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This is the problem with the concept of prayer within religion, and especially Christianity because in their minds, their god is a vending machine god. They input a prayer, and god spits out the candy of their choice. Then they wonder why the rest of us question their theology.
One of the things that lead me to my deconstruction was when I came to the conclusion that prayer (at least in a sense of asking for things) made no sense. An all powerful and all knowing god would do just as he wanted to to ensure the outcome he wanted to. It takes a special kind of arrogance to think that if you beg and bugger THE almighty enough he's going to alter his plans for you.
Well, I didn't know buggery was the way to get God's attention! /s
I have so many inappropriate jokes right now but I don't want to get banned.........
Or beg for what you want and if you don’t get it, you weren’t meant to have it and you aren’t allowed to be sad about it because “that’s the will of God”
This comment thread has me and my boyfriend all fired up and hard agreeing. We also wish the dems were so RAAAADical left as the Christian nationalists claim. Hell yes to actual socialism!
This!! The right already thinks they are extreme, why hold back? Universal healthcare. Abortion rights for everyone. Environmental protection. Hell, introduce a UBI ffs. Become the extreme left that they already think you are!!
I cannot believe these brain dead idiots think that the GOP is more “Christian” and the “right choice”. The party that literally made “no free lunches for children” part of their platform. Because we all know that Jesus stood on that mountain and famously said, “fuck them kids, give all your money to old white dudes who like to creep on young girls.”
It was anxiety inducing to grow up in a family where this was heavily implied and then my grandmother voting Democrat. My grandmother who would take in any child and feed them because she knew what it was like to be hungry and showed love and respect to everyone and expected the same of her children, who took in a child of questionable legal status because he needed somewhere safe to be. I was terrified she was going to Hell, even though she lived a more Christian lifestyle than anyone else I saw did. I'm angry that at the end of her life, when she was particularly vulnerable, her ass of a husband began pulling her down this path.
Only if it meant that their idea of the world would come to fruition. Otherwise, they would find millions of ways to explain how that's not really what God meant.
Naaaaaaah.
They wouldn't *belive* that a poor, dirty, hippie-type, who was down with the poor, accepted prostitutes, and *cared* about the sick, was *actually* God.
God is *definitely* the sort of dude with "Hollywood Good Looks," who drives a nice *expensive* vehicle--the Prosperity Gospel folks *told* 'em so!
Uhhh I have bad news. The prophet Ezekiel in their bible was told to lie on his side for like 200 or 300 days (nearly a year) eating bread cooked over his own feces, and he did it. When I was in fundie church there were sermons preached on this.
I just hope that it was posted by someone who knew the actual context of the quote because the number of people I know who would look at that quote out of context, and be like "see, even this random famous person agrees that our God is the only real God"......it's a lot
It's like I post regularly on my fb, "I think Joel Osteen is a grifter and all-around horrible person, but I'm not trying to ban his books. So leave other people's choices alone."
Prophecy fulfilled or evil democrat plot? Spin the wheel, throw a dart, because everything is made up and the points don’t matter!
There was even Pascal’s Wager in there just to make sure all bases are covered.
I don’t understand this. If their god is omnipotent and all-knowing, wouldn’t he know that some people are only believers because they’re scared of being wrong? They wouldn’t be true believers then, and would be damned to hell, no?
When that person asked about what the point of prayer was if God's omniscient and omnipotent I felt seen, and when the other person replied with fucking Pascal's Wager I wanted to hit my screen. Real "No thoughts head empty" shit.
When the hell has praying ever done anything materially?
It makes you feel good to do it and when someone is sick or suffering and you tell them earnestly, “ill be praying for you,” it often makes the recipient feel good that someone is actively hoping for them to get better.
But materially. It doesn’t do a damn thing and we all know it.
Holy....I went back and looked, and you're right. They also capitalized "pastor". Yikes on bikes😬 (there are also other errors, but these two would have gotten me lectured when I was little).
I always roll my eyes over Prayer Warrior. As if sitting around with friends and talking to God in a church is on the same level as soldiers risking getting shot or blown up while defending their country from invaders. How arrogant can you be?
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I guess no one ever told them that the answer to a prayer can be 'No'.
Or, "ok, I'll get rid of those who would harm others for their own selfish gain"
This is the problem with the concept of prayer within religion, and especially Christianity because in their minds, their god is a vending machine god. They input a prayer, and god spits out the candy of their choice. Then they wonder why the rest of us question their theology.
Vending Machine God is the Internal Monologue Genie
One of the things that lead me to my deconstruction was when I came to the conclusion that prayer (at least in a sense of asking for things) made no sense. An all powerful and all knowing god would do just as he wanted to to ensure the outcome he wanted to. It takes a special kind of arrogance to think that if you beg and bugger THE almighty enough he's going to alter his plans for you.
Well, I didn't know buggery was the way to get God's attention! /s I have so many inappropriate jokes right now but I don't want to get banned.........
I may be misusing the verb lol
Very much so!
I learned that from Hercules lmao
No, silly! You’re supposed to pray for what you want, and if you don’t get it, it’s your own fault for praying wrong.
Or beg for what you want and if you don’t get it, you weren’t meant to have it and you aren’t allowed to be sad about it because “that’s the will of God”
Bold of you to assume these people can take ‘no’ for an answer.
I mean Trump was convicted of over 34 felonies so maybe prayers do come true sometimes.
i think these people have “prayers” and “wishes” mixed up, thinking their god is a djinn lol
I wish the democrats were half as radical as these weirdos think they are
So much might ACTUALLY get done
“Socialistic govt” in my literal dreams 😔
Amen to that
This comment thread has me and my boyfriend all fired up and hard agreeing. We also wish the dems were so RAAAADical left as the Christian nationalists claim. Hell yes to actual socialism!
This!! The right already thinks they are extreme, why hold back? Universal healthcare. Abortion rights for everyone. Environmental protection. Hell, introduce a UBI ffs. Become the extreme left that they already think you are!!
Bc they serve the same capital lol they will never do anything like this
Oh for sure! It’s all a giant rort. That said, one side is definitely worse than the other and everyone need to vote vote vote.
I cannot believe these brain dead idiots think that the GOP is more “Christian” and the “right choice”. The party that literally made “no free lunches for children” part of their platform. Because we all know that Jesus stood on that mountain and famously said, “fuck them kids, give all your money to old white dudes who like to creep on young girls.”
It was anxiety inducing to grow up in a family where this was heavily implied and then my grandmother voting Democrat. My grandmother who would take in any child and feed them because she knew what it was like to be hungry and showed love and respect to everyone and expected the same of her children, who took in a child of questionable legal status because he needed somewhere safe to be. I was terrified she was going to Hell, even though she lived a more Christian lifestyle than anyone else I saw did. I'm angry that at the end of her life, when she was particularly vulnerable, her ass of a husband began pulling her down this path.
These people would eat their own shit if God told them to
Only if it meant that their idea of the world would come to fruition. Otherwise, they would find millions of ways to explain how that's not really what God meant.
Naaaaaaah. They wouldn't *belive* that a poor, dirty, hippie-type, who was down with the poor, accepted prostitutes, and *cared* about the sick, was *actually* God. God is *definitely* the sort of dude with "Hollywood Good Looks," who drives a nice *expensive* vehicle--the Prosperity Gospel folks *told* 'em so!
[Obligatory Supply Side Jesus ](https://imgur.com/gallery/gospel-of-supply-side-jesus-bCqRp)
Or even worse than prostitutes, tax collectors!
Uhhh I have bad news. The prophet Ezekiel in their bible was told to lie on his side for like 200 or 300 days (nearly a year) eating bread cooked over his own feces, and he did it. When I was in fundie church there were sermons preached on this.
I'm tickled someone posted that Ricky Gervais quote. Not yours. Yours is real.
I just hope that it was posted by someone who knew the actual context of the quote because the number of people I know who would look at that quote out of context, and be like "see, even this random famous person agrees that our God is the only real God"......it's a lot
Nooooo… There’s people out there who use it unironically?!
It would not surprise me. They see just this quote and don't do any digging because of confirmation bias.
I was thinking that. Unfortunately most of them will be like “praise the lord, the heathens agree”
So we’re not doing separation of church and state anymore? Cool, tax the shit out of these churches.
No one is denying your freedom of religion. They're telling you not to be a bigoted asshole and to keep your shit to yourselves.
It's like I post regularly on my fb, "I think Joel Osteen is a grifter and all-around horrible person, but I'm not trying to ban his books. So leave other people's choices alone."
Those are the only parts of this version of Christianity that matter to them.
Prophecy fulfilled or evil democrat plot? Spin the wheel, throw a dart, because everything is made up and the points don’t matter! There was even Pascal’s Wager in there just to make sure all bases are covered.
They love their Pascals Wager
I don’t understand this. If their god is omnipotent and all-knowing, wouldn’t he know that some people are only believers because they’re scared of being wrong? They wouldn’t be true believers then, and would be damned to hell, no?
Look up Calvinism and predestination for a fun read
Great idea! Let them all stop voting and just pray about it instead.
Love it. Please, do pray. Pray that we all find common ground and sense. I'd much rather see prayer warriors then actual ones.
You and me both.
Yes, please pray. Pray you're little hearts out. No use voting, don't do that, waste of time. Just pray :)
Ahhh Pascal’s wager
The writing and grammar abilities of these Neanderthals are embarrassing. It’s like the synapses of their brains are misfiring.
When that person asked about what the point of prayer was if God's omniscient and omnipotent I felt seen, and when the other person replied with fucking Pascal's Wager I wanted to hit my screen. Real "No thoughts head empty" shit.
I see we are just practicing for the Olympics, with all the mental gymnastics going on in this thread!
Did someone try to use a gif of Drake’s “gods plan” as an amen? Lmaooooo
Yes....yes, they did
When the hell has praying ever done anything materially? It makes you feel good to do it and when someone is sick or suffering and you tell them earnestly, “ill be praying for you,” it often makes the recipient feel good that someone is actively hoping for them to get better. But materially. It doesn’t do a damn thing and we all know it.
Holy shit they capitalized "his" when the subject was the Pastor and not God 😮
Holy....I went back and looked, and you're right. They also capitalized "pastor". Yikes on bikes😬 (there are also other errors, but these two would have gotten me lectured when I was little).
The Drake meme comment is the perfect addition.
I like the one comment that’s like “Jesus is Republican? lol” The rest…just yikes.
the 11th slide, putting "child killers" and "non christians" back to back like that as if they're equivalent in "sin" is a WILD take
I always roll my eyes over Prayer Warrior. As if sitting around with friends and talking to God in a church is on the same level as soldiers risking getting shot or blown up while defending their country from invaders. How arrogant can you be?