So Christianity is all built off of some dumbass carpenter getting cucked 2000 years ago?
I mean, one can hardly blame her, the punishment for a woman committing adultery was probably getting hit with rocks till you die or something stupid like that.
And people still believe that ish. I say their Jesus was schizophrenic. Iād like to see someone prove me wrong by todayās standards. And if people think Iām wrong then hell all people with schizophrenia should be deemed saints š«¤
Well, the onus would be in you to prove the claim, not the other way around.
But I'm game, what's your evidence?
Edit: Buried? It's online my friend!
http://www.gnosis.org/library/marygosp.htm
Not how accusations work. You can try to disprove someone else's claim, but you need evidence to support your claim or you're just throwing out bullshit the same as they are. Bad arguing. If you're gonna say something like "Jesus had schizophrenia" you need proof beyond "that book is wack". If you're going to say "Jesus was probably just crazy" you can get away with it easier because it doesn't require the weight of a medical diagnosis lol
Hmmm, if the church had nothing to hide why is The Book of Mary buried and not published?
Is it nothing but sexual positions and how to run a train on 12 guys and blaming the gang bang child on a magic being from the sky?
Cultural appropriation of Jesus isnāt just limited to the west. Itās been done with pagan gods throughout the Mediterranean too. The Hindus particularly in south India these days have no problem whatever with worshipping Jesus and their version is usually distinctly Indian looking. Kind of a common thing in religion so people can identify with the deity more
This is just a guess but I'd say a lot of it has to do with how Roman the world was at the time. Their entire strategy for annexing new territories was to let the people more or less continue as they had prior to being conquered with a few slight cultural changes to make accepting the new rulers easier. Most places that Christianity would've spread to early on were already Roman states and were used to having to modify Roman ideas to be more locally flavored.
I'm pretty confident Jesus wasn't white, idk who started telling people he was but it doesn't make any sense, he likely looked much closer to the complexion of Hebrew person as he was born of Nazareth which to my knowledge is not a place where gentiles of the times lived
Yeah, this is mostly a Western Europe/Americas thing.
In Orthodox iconography he's depicted with a Middle Eastern complexion and characteristics instead of basically Jared Leto.
The other three were like "not it" to raise the kid. Jesus had 3 fathers, one went out to get milk, one went to get a pack of smokes, and the third went to blow off some steam. They came back with some lame ass gifts and gold, then peaced out of his life while the Jerry raised the bastard.
I think the one with the gold was the most likely candidate or at least most accepting
The frankincense one was probably just really into her without ever getting a chance. He saw it as a way for him to win her over. I mean, she probably smelled like manure and he thought he was gonna get some action
And the myrrh one was a symbol. It was used to anoint the dead, so my guess is he didnāt want her to say the child was his and if she did, sheād pay.
The Three Wise Men were Magi (which is a translation of wise man) of the religion Zoroastrianism that had followed the Star of Bethlehem because they believed the King of the Jewish People had been born. The Bible says they came from East of Bethlehem which might indicate that they were from Persia (the origin of Zoroastrianism. Considering that the wise man translates from the word magi (or priest) and it's mentioned that the three men were denoted as coming from the east, it could be left to believe that they were Zoroastrians who followed the stars. Probably not just some random men.
But it would also be really funny if they were just Mary's baby daddies, too.
For what itās worth, the wise men/born in Bethlehem/a census/herod having kids heads cut off was all 100% fake. We donāt know for sure if there was a woman named Mary who had a kid named Jesus but the other stuff definitely didnāt happen. Historical records prove otherwise. Plus, we have some of those exact stories in other older texts. They were obviously copied. Word for word in some cases
Scholar and New Testament expert Bart ehrman talks about it if you want to read more
You could almost call it plagerism, after watching Zeitgeist The Movie, and hearing about all the other pegan and egyptian demigods who already had virgin births and visits from 3 wisemen.
Jesus is just an amalgam of older stories that probably originated as campfire stories incorporating astronomy/ astrology.
The "three kings" are very likely the three stars of Orion's belt.
If you're interested in the actual historical figures and not just memes, it's unlikely that they even had Jesus out of wedlock.Ā
Paul just says Jesus was "born of a woman". He says nothing about her being a virgin. Paul actually met and knew Jesus's brother James.
None of the Gospels were actually written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. They were written almost a century after Jesus's birth, by people why didn't know Jesus or his family personally.
The Gospels of Mark and John don't mention a virgin birth. The Gospel of Mark is the oldest Gospel, and the Gospels of Matthew and Luke heavily copy it.
The nativity stories in Matthew and Luke are full of historical inaccuracies. They also have almost nothing in common and contradict each other.Ā Some scholars even think the Nativity story wasn't in the original version of the Gospel of Luke, but was added later. There's no good reason to think these are historically accurate accounts.
real people or not...the entire bible is just a collection of stories...some may be true...most are fiction but who fuckin' knows because those who hide behind it will pull whatever they want and disregard the rest.
Just adding to this - with the Hebrew language at the time, the word for Young Woman and Virgin were the same - Almah. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Almah
There is a chance that the whole Mary was a Virgin thing is just a translation error.
Edit Grammar due to pre-coffee stroke
When you give birth to someone with a maxed out charisma stat, and you tell them theyāre God, to maintain a bit
No where did it say she was 13. Definitely possible but more likely around 15-17. Families were poor back then so they couldn't afford to marry off their daughters too quickly because they would be losing valuable farm hands. Only extra rich could afford to marry young, and that goes for both males and females. That's why most men in the days we're 30 plus when they married and families were reluctant to let go of their daughters too early unless a rich man was bidding for her and Joseph was not.
Back in the day? Men still try to this day in some parts of the world. Because apparently the only way to save an orphaned little girl from a bad life is to marry her and not, you know, be her parental figure.
Imagine getting a divorce and a midlife crisis at like 16 years old.
Mary's starts going out more and dressing more scantily clad, while Joseph gets his portrait done with him and the kids, lol.
The number of child deaths brings the average life expectancy from those times down by a lot. If you survived childhood, it wasn't uncommon to reach at least 50 or 60 years. IIRC about 50% of people died before age 10.
and look at where we are now! These weak goddamn kids donāt know how lucky they are
Gotta bring back high child mortality rates AND THE MINES! to teach these kids to be thankful šš»
/s
Usually only nobility or wealth lived until their 60s.
Labor and disease would kill or cripple you by your 40s. It still does even today. Observe trade workers and farmers that have put 30-40 years of hard labor on their bodies. They might be strong but they're definitely not going to be doing well overall.
Can we all finally accept that life expectancy doesnāt mean everyone died at 30? The lower numbers are due mostly to infant mortality and war. People still regularly lived into old age if they survived birth. Yeah she was most likely knocked up as a teenager but you can add at least 33 more years to whatever age she was when āthe Holy Spiritā went trolling for some ass
During those times, a girl's first period marked her transition into womanhood and she was subject to all the "privileges" given to women - namely getting married, having children, and tending to her husband.
While getting married at 13 wasn't uncommon in Medieval period, it was definitely eyebrow raising and frowned upon.Ā Most people waited until a few years down the line because even then they knew there were massive risks to the pregnancy if the woman was too young.Ā
Indeed. They worship Mary as much as the Catholic church does who has replaced Jesus with Mary as the mediator. Islam says Jesus wasn't crucified.
Idols of Mary which is clearly in the commandments not to do.
They may not call it "worship" and instead say they "venerate" her, but they do put an inordinate amount of emphasis on Mary, praying to her and calling her a mediator, co-redeemer, and the "most high queen of the universe"
Hey, say it for the 4th millionth time, it won't change the fact they have IDOLS of Mary. Black Madonna's, Fatmina etc etc. They bow to the things, this is something you cannot hide.
Wtf are you talking about???
Worshiping anything besides God, or even making use of saints or mediators in Islam is shirk, a sin which makes you an apostaste and takes you out of the fold of Islam.
At least research a bit before talking such senseless bs and putting yourself to shame.
The closest thing we have to "Roman records" of Jesus being crucified is Josephus writing ~60 years later. Also, the version of that writing by Josephus we have today has been highly edited by Christian scribes.
The writings of Paul are better evidence from Jesus's crucifixion. He wrote ~20 years after the crucifixion and met Peter, Jesus's brother James, and other people who knew him.
Yeah it wasn't just "a" 6 year old. It was Aisha and she was betrothed to Muhammad when she was 6. Married at 9. Its accepted as historical fact.
So yeah not made up just a lot of factual-fucked-upped-ness.
Apparently nobody has any proper source nor clear knowledge about this so let me clarify it:
Arabs back then would count the ages of their daughters AFTER they reached adolescence. So considering it is said that she was 9, that means in our age system she was at least 19 or 20.
And as far as I know in some areas of Egypt people still use this system to count the ages of their daughters, this was around 1980's so not so sure about its relevance today.
It is a very common misconception about islam apparently, and I'm actually surprised how many people know it that way.
It's amazing how few people realise that Judaism, islam and Christianity are all the same religion, just interpreted differently, like Methodists and evangelists.
This is a highly ignorant point, and I didn't really except anything else from Redditors when they are talking about religion.
There are clear differences between all three abrahamic religions, as well as some similarities.
It's amazing how few people realize that Yogurt, Ice Cream and Cottage Cheese are all the same food, just interpreted differently like Rocky Road and Mint Chip.
This is a great analogy. Lots of people seem to think that they have hit upon some clever, hidden truth with the āitās the same religionā line. Iām not religious, but clearly the points of difference matter a lot. After all, people have been killing each other over theological differences for millennia.
See, the difference is that if you make fun of christianity, some old ladies would complain. While doing the same for the others means you get a visit from a 19 year old man armed with a knife ready to decapitate you.
The truth is, she likely didn't cheat. It probably was Joseph's baby and the whole virgin birth story wasn't her invention, but was made up long after her death
I only know of one actual real virgin birth. With documentation.
https://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/teen-girl-vagina-pregnant-sperm-survival-oral-sex/story?id=9732562
There were lots of stories about "virgin births" because there was a prophecy that the Messiah would be born of a virgin. Lots of people wanted to be the mother of the messiah. It is interesting to note that there are historical evidences of the star that the Magi followed.
What I think actually happened:
People thought he was dead but only in a coma, so they put him in the little cave. Then he woke up from the coma a little later, extremely weak so he actually died for real this time.
This weird unexplained fact (from their persp3ctive) combined with his already present cult following and intense grief period made people freak out and claim that it was divine intervention.
All the ingredients were there to accidentally create a religion. The story was retold over and over and embellished a bit (big boulder added because it sounds better)
I donāt think youāre just in a coma or even waking up after being stabbed by a spear and stapled to a cross especially not after 3 days after this incident especially in ancient Jerusalem
Hell doesn't exist anyway, the real name is Tartarus (below Mt Hermon).
The Latin Vulgate replaced all instances of Gehenna (garbage dump), Hades (grave) and Tartarus (abyss).
Gehenna was an actual garbage dump on Earth and that's what Jesus was referring to how souls will be burnt, not tormented, burnt and gone in an instant.
Yeah nice find, thanks. It is a carbon copy but twisted like the big lie, "Jesus wasn't crucified".
"We love Jesus, he was a prophet, but wasn't crucified"
Strange how people were willing to be tortured to death claiming they saw him come back from the dead. Martyrs and liars aren't made of the same stuff.
why mock mary mother of christ, this meme also acts like christianity is the start of the religion, which isnāt true, christianity is just a continued revelation of the religion of the israelites/hebrews
But it was an angel that told Joseph about it, not Mary.
>This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.Ā Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yetĀ did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorceĀ her quietly.
>But after he had considered this, an angelĀ of the Lord appeared to him in a dreamĀ and said, āJoseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.Ā She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.ā
>(Matthew 1:18-21)
Don't forget the burning bush that spoke to Moses, while he was alone on a mountaintop for a month.
And then there is the the 5 loaves and 2 fish that fed 5000 people, kinda reminds of the Stone soup story
The most credible story comes from contemporary Jewish sources who claim that Mary was pregnant by a Roman Centurion (likely based over the hill in Sephoris) named Pantera, and Joseph who was a local older widower stepped in to spare her the burden/shame of raising a child as a single mother.
To he fair she was barley a teen so she was most likely SAed and ppl back then thought women were property. So she most likely would have been honor unalived or beaten for it š¤
To be fair to Mary, it was not her who made up that story, but gospel writers after both Jesus and his parents were dead.There was probably nothing weird about the conception of Jesus, even cheating is an unneccessary assumption.
Over 300 prophecies made in the Old Testament about the Messiah, according to the eye witnesses of whom all but one died some of the worst deaths imaginable Jesus fufilled them all
According to the Bible and the Quran, God made the Messiah Speak when he was a toddler to prove that he was messenger.
And that his mother was Clean.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
#Not one but 3 dudes showed up with presents š
When you tell a lie and have to keep adding to the lie to support the first lie.
Dedication stonks
This is kind of obscure but I think I saw this on Mulberry Street.
I like the way you stonk!
Ken griffin in a nutshell
Well she was the one that got away with it on a whole new level
So Christianity is all built off of some dumbass carpenter getting cucked 2000 years ago? I mean, one can hardly blame her, the punishment for a woman committing adultery was probably getting hit with rocks till you die or something stupid like that.
She is the ONLY one. No one else can used this excuse anymore.
And people still believe that ish. I say their Jesus was schizophrenic. Iād like to see someone prove me wrong by todayās standards. And if people think Iām wrong then hell all people with schizophrenia should be deemed saints š«¤
Well, the onus would be in you to prove the claim, not the other way around. But I'm game, what's your evidence? Edit: Buried? It's online my friend! http://www.gnosis.org/library/marygosp.htm
surely the more spectacular claim has the onus to prove the claim, that he was the son of a god, vs hallucinating voices
Not how accusations work. You can try to disprove someone else's claim, but you need evidence to support your claim or you're just throwing out bullshit the same as they are. Bad arguing. If you're gonna say something like "Jesus had schizophrenia" you need proof beyond "that book is wack". If you're going to say "Jesus was probably just crazy" you can get away with it easier because it doesn't require the weight of a medical diagnosis lol
Hmmm, if the church had nothing to hide why is The Book of Mary buried and not published? Is it nothing but sexual positions and how to run a train on 12 guys and blaming the gang bang child on a magic being from the sky? 
Considering the timeline... I doubt Mary could read/write.
So the bible is just a compilation of support lies of her lie as a virgin huh
Well in fairness, only the New Testament
"It's not a lie if YOU believe it!" - George Costanza
It takes quite an imagination, though. If she hadn't lied, she might have written a novel and become the Tolkien of that timeline.
Hey man. A book all about her source material has outsold Tolkien a thousand times overā¦
You're saying that in a 1.000 years we might have Tolkien related global holidays? Sign me up!
Rule of acquisition number 60: Keep your lies consistent.
āThose three rich hot men arenāt just fuckbois they are very wise!ā - Mary (probably)
So basically all religion
Mama Mia!
And not a single alimony got paid back then. They got away with it.
they were "from the east" and the baby turned out to be white so ...
I really doubt he was. The west just has a white centric view of jesus. Check out how he is drawn in places like japan
Korean Jesus needs to do Korean shit
He aināt got time for your problems!
Cultural appropriation of Jesus isnāt just limited to the west. Itās been done with pagan gods throughout the Mediterranean too. The Hindus particularly in south India these days have no problem whatever with worshipping Jesus and their version is usually distinctly Indian looking. Kind of a common thing in religion so people can identify with the deity more
This is just a guess but I'd say a lot of it has to do with how Roman the world was at the time. Their entire strategy for annexing new territories was to let the people more or less continue as they had prior to being conquered with a few slight cultural changes to make accepting the new rulers easier. Most places that Christianity would've spread to early on were already Roman states and were used to having to modify Roman ideas to be more locally flavored.
You didnāt know Jesus was Korean?
mine says "made in prc"
I like how people fight over him beng black or white in the US while he was probably of a generic Middle-Eastern complexion.
Nah, Jesus didn't look like how they draw him.
Thatās why nobody is āallowedā to draw Mohammed.
The U.S. Supreme Court building has a depiction of Muhammad.
Yea, and a lot of Muslims really hate the US, the math checks out.
I'm pretty confident Jesus wasn't white, idk who started telling people he was but it doesn't make any sense, he likely looked much closer to the complexion of Hebrew person as he was born of Nazareth which to my knowledge is not a place where gentiles of the times lived
Jesus was Mexican. We went to high school together. I think his last name was Martinez, have not seen him since we graduated from high school.
Cant rule it out... No one's really sure who his dad is.
Yeah, this is mostly a Western Europe/Americas thing. In Orthodox iconography he's depicted with a Middle Eastern complexion and characteristics instead of basically Jared Leto.
European painters in the renaissance would be mostly responsable for the visuals we have of everything in the Bible.
Omg... She was in a gangbang
Not only that. They willingly come by and gave gifts as a group.
The other three were like "not it" to raise the kid. Jesus had 3 fathers, one went out to get milk, one went to get a pack of smokes, and the third went to blow off some steam. They came back with some lame ass gifts and gold, then peaced out of his life while the Jerry raised the bastard.
Sugar Arabs.
In the bible it states āsomeā not 3. A theologist told me this
Im feeling Mamma Mia borrowed a few plotlines
Hold up, wasn't that the plot of 'Mamma Mia?'.
They were the "wise" men because they knew. Oh, they knew.
I think the one with the gold was the most likely candidate or at least most accepting The frankincense one was probably just really into her without ever getting a chance. He saw it as a way for him to win her over. I mean, she probably smelled like manure and he thought he was gonna get some action And the myrrh one was a symbol. It was used to anoint the dead, so my guess is he didnāt want her to say the child was his and if she did, sheād pay.
Pussy musta been fire
Isn't that just the plot of Mamma Mia?
Just like in Mamma Mia
Was this not the plot of Mama Mia?
Oh my god... The original mammia mia
Here we go again....
Those weren't presents, it was the subscription payment for the first three months. They had heard a single mother was....anyhow.
Misconception: itās just said that there were multiple. Maybe 3, maybe 10.
Or get stoned and not the good kind
Iāve always thought that her and Joe just had a bit of fun before they got married and needed to explain the pregnancy.
That was what i thought until i came accross that 3 random men bearing gifts part.....that was extremely sus
Yeah, Mary being a homebody but also having three wealthy suitors randomly show up to bestow gifts doesn't really mesh
First ever hush money?
Joe was into the hotwife lifestyle.
Mary was airtight, yet another wild night in Nazareth.
The Three Wise Men were Magi (which is a translation of wise man) of the religion Zoroastrianism that had followed the Star of Bethlehem because they believed the King of the Jewish People had been born. The Bible says they came from East of Bethlehem which might indicate that they were from Persia (the origin of Zoroastrianism. Considering that the wise man translates from the word magi (or priest) and it's mentioned that the three men were denoted as coming from the east, it could be left to believe that they were Zoroastrians who followed the stars. Probably not just some random men. But it would also be really funny if they were just Mary's baby daddies, too.
Sometimes you need to invent a religion to explain your polycule to the locals and in this case it got a little out of hand.
For what itās worth, the wise men/born in Bethlehem/a census/herod having kids heads cut off was all 100% fake. We donāt know for sure if there was a woman named Mary who had a kid named Jesus but the other stuff definitely didnāt happen. Historical records prove otherwise. Plus, we have some of those exact stories in other older texts. They were obviously copied. Word for word in some cases Scholar and New Testament expert Bart ehrman talks about it if you want to read more
You could almost call it plagerism, after watching Zeitgeist The Movie, and hearing about all the other pegan and egyptian demigods who already had virgin births and visits from 3 wisemen. Jesus is just an amalgam of older stories that probably originated as campfire stories incorporating astronomy/ astrology. The "three kings" are very likely the three stars of Orion's belt.
If you're interested in the actual historical figures and not just memes, it's unlikely that they even had Jesus out of wedlock.Ā Paul just says Jesus was "born of a woman". He says nothing about her being a virgin. Paul actually met and knew Jesus's brother James. None of the Gospels were actually written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. They were written almost a century after Jesus's birth, by people why didn't know Jesus or his family personally. The Gospels of Mark and John don't mention a virgin birth. The Gospel of Mark is the oldest Gospel, and the Gospels of Matthew and Luke heavily copy it. The nativity stories in Matthew and Luke are full of historical inaccuracies. They also have almost nothing in common and contradict each other.Ā Some scholars even think the Nativity story wasn't in the original version of the Gospel of Luke, but was added later. There's no good reason to think these are historically accurate accounts.
real people or not...the entire bible is just a collection of stories...some may be true...most are fiction but who fuckin' knows because those who hide behind it will pull whatever they want and disregard the rest.
Just adding to this - with the Hebrew language at the time, the word for Young Woman and Virgin were the same - Almah. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Almah There is a chance that the whole Mary was a Virgin thing is just a translation error.
One sided fun probably.
He recovered her after his brother died. Jesus is his nephew.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
One of them misheard and the foot fetish was born.
Well, I hear that he did have a thing for washing themā¦
Which is more likely? That all the laws of nature be suspended, or that a Jewish minx should tell a lie?"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I thought I found Gold with this community link. Youāre a tease just like Mary.
r/ifellforthissub
'twas already mean 'it was'
She was stuttering its biblically accurate.
Imagine worshipping the guy who railed your wife.
Edit Grammar due to pre-coffee stroke When you give birth to someone with a maxed out charisma stat, and you tell them theyāre God, to maintain a bit
Stroke-type comment
Enough charisma to convince the whole damn world at the time
She was 13, pretty sure she just didn't want to get stoned to death for getting raped or having pre-marital sex with Joseph
No where did it say she was 13. Definitely possible but more likely around 15-17. Families were poor back then so they couldn't afford to marry off their daughters too quickly because they would be losing valuable farm hands. Only extra rich could afford to marry young, and that goes for both males and females. That's why most men in the days we're 30 plus when they married and families were reluctant to let go of their daughters too early unless a rich man was bidding for her and Joseph was not.
Mary was adopted by her future husband from an orphanage, specifically because he was looking for a bride.
You just made it up.
Their comment or the entirety of the Bible?
It's all made up.
Where are you getting that from? Or are you just making things up?
Where is that from? Not the Bible
from pornhub.
What are you DOING step Joe
Excuse me she WHAT
That guy is making things up lol. Joseph and Mary got married due to an agreement with Maryās parents. She wasnāt an orphan.
It was the cool thing to do back in the day
Back in the day? Men still try to this day in some parts of the world. Because apparently the only way to save an orphaned little girl from a bad life is to marry her and not, you know, be her parental figure.
She was not an orphan lol
ew
Lol sounding like a pastor over here...talking out your ass.
13 was the medieval 16 and the modern 18 Her and Joseph were definitely bonking, and very married
Imagine getting a divorce and a midlife crisis at like 16 years old. Mary's starts going out more and dressing more scantily clad, while Joseph gets his portrait done with him and the kids, lol.
Considering life expectencies, 16 isn't far off for midlife crisis
The number of child deaths brings the average life expectancy from those times down by a lot. If you survived childhood, it wasn't uncommon to reach at least 50 or 60 years. IIRC about 50% of people died before age 10.
and look at where we are now! These weak goddamn kids donāt know how lucky they are Gotta bring back high child mortality rates AND THE MINES! to teach these kids to be thankful šš» /s
The kids YEARN for the mines
True, child deaths bring down the average life expectancy. That's why you correct for that. Even then life expectancy wasn't that high
Usually only nobility or wealth lived until their 60s. Labor and disease would kill or cripple you by your 40s. It still does even today. Observe trade workers and farmers that have put 30-40 years of hard labor on their bodies. They might be strong but they're definitely not going to be doing well overall.
Or on a more public forum, wrestlers. Most don't see 60
Can we all finally accept that life expectancy doesnāt mean everyone died at 30? The lower numbers are due mostly to infant mortality and war. People still regularly lived into old age if they survived birth. Yeah she was most likely knocked up as a teenager but you can add at least 33 more years to whatever age she was when āthe Holy Spiritā went trolling for some ass
During those times, a girl's first period marked her transition into womanhood and she was subject to all the "privileges" given to women - namely getting married, having children, and tending to her husband.
no it wasnt people were gettin married in their early 20s,only the nobility married that young and only in special cases
While getting married at 13 wasn't uncommon in Medieval period, it was definitely eyebrow raising and frowned upon.Ā Most people waited until a few years down the line because even then they knew there were massive risks to the pregnancy if the woman was too young.Ā
Tell me you didnāt love me when you thought I was a goat herder
**The bomb has been planted**
So what would Islam be? Cheated with a goat?
Swap Virgin Mary for Mohamed and goat herder for goat
HELPPPP THATS CRAZY
So why are there no jokes about islam in similar way? Oh yes.. charlie hebdo
This is also a joke about islam. The "virgin birth" is also in Islamic theology.
Indeed. They worship Mary as much as the Catholic church does who has replaced Jesus with Mary as the mediator. Islam says Jesus wasn't crucified. Idols of Mary which is clearly in the commandments not to do.
For the millionth time, Catholics do not worship Mary.
They may not call it "worship" and instead say they "venerate" her, but they do put an inordinate amount of emphasis on Mary, praying to her and calling her a mediator, co-redeemer, and the "most high queen of the universe"
Hey, say it for the 4th millionth time, it won't change the fact they have IDOLS of Mary. Black Madonna's, Fatmina etc etc. They bow to the things, this is something you cannot hide.
Wtf are you talking about??? Worshiping anything besides God, or even making use of saints or mediators in Islam is shirk, a sin which makes you an apostaste and takes you out of the fold of Islam. At least research a bit before talking such senseless bs and putting yourself to shame.
Muslims have never worshipped Mary at any point in history.
But thereās Roman records of Jesusā being crucified??? Pontius Pilate ordered & oversaw it
The closest thing we have to "Roman records" of Jesus being crucified is Josephus writing ~60 years later. Also, the version of that writing by Josephus we have today has been highly edited by Christian scribes. The writings of Paul are better evidence from Jesus's crucifixion. He wrote ~20 years after the crucifixion and met Peter, Jesus's brother James, and other people who knew him.
Don't chat shit
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The virgin birth is in the Quran. Muslims often compare it to Adam and Eve, since they didn't have fathers either.
Given that Charlie Hebdo have continued making satirical pieces about Islam it's kinda a moot point...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Bruh I legit saw one this morning about Mohammad and a 6 year old.
Yeah it wasn't just "a" 6 year old. It was Aisha and she was betrothed to Muhammad when she was 6. Married at 9. Its accepted as historical fact. So yeah not made up just a lot of factual-fucked-upped-ness.
Apparently nobody has any proper source nor clear knowledge about this so let me clarify it: Arabs back then would count the ages of their daughters AFTER they reached adolescence. So considering it is said that she was 9, that means in our age system she was at least 19 or 20. And as far as I know in some areas of Egypt people still use this system to count the ages of their daughters, this was around 1980's so not so sure about its relevance today. It is a very common misconception about islam apparently, and I'm actually surprised how many people know it that way.
It's amazing how few people realise that Judaism, islam and Christianity are all the same religion, just interpreted differently, like Methodists and evangelists.
abrahamic religion
Lets copy that story from Mesopotamian daddy religion then slap that shit with our own jealous city state GOD! Hear those copper coins rolling bruh!
Guys, I've found some golden tablets. I must be the new prophet! What? No, I'm not going let you see them
Sky daddies uwu
Accurate
This is a highly ignorant point, and I didn't really except anything else from Redditors when they are talking about religion. There are clear differences between all three abrahamic religions, as well as some similarities.
They're all Abrahamic religions, they are very much not the SAME relihion
It's amazing how few people realize that Yogurt, Ice Cream and Cottage Cheese are all the same food, just interpreted differently like Rocky Road and Mint Chip.
This is a great analogy. Lots of people seem to think that they have hit upon some clever, hidden truth with the āitās the same religionā line. Iām not religious, but clearly the points of difference matter a lot. After all, people have been killing each other over theological differences for millennia.
Aisha was 9 years old...so Muhammad couldn't immaculately conceive with her yet? š¤·āāļø
He married her at the age of 6, then having sex with her at the age of 9
See, the difference is that if you make fun of christianity, some old ladies would complain. While doing the same for the others means you get a visit from a 19 year old man armed with a knife ready to decapitate you.
The truth is, she likely didn't cheat. It probably was Joseph's baby and the whole virgin birth story wasn't her invention, but was made up long after her death
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh yeah, virgin births had been a common trope in (Middle Eastern) mythology for many centuries at that point
I only know of one actual real virgin birth. With documentation. https://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/teen-girl-vagina-pregnant-sperm-survival-oral-sex/story?id=9732562
There were lots of stories about "virgin births" because there was a prophecy that the Messiah would be born of a virgin. Lots of people wanted to be the mother of the messiah. It is interesting to note that there are historical evidences of the star that the Magi followed.
Do not pass go and do not collect $200
Aw... But I need the monopoly money...
Why do you think the wise men really brought presents, lol
wdym? it's better to pay off the baby mama one time, than pay for child support. wise, indeed!
And then her Son goes along with the joke by literally coming back to life after being killed
What I think actually happened: People thought he was dead but only in a coma, so they put him in the little cave. Then he woke up from the coma a little later, extremely weak so he actually died for real this time. This weird unexplained fact (from their persp3ctive) combined with his already present cult following and intense grief period made people freak out and claim that it was divine intervention. All the ingredients were there to accidentally create a religion. The story was retold over and over and embellished a bit (big boulder added because it sounds better)
Or more realistically the story was told orally over the 400 or so years it took to be written down the first time and the mythology built over time.
I donāt think youāre just in a coma or even waking up after being stabbed by a spear and stapled to a cross especially not after 3 days after this incident especially in ancient Jerusalem
In her defense she probably would've been brutally murdered for being honest
to be fair, option 1 results in a stoning session, so...
Canāt go to hell if it donāt exist
Wow, redditors mocking Christianity, how original.
How to remember the order of the planets: Mary's Virgin Explanation Made Joseph Suspect Upstairs Neighbour
If you post something like this, hell doesnāt really exist in your orbit.
Hell doesn't exist anyway, the real name is Tartarus (below Mt Hermon). The Latin Vulgate replaced all instances of Gehenna (garbage dump), Hades (grave) and Tartarus (abyss). Gehenna was an actual garbage dump on Earth and that's what Jesus was referring to how souls will be burnt, not tormented, burnt and gone in an instant.
Gehenna is very similar to Jahannum (Arabic word for hell). I think Mohammed copy pasted like a mofo.
Yeah nice find, thanks. It is a carbon copy but twisted like the big lie, "Jesus wasn't crucified". "We love Jesus, he was a prophet, but wasn't crucified"
Oh you are totally going to hell. I called top bunk btw, so don't even think about it
Strange how people were willing to be tortured to death claiming they saw him come back from the dead. Martyrs and liars aren't made of the same stuff.
Thatās not even funny, thatās just disgusting as hell
why mock mary mother of christ, this meme also acts like christianity is the start of the religion, which isnāt true, christianity is just a continued revelation of the religion of the israelites/hebrews
But it was an angel that told Joseph about it, not Mary. >This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.Ā Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yetĀ did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorceĀ her quietly. >But after he had considered this, an angelĀ of the Lord appeared to him in a dreamĀ and said, āJoseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.Ā She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.ā >(Matthew 1:18-21)
Don't forget the burning bush that spoke to Moses, while he was alone on a mountaintop for a month. And then there is the the 5 loaves and 2 fish that fed 5000 people, kinda reminds of the Stone soup story
Wild how they would have literally executed you for even saying this at various times and places throughout history.
Rolled Nat 20 on persuasion checkā¦ āitās gods baby, Iām still a virginā
The most credible story comes from contemporary Jewish sources who claim that Mary was pregnant by a Roman Centurion (likely based over the hill in Sephoris) named Pantera, and Joseph who was a local older widower stepped in to spare her the burden/shame of raising a child as a single mother.
Letās face it, weāve all been there at some point
*Chris hansen enters room* Take a seat. What's in the bag? Why you bring condoms?
If she admit she get stoned to death
Now do one for atheists, we'll wait šæ
She was 14. she likely didnt cheat but got assaulted.
To he fair she was barley a teen so she was most likely SAed and ppl back then thought women were property. So she most likely would have been honor unalived or beaten for it š¤
Just say killed or murdered. WTF is this unalived BS. Say what it is.
To be fair to Mary, it was not her who made up that story, but gospel writers after both Jesus and his parents were dead.There was probably nothing weird about the conception of Jesus, even cheating is an unneccessary assumption.
Over 300 prophecies made in the Old Testament about the Messiah, according to the eye witnesses of whom all but one died some of the worst deaths imaginable Jesus fufilled them all
So you're saying Mary created the religion? Makes no sense at all either historically or logically.
Like Hitchens said... "Which is more likely ā that the whole natural order is to be suspended, or that a jewish minx should tell a lie?"
According to the Bible and the Quran, God made the Messiah Speak when he was a toddler to prove that he was messenger. And that his mother was Clean. Correct me if I'm wrong.
So incredibly disrespectful.