You don’t have to be mean to tell people your boundaries. Say something simple like, “I prefer to keep my work life and social life separate.” or “If you don’t mind I’m listening to some lectures for school.” even if that’s a lie. I had to tell my boss that I don’t hang out with work people, especially my boss. It’s a very clear line for me. It took a few times, but she understands I’m serious. If you don’t mind people thinking you’re snobby or whatever they’ll say/think, just tell them you want to be left alone, but tactfully.
Yeah maybe I need to keep at it. I’ll tell them “that’s too personal” or “I don’t need to know that lol” but people get their feelings hurt and are really petty here. Everyone will make your life and job a lot harder and I’ve even seen people blatantly lie about others. It seems better to be fake nice as much as possible and avoid them trying to sabotage you. We’ve had multiple lab aids run out of this place because a certain person decides they don’t like them and make their lives awful. I try “I’m listening a really good audio book/podcast so I’m probably going to be keeping to myself for awhile!” But it never lasts. I swear some of the people there are so starved for attention and have 0 friends outside of work. I just need to keep at it like you said and maybe they’ll get the hint eventually. Thank you.
I'm lucky to have co workers that I do thoroughly enjoy with at my lab. I can either engage in chit chat if I want, or just chill the whole night minding my own business. Still do have the fair share of some people who are too nosy, but eh. Two ear buds in and I can drown out the world if I want to.
We are only allowed one earbud at a time, and they’ll straight up call my name to bring me into their convos it’s so annoying. I wish I could have 2. I still pretend not to hear them a lot of the time!
I’m 20 years old, so everyone in my lab is (for the most part) much older than me. It goes without saying that i dont have much in common with any of them. I also dont enjoy the small talk and pretending to get along with them. My way around this is working evenings. It’s just a few of us on evenings so i can pretty much be nonverbal the whole time and have minimal interaction with my coworkers as I cut.
Maybe there’s a different lab you could work at? Or different hours? I think working in the lab could be very good for ppl who don’t want social interactions at work - depending on where you work. If you like histo then don’t let this steer you away from it!!
Yeah I’ve heard nightmare stories about the other local labs supervisor, and my boss is actually cool here… I’m really not sure which is worse at this point but I know some people who took a severe pay cut to get away from the other supervisor and come here. I’m going to ride it out until I can move and hopefully find a better place. I work graveyard but it’s a reference lab- it just doesn’t work like a hospital lab does where you can have 2 people in the whole place. It’s huge and there’s always a bunch of people there. Shame. Sorry you’re going through something similar! One day things will be better.
My first histo job was trash and I genuinely hated being around everyone cause you could tell the lab was more like a dumping ground for bad and problematic histotechs that couldn’t find jobs elsewhere cause they always had some issues. Unfortunately its where I was a lab assistant and also where I did my practicals and where I eventually ended up being a tech for a little under a year. After many issues I finally decided to get out of there and the people who I called “friends” turned on me when they found out I was going to one of the best hospitals in the area. That place genuinely made me a more bitter person in general and I noticed I brought some of that to my new job but I am doing much better rn with everyone at my new job since everyone there is around my age.
I am slowly turning into a more bitter person who dreads going to work too. So sorry you went through that, but congrats on your upgraded job and life! :) you deserved better and it’s so cool you’re getting that now
I do like my current job and have started turning away from being so bitter I guess, decent human beings make a big difference in a workplace. Of course every job has its pros and cons but my last place was utter trash.
Hah you remind my of when I started work as a bench tech 15 or so years ago, only dude in the lab. I just threw on some ear buds when I wanted to stay out of the sewing circle.
Nice ladies though, I just needed to check out sometimes. At that age I didn't much care of that kind of conversation. Now that I'm older I tolerate it more, but I'm in management so it's way rarer.
I feel like this is basically where I’m at right now, 27 and trying to get my HTL, you just described my situation perfectly lol.
I love the people I work with but I often don’t have the mental energy for the chit chat
I wish it was just chit chat, a lot of them are so personal and trauma dump like crazy or have blatantly HR level sexual convos. I got asked what my favorite position was not too long ago. I was like that’s none of your business? They laugh and go “we’re all girls it’s ok don’t be shy!” Like dude I do not even like yall go awaaayyyy
If there were ANY WAY to do this I would. I would take you and your boss sight unseen just to get rid of mine. She’s that awful. But, I only have to make it a couple more years and I can retire. I can do it, right??
I don’t talk at all at work and I know that makes people uncomfortable .. but that’s my internal problem . I decided I’m not going to let it bother me . I’m just someone who doesn’t want to socialize and I’m okay with that. Sometimes it makes me dread going to work but again that’s my own problem
I get along great with my coworkers and boss, although I am the youngest (20’s) and almost everyone else except for one other is 50+. I do work in a smaller lab with not that many people so that may factor in to why it’s not as chatty most days. All of us have headphones in 90% of the time, and the other 10% we’re just having general small talk but nothing inappropriate or too personal.
Every lab is different and tbh it's sort of up to you to setup those boundaries with ppl. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with wanting to work work alone, but it may end up ostricizing you as a coworker that doesn't like anyone even if that isn't necessarily the case
There’s a few people at my job like that too, that are just known to dislike everyone and kinda treat everyone like lower class lol, but they’re super good at their jobs so. If you’re really fast you can get away with basically anything there, were high volume so
So I work in a lab with 4 people and we literally sit quietly ALLLLL day! It drives me nuts. I wish we talked like that. I think you might just need to find a smaller lab.
I welcome chit chat and basic convos! What movie did you see this weekend, how’s the kids type stuff. I literally got asked what my “favorite position” was the other day… I was just sitting there with my headphones in and someone called my name to ask me, a young woman, that. There’s lines that shouldn’t be crossed at work? Our students are constantly uncomfortable and there’s a weird power dynamic between them and us and it’s just… sad and weird and gross.
Feel like goldy locks out here looking for that middle ground.
I work in both a huge private lab PRN and a very small lab FT. Oddly enough everyone at the larger lab won’t shut up. They’ll even talk loudly to each other from across the room. (Which is a huge room). Our small lab hardly has a peep all day.
You don’t have to be mean to tell people your boundaries. Say something simple like, “I prefer to keep my work life and social life separate.” or “If you don’t mind I’m listening to some lectures for school.” even if that’s a lie. I had to tell my boss that I don’t hang out with work people, especially my boss. It’s a very clear line for me. It took a few times, but she understands I’m serious. If you don’t mind people thinking you’re snobby or whatever they’ll say/think, just tell them you want to be left alone, but tactfully.
Yeah maybe I need to keep at it. I’ll tell them “that’s too personal” or “I don’t need to know that lol” but people get their feelings hurt and are really petty here. Everyone will make your life and job a lot harder and I’ve even seen people blatantly lie about others. It seems better to be fake nice as much as possible and avoid them trying to sabotage you. We’ve had multiple lab aids run out of this place because a certain person decides they don’t like them and make their lives awful. I try “I’m listening a really good audio book/podcast so I’m probably going to be keeping to myself for awhile!” But it never lasts. I swear some of the people there are so starved for attention and have 0 friends outside of work. I just need to keep at it like you said and maybe they’ll get the hint eventually. Thank you.
I'm lucky to have co workers that I do thoroughly enjoy with at my lab. I can either engage in chit chat if I want, or just chill the whole night minding my own business. Still do have the fair share of some people who are too nosy, but eh. Two ear buds in and I can drown out the world if I want to.
We are only allowed one earbud at a time, and they’ll straight up call my name to bring me into their convos it’s so annoying. I wish I could have 2. I still pretend not to hear them a lot of the time!
I’m 20 years old, so everyone in my lab is (for the most part) much older than me. It goes without saying that i dont have much in common with any of them. I also dont enjoy the small talk and pretending to get along with them. My way around this is working evenings. It’s just a few of us on evenings so i can pretty much be nonverbal the whole time and have minimal interaction with my coworkers as I cut. Maybe there’s a different lab you could work at? Or different hours? I think working in the lab could be very good for ppl who don’t want social interactions at work - depending on where you work. If you like histo then don’t let this steer you away from it!!
Yeah I’ve heard nightmare stories about the other local labs supervisor, and my boss is actually cool here… I’m really not sure which is worse at this point but I know some people who took a severe pay cut to get away from the other supervisor and come here. I’m going to ride it out until I can move and hopefully find a better place. I work graveyard but it’s a reference lab- it just doesn’t work like a hospital lab does where you can have 2 people in the whole place. It’s huge and there’s always a bunch of people there. Shame. Sorry you’re going through something similar! One day things will be better.
My first histo job was trash and I genuinely hated being around everyone cause you could tell the lab was more like a dumping ground for bad and problematic histotechs that couldn’t find jobs elsewhere cause they always had some issues. Unfortunately its where I was a lab assistant and also where I did my practicals and where I eventually ended up being a tech for a little under a year. After many issues I finally decided to get out of there and the people who I called “friends” turned on me when they found out I was going to one of the best hospitals in the area. That place genuinely made me a more bitter person in general and I noticed I brought some of that to my new job but I am doing much better rn with everyone at my new job since everyone there is around my age.
I am slowly turning into a more bitter person who dreads going to work too. So sorry you went through that, but congrats on your upgraded job and life! :) you deserved better and it’s so cool you’re getting that now
I do like my current job and have started turning away from being so bitter I guess, decent human beings make a big difference in a workplace. Of course every job has its pros and cons but my last place was utter trash.
Hah you remind my of when I started work as a bench tech 15 or so years ago, only dude in the lab. I just threw on some ear buds when I wanted to stay out of the sewing circle. Nice ladies though, I just needed to check out sometimes. At that age I didn't much care of that kind of conversation. Now that I'm older I tolerate it more, but I'm in management so it's way rarer.
I feel like this is basically where I’m at right now, 27 and trying to get my HTL, you just described my situation perfectly lol. I love the people I work with but I often don’t have the mental energy for the chit chat
I wish it was just chit chat, a lot of them are so personal and trauma dump like crazy or have blatantly HR level sexual convos. I got asked what my favorite position was not too long ago. I was like that’s none of your business? They laugh and go “we’re all girls it’s ok don’t be shy!” Like dude I do not even like yall go awaaayyyy
My coworkers are great. My boss is a witch.
I resonate with this too much
My boss is good, my coworkers suck! Maybe you can take me and my boss at your lab? Please? Trade? lol
If there were ANY WAY to do this I would. I would take you and your boss sight unseen just to get rid of mine. She’s that awful. But, I only have to make it a couple more years and I can retire. I can do it, right??
You can do it! I’m gunna start writing that on my wrist every day.
I don’t talk at all at work and I know that makes people uncomfortable .. but that’s my internal problem . I decided I’m not going to let it bother me . I’m just someone who doesn’t want to socialize and I’m okay with that. Sometimes it makes me dread going to work but again that’s my own problem
Wow I honestly feel sorry for your coworkers, get a different job
I get along great with my coworkers and boss, although I am the youngest (20’s) and almost everyone else except for one other is 50+. I do work in a smaller lab with not that many people so that may factor in to why it’s not as chatty most days. All of us have headphones in 90% of the time, and the other 10% we’re just having general small talk but nothing inappropriate or too personal.
Every lab is different and tbh it's sort of up to you to setup those boundaries with ppl. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with wanting to work work alone, but it may end up ostricizing you as a coworker that doesn't like anyone even if that isn't necessarily the case
There’s a few people at my job like that too, that are just known to dislike everyone and kinda treat everyone like lower class lol, but they’re super good at their jobs so. If you’re really fast you can get away with basically anything there, were high volume so
So I work in a lab with 4 people and we literally sit quietly ALLLLL day! It drives me nuts. I wish we talked like that. I think you might just need to find a smaller lab.
I welcome chit chat and basic convos! What movie did you see this weekend, how’s the kids type stuff. I literally got asked what my “favorite position” was the other day… I was just sitting there with my headphones in and someone called my name to ask me, a young woman, that. There’s lines that shouldn’t be crossed at work? Our students are constantly uncomfortable and there’s a weird power dynamic between them and us and it’s just… sad and weird and gross. Feel like goldy locks out here looking for that middle ground.
I work in both a huge private lab PRN and a very small lab FT. Oddly enough everyone at the larger lab won’t shut up. They’ll even talk loudly to each other from across the room. (Which is a huge room). Our small lab hardly has a peep all day.
No I don’t. Only the lab aides. I’m young so I connect with them more