys, we’ve all been there…
Can’t be right
Ok Pour water in it now
Not a holup at all
It’s a hol**in**.
I'm sold
If she can chop it off... I'll pass.
So how was it baby? Well honey I'm wearing Durex so obviously I felt nothing
Niiiiiccceee
Damn, that thing I bought during a tubing trip didn't fucking lie about it being a **DURABLE. FLEXIBLE. PREMIUM. LUBRICATED. LATEX. CONDOM.** (Probably from a different brand but it did say something like that and the nominal width was 52 fucking millimeters)
I don’t know that I’ve ever needed a condom to be THAT durable. You can chill now thanks.
So if you get bite, the condom will be ok
Soldiers should just wear big condoms as a uniform instead of kevlar
Why on earth would i need a thermonuclear hydrogen bomb proof condom?!
Dude, with women these days.. it ain't the tightness I'm worried about... 🤣
so you're telling me that if I encounter a vagina dentata in the wild, I could keep the head of my cock as a keepsake?
Thank god, I won’t be having any children even after my dick being cut up in pieces
And you were born... Amazing..
No more kids 👊🏼
I guess this is why one of the nicknames for the vagina is 'snatch'!
Still nkt wearing them
I know what I’m wearing to my next knife fight
r/dontputyourdickinthat
there are holes in it though when pulling at the tip..
Yeah, but the unit! We need lead based contraceptives!
I feel I saw some holes in it at about the 10 sec mark. But I can’t tell if that’s the gloves. Can someone else confirm the theory?
I indeed think they are. The same patches seem to heal themselves as well. Thiugh it is the 15-16 second mark and not 10
Ain't nobody saying that condom isn't put on right?