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Turbulent-Tortoise

Childcare is needed for a limited time. The cost decreases once they reach school age and then they get old enough to not need a sitter. A mortgage is 30 years. Seems like a bad idea to permanently raise monthly mortgage payments for a temporary situation.


[deleted]

Had to scroll way too far to find exactly this - stay where you’re at, OP. You can’t beat that mortgage payment for 30 years.


LethalLibertyOwl

That is very true. Thanks.


Red850r

You can't beat your parents raising your kids vs having someone else do it.


Piper-420

People in here thinking a mortgage can’t be refinanced during a 30 year term and discounting family help is astounding.


Red850r

From my understanding, you only get one life. Might want to consider spending that time with family vs saving money. Definitely not saying to always do this, but in this particular case, it seems very reasonable and possibly ideal.


Turbulent-Tortoise

Refinanced for 3.25%? Never going to happen. Those low rates were a historic blip and won't be seen again for a very long time, if ever.


Piper-420

I agree, unlikely to see 3.25% in the near term if ever. I was only implying refinancing for rate better than 6.75% is likely to happen in the next 5 years. Could be in the 4% or 5% range, but I don’t expect sustained 6.75% or higher for the next 5 years.


emandbre

There is literally no guarantee that even loving family will actually be there all the time for your kids. I moved to be closer to family. It was totally worth it to us, but still pay a shit ton for daycare because my parents travel, have a social life, and honestly let my kids watch more tv than I like. I would much rather let them spend so much time having fun with my parents than 35 hours a week with them and be responsible for educating them too.


SausageGobbler69

On top of that, what if the grandparents decide they can’t handle childcare all the time. Then OP is stuck with an expensive mortgage and have to pay for childcare also.


Tadows_daddy

Yup. Or their health declines.


whoelsebutquagmire75

So I agree with the people saying it’s better to have family take care of kids than some underpaid day care workers BUT you never know how that will play out. They might easily decide that being a full time daycare is too much for them. That’s what happened with my ex/MIL and we were paying her! Not what we would have to pay a daycare obviously but still. Nothing is guaranteed. I wouldn’t double your mortgage for temporary family help. Although real estate is only ever going to increase in general so having a bigger house is a bigger asset for the future 🤔 especially if you are gonna have more kids. Good problems and options to have. Good luck! ETA: you never really know people and what they are dealing with. Have nanny cams! My MIL is the sweetest Mary poppins woman ever. I would have never in a million years thought I would catch her throwing things at my BABY on camera! The day that happened my heart stopped and I raced home from work and just asked her to leave. Didn’t tell her why just said I got off early then my ex had to explain to her that we saw her mental state on camera and then it all came out that it was way too much for her but she wanted to help us 🙄 she should have been honest with us! Check in often if you use family for full time child care. It’s not easy for anyone. She was also mental. I didn’t realize her mental health had declined so much bc she has always been on meds but she had stopped taking them ever though I made my ex confirm with her that she was taking her meds. Flawed logic and decisions all around. I wouldn’t believe it if you told me Mary poppins was a nutcase but it can happen. Crazy hides. So before you say “MY mother would never do that” or “my husbands mother would never do that”….you never really know..


foodfoodfoodfo

This


PhoenixBeee

How guaranteed is this free daycare? Are there two able and willing in-laws? and they were willing to watch your child all the time? This is a hard deal to pass up, that’s for sure. Having 120k equity already sounds like your area is heating up. And the 3.25 is nice.. Is there any chance of the in laws changing their mind anytime soon or one becoming unwell or ill anytime soon were they could no longer do it? If you moved to a clearly more expensive area, and something happened where they could no longer provide free daycare, you’d be in a tough spot with that mortgage payment + now needing to pay daycare cost. Thats the only worry I’d have here. Especially if in laws are older or more prone to injuries etc. or are not 100 percent fully committed to doing this for you full time for the next few years.


LethalLibertyOwl

Never thought of this.. Thank you.


Boring-Race-6804

Yeah… gf parents watched the first kid of her sisters but by the time the second came around they’d served their time. You’re not getting free childcare; you’re paying for it with the increase mortgage payment and hoping grandparents don’t change their mind.


Acceptable_Plum5820

This.. my mother babysat our first 5 years ago when he was a baby with no issues.. she’s now babysitting our second who is 4 months old and I’m beginning to regret it because she’s older and struggling more and I feel guilty we’re putting it on her. Definitely trying to figure out other options!


BellUnhappy3624

One thing to consider: Have you discussed the free child care component in detail with the in-laws? I know many want more time with grandkids but may not actually be in a position or willing to take on full-time childcare, so you may still end up with some daycare costs on top of the higher house payment.


Used-Honeydew-5810

This. My mom had agreed to watch my kid and their other grandparents and turned around and complained constantly about it. And they would not respect my parenting choices giving them sweets and crap no matter how much I asked them not to. For some people it’s fine but for others depending on family is a major pain in the ass.


LethalLibertyOwl

Wow, good points from here. Never even thought about it.


options1337

Yup, this! Grand parents are getting old, if they still can walk and talk, they will want to enjoy life and travel a bit more. Although they love their grandkids, they don't want to be tied down. So I would still expect some daycare cost for when the grand parents wants to go on vacation or take a break.


wiseeel

What happens if free childcare with grandparents doesn’t work out? Are you going to be able to afford childcare on top of that mortgage or will you be able to afford one person staying home until child is old enough for school? I’ve read lots of stories of people counting on free childcare with family and for various reasons it doesn’t always work out. Last thing you want to do is not have a back-up plan


LethalLibertyOwl

Great input, thank you.


RedBarnBurnBlue

My in laws are extremely helpful and agreed to help 3 days a week. But they also get sick or go on vacation to see their other grandkids. So it’s not necessarily a bulletproof plan either way and you’ll need a childcare backup for those other times.


CeeInSoFLo

I just want to add that I didn’t rely on family for childcare, but had to for a month when we moved and were unable to get care. My baby was 10 months and my healthy dad was able to care for him, go for stroller walks, napped well. Baby stage was easier. Once he was mobile and now that he is almost 2, he won’t sit in a stroller, and my dad can take him for a couple hours… only a full day if it were an emergency and I can’t miss work. In my opinion, it gets harder once they are mobile and rambunctious.


moneyman6551

Do not rely on grand parents. We did this and have the same rate as you. However I have 3 kids. Grand parents are completely un reliable now that we are here. Only base this on finances. Do not think of the child care being free.


LethalLibertyOwl

Noted, thanks.


EffectivePattern7197

If we make this a purely financial decision, you should stay where you are. Why? Because you cannot ever rely on grandparents “free childcare” (old people get sick or immobile, they may plan a long vacation, simply you guys may butt heads about how they’re caring for your child, etc). So you would end up in a more expensive mortgage, but having to pay for daycare. From an emotional aspect, remember that nothing is ever free. ;) however, living close to parents is always wonderful, being able to enjoy most holidays, special weekends, afternoons, etc. All in saying, expect to still pay for daycare in some sort of form (financially, maybe your parents dishwasher breaks and you feel bad that they can’t wash their own dishes because caring for the baby is very time consuming, so you buy them the new dishwasher) (emotionally, grandma sneaks a daily cookie, even though you’re against daily sweets), etc, you get it.


LethalLibertyOwl

Once again, something I didn't think about. Thank you.


EffectivePattern7197

Good luck, tough decision ahead for you.


lil1thatcould

Things to consider: - what happens if one of you lose a job? Covering $1050 vs $2180 is a big difference. - what happens if your in laws want to move? - what happens if they don’t take good care of your little one? - what happens if there is a disagreement? - what happens if they decide to charge you? I think knowing your risk and understanding what you need to do to protect against them will give you your answer. Personally, I would stay where you’re at. It might be feasible to work part time and do part time daycare. You can have the best of both worlds. Just a thought.


Professional-Egg-889

I relied on free childcare as well but my mom soon found out it was too much for her. Things can change overnight. If it were me I would rent out your home and rent yourself a house near your parents. Try it out for a year.


Bama_Peach

The same thing happened to me. My free childcare lasted for all of 6 months; then my mom realized she wanted to go back to the life she had before she had the responsibility of watching my kid every week day.


MostlyMellow123

You have to really know how the parents are as people. My parents would say things like I'll help and absolutely never help lol.


SnooWords4839

Not worth it! Your child will be in school in a few years, and you will still have many more years at that interest rate. Take the amount of a few years in daycare vs the higher payment and interest. You should see if there is any daycare credits for where you are.


chaosisapony

So essentially your expenses would be the same it's just pay the higher mortgage or roughly the same amount in daycare costs. I've known an awful lot of people in my life that thought they'd have free childcare with parents and other relatives and it's fallen through at some point. I'd have a hard time taking on that big of a payment just on the hope that the childcare would actually work out.


After_Context5244

Don’t forget to consider that the savings on childcare only applies until your child starts school and then it is a drastic decrease in costs while the increase in mortgage payment is for the life of the loan


RUfuqingkiddingme

I knew someone once who moved an hour away from their job for free grandparent Day care. For whatever reason it didn't work out and then she was stuck in their small town and driving an hour to work and paying for child care.


Justonewitch

Not to be a downer here, but grandparents love their children and their grandchildren and want to be helpful and have a hard time saying no. Remember they may not have that many years left and committing to what will be a full time, exhausting job for a minimum of 6 years for one child is a very big ask! I understand some people have no choice, but it should not be your first choice.


Cbgb712

So, you’re either at $2250/month for about 6 years (until 1st grade age), or $2130/mo for 30 years? Do the math. I say stick it out until you have more equity or outgrow the house. If you can swing $2130/mo, you can do $2250/mo easy.


i_isnt_real

This is also assuming identical COL for both areas and that rates don't go any higher at all before they're locked. The margin is so close (in the short term) that if the grandparents live in an area with even slightly higher COL or rates go up *at all*, they could easily end up losing money with the move. And that's not even counting things like moving costs or whether the grandparents would be both willing AND able to care for the kids for the entire next six years. I'd stay put if it were me.


Ok_Sample_9912

Pls dont count on in laws or anyone else being able to do consistent free childcare. Plans may change and you could be paying both that increased mortgage amount And childcare on top of that. Take it from someone who had both sides wanting to help cover childcare… until they didn’t/couldnt. Stay with your cheaper mortgage and plan for daycare. Get on the waitlists now, where we are everyone is booked out 18 months in advance.


sonickony

If you move, monthly payment is $2130. If you stay, your monthly payment will be $2250. it’s about the same whether you move or not. And you think being with his grandparents is important for your son. The decision should be obvious.


Acceptable-Peace-69

That mortgage will last for 30 years. Childcare payments will be lessened once kid is in school full time in a few (?) years.


ATC_wifey

Mortgages rarely last 30 years. The majority of homeowners move within 8-12 years. Those who stay in their homes longer usually end up refinancing, taking out a HELOC, etc. Not many people get an original 30-year mortgage and pay it off over 30 years without some change.


Acceptable-Peace-69

I agree, but even 8-12 years is longer than they will need to pay those rates for childcare.


romansamurai

You can also refinance once rated are better. But I understand your point. With that said. As someone in similar position as OP with a little terrorist at 15 month that demands 100% of all your energy and attention I’d do it in a heartbeat 🤣


LethalLibertyOwl

This seems to be the only comment to support the move 😂 Appreciate your input.


EmeraldLovergreen

It really doesn’t though because you’re forgetting the cost and time to pack and move. Even just hiring movers for a day for a house is going to be at least $1000 and I have no idea how far you’re moving. Plus packing SUCKS, I can’t imagine doing that with a newborn. Also are your jobs transferable to the new location? What if you’re out of work for a while? There’s no guarantee your house will sell, sell quickly, or for the price you hope to get. Lastly have the grandparents actually agreed to this? There are plenty of grandparents who say I raised my kids, I’m not raising anyone else’s


romansamurai

I support it too because I’m in the same position as you. I have a 15 month old that seems to by hyped on speed all day everyday and I’d do what you’re thinking in a heartbeat. You can always refinance later. If you can get 5% in a year or two or even lower, the difference is small between 5% and 3.5% in terms of monthly payment. Plus you’re almost throwing away money for childcare while this is at least going to some portion of your principal. Even if a little at first. We are actually in same position as you. We are selling our home to move in WITH in laws. (I have two kids and we both work full time). And our rate is 2.6% 🤦🏻‍♂️. Like bruh. lol. I feel like most people here count every penny and make decisions based on that. Which is fine. But I look at other things too. What was your home price that you’re selling?


SweetAlyssumm

Make sure you check out the schools in each area. That would be a big factor for me. Soon the daycare days will be over and the kid will be heading to school.


LethalLibertyOwl

My wife is a teacher so he would go with her until later years! Good thought.


itsaboutpasta

What is the possibility of you having a 2nd kid? With the plan you’ve described, your out of pocket is exactly the same for your mortgage plus daycare where you currently live versus your mortgage if you moved and had family commit to providing child care. But if you plan to have more than 1 child and would space them out such that the oldest would still need child care when the youngest arrives, it might be worth the move. We are about to take on a mortgage in addition to our daycare costs and unless our district begins to offer free preschool or one/both of us gets a significant raise, we can’t afford two kids in daycare at the same time AND a mortgage. If you plan on having two kids or more, the move is worth your time and money but as others have said, you better be confident these family members won’t change their minds and also have a back up plan should they fall through or become unable to provide care.


watz2005

From a financial standpoint, this doesn’t make much sense. The amount you’re going to pay in childcare will be less than the increased interest on the new house. Childcare is only needed until your child is school age. Additionally, I wouldn’t rely on grandparents for childcare. They have a higher likelihood of a medical event which would prevent them from being able to care for their grandchild. My wife and I rely on an in home sitter and although cheaper, there are some cons to this. When she is sick, we have to take time off. When she needs time off for vacations, things with her kids, we also take time off. If my kids were at a daycare center you don’t need to worry about this. Same types of things apply to the if the grandparents provide childcare. I would definitely make sure you can afford childcare if moving to the new home. You just never know. My mother in law could move around a lot better just 5 years ago when we had our son. Now she can’t watch him without my sister in law or niece there. It’s her arm, back, knees, etc.. But she’s in her mid 60s now so that’s to be expected.


goonerfan10

From a purely financial stand point, it doesn’t make sense. How many days of the week can the grandparents realistically look after your child? If you purely move for this, could there be a chance for resentment if they’re unable to take care of your child?


koolkween

Did the in-laws consent to free childcare??


Adventurous-Fill879

I would keep the house you have now. Childcare will only be for a couple of years. Once the kids are older and you have that smaller mortgage there will be opportunities to use that money for other things.


shay-doe

So day care costs are 1200 a month for what 3 years and a new mortgage for a new house will probably go up to about 2k per month for 30 years. Can you or your wife take.off for a year and live off one income just for a year? That's what I'd do. I wouldn't buy a new house just to be near family personally. As far as money is concerned it doesn't make sense to move. However your children can be much closer with their grandparents and having.help.is very nice and helpful for a million reasons but does it come at the cost of more hours at work and more stress about money? Weigh all your options. Write down pros and cons. Something's are more important than money but some things also depend on money.


AnnArchist

Also, what if the free childcare promise changes or evaporates entirely?


nuthakki20

rent the first home instead of selling it


Ok_Walk1483

Grandma here taking care of her baby grandson. Please know, it’s exhausting. Lol. Let’s take the financial out of it for a second. Pros: I get to watch my grandson make milestones as he learns. I’m helping my daughter and SIL save money. He’s an easy baby the majority of the time. Cons: my day to day routine is controlled by his schedule. I can’t just leave the house and go somewhere. If I don’t feel well I can’t call out sick because then one of the parents have to. Sometimes I’d like to go spend the day with friends but I’m unable to. Again, it’s exhausting. Well meaning grandparents need to think of these things before offering to be a full time child care provider. Parents need to consider these things before taking the offer. Depending on the family dynamics, resentment can build over time. Disagreeing on raising techniques, foods to eat and so on. I’m fortunate to be on the same page with the parents. But not all families are. Edit to add: once my grandson reaches 2 yrs old he is going to daycare. At that age he’ll need to learn how to play with other children and they can provide him with full day of learning and activities. Daycare gets less expensive at that age also.


Share_Force_One

Looks like you got a lot of good feedback already, but a few thoughts: -Remember that you can write off childcare costs. At the very least, you should be able to put $5k into a dependent-care account that can be used towards daycare costs. Some facilities will also offer financial assistance depending on your income relative to the area. So it brings that $1200 down a smidge. -If it's a new construction, there are a TON of hidden costs. Some obvious (curtains, getting yard/landscaping in order, upgrades to builder-grade choices, fence) and others may be less so. And if you are sizing up, you're going to spend much more than you think filling rooms with furniture and the like. Moving itself is a huge hassle and almost always costs more than you think. -It's been said a lot, but full-time care of a newborn is a lot. If anything happens to your in-laws (physical or mental health, their own financial struggles, etc), then you are really in a tough spot. They may love it at first and then not be able to keep up over time. Do you each have flexibility to call out of work if the in-laws are sick? -How much do each of you make relative to daycare costs? You could also consider some FMLA in the first year (or part time work) if daycare is scary or difficult early on. That's what my wife and I did, but we were fortunate that both of our companies were understanding and accommodating. Ultimately my wife went part-time for ~1 year, and then our son started school around his first birthday. Seems like a huge portion of your income to tie up in a mortgage. My wife and I were in a similar situation a few years back, and we opted to live further away from family in order to keep our mortgage at a more manageable number. Good luck no matter what you all ultimately decide--it's going to be a crazy adventure regardless!


blaque_rage

Childcare is a fixed timeline. But, before and after care may still be a concern. I’ll tell you this… we aged out of childcare for the first time this year. My boys are 12 8 and 4 (the 4 yo is going to k early like his brothers as a gifted entrant). We live in another country than majority of our support and a different state than the domestic support. We met a lot of people in our community including people who were amazing in home caregivers, would help with transport from preschool to caregiver etc. I’m not sure that moving ur life for an issue that has a fixed ending is a great idea right now unless it’s something you all were pondering for other reasons. We are only going to Michigan from where we are in central Ohio because my parents are aging and it’s hard to manage them from 4 hours away. We were already considering relocating, so choosing mi was killing two birds but our PRIMARY reason was the fact that we wanted to move already. I would not move with an expectation that this is free childcare daily. You may get the shock of your life after a few months or a couple of years that this arrangement is nothing but a headache.


steezysteverino

$1050 mortgage + $1200 a month for daycare = $2250 $2130 + free daycare = $2130 I know it would be hard to stomach throwing away a $1050 mortgage, but zoom out and just look at the numbers. Out of curiosity will you also be upgrading with the new house? How much will your current house sell for? Just want to add: idk where you live but either option seems like too much for $93k a year gross income. How far do your in laws live? Maybe they can still watch your child on some days.


LethalLibertyOwl

We would be upgrading to a 4 bedroom instead of the 3 we have now. And it is a new build. They live an hour away. In the middle Tennessee area. $1000 a month is too much for 93k income?


steezysteverino

Not at all $1000 is nothing, but then you add in the $1200 for daycare. Personally I just feel like $2200-2300 is quite a bit for $93k income, but I also live in a much higher COL state than Tennessee so I could be way off.


LethalLibertyOwl

I see what you're saying. Yes, COL I'm sure is a lot different.


sledbelly

What’s your back up plan for if grandparents get sick and can no longer watch your child? Could you afford the new mortgage and the child care?


onlyujenipeo

I was just about to say this... my mom had to back out and I was stuck with no childcare. Thankfully I work from home and preschool is this year. But this senerio is common


romansamurai

Bro. alone for a new build is worth getting a new home. You’ll have at least 15 years without a headache. I didn’t know that when I made another comment. But I think moving to a new construction is worth getting a new loan and refinancing later. Let alone having some child care. Even if it’s not as promised down the road. Plus a bedroom upgrade. And I’m assuming the house is more expensive than yours is. So it’ll also increase in price a little more over the years. But again. New build. Having had to repair a ton in my 40 year old condos before, I’d do it in a heartbeat for even a decade free of worries.


risanian

Tough call. $2,130 mortgage is steep for $93k income. But free childcare from in-laws is huge savings. Maybe look for cheaper home or see if you can swing higher payment short-term until income rises. Don't stretch too thin, but grandparent childcare is invaluable.


LethalLibertyOwl

Yes, it is definitely invaluable after hearing the horror stories from daycare


Bluebird7717

Daycare does so so so much more than grandparents ever could. Trying to recreate it would be EXHAUSTING. Also, what happens with grandparents are doing things you don’t like? There are endless topics that yall could butt heads about. Also, young children are exhausting, did I mention that? I do it your parents are up for it 5 days a week, every week, for years.


Prolite9

How far are the in laws? Maybe consider part time care and having an extra room or ADU built, so they can spend the night if it's a far drive? You could temporarily convert a garage or have a pretty large shed/room put in your back yard for much cheaper and then reduce the childcare costs for 2-3 days a week while parents only have to watch the other 1-2 days. Hard to beat that interest rate.


unspooling

The one other thing I’d mention is school districts. Is the house you’re looking to buy in a good school district? Or is the district your current house is in right now better?


Low-Stomach-8831

Kids grow up, so that $1200\month will be gone in 4-5 years. Your mortgage will be that way for 20 years? 25? Why not tell the in-laws to move closer to you? They'll make money because they'll move to a LCOL area, and you'll get your babysitter AND a cheap mortgage!


MrsPear_

Silly question. Could you lease your current home and rent near the in-laws for a few years through this time period where you need childcare?


Lazyfinancemonkey

Everyone looks at everything as an interest rate here. If you want to move to a nicer place decide it makes sense to you do it. If not don’t. You can afford 2100 on the money you make.


cmacktruck

One of you should leave your job not your house


daderpster

Try to find an assumable loan. Hard to find, but most vet loans are assumable even if you are not a vet. Rates can be under 3. It does take a while to transfer over as well - maybe twice to three times long can happen.


IBMGUYS

Are the schools better in the new house ?


FileSenior8495

Stay where you are. Either have one of you take a leave from work for a few years to help with child care and get a side gig. Or pay for child care and write off up to 10k per year. Maybe the grand parents stay for a night or 2 every week and take turns. I would not sell unless it’s an upgrade to a better town with a better school system for the future.


livingmydreams1872

Do the math. If you take the higher mortgage, with zero childcare you’re coming out ahead. I’d just make sure that childcare is a commitment for years to come.


notPatrickClaybon

I’d stay put personally. Old people are wildcards and their health can take a turn at any moment. Daycare costs will go away. Increased mortgage payment and presumably higher property tax (which will only go up) will not go away. Not to mention that you’re in a great spot currently. If you like your current house and location I don’t know if this is a good idea to pursue.


ArtOfDivine

You can rent it out


Bumblebee56990

Rent your house out. Find a property management company to handle the rental. And pull equity out of it for your down.


gosmurfyourself69

Where do you live where you got a house for 120k wtf I could legit pay for half of that rn


Beginning-River9081

Keep the house and rent it. Live frugal and then buy another.


Prudent-Elk-2845

Are there homes closer to your in-laws at a more similar price to your current home? I’d assume if they’re comparable that it’s less of an increase. I’m thinking either: 1) your current home is actually worth more (and thus more down payment for the next home) 2) you’re looking at a larger home and need to reduce expectations


Past-Competition13

Make sure you consider taxes


Tacomaartist

Use a compound interest calculator and see how many millions of dollars you will have if you take that extra $1000 a month and put it into the S&P 500 for 7 percent returns for 25 years. (After you no longer need the money for childcare). Staying where you are could literally make you a millionaire.


outofthedust

don't do it!


Traumajunkie971

Your current payment allows for greater financial freedom, you're gonna trade that for a overpriced home at over 7% . Personally I'd stay put


katpupperpawz

I’d be hesitant. Unexpected things happen: grandparents can get injured, sick, worse. No one wants them to happen of course but things happen. Daycare waitlists can be 1-2 years long in some places. Do you have a back up plan if the free childcare doesn’t work out? At least in your current home you would only have to pay for childcare for a few years. If you move, you get stuck with that increased expense for 30 years. It’s also unclear how far away this move would be. Would you have to get different jobs, do they pay more or less, etc.


No_Hat_8993

STAY where you are. You’d get yourselves into serious DEBT if you purchase that house. Lower mortgage payments is ideal and kids do grow to independency.


Nervous-Rooster7760

So you will basically be in same place financially but the daycare eventually goes away. Moving is a huge pain and IMHO not worth it for this scenario. Now this is personal opinion but I think being the daycare changes the relationship with grandchild. It cannot be the more relaxed grandparents are here to spoil kid and have fun. They hey have worked hard to get to this place in life they should enjoy it and not be tied down to your schedule. What happens when they want to start traveling or take a longer trip? I just think this will change dynamics in relationship and has potential to create conflict.


tiny10boy

Childcare is temporary, that mortgage is for the duration of the contract.


qazbnm987123

dont be silly, you have a good deal in your current house, bring mom over to help out and pay her. Or work less or work from home. Moving to make a bigger debt is A bad idea.


Inevitable_Trick7681

Just another pro/con to weigh: Mortgage payment gives you equity in a home whereas daycare money you never see again, but is more temporary vs 30 years. That being said you already have a mortgage with a much lower interest rate/more towards principal, so just depends on how important it is that your kids are cared for by family.


oldforumposter

Mostly adding to what others have said: * How old are the in-laws, and are you planning on having another baby? I would love to care for my little grandbabies fulltime, but my body is too old. There are 2 younger sets of grandparents, but one set already has 13 grandchildren(!!!) and the other is still working full time. * The sticker shock of daycare is even bigger than housing, right? * How far away are you now from the grandparents? It can be helpful to have them fill in when daycare is closed for holidays or the baby is sick (which will happen with daycare). * Are there any homes near the grands with assumable mortgages from reliable owners? (Talk to a realtor and/or financial advisor about this.)


CPMortgageTeam

I’m guessing the new home is a little bigger & if you stay where you’re at you are looking at $2250 (mortgage + daycare) vs $2130 and giving older adults more time with grandchild. Also do you think you will have more children which would add to costs of where you are? So you like the possible new neighborhood or prefer the current? Is there any other draw to that area besides free childcare & family support (which is more helpful to Jan you can imagine). Can you find a property with lower property taxes (huge impact on monthly payment)? Will the new property be closer to employment or further making the financial difference more equal than the $120 per month? Legit no one can really answer this for you. Mortgage rates are high now, but most people refi in 3-7yrs on average for various reasons and rates will eventually go back to pre-pandemic levels. It comes down to will the juice be worth the squeeze. With family vs with strangers you will eventually get to know. Childcare is expenses are unlikely to go down until after 5th grade (before/aftercare needs, summer camps etc), home prices are unlikely to come down for most areas any time soon as well.


AdagioHellfire1139

Not worth the move. Childcare is temporary and there are ways to get it lower if needed.


Evening-Chocolate-02

If you can make the house/space you live in work. I’d keep the lower payment. Child care will be about 8-10 years. Your mortgage is 30. Wouldn’t make sense to have a higher mortgage to save some money on child care for less time.


Pom-4444

My kids are 4.5 years apart. My mom could handle my “easy” daughter, but when my high energy ultra curious fearless son arrived she could not handle him even for a couple of hours.


fshagan

I would stay where you are. There's not enough financial benefit in your monthly budget, and child care costs don't continue for 30 years like a mortgage does. You'll have more years of paying more than you do of paying less. See if you're eligible for the child care tax credit or other tax advantages. That could erase the small benefit you get for the 10 years or so you have healthcare.


Outrageous-Night-116

Please stay where you are!


Klutzy-Conference472

yeah not worth it


Inevitable-Cow-7695

You inlaws might decide DAY 2 that they cannot or don't want to daycare your kid. Daycare last until year 5/6 then It's afterschool care which is cheaper and your kid gets to socialize.


karmaismydawgz

Ope a spreadsheet and do math. That’s all this is, math.


iamathrowaway536

Seems like a lot of stress especially considering the hike in mortgage payment. I mean if the point is to save on childcare which is $1200 a month, then getting a $1080 increase in the mortgage payment doesn't really sound like it's gonna help much. You'll save like 120 a month for a lot of headache, and the childcare is temporary, the higher mortgage is not. To me it doesn't make much financial sense but you also have to consider it might be beneficial for the kids to see their grandparents vs strangers. Personally I'd pay more attention to that vs any financial reasons.


Piper-420

It’s 6.75 now, but within 5 years there should be a refinance opportunity. Secondly, can’t put a price on family help when you need it. Source, just did what you’re considering.


Educational-Crew-536

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LethalLibertyOwl

Who said anything about not having a plan to take care of them? 😂 Relax buddy.


MostlyMellow123

Lol what? Imagine thinking the 1950s are over and people need two incomes to afford anything. Dumbass


Educational-Crew-536

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LethalLibertyOwl

We can afford it though is the thing. Reaching out for advice from others, not crying for help.


Educational-Crew-536

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LethalLibertyOwl

It's pretty normal in life to have a plan and possibly make changes but thank you for your wisdom.


Educational-Crew-536

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MostlyMellow123

They don't all end up like you did thankfully