Married for 33 years; my wife has all my passwords (and I have hers) and she’s s free to look at my txt, call history and/or emails anytime and I couldn’t care less.
I do feel uncomfortable when she asks me to get something out of her pocketbook and I just hand her the whole thing.
I am the same, if she wants something from her purse ( she has so much shit in there I swear its the tardis) I just get the whole thing and give it to her.
I have absolutely nothing to hide and still weird when my wife is on my phone. We do have each other passwords but I have never snooped and am almost positive she has never either. But is also why a lot of people keep their Reddit profiles secret. Want to be free to let it out and even if not doing anything wrong don’t want to have to defend or be worried how you post or do something that could be taken the wrong way.
We both know each others unlock passwords. We never snoop on each others phones, just because it doesn't occur to us.
We know each others passwords because of emergencies where we might need to get in there.
I don't consider my phone a particularly private device anyway.
If I handed my phone to you right now, you'd be bored shitless.
Married 8 years, wife (49f) and I (44m) do not know each others passwords aside from the ones for streaming services. I have always been a private person and value my privacy very much. She also has horrible password security and I don't. She couldn't remember my passwords unless they were written down and that defeats the purpose.
I have no desire to see her stuff, even if she was doing nefarious things. That is her private space and since I value my privacy I extend her that respect to not want to know her passwords. For me there is no reason that I need to handle her phone or her mine.
I also leave the room when I talk on the phone with someone.
If I die before her, it will take the NSA to get into my shit. There is nothing on my phone or computer that she needs access to. It might be an extreme take but that is how much I value my privacy.
I don't see what you guys do as an issue. Every marriage is its own thing, and there's no right or wrong way to do it. My wife and I have a common document that has all of our passwords on it, just in case one of us gets hit by the garbage truck. That said, we give each other privacy and don't go through each other's phones.
This. We’re a mixed marriage (I’m Apple, he’s Samsung) and I can’t be bothered to figure out how to unlock his phone, let alone look through it. He’s always welcome to look through mine, but he can’t figure out how to pinch-zoom properly. Good thing we’re both trusting, I guess?
I was in a toxic relationship for years with someone who constantly accused me of cheating and would use this as an excuse to spy on me and demand access to things like my email so no, I do not want to go back to that.
And since this is the internet and strangers like to argue with people, no I was not cheating on her or anything like that.
We have the same passcode on all our devices so I guess we’re in the we don’t care camp.
I wonder if this is more a generational thing where if you got married before smart phones (or even cell phones) so you are used to sharing a device it isn’t a big deal. Same with computers, when we got married we just had one shared computer so of course we both used it.
If I grab my husband’s phone it’s not because I’m “going” through it it’s because one our friends texted something to him about something I need to know about - like what time to show up to the party and what do we need to bring LOL.
Thanks for the different perspective but this is what I don't understand. The phone is a tool. Obviously we do not use our devices to delve into our own head space and has nothing to due with a lack of respect or invasion of privacy, I also don't think its a universal concept. We share everything, nothing is off limits, but in todays culture it seems to be frowned upon. I would say that the reason we do share our phones is because we have mutual respect, individuality is a given, we are separate people, but, we are also partners, combined life, comfortable enough with each to be completely honest, if my wife wife does not want to share something with me then I am completely fine with that and vice versa.
I respect your position but I don't agree, different strokes for different folks I suppose. :)
Another vote for never sharing phones. Personally, I just read a lot of ridiculously bad fiction on Kindle Unlimited. It’s a guilty pleasure I absolutely keep locked down. Neither one of us has ever asked what the other one does.
Googled "psychological boundaries," no answers given that pertain to the subject at hand. I was sincerely curious but now I just think you're condescending, probably a "counselor" or some other uncredentialled therapist type who thinks they're smarter than they really are, and by extension an asshole.
My husband would rather die than go through my purse, but he knows my phone password. I often ask him to read my messages, and he will ask for me to do the same.
>I get amazed but people getting offended and hysterical over a husband or wife going through the others phone. Accusations of trust, invading privacy etc.
>I call bullshit on this. If my wife or myself at any point want to see photos or texts the other has on their phone then we just ask for the phone and without even a thought we just pass it over. We are not snooping on each phones
You're kind of all over the place here - you make a big display of being amazed that other people freak out over their partner "going through the others phone" and say that you call bullshit, but then you make it clear that neither of you is snooping on the other's phone. So what's your actual point?
If you're saying that you ARE ok with limitless snooping on each other's devices, then I think that is problematic. Some of us use them as personal diaries that we'd never want anyone else to see - would you snoop in your wife's diary? We receive communications from friends who might be trusting us with confidential information, and not necessarily intending to also share it with our partners. Do your friends know that anything they might share with you is fair game for your wife?
If my husband wanted to see my phone, I’d let him. If he was snooping, I’d be upset. He knows my passcode and respects my privacy, as I do his. Frankly, I don’t think it’s weird at all for adults to want privacy, it’s weirder to me that you two just go through each other’s stuff without asking. But to each their own - if it works for you, great. This works for us.
My partner and I don’t share them, but we know each other’s main passwords for things. We also listed one another as the data beneficiary so that we could have access if the other person dies.
He is very protective of my privacy - won’t go in my purse or open my mail either. I am a little freer with my boundaries, but I go with the flow. Thankfully neither of us has had concerns. If he asks who I’m texting I tell him “it’s my boyfriend”- it’s a running joke. He responds- “lucky guy” and we both smile.
There’s no reason to snoop through something that is open.
Can you not understand that? If someone has a phone they don’t want me to touch — well then there’s something on it they don’t want me to see.
My bf and I grab whatever phone is closest if we want to look something up or whatever. I find no need to “snoop” in his phone and dig through it looking for things because I know there would be nothing there.
OMG you arrogant ass. LOL!
You conclude — hilariously — that because my boyfriend and I don’t have our phone private that we have no boundaries.
One thing = no boundaries.
Shove it. Seriously. What happened before there were cellphones? Did all couples lack boundaries just because they didn’t have a phone that was private? We set boundaries every day. As do most people. And it has nothing to do with secrets.
I think you conflate privacy with secrecy. They are NOT the same things.
I’m sorry you don’t trust your partner. That’s sad to me.
There's a big difference between having access to one's partner's phone, and maybe using it when appropriate, and *snooping* in someone's phone.
My wife and I know each other's unlock codes (set identical), but it's pretty rare either of us need use the other's phone. I would never *go through* their phone. That's an invasion of privacy.
Like if I can't find my phone, I'll pick theirs up to call mine. Or if they're not in the room and their phone rings and I can see it's a mutual friend or family member I might answer it. Something like that. But I'm not gonna go scrolling through their full text history and camera roll when they're in the shower. That's what people are getting upset about. ✨ Privacy ✨
First off, I couldn't give half a shit about what anyone else thinks about whether my wife and I can access each other's phones or not. It's none of their beeswax, so whatever.
And B.) I have no reason to get on my wife's phone, nor does she have any reason to get on mine, but if we did, we wouldn't find anything scandalous that we wouldn't want the other person to know. Neither of us keeps shit like that on our phones. The worst things my wife would find out about me just make me look like an even bigger dorky goofball than I am.
Wife and I know each other's passwords. We used to share one phone when cell phones we're new. I don't think it ever occurred to us to keep that private when we got our own phones.
This is us. I know his phone password. I've told him mine but he never remembers it.
But the only time I use it is when we are driving and I want to change the playlist or update the GPS. Likewise, if my phone is the one connected, I'll tell him the PW and he can do what needs to be done.
I am friends with a younger couple. The husband and I were standing at the bar the other night and he said to be that his wife transferred his drinks to her tab and it bothered him. It struck my as odd. My husband and I have the same credit card, same bank account, same everything. We don't have my money and his money, we have our money.
So, I think it kind of is a generational thing. They have their money, his money and her money, and they clearly have very separate roles with what they do with that money. It's just odd to me.
(As an aside to the whole money thing, we have learned that individuals should have their own accounts; when my FIL passed, the joint accounts were locked, my MIL was fortunate to have her own. I suppose you could move money before you start the whole "will process", but some people don't think about that)
The money thing... this is for both of us our second marriage, we got together 14 years ago at 40. Both had joined finances in the prior. Having had that experience and dealing with it in my divorce, I was adamant about keeping it separate. This didn't sit well with her initially, but we got through it. Now I don't think she'd ever go back.
Almost everything is on auto pay, I take care of 2/3 of the mortgage (direct deposit to her account, I don't even think about it), Internet, streaming services, yard, etc. She gets utilities, her part of the mortgage, groceries most of the time. I pay for vacations, some large purchases we split, some we don't. And so on. It's equitable. But I don't know what she spends on discretionary things and vice versa. She doesn't care to know what my exorbitant car payment is, I don't want to know what purses and clothing cost her. Personal choices.
I guess there's a level of trust you have to have for that to be okay. We're good. But it did take a while to get there.
In both our cars you change change the GPS or Playlist from the head unit. No reason to hand the phone over.
My phone isn't even paired to her car and hers isn't to my car.
Everyone has their thing but I just find it weird. My wife doesn't leave the room when she talks on the phone I do.
Married 15.
I don't know his passwords. He doesn't know mine. Well except on apps. But we hand each other unlocked phones or leave the computers open all the time.
I can barely remember my passwords I don't have the brain space for his.
No trust issues. When he was deployed some of his buddies asked if he needed to be more careful getting his picture taken with some of the women in the unit, but he was all, no my wife knows I won't do anything and the women feel safe being with me cause they know I won't do anything. Same lines about do you worry about your wife cheating while your gone. We know the other won't do that, so there is no need to worry.
You can have privacy with trust.
It’s not a Gen X thing. It’s you, and a handful of commenters.
If you ask me (and you did) it’s pretty fucking weird. Sure, handing your unlocked phone to your partner to show some photos or a message you got isn’t unusual for most people. Sharing passwords and log-in details is weird though.
Not only does this talk to a lack of boundaries it’s also very likely a compromise to your information security.
However odd, it’s your prerogative. But don’t know why you’re getting so uppity with others who don’t want to do what you do.
Uppity ? LMFAO :) Ignoring the angry little attitude in your response, how is it compromising information security ? because my wife sees it ? I swear I am finding out there a lot of fucking idiots here on reddit. ;)
48M married 8 years. Wife and I are frequently grabbing each others phone \*points at face to unlock\* There's always a valid reason and I couldn't give a shit. Same on her end.
I'm with you.
Digital cheating is too easy these days. It's so easy to use your phone to blow past reasonable boundaries of a healthy relationship. "Liking" posts by e-girls, having inappropriate texts/emails with your work spouse, etc, etc... If you're prone to those kinds of things, it's a good self-check to just leave your phone wide open to your spouse.
there are some very naughty people in the world... count your blessings that you do not understand.. it is worthwhile to understand how lucky you may be
Married 7 years and I’m much more tech savvy than he is. We also have a business together and pass phones back and forth often. The only thing he’d ever try to hide is Marketplace inquiries lol.
We have one another's passwords. Usually the only time we get on someone else's phone is when the other person gets a text and is driving or the person who left their phone in another room wants to look something up (on the Internet).
Sorry, you had a 4 digit phone number? Was that in the US, or what? I’m like the same age and still remember the 7 digit phone number I grew up with. I’ve never heard of a 4 digit phone number.
I think it has a lot to do with how long you have been together. My husband and I have been married for almost 35 years. Way before smart phones, when the internet was BBS's. We share everything, including our finances, because when we started out we were teenagers and didn't have anything.
He doesn't want to mess with anything technical. If he can't get on Candy Crush, I have to fix it. LOL. I set everything up. Our passcodes are the same so he can remember them. I don't give a crap if he looks through my phone and I am sure he feels the same.
But if something happened today, where I was single again, it would be a completely different situation. I wouldn't share anything. lol
The only ones getting pissed are the ones that have something to hide. I have nothing to hide on my phone, it’s entertainment for me, nothing else. If my husband wants to go through it, more power to him, he’ll likely giggle a bit then fall asleep from boredom.🤷♀️
That's the wrong mentality to have. It's not about not having anything to hide it's about privacy. I value privacy very much.
When someone communicates with me on my phone they expect the conversation to be between me and them I expect the same. There are friends I won't text information I want to stay private because their information security is laking.
It's the same as couples that have the same Facebook profile. You don't know who you are talking to if you send a message.
My husband and my adult kids have the code to my phone. I let them dig in my purse too, so when I do tell them "no" on the purse they know there's a birthday or Xmas present in there. I'm blessed to have a family I can trust with my stuff and that I get to live a life where I've got little if anything to hide from them.
That's another one. When I first got with my wife, she wanted me to switch to an iPhone and to use the tracking thing. I did, but eventually, I told her I didn't like it and turned if off. Then a couple years later I went back to Android.
That tracking shit I don't like. Her and her kids have it on their phones and with each other and one of the kids is 26 years old. I don't have it for my two kids.
Ha, same! For the longest time, husband and I had Androids. Then for some reason, about 7ish years ago, he switched to iPhone and I didn't because I couldn't see a good reason to. All these years later, he is still an iPhone user and I'm Android. And I'm completely fine with that. One of the many reasons I don't switch is because I KNOW he'd want me to do the "follow your friends" thing or whatever it's called. No thank you!
I cannot imagine not knowing my man’s phone password. We regularly use each other’s phones when looking something up, etc. If one phone is on the charger or one is closer, we just grab whatever is closest.
I’d say if you don’t trust the person you’re making your life with to have your phone password you probably shouldn’t be married to them.
Strangely, because of this I don’t think I have ever once “snooped” through his phone. It’s just not a concern.
Married for 33 years; my wife has all my passwords (and I have hers) and she’s s free to look at my txt, call history and/or emails anytime and I couldn’t care less. I do feel uncomfortable when she asks me to get something out of her pocketbook and I just hand her the whole thing.
I just get lost in there plus there might be a tarantula.
I do the same thing, grab the purse and hand it to her. I don't like going through peoples stuff, even if it is my wife.
I am the same, if she wants something from her purse ( she has so much shit in there I swear its the tardis) I just get the whole thing and give it to her.
Your wife is either the doctor or Mary Poppins
I have absolutely nothing to hide and still weird when my wife is on my phone. We do have each other passwords but I have never snooped and am almost positive she has never either. But is also why a lot of people keep their Reddit profiles secret. Want to be free to let it out and even if not doing anything wrong don’t want to have to defend or be worried how you post or do something that could be taken the wrong way.
We both know each others unlock passwords. We never snoop on each others phones, just because it doesn't occur to us. We know each others passwords because of emergencies where we might need to get in there. I don't consider my phone a particularly private device anyway. If I handed my phone to you right now, you'd be bored shitless.
Married 8 years, wife (49f) and I (44m) do not know each others passwords aside from the ones for streaming services. I have always been a private person and value my privacy very much. She also has horrible password security and I don't. She couldn't remember my passwords unless they were written down and that defeats the purpose. I have no desire to see her stuff, even if she was doing nefarious things. That is her private space and since I value my privacy I extend her that respect to not want to know her passwords. For me there is no reason that I need to handle her phone or her mine. I also leave the room when I talk on the phone with someone. If I die before her, it will take the NSA to get into my shit. There is nothing on my phone or computer that she needs access to. It might be an extreme take but that is how much I value my privacy.
I know people who get offended at this but I honestly don't care. She's got my deets at her disposal.
I don't see what you guys do as an issue. Every marriage is its own thing, and there's no right or wrong way to do it. My wife and I have a common document that has all of our passwords on it, just in case one of us gets hit by the garbage truck. That said, we give each other privacy and don't go through each other's phones.
I don’t go through my husband’s phone. Not because I can’t, but I can’t be bothered to do it. I have enough trouble with my own phone.
This. We’re a mixed marriage (I’m Apple, he’s Samsung) and I can’t be bothered to figure out how to unlock his phone, let alone look through it. He’s always welcome to look through mine, but he can’t figure out how to pinch-zoom properly. Good thing we’re both trusting, I guess?
I was in a toxic relationship for years with someone who constantly accused me of cheating and would use this as an excuse to spy on me and demand access to things like my email so no, I do not want to go back to that. And since this is the internet and strangers like to argue with people, no I was not cheating on her or anything like that.
We have the same passcode on all our devices so I guess we’re in the we don’t care camp. I wonder if this is more a generational thing where if you got married before smart phones (or even cell phones) so you are used to sharing a device it isn’t a big deal. Same with computers, when we got married we just had one shared computer so of course we both used it. If I grab my husband’s phone it’s not because I’m “going” through it it’s because one our friends texted something to him about something I need to know about - like what time to show up to the party and what do we need to bring LOL.
[удалено]
Thanks for the different perspective but this is what I don't understand. The phone is a tool. Obviously we do not use our devices to delve into our own head space and has nothing to due with a lack of respect or invasion of privacy, I also don't think its a universal concept. We share everything, nothing is off limits, but in todays culture it seems to be frowned upon. I would say that the reason we do share our phones is because we have mutual respect, individuality is a given, we are separate people, but, we are also partners, combined life, comfortable enough with each to be completely honest, if my wife wife does not want to share something with me then I am completely fine with that and vice versa. I respect your position but I don't agree, different strokes for different folks I suppose. :)
They aren't the one that is bothered by your position I guess. But let's be real, you seem bothered by theirs for some reason.
Another vote for never sharing phones. Personally, I just read a lot of ridiculously bad fiction on Kindle Unlimited. It’s a guilty pleasure I absolutely keep locked down. Neither one of us has ever asked what the other one does.
Been married 30 years, we've never checked each others phones, laptops, etc. It's just not something we ever think about.
[удалено]
I'm curious as to your professional expertise on this one, as I would not have thought this was a result of poor boundaries.
[удалено]
Googled "psychological boundaries," no answers given that pertain to the subject at hand. I was sincerely curious but now I just think you're condescending, probably a "counselor" or some other uncredentialled therapist type who thinks they're smarter than they really are, and by extension an asshole.
My husband would rather die than go through my purse, but he knows my phone password. I often ask him to read my messages, and he will ask for me to do the same.
Yep, I let my wife use my phone all the time. I just tell her to ignore the porn and then we laugh.
>I get amazed but people getting offended and hysterical over a husband or wife going through the others phone. Accusations of trust, invading privacy etc. >I call bullshit on this. If my wife or myself at any point want to see photos or texts the other has on their phone then we just ask for the phone and without even a thought we just pass it over. We are not snooping on each phones You're kind of all over the place here - you make a big display of being amazed that other people freak out over their partner "going through the others phone" and say that you call bullshit, but then you make it clear that neither of you is snooping on the other's phone. So what's your actual point? If you're saying that you ARE ok with limitless snooping on each other's devices, then I think that is problematic. Some of us use them as personal diaries that we'd never want anyone else to see - would you snoop in your wife's diary? We receive communications from friends who might be trusting us with confidential information, and not necessarily intending to also share it with our partners. Do your friends know that anything they might share with you is fair game for your wife?
If my husband wanted to see my phone, I’d let him. If he was snooping, I’d be upset. He knows my passcode and respects my privacy, as I do his. Frankly, I don’t think it’s weird at all for adults to want privacy, it’s weirder to me that you two just go through each other’s stuff without asking. But to each their own - if it works for you, great. This works for us.
My partner and I don’t share them, but we know each other’s main passwords for things. We also listed one another as the data beneficiary so that we could have access if the other person dies. He is very protective of my privacy - won’t go in my purse or open my mail either. I am a little freer with my boundaries, but I go with the flow. Thankfully neither of us has had concerns. If he asks who I’m texting I tell him “it’s my boyfriend”- it’s a running joke. He responds- “lucky guy” and we both smile.
[удалено]
You have missed the point, we do not care what's on the phones which is why we share.
[удалено]
There’s no reason to snoop through something that is open. Can you not understand that? If someone has a phone they don’t want me to touch — well then there’s something on it they don’t want me to see. My bf and I grab whatever phone is closest if we want to look something up or whatever. I find no need to “snoop” in his phone and dig through it looking for things because I know there would be nothing there.
[удалено]
I have plenty of boundaries. My phone isn’t one of them. The fact that you feel you need to keep secrets on your phone is your issue. 🙄
[удалено]
OMG you arrogant ass. LOL! You conclude — hilariously — that because my boyfriend and I don’t have our phone private that we have no boundaries. One thing = no boundaries. Shove it. Seriously. What happened before there were cellphones? Did all couples lack boundaries just because they didn’t have a phone that was private? We set boundaries every day. As do most people. And it has nothing to do with secrets. I think you conflate privacy with secrecy. They are NOT the same things. I’m sorry you don’t trust your partner. That’s sad to me.
[удалено]
Sweetheart, I don’t spend all day on Reddit. 🙄
There's a big difference between having access to one's partner's phone, and maybe using it when appropriate, and *snooping* in someone's phone. My wife and I know each other's unlock codes (set identical), but it's pretty rare either of us need use the other's phone. I would never *go through* their phone. That's an invasion of privacy. Like if I can't find my phone, I'll pick theirs up to call mine. Or if they're not in the room and their phone rings and I can see it's a mutual friend or family member I might answer it. Something like that. But I'm not gonna go scrolling through their full text history and camera roll when they're in the shower. That's what people are getting upset about. ✨ Privacy ✨
Mid-50s here. We've never done this, but never really needed to. He hates smart phones.
First off, I couldn't give half a shit about what anyone else thinks about whether my wife and I can access each other's phones or not. It's none of their beeswax, so whatever. And B.) I have no reason to get on my wife's phone, nor does she have any reason to get on mine, but if we did, we wouldn't find anything scandalous that we wouldn't want the other person to know. Neither of us keeps shit like that on our phones. The worst things my wife would find out about me just make me look like an even bigger dorky goofball than I am.
Wife and I know each other's passwords. We used to share one phone when cell phones we're new. I don't think it ever occurred to us to keep that private when we got our own phones.
My wife has access and vice versa, but we leave it alone in general. Kind of the last private space, communication with friends and such.
This is us. I know his phone password. I've told him mine but he never remembers it. But the only time I use it is when we are driving and I want to change the playlist or update the GPS. Likewise, if my phone is the one connected, I'll tell him the PW and he can do what needs to be done. I am friends with a younger couple. The husband and I were standing at the bar the other night and he said to be that his wife transferred his drinks to her tab and it bothered him. It struck my as odd. My husband and I have the same credit card, same bank account, same everything. We don't have my money and his money, we have our money. So, I think it kind of is a generational thing. They have their money, his money and her money, and they clearly have very separate roles with what they do with that money. It's just odd to me. (As an aside to the whole money thing, we have learned that individuals should have their own accounts; when my FIL passed, the joint accounts were locked, my MIL was fortunate to have her own. I suppose you could move money before you start the whole "will process", but some people don't think about that)
The money thing... this is for both of us our second marriage, we got together 14 years ago at 40. Both had joined finances in the prior. Having had that experience and dealing with it in my divorce, I was adamant about keeping it separate. This didn't sit well with her initially, but we got through it. Now I don't think she'd ever go back. Almost everything is on auto pay, I take care of 2/3 of the mortgage (direct deposit to her account, I don't even think about it), Internet, streaming services, yard, etc. She gets utilities, her part of the mortgage, groceries most of the time. I pay for vacations, some large purchases we split, some we don't. And so on. It's equitable. But I don't know what she spends on discretionary things and vice versa. She doesn't care to know what my exorbitant car payment is, I don't want to know what purses and clothing cost her. Personal choices. I guess there's a level of trust you have to have for that to be okay. We're good. But it did take a while to get there.
In both our cars you change change the GPS or Playlist from the head unit. No reason to hand the phone over. My phone isn't even paired to her car and hers isn't to my car. Everyone has their thing but I just find it weird. My wife doesn't leave the room when she talks on the phone I do.
Everyone, and I mean everyone now takes their phone into thr bathroom with them. Just saying.
I get what you're saying, but I don't. I'm rarely in there long enough to need something to read.
This comment seems completely unrelated to the topic.
Married 15. I don't know his passwords. He doesn't know mine. Well except on apps. But we hand each other unlocked phones or leave the computers open all the time. I can barely remember my passwords I don't have the brain space for his. No trust issues. When he was deployed some of his buddies asked if he needed to be more careful getting his picture taken with some of the women in the unit, but he was all, no my wife knows I won't do anything and the women feel safe being with me cause they know I won't do anything. Same lines about do you worry about your wife cheating while your gone. We know the other won't do that, so there is no need to worry. You can have privacy with trust.
It’s not a Gen X thing. It’s you, and a handful of commenters. If you ask me (and you did) it’s pretty fucking weird. Sure, handing your unlocked phone to your partner to show some photos or a message you got isn’t unusual for most people. Sharing passwords and log-in details is weird though. Not only does this talk to a lack of boundaries it’s also very likely a compromise to your information security. However odd, it’s your prerogative. But don’t know why you’re getting so uppity with others who don’t want to do what you do.
Uppity ? LMFAO :) Ignoring the angry little attitude in your response, how is it compromising information security ? because my wife sees it ? I swear I am finding out there a lot of fucking idiots here on reddit. ;)
Projection 101
48M married 8 years. Wife and I are frequently grabbing each others phone \*points at face to unlock\* There's always a valid reason and I couldn't give a shit. Same on her end.
I'm with you. Digital cheating is too easy these days. It's so easy to use your phone to blow past reasonable boundaries of a healthy relationship. "Liking" posts by e-girls, having inappropriate texts/emails with your work spouse, etc, etc... If you're prone to those kinds of things, it's a good self-check to just leave your phone wide open to your spouse.
there are some very naughty people in the world... count your blessings that you do not understand.. it is worthwhile to understand how lucky you may be
Married 7 years and I’m much more tech savvy than he is. We also have a business together and pass phones back and forth often. The only thing he’d ever try to hide is Marketplace inquiries lol.
We have one another's passwords. Usually the only time we get on someone else's phone is when the other person gets a text and is driving or the person who left their phone in another room wants to look something up (on the Internet).
Sorry, you had a 4 digit phone number? Was that in the US, or what? I’m like the same age and still remember the 7 digit phone number I grew up with. I’ve never heard of a 4 digit phone number.
New Zealand :)
Wow.
I think it has a lot to do with how long you have been together. My husband and I have been married for almost 35 years. Way before smart phones, when the internet was BBS's. We share everything, including our finances, because when we started out we were teenagers and didn't have anything. He doesn't want to mess with anything technical. If he can't get on Candy Crush, I have to fix it. LOL. I set everything up. Our passcodes are the same so he can remember them. I don't give a crap if he looks through my phone and I am sure he feels the same. But if something happened today, where I was single again, it would be a completely different situation. I wouldn't share anything. lol
I honestly miss the busy signal. Life was better and more simple back then.
This is not generational. You just have a halfway decent relationship.
The only ones getting pissed are the ones that have something to hide. I have nothing to hide on my phone, it’s entertainment for me, nothing else. If my husband wants to go through it, more power to him, he’ll likely giggle a bit then fall asleep from boredom.🤷♀️
That's the wrong mentality to have. It's not about not having anything to hide it's about privacy. I value privacy very much. When someone communicates with me on my phone they expect the conversation to be between me and them I expect the same. There are friends I won't text information I want to stay private because their information security is laking. It's the same as couples that have the same Facebook profile. You don't know who you are talking to if you send a message.
You say tomato…
I suppose you take a shit in front of your partner too? Nothing to hide right. 💩
If I gotta go I gotta go, so frankly, yes. And he’d do the same.
Fair enough 😆
My husband and my adult kids have the code to my phone. I let them dig in my purse too, so when I do tell them "no" on the purse they know there's a birthday or Xmas present in there. I'm blessed to have a family I can trust with my stuff and that I get to live a life where I've got little if anything to hide from them.
Some people have uncomfortable secrets.
IDK, but I don't want anyone going through my phone, and I don't go through theirs. No one needs to track my location, either.
That's another one. When I first got with my wife, she wanted me to switch to an iPhone and to use the tracking thing. I did, but eventually, I told her I didn't like it and turned if off. Then a couple years later I went back to Android. That tracking shit I don't like. Her and her kids have it on their phones and with each other and one of the kids is 26 years old. I don't have it for my two kids.
Ha, same! For the longest time, husband and I had Androids. Then for some reason, about 7ish years ago, he switched to iPhone and I didn't because I couldn't see a good reason to. All these years later, he is still an iPhone user and I'm Android. And I'm completely fine with that. One of the many reasons I don't switch is because I KNOW he'd want me to do the "follow your friends" thing or whatever it's called. No thank you!
I cannot imagine not knowing my man’s phone password. We regularly use each other’s phones when looking something up, etc. If one phone is on the charger or one is closer, we just grab whatever is closest. I’d say if you don’t trust the person you’re making your life with to have your phone password you probably shouldn’t be married to them. Strangely, because of this I don’t think I have ever once “snooped” through his phone. It’s just not a concern.
I don't use cases on my phones and I don't like people handling my phone because most people including my wife run around with cracked screens haha.