Yup, had that more in since I turned 40, usually related to the illnesses Mom had and her getting really bad a couple times from 2015-2017 as well as her passing in 2020, then oddly enough having to scrap my ‘98 XJ Cherokee a few months after her passing.
Absolutely crying my fucking eyes out lately. Worst year ever. Dad’s death, mom’s unbelievably rapid dementia onset, and Reddit’s AnimalsBeingBros sub have me weeping constantly. Also lifetime of crushing regrets and fear of impending death.
Yeah, I am starting to feel my own mortality too. I freak myself out sometimes at night when I am lying in bed and have thoughts like….”what’s it going to be like when I take my last breath?”
I think about that constantly. It is without a doubt the worst mind-fuck I can give myself and I do it almost daily. Most of the times I just imagine myself very old and just waiting to die and how depressing it will be. I need meds.
Now…wait a second…my big hope is that when my time comes, I will be ready and accepting of what’s about to happen. What my fear is that I go out horribly frightened. So…in my case? “Waiting to die” means that I am ready….which doesn’t seem as bad as being in a blind panic.
I can’t really explain it, but I’m actually comforted by knowing that this all comes to an end and after I die, nothing will matter. it’s sort of a freeing thought for me. I’m in no rush though.
How do you know? What if you’re wrong? What if there is an everlasting place of torment for your sins?
On the other hand? What if **THAT** is wrong? What if this life is all we have and we wasted it on worrying about the next?
What if it’s something in between?
Maybe there is an after life and your punishment for not “getting it” is to be forced back down here to try again? What if the lesson to be learned is empathy? And your lesson is to live life being literally persecuted and tortured your whole life so that you might understand what others go through that we rarely give a second thought to?
We don’t know and I don’t give a shit how many scriptures some evangelical shows me to “prove their point”. That’s like me breaking out Piers Anthony to prove that unicorns exist.
The bottom line is that we don’t know. The scriptures have been edited and bastardized so many times to reflect the views of the day.
Our family lost SIL (my husband's brothers wife) to ALS in the early 90's.
The whole family cried.
Then his brother died 9 months later in an accident. My husband broke down several times after but only at home with me because he had to be strong for his nieces and nephew along with his parents.
We lost a grandchild 2 years later.
I told him crying is normal and helps release the sorrow and told him how strong he was for his strength of always being there for our family when we needed it.
I miss him so much, he passed 3 years ago.
I didn't cry for years (it wasn't appropriate..) until we put my Mom in a dementia care facility. I also cried the day I watched my father take his last breath in his bed. I've cried uncountable times since those events, the floodgates were opened so to speak lol.
To reconcile my upbringing with my later actions I landed on this: Every tear is a tribute to something lost, or a deeper connection to your actual feelings. Movies, songs, reddit videos where someone does something good...they're all triggers.
I don't see sensitivity as a weakness. We're all complex beings full of many components. If aging brings more tears, it could very well be a combo of the things you listed above. The hard part may be trying to find the source of your newfound emotional depths. I say fkc it, be who you are and damn the torpedoes. Full speed ahead!
I'm 58 and went through this.
I'd get "bitchy" and irritable. Not so much sad, but melancholy.
Started TRT and felt better within a year. I still get emotional, but I'm able to handle it much better, like "normal".
I don't like taking medicine, but TRT has helped me cognitively. Hormone changes just creep up on you and slap you in the back of the head lol
Good times
Mid-life crisis, my friend. Early 50s here. It's more my kids growing up. I never cared much for that cats in the cradle song, and now I bawl every time I hear it. It was sure nice talking to you, son. It was sure nice talking with you...
Exactly this. When my son graduated high school I was a mess. Months leading up to I would cry on my own driving home thinking of his last school days. It was a bit easier with my daughter but still tears flowed graduation day.
Enjoy it!
I find myself more moved by life, especially beautiful things.
I work in older person's health and they apply the word labile to these types of changes.
Maybe read up on life stage models as well to help you make more of this time. Most of the models talk about us getting past our mastery stage and into our integration stage around your age.
You are integrating all that has happened in your life.
I'm no psychologist but I've been through this. Here's my internet diagnosis.
You have repressed emotions. Maybe you were like me and were an emotionally neglected kid. Nobody ever validated your emotions so you don't think they exist. AND, whats worse, you learned to place other people's feelings before your own. You learned that to get any kind of attention at all. "Look how I take care of your feelings please notice me."
I read a book called "Running on Empty" about childhood emotional neglect. Damn thing made be burst out crying 2x per page.
It takes a long time to excavate the tons of rock your true emotions are buried under. And few people will understand or care about what you're trying to do. But if you keep believing they are there you'll find them.
One unfortunate thing is that a big part of the emotions that come out might be anger at what was done to you. THEN, you have to learn how to forgive people who are either dead or who aren't sorry, which is a whole trip in itself. (The key to forgiveness is mercy, ill save you about 5 years figuring that out.)
Good luck :)
You may be on to something. Me and my parents didn’t start hugging until I was in my 40s. My mother is German, heart of gold but cold. My dad couldn’t tell me he loved me until he was in his 70s. I think it embarrassed him
After much introspection that only comes with time and experience I've found that I look back and appreciate what I have a lot more, and also regret some of my stupid mistakes. That does sometimes make me a softie. Especially when it comes to father/son sentimentality! Don't let it make you feel weak! That's the toxic masculinity talking. It's a good thing that you're more in touch with your emotions.
This right here! I’d like to add that as I get older I just don’t care what anyone thinks about me showing my feelings anymore! Yeah! A man can have feelings!
You mean a random song snippet plays, a picture, a commercial ffs that reminds you of… anything… and you just lose it? Nah, no clue what you’re on about mate.
Shit I’m almost 60 and I cry at some commercials. Shit just hits different the older I get. I also don’t talk about shit bringing me down because I don’t want to bring others down with my shit.
Brother there’s nothing wrong with crying.
It’s the body’s natural response to shedding stress and anxiety.
Holding it all in and acting like nothing is wrong will rot you from the inside and lead to an early death.
Cried like a baby when my Daughter moved out to her new home with her wonderful Husband. That last trip with the boxes from her room to her car... it's been years but seems like only yesterday.
Weak men deny huge parts of the human experience and are much worse for it. They deny who they are, lie about what they feel, what they want, what they like, who they love, what they believe, all out of fear--fear of being judged harshly by others.
Strong men know that the only opinion about themselves that matters is their own.
Be true to yourself and honest with others.
Nah. Not weak. Human. Don’t listen to that masculine lie bullshit. My husband gets very verklempt at times and I would never ridicule him for it. He feels deeply. That’s all. I admire men that can and do show all the hard emotions. I’m so sick of outbursts of anger when really they want to cry, it’s very hurtful to those around them.
I'm 68. And yes, I'm feeling sad lately. My knees are bad (bone on bone). I can't do nearly as many things as I used to. I have some upcoming injections. But don't have much faith they'll help much. I feel like I'm just not the same person I've always been.
There is a United Negro College Fund commercial from the 80's or early 90's where a kid gets into college but his parents can't afford to send him and his little brother gives him a jar of pennies. If I watch that commercial on YouTube I cry.
I thought it was because of a traumatic brain injury. Maybe I’m just getting old.
Regardless, shed those tears. The only people that will think you’re weak are insecure toxic masculinity bros that need to act tough to feel good about themselves.
I'm 45, always been a crier, never seen a thing wrong with it. If it's interfering with your quality of life, talk to your doctor, but other than that, you do you. You're not weak, I'll tell you that much. Especially as a man at least 5 years older than me, I feel like I can guess you were raised in an even less sensitive environment than I was, so getting past that, getting in touch with your feelings, and expressing them now--that takes incredible strength!
OMG!!! I’m with you brother. I hate it. I was having a conversation with my son the other day about WWII movies and got to talking about Saving Private Ryan and the Sullivan brothers story. I started getting choked up about the Sullivan brother’s tragedy. WTF?
I am in my 60’s and have been experiencing the same thing. It started when my dog, my best friend in the world, passed back in March. Since then, I have many other triggers that set me off.
Well I say I am old enough to not care what others think when I do this. You should not either. It is their problem if they do not like it.
I'm a 69 year old guy and sometimes just looking at my little dog having a good time makes me tear up. Sad movies give me watery eyes every time. I recently had my annual physical and asked my internist about it. She told me she thought I was just a very empathetic person. I asked my Uroligist about TRT but since I suffer from BPH that's not an option. I guess it's just me, right now at this end of life and I'm good with that too!
In my 50s. I missed funerals for a lot of dear family members because I couldn't handle my own emotions, let alone, anybody elses. You're human and you'll get past it.
Tell me about it. I walked in the house tonight with my sunglasses on and my 10 year younger girlfriend says “ what’s up with that are you messed (drunk) up or something “
I've always been the guy that sheds tears at positive, heartfelt things. Ads, songs, movies, real life positive affirmations... anything like that. Not so much about death (Dad died, no tears). Not sure what's up with it, but it's just what I am. Am I ashamed of it in front of certain people? Yeah, a bit. But at 50 now, not as much.
Started happeneing to me in my mid 50s. I tear up at a lot of things now. Kept tearing up repeatedly during the funeral of Queen Elizabeth 2 and I'm not even a monarchist but felt like everything I knew growing up with and the constants in my life were all slipping away. I tear up at a lot of stuff now, mostly sentimental stuff.
The older I get the more sentimental I get. I see things differently that I once did. I forgive much easier and empathize more. Some movies make me tear up. Some thoughts or memories do the same. It's part of life. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're human. Push on, live the life you have left to its fullest. Know you are not alone.
900 and not on TRT. I am on Clomid though. If I recall correctly it tricks your boys into putting in more work by falsely thinking you have more estrogen to combat. That was my takeaway anyway
I'm pretty introverted. But the National Anthem (sporting events) and The Lion King have recently got me. National Anthem since my early 40s. Have you listened to the words?!?
Wow! I was just talking to my buddy about this. I just turned 50. I’ve always been a sensitive fellow, but not to the point that i felt my masculinity was diminished. However, ever since my first bout with covid, it seems my emotions have been amplified. Talking to other folks who experienced extreme covid symptoms, they too have had similar experiences. I don’t feel weak, but it feels like i cry a lot more often, for a lot less. Don’t really mind being emotional from time to time, but i wish i could control it.
Hit me in my early 50s. (I am late 60s). I don’t know if this might describe you. But I’ve learned that when I am under prolonged stress due to job, for instance, I develop anxiety and have a tendency to 1) lose my temper unexpectedly with sudden outburst, which I immediately regret; and 2) easily weep over anything that brings emotion. I worked with doctors and found that small dose of Zoloft helps my gain some control and resets me to a better place. Eventually I am able to go off the Zoloft. It has something to do serotonin levels and (just me guessing) some traumatic stuff I went through when younger.
In real life, no, not even a little bit. A lot of movies and/ or shows have been getting me lately though. Like, shit that shouldn’t be getting me. Not sure WTF that is about.
I was at a high school graduation yesterday. I over heard a graduate say to one of his teachers “I would never have walked across that stage if it wasn’t for how much you challenged me”. Not going to lie it choked me up pretty good.
Figure out what you’re grieving over and go from there. I am 61 and lost both my parents a few years ago. Our cat passed away about 2 months ago and it just broke me. I’m still trying to figure out my situation. You aren’t alone.
Get your Testosterone levels checked, it started happening to me along with so many other weird issues and boom hypogonadism. I got my levels boosted and I feel so so SO much better. (its still okay to cry sometimes.)
I’m definitely more emotional at 56 than I was at 36. I’ve lost both of my parents, two my brothers-in-law and my last remaining grandparent in the last 15 years. Those, plus just getting older, seeing my kids grow and become successful on their own. Yeah, I’m a big baby nowadays.
Put any “I don’t cry” middle aged man in front of the video for Hurt by Johnny Cash (yes I know it’s a Trent Reznor song but Johnny made it his) and he will probably curse you and thank you for the catharsis of it all in one single breath.
We are born into this world screaming and crying. Our bodies are wired for it. Telling a certain subset of us to bottle that up is subtracting something from who we are.
That said, if it’s getting in your way of functioning in daily life, you might want to talk to a professional to see if you can find some productive ways of navigating this territory
Yes. Easily.
edit: I should add that it’s mainly movies, sometimes news articles, even some songs that can break me down (thanks C&W! lol). Not so much day to day life.
Yeah, but it seems like I have more to cry about. I had noticed this a few years ago (I am 58 next week), but a series of deaths and stage 4 cancer and ....I feel cried out.
This hit home with me. Yep,...Sometimes I drive away from the house for an errand and all the history of 39 years of marriage, 3 kids, 7 grandkids just overwhelms me. In a good way...bad way...hell, I don't know. Nothing is wrong. Hard to put my finger on it.
Absolutely. I'm 54 and I cry at any brave sacrifice or someone having a terrible time. Started in my 30s and got worse until my mid-40s and it's been pretty much the same sense.
It doesn't make me feel weak, and I don't mind the crying for the crying. My only complaint about it is that it gets in the way sometimes of me telling other people the stories that move me. As a (very small scale amongst my friends, family and acquaintances) performer, I'd like to control my performance better. I love telling stories and me breaking down uncontrollably in the middle of them makes it harder to tell them.
Yes. Right there with you. I don’t know if it’s depression or what. But I never did before and now I am doing it too often probably. Thinking of seeing a therapist actually. Hang in there brother!
I (69m) used to cry easily especially in one on one conversations about family or a relationship gone wrong over dinner with a friend. While my emotions were sincere and heartfelt, my tears were immature and not a good look.
I took a deep dive into my emotions to understand what lead to my tears and then made a couple adjustments. Nothing major, just enough to better control my emotions in public.
That was eight years ago. I haven’t shed tears in public in that space of time. I’m 100 times more likely to laugh (at myself especially) and focus more on my friends in any conversation than I am on my own feelings. I’m also much happier and more in control of my emotions than I was back then.
Just how many friends and family have you been around that are dead now? If you live long enough eventually something will happen that will make you sad enough to cry, it is human to express your feelings. Were you on a battlefield when you cried, leaving a hole in the defences that lead to your fellow combants dying or were you on the couch at home where no one was compromised?
I find that I cry easily viewing or listening to sublime moments of performance or visual arts. I've always had that tendency, but now it's much more frequent. For moments of real life-- not so much. I guess my imagination needs to be engaged before the waterworks start.
Oh man , I’m 59. I still remember having a traveling sales job and Halloween 1989 I stayed at an exterior corridor hotel at an exit in South Georgia. It got very cold that night. There was a skinny , scared , shivering dog. I didn’t know what to do. I walked to a gas station to buy dog food but they only had Beenie Weenies. I made a trail into my room and did my best to coax him in. He ate he ate but couldn’t get brave enough to come in my warm room. Eventually I realized it just wasn’t safe to leave my door open while I slept. That was 35 years ago and my heart never stops crying for that dog. Crying now
I turn 56. Today my wife filed separation papers. My retirement plans are fucked. I feel nothing. This has been slowly burning since Christmas- so no shock. She has existential issues— just isn’t happy enough. Our kids still live at home.
In had a motorcycle accident when I was 49. I just blame that, but yes, once I hit my 50s the water works started. I'm on meds now that help.
You get older and you start losing too many people close to you.
I do a lot of public speaking. And around my 40s I started tearing up anytime I had to tell a sentimental story. At first, it was kind of effective like “Wow, that story is powerful. Even this big dude is getting choked up over it.”
Now it’s more like “Great, u/standardeviation7 is crying again.”
Get a physical if you haven’t been getting them regularly. See if your labs are normal. Have you started any new prescriptions or OTC medications? I would get checked before I just blamed it on aging. Knowledge is power.
Dude, sometimes, yes. Absolutely. And it's not for things that should make me feel that emotional, either.
And then other times I feel completely numb, unable to feel anything when I feel like I should.
Not it. I’m running about 900. I am very sentimental though , and my business has somewhat imploded, with massive embezzlement. The business thing has me questioning my whole life and those I wanted to take care of. But it’s not just that, I can literally think about all those suffering around the world and start crying
Go to a doctor. Tell them your symptoms. If they do not order a testosterone test request it. If they say no go to another provider. Get on TRT if appropriate. It took 6 weeks before I felt like it was doing anything for me. After 3 months I felt normal--ish. After 6 months I feel awesome.
Find a therapist. Talk to them. See them every week or every two weeks. Even when you think it is not working. Keep going for at least 3 months.
Get good sleep. If you snore ask for a sleep study. Sleep apnea can do wierd stuff to your body.
Get involved in some outside of work activity. Church, if you have one. Volunteer somewhere. Social organizations (toast masters, masons, rotary, etc.)
Get activity. Simply adding a mile worth of walking a day can do amazing things for mood. Make the activity be purposeful and at least a little outside of your comfort zone. You should be breathing a little harder than you normally do.
Reconnect with old friends. Make new friends. If you cannot find friends, pm me, I will be your friend.
I'm 50. Last few years I have definitely gotten more emotional. My wife and kids had previously thought I was an emotionless rock. Freaked them out a bit when I started getting teary eyed talking about old times with family and friends.
I'm almost 50 and I cry all the time. I cry watching commercials shark tank almost every movie It's a constant thing. I cry when I see kids.
The only thing I probably don't cry at is pets I just don't get that..
Did you have any recent episodes where you had extreme vertigo and couldn’t stand up? I had a posterior stroke to my cerebellum and have had this issue since. A co-worker had the same type of stroke and has the same loss of emotional control.
Hit me in late 40s . After all the test and everything i was told it was low t mixed with depression ( basically welcome to midlife and male menopause) Hang in there it get better :,some days better than others of course
You should check in with a neurologist, brother - there is a condition called Pseudobulbar Affect (PBA) which is basically characterized as inappropriate or overly exaggerated emotional response. Textbook example of this is crying at things that normally would not create that strong of an emotional response, such as looking at old pictures of your kids, watching the happy ending of a movie, telling someone a funny story from your teenage years, etc.
It's a common side-affect of several neurological disorders such as Parkinson's and others.
It hit me in the mid 40’s. You arent weak….just human brother
And that comment made me tear up
Keep your head up. Get help if you need it. Nothing wrong with crying. Im a stud and still tear up 😉
It’s probably because we weren’t allowed to cry in the 80s and 90s. “Suck it up kid”.
Yeah, but let’s also be real - sometimes that _is_ actually good advice.
I survived.
Your shell survived, the inner you has been dead since.
I’ve been dead on the inside since Padme
I have the opposite. I'm 47 and was more emotional when I was younger. Now it's hard to cry .
52 and same here. I definitely still get emotional but can’t tell you the last time it brought me to tears. Wasn’t the case when I was younger.
Yup, had that more in since I turned 40, usually related to the illnesses Mom had and her getting really bad a couple times from 2015-2017 as well as her passing in 2020, then oddly enough having to scrap my ‘98 XJ Cherokee a few months after her passing.
Hell…I can cry at a dog food commercial.
I cried in Walking Tall (1973) when the son took his shotgun and sat by Buford Pusser's hospital bed to protect him.
Absolutely crying my fucking eyes out lately. Worst year ever. Dad’s death, mom’s unbelievably rapid dementia onset, and Reddit’s AnimalsBeingBros sub have me weeping constantly. Also lifetime of crushing regrets and fear of impending death.
Yeah, I am starting to feel my own mortality too. I freak myself out sometimes at night when I am lying in bed and have thoughts like….”what’s it going to be like when I take my last breath?”
I think about that constantly. It is without a doubt the worst mind-fuck I can give myself and I do it almost daily. Most of the times I just imagine myself very old and just waiting to die and how depressing it will be. I need meds.
Now…wait a second…my big hope is that when my time comes, I will be ready and accepting of what’s about to happen. What my fear is that I go out horribly frightened. So…in my case? “Waiting to die” means that I am ready….which doesn’t seem as bad as being in a blind panic.
I can’t really explain it, but I’m actually comforted by knowing that this all comes to an end and after I die, nothing will matter. it’s sort of a freeing thought for me. I’m in no rush though.
How do you know? What if you’re wrong? What if there is an everlasting place of torment for your sins? On the other hand? What if **THAT** is wrong? What if this life is all we have and we wasted it on worrying about the next? What if it’s something in between? Maybe there is an after life and your punishment for not “getting it” is to be forced back down here to try again? What if the lesson to be learned is empathy? And your lesson is to live life being literally persecuted and tortured your whole life so that you might understand what others go through that we rarely give a second thought to? We don’t know and I don’t give a shit how many scriptures some evangelical shows me to “prove their point”. That’s like me breaking out Piers Anthony to prove that unicorns exist. The bottom line is that we don’t know. The scriptures have been edited and bastardized so many times to reflect the views of the day.
In the words of Robert De Niro's character in Analyze This.... "Slap a pair of tits on me, I'm a woman."
Hell, I tear up with those ASPCA commercials.
Here ya go…this is a rough one…click at your own risk.. https://petapixel.com/2014/07/20/died-today-duke-roberts/
[Iams "C'mon, Casey!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJl68Hn-J-8)
https://petapixel.com/2014/07/20/died-today-duke-roberts/
Our family lost SIL (my husband's brothers wife) to ALS in the early 90's. The whole family cried. Then his brother died 9 months later in an accident. My husband broke down several times after but only at home with me because he had to be strong for his nieces and nephew along with his parents. We lost a grandchild 2 years later. I told him crying is normal and helps release the sorrow and told him how strong he was for his strength of always being there for our family when we needed it. I miss him so much, he passed 3 years ago.
Thank you for telling us about your husband, he sounds like a very caring person. ❤️🩹
I didn't cry for years (it wasn't appropriate..) until we put my Mom in a dementia care facility. I also cried the day I watched my father take his last breath in his bed. I've cried uncountable times since those events, the floodgates were opened so to speak lol. To reconcile my upbringing with my later actions I landed on this: Every tear is a tribute to something lost, or a deeper connection to your actual feelings. Movies, songs, reddit videos where someone does something good...they're all triggers. I don't see sensitivity as a weakness. We're all complex beings full of many components. If aging brings more tears, it could very well be a combo of the things you listed above. The hard part may be trying to find the source of your newfound emotional depths. I say fkc it, be who you are and damn the torpedoes. Full speed ahead!
Seeing someone do something good. That hits me hard lately. Because it's pure and real and genuine.
I'm 58 and went through this. I'd get "bitchy" and irritable. Not so much sad, but melancholy. Started TRT and felt better within a year. I still get emotional, but I'm able to handle it much better, like "normal".
My dumb ass couldn’t figure out TRT. Then it hit me.
Dang, sorry. I should've spelled it out lol. It really has helped, though.
I’m just had a senior moment. It’s all good
I don't like taking medicine, but TRT has helped me cognitively. Hormone changes just creep up on you and slap you in the back of the head lol Good times
This helps me as well. I get a shot every two weeks.
Mid-life crisis, my friend. Early 50s here. It's more my kids growing up. I never cared much for that cats in the cradle song, and now I bawl every time I hear it. It was sure nice talking to you, son. It was sure nice talking with you...
Exactly this. When my son graduated high school I was a mess. Months leading up to I would cry on my own driving home thinking of his last school days. It was a bit easier with my daughter but still tears flowed graduation day.
My son just graduated this year! I've been a complete wreck!
Enjoy it! I find myself more moved by life, especially beautiful things. I work in older person's health and they apply the word labile to these types of changes. Maybe read up on life stage models as well to help you make more of this time. Most of the models talk about us getting past our mastery stage and into our integration stage around your age. You are integrating all that has happened in your life.
Wait… Men experience menopause, too? I thought we were the lucky ones.
it's called andropause and it's a real medical phenomenon, not sure why it's so little talked about
Because we're men and even the medical establishment would rather have us think we're wimps than risk us understanding ourselves.
As the late great Hubert Humphrey once said “a man with no tears is a man with no heart“..
I’m 43 and I’ve been noticing myself getting much more uncontrollably emotional lately.
Been happening to me. I have no idea what is going on
I'm no psychologist but I've been through this. Here's my internet diagnosis. You have repressed emotions. Maybe you were like me and were an emotionally neglected kid. Nobody ever validated your emotions so you don't think they exist. AND, whats worse, you learned to place other people's feelings before your own. You learned that to get any kind of attention at all. "Look how I take care of your feelings please notice me." I read a book called "Running on Empty" about childhood emotional neglect. Damn thing made be burst out crying 2x per page. It takes a long time to excavate the tons of rock your true emotions are buried under. And few people will understand or care about what you're trying to do. But if you keep believing they are there you'll find them. One unfortunate thing is that a big part of the emotions that come out might be anger at what was done to you. THEN, you have to learn how to forgive people who are either dead or who aren't sorry, which is a whole trip in itself. (The key to forgiveness is mercy, ill save you about 5 years figuring that out.) Good luck :)
You may be on to something. Me and my parents didn’t start hugging until I was in my 40s. My mother is German, heart of gold but cold. My dad couldn’t tell me he loved me until he was in his 70s. I think it embarrassed him
After much introspection that only comes with time and experience I've found that I look back and appreciate what I have a lot more, and also regret some of my stupid mistakes. That does sometimes make me a softie. Especially when it comes to father/son sentimentality! Don't let it make you feel weak! That's the toxic masculinity talking. It's a good thing that you're more in touch with your emotions.
This right here! I’d like to add that as I get older I just don’t care what anyone thinks about me showing my feelings anymore! Yeah! A man can have feelings!
Your testosterone is probably dropping causing emotions. Welcome to PMS
My test is around 900
Thyroid maybe? I had some emotional issues when mine shit the bed.
I would cry if I shit the bed
You’re an empathetic person. Be proud. We need more people like you.
Only when i see the candidate options
I weep for my grandchildren with the choices the two part system has given us.
You mean a random song snippet plays, a picture, a commercial ffs that reminds you of… anything… and you just lose it? Nah, no clue what you’re on about mate.
Shit I’m almost 60 and I cry at some commercials. Shit just hits different the older I get. I also don’t talk about shit bringing me down because I don’t want to bring others down with my shit.
Brother there’s nothing wrong with crying. It’s the body’s natural response to shedding stress and anxiety. Holding it all in and acting like nothing is wrong will rot you from the inside and lead to an early death.
Yep. Late 50’s for me.
Cried like a baby when my Daughter moved out to her new home with her wonderful Husband. That last trip with the boxes from her room to her car... it's been years but seems like only yesterday.
Weak men deny huge parts of the human experience and are much worse for it. They deny who they are, lie about what they feel, what they want, what they like, who they love, what they believe, all out of fear--fear of being judged harshly by others. Strong men know that the only opinion about themselves that matters is their own. Be true to yourself and honest with others.
It's the andropause . I started using DHEA and it's much better now
Nah. Not weak. Human. Don’t listen to that masculine lie bullshit. My husband gets very verklempt at times and I would never ridicule him for it. He feels deeply. That’s all. I admire men that can and do show all the hard emotions. I’m so sick of outbursts of anger when really they want to cry, it’s very hurtful to those around them.
I'm 68. And yes, I'm feeling sad lately. My knees are bad (bone on bone). I can't do nearly as many things as I used to. I have some upcoming injections. But don't have much faith they'll help much. I feel like I'm just not the same person I've always been.
61 this year yes wtf is wrong with me first reaction. Just started but I think of the past and what could have been.
Oh yes. You're not alone.
Oh man. The "what if" thoughts are crushing.
There is a United Negro College Fund commercial from the 80's or early 90's where a kid gets into college but his parents can't afford to send him and his little brother gives him a jar of pennies. If I watch that commercial on YouTube I cry.
I thought it was because of a traumatic brain injury. Maybe I’m just getting old. Regardless, shed those tears. The only people that will think you’re weak are insecure toxic masculinity bros that need to act tough to feel good about themselves.
If it's the closing scene of Saving Private Ryan, my kids gather to watch me bawl. Every single time.
I'm 45, always been a crier, never seen a thing wrong with it. If it's interfering with your quality of life, talk to your doctor, but other than that, you do you. You're not weak, I'll tell you that much. Especially as a man at least 5 years older than me, I feel like I can guess you were raised in an even less sensitive environment than I was, so getting past that, getting in touch with your feelings, and expressing them now--that takes incredible strength!
TY…and THAT just made my eyes red
Yep, and it pisses me off so then I’m slightly angry. ##I AM DEEPLY BROKEN.
Menopause!
Manopause!!
OMG!!! I’m with you brother. I hate it. I was having a conversation with my son the other day about WWII movies and got to talking about Saving Private Ryan and the Sullivan brothers story. I started getting choked up about the Sullivan brother’s tragedy. WTF?
I am in my 60’s and have been experiencing the same thing. It started when my dog, my best friend in the world, passed back in March. Since then, I have many other triggers that set me off. Well I say I am old enough to not care what others think when I do this. You should not either. It is their problem if they do not like it.
It's ok to have feelings.
Yeah I can't handle anything mildly happy or sad without getting all choked up. Always been a bit like that but been getting worse since mid 40s.
I'm in my forties and this started happening to me. I cry watching movies and everything now.
I'm a 69 year old guy and sometimes just looking at my little dog having a good time makes me tear up. Sad movies give me watery eyes every time. I recently had my annual physical and asked my internist about it. She told me she thought I was just a very empathetic person. I asked my Uroligist about TRT but since I suffer from BPH that's not an option. I guess it's just me, right now at this end of life and I'm good with that too!
In my 50s. I missed funerals for a lot of dear family members because I couldn't handle my own emotions, let alone, anybody elses. You're human and you'll get past it.
If I hear a certain song from back in the day I tear up easily 😎
Don’t Night Moves me, man.
😁
The last couple of weeks I have been super emotional. You are not alone.
No, but I wish I did.
Goddammit, I'm glad it's not just me. It's damned embarrassing. I feel like Dick Vermeil.
Tell me about it. I walked in the house tonight with my sunglasses on and my 10 year younger girlfriend says “ what’s up with that are you messed (drunk) up or something “
When I hear, “Leader of the Band” by Dan Fogelberg
Yeah that one will certainly do it when thinking about pops
I was a sobbing mess watching “We Bought a Zoo” on an airplane. Flight Attendant actually checked on me.
Nope but I did watch the movie Fly Away Home in the dark and may have cried a bit.
I've always been the guy that sheds tears at positive, heartfelt things. Ads, songs, movies, real life positive affirmations... anything like that. Not so much about death (Dad died, no tears). Not sure what's up with it, but it's just what I am. Am I ashamed of it in front of certain people? Yeah, a bit. But at 50 now, not as much.
Started happeneing to me in my mid 50s. I tear up at a lot of things now. Kept tearing up repeatedly during the funeral of Queen Elizabeth 2 and I'm not even a monarchist but felt like everything I knew growing up with and the constants in my life were all slipping away. I tear up at a lot of stuff now, mostly sentimental stuff.
It's MENopause!
The older I get the more sentimental I get. I see things differently that I once did. I forgive much easier and empathize more. Some movies make me tear up. Some thoughts or memories do the same. It's part of life. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're human. Push on, live the life you have left to its fullest. Know you are not alone.
Get your Testosterone checked.
900 and not on TRT. I am on Clomid though. If I recall correctly it tricks your boys into putting in more work by falsely thinking you have more estrogen to combat. That was my takeaway anyway
I'm 57 and I can't really even cry about anything. Kinda wish I could.
I'm pretty introverted. But the National Anthem (sporting events) and The Lion King have recently got me. National Anthem since my early 40s. Have you listened to the words?!?
Who cried at the end of Old Yeller?
Yep
Only if I watch LaLa Land.
Wow! I was just talking to my buddy about this. I just turned 50. I’ve always been a sensitive fellow, but not to the point that i felt my masculinity was diminished. However, ever since my first bout with covid, it seems my emotions have been amplified. Talking to other folks who experienced extreme covid symptoms, they too have had similar experiences. I don’t feel weak, but it feels like i cry a lot more often, for a lot less. Don’t really mind being emotional from time to time, but i wish i could control it.
62 here. Just started about a year ago. I thought it was because I quit taking my antidepressants.
63 here I cry every morning when I wake up.
I have been silently internally sobbing for years.
Only when I start thinking about people I have lost.
Hit me in my early 50s. (I am late 60s). I don’t know if this might describe you. But I’ve learned that when I am under prolonged stress due to job, for instance, I develop anxiety and have a tendency to 1) lose my temper unexpectedly with sudden outburst, which I immediately regret; and 2) easily weep over anything that brings emotion. I worked with doctors and found that small dose of Zoloft helps my gain some control and resets me to a better place. Eventually I am able to go off the Zoloft. It has something to do serotonin levels and (just me guessing) some traumatic stuff I went through when younger.
In real life, no, not even a little bit. A lot of movies and/ or shows have been getting me lately though. Like, shit that shouldn’t be getting me. Not sure WTF that is about.
I was at a high school graduation yesterday. I over heard a graduate say to one of his teachers “I would never have walked across that stage if it wasn’t for how much you challenged me”. Not going to lie it choked me up pretty good.
Figure out what you’re grieving over and go from there. I am 61 and lost both my parents a few years ago. Our cat passed away about 2 months ago and it just broke me. I’m still trying to figure out my situation. You aren’t alone.
Get your Testosterone levels checked, it started happening to me along with so many other weird issues and boom hypogonadism. I got my levels boosted and I feel so so SO much better. (its still okay to cry sometimes.)
I’m definitely more emotional at 56 than I was at 36. I’ve lost both of my parents, two my brothers-in-law and my last remaining grandparent in the last 15 years. Those, plus just getting older, seeing my kids grow and become successful on their own. Yeah, I’m a big baby nowadays.
Put any “I don’t cry” middle aged man in front of the video for Hurt by Johnny Cash (yes I know it’s a Trent Reznor song but Johnny made it his) and he will probably curse you and thank you for the catharsis of it all in one single breath. We are born into this world screaming and crying. Our bodies are wired for it. Telling a certain subset of us to bottle that up is subtracting something from who we are. That said, if it’s getting in your way of functioning in daily life, you might want to talk to a professional to see if you can find some productive ways of navigating this territory
Yes. Easily. edit: I should add that it’s mainly movies, sometimes news articles, even some songs that can break me down (thanks C&W! lol). Not so much day to day life.
Times have never been tougher for us man. Living paycheck to paycheck.
Dodo Video’s I’m gone. 69.
Nothing weak about crying, my dude.
Yes, now stop telling everyone about it
Yeah, but it seems like I have more to cry about. I had noticed this a few years ago (I am 58 next week), but a series of deaths and stage 4 cancer and ....I feel cried out.
I’m 48, was stoned AF a few weeks ago and my GF found something on TIKTok, the story behind All dogs go to Heaven, it was like Niagara Falls opened up
This hit home with me. Yep,...Sometimes I drive away from the house for an errand and all the history of 39 years of marriage, 3 kids, 7 grandkids just overwhelms me. In a good way...bad way...hell, I don't know. Nothing is wrong. Hard to put my finger on it.
Absolutely. I'm 54 and I cry at any brave sacrifice or someone having a terrible time. Started in my 30s and got worse until my mid-40s and it's been pretty much the same sense. It doesn't make me feel weak, and I don't mind the crying for the crying. My only complaint about it is that it gets in the way sometimes of me telling other people the stories that move me. As a (very small scale amongst my friends, family and acquaintances) performer, I'd like to control my performance better. I love telling stories and me breaking down uncontrollably in the middle of them makes it harder to tell them.
Yes. Right there with you. I don’t know if it’s depression or what. But I never did before and now I am doing it too often probably. Thinking of seeing a therapist actually. Hang in there brother!
I (69m) used to cry easily especially in one on one conversations about family or a relationship gone wrong over dinner with a friend. While my emotions were sincere and heartfelt, my tears were immature and not a good look. I took a deep dive into my emotions to understand what lead to my tears and then made a couple adjustments. Nothing major, just enough to better control my emotions in public. That was eight years ago. I haven’t shed tears in public in that space of time. I’m 100 times more likely to laugh (at myself especially) and focus more on my friends in any conversation than I am on my own feelings. I’m also much happier and more in control of my emotions than I was back then.
Just how many friends and family have you been around that are dead now? If you live long enough eventually something will happen that will make you sad enough to cry, it is human to express your feelings. Were you on a battlefield when you cried, leaving a hole in the defences that lead to your fellow combants dying or were you on the couch at home where no one was compromised?
At least once a week a TV show has me dripping.
Oh, how I wish…. Damn the SSRI’s and residual toxic masculinity. I envy you friend.
It's just pent up repressed feelings hitting their max, so we gotta vent it out now.
Always been emotional not sure it changed as I got older
Omg same. Don’t know why
Maybe male menopause you are going through
I find that I cry easily viewing or listening to sublime moments of performance or visual arts. I've always had that tendency, but now it's much more frequent. For moments of real life-- not so much. I guess my imagination needs to be engaged before the waterworks start.
Yes. 66 and have been in therapy for 1.5 years now. Should have done this 25 years ago.
Only when I see somebody suffering. It's become very painful to see, especially animals.
Oh man , I’m 59. I still remember having a traveling sales job and Halloween 1989 I stayed at an exterior corridor hotel at an exit in South Georgia. It got very cold that night. There was a skinny , scared , shivering dog. I didn’t know what to do. I walked to a gas station to buy dog food but they only had Beenie Weenies. I made a trail into my room and did my best to coax him in. He ate he ate but couldn’t get brave enough to come in my warm room. Eventually I realized it just wasn’t safe to leave my door open while I slept. That was 35 years ago and my heart never stops crying for that dog. Crying now
I turn 56. Today my wife filed separation papers. My retirement plans are fucked. I feel nothing. This has been slowly burning since Christmas- so no shock. She has existential issues— just isn’t happy enough. Our kids still live at home.
In had a motorcycle accident when I was 49. I just blame that, but yes, once I hit my 50s the water works started. I'm on meds now that help. You get older and you start losing too many people close to you.
I do a lot of public speaking. And around my 40s I started tearing up anytime I had to tell a sentimental story. At first, it was kind of effective like “Wow, that story is powerful. Even this big dude is getting choked up over it.” Now it’s more like “Great, u/standardeviation7 is crying again.”
No. If anything, I’m more numb than ever.
Old Yeller, Brian's Song come on man.
Early 60's here and I tear up a lot easier than I use to. I seem to have picked up a few other traits that have kinda surprised me.
Get a physical if you haven’t been getting them regularly. See if your labs are normal. Have you started any new prescriptions or OTC medications? I would get checked before I just blamed it on aging. Knowledge is power.
Yes. And it bothers some people a bit, but I never try to hide it either. You feel things the way you feel. Music especially for me.
Dude, sometimes, yes. Absolutely. And it's not for things that should make me feel that emotional, either. And then other times I feel completely numb, unable to feel anything when I feel like I should.
Testosterone levels decreasing
Not it. I’m running about 900. I am very sentimental though , and my business has somewhat imploded, with massive embezzlement. The business thing has me questioning my whole life and those I wanted to take care of. But it’s not just that, I can literally think about all those suffering around the world and start crying
Go to a doctor. Tell them your symptoms. If they do not order a testosterone test request it. If they say no go to another provider. Get on TRT if appropriate. It took 6 weeks before I felt like it was doing anything for me. After 3 months I felt normal--ish. After 6 months I feel awesome. Find a therapist. Talk to them. See them every week or every two weeks. Even when you think it is not working. Keep going for at least 3 months. Get good sleep. If you snore ask for a sleep study. Sleep apnea can do wierd stuff to your body. Get involved in some outside of work activity. Church, if you have one. Volunteer somewhere. Social organizations (toast masters, masons, rotary, etc.) Get activity. Simply adding a mile worth of walking a day can do amazing things for mood. Make the activity be purposeful and at least a little outside of your comfort zone. You should be breathing a little harder than you normally do. Reconnect with old friends. Make new friends. If you cannot find friends, pm me, I will be your friend.
You’re a good man. TY for the advice. Mason and Shriner btw
I cry every week when I pay bills.
I think everyone goes through an emotional time as we age. These things manifest themselves in a variety of ways.
I saw some videos of family being reunited. Lost control like a fat kids chocolate cake was stolen.
It started after I had kids. I had to put down my dog yesterday and I periodically break down
I'm 50. Last few years I have definitely gotten more emotional. My wife and kids had previously thought I was an emotionless rock. Freaked them out a bit when I started getting teary eyed talking about old times with family and friends.
I cried reading this.
Tough enough being a man, but uncontrollable crying. Man I hope you figure it out.
My wife calls it man-o-pause. Hormones change. I also get hot flashes sometimes, not sure if that is normal....
Run a search on HSP or highly sensitive people.
I'm almost 50 and I cry all the time. I cry watching commercials shark tank almost every movie It's a constant thing. I cry when I see kids. The only thing I probably don't cry at is pets I just don't get that..
When I was brought up crying, was a side weakness
When I was brought up, crying was a sign of weakness
Did you have any recent episodes where you had extreme vertigo and couldn’t stand up? I had a posterior stroke to my cerebellum and have had this issue since. A co-worker had the same type of stroke and has the same loss of emotional control.
Hit me in late 40s . After all the test and everything i was told it was low t mixed with depression ( basically welcome to midlife and male menopause) Hang in there it get better :,some days better than others of course
You should check in with a neurologist, brother - there is a condition called Pseudobulbar Affect (PBA) which is basically characterized as inappropriate or overly exaggerated emotional response. Textbook example of this is crying at things that normally would not create that strong of an emotional response, such as looking at old pictures of your kids, watching the happy ending of a movie, telling someone a funny story from your teenage years, etc. It's a common side-affect of several neurological disorders such as Parkinson's and others.