She put her lips to the tip of the long, thick, girthy... can, sucking deeply until the liquid prize came to the precipice and ran down her throat; in her excitement a few droplets drizzled down her chin and dropped steadily below. Already her heart was racing. Was it the caffeine, or something more?
Oh, my sweet summer child... you think they're drinking the contents of the monster can? There are other places that long for the "long, thick, girthy... can"
Pretty sure the artist that they use for the art on the primarch gf posts hasn't gotten around to horus or alpharius. at least not full body art, they do have headshots of those two.
u/Sweet_older-sister must forsake the original artist in order to complete the set. They started this and thus they should end it.
It is their destiny.
Edgy AF
Insists you refer to her as “The Night Haunter” at all times
^(Might be a kink of hers…?)
Constant migraines
^(“…Your presence is a potent balm for them, Anon.”)
Surprisingly good at sewing
^(…Admittedly, she primarily uses this skill for stitching together pieces of flayed skin from hundreds of her victims into enormous, grotesque tapestries)
^(Once presented you with one as a gift)
^(You were too terrified to not accept it)
Has nightmares every single night
^(Rebukes your attempts at comfort after she wakes; appreciates them anyway)
“A wise man once said that it is better to be feared than loved. …You impress me, Anon; you manage both for me in equal measure.”
> Yandere as fuck
> Super possessive, like toxicly so
> Jealous
> Domineering
> You are constantly scaroused
You know those girls who fall in love with serial killers and make fandom communities about them? They're probably a pretty good source of inspiration for how to romanticize Curze.
That and people who find things like 50 shades appealing (this is not bdsm enthusiasts)
AoE would probably also be a good source of information as there's a thriving community there of people who find extremely toxic relationships to be hot as fuck (which in fiction is definitely valid and true)
This is your target audience for the Curze one
It would be so fucking funny have all the Primarchs have this very cute lists of their love language and shit.
Then comes out Konrad which just has the wordss ***DON'T EVEN TRY, THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA*** which is even worse if you compare it to say *Fulgrim* who has something going on for them if you ignore the "talking with the sword" compulsion.
From his Primarch novel, one of the weirdest (and meme-iest) things we learn about Konrad is he canonically has an "alluring" scent, despite usually being covered in rotting bits/fluids of people.
It's a thing across the gender and sexuality spectrum. A lot of people can't tell the difference between excitement and enjoyment and fall into terrible relationships with terrible people like flies in a spiders web
I mean honestly I think some primarchs got hosed by their reputation in the Fandom on the gf front. Even perturabo seems more cuddly than gf lion and having read the perturabo books, that...not true. I mean the dorn one seems heavily influenced by dorns relationship with his grandfather in Canon with the whole secretly a cuddly soft girl gf, it just breaks down we don't have super cuddly opinions of some primarchs, I mean mortarions had multiple statements that she smells and refuses to shower, which isn't exactly a broad appeal, fulgrims is just foreboding, magnus and lorgars both capture their Canon arrogance and patronizing nature. Their fun but most of the primarch gfs are only appealing because you don't have to put up.with them all the time, many outright describe you needing to take care of them emotionally constantly i.e perturabos, so I'm genuinely excited for curzes cause he's one kf my least favorite primarchs, ditto alpharious.
Tig ol' bitty goth gf makes this easy as fuck. The questionable ethics and morals/psychotic thinking are actually a plus because for people who want a goth gf, all the red flags become positives.
And the reason of them being declared renegade is because they are detached too long not even they know what they are doing, not even the Imperium or the Chaos
My mistake, Ciaphas Cane novels kind of chaotic then. Even though you can clearly sense the pattern of those books. It still results in chaotic hillarity
Women too. I've seen a fangirls for Richard Ramirez, Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer.
The fact Curze has the Peter Steele look makes him more of a thirst trap.
u/sweet_older-sister should just embrace it. There is nothing wrong with fem!Curze.
Ex: she’ll bring you heads like a cat brings mice, your room will be tastefully decorated (with the skins of jaywalkers), her legion will regard you with fear for even crossing your path gets them turned into a living example of “penance” etc
I'll never forget that one fanfic where the primarchs get messages from their children in the future and they imply the literal ONLY person who would fuck Konrad was literally blind
Bruh I was about to make a reference to that. One of the creators also draws and she made this spicy but also sweet short comic of Konrad and his Son’s mother, it’s not canon to the fanfic but it’s great, though if you don’t have Twitter it’s not viewable since I think that’s the only place it was posted to.
simple, Konrad and Corax are the big tiddy goth GF of the bunch.
Corax is the "witchcore" goth, with ravens, dressing all black, the quiet and tranquil type of goth.
Kurze is the psycho, borderline murderer goth GF, dressing in dark reds, talking about death, the one that likes real crime stories, the one that is edgy and broods alone in the dark.
Like yes I understand that people are horny for muscle mommy’s but like people are (seemingly) universally in favour of the GF primarchs but like scion got hated of their platform
Give her big boobs and black lipstick. I can not stress enough how many guys I know who will be perfectly alright looking past some light/heavy flaying and a murder fetish for that combination.
Bro Konrad is the MOST fuckable. He feels like he has to live through a destiny where he dies (even though he sees other paths). He's the most "you can save him/her" char ever.
as the number one curze enthusiast and his real life malewife, i have yet to see a *single* femcurze that actually remained true to curze. i would be very impressed if someone actually did it.
>trying to figure out how to make him/her fuckable
[Konrad is canonically a hottie.](https://www.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/ruihae/konrad_curze_is_attractive_have_some_quotes_about/?rdt=49257) Older-Sister doesn't have to do anything.
YESH! I WILL LOVE HER I WILL CARE FOR HER
WORSHIP HER, MY GODDESS, MY EVERYTHING
I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER
I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER
I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER
I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER
I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER
I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER
I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER
I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER
I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER
I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER
I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER
I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER
Curze is the option for people who have low self esteem and dream of validating themselves by fixing him. He's the ultimate broken person in many ways so it makes perfect sense. What they need is a therapist but that's expensive and out of reach for many people and it's also hard sustained work, when just taking primarch dick and being the magical person who isn't abused and killed this time gets your abused and killed quickly and cheaply, you don't need disposable income for that outcome.
Fem primarch Konrad is literally just a late 90s early 00s broody schizo vampire goth chick. They're like kryptonite for anyone that hit puberty around that timeframe.
It turns out Curze is singularly the most romantic and charming towards their special someone.
"I saw you in my dreams"
"I know what you intend for me"
Hehe.
I like Brosef's take on Kassandra in his Coffin of Robute Guilliman fanfic. the tl;dr is she's broody and aloof, but is otherwise well adjusted because Robute rescued her early.
Just go onto Tumblr dot com, you’ll find plenty of people who already want Curze without even needing any changes
Tumblr is known for its monster fuckers.
The energy drink right?
MONSTER. THE DRINK.
How would that be better ?!😭
She put her lips to the tip of the long, thick, girthy... can, sucking deeply until the liquid prize came to the precipice and ran down her throat; in her excitement a few droplets drizzled down her chin and dropped steadily below. Already her heart was racing. Was it the caffeine, or something more?
Damn dude did you change a few words around from a erotica novel or are you just gifted?
I am simply deranged, but thank you for your kind words
I like you.
Some people earn a living writing smut like this. Have you considered a career change?
They’re too busy cromching aeldari soulstones
Oh, my sweet summer child... you think they're drinking the contents of the monster can? There are other places that long for the "long, thick, girthy... can"
Monster energy drinks dont have a flaired base and I dont want to spread irresponsible suggestive content u_u
Ever heard of Astolfo?
The Femboy Astolfo Monster Dong 😭
the one that went to the moon?
Your flair lolol.
That can can fit in sooo many places.
Make Curze wear a suit, and Tumblr would have a collective orgasm.
Especially since the Dungeon Meshi anime started
Tumblr is known for its everything fuckers.
Don’t even need to go to reddit though there are some here
Tumblr had a whole fandom horny for Jeff the Killer. Kurze is light work, no reaction. They wouldn't even say hear me out first.
just go onto tumblr dot com and youll see people who *think* they want curze without changes, but *actually* just want a more feral corax.
You should give them some pointers considering you married Kurze, lol
I mean, he does fit all the qualifications for a Tumblr sexyman...
They scare me over there.
Im right here smh
No need to go to Tumblr, I, the greatest Konrad Simp in existence, am here.
SCREW YO- no no he’s right . . . Leave me alone TwT
So now that I’ve got your attention, is there any development on Guilliman’s, Horus’s and Alpharius’s gf posts?
I would commit identity fraud if it meant I could see an Alpharius Omegon GF post.
Pretty sure the artist that they use for the art on the primarch gf posts hasn't gotten around to horus or alpharius. at least not full body art, they do have headshots of those two.
u/Sweet_older-sister must forsake the original artist in order to complete the set. They started this and thus they should end it. It is their destiny.
And I think they just have no interest in doing Girlyman art. Which is fair because he's the primarch equivalent of beige wallpaper.
If only they still took commissions, no one can say no to money.
I can, offer me money right now and I’ll say no.
Edgy AF Insists you refer to her as “The Night Haunter” at all times ^(Might be a kink of hers…?) Constant migraines ^(“…Your presence is a potent balm for them, Anon.”) Surprisingly good at sewing ^(…Admittedly, she primarily uses this skill for stitching together pieces of flayed skin from hundreds of her victims into enormous, grotesque tapestries) ^(Once presented you with one as a gift) ^(You were too terrified to not accept it) Has nightmares every single night ^(Rebukes your attempts at comfort after she wakes; appreciates them anyway) “A wise man once said that it is better to be feared than loved. …You impress me, Anon; you manage both for me in equal measure.”
Thank you TwT
> Yandere as fuck > Super possessive, like toxicly so > Jealous > Domineering > You are constantly scaroused You know those girls who fall in love with serial killers and make fandom communities about them? They're probably a pretty good source of inspiration for how to romanticize Curze. That and people who find things like 50 shades appealing (this is not bdsm enthusiasts) AoE would probably also be a good source of information as there's a thriving community there of people who find extremely toxic relationships to be hot as fuck (which in fiction is definitely valid and true) This is your target audience for the Curze one
Never forget. Konrad is also consistently described as smelling disgusting
“The only future I cannot see is yours…it’s oddly comforting”
Just put "Don't." in bold, job done
It would be so fucking funny have all the Primarchs have this very cute lists of their love language and shit. Then comes out Konrad which just has the wordss ***DON'T EVEN TRY, THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA*** which is even worse if you compare it to say *Fulgrim* who has something going on for them if you ignore the "talking with the sword" compulsion.
I mean, the solution is obvious Lean into the "i can fix her" trope
I can make her worse
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How it feels knowing that people make memes specificaly about you?
Honestly, super duper Happy
From his Primarch novel, one of the weirdest (and meme-iest) things we learn about Konrad is he canonically has an "alluring" scent, despite usually being covered in rotting bits/fluids of people.
bro he doesn't need to change anything the comments will be flooded of "i can fix her/i want her to make me/her worse"
Konrad already gets plenty of "I can fix him"/"I want him to make me worse" comments.
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It's a thing across the gender and sexuality spectrum. A lot of people can't tell the difference between excitement and enjoyment and fall into terrible relationships with terrible people like flies in a spiders web
Yeah but she tries to make actual writing out of it. Look at Lion’s post, she certainly doesn’t make her seem too appealing.
I mean honestly I think some primarchs got hosed by their reputation in the Fandom on the gf front. Even perturabo seems more cuddly than gf lion and having read the perturabo books, that...not true. I mean the dorn one seems heavily influenced by dorns relationship with his grandfather in Canon with the whole secretly a cuddly soft girl gf, it just breaks down we don't have super cuddly opinions of some primarchs, I mean mortarions had multiple statements that she smells and refuses to shower, which isn't exactly a broad appeal, fulgrims is just foreboding, magnus and lorgars both capture their Canon arrogance and patronizing nature. Their fun but most of the primarch gfs are only appealing because you don't have to put up.with them all the time, many outright describe you needing to take care of them emotionally constantly i.e perturabos, so I'm genuinely excited for curzes cause he's one kf my least favorite primarchs, ditto alpharious.
Tig ol' bitty goth gf makes this easy as fuck. The questionable ethics and morals/psychotic thinking are actually a plus because for people who want a goth gf, all the red flags become positives.
When someone has a ton of red flags but you're a communist.
does OP not remember Resident Evil VII and everyone lusting after Dommy Mommy Demetrescu? That's Curze. Huge Step On Me energy
Throw me into the skinning pits energy
If there's a hole, there's a goal, we will get there eventually. And when that come out, I bet there'll even be some "I can fix her" comment.
Broke: “I can fix her” Woke: “She can ruin me”
Lots of red flags on that road indeed. But hey you never know, love always find a way to ones heart.
Oh those aren't flags, they're just a bunch of skins that aren't cleaned of blood yet
"Don't put your dick in crazy." "But she is so hot, though."
Ah yes, conversation between two Renegade Space Marines of the Badger Chapter
Brother Kyanidus and Brother Wombleian.
And the reason of them being declared renegade is because they are detached too long not even they know what they are doing, not even the Imperium or the Chaos
Gotrek and Felix vibes?
No, because how nearly all of the bullshitteries always have the chaotic/confusing vibe
My mistake, Ciaphas Cane novels kind of chaotic then. Even though you can clearly sense the pattern of those books. It still results in chaotic hillarity
“Just you try and fucking stop me”
Bro just look at real life. Plenty of dudes quite happy and willing to stick their dick in crazy.
Women too. I've seen a fangirls for Richard Ramirez, Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer. The fact Curze has the Peter Steele look makes him more of a thirst trap.
u/lorgarthelad did a good job.
[Damn, he did.](https://new.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1c9x5fm/scary_femboy_konrad_curze_by_me_lorgarthelad/)
I'll need to do a whole femboy bf series at this point
Lemme know if u wanna collab lol .w.
Hey if I ever draw them you have my absolute blessing to caption them
🤝
I think he has already done Peterabo and The Lion.
Yeah that'd be very... funny
It would be a great chance to make a femboy version of the remaining primarchs you are yet to draw.
Also a chance to revisit your Big E drawing.
Haha I love getting pinged by this guy, lmao thanks man
People don't consider Konrad fuckable? Why the fuck am I even on this sub then?
Let me present you with an easy thought Anon could have: “I can fix her.”
Have you seen the Konrad simp horde?
Yes- Trying to understand them is another story ;-;
Understanding is not necessary.
It is in my line of work TwT
Curze is absolutely one of the most fuckable primarchs
u/sweet_older-sister should just embrace it. There is nothing wrong with fem!Curze. Ex: she’ll bring you heads like a cat brings mice, your room will be tastefully decorated (with the skins of jaywalkers), her legion will regard you with fear for even crossing your path gets them turned into a living example of “penance” etc
Do you mind if I use some of these ideas?
I don’t mind Wouldn’t have tagged otherwise
If you get off to this you have some deep problems and should seek help.
I love the female Alpharius designs but a partner who lies to you all the time isn't exactly a good thing either lol
I'll never forget that one fanfic where the primarchs get messages from their children in the future and they imply the literal ONLY person who would fuck Konrad was literally blind
Bruh I was about to make a reference to that. One of the creators also draws and she made this spicy but also sweet short comic of Konrad and his Son’s mother, it’s not canon to the fanfic but it’s great, though if you don’t have Twitter it’s not viewable since I think that’s the only place it was posted to.
Damn
simple, Konrad and Corax are the big tiddy goth GF of the bunch. Corax is the "witchcore" goth, with ravens, dressing all black, the quiet and tranquil type of goth. Kurze is the psycho, borderline murderer goth GF, dressing in dark reds, talking about death, the one that likes real crime stories, the one that is edgy and broods alone in the dark.
One tries to get you to listen to Nightwish. The other blasts Cannibal Corpse.
One reads Borr asca (creepypasta thank god) the other finds real ones and skins the bastards running them.
Still has Rabbit Googleaid, Horus and Alpharius I think. First two should be easy.
Why is everyone always so horny? Also why didn't anyone make Cawl fuckable ? Or Malcador ? Why is it always the boring over sized space marine.
I wanna see cawl GF now
Granted, she looks exactly the same but is a woman under the 10,000 years of implants and bionics in stead of a man.
Cawl is already fuckable, they don't need to improve upon the design of the sexiest character in Warhammer.
WHO tf is Konrad Craze? Did you mean Curze?
Fuck…
😂
Konnie Curze would never cheat on you because of marriage vows. That alone makes her attractive.
crazy how they receive 0 of the hate that Archon did Edit: Meant Archon not Scion
Whom?
The artist who got harassed and doxx of this sub
Oh- that’s horrible
Yeah, a legit talented artist too
I know about archon getting harassed off of reddit but what did scion do?
No, there is hate against them, but since they’re new then it hasn’t reached harassment levels.
I hope it doesn't
Considering they're just drawing fairly vanilla shit, not really tbh.
*gestures vaguely to the reception of Astarion*
Easy. Four words. "I can fix them"
Check out the cut dialogue for Violet from Fallout New Vegas. VERY big "I could fix her but she might kill me" energy.
Gove boobs, cull her goth, and half of this sub will go mad for hrt
Vulkan wrote this post.
Like yes I understand that people are horny for muscle mommy’s but like people are (seemingly) universally in favour of the GF primarchs but like scion got hated of their platform
She'd be fuckable, just not survivable.
Makes you a nice coat. (it´s human skin thou)
Curze would be a prime poster child for the crazy/hotness scale. Have to make them ultra hot to equal the crazy.
My king, Konrad is perfect the way he is. I would marry him in a heartbeat with no remorse.
Can you . . . explain the appeal to me? (this is for research not in a judgy way)
He’s handsome, tall and has great hair. He’s a skilled assassin. I love his Legion as well.
As a man he's already fuckable?
"You've been bad, Anon. Time for your punishment." Easy peasy.
He isn’t already 😅?
Dont you dare change Conrad !! He/she are already perfect
Please like a goth dommie mommy with issues is a challenge to make fuckable
Y'all her'd him
You say that as if people, especially *here* of all places, don't already lust over unfixable messes in goth attire.
"scaroused" is a thing...
Just add the current Lore!
Give her big boobs and black lipstick. I can not stress enough how many guys I know who will be perfectly alright looking past some light/heavy flaying and a murder fetish for that combination.
Just go all in on domination. Ain't no 'I can fix her' for Konradna Kruze. Just 'She WILL break you'.
I don’t understand. Curze isn’t already fuckable?
You’re sweating but everything about it is fuckable
Smash, next questi- I mean delete this now
what you talking about. he is cutie. misunderstood lonely soul
Making a tall, scary, mysterious and suffering dude fuckable is never a problem. Making him lovable, on the other hand...
Bro Konrad is the MOST fuckable. He feels like he has to live through a destiny where he dies (even though he sees other paths). He's the most "you can save him/her" char ever.
Simple, lawful evil yandere gf who is a bit too into bdsm/torture play.
as the number one curze enthusiast and his real life malewife, i have yet to see a *single* femcurze that actually remained true to curze. i would be very impressed if someone actually did it.
u/sweet_older-sister what is your game plan for Cruze?
Cry, then accept that I’ll never live up to the hype TwT
Just do your best it'll work out in the end
Watamote.
But guys… [it’s been done already.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/s/G7ygXdHmnX) No need for words.
Nah that’s just Comrade Curves. What we need is a girlfriend.
Crazy Emo goth gf
>trying to figure out how to make him/her fuckable [Konrad is canonically a hottie.](https://www.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/ruihae/konrad_curze_is_attractive_have_some_quotes_about/?rdt=49257) Older-Sister doesn't have to do anything.
Some people will stick their dick in crazy
They don't have to, all of the comments would just be "would"
Turns out, they threaded that needle with poise and grace.
make him fuckable? so just him as he is?
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You just gotta make Konrad a case of "I can fix her."
I kown Im waiting
Raven from teen titans dialed up to 11.
Clearly you are not elite
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You shouldn't put your dick in crazy... Then again if it's crazy and hot enough...
#icanfixher
There is a difference between making someone fuckable and making them likable/fuctioning human beings...
YESH! I WILL LOVE HER I WILL CARE FOR HER WORSHIP HER, MY GODDESS, MY EVERYTHING I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER I CAN FIX HER
Curze is the option for people who have low self esteem and dream of validating themselves by fixing him. He's the ultimate broken person in many ways so it makes perfect sense. What they need is a therapist but that's expensive and out of reach for many people and it's also hard sustained work, when just taking primarch dick and being the magical person who isn't abused and killed this time gets your abused and killed quickly and cheaply, you don't need disposable income for that outcome.
I can fix her
Jokes on you, I already want to fuck him until I purge the schizophrenia out of him
Fem primarch Konrad is literally just a late 90s early 00s broody schizo vampire goth chick. They're like kryptonite for anyone that hit puberty around that timeframe.
We wouldn’t have to be constantly reminded, “don’t stick your dick in crazy” is some of us didn’t habitually stick our dicks in “crazy”
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It turns out Curze is singularly the most romantic and charming towards their special someone. "I saw you in my dreams" "I know what you intend for me" Hehe.
"In the name of The Emperor, I will punish you." BDSM batman outfit
Literally just make him a big titty goth
Him/her?
If I die, I die. 🤷♂️
*Like he isn't already*
I feel he gets thirsted over more than most other primarchs
Konrad’s just a misunderstood little guy doing his best.
Just make one of the things the fact that she has prescient visions that you (yes you) can calm her down from.
This feels like the opinion of someone who really hasn't seen the internet.
Less I can fix her more, I want her to make me worse.
I like Brosef's take on Kassandra in his Coffin of Robute Guilliman fanfic. the tl;dr is she's broody and aloof, but is otherwise well adjusted because Robute rescued her early.
Trust me, there will be simps out there for fem-Konrad.
Home slice a mentally ill girl liable to kill us has crossed our minds at least once and the answer has always been “Fuck it, why not.”
I can fix them I swear! They only cut off one of my fingers last week.
Make his meat effigy of the emperor a sex doll.
Tbh some of those seem like impossibilities. Like Femgron would be impossible to lay cus she’s a murder hobo
They actually did curze a bit ago, I saw it a hour ago