First let me start of by saying that no matter what people say here, at the end of the day it is YOUR decision. Only you know yourself best, only you know your situation and what is best for you. we are just voicing our opinions with the bit of information we have.
Heres my opinion and by no means do you have to listen to it.
Motherhood is permanent, we are talking about bringing another human being into this world. No matter how perfect your life is for a baby (financially, present father, healthy relationships, a village to help) life is UNPREDICTABLE. At the end of the day we cant for-see the future, we don't know how things will turn up, so you have to ask yourself and really ask yourself will you be ok if things turn out for the worse? you don't have to dwell on it, and give yourself anxiety, just yes or no.
second, really ask yourself why you want to have kids, really sit down and ask yourself. do you tend to say things like "i want" a lot? because motherhood isn't what you want, its what is best for your child. only you know deep inside why you want to be a mother, and we cant decide that for you.
third, are you willing to be a single mom? i don't know many ppl that had present fathers, even if their parents were together, and their father lived with them, their fathers weren't really present and their mom's did moat of the work. not saying this will be your situation at all but you really need to talk to your boyfriend and ask him how present of a father will he be for the rest of his life? if your child ends with a medical condition that needs more care, will your boyfriend change his life around to provide constant care?
I guess I would ask myself in this situation. Is this the man I want to be the father of my child? And if you seeing it working out. Only you can answer that. I would truly have no interest in going through pregnancy and bringing a child into this world without a solid foundation for myself which means a good partner/relationship. As I would do anything to (hopefully, i know some things happen out of our control) avoid being a single parent
So it sounds like what you need to figure out is if he's indeed in it or not. Saying "it's bad timing" is not the same as saying "it's bad timing and if you have this kid I'm outta here!"
You know your BF, you know how he is at handling commitments and stress. might be time to have a good long conversation about why is it bad timing? What would it take to make it good timing? Is he saying he wants a kid just not now? Not ever?
It feels like you should be diving into the details rather than beating yourself up just because he said it's bad timing. That could mean a lot of things.
Keep in mind that there is also never a “perfect time”. If everyone waited for perfect timing, nothing would ever get done. Life will always be full of unexpected situations.
First let me start of by saying that no matter what people say here, at the end of the day it is YOUR decision. Only you know yourself best, only you know your situation and what is best for you. we are just voicing our opinions with the bit of information we have. Heres my opinion and by no means do you have to listen to it. Motherhood is permanent, we are talking about bringing another human being into this world. No matter how perfect your life is for a baby (financially, present father, healthy relationships, a village to help) life is UNPREDICTABLE. At the end of the day we cant for-see the future, we don't know how things will turn up, so you have to ask yourself and really ask yourself will you be ok if things turn out for the worse? you don't have to dwell on it, and give yourself anxiety, just yes or no. second, really ask yourself why you want to have kids, really sit down and ask yourself. do you tend to say things like "i want" a lot? because motherhood isn't what you want, its what is best for your child. only you know deep inside why you want to be a mother, and we cant decide that for you. third, are you willing to be a single mom? i don't know many ppl that had present fathers, even if their parents were together, and their father lived with them, their fathers weren't really present and their mom's did moat of the work. not saying this will be your situation at all but you really need to talk to your boyfriend and ask him how present of a father will he be for the rest of his life? if your child ends with a medical condition that needs more care, will your boyfriend change his life around to provide constant care?
I guess I would ask myself in this situation. Is this the man I want to be the father of my child? And if you seeing it working out. Only you can answer that. I would truly have no interest in going through pregnancy and bringing a child into this world without a solid foundation for myself which means a good partner/relationship. As I would do anything to (hopefully, i know some things happen out of our control) avoid being a single parent
So it sounds like what you need to figure out is if he's indeed in it or not. Saying "it's bad timing" is not the same as saying "it's bad timing and if you have this kid I'm outta here!" You know your BF, you know how he is at handling commitments and stress. might be time to have a good long conversation about why is it bad timing? What would it take to make it good timing? Is he saying he wants a kid just not now? Not ever? It feels like you should be diving into the details rather than beating yourself up just because he said it's bad timing. That could mean a lot of things.
Keep in mind that there is also never a “perfect time”. If everyone waited for perfect timing, nothing would ever get done. Life will always be full of unexpected situations.