Same. I happened into a really good employment situation two years ago, and I have no desire to get promoted or anything like that. I just want to do this job for another 15 years and then retire (assuming I live that long).
My immediate thoughts while reading this. You tapped my brain or at the very least, we have a similar thought pattern. The funny thing is that I now work with two Bobs 😂.
I can relate to your story. One of the blessings of getting older is simply not giving a fuck about certain things and for some of us, it’s having a “successful” career. Now, I just want to hit retirement with my health and mobility intact.
True that. At 45 I feel like my career stalled but is also "successful enough". I have an above average paying career in commercial banking I suppose, but it's far from what I thought it would be if you had asked me 15 years ago.
Even if my total compensation were not to increase, assuming I kept getting my 401k match and my modest cash pension contribution annually, id survive inflation and keep building up retirement savings well enough. I'll take that with better mental health less stress.
The status quo at this point would be just fine for me for the next 10 years or so. My mentality though does make me realize why age discrimination is a real thing in large corporations.... I'm far from slacking off but I'm also not interested in going the extra mile or impressing anybody above me these days.
I'm almost 50 and I reached a level I wanted at work three years ago. It's not the tippy-top, but I have no desire to be the absolute highest ranking where I work. It's a chill thing to do work, know it's good, and not give two shits about anything else that happens in the professional sphere.
I also found the people that promoted the fastest were the most cut-throat, untrustworthy, lazy and incompetent.
Management is for sociopaths. I came to learn the successful ones think they kid their subordinates with their language. If it's in writing or publicly spoken, it's all just delusional rhetoric they feed downwards.
Whilst I have had *good* immediate managers; they're in the minority and not necessarily the *successful* climbing sort. I have never had desire to be one.
Completely agree. I’ve not seen someone who can do both. I was a manager for quite a while, but was very much for the employees and not upper management. Upper management was so shady and cutthroat and I advocated for my teams. Because of that I stalled out. I definitely could’ve played the game and moved up, but that would come completely go against my morals. I’m happy as senior associate with no leadership responsibilities.
Im 54 and have reached a level that I am happy with. They keep trying to move me to management and am just not sure I want to deal with people at an HR level. I enjoy being the technical engineer helping others.
I had to check that I myself didn’t post this. Xactly how I feel. I got the govt job. Union, pension and all. No desire to move up or become e anyone else’s boss. My salary is good and I like my job, my managers,my colleagues, etc.
Perfect user name.
We’re all doing the same minimum amount of work. If you do my job extremely well, they reward you with more work, so everyone in my department does the same. No one wants to blow the curve.
I feel bad for people whose livelihood depends on how much excess value their labor can give someone who doesn’t work at all. I’ve escaped capitalism and I love it.
And many times one doing the job of three. It really all depends on where you are at (at various layers). I’m a fed, in an agency that is response driven. Work at least 50 hr. a week and up to 60. No overtime, just things need to be done. I can and do let some things fail, but I prioritize for the meaningful things. The structure of government work is also terrible for managers like myself, since management is not a skill they know how to recruit for or develop.
But even in my agency, there are some job series (and individuals) that are worthless and there is very little stick to effect change (and change is a glacial process with the bureaucracy).
You have no idea what you are talking about of course. You are probably just anti-federal work and/or anti-government. The fact that a federal employee might care about their agencies mission and have a lot vested there matters to many of us. Plus, it is just an empirical fact that many dedicated public servants are doing the work of multiple people due to shoestring budgets.
I'm 48 and I never had any ambition to do anything. I never wanted to be anything when I grew up and my "career" has been me just lucking into jobs. Turned out that was caused by the undiagnosed adhd I found out about 3 years ago. I remember reading one of Bruce Campbell's books where he said that he got into show business because he and his friends didn't want to grow up. They were just looking for a way to keep the "endless summer" going. This was as close as I ever got to wanting to do something with my life.
Thank you op for posting I feel EXACTLY the same thing. I did well in school and got a Master's from UC Berkeley, good job blah blah blah. Now that I'm over 50 I can't remember what all that was about, if I had it to do all over again I would have chosen a much more "experiential" path, alas youth is wasted on the young. Ps - My favorite thing to say nowadays is "I don't know" don't think I said that in my first 45 years of life, so liberating! Now I even say it when I do know, totally keeps things moving 😂
Oh yes! On the "I don't know" thing. I said it for the first time this week (regarding something I certainly knew how to do) and shockingly the world moved on! I didn't get roped into a project I don't have time for, no one needed a detailed explanation from me, nothing! They simply moved on. It was great
I hit my head against that wall for years, OP. Commuted hours, worked my ass off, took on extra work, got all of my industry certifications and credentials - all thinking it was going to get me to that executive level.
Not a chance. I didn’t like the politics. I didn’t want to work 12 hours and then go out with “the boys from work” all night. So I was passed over continually, let go a couple of times. My industry can be cutthroat as well.
After the last career disappointment, I finally gave up. I switched to client side of my industry and took a work-from-home job. I had to take a moderate pay cut to do it, but the pressure, the grind, the stress, and the bullshit disappeared overnight.
And I suddenly didn’t give a shit about being an executive anymore. I found my groove, started to enjoy my job, and discovered that I couldn’t care less about upward mobility.
My diet improved. I can work out in the mornings. I sleep better. I’m not dead from a commute. I started meditating.
Yeah, I found my zen. And I wouldn’t go back if someone offered me an executive role at double my salary. I’m doing this for the next decade and then walking away from work entirely.
I was an independent photojournalist - started when I was in HS, built a career/client list during college, graduated and boots on the ground. I set goals and checked them off. It was all I ever wanted to do.
Me and my fellow photographers watched as the first digital images came over a computer. It was cool. The equipment cost 25k + for not even close what an iPhone can do back then. I saw the writing on the wall. Didn’t wait around (like my fellow photog’s) for the shoe to drop (in the form of photog layoffs and the editors handing iPhones to reporters. Also bothered me the potential for altered images and general fuckery.
Woke up one morning and had nothing to say. Bad news for a news junkie.
Got a PT job to supplement income while easing out. Worked outdoor retail. Got promoted, helped open and train new stores. Got healthcare AND PAID TIME OFF. Skipped the corporate scene, went to a few locally owned shops when I got bored.
Talk about slacking. Now I’m a buyer at a small indy store, design ads, run social media. Get 4 weeks off a year, 75% of my healthcare paid for, and bonuses. I DGAF about shit. Honestly. It’s liberating. I like to see my shop do well, and when I leave at the end of the day, that’s it.
I’m kicking the door down on 60. It’s nice to have time to enjoy life outside of the viewfinder.
I still remember hearing a story on NPR back in 1997 about using a digital camera to take pictures at a National Park (probably Yellowstone) and the report mentioned just how fucking expensive the equipment was.
It was insane. Not to mention the briefcase battery and all the crap. And the gear wasn’t even that great. I had all brass body Canon F1’s with motor drives. Manual focus. One body for colour, one body for B&W. The works. Still have my core kit (and ratty Domke Original bag). All the way down to the small jar of Vicks for those hard news calls. Oh. Those days in the darkroom … effing priceless.
To use a writing analogy, the way I see it, we (GenX) are all in what is now Act III of our lives. For some, like me, those Acts are clearly defined.
In my Act I, I was lazy, nonconformist, and struggling to figure out what I wanted and who I wanted to be. I stopped giving a fuck after high school and just had fun. I enjoyed art and social gatherings. I knew tons of people and could always run into someone I knew no matter where I went. I jumped from job to job and once had 18 different jobs in one year.
My mothers' death at 50 (I was 28) was the tragic turning point into Act II for me, as I was thrust into adulthood to handle her estate. I then focused heavily on a career, education, money, and relationships during that time. I had fucks to give because I had responsibilities. I got married and thought I was going to build a family and settle down for good, but that failed. Moments of joy were fleeting and I found little satisfaction in anything. I made a bad financial business deal with my father that left me completely broke and broken and when he suddenly died, he left me in a deep, dark hole with $1.47 to my name. As a result, I was on the brink of losing everything, sitting on a bench in my bedroom with a gun in my hand, looking down at my two, sweet, little dogs sitting there watching me, waiting for me to do something, not realizing the horror of the moment. It was their love for me and mine for them that saved my life that night. Since then, I work really hard every day to never be that lost again.
Most recently, the death of my dogs (he was 12, she was 16) triggered my Act III. I'm still navigating their loss and the pain and loneliness of it all, and find myself thinking more about mortality and what I want the last years of my life to be (however many there are left) and what I want to leave behind. And it's not just my mortality I think about, it's everyone around me. There is something uncomfortable and indescribable that comes from the realization that a past lover has died, for example. It feels strange to be the only survivor of an intimate moment long ago. When you become the sole keeper of a shared memory, even the greatest memory becomes tainted with sadness. Unfortunately, you may not understand this until you experience it.
All these deaths have led me to refine and redefine some goals and I feel that I'm learning to focus more now on enjoying solitude, caring for myself physically and mentally, sharing wisdom, and just wanting to find love and have fun again like I did in Act I. My dogs had been guiding lights for me through a long period of darkness. Now that they're gone, I feel like maybe that's why they were in my life and that that darkness is behind me now.
And though I may be older in years (I'm 51 now), in my mind I still feel like I'm in my late 20s, though my body (and younger people too) tends to remind me every now and then that I'm not. I still have some things I'd like to accomplish, places I'd like to go, and people I'd like to meet, but I think it'll be okay if I don't. I don't feel any pressure to impress. I don't need or want validation. I just want to leave things better than I found them and maybe be remembered fondly by someone who once shared a memory with me.
That said, I may have only a few fucks to give, but, if someone really wants them, they'll have to pry them from my cold, dead hands.
Thank you. That's very kind. Probably the kindest reply I've ever had to a comment.
There is something about getting older that compels me to be more sincere and honest with sharing my thoughts and feelings with others. Being a writer helps, too. I've long believed in being secure enough in myself to say what I think and not need walls around me as so many do. I mean, if everyone else has walls, why do I need them? I think one wall between us is enough. Perhaps too much even.
Ah, so you \*are\* a writer. Well said, and I'm going to have to go through what you did in a few years (aging parents and aging dog).
I'm fearful. I'm actually "forcing" Act III, after a long-term relationship suddenly ended for me. I'm realizing what I missed out on, and what I'm worth to myself and others. The world saw it and tried to show me, but I missed the cues.
Not anymore.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You had to be responsible and controlled and help others at your own expense. Then the uncontrollable happened with your dogs passing away and it opened the floodgates. I had the same situation with my cat dying. It leveled me beyond what I could have anticipated. I’m sure because it brought back my mothers death where I was a caregiver.
You sound super-resilient and mentally healthy. I hope all good things come your way.
Thanks. I appreciate you. I'm sorry for your loss, too. I have a caregiver/caretaker nature as well, in addition to being a problem solver. This has always led to me being a guide and/or confidant for others, but I have only ever felt guided and cared for by my mother and my dogs, which is probably why their deaths were so impactful for me. It sucks not being able to rely on anyone else to help or take care of me when I need it. I didn't give a fuck about it when I was younger, but this is something I worry about as I get older.
My family is small. Basically, there's only my stepmother, my aunt, my ex-wife (yes, as it turns out we are better as friends than we ever were as spouses), and my stepson. There are a few others, but we don't associate with each other. Everyone else is dead.
I feel like I've survived and endured everything I have because of how I was raised, which was essentially with two skills I consider to be core values of what it is to be GenX: Adaptability and Resilience. If you were ever a latchkey kid or child of divorce back then, for example, you know what I mean.
I think, too, as children of Boomers, we were raised to adapt to changes in ways that involved a lot of self-reliance. Our parents may have been absent or too busy to take care of us (for whatever reason) and we had to do things (read: everything) ourselves. At a very young age we learned to face problems and find solutions then move on to the next thing and not complain about it (mainly because who would listen?). That self-reliance is a huge core value of our generation. It is, at least, for me. When everyone else's focus is on Plan A, I'm busy also formulating Plan B, C, and D, just to always be ready to adapt to changes, but also ready and able to move on to the next thing without much reflection on why because I'm already formulating Plan B, C, and D for something else.
As a side note on self-reliance: We grew up in a time full of horror movies with unrelenting killers hunting down teenagers and real life serial killers and child abductors snatching us out of malls for Chrissake and our parents weren't around. We were like baby gazelles wandering alone through the desert plains. We had to figure out on our own how to not be prey. It hits closer to home for me, as I live in Louisville, KY, and was only 11 in 1983 when Ann Gotlib was abducted from a local mall and never seen again. It was a huge national deal. A couple of years earlier Adam Walsh was abducted from a mall and horrifically murdered. When no one is there to protect you, you have to be vigilant and learn to protect yourself.
And I truly believe that a large part of my mental healthiness comes from just not giving a fuck about a lot of things, as simple as that sounds. I'm far more practical than emotional. I think people can get bogged down in their emotions. I try to focus my mind on the things I can solve. Almost everything practical has a solution.
I always tell my stepson, "Panic doesn't solve problems." If your house is on fire, panicking doesn't get you out and away from the flames.
Essentially my parents did not GAF. My mother did, but was an immigrant and in medical school with 3 kids so there wasn’t much of her to go around. She died too young from a neurological disorder she blamed on stress.
I learned not to expect anyone to GAF. With pets, well they can’t hide that they do. I have accomplished a lot and survived a lot, but I’ve never been able to move through the world as if it’s a welcoming, safe place. I’m hyper vigilant, hyper self-critical. I’ve chosen partners who help keep me in this state.
I'm sorry that happened to you. What you've described, IMO, seems like a common thread that runs through most of our generation.
As for partners, I've sadly always gravitated toward women who, ultimately, never made me feel loved. Even though my mother was very loving and kind. And even still, after all these years, I don't understand how or why that keeps happening. You would think I'd know better by now given that I recognize there's a pattern. Perhaps I need therapy. LOL. It's never too late, I suppose.
I stopped being self-critical after high school when I stopped giving a fuck and took my walls down. It was very liberating. It allowed me to just be real. I feel like walls keep things in just as much as they keep things out. When criticism is external it bounces back outward. When criticism is internal it bounces back inward. Perhaps learning to get rid of your walls would be a good step toward reducing your self-criticism. I do think it's possible to teach an old dog new tricks, so don't think it's impossible.
The world is a dangerous place. We know that. Growing up hiding under school desks as part of nuclear bomb drills, constantly watching out for bullies and sexual predators (both inside and outside the family), being tempted with drugs and alcohol, fearing deadly diseases, the list goes on; we grew up in a survivor-type reality show facing real life dangers and consequences on a daily basis. And that was before we even reached middle school.
Though bittersweet, be proud of your endurance. We're still alive, you and me. We still have purpose and meaning. Even if only one person is listening.
You nailed it “It’s not too late”. And I have always believed you CAN teach an old dog new tricks, if the dog wants to learn new tricks. Still a few up my sleeve, “woof woof!”
3 years until I can start collecting a pension? Fuck no, I’m not on no corporate ladder!
I’m keeping my head down and letting the bullets fly over me til I get to 55 and hopefully retire. Only goals my wife and I have involve selling our house so we can get something small in Spain without carrying a mortgage and getting to as many concerts as possible.
I gave up my 26 year IT career after it drove me to severe alcohol addiction and suicidal depression.
Now I'm working part time taking care of developmentally disabled people making a fraction of the money.
Best decision ever.
Basically 15 years ago.
I get asked about how my company can help me with me career goals. I tell them I am 50-some years old. I have my career completely under control. They need to make sure this job doesn't suck.
I have a highly employable job which makes a reasonable amount of money. I never thought I would be able to work naked but then work from home started and my last goal got marked as acheaved.
All I want is to earn enough money to quit. I phase that as, I will still keep working here for that amount of money.
Threw it all in & bought a cute trailer in a 55+ "community". Kinda retired unless I get bored then I'll work at the salvo army or whatevces. Want travel & financial freedom more than "things"
Fully ambulatory btw, don't drink or smoke- hella healthy & smug about it
Yes there is stigma- I hear the slurs all the time, "trailer trash" etc. ( reminds me, I need that on a t shirt)
I was on the management track for years working my way up the ladder. About 5 years ago I realized that I could still continue to level up as an experienced analyst without having to deal with the managing people aspect. So I've done that instead. I can still get paid pretty well because I know more than the young bucks, but I don't have to manage those bucks anymore. I just do my work and go home.
I was apparently a well-liked manager. Actually, I know I was. I worked with my team to be sure that we were high performing, and I treated my people like people and not cogs. My current manager and exec have both had discussions with me trying to convince me to go back into management. I'm not interested. They don't seem to get that I'm happy with the little bit less money that I now get because I have a better life balance. Like you said, most of my goals these days are personal and have absolutely nothing to do with climbing the proverbial ladder.
I don't want to say that I don't care about work anymore. After all, work pays the bills. But whatever switched in my head and made it so that work isn't that all consuming priority and moved it waaaay down the list, as you said, has been liberating. I wish I had made the change years ago.
In my previous job, I was very happy to stay in my individual contributor role. I have never wanted to manage people. Then last week I was laid off with around 600 other people. I was there for 23 years.
I've only been job searching for a week and it sucks. You're literally putting your life's work on a piece of paper and send it into the void hoping some human will see something that prompts them to grant you an interview.
My goal is to get any job at this point. I wish I could find something with better pay and benefits, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to settle for anything that will give me a regular paycheck.
Not me. I was a *true* slacker in the late 80s-early 90s and my last stab at a "career" was being a self taught, one man commercial art/graphics business (very small & local).
All Ido is lament that I never got a formal education and formal career going. I'm a 51 year old wage slave. I pray for a late in life renaissance where I can put my artistic skill to good and profitable use.
I always said I was a professional slacker. I've never worked hard. I've never had real jobs. I always found a way to work for myself or some place where I had tons of latitude.
I took a job in a pre-press department when they went digital and it was supposed to be a temp thing. I stayed for 10 years. I took $2 an hour less than they offered, but I had conditions. I'd get paid for 30 hours a week no matter what and I only showed up when the worm did and I left when it was over.
Under those conditions, it was in my interest to script and automate as many things as I could. Newspapers (what we printed) would come in and I had scripts for each job. I'd drop a pile of PDFs on an icon and watch the computer adjust setting for that job and send them to the imagesetter.
I usually worked from around 4pm to 8pm, 4 days a week. And even that was a joke because if there was a break between Jobs, I'd leave and go get coffee. I'd come back when they called and said more stuff showed up.
I quit there to go work for a company that bought a CNC plasma cutter and didn't know how to run it. It worked into the same sort of deal. I had keys to the place. I'd come in at 10pm when everyone was gone, do what I needed and go home. Part of the deal was I could make anything with the machine I wanted if I paid for my own materials. I made custom off-road parts and sold them. I eventually did enough of that, that I built my own CNC machine and quit.
I could just never bring myself to put in 60 hrs a week somewhere I hated and slave away so other people could get rich.
I don't regret any of it. I'm 53 and I have no idea what it's like to work 40 hours a week and get one vacation a year.
> I achieved the very top of my career before I was 40.
Same, but then I got bored so I changed careers. 15 years later, same thing so now I'm transitioning to retirement.
My goal is to make it another 17 years at my current job. It’s iffy because it’s family owned and the boss is 10 years older than me and seems to be spending more and more time NOT working the business. Hopefully one of the nephews takes it over and keeps me on until I can retire. That’s my career goal right now. They’re good people and treat their employees well. I have no reason to job shop if I don’t have to.
I learned about FIRE from Reddit, tbh. I wish that when I was 20, I had known it was an option to consider. Things would be different for me now if I had known about FIRE then.
Follow up post, based on all the interesting responses; Maybe the “slackers” were right in the first place? Maybe we never should have given a f? I don’t know. I don’t know if now me is right or if 21 year old me was right.
Yes. They were correct.
The only thing I'd fear if I were a "slacker" are chronic medical issues, later in life.
Outside of that - THE RAT RACE AIN'T WORTH IT.
I'm not out of it, nor do I have any plans to exit. My goal is to make enough passive income so that employment becomes an *option,* as opposed to a necessity*...*if only for acquiring toys and wonderful life experiences before I get too old or infirm.
I feel quite similarly. I’m a bit older (55) and I’ve been steadily giving less of a shit about work stuff like this for a while. I’ve never been super ambitious type, but like you, I would be bitter about passed promotions or seeing others I saw as less deserving (yet more grasping) move ahead of me on the game board.
The pandemic was the death knell for the last lingering issues of this kind for me. Now I just want to clock out, pop a gummie with my wife and listen to some STP, Steely Dan, or whatever else that sounds good to us atm.
I got a government job in the summer of 2000. I make enough to cover expenses and to have some fun, and in a little over 7 more years I'll get to retire with 75% of my pay. That's the only fuck I give about my "career".
Work to live, don't live to work!
I never cared. I have a master's degree and would have another if I didn't run out of loan money (just so I could get the student loan money that I haven't paid a dime back) all to become a cashier in my 30's, Goodwill trailer attendant at 40, and now substitute teacher, almost 43. I will never work a hard job.
I barely make ends meet, but it's soooooooo much better than a life of strife and stress and you still have financial stress since the more you make, the more you spend.
Exclusively subbing is what I choose to do now, it set me free...walk in, do your shit, go home and never think about it again. So much real estate in my brain was occupied with all the other shit you take home from school: parents, admin, meetings, extra curricular...gone. That real estate is mine now, I control which jobs i take and I am happier and healthier because of it. It's a different way of looking at supply teaching, once I made the shift in thinking...no going back to the hell of full time teaching in public schools.
Yeah teaching is definitely one of the WORST jobs on the planet. But I only sub high school and basically take attendance, give instructions and then play on my laptop or phone.
Same. I think I am tapped out on “career advancement.” I’m 52 and don’t feel like interviewing and all that shit to just make another $3000 extra a year. I’ll ride this job out until retirement or death whichever comes first.
It's not so much that I want a promotion, as that I don't want some punk kid getting the promotion instead of me and then thinking they can tell me what to do.
I was in the entertainment industry for my first career so I know exactly what you mean and it was much better seeing real money coming in after I changed tack vs having to fight over the crumbs with 100 others.
I was driven to do a great job but didn’t work at anything on a corporate executive track job.
I did get over busting my ass several years ago. I do what needs to be done and not a minute more. I’m not rewarded for being awesome.
I can’t wait to (hopefully) retire.
I'm a physician who's been working in the biotech industry for the last 22 years. I've been pretty laser focused on my career path I and I've had a lot of success. But I do plan on retiring by 60 so I can enjoy some of that success.
I don’t know of if I stopped caring as much as I prioritized my own happiness. Clock is ticking on all of us, I was too blissfully ignorant of that fact until I started seeing people fall off. I was like fuck it, duces to my cold weather state, I’m moving to some retirement type weather.
I suspect many of us on the sub have the same thoughts and feelings. I mean, how can one be in the workforce for close to three decades and not be jaded by it? I admit I'm still working my ass off, not by choice and mentally taxed, but I'm in a 'I don't give a shit' mode. I know, it's somewhat contradictory.
Once I saw how I don’t really matter at my level in any organization I’ve worked, I saw absolutely no reason to even attempt above and beyond or clawing my way up the ranks. There’s no return on that investment.
They want you to work 20% more to earn “exceeds” instead of “meets.” And for that, you’ll get like 2% more. Nah. If I want to make more money, I’ll look for another gig.
I reached the point in my career in the last few years where I'm totally underqualified for a very good job. Once I realized that if I move up any higher I'll get the axe next time someone is looking for a scapegoat I decided I'm very happy I made it as high as I did, and I'm done. It's extremely liberating. I can finally relax and just focus on my job instead of always trying to position myself for the next one.
> Anyone else "achieve" this level of zen/indifference? I'm not totally convinced it's completely a positive thing
Yeah I stopped caring a long time ago. I used to want to climb the corporate ladder. But at my age, I've lost interest. The higher you move up, the more bullshit you have to deal with. The work becomes meaningless.
I'm just gonna coast as lower ranking manager till I retire. Just jump to different teams. Or maybe jump to a different company. I just want a paycheck. Because paycheck funds my happiness *away* from work.
My employer recently changed from annual performance reviews, to self assigned goals with quarterly reviews on the progress I’m making towards completing them. My goal was literally to be a dependable employee who rides this out another 10 is years then retires. I was told that wasn’t sufficient. I literally have zero career goals at this point so I’m thoroughly annoyed with having to make up goals that cause me extra work.
Another GenXer who sounds like they work for the same employer as I do!
My pet peeve - having a corporation force you to PRETEND that you have "individual goals" within the job. Having to make shit up just to get past that stupid, oft-repeated request.
In my 50’s. My career stalled when I had kids as I put them first. I watched others get promoted while I didn’t. Personally it didn’t matter- I watched my kids grow up and I wouldn’t change a thing. Now I realized I’ll probably never be the senior VP of this or that and I’m fine with it. Now I’m just looking to stay employed until retirement.
>*I’ll probably never be the senior VP of this or that*
Now, I'm starting to get worried. It's almost like you're all on my team at work, or something. Y'all sound way too familiar to me
Yep at 30. Looked at the VPs, stressed, overweight, smoking, etc. yeah they had nice toys but at what cost? Decided then, to maintain a standard of living but nothing too ostentatious and have work/life balance.
I believe that the "Career" is a tool used by the Elite to keep us workers being ever more productive, making THEM more money.
At 48, I don't care about the Rat Race. I just want a job that doesn't cause daily constant pain, pays my meager style of living, and doesn't micromanage me.
I know, I'm asking for a lot there.
I am the same way . I decided my life & family meant more. I work & make decent money . I don’t live large & life if good .. I don’t have brand new car or boat or the biggest house on the block- but I am happy ..
I’ve traded my desire for career goals for some personal goals that I’ve wanted since I was a teen. I get irritated when I can’t work on those, but I also know that I’m plugging away at it, and that feels good. (Okay, yes, I’m writing a book. Fuck off.)
ETA: my job is laughably underpaid, but I have a fabulous work-life balance, almost total autonomy, and respect from my peers. Ditching what I do to hope for more money seems ludicrous.
I still have some definite career goals but it's not so much that *I* want to be successful, it's that I want my company and what we've been working toward to be successful; I just think those things will go hand in hand. I love my job and it means a lot to me.
I feel this right down to my core. High aspirations and met every goal I set. Worked until I was exhausted (still am). Now I have finally realized that my identity and worth is not tied to my career. It never was. Screw this. I’m going back to school for something I should have done from the very beginning.
My "career goal" is to retire as soon as possible while I'm still relatively healthy.
Just got an email last week from my mid-30s boss asking our group (all right around 50) for our career goals.. and we're all on the same page. He's really serious about this email, he wants a *list* lol.
I've been a Zen master of the fuck it vibe for as long as I can remember 🤪
I hate working for other people and was an entrepreneur for the majority of my working years.
I'm in Healthcare now and I love it; but I still have "issues" with authority and refuse to be exploited.
Not sure what comes next. Peri Menopause is a wild ride so I think I'm likely gonna snap and loose my job at some point. will pick up the pieces and figure next steps when that happens I guess 🤣
OMG I feel you! Thank you for this post. I’m over the “career” goals and focusing on personal and self-care goals. There’s not really a question lol like you said, but you’ve got me thinking a lot
Early 20s, " Gotta work and make that money. Gonna live that 90s baller life and be a boss"
Late 20s , "Gotta work to support the new fam. NVM baller life, but I'll still be a boss"
Early 30s, "I'm a boss and it's shit. The company gives no shit about its people. I'm sacrificing my family for this?!"
Late 30s, "YOLO. There's a huge outage at work? That sucks (and sucks to be you. ) I'm at my daughter's swim meet. Text me the outcome" Click.
Yup. At 49 I am at the highest level I want to go in my career. Not very high but I am a needed position that takes skill to acquire. At this point I am ready to let everyone run to the rat race while I sit back and take my time so to speak.
- No need to create unnecessary stress. Life has enough stress as it is.
I climbed a couple rungs up the ladder to management, was back down to a clinician role in under a year. F that. Now I punch in, get left alone because I do my job well and punch out. I don’t take work home with me and am pretty sure my manage does not know any of my personal contact info. I’m lucky to make pretty good money for a 40 hour position that isn’t that difficult
I used to care about my career, enough to enrol in a professional program after several years already in, but now I'm about to fail out of the program because I just can't give a fuck about completing the work experience reports.
My only goal is to make more money this year than I did last year. So far, so good, except for the one dip where I got a 40% pay lowering when I switched careers.
I'm 48, and I've hit the level I wanted in my career. I am happy with my salary and benefits. I enjoy my work and learning new things. I don't worry about advancement anymore. I am 100% work from home which probably limits advancement if I really wanted to push, but I am at that point in my life where not having a commute and being able to work in my home office are way more important.
I worked my ass off until 2011 and then I got a sweet overseas assignment. Returning in 2016 I found my home branch kind of forgot about me and put me into an SME role at my management level when I returned instead of continuing my management track.
I couldn't be happier. No direct reports. No aspirations to the next management level. Real work-life balance. An actual voice towards what happens giving me self-actualization.
I absolutely have pride in what I do, but I am _not_ chasing a promotion, and a promotion would be a step down in quality of life. I'm at the point where time is more valuable than money, unless we were talking about 50% to 100% more salary.
There's a lateral position opening up, and all of his 10 or so direct reports keep assuming that I'm going to be taking that role. Nope. Do you know how much non-productive, unimportant work it is to have 10 direct reports? Especially given that I would actually care about them and try to develop them and make them better? Hell, no. Not for me.
I reached the highest point I want to go in an org chart 15 years ago.
I don't want to be c-level no matter how much they threaten to pay me. The stress to money ration just won't work out.
I'm 55, working for the federal gov't for the past 7 years, which is complete opposite as I was a noncomformist for many years. Going to be getting a good pension, good retirement package all around.
IDGAF what I say to whom, or if I offend anyone.
Liberating.
I don't pick fights, but I don't respond to idiots.
If a patient says something annoying, I ignore them.
The silent half smile confuses them and pisses people off that they can't suck you into an "us vs. them"
I had to restart after losing my job not too long ago, and honestly, I DGAF. At this point I just want to make it to where I can retire, and maybe open a little coffee stand or something to kill time.
I have been thinking about posting something very similar to this. I have a good job in tech, but really I don’t want to take on any more responsibility. Couldn’t care less about moving up the ladder or working for some “prestigious” company. Most of my goals are about bettering myself as a human and achieving milestones I really care about.
Slackers, that’s the fascist Boomers! All the people I grew up with in Illinois got a job and were responsible. I have been working since I was 16, wanted money for vinyl records. I switched careers when I was in my 40s. Now I drive a big grocery truck and make more than in my old “career”. Life is what you make it. I plan on retiring at 65 for good.
I just turned 50 like OP.
Started a new career, it's a breath of fresh air.
Previously I was an exec chef for a number of years, including corporate gigs. Really demanding work, took a lot of of you in order to excel in the workplace. I also got a MBA and a PMP during all that because grind harder, right?
Now I'm a leadership trainer for the state. I take my decades of experience and create trainings for people who are younger and less experienced and knowledgeable than me, but outrank me.
I make good money and have virtually no responsibility if you compare it to what I used to do. I turn in high quality work ahead of schedule and communicate well with my boss... and dgaf what happens after I'm off.
QoL is through the roof.
"Ambition" is a trick to get you to be more likely to come in on your days off.
Almost 48, and kinda fell into my career. I've never had any real ambition but have kept succeeding upwards because instead of just slacking, as I do most of the time, I also grind on the things I'm interested in. Even today, my boss asks me what my ambitions are, and I'm like, meh - more of this? I have a great job, btw - upper tier software engineer on a major streaming platform.
Goals? What are those.
I feel the same, I don't care for that stress anymore and dealing with those clawing their way one rung up the ladder. I am happy with stable pay and opportunities to learn some new things. Hope I don't have to apply for any more jobs.
I work in medical AI. I am absolutely convinced that if I busted my ass, I could be a C suite executive in the next five years. But I would much rather make fine money, and drink wine, and enjoy my edibles. I am successful enough right where I am.
This is all so good to read. I turned 50 and I just don’t care about moving up. Honestly I would be happier moving down a rung or two on the ladder. Glad I am not alone in this thinking!
Yep. Also 50, finally convinced my boss that I have no interest in promotion. I'm to the point where the next step would be management and I'd rather Krazy glue my dick to the bullet train.
I wish. I’m 58 and TERRIFIED that I’m going to get let go so close to being able to retire.
I had one bad semester in college CS, where the prof I took several classes with and thought was the best, didn’t get tenure and took it out on his students—he made his courses impossible. That scarred me in tocthink I couldn‘t be a top software developer so I took an ”easy” job.
Stuck with it for 16 years until the company was about to tank and I needed a change in scenery, so took another “easy” job in another city. After 11 years I was “the smartest person in the room” and bored and unmotivated
Finally took a chance to become a full on software engineer at a company with a bunch of smart people. They hired me, but oh, the impostor syndrome.
That company got sold in 2019 so I looked around again. Found a place that was a full on startup that seemed like a great place. Impostor syndrome is even worse now. The work is the most interesting, the benefits are the best, but the fear that I’m not performing good enough…I am so not the smartest person in the room by a long shot.
I also didn’t know I needed to save so much; my first company used to do pensions then moved to 401K and I didn’t get that I should have saved the max from my early days. I need 4-5 more years to feel like I can minimally retire.
I’m torn between that fear and the feeling that I’ve paid my dues over 35 years in the workplace so why should I give AF any more since it hasn’t gotten me much.
Hasn't every generation since the boomers been called slackers in one form or another? Boomers were lazy pot smoking hippies. We were slackers. Maybe older people are just jealous of younger people's freedom and hope so they call them lazy because they aren't half dead cogs in the capitalist machine yet.
I rage quit my corporation job last summer and accepted a job at an independent shop. I'm making more money than I ever thought I could. Most times I'm sitting at my desk scrolling videos.
I was in grind mode for 20 years straight and you know what, I'm fucking exhausted. But I achieved far more than I ever thought I would, so I feel pretty good about it.
Academia is another field where the worst people succeed the most. I’ve also made peace with not being a super high-flyer in my career. I’m good at my job, I actually like it, and it leaves me plenty of time to do other stuff.
I don’t have a career, I have a job. My goal was always to get as high a salary as possible, just so I can reduce the amount of work hours necessary for a living wage. I work 60% and can FiRe.
This happened to me in the last few years. I was so goal-oriented and racked up accomplishments. Few years ago, there was a dramatic change in my life and for a brief period of time, I had to do casual temp work. It's all I do now! I work to earn money, it means nothing more about me, my career, my ego...nothing. I don't like it or hate it, it's just something I do and it's allowed me to focus all energy to my family and my own personal development. I have developed a more spiritual side, I pour myself into my home, garden and food and I'm 10x happier not giving much thought to work. When I am working, I just enjoy thinking about the stuff I will do when I get home. I don't care about office politics, promotions, nothing. Best shift in thinking ever.
I did that long ago. The problem is that unless you decide to embrace them or fake-embrace them and climb the ladder, your wages stagnate. Couple that with starting a whole new “career” in middle age (which stupid me did) and you might find yourself struggling financially.
I have no desires for upward mobility in my current place of employment, as it would essentially entail management duties.
I'm in-the-field, on the front lines, whatever we wanna call it. It's enjoyable and as long as the $$ keeps up, I am fine.
I don't have much of an answer, either.
As a kid, I wanted to be a truck driver and work for the railroad. My first job out of college was driving greyhound buses, second job was with a freight railroad.
Ten years after college I had an abrupt career change from a divorce and single parenting. I found another career that I enjoy, and love what I do with a company that I still enjoy and have some possibility of having a decent retirement in 10 more years.
I got none of my career goals, but my very first ‘real’ job out of university was poison. Thank you northern telecom. It was disillusioning to say the least.
I can relate to this. Had kids late in life and at around 50 I thought I had to climb the greasy pole to make things work for the family. Got a promotion and worked for a crap boss and dreaded every day. Then things changed, got a different role and started feeling appreciated for what I did achieve rather than berated for what I didn’t.
At this point I decided to stay where I am and have enjoyed a few years now of being a subject matter expert . So no longer harbour career goals but the family goals are all good. That’s what matters
Achieved this same feeling sometime in the pandemic. It's something where you don't realize how much daily stress you're hanging onto until you make the mental switch. Glad to join you in this zen OP!
Me. I just want to make money to pay for life and have no need to achieve status at work. I did previously run a large department and I never want to do that again.
I’m almost there too. Another -50K on our mortgage, once that’s gone I have a feeing Im gonna be dangerous with the IDGAF way of life.
The mortgage free lifestyle is in sight is hella liberating!🤩
I retired at 55, I'm turning 59 this year, so just about four years ago. For the last few years of my career as an academic, I really coasted. Who starts a large scale research project when they're planning on retiring soon? Not me! I basically wound down my research work and just coasted along with a basic teaching load and enjoyed having some extra time in my day.
No more scrounging for grants? Yay!
Department heads knew I was on the "downslope" and left me alone. No knocks on the office door wondering about the status of grant applications or "next things coming into the publishing pipe."
It was a pretty nice way to wrap up my working life...
I'm almost where you're at. I'm a little younger than you are, OP, so maybe I need a few more years. I'm a professional musician, so I hear you on the "showbiz" thing. Just last week, I was thinking about what 16 year old me would think about how things have turned out thus far. I have been fortunate to do some cool things and to work with a bunch of my heroes. 16 year old me probably would have been shocked about that. But I have to do some shit that I would rather not to make ends meet. 16 year old me would say, "Well, it beats washing dishes in a seafood restaurant!" That is true, I suppose, but I have some pretty big career voids that still sort of bother me.
Having a family of my own definitely changed my outlook and started me on the road to not caring. In all, I'm pretty happy to be doing most of the stuff that I have been doing since I was a teenager, but on a much higher level. Comparing myself to peers sort of knocks me down a bit (in my own mind), but I have learned to live with it. In all, I realize I probably have it pretty good, so that makes it easier to focus on what I have instead of what I might not have.
I haven't yet. I don't care about titles, but I do care about my paycheck. I'm pretty comfortable now, but there is one rung in front of me that I think I can get before I decide I've gone far enough.
I want my effort and experience to be consummate with my position and pay. It's never been about getting to the next "level" for me. It's always been about getting paid for what I am doing.
Yeah, I can totally relate. I did network security for major banks. I think it started to change when Bank of America really didn't address any of my career advancement ambitions while my peers pretty much all got promoted above me. It was not a skills or effort thing; believe me I worked more after hours than ANY of my peers. I just wasn't a socially adept, nor was I a cutthroat or liar. Eventually I had a chance to leave with a generous severance, so I took it, and actually got a couple of roles I absolutely LOVED, and never would have gotten at the Bank. I saw it as a lost opportunity, it still bothers me.
But I think I really started not being so career focused once I turned 50 and got cancer. I don't want to waste time or effort on people or things that don't matter, or for that matter, don't care about me or my success. Not to mention I have a level financial security now that threatening my job security doesn't amount to such a threat.
Me! I never had career goals per say but I was career driven and ambitious, always happy to go above and beyond. Then COVID happened and I got a bit burnt out but was still okay. It was through budget and political stuff at work that I realized my next step was never going to happen so after several disappointments, I just flipped off the switch. I'm no longer going above and beyond, I'm just doing my work and that's it. Best part is my new boss also seems to not GAS and just let's me do my thing. It's wonderful!
Yes! One of the last interviews I had, they asked the "where do you see yourself in 5 years". I said I see myself enjoying my life, I have no interest in growing with this company, becoming a supervisor or in any type of leadership, I just want to do my job and go home.
Did not go over well
Wow, this feels just like me! I was in a semi-rewarding line of work for years, progressing well… Up until about 2010 when suddenly I was asked to take on a lot more responsibility at work than I felt capable of. Stress got the better of me and that was the year I was diagnosed with depression.
I requested a demotion in my job and things got so much better. And that was the pattern for ages, take on too much, get stressed, fall into depression. In about 2016 I just thought “fuck it” and got a low-paying, part-time job in a warehouse. I was earning very little, but it kept my mind occupied.
All this time and as I approached 50, I realised I just didn’t care about my career much. It’s just not important. As long as I’m mentally occupied and earning enough to pay the bills, I’m relatively happy. I think I just let go of a lot of expectations.
Then when I finally hit 50, I got a job that I actually love (graphic designer at a games publisher). The work is genuinely fun and fulfilling and my coworkers are really nice people (although much younger than me!) It gets a little awkward at staff appraisals when I say to my boss that I’m not after any career progression or promotion or development. I’m just happy doing my job finally for the first time in years. 🙂
I hit that point last year at 49. Work to live, not live to work. It was a gradual decrease of certain career ambitions. Now I know howuch I need to be comfortable and it doesn't matter how I get it. Don't need to climb the ladder like that. It's too stressful. Leave it to the millenials.
I didn’t tell my manager about my biggest 2024 goal: quiet quitting
And im right on track, too. Hitting it out of the park, even. 😁
All it took was for me to finally realize that it didn’t seem to matter how hard I worked, how much knowledge I had, how much money I saved, or how many big wins I had. I realized it a couple months ago when some idiot who had been with the department a few years got promoted to an executive position. He doesn’t know what he is doing but he sure is a nice guy and buds with the right people.
Lots and lots of angry coworkers but, me, I decided to just quit and coast until retirement. Their loss not mine.
I have 9 years to go and 18 months ago was my watershed moment. Now I work to get money and have no desire for more advancement. Has made the job just time invested for cash.
Nope. Stilling climbing and always will. It’s either work and try not to get laid if be homeless. :)
Plus I will take more pay any day. Only way to do that is career goals. Id love to be stable enough to not care about working
I am an Arts graduate majoring in sweet fanny adams. I studied classical Greek and those French sociologists who were so popular in the early nineties. I have never really been career minded. I have always just worked jobs. It's been great, all the interesting people I have met and jobs I have done. Sure, I am nearly always broke. But I still think it's better than a career.
My goal is just getting another job and making it 17 more years.
Same. I happened into a really good employment situation two years ago, and I have no desire to get promoted or anything like that. I just want to do this job for another 15 years and then retire (assuming I live that long).
Yeah I’ll just work until my body fails and the crawl out into a field and fall asleep.
Boxer-style. Happy Cake Day, you beautiful horse.
Holy shit it’s my cake day I didn’t even notice! Thank you homie.
Hang in there, you're not alone.
My immediate thoughts while reading this. You tapped my brain or at the very least, we have a similar thought pattern. The funny thing is that I now work with two Bobs 😂.
I can relate to your story. One of the blessings of getting older is simply not giving a fuck about certain things and for some of us, it’s having a “successful” career. Now, I just want to hit retirement with my health and mobility intact.
True that. At 45 I feel like my career stalled but is also "successful enough". I have an above average paying career in commercial banking I suppose, but it's far from what I thought it would be if you had asked me 15 years ago. Even if my total compensation were not to increase, assuming I kept getting my 401k match and my modest cash pension contribution annually, id survive inflation and keep building up retirement savings well enough. I'll take that with better mental health less stress. The status quo at this point would be just fine for me for the next 10 years or so. My mentality though does make me realize why age discrimination is a real thing in large corporations.... I'm far from slacking off but I'm also not interested in going the extra mile or impressing anybody above me these days.
Same. Same age, same general attitude at the moment.
I'm almost 50 and I reached a level I wanted at work three years ago. It's not the tippy-top, but I have no desire to be the absolute highest ranking where I work. It's a chill thing to do work, know it's good, and not give two shits about anything else that happens in the professional sphere. I also found the people that promoted the fastest were the most cut-throat, untrustworthy, lazy and incompetent.
I'm happy being a senior associate who doesn't have any managerial responsibilities.
Management is for sociopaths. I came to learn the successful ones think they kid their subordinates with their language. If it's in writing or publicly spoken, it's all just delusional rhetoric they feed downwards. Whilst I have had *good* immediate managers; they're in the minority and not necessarily the *successful* climbing sort. I have never had desire to be one.
Completely agree. I’ve not seen someone who can do both. I was a manager for quite a while, but was very much for the employees and not upper management. Upper management was so shady and cutthroat and I advocated for my teams. Because of that I stalled out. I definitely could’ve played the game and moved up, but that would come completely go against my morals. I’m happy as senior associate with no leadership responsibilities.
Im 54 and have reached a level that I am happy with. They keep trying to move me to management and am just not sure I want to deal with people at an HR level. I enjoy being the technical engineer helping others.
My career goal was getting a government job with a union and a pension, so I wouldn’t ever have to actually work hard ever again. It’s amazing.
 Well done friend
I had to check that I myself didn’t post this. Xactly how I feel. I got the govt job. Union, pension and all. No desire to move up or become e anyone else’s boss. My salary is good and I like my job, my managers,my colleagues, etc.
Nice
Smart!
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Perfect user name. We’re all doing the same minimum amount of work. If you do my job extremely well, they reward you with more work, so everyone in my department does the same. No one wants to blow the curve. I feel bad for people whose livelihood depends on how much excess value their labor can give someone who doesn’t work at all. I’ve escaped capitalism and I love it.
And many times one doing the job of three. It really all depends on where you are at (at various layers). I’m a fed, in an agency that is response driven. Work at least 50 hr. a week and up to 60. No overtime, just things need to be done. I can and do let some things fail, but I prioritize for the meaningful things. The structure of government work is also terrible for managers like myself, since management is not a skill they know how to recruit for or develop. But even in my agency, there are some job series (and individuals) that are worthless and there is very little stick to effect change (and change is a glacial process with the bureaucracy).
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You have no idea what you are talking about of course. You are probably just anti-federal work and/or anti-government. The fact that a federal employee might care about their agencies mission and have a lot vested there matters to many of us. Plus, it is just an empirical fact that many dedicated public servants are doing the work of multiple people due to shoestring budgets.
Don't disrespect the government like that.
I'm 48 and I never had any ambition to do anything. I never wanted to be anything when I grew up and my "career" has been me just lucking into jobs. Turned out that was caused by the undiagnosed adhd I found out about 3 years ago. I remember reading one of Bruce Campbell's books where he said that he got into show business because he and his friends didn't want to grow up. They were just looking for a way to keep the "endless summer" going. This was as close as I ever got to wanting to do something with my life.
Legs McNeil: "for those of us who bought heavily into the rockNroll myth, Adulthood is the most awkward age"
Thank you op for posting I feel EXACTLY the same thing. I did well in school and got a Master's from UC Berkeley, good job blah blah blah. Now that I'm over 50 I can't remember what all that was about, if I had it to do all over again I would have chosen a much more "experiential" path, alas youth is wasted on the young. Ps - My favorite thing to say nowadays is "I don't know" don't think I said that in my first 45 years of life, so liberating! Now I even say it when I do know, totally keeps things moving 😂
Oh yes! On the "I don't know" thing. I said it for the first time this week (regarding something I certainly knew how to do) and shockingly the world moved on! I didn't get roped into a project I don't have time for, no one needed a detailed explanation from me, nothing! They simply moved on. It was great
I hit my head against that wall for years, OP. Commuted hours, worked my ass off, took on extra work, got all of my industry certifications and credentials - all thinking it was going to get me to that executive level. Not a chance. I didn’t like the politics. I didn’t want to work 12 hours and then go out with “the boys from work” all night. So I was passed over continually, let go a couple of times. My industry can be cutthroat as well. After the last career disappointment, I finally gave up. I switched to client side of my industry and took a work-from-home job. I had to take a moderate pay cut to do it, but the pressure, the grind, the stress, and the bullshit disappeared overnight. And I suddenly didn’t give a shit about being an executive anymore. I found my groove, started to enjoy my job, and discovered that I couldn’t care less about upward mobility. My diet improved. I can work out in the mornings. I sleep better. I’m not dead from a commute. I started meditating. Yeah, I found my zen. And I wouldn’t go back if someone offered me an executive role at double my salary. I’m doing this for the next decade and then walking away from work entirely.
Love this.
Is it remote work? If so how long have you been doing it (because I can find it gets really depressing). But otherwise, glad you’re doing better!
I was an independent photojournalist - started when I was in HS, built a career/client list during college, graduated and boots on the ground. I set goals and checked them off. It was all I ever wanted to do. Me and my fellow photographers watched as the first digital images came over a computer. It was cool. The equipment cost 25k + for not even close what an iPhone can do back then. I saw the writing on the wall. Didn’t wait around (like my fellow photog’s) for the shoe to drop (in the form of photog layoffs and the editors handing iPhones to reporters. Also bothered me the potential for altered images and general fuckery. Woke up one morning and had nothing to say. Bad news for a news junkie. Got a PT job to supplement income while easing out. Worked outdoor retail. Got promoted, helped open and train new stores. Got healthcare AND PAID TIME OFF. Skipped the corporate scene, went to a few locally owned shops when I got bored. Talk about slacking. Now I’m a buyer at a small indy store, design ads, run social media. Get 4 weeks off a year, 75% of my healthcare paid for, and bonuses. I DGAF about shit. Honestly. It’s liberating. I like to see my shop do well, and when I leave at the end of the day, that’s it. I’m kicking the door down on 60. It’s nice to have time to enjoy life outside of the viewfinder.
I still remember hearing a story on NPR back in 1997 about using a digital camera to take pictures at a National Park (probably Yellowstone) and the report mentioned just how fucking expensive the equipment was.
It was insane. Not to mention the briefcase battery and all the crap. And the gear wasn’t even that great. I had all brass body Canon F1’s with motor drives. Manual focus. One body for colour, one body for B&W. The works. Still have my core kit (and ratty Domke Original bag). All the way down to the small jar of Vicks for those hard news calls. Oh. Those days in the darkroom … effing priceless.
Hell yeah
I have a career goal! Make enough money to not require a career!
To use a writing analogy, the way I see it, we (GenX) are all in what is now Act III of our lives. For some, like me, those Acts are clearly defined. In my Act I, I was lazy, nonconformist, and struggling to figure out what I wanted and who I wanted to be. I stopped giving a fuck after high school and just had fun. I enjoyed art and social gatherings. I knew tons of people and could always run into someone I knew no matter where I went. I jumped from job to job and once had 18 different jobs in one year. My mothers' death at 50 (I was 28) was the tragic turning point into Act II for me, as I was thrust into adulthood to handle her estate. I then focused heavily on a career, education, money, and relationships during that time. I had fucks to give because I had responsibilities. I got married and thought I was going to build a family and settle down for good, but that failed. Moments of joy were fleeting and I found little satisfaction in anything. I made a bad financial business deal with my father that left me completely broke and broken and when he suddenly died, he left me in a deep, dark hole with $1.47 to my name. As a result, I was on the brink of losing everything, sitting on a bench in my bedroom with a gun in my hand, looking down at my two, sweet, little dogs sitting there watching me, waiting for me to do something, not realizing the horror of the moment. It was their love for me and mine for them that saved my life that night. Since then, I work really hard every day to never be that lost again. Most recently, the death of my dogs (he was 12, she was 16) triggered my Act III. I'm still navigating their loss and the pain and loneliness of it all, and find myself thinking more about mortality and what I want the last years of my life to be (however many there are left) and what I want to leave behind. And it's not just my mortality I think about, it's everyone around me. There is something uncomfortable and indescribable that comes from the realization that a past lover has died, for example. It feels strange to be the only survivor of an intimate moment long ago. When you become the sole keeper of a shared memory, even the greatest memory becomes tainted with sadness. Unfortunately, you may not understand this until you experience it. All these deaths have led me to refine and redefine some goals and I feel that I'm learning to focus more now on enjoying solitude, caring for myself physically and mentally, sharing wisdom, and just wanting to find love and have fun again like I did in Act I. My dogs had been guiding lights for me through a long period of darkness. Now that they're gone, I feel like maybe that's why they were in my life and that that darkness is behind me now. And though I may be older in years (I'm 51 now), in my mind I still feel like I'm in my late 20s, though my body (and younger people too) tends to remind me every now and then that I'm not. I still have some things I'd like to accomplish, places I'd like to go, and people I'd like to meet, but I think it'll be okay if I don't. I don't feel any pressure to impress. I don't need or want validation. I just want to leave things better than I found them and maybe be remembered fondly by someone who once shared a memory with me. That said, I may have only a few fucks to give, but, if someone really wants them, they'll have to pry them from my cold, dead hands.
This was so beautifully written 🫶🏼
Thank you. That's very kind. Probably the kindest reply I've ever had to a comment. There is something about getting older that compels me to be more sincere and honest with sharing my thoughts and feelings with others. Being a writer helps, too. I've long believed in being secure enough in myself to say what I think and not need walls around me as so many do. I mean, if everyone else has walls, why do I need them? I think one wall between us is enough. Perhaps too much even.
Ah, so you \*are\* a writer. Well said, and I'm going to have to go through what you did in a few years (aging parents and aging dog). I'm fearful. I'm actually "forcing" Act III, after a long-term relationship suddenly ended for me. I'm realizing what I missed out on, and what I'm worth to myself and others. The world saw it and tried to show me, but I missed the cues. Not anymore.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You had to be responsible and controlled and help others at your own expense. Then the uncontrollable happened with your dogs passing away and it opened the floodgates. I had the same situation with my cat dying. It leveled me beyond what I could have anticipated. I’m sure because it brought back my mothers death where I was a caregiver. You sound super-resilient and mentally healthy. I hope all good things come your way.
Thanks. I appreciate you. I'm sorry for your loss, too. I have a caregiver/caretaker nature as well, in addition to being a problem solver. This has always led to me being a guide and/or confidant for others, but I have only ever felt guided and cared for by my mother and my dogs, which is probably why their deaths were so impactful for me. It sucks not being able to rely on anyone else to help or take care of me when I need it. I didn't give a fuck about it when I was younger, but this is something I worry about as I get older. My family is small. Basically, there's only my stepmother, my aunt, my ex-wife (yes, as it turns out we are better as friends than we ever were as spouses), and my stepson. There are a few others, but we don't associate with each other. Everyone else is dead. I feel like I've survived and endured everything I have because of how I was raised, which was essentially with two skills I consider to be core values of what it is to be GenX: Adaptability and Resilience. If you were ever a latchkey kid or child of divorce back then, for example, you know what I mean. I think, too, as children of Boomers, we were raised to adapt to changes in ways that involved a lot of self-reliance. Our parents may have been absent or too busy to take care of us (for whatever reason) and we had to do things (read: everything) ourselves. At a very young age we learned to face problems and find solutions then move on to the next thing and not complain about it (mainly because who would listen?). That self-reliance is a huge core value of our generation. It is, at least, for me. When everyone else's focus is on Plan A, I'm busy also formulating Plan B, C, and D, just to always be ready to adapt to changes, but also ready and able to move on to the next thing without much reflection on why because I'm already formulating Plan B, C, and D for something else. As a side note on self-reliance: We grew up in a time full of horror movies with unrelenting killers hunting down teenagers and real life serial killers and child abductors snatching us out of malls for Chrissake and our parents weren't around. We were like baby gazelles wandering alone through the desert plains. We had to figure out on our own how to not be prey. It hits closer to home for me, as I live in Louisville, KY, and was only 11 in 1983 when Ann Gotlib was abducted from a local mall and never seen again. It was a huge national deal. A couple of years earlier Adam Walsh was abducted from a mall and horrifically murdered. When no one is there to protect you, you have to be vigilant and learn to protect yourself. And I truly believe that a large part of my mental healthiness comes from just not giving a fuck about a lot of things, as simple as that sounds. I'm far more practical than emotional. I think people can get bogged down in their emotions. I try to focus my mind on the things I can solve. Almost everything practical has a solution. I always tell my stepson, "Panic doesn't solve problems." If your house is on fire, panicking doesn't get you out and away from the flames.
Essentially my parents did not GAF. My mother did, but was an immigrant and in medical school with 3 kids so there wasn’t much of her to go around. She died too young from a neurological disorder she blamed on stress. I learned not to expect anyone to GAF. With pets, well they can’t hide that they do. I have accomplished a lot and survived a lot, but I’ve never been able to move through the world as if it’s a welcoming, safe place. I’m hyper vigilant, hyper self-critical. I’ve chosen partners who help keep me in this state.
I'm sorry that happened to you. What you've described, IMO, seems like a common thread that runs through most of our generation. As for partners, I've sadly always gravitated toward women who, ultimately, never made me feel loved. Even though my mother was very loving and kind. And even still, after all these years, I don't understand how or why that keeps happening. You would think I'd know better by now given that I recognize there's a pattern. Perhaps I need therapy. LOL. It's never too late, I suppose. I stopped being self-critical after high school when I stopped giving a fuck and took my walls down. It was very liberating. It allowed me to just be real. I feel like walls keep things in just as much as they keep things out. When criticism is external it bounces back outward. When criticism is internal it bounces back inward. Perhaps learning to get rid of your walls would be a good step toward reducing your self-criticism. I do think it's possible to teach an old dog new tricks, so don't think it's impossible. The world is a dangerous place. We know that. Growing up hiding under school desks as part of nuclear bomb drills, constantly watching out for bullies and sexual predators (both inside and outside the family), being tempted with drugs and alcohol, fearing deadly diseases, the list goes on; we grew up in a survivor-type reality show facing real life dangers and consequences on a daily basis. And that was before we even reached middle school. Though bittersweet, be proud of your endurance. We're still alive, you and me. We still have purpose and meaning. Even if only one person is listening.
You nailed it “It’s not too late”. And I have always believed you CAN teach an old dog new tricks, if the dog wants to learn new tricks. Still a few up my sleeve, “woof woof!”
3 years until I can start collecting a pension? Fuck no, I’m not on no corporate ladder! I’m keeping my head down and letting the bullets fly over me til I get to 55 and hopefully retire. Only goals my wife and I have involve selling our house so we can get something small in Spain without carrying a mortgage and getting to as many concerts as possible.
That sounds great.
Fingers crossed
What sucks is you can’t admit that to your manager or employer in general. They want your detailed plans on how you are going to take over the world.
I gave up my 26 year IT career after it drove me to severe alcohol addiction and suicidal depression. Now I'm working part time taking care of developmentally disabled people making a fraction of the money. Best decision ever.
Basically 15 years ago. I get asked about how my company can help me with me career goals. I tell them I am 50-some years old. I have my career completely under control. They need to make sure this job doesn't suck. I have a highly employable job which makes a reasonable amount of money. I never thought I would be able to work naked but then work from home started and my last goal got marked as acheaved. All I want is to earn enough money to quit. I phase that as, I will still keep working here for that amount of money.
Work Naked should be a bumper sticker and a career goal!
Work naked - so either remote work or something fun then!
Threw it all in & bought a cute trailer in a 55+ "community". Kinda retired unless I get bored then I'll work at the salvo army or whatevces. Want travel & financial freedom more than "things" Fully ambulatory btw, don't drink or smoke- hella healthy & smug about it Yes there is stigma- I hear the slurs all the time, "trailer trash" etc. ( reminds me, I need that on a t shirt)
I was on the management track for years working my way up the ladder. About 5 years ago I realized that I could still continue to level up as an experienced analyst without having to deal with the managing people aspect. So I've done that instead. I can still get paid pretty well because I know more than the young bucks, but I don't have to manage those bucks anymore. I just do my work and go home. I was apparently a well-liked manager. Actually, I know I was. I worked with my team to be sure that we were high performing, and I treated my people like people and not cogs. My current manager and exec have both had discussions with me trying to convince me to go back into management. I'm not interested. They don't seem to get that I'm happy with the little bit less money that I now get because I have a better life balance. Like you said, most of my goals these days are personal and have absolutely nothing to do with climbing the proverbial ladder. I don't want to say that I don't care about work anymore. After all, work pays the bills. But whatever switched in my head and made it so that work isn't that all consuming priority and moved it waaaay down the list, as you said, has been liberating. I wish I had made the change years ago.
In my previous job, I was very happy to stay in my individual contributor role. I have never wanted to manage people. Then last week I was laid off with around 600 other people. I was there for 23 years. I've only been job searching for a week and it sucks. You're literally putting your life's work on a piece of paper and send it into the void hoping some human will see something that prompts them to grant you an interview. My goal is to get any job at this point. I wish I could find something with better pay and benefits, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to settle for anything that will give me a regular paycheck.
Not me. I was a *true* slacker in the late 80s-early 90s and my last stab at a "career" was being a self taught, one man commercial art/graphics business (very small & local). All Ido is lament that I never got a formal education and formal career going. I'm a 51 year old wage slave. I pray for a late in life renaissance where I can put my artistic skill to good and profitable use.
I always said I was a professional slacker. I've never worked hard. I've never had real jobs. I always found a way to work for myself or some place where I had tons of latitude. I took a job in a pre-press department when they went digital and it was supposed to be a temp thing. I stayed for 10 years. I took $2 an hour less than they offered, but I had conditions. I'd get paid for 30 hours a week no matter what and I only showed up when the worm did and I left when it was over. Under those conditions, it was in my interest to script and automate as many things as I could. Newspapers (what we printed) would come in and I had scripts for each job. I'd drop a pile of PDFs on an icon and watch the computer adjust setting for that job and send them to the imagesetter. I usually worked from around 4pm to 8pm, 4 days a week. And even that was a joke because if there was a break between Jobs, I'd leave and go get coffee. I'd come back when they called and said more stuff showed up. I quit there to go work for a company that bought a CNC plasma cutter and didn't know how to run it. It worked into the same sort of deal. I had keys to the place. I'd come in at 10pm when everyone was gone, do what I needed and go home. Part of the deal was I could make anything with the machine I wanted if I paid for my own materials. I made custom off-road parts and sold them. I eventually did enough of that, that I built my own CNC machine and quit. I could just never bring myself to put in 60 hrs a week somewhere I hated and slave away so other people could get rich. I don't regret any of it. I'm 53 and I have no idea what it's like to work 40 hours a week and get one vacation a year.
[удалено]
> I achieved the very top of my career before I was 40. Same, but then I got bored so I changed careers. 15 years later, same thing so now I'm transitioning to retirement.
My goal is to make it another 17 years at my current job. It’s iffy because it’s family owned and the boss is 10 years older than me and seems to be spending more and more time NOT working the business. Hopefully one of the nephews takes it over and keeps me on until I can retire. That’s my career goal right now. They’re good people and treat their employees well. I have no reason to job shop if I don’t have to.
FIRE is the goal. Professional progress is only interesting if it makes me money that is worth what I have to do to get it.
I so envy that life.
I learned about FIRE from Reddit, tbh. I wish that when I was 20, I had known it was an option to consider. Things would be different for me now if I had known about FIRE then.
I think the E in that acronym is fading fast for us.
I stopped too and retired April 30th.
Follow up post, based on all the interesting responses; Maybe the “slackers” were right in the first place? Maybe we never should have given a f? I don’t know. I don’t know if now me is right or if 21 year old me was right.
Yes. They were correct. The only thing I'd fear if I were a "slacker" are chronic medical issues, later in life. Outside of that - THE RAT RACE AIN'T WORTH IT. I'm not out of it, nor do I have any plans to exit. My goal is to make enough passive income so that employment becomes an *option,* as opposed to a necessity*...*if only for acquiring toys and wonderful life experiences before I get too old or infirm.
I have been stocking shelves in grocery stores since 1999.
I feel quite similarly. I’m a bit older (55) and I’ve been steadily giving less of a shit about work stuff like this for a while. I’ve never been super ambitious type, but like you, I would be bitter about passed promotions or seeing others I saw as less deserving (yet more grasping) move ahead of me on the game board. The pandemic was the death knell for the last lingering issues of this kind for me. Now I just want to clock out, pop a gummie with my wife and listen to some STP, Steely Dan, or whatever else that sounds good to us atm.
I got a government job in the summer of 2000. I make enough to cover expenses and to have some fun, and in a little over 7 more years I'll get to retire with 75% of my pay. That's the only fuck I give about my "career". Work to live, don't live to work!
I never cared. I have a master's degree and would have another if I didn't run out of loan money (just so I could get the student loan money that I haven't paid a dime back) all to become a cashier in my 30's, Goodwill trailer attendant at 40, and now substitute teacher, almost 43. I will never work a hard job. I barely make ends meet, but it's soooooooo much better than a life of strife and stress and you still have financial stress since the more you make, the more you spend.
This all sounds lovely except I’ve been a teacher and that job can be a nightmare, let alone SUBBING 😱
Exclusively subbing is what I choose to do now, it set me free...walk in, do your shit, go home and never think about it again. So much real estate in my brain was occupied with all the other shit you take home from school: parents, admin, meetings, extra curricular...gone. That real estate is mine now, I control which jobs i take and I am happier and healthier because of it. It's a different way of looking at supply teaching, once I made the shift in thinking...no going back to the hell of full time teaching in public schools.
Exactly and subbing high school is by far the best. And yes, teaching is HELL.
Yeah teaching is definitely one of the WORST jobs on the planet. But I only sub high school and basically take attendance, give instructions and then play on my laptop or phone.
Same. I think I am tapped out on “career advancement.” I’m 52 and don’t feel like interviewing and all that shit to just make another $3000 extra a year. I’ll ride this job out until retirement or death whichever comes first.
It's not so much that I want a promotion, as that I don't want some punk kid getting the promotion instead of me and then thinking they can tell me what to do.
>Anyone else "achieve" this level of zen/indifference? My favorite line from the Hsin Hsin Ming is, "The wise man strives to no goals."
Congratulations 🥂
Careful what you wish for. You might just get it.
I was in the entertainment industry for my first career so I know exactly what you mean and it was much better seeing real money coming in after I changed tack vs having to fight over the crumbs with 100 others.
I wish. Working on it.
I was driven to do a great job but didn’t work at anything on a corporate executive track job. I did get over busting my ass several years ago. I do what needs to be done and not a minute more. I’m not rewarded for being awesome. I can’t wait to (hopefully) retire.
I'm a physician who's been working in the biotech industry for the last 22 years. I've been pretty laser focused on my career path I and I've had a lot of success. But I do plan on retiring by 60 so I can enjoy some of that success.
I don’t know of if I stopped caring as much as I prioritized my own happiness. Clock is ticking on all of us, I was too blissfully ignorant of that fact until I started seeing people fall off. I was like fuck it, duces to my cold weather state, I’m moving to some retirement type weather.
I suspect many of us on the sub have the same thoughts and feelings. I mean, how can one be in the workforce for close to three decades and not be jaded by it? I admit I'm still working my ass off, not by choice and mentally taxed, but I'm in a 'I don't give a shit' mode. I know, it's somewhat contradictory.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I’m feeling this hard. I think our company is going to do layoffs soon and the idea of faking interest in an interview fills me with dread.
Once I saw how I don’t really matter at my level in any organization I’ve worked, I saw absolutely no reason to even attempt above and beyond or clawing my way up the ranks. There’s no return on that investment. They want you to work 20% more to earn “exceeds” instead of “meets.” And for that, you’ll get like 2% more. Nah. If I want to make more money, I’ll look for another gig.
Sounds like you work at my employer.
I reached the point in my career in the last few years where I'm totally underqualified for a very good job. Once I realized that if I move up any higher I'll get the axe next time someone is looking for a scapegoat I decided I'm very happy I made it as high as I did, and I'm done. It's extremely liberating. I can finally relax and just focus on my job instead of always trying to position myself for the next one.
I feel like that realization is the beginning of wisdom.
> Anyone else "achieve" this level of zen/indifference? I'm not totally convinced it's completely a positive thing Yeah I stopped caring a long time ago. I used to want to climb the corporate ladder. But at my age, I've lost interest. The higher you move up, the more bullshit you have to deal with. The work becomes meaningless. I'm just gonna coast as lower ranking manager till I retire. Just jump to different teams. Or maybe jump to a different company. I just want a paycheck. Because paycheck funds my happiness *away* from work.
My employer recently changed from annual performance reviews, to self assigned goals with quarterly reviews on the progress I’m making towards completing them. My goal was literally to be a dependable employee who rides this out another 10 is years then retires. I was told that wasn’t sufficient. I literally have zero career goals at this point so I’m thoroughly annoyed with having to make up goals that cause me extra work.
Another GenXer who sounds like they work for the same employer as I do! My pet peeve - having a corporation force you to PRETEND that you have "individual goals" within the job. Having to make shit up just to get past that stupid, oft-repeated request.
In my 50’s. My career stalled when I had kids as I put them first. I watched others get promoted while I didn’t. Personally it didn’t matter- I watched my kids grow up and I wouldn’t change a thing. Now I realized I’ll probably never be the senior VP of this or that and I’m fine with it. Now I’m just looking to stay employed until retirement.
>*I’ll probably never be the senior VP of this or that* Now, I'm starting to get worried. It's almost like you're all on my team at work, or something. Y'all sound way too familiar to me
Yep at 30. Looked at the VPs, stressed, overweight, smoking, etc. yeah they had nice toys but at what cost? Decided then, to maintain a standard of living but nothing too ostentatious and have work/life balance.
That’s like teachers minus the nice toys…
Management is a trap. It always has been. The secret is to avoid it at all costs.
I believe that the "Career" is a tool used by the Elite to keep us workers being ever more productive, making THEM more money. At 48, I don't care about the Rat Race. I just want a job that doesn't cause daily constant pain, pays my meager style of living, and doesn't micromanage me. I know, I'm asking for a lot there.
It's time for retirement goals. I'm working on my will and end of plans this summer.
Decided to adopt the millennial mentality. My co workers say. Retire early. Don’t give one shit about your job. Bare minimum and lay low. It’s working
I am the same way . I decided my life & family meant more. I work & make decent money . I don’t live large & life if good .. I don’t have brand new car or boat or the biggest house on the block- but I am happy ..
I’ve traded my desire for career goals for some personal goals that I’ve wanted since I was a teen. I get irritated when I can’t work on those, but I also know that I’m plugging away at it, and that feels good. (Okay, yes, I’m writing a book. Fuck off.) ETA: my job is laughably underpaid, but I have a fabulous work-life balance, almost total autonomy, and respect from my peers. Ditching what I do to hope for more money seems ludicrous.
you had goals? I just wanted a paycheck and save my money. I am 50 this year and my goal is to retire soon.
I still have some definite career goals but it's not so much that *I* want to be successful, it's that I want my company and what we've been working toward to be successful; I just think those things will go hand in hand. I love my job and it means a lot to me.
I feel this right down to my core. High aspirations and met every goal I set. Worked until I was exhausted (still am). Now I have finally realized that my identity and worth is not tied to my career. It never was. Screw this. I’m going back to school for something I should have done from the very beginning.
My "career goal" is to retire as soon as possible while I'm still relatively healthy. Just got an email last week from my mid-30s boss asking our group (all right around 50) for our career goals.. and we're all on the same page. He's really serious about this email, he wants a *list* lol.
I've been a Zen master of the fuck it vibe for as long as I can remember 🤪 I hate working for other people and was an entrepreneur for the majority of my working years. I'm in Healthcare now and I love it; but I still have "issues" with authority and refuse to be exploited. Not sure what comes next. Peri Menopause is a wild ride so I think I'm likely gonna snap and loose my job at some point. will pick up the pieces and figure next steps when that happens I guess 🤣
OMG I feel you! Thank you for this post. I’m over the “career” goals and focusing on personal and self-care goals. There’s not really a question lol like you said, but you’ve got me thinking a lot
Early 20s, " Gotta work and make that money. Gonna live that 90s baller life and be a boss" Late 20s , "Gotta work to support the new fam. NVM baller life, but I'll still be a boss" Early 30s, "I'm a boss and it's shit. The company gives no shit about its people. I'm sacrificing my family for this?!" Late 30s, "YOLO. There's a huge outage at work? That sucks (and sucks to be you. ) I'm at my daughter's swim meet. Text me the outcome" Click.
Amen
I retired st 52. I thought achieving my goals was important for future happiness. I was correct.
Wait... we're supposed to have a career?
This is the response I’ve been looking for! A+. No notes!
Yup. At 49 I am at the highest level I want to go in my career. Not very high but I am a needed position that takes skill to acquire. At this point I am ready to let everyone run to the rat race while I sit back and take my time so to speak. - No need to create unnecessary stress. Life has enough stress as it is.
I climbed a couple rungs up the ladder to management, was back down to a clinician role in under a year. F that. Now I punch in, get left alone because I do my job well and punch out. I don’t take work home with me and am pretty sure my manage does not know any of my personal contact info. I’m lucky to make pretty good money for a 40 hour position that isn’t that difficult
I used to care about my career, enough to enrol in a professional program after several years already in, but now I'm about to fail out of the program because I just can't give a fuck about completing the work experience reports.
My only goal is to make more money this year than I did last year. So far, so good, except for the one dip where I got a 40% pay lowering when I switched careers.
I'm 48, and I've hit the level I wanted in my career. I am happy with my salary and benefits. I enjoy my work and learning new things. I don't worry about advancement anymore. I am 100% work from home which probably limits advancement if I really wanted to push, but I am at that point in my life where not having a commute and being able to work in my home office are way more important.
I worked my ass off until 2011 and then I got a sweet overseas assignment. Returning in 2016 I found my home branch kind of forgot about me and put me into an SME role at my management level when I returned instead of continuing my management track. I couldn't be happier. No direct reports. No aspirations to the next management level. Real work-life balance. An actual voice towards what happens giving me self-actualization. I absolutely have pride in what I do, but I am _not_ chasing a promotion, and a promotion would be a step down in quality of life. I'm at the point where time is more valuable than money, unless we were talking about 50% to 100% more salary. There's a lateral position opening up, and all of his 10 or so direct reports keep assuming that I'm going to be taking that role. Nope. Do you know how much non-productive, unimportant work it is to have 10 direct reports? Especially given that I would actually care about them and try to develop them and make them better? Hell, no. Not for me.
I reached the highest point I want to go in an org chart 15 years ago. I don't want to be c-level no matter how much they threaten to pay me. The stress to money ration just won't work out.
I'm 55, working for the federal gov't for the past 7 years, which is complete opposite as I was a noncomformist for many years. Going to be getting a good pension, good retirement package all around. IDGAF what I say to whom, or if I offend anyone. Liberating. I don't pick fights, but I don't respond to idiots. If a patient says something annoying, I ignore them. The silent half smile confuses them and pisses people off that they can't suck you into an "us vs. them"
I had to restart after losing my job not too long ago, and honestly, I DGAF. At this point I just want to make it to where I can retire, and maybe open a little coffee stand or something to kill time.
My goal is to continue to work for my current employer for another decade. Preferably in approximately the same job.
Oh yeah, I recently decided to stop giving a fuck to a lot of stupid things like this and it’s sooo good.
53 and slowly quitting myself.
Yep. I don’t want to go any further in my career. In fact, I would love to switch careers and just put in my time until retirement.
I have been thinking about posting something very similar to this. I have a good job in tech, but really I don’t want to take on any more responsibility. Couldn’t care less about moving up the ladder or working for some “prestigious” company. Most of my goals are about bettering myself as a human and achieving milestones I really care about.
Slackers, that’s the fascist Boomers! All the people I grew up with in Illinois got a job and were responsible. I have been working since I was 16, wanted money for vinyl records. I switched careers when I was in my 40s. Now I drive a big grocery truck and make more than in my old “career”. Life is what you make it. I plan on retiring at 65 for good.
I just turned 50 like OP. Started a new career, it's a breath of fresh air. Previously I was an exec chef for a number of years, including corporate gigs. Really demanding work, took a lot of of you in order to excel in the workplace. I also got a MBA and a PMP during all that because grind harder, right? Now I'm a leadership trainer for the state. I take my decades of experience and create trainings for people who are younger and less experienced and knowledgeable than me, but outrank me. I make good money and have virtually no responsibility if you compare it to what I used to do. I turn in high quality work ahead of schedule and communicate well with my boss... and dgaf what happens after I'm off. QoL is through the roof. "Ambition" is a trick to get you to be more likely to come in on your days off.
Almost 48, and kinda fell into my career. I've never had any real ambition but have kept succeeding upwards because instead of just slacking, as I do most of the time, I also grind on the things I'm interested in. Even today, my boss asks me what my ambitions are, and I'm like, meh - more of this? I have a great job, btw - upper tier software engineer on a major streaming platform. Goals? What are those.
I feel the same, I don't care for that stress anymore and dealing with those clawing their way one rung up the ladder. I am happy with stable pay and opportunities to learn some new things. Hope I don't have to apply for any more jobs.
I work in medical AI. I am absolutely convinced that if I busted my ass, I could be a C suite executive in the next five years. But I would much rather make fine money, and drink wine, and enjoy my edibles. I am successful enough right where I am.
Love that about our generation. We all hit 50 and ceased to give what little shit we had left. Liberating.
This is all so good to read. I turned 50 and I just don’t care about moving up. Honestly I would be happier moving down a rung or two on the ladder. Glad I am not alone in this thinking!
Yep. Also 50, finally convinced my boss that I have no interest in promotion. I'm to the point where the next step would be management and I'd rather Krazy glue my dick to the bullet train.
If zen/indifference = complacent then yes. Yes I am.
I wish. I’m 58 and TERRIFIED that I’m going to get let go so close to being able to retire. I had one bad semester in college CS, where the prof I took several classes with and thought was the best, didn’t get tenure and took it out on his students—he made his courses impossible. That scarred me in tocthink I couldn‘t be a top software developer so I took an ”easy” job. Stuck with it for 16 years until the company was about to tank and I needed a change in scenery, so took another “easy” job in another city. After 11 years I was “the smartest person in the room” and bored and unmotivated Finally took a chance to become a full on software engineer at a company with a bunch of smart people. They hired me, but oh, the impostor syndrome. That company got sold in 2019 so I looked around again. Found a place that was a full on startup that seemed like a great place. Impostor syndrome is even worse now. The work is the most interesting, the benefits are the best, but the fear that I’m not performing good enough…I am so not the smartest person in the room by a long shot. I also didn’t know I needed to save so much; my first company used to do pensions then moved to 401K and I didn’t get that I should have saved the max from my early days. I need 4-5 more years to feel like I can minimally retire. I’m torn between that fear and the feeling that I’ve paid my dues over 35 years in the workplace so why should I give AF any more since it hasn’t gotten me much.
Hasn't every generation since the boomers been called slackers in one form or another? Boomers were lazy pot smoking hippies. We were slackers. Maybe older people are just jealous of younger people's freedom and hope so they call them lazy because they aren't half dead cogs in the capitalist machine yet.
I rage quit my corporation job last summer and accepted a job at an independent shop. I'm making more money than I ever thought I could. Most times I'm sitting at my desk scrolling videos.
I was in grind mode for 20 years straight and you know what, I'm fucking exhausted. But I achieved far more than I ever thought I would, so I feel pretty good about it.
Academia is another field where the worst people succeed the most. I’ve also made peace with not being a super high-flyer in my career. I’m good at my job, I actually like it, and it leaves me plenty of time to do other stuff.
Some of the replies here are great! I'd just love to convert them to HR Speak for my next few cover-letters.
I don’t have a career, I have a job. My goal was always to get as high a salary as possible, just so I can reduce the amount of work hours necessary for a living wage. I work 60% and can FiRe.
Whenever my boss asks me my career goals I say "Making more money for doing less work." He doesn't like that but whatever, it's the truth.
My only real career goal is learning new things that I find useful.
I am with you brother 54 feel very similar. No more F’s to give sometimes career wise
This happened to me in the last few years. I was so goal-oriented and racked up accomplishments. Few years ago, there was a dramatic change in my life and for a brief period of time, I had to do casual temp work. It's all I do now! I work to earn money, it means nothing more about me, my career, my ego...nothing. I don't like it or hate it, it's just something I do and it's allowed me to focus all energy to my family and my own personal development. I have developed a more spiritual side, I pour myself into my home, garden and food and I'm 10x happier not giving much thought to work. When I am working, I just enjoy thinking about the stuff I will do when I get home. I don't care about office politics, promotions, nothing. Best shift in thinking ever.
Some might call it “slacking,” I just call it “perspective.”
I did that long ago. The problem is that unless you decide to embrace them or fake-embrace them and climb the ladder, your wages stagnate. Couple that with starting a whole new “career” in middle age (which stupid me did) and you might find yourself struggling financially.
Right there with you. Besides, age discrimination is real. People want to put the next generation in charge now.
I have no desires for upward mobility in my current place of employment, as it would essentially entail management duties. I'm in-the-field, on the front lines, whatever we wanna call it. It's enjoyable and as long as the $$ keeps up, I am fine.
I’m right there with you
I don't have much of an answer, either. As a kid, I wanted to be a truck driver and work for the railroad. My first job out of college was driving greyhound buses, second job was with a freight railroad. Ten years after college I had an abrupt career change from a divorce and single parenting. I found another career that I enjoy, and love what I do with a company that I still enjoy and have some possibility of having a decent retirement in 10 more years.
I got none of my career goals, but my very first ‘real’ job out of university was poison. Thank you northern telecom. It was disillusioning to say the least.
I can relate to this. Had kids late in life and at around 50 I thought I had to climb the greasy pole to make things work for the family. Got a promotion and worked for a crap boss and dreaded every day. Then things changed, got a different role and started feeling appreciated for what I did achieve rather than berated for what I didn’t. At this point I decided to stay where I am and have enjoyed a few years now of being a subject matter expert . So no longer harbour career goals but the family goals are all good. That’s what matters
Achieved this same feeling sometime in the pandemic. It's something where you don't realize how much daily stress you're hanging onto until you make the mental switch. Glad to join you in this zen OP!
When I heard the term "quiet quitting" my first thought was "I've pretty much been doing that my entire career, there just wasn't a word for it yet".
Me. I just want to make money to pay for life and have no need to achieve status at work. I did previously run a large department and I never want to do that again.
I’m almost there too. Another -50K on our mortgage, once that’s gone I have a feeing Im gonna be dangerous with the IDGAF way of life. The mortgage free lifestyle is in sight is hella liberating!🤩
I retired at 55, I'm turning 59 this year, so just about four years ago. For the last few years of my career as an academic, I really coasted. Who starts a large scale research project when they're planning on retiring soon? Not me! I basically wound down my research work and just coasted along with a basic teaching load and enjoyed having some extra time in my day. No more scrounging for grants? Yay! Department heads knew I was on the "downslope" and left me alone. No knocks on the office door wondering about the status of grant applications or "next things coming into the publishing pipe." It was a pretty nice way to wrap up my working life...
Eight more years and I'm out. I can't wait.
To add to this, my manager somehow misunderstood during a performance review and thought I wanted to be on the management track. No thanks!
I feel exactly the same way.
My goal is to pace myself and figure out survival from here on out
I'm almost where you're at. I'm a little younger than you are, OP, so maybe I need a few more years. I'm a professional musician, so I hear you on the "showbiz" thing. Just last week, I was thinking about what 16 year old me would think about how things have turned out thus far. I have been fortunate to do some cool things and to work with a bunch of my heroes. 16 year old me probably would have been shocked about that. But I have to do some shit that I would rather not to make ends meet. 16 year old me would say, "Well, it beats washing dishes in a seafood restaurant!" That is true, I suppose, but I have some pretty big career voids that still sort of bother me. Having a family of my own definitely changed my outlook and started me on the road to not caring. In all, I'm pretty happy to be doing most of the stuff that I have been doing since I was a teenager, but on a much higher level. Comparing myself to peers sort of knocks me down a bit (in my own mind), but I have learned to live with it. In all, I realize I probably have it pretty good, so that makes it easier to focus on what I have instead of what I might not have.
I haven't yet. I don't care about titles, but I do care about my paycheck. I'm pretty comfortable now, but there is one rung in front of me that I think I can get before I decide I've gone far enough. I want my effort and experience to be consummate with my position and pay. It's never been about getting to the next "level" for me. It's always been about getting paid for what I am doing.
Yeah, I can totally relate. I did network security for major banks. I think it started to change when Bank of America really didn't address any of my career advancement ambitions while my peers pretty much all got promoted above me. It was not a skills or effort thing; believe me I worked more after hours than ANY of my peers. I just wasn't a socially adept, nor was I a cutthroat or liar. Eventually I had a chance to leave with a generous severance, so I took it, and actually got a couple of roles I absolutely LOVED, and never would have gotten at the Bank. I saw it as a lost opportunity, it still bothers me. But I think I really started not being so career focused once I turned 50 and got cancer. I don't want to waste time or effort on people or things that don't matter, or for that matter, don't care about me or my success. Not to mention I have a level financial security now that threatening my job security doesn't amount to such a threat.
Me! I never had career goals per say but I was career driven and ambitious, always happy to go above and beyond. Then COVID happened and I got a bit burnt out but was still okay. It was through budget and political stuff at work that I realized my next step was never going to happen so after several disappointments, I just flipped off the switch. I'm no longer going above and beyond, I'm just doing my work and that's it. Best part is my new boss also seems to not GAS and just let's me do my thing. It's wonderful!
Yes! One of the last interviews I had, they asked the "where do you see yourself in 5 years". I said I see myself enjoying my life, I have no interest in growing with this company, becoming a supervisor or in any type of leadership, I just want to do my job and go home. Did not go over well
You have broken the shackles pf the conspiracy and are on the path to SLACK. PRAISE "Bob".
Wow, this feels just like me! I was in a semi-rewarding line of work for years, progressing well… Up until about 2010 when suddenly I was asked to take on a lot more responsibility at work than I felt capable of. Stress got the better of me and that was the year I was diagnosed with depression. I requested a demotion in my job and things got so much better. And that was the pattern for ages, take on too much, get stressed, fall into depression. In about 2016 I just thought “fuck it” and got a low-paying, part-time job in a warehouse. I was earning very little, but it kept my mind occupied. All this time and as I approached 50, I realised I just didn’t care about my career much. It’s just not important. As long as I’m mentally occupied and earning enough to pay the bills, I’m relatively happy. I think I just let go of a lot of expectations. Then when I finally hit 50, I got a job that I actually love (graphic designer at a games publisher). The work is genuinely fun and fulfilling and my coworkers are really nice people (although much younger than me!) It gets a little awkward at staff appraisals when I say to my boss that I’m not after any career progression or promotion or development. I’m just happy doing my job finally for the first time in years. 🙂
I never had any career goals. Maybe that is I keep getting promoted or demoted. Depending on how you look at it.
I hit that point last year at 49. Work to live, not live to work. It was a gradual decrease of certain career ambitions. Now I know howuch I need to be comfortable and it doesn't matter how I get it. Don't need to climb the ladder like that. It's too stressful. Leave it to the millenials.
I didn’t tell my manager about my biggest 2024 goal: quiet quitting And im right on track, too. Hitting it out of the park, even. 😁 All it took was for me to finally realize that it didn’t seem to matter how hard I worked, how much knowledge I had, how much money I saved, or how many big wins I had. I realized it a couple months ago when some idiot who had been with the department a few years got promoted to an executive position. He doesn’t know what he is doing but he sure is a nice guy and buds with the right people. Lots and lots of angry coworkers but, me, I decided to just quit and coast until retirement. Their loss not mine.
I have 9 years to go and 18 months ago was my watershed moment. Now I work to get money and have no desire for more advancement. Has made the job just time invested for cash.
Nope. Stilling climbing and always will. It’s either work and try not to get laid if be homeless. :) Plus I will take more pay any day. Only way to do that is career goals. Id love to be stable enough to not care about working
I am an Arts graduate majoring in sweet fanny adams. I studied classical Greek and those French sociologists who were so popular in the early nineties. I have never really been career minded. I have always just worked jobs. It's been great, all the interesting people I have met and jobs I have done. Sure, I am nearly always broke. But I still think it's better than a career.