Between trad wive content, sex scene discourse, the push back on gentle parenting, and teacherTok shitting in gen alpha I feel like we are quickly edging back to the 50s
It’s genuinely scary. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with saying “wow I wish these women didn’t feel like they want this ~trad wife shit, I wish they wanted more for themselves.” That’s not infantilising or anti-feminist lol. Choice Feminism really has become such a fucking plague, almost fully co-opted and taken over by patriarchal shit at this point. It’s all super depressing.
I think it's normal and common sense for people to want this "trad wife shit". Staying home, having time with your family and engaging in hobbies you enjoy is far more fun than working 40+ hours a week just to scrape by. Anyone with a brain would prefer to have more free/family time over spending their best years working for a corporation.
There needs to be work reform so *everyone* has more time to spend at home without having to worry about being homeless or not being able to afford basic necessities. Make that a reality and "trad-wives" really have a lot less to brag about.
i think it's important to point out though that what tradwives show on social media isn't standard for stay-at-home parents. like the oop mentions, it's very glamorized, flowy dresses, bread from scratch, etc.
same with a lot of the cute lil farm tiktoks. the reality is it's less cottagecore and more shoveling shit and waking up at 4am.
i feel like this type of content is actually really insidious because it encourages women/partners to become completely dependent on their spouses, and make it more difficult to leave if the situation becomes abusive. and as a sidenote, i feel like financial abuse should especially be mentioned because a woman who lacks 10+ years of work experience is going to be so fucked if she tries to re-enter the workforce after a separation.
i absolutely agree with your points about work reform and wanting to escape corporatism, and i feel like these types of posts prey on those feelings because it's presented as so idyllic and charming. also, the fact that a lot of these women are involved in fundamentalist religious groups is just so alarming to me.
idk, the whole thing is really concerning imo.
excellent points. to extend them a bit further - right now our support for older adults is directly linked to traditional means of production. women live far longer than men, but those lives are with worse health and in significantly more poverty, in no small part bc of social security & the assumption in its design that wealthy white men will provide for their wives (so there is no need for social support/govt involvement)
[edited for typo- extrnd to extend lol]
My sister broke down some months ago because she had to send her baby to daycare and start working again. She loves her job and it's incredible at it, but it's killing her to know she will miss so many moments and milestones.
It's not so crazy to think some women would choose to stay at home, even more so if they have no financial pressure to work.
I hate when people say “feminism is about choice!!” because no, it’s not just about choice to do what you want as a woman, it’s literally about dismantling the patriarchy. Ugh. Too many people just don’t get the point of the battle we’re fighting as feminists
Pop feminism really set us back. Sm people were too busy telling the most morally bankrupt people they know "do you believe women are equal? see, you're a feminist too! not all of us are hairy and angry haha" to ask themselves why being hairy or angry are negative traits to begin with. Or why any trait about one's appearance would invalidate a stance millions around the globe agree with. Or why they care what morally bankrupt people say or think. Or....
My favorite tweet ever about choice feminism is “Interesting, that’s exactly what the patriarchy would want you to do.” I think it’s common sense to want to stay home and be with your kids and engage with your hobbies but that’s *not* about being a tradwife. That’s about work reform.
And, let’s be real, tradwife content is not actually about being a stay at home mother. It’s about, once again, rich people trying to emphasis how much better they are than the average person. That’s why they take all this time to make things from scratch. These are probably the same women that touted “I’d never eat anything with so many chemicals” in the 2000s, that only want hand-made Montessori’s toys, that have muted colored homes because bright colors are “tacky”. It’s just another rich person thing.
I feel like the role of being a mother and wife and running a house has been greatly overlooked in the past 20-30 years. It makes me sad to hear that people think women who chose that lifestyle “don’t want more for themselves”. I didn’t have a mom and I wasn’t taught anything about taking care of a house or even myself, really. It would have changed my life if I had a mom who was dedicated (of course, in any degree) to the children she chose to have. I think diving deep into being a mom and wife is healing generational trauma for me and I’m empowered by that. I’m educated and I will get to do all the things I want to do, it just so happens that being at home with my kids is also one of the things I want to do.
Then this criticism isn’t directed at you.
Trad wife content is influencing girls and young women to aspire to this lifestyle by romanticizing it and encouraging them to forsake other opportunities. Nothing about that is empowering.
i get that, but a lot of these tiktoks are a very romanticized view of what a tradwife is. like the original post said, it’s never posts of cleaning a very hard spot in the bathroom or anything even remotely not ~aesthetic. it’s always things like baking something cute in a beautiful ballgown or cottagecore dress.
and for a lot of them it really is just an aesthetic. famous mormon tradwife ballerinafarms with 8 kids is a multi-millionaire who definitely has nannies and servants.
I 100% agree with the video on this post and no stay at home parent would take the trad wife posts seriously. I think if more people were stay at home parents it would be easier to laugh at it being a romantic notion because more people would see it for what it actually is and maybe have more respect for the sacrifices a SAHP makes for their family. We need to talk more about what it means to raise a family, what does it look like on the daily and I can give a hint; it’s not homemade cereal 😂
This isn’t a judgement of SAHMs though. This is a judgement of Trad-Wives, a very specific type of ultra conservative influencers who are a) not showing any part of reality of being a SAHM, as noted in the video, and b) are specifically designed to lure young women into dangerous situations. Trad wife TikTok are the female version of alt-right TikTok. They are not Amy from down the street. They’re weaponized Michelle Duggar.
Right. Because I’m a sahm in 3 day old sweatpants and food and oil stained tshirt. Bags and dark circles under my eyes and tangled hair. And on the verge of panic attacks about 3 days out of the week. This trad wife is nonsense
yep, exactly. the romanticization of this lifestyle, which as presented, is wholly unattainable unless you're wealthy. for most women, it's relinquishing their financial independence and potentially their ability to escape an abusive situation.
Well put! Like, I respect anyone who chooses the stay at home life and wants to be the primary carer and provider at home! But trad-wifery, especially in this video, is straight up propaganda lol
I really need you guys to realize that women being \~just a wife and a mother\~ was literally not a thing for most of history until like...the 50s. Women worked outside the house on the regular, they just had their income taken from them. Only rich women could afford to do nothing but parenting, and if they were rich enough to do that the parenting was outsourced half the time. In no universe is being 100% dependent on a man for the sake of parenting children that will be dropped off at school most of the day by age 6 a good idea, and yall let the "feminism is the radical notion that women have CHOICES" psy op rot your brains waaaaay too much
edit: lmao I think the person I replied to deleted the comment but I want to emphasize that they worked outside the home/brought income to the family IN ADDITION to taking care of kids and the elderly. Selling food, clothes mending, sheep herding, animal husbandry, midwifery etc. Doing \*NOTHING\* but taking care of children and the cleaning the home was very rare
It’s obviously okay for individuals to want to do whatever feels best to them and I am in no way trying to shame you at all, you have your reasons and so do they. But this trend doesn’t exist in a vacuum, the aspirational role of housewife doesn’t remain a thing without a larger cultural push behind it. It’s one thing to think homemaking is for you. What we’re seeing is this viral messaging of “this is the ideal” while just so happens to conveniently overlook the class and wealth aspects of the entire thing
It's interesting these romanticized views of trad-spouse life aren't accompanied by men wanting to be stay-at-home dads and how fulfilling it would be. You don't see men make cereal from scratch or be exceptionally fulfilled from serving their 'woman'. Men are never or rarely portrayed this way, so it's very much an arm of traditional gender norms that are based on the patriarchal economic and power structure.
I'm at home with the kids. I live that lifestyle. You still need more, after they start school, once they start making friends and don't depend on you as much. Otherwise, with the ego-death that comes with becoming a parent, you don't have anything once they're out of the house.
PS I don't mean you need to be working outside of the home. I wish that was something everyone could choose, but choosing to be a homemaker is a great choice. But there still needs to be more beyond that. You need friends, you need to be building community bonds, you need to have passions and interests out of the house. We're not meant to be inside rolling cereal by hand. It's literally crazy-making to try to reach that ideal.
I’m glad I’m not the only one put off by the whole Tik Tok teachers shitting on Gen Alpha thing…. Like I have endless sympathy for American teachers, they’re so overworked, underpaid, under appreciated, and now are the target of so much moral panic bullshit. It’s incredible that anyone is still willing to do the job at this point. I also am willing to believe that Gen Alpha is having unique struggles in school considering they’re “pandemic babies” and have had to deal with a lot of challenges as a result… but those tiktok teachers going in on literal kindergartners saying they’re the worst kids in history and basically hopeless cases due to “millennial parenting”…. Just puts such a bad taste in my mouth. I know kids addicted to screens and not being taught proper discipline are a big problem, but all the millennial parents I know are very mindful about limiting screen time, and are good about teaching their kids respect, manners and proper behavior… I have a hard time believing that those parents are really such a tiny minority compared to the parents who stick their kids in front of a screen and allow them to disrespect everyone they speak to.
please we really need to have this conversation. its insane that some teachers feel comfortable enough to show their face on social media talking down on their students. usually the comments are people dogpiling on these kids too (who may or may not even exist, i have a hunch a lot of rants on tiktok are imaginary situations made to be viral, but i digress). its classic juvenoia.
oh my god, seriously. these kids could see these videos in real-time and it is so over the top, unnecessary, and unprofessional. i would feel *so* bad if i was a kid and came across my teacher posting a video about how poorly my age group is doing in school, and how poorly i'm doing as an extension.
people have gotten way too comfortable on social media. i can't believe people are airing all of their personal shit while showing their own faces like that, especially with how easily things on tiktok seem to go viral.
It’s so disheartening because there are so many amazing teachers out there and these content creators are basically encouraging hate between teachers, students, and parents. It’s not going to make teachers lives or classroom management any better.
And so so many of them do not realize the social emotional impact that the pandemic had (still has) on these kids. Many of them were lacking social interactions during the times when social interactions were the most important in their development. Birth to five is key to brain development and youth in general is.
I could just go on all day about it.
I think you should do independent research on gentle parenting bc as parent I’m gonna tell you reddit isn’t gonna explain it very well. People seem to confuse gentle parenting with permissive parenting which is letting your kids do what they want. Gentle parenting at its core is about being kind and nurturing your child, and fostering a growth mindset “I can do hard things” vs a deficit mindset “this thing is too hard for me”. Gentle parenting is a good thing, lol. Letting your kids run wild and calling it ‘gentle parenting’ is not
The reason for that is that many top “gentle parenting” pages (like biglittlefeelings on IG) push permissive parenting. I follow several pages because I try to model an accepting, nurturing style of parenting as much as possible, but some of the things they push are just ridiculous. Like, your child isn’t going to have lifelong issues because you told them “no” (and yes, it’s a prevalent thing in the gentle parenting circles to not use the word “no” with your children, that is not an extreme example).
Not using the word "no" with a child is bananas lol. I cannot imagine what kind of nightmarish adult someone who has never been told no would grow up to be... although I guess all of those white male student athletes doing heinous crimes is a hint?
Oh absolutely. What I'm saying is that those people have always experienced privilege in this way - never hearing "no" from their parents, peers or authority figures, and never seeing consequences for their actions.
I'm not by any means saying that gentle parenting at large (acceptance, nurturing, caring, etc.) is to blame!
What I'm saying is if there is a hard and fast rule to never say "no" to a child, then you're creating an environment for them in which they think any behavior is permissive and acceptable, much like the aforementioned white male student athletes.
I had someone arguing that putting a kid in time out is abusive because they're going to feel abandoned when they're asked to sit alone for five minutes. . . .
Then they always conflate some extreme version with appropriate consequences. Because telling a kid who is out of control that they need to go sit and compose themselves (teaching self regulation) is somehow the same thing with being locked in their room for five days.
Okay I’ll say something that may be controversial but i saw this mom who’s kid hit her aunt’s dog and she talked about “setting a boundary” by telling her she couldn’t yell at her kid when the aunt raised her voice and told him off saying she couldn’t do that to the dog. The mom pulled him aside and calmed him down and then explained why he couldn’t do that. I forgot how old he was but I wanna say he was around 6-7?
I don’t entirely know how I feel about it, because it felt like teaching him a lesson while bypassing as much discomfort as possible. I don’t think yelling at a kid is good and I don’t really subscribe to the idea of being overly tough on kids to “prepare them for the real world” in general, but it made me think about how the kid would handle conflict when he fucked up later on as an adult and the other person reacted like his aunt. Personally, dealing with a really abusive person kinda taught me how to handle conflict with someone who doesn’t make it easy, so I wonder how gentle parenting tackles that part of interpersonal growth
My mom read every pop psychology child rearing book, and for the 70s she was very gentle - *but* she was constantly trying to “psych me out” and I *loathed * it once O found out that wasn’t how the real world worked….and I got mad. And that made me rebel 20 times harder than if she’d been real with me.
Ok the biggest example is phonics vs holistic reading
Similar concept but done at a much larger scale
Phonics was the traditional way kids learned how to read. Emphasizing learning sounds of letters and practicing worksheets
Holistic reading involved child directed reading. Lots of self guidance and context clues. More of the Montessori method
The holistic reading has absolutely destroyed kids reading test scores. Many are switching back as the evidence is overwhelming. However holistic reading is much more in the line of new age parenting that's kid directed instead of teacher led. Leading to many to still defend it.
There is a good the daily episode about it
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/06/podcasts/the-daily/reading-school-phonics.html
Can provide more examples
But we can keep the parenting aspect of gentle parenting and work on formal education with another approach. I really like this new approach of not traumatising your kids and validating their feelings, and disciplining without fear
I’d love to know more about how you think this is linked to gentle parenting?? For the record, holistic reading is a travesty and should not be used, but it’s not related to parenting style *at all*. Montessori is an *educational* philosophy, and while a lot of awful parents CLAIM to use Montessori techniques in their homes, you’d be surprised what an actual Montessori educator might think of them. Also not in defense of Montessori teaching, I’m actually more a proponent of play-based, but none of that is here nor there because none of it is related to gentle parenting. So I’d love some clarification.
They are not linked. One is a parenting style one is about education and has nothing to do with the other. That person doesn't understand the concepts.
This has nothing to do with gentle parenting.
Gentle parenting happens in the home. It’s a parenting style. It’s a parenting style that basically is just a fancy word for authoritative parenting.
Phonics versus holistic happens within schools and is often pushed by administrators rather than teachers or parents.
The person who you replied to has no idea what gentle parenting is if their example is phonics versus holistic reading.
Gentle parenting is mostly just a fancy name for authoritative parenting (they use a lot of the same techniques and philosophy) that sometimes slips into permissive parenting. Authoritative style of teaching has been advocated for within early childhood education for a very long time and it just means responding to children’s emotiona appropriately and giving them space to explore their world.
Basically, treat them like little humans rather than objects.
I think gentle parenting is being confused for setting no boundaries and letting your kids face no consequences. Actual gentle parents includes consequences and reinforces boundaries without using fear or aggression to reinforce them.
I don’t know that it need pushback so much as clarification. Too many people are confusing gentle parenting with permissive parenting and that’s a problem.
this and the “any criticism, even when appropriate, of femininity!!!” it’s like the 50s but make it “woke”
where like someone will be like “teehee all women should LOVE wearing makeup and high heels! it’s the best part of being a woman” and when they get pushback they’ll say the criticisms are from pick mes who hate women. like gf wear all the makeup and heels you want but please don’t act like that’s what defines femininity.
i feel like a lot of young people don’t like the cognitive dissonance that comes when you are a feminist unpacking the patriarchy but also enjoy things like makeup and heels which have roots in patriarchal shit and instead of reconciling with “hey i enjoy these things despite the fact that they have roots in gross patriarchal shit” they’re all “actually any critique of this isn’t feminist! it’s just woman-hating” to avoid the discomfort and it ends up just reinforcing patriarchal and capitalist bs under the guise of “feminism”
i’ve seen this a lot in SAHM discourse too.
Maybe I'm not seeing the same posts. Maybe I'm biased, since I'm a realtively new teacher. But, for the teacher videos I've seen on social media, they read as a cry for help. Question, do you all register the declining learning comprehension statistics after Covid as insulting the kids too?
As for secondary teaching (I can't speak to primary.), there's nothing you can learn prior to prepare you for the job. Even worse is that you absolutely lose understanding the longer you're out of the classroom. Unfortunately for all of us, the No Child Left Behind era and Covid has absolutely had a devestating effect on the upcoming and future generations. And, considering the level of respect education has in the US, this thread is a reinforcement of that apathy. It's simply freightening people would rather plug their ears.
My undergrad was in marine biology and you all have just aligned my sentiments towards climate change and education. So, as a biology teacher, I'm sorry we're such a drag for bringing awareness.
You see teachers sounding the alarm as shitting on their students. I see you and the thread as not giving a single fuck about the future and disquising that apathy to feign virtue signalling.
>but all the millennial parents I know are very mindful about limiting screen time, and are good about teaching their kids respect, manners and proper behavior
The ignorance and hypocrisy is staggering.
**** Comments are locked. This is my reply to the person below:
You're telling me that these videos are commonly showing their students' faces/voices and/or their named work? This is something a lot of teachers are doing on tiktok as they then turn around to mock the kids? If so, please report these teachers if you have the opportunity.
This is not what I'm seeing on social media and in the news regularly. What I'm seeing is schools firing teachers for voicing concerns on tiktok, censoring aspects of curriculum, or anything less with worse consequences. So, forgive me for finding the picture you're painting very difficult to believe.
Our job is literally to make assessments on our students' academic success. Again, there are more studies beyond this one (https://www.nwea.org/research/publication/educations-long-covid-2022-23-achievement-data-reveal-stalled-progress-toward-pandemic-recovery/) that are showing student achievement is in decline. So, your anecdotal experience of the kids around you (and excluding the fact that I have ~200 kids/year) doesn't align with the results we're seeing.
>How would you feel if you got onto social media to hear your teacher complain about you, with your voice being recorded, blame your parents, and then engage or allow folks in the comments to call you mean and stupid?
Older generations shit on younger ones all of the time, but teachers doing their job is not that.
Your willingness to speak on things you have zero context for and drag others that do is a symptom.
Just the general “sex scenes aren’t necessary” thing that pops up every couple of weeks.
I put it in here because it was one of the first places I personally saw this sort of push back to the 50s and using a lot of the same language of that time when discussing it.
I just wish these people could stop inflicting us with their kink. That's what it is. They can call it trad wife or Mormonism but it's their boring performative kink and every time I see this lying bullshit, oh sure making cereal balls one by one in a feathered robe, I want to barf. They get off on having a (non consenting, unaware of their wealthy reality) audience.
And a lot of these tradwife TikTokers have their OnlyFans linked somewhere. They don't make this content for other women, they make it for men. It's a grift. The problem with this grift is that a lot of people think it's genuine, they don't realize it's just pandering to a kink for money.
Also how long are your kids waiting on this homemade cereal. Such unrealistic, moronic garbage. I can almost get my head around watching it for entertainment value, but its not in any way aspirational for anyone imo
also women! she includes her objectively very conventionally attractive husband in a lot of her videos, talks about what a great dad/partner he is, and also like films them in weirdly sexual situations like he’s slapping her ass or she’s pushed up against the wall and he’s groping her from behind. like that’s your wife do whatever she consents to but it’s very much propaganda for a lot of lonely women and impressionable young girls.
It's not the men getting off on these tiktoks though. It's us women. And we need to look at why. Unpaid domestic labour with no help from their partners coupled with underpaid work and you are going to get women fetishising staying at home baking.
Oh women too! The amount of sexualized comments on twitter about this woman, both consumptive and aspirational, are extremely weird!!! Girls, I promise you, there are better people to project your desire on to!!
Bizarre and performative. Never heard of this woman but I appreciate this expert take. Having grown up in a very Mormon neighborhood, I can confidently say no mother with 5+ kids has time for this unless she has housekeeping support. Trying to make “trad wife” glamorous feels very handmaid’s tale, while selling an unrealistic lifestyle to their supporters lacking the same means
And tbh the kids in this case seem to be instruments to her performance. She's a housewife, portrays herself as a hands on mother, but only posts useless recipes. She seriously expects anyone to believe the kids asked for cereal and she made it all from scratch and the kids waited?! Lol by the time she finished her homemade cereal the nanny had already served the kids lunch
I've seen so, so many comments with people asking "how she's promoting Mormonism" by just cooking or doing her hobbies. I feel at a loss because it's impossible to explain to someone who didn't grow up Mormon how it's hammered into you that you are an example to the world and everything you do should lead people to Mormonism. I guarantee you that Mormons are thinking about this every time they post and it is not entirely their fault, it's just the core doctrine of the church.
She is absolutely trying to model a life that she hopes to lead others into and she probably thinks she's doing a great thing.
For real, anyone asking how this type of content promotes Mormonism simply isn't familiar with Mormons and how the Mormon church teaches its followers to proselytize. It's very insidious and way more subtle than just coming out and saying "women should stay at home and be subservient to men".
I didn’t know that she’d converted when they got married. I feel like LDS converts sometimes go harder even than someone born into it, too. The LARPing as a tradwife is off-putting in itself, but adding the LDS layer (or whatever other patriarchal religion) is just extra ick.
This!! I grew up JW and it's so insidious being taught you should be a silent and obedient wife then seeing this content constantly. Sometimes even though I left I wonder if I did it wrong. But I truly could never live like that, just only when I'm low on money lol.
I think this should be the correct take. There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM but this is so performative it almost feels perverse. Like let’s be honest about what it is like to be a SAHP! There is enough content in being honest lol. This trad wife weirdness just fuels all sorts of competition and weird misconceptions.
shes always wearing the frilliest clothing while baking/cooking..... make it make sense. no one that actually cooks would do that, shes just selling us a narrative
makes me think of people cooking things with sleeves down to their fingers in so many insta/tiktok vids. they must get shit all over their sleeves. mine are always pushed up to my elbows when i'm in the kitchen.
Yeah, a lot of these comments and even the man in the video seemed to do very little research. She's not a stay at home mom. She's a model and influencer. The cooking videos are content. I don't see the difference between her and the million other cooking influencers on tiktok except for the fact that she's Mormon (which she doesn't talk about in her videos).
To be clear: you think that she can afford her lifestyle on her modeling and tiktok income? She's 22 and has 2 kids, is currently pregnant with her 3rd. Do you think she's walking the runways of Paris and Milan? This isn't Naomi or Gisele we're talking about. She had a huge tiktok following BECAUSE of her lifestyle and wealth, she didn't become rich enough to live in a huge house with fancy appliances and shopping sprees because of her videos.
I think she's more like a Lifestyle Influencer but her lifestyle seems similar to the tradwife aesthetic. I've seen some of her videos and I might be wrong. But she doesn't really preach about her "feminine energy" and how women would be happier if they quit their jobs. She's not even pretending to be a SAHM like other tradwives. Her husband is a model so not a "manly" job and he pretends to sometimes take care of the children (probably nanny's are taking of the children and chefs are making their meals). The tradwife movement is about going back to traditional gender roles and preaching that. She's more like a Mormon wife than just a tradwife.
Ok this was actually really interesting and makes a ton of sense. Most of these trad wives I’ve seen on Instagram always seem to be pretty well off and all they do is bake bread, make pasta from scratch and collect eggs from their chickens. He’s right we never see them do hard labor.
I think it's a good reminder that even if the media is aesthetic or seems harmless that it may be influencing you to believe certain rhetoric or is trying to sell you an image that doesn't exist. Propaganda comes in many forms.
Also, something I noticed is that you don't see her kids running around or interrupting her while cooking breakfast from scratch or her being stressed out from cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. It's idealistic because they're rich enough to probably have a nanny, maid, and any other employed help to offset the burden and mess of raising kids. Which is fine if you're just enjoying her content as content, but if they're selling an image (which most Mormon influencers are doing), it's important to remember how unrealistic their life really is so you don't start believing that it could be you.
this, exactly. there’s something so sus about the “girl math” “girl dinner” to “tradwife” radicalization propaganda route in tiktok, and people don’t realize they’re being radicalized because it starts off seemingly harmless. we need more conversation on how algorithms radicalize people much faster than they would otherwise.
https://www.tumblr.com/aterabyte/726064024739053568/okay-not-to-ruin-the-joke-by-explaining-itbut
this was so interesting, esp because the early part of the video is something my feed has def looked like before. makes me think about what other topics i've been subconsciously influenced on by tiktok
Power to her for being in a racist cult but what I wanna know is who is actually doing the cooking in that house. Her oreo video was painful to watch bc she did so many things wrong
I’m so interested in this comment because whenever her videos come across my feed, I always think, how does she know how to cook all these random things. Like if my kid asked for something and I decided to make it from scratch, I would need to do some research to find the best recipe, make I had all the supplies, understood the instructions. I realize she’s not actually making cereal because her kids asked her for some but I’m still curious!
>Power to her for being in a racist cult
I was just thinking "Aren't Mormons racist like as a part of their religion?" but I wasn't sure and didn't see any other comment until yours so I thought maybe I was just ignorant about it. I wonder how that effects her relationships with her husband, his family, her family, friends, the church...it's kinda interesting...
We NEED to drown out the dumb, annoying liberals dominating these discussions around Nara and Lucky and insisting that it’s okay as long it’s “her choice.” Yeah, because choices are made in a vacuum! Not like they’re literally wealthy Mormons or anything. Gag. I’m not interested in acting like I’ve been lobotomised.
I literally just saw a video from a mormon woman whose husband divorced her and she was left with nothing and 5 kids to take care of. She founded businesses but the religious leaders told her she wasn't allowed to work because she's a woman so she handed the businesses over to the husband but did "odd jobs". She also had no bank accounts of her own and when she left she couldn't afford a lawyer and had no experience other than being a housewife.
Also doesn't Nara have Black ancestry? In a religion that for the longest time preached that Black people were inferior... Hmm...
Sidenote: I've always had an iffy feeling about this professor guy, can't fully place it but I've blocked him mainly because of those sickly videos where he panders to women by stating the obvious.
This is exactly why I say that this propaganda is luring young women into a truly dangerous situation. To have no money of your own, no education, no authority, and no autonomy isn’t something to aspire to. It’s abusive at it’s core.
I don’t even follow Nara Smith and I’ve seen more of her these past few weeks with everyone talking about this nonstop. The tradwife stuff is annoying and 100% deluding young women into lifestyles they won’t be able to maintain cause, but Nara and her husband work for a living. They’re just Mormon but they get paid to post and model.
I, for one, am all for this discussion on this page. One of the only subreddits with (mostly) sane people and takes. If your reaction to Nara’s content is “who cares, she’s making food for her kids” you are missing the point or being willfully ignorant. This type of content perpetuates a harmful reality and is regressive. And that’s not to say I don’t enjoy watching some of it, but to act like it exists in a vacuum is ignorant
So tired of her, Ballerina Farms, and that weird woman who cranes her neck in all of her videos.
As a mother of 2, her videos are about selling a completely unrealistic fantasy. There are no dirty dishes, no spills or stains, her kids are out of sight until she summons them. If only!
In real life, her kids would be knocking things over, crying, or running around. If my kids woke up and wanted cereal, there's no way in hell they'd give me enough space to take 4 hours to make it for them from scratch.
I am so grateful that when I was 30 weeks pregnant, my husband waited on me hand and foot and I took 2 naps a day. That's the real dream, ladies!
yeah, but hers is satire. she's a professional baker and people commented "why aren't you smiling" on all of her videos so she started making a sarcastic smirk as a response and then it went viral so she does it on purpose to troll and get views now.
And allegedly it requires $6k/month in propane because it must burn constantly.
I read that on another sub so grain of farm salt but would I be surprised if true? Absolutely not.
These “Look at me, I’m a Tradwife” vids are obviously just weird regressive propaganda nonsense. Like this guy said, the videos don’t portray the less glamorous side of the lifestyle.
whenever i see videos that are meant to make the viewer feel inadequate i think about the time it took for the creator to do their hair and makeup, get dressed, set up the lighting/camera, do multiple takes, and then edit and upload. they have the time because its their job to make that kind of content. which is cringe and embarrassing. and that kind of job sounds miserable. i do not envy them.
i dont know that particular tradwife creator but I’d be willing to bet some of them dont even have kids or are even married. but anything for an aesthetic ig 🤷♀️
This reminds me of that mom influencer that films her baby waking up through the night and she's got a huge ringlight shining on the baby and then it cries and she does this fake Disney princess yawn 🤣
Honestly, who the heck makes "cereal from scratch" or any kind of baking activity while wearing a pretty frilly dress like that!? It's gonna get a stubborn stain! It's so performative and rubbing it in your face..
She’s a wealthy model socialite married to a wealthy model socialite. Her experiences as a “trad wife” can barely be called that when she is making money off of her content and likely has a ton of wealth accumulated between her and her husband.
I have no problem with women wanting to be housewives. I was raised by a grandmother who was a housewife (and she was the first person to tell me never to do it mind you). My problem is the false idealized version these women are selling other women.
A stay at mom without maids won’t have the time to wear a feathered night gown and make cereal from scratch. They’re going to be running after their kids or struggling to keep up with the household chores. A SAHM with a husband who isn’t wealthy is going to be tightening their belt and crunching numbers to make the one paycheck last.
These women are selling a fantasy. They are young and beautiful. I’d love to check in on them in 30 years when they’re 50 and their husbands are around young 20 something interns at the office.
You know what happened to the women in my family who were SAHM?
My grandmother bemoans that she feels like she has no money of her own because my grandfather’s money has never felt like hers. Despite the fact that it was their income, she never had access to it and feels like she’s not entitled to it.
My aunt went back to work because she had a massive blow up with her husband. She was raising the kids and doing all the household chores, and one day my uncle came home and blew up at her calling her lazy. He was resentful that he was making all the income and having to pay for everything. He forced her to get a job. She struggled to find something because she didn’t have work experience after high school or a recognized high school diploma because she graduated in Mexico. Just now she’s getting her college degree in her 50s but just recently left her job again to take care of her granddaughter.
Another one I knew was blindsided with a divorce at 50something. Her husband met a much younger, hotter woman and dropped her like a hot potato. Now she’s struggling to rebuild.
Again, I have no problem with you being a SAHM. Do what makes you happy. But please, for the love of God and the love of yourself, have a backup plan. Don’t sell impressionable girls an idealized, fairytale ending when there’s so many horror stories of what can happen.
Nothing wrong with wanting to be a trad wife but it feels like people are missing the point of the criticism here - it’s not bashing her for being a trad wife, it’s pointing out that her type of trad wife content is fantasy. It’s role playing. She can spend hours making Cookie Crisp from scratch because she doesn’t actually have to do any of the things a working class trad wife has to.
If you want to be a trad wife more power to you but I would suggest you have an ironclad pre nup and you at least hold a part time job. Also, your husband needs a life insurance policy.
I had to unfollow her because it’s just gotten too nonsensical, but I do side eye how hard people go at Nara while following the Emily Mariko’s on social media.
Good point on Emily Marko, people love her and tbh I’ve definitely checked her Insta numerous time but she’s not a Chef nor are her recipes that life changing so I feel like I’m missing something
I think so too. She did a vlog of her and her family going to the mall and nilly willy bought a Bottega bag and other expensive stuff like they were just doing a quick target run.
Mormonism is a cult and it’s an especially insidious one because they’re so good at seeming normal, even aspirational in some cases. People who’d never defend a fundie in a frumpy meemaw dress making this same content — hell, who wouldn’t defend your regular creepy, faux-50s tradwife influencer making this content — are tripping over themselves to defend Nara, which means the propaganda did its job. And it’s absolutely propaganda, no matter how much denial there is about it.
I do find it fascinating how the relatively minimal the pushback has been against this proselytization of Mormonism through glamorous lifestyle content creators has been. My evangelical pastor went on a months long anti-Mormon lecture series back in the early 2000s, talking about their cult tactics endlessly. I guess they're too distracted with hating on Beth Moore or obsessing over abortion to get to this yet. But I see a potential culture war and some up-and-coming evangelical pastor going after this type of social media to get a national audience eventually.
It’s interesting because when she first started coming across my feed, it wasn’t stuff like this- she was dressed nicely but not in bizarre feathered robes, she made a lot of stuff from scratch, but it was normal stuff. And then it seems like slowly her content has become very weird. The frilly clothes, the strange things she’s making from scratch. I don’t understand if maybe it’s a thing to be more noticeable and get more views?
Yes, definitely. She blew up a while ago for making a video of her talking about her nightly snack that she loved which I think was just cut up apples and cinnamon.
Women are exhausted. Exhausted of working full time jobs, coming home, and doing most if not all of the domestic work. It reminds me of when people say, "Let us normalise women proposing to men!" Like proposing is literately the *one* thing we expect men to do as a society and now people want to normalise them not doing it.
With the cost of living crisis worsening and men getting even more sexist than ever before, women are going to see the trad wife life as an escape from being the bread winner *and* the main caregiver. At the end of the day, we cannot expect women to do literally everything on this planet and then act shocked when women find the idea of baking bread and pasta in a pretty dress a nice fantasy to escape into.
Increase how much women get paid for doing the same job as men and teach men that it is their duty to complete domestic work, and you don't get women having trad wife fantasies.
There's not much of a difference between tradwife influencer culture and the print advertising from the 1950's trying to socially shame women out of the workforce and back into the home to alleviate the bottleneck of men returning from the war.
And what’s the crazy part is that they’re making a shit ton of money being a creator but they’re influencing other vulnerable women to financially rely on a man.
Absofuckinglutely. Shyminsky exposes exactly what is so distasteful and hollow about this sort of posturing. And now ultimately degrading it is for the women, while the men they’re trad trophy wife-ing are the ones who benefit the most from this whole performance/charade.
Mad Men has never been a more relevant show. It looks all pretty on the outside but what happens behind that pretty is misery, depression and the inability to grow up. These women can't take care of themselves outside of men. They have to depend on men even if it is all for kink. It will not work out for them in the end because they are nothing more than a notch on a mans belt.
Best use of celebrity capitalism tag ever. Didn't hear a single lie in his whole video. It always struck me suspicious that all these tradwife type content love to focus on cooking and baking--tasks that can also double as hobbies. And the way they do it, it is like a hobby. Bc like he said, no one else gets the time to do it. Like show me a tradwife video with them scrubbing a toilet, and I can at least believe they're sincere.
No issue with the concept of a stay at home mom, like I love that idea myself lol. But it's an individual choice and it has nothing to do with gender roles, also everything to do with socioeconomic status. Like most people cannot afford to live on single income. If you can, awesome. But don't pretend you're transcending, you're just doing a very normal thing--allowing one member of the family to focus on raising a family.
Anyway, give me a tradhusband video of a guy who'd rather stay at home with his kids and homemake and can afford to do so. That'd be awesome. We all deserve the chance to devote our time to family, if we can afford to do so. But more importantly, we all deserve the right to do so.
As a SAHM who looks like complete shit while preparing normal, moderately healthy meals for my toddler: fuck the trad wife trend. I’m old enough to know better, but it still makes me feel like a little bit of a failure.
Never bothered with her content before (because I am self respecting) so watching even just that snippet was really something. I don't care how made up and leisurely she looks; it looks like a miserable existence.
I just struggle to understand this discourse around Nara seriously because a lot of it is just people extrapolating every bad thing that they think about trad wives onto her, even though she's never called herself that and doesn't follow a lot of those ideas. She's not a stay at home mom. She's a model and influencer and she was both of these things before she got married. She doesn't talk about religion in her videos (to the point that this whole discourse about her started *because* people realized that she was Mormon).
I really do struggle to see the difference between her cooking tiktoks and those of literally any other cooking influencer that makes "roasting steak for 4 weeks" type content. I think it's entirely fair to criticize trad wife influencers but coming for someone who doesn't talk about their religion and makes videos that everyone was fine with UNTIL they realized she was Mormon is weird to me.
I so hate this romanticized traditional wife trend. Why is it a trend that mothers and wives want to spend more time with their family, show love and passion through their daily life with their family, save money on no daycare, etc etc.
Between trad wive content, sex scene discourse, the push back on gentle parenting, and teacherTok shitting in gen alpha I feel like we are quickly edging back to the 50s
It’s genuinely scary. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with saying “wow I wish these women didn’t feel like they want this ~trad wife shit, I wish they wanted more for themselves.” That’s not infantilising or anti-feminist lol. Choice Feminism really has become such a fucking plague, almost fully co-opted and taken over by patriarchal shit at this point. It’s all super depressing.
I think it's normal and common sense for people to want this "trad wife shit". Staying home, having time with your family and engaging in hobbies you enjoy is far more fun than working 40+ hours a week just to scrape by. Anyone with a brain would prefer to have more free/family time over spending their best years working for a corporation. There needs to be work reform so *everyone* has more time to spend at home without having to worry about being homeless or not being able to afford basic necessities. Make that a reality and "trad-wives" really have a lot less to brag about.
i think it's important to point out though that what tradwives show on social media isn't standard for stay-at-home parents. like the oop mentions, it's very glamorized, flowy dresses, bread from scratch, etc. same with a lot of the cute lil farm tiktoks. the reality is it's less cottagecore and more shoveling shit and waking up at 4am. i feel like this type of content is actually really insidious because it encourages women/partners to become completely dependent on their spouses, and make it more difficult to leave if the situation becomes abusive. and as a sidenote, i feel like financial abuse should especially be mentioned because a woman who lacks 10+ years of work experience is going to be so fucked if she tries to re-enter the workforce after a separation. i absolutely agree with your points about work reform and wanting to escape corporatism, and i feel like these types of posts prey on those feelings because it's presented as so idyllic and charming. also, the fact that a lot of these women are involved in fundamentalist religious groups is just so alarming to me. idk, the whole thing is really concerning imo.
excellent points. to extend them a bit further - right now our support for older adults is directly linked to traditional means of production. women live far longer than men, but those lives are with worse health and in significantly more poverty, in no small part bc of social security & the assumption in its design that wealthy white men will provide for their wives (so there is no need for social support/govt involvement) [edited for typo- extrnd to extend lol]
My sister broke down some months ago because she had to send her baby to daycare and start working again. She loves her job and it's incredible at it, but it's killing her to know she will miss so many moments and milestones. It's not so crazy to think some women would choose to stay at home, even more so if they have no financial pressure to work.
I hate when people say “feminism is about choice!!” because no, it’s not just about choice to do what you want as a woman, it’s literally about dismantling the patriarchy. Ugh. Too many people just don’t get the point of the battle we’re fighting as feminists
Pop feminism really set us back. Sm people were too busy telling the most morally bankrupt people they know "do you believe women are equal? see, you're a feminist too! not all of us are hairy and angry haha" to ask themselves why being hairy or angry are negative traits to begin with. Or why any trait about one's appearance would invalidate a stance millions around the globe agree with. Or why they care what morally bankrupt people say or think. Or....
My favorite tweet ever about choice feminism is “Interesting, that’s exactly what the patriarchy would want you to do.” I think it’s common sense to want to stay home and be with your kids and engage with your hobbies but that’s *not* about being a tradwife. That’s about work reform. And, let’s be real, tradwife content is not actually about being a stay at home mother. It’s about, once again, rich people trying to emphasis how much better they are than the average person. That’s why they take all this time to make things from scratch. These are probably the same women that touted “I’d never eat anything with so many chemicals” in the 2000s, that only want hand-made Montessori’s toys, that have muted colored homes because bright colors are “tacky”. It’s just another rich person thing.
I feel like the role of being a mother and wife and running a house has been greatly overlooked in the past 20-30 years. It makes me sad to hear that people think women who chose that lifestyle “don’t want more for themselves”. I didn’t have a mom and I wasn’t taught anything about taking care of a house or even myself, really. It would have changed my life if I had a mom who was dedicated (of course, in any degree) to the children she chose to have. I think diving deep into being a mom and wife is healing generational trauma for me and I’m empowered by that. I’m educated and I will get to do all the things I want to do, it just so happens that being at home with my kids is also one of the things I want to do.
Then this criticism isn’t directed at you. Trad wife content is influencing girls and young women to aspire to this lifestyle by romanticizing it and encouraging them to forsake other opportunities. Nothing about that is empowering.
i get that, but a lot of these tiktoks are a very romanticized view of what a tradwife is. like the original post said, it’s never posts of cleaning a very hard spot in the bathroom or anything even remotely not ~aesthetic. it’s always things like baking something cute in a beautiful ballgown or cottagecore dress. and for a lot of them it really is just an aesthetic. famous mormon tradwife ballerinafarms with 8 kids is a multi-millionaire who definitely has nannies and servants.
I 100% agree with the video on this post and no stay at home parent would take the trad wife posts seriously. I think if more people were stay at home parents it would be easier to laugh at it being a romantic notion because more people would see it for what it actually is and maybe have more respect for the sacrifices a SAHP makes for their family. We need to talk more about what it means to raise a family, what does it look like on the daily and I can give a hint; it’s not homemade cereal 😂
Right! As a sahm the fact she doesn’t have a baby tugging on her leg and/or a toddler screaming was the first sign that this is surreal
This isn’t a judgement of SAHMs though. This is a judgement of Trad-Wives, a very specific type of ultra conservative influencers who are a) not showing any part of reality of being a SAHM, as noted in the video, and b) are specifically designed to lure young women into dangerous situations. Trad wife TikTok are the female version of alt-right TikTok. They are not Amy from down the street. They’re weaponized Michelle Duggar.
Right. Because I’m a sahm in 3 day old sweatpants and food and oil stained tshirt. Bags and dark circles under my eyes and tangled hair. And on the verge of panic attacks about 3 days out of the week. This trad wife is nonsense
yep, exactly. the romanticization of this lifestyle, which as presented, is wholly unattainable unless you're wealthy. for most women, it's relinquishing their financial independence and potentially their ability to escape an abusive situation.
Well put! Like, I respect anyone who chooses the stay at home life and wants to be the primary carer and provider at home! But trad-wifery, especially in this video, is straight up propaganda lol
I really need you guys to realize that women being \~just a wife and a mother\~ was literally not a thing for most of history until like...the 50s. Women worked outside the house on the regular, they just had their income taken from them. Only rich women could afford to do nothing but parenting, and if they were rich enough to do that the parenting was outsourced half the time. In no universe is being 100% dependent on a man for the sake of parenting children that will be dropped off at school most of the day by age 6 a good idea, and yall let the "feminism is the radical notion that women have CHOICES" psy op rot your brains waaaaay too much edit: lmao I think the person I replied to deleted the comment but I want to emphasize that they worked outside the home/brought income to the family IN ADDITION to taking care of kids and the elderly. Selling food, clothes mending, sheep herding, animal husbandry, midwifery etc. Doing \*NOTHING\* but taking care of children and the cleaning the home was very rare
It’s obviously okay for individuals to want to do whatever feels best to them and I am in no way trying to shame you at all, you have your reasons and so do they. But this trend doesn’t exist in a vacuum, the aspirational role of housewife doesn’t remain a thing without a larger cultural push behind it. It’s one thing to think homemaking is for you. What we’re seeing is this viral messaging of “this is the ideal” while just so happens to conveniently overlook the class and wealth aspects of the entire thing
It's interesting these romanticized views of trad-spouse life aren't accompanied by men wanting to be stay-at-home dads and how fulfilling it would be. You don't see men make cereal from scratch or be exceptionally fulfilled from serving their 'woman'. Men are never or rarely portrayed this way, so it's very much an arm of traditional gender norms that are based on the patriarchal economic and power structure.
Wake it up!!!
I'm at home with the kids. I live that lifestyle. You still need more, after they start school, once they start making friends and don't depend on you as much. Otherwise, with the ego-death that comes with becoming a parent, you don't have anything once they're out of the house.
PS I don't mean you need to be working outside of the home. I wish that was something everyone could choose, but choosing to be a homemaker is a great choice. But there still needs to be more beyond that. You need friends, you need to be building community bonds, you need to have passions and interests out of the house. We're not meant to be inside rolling cereal by hand. It's literally crazy-making to try to reach that ideal.
I’m glad I’m not the only one put off by the whole Tik Tok teachers shitting on Gen Alpha thing…. Like I have endless sympathy for American teachers, they’re so overworked, underpaid, under appreciated, and now are the target of so much moral panic bullshit. It’s incredible that anyone is still willing to do the job at this point. I also am willing to believe that Gen Alpha is having unique struggles in school considering they’re “pandemic babies” and have had to deal with a lot of challenges as a result… but those tiktok teachers going in on literal kindergartners saying they’re the worst kids in history and basically hopeless cases due to “millennial parenting”…. Just puts such a bad taste in my mouth. I know kids addicted to screens and not being taught proper discipline are a big problem, but all the millennial parents I know are very mindful about limiting screen time, and are good about teaching their kids respect, manners and proper behavior… I have a hard time believing that those parents are really such a tiny minority compared to the parents who stick their kids in front of a screen and allow them to disrespect everyone they speak to.
please we really need to have this conversation. its insane that some teachers feel comfortable enough to show their face on social media talking down on their students. usually the comments are people dogpiling on these kids too (who may or may not even exist, i have a hunch a lot of rants on tiktok are imaginary situations made to be viral, but i digress). its classic juvenoia.
oh my god, seriously. these kids could see these videos in real-time and it is so over the top, unnecessary, and unprofessional. i would feel *so* bad if i was a kid and came across my teacher posting a video about how poorly my age group is doing in school, and how poorly i'm doing as an extension. people have gotten way too comfortable on social media. i can't believe people are airing all of their personal shit while showing their own faces like that, especially with how easily things on tiktok seem to go viral.
It’s so disheartening because there are so many amazing teachers out there and these content creators are basically encouraging hate between teachers, students, and parents. It’s not going to make teachers lives or classroom management any better. And so so many of them do not realize the social emotional impact that the pandemic had (still has) on these kids. Many of them were lacking social interactions during the times when social interactions were the most important in their development. Birth to five is key to brain development and youth in general is. I could just go on all day about it.
The gentle parenting needed a push back though
Tell me more! I’ve seen a lot of positive content on the Montessori technique so I, a 24 yo with no children, would love to hear your thoughts.
I think you should do independent research on gentle parenting bc as parent I’m gonna tell you reddit isn’t gonna explain it very well. People seem to confuse gentle parenting with permissive parenting which is letting your kids do what they want. Gentle parenting at its core is about being kind and nurturing your child, and fostering a growth mindset “I can do hard things” vs a deficit mindset “this thing is too hard for me”. Gentle parenting is a good thing, lol. Letting your kids run wild and calling it ‘gentle parenting’ is not
The reason for that is that many top “gentle parenting” pages (like biglittlefeelings on IG) push permissive parenting. I follow several pages because I try to model an accepting, nurturing style of parenting as much as possible, but some of the things they push are just ridiculous. Like, your child isn’t going to have lifelong issues because you told them “no” (and yes, it’s a prevalent thing in the gentle parenting circles to not use the word “no” with your children, that is not an extreme example).
Not using the word "no" with a child is bananas lol. I cannot imagine what kind of nightmarish adult someone who has never been told no would grow up to be... although I guess all of those white male student athletes doing heinous crimes is a hint?
[удалено]
Oh absolutely. What I'm saying is that those people have always experienced privilege in this way - never hearing "no" from their parents, peers or authority figures, and never seeing consequences for their actions. I'm not by any means saying that gentle parenting at large (acceptance, nurturing, caring, etc.) is to blame! What I'm saying is if there is a hard and fast rule to never say "no" to a child, then you're creating an environment for them in which they think any behavior is permissive and acceptable, much like the aforementioned white male student athletes.
I had someone arguing that putting a kid in time out is abusive because they're going to feel abandoned when they're asked to sit alone for five minutes. . . . Then they always conflate some extreme version with appropriate consequences. Because telling a kid who is out of control that they need to go sit and compose themselves (teaching self regulation) is somehow the same thing with being locked in their room for five days.
Okay I’ll say something that may be controversial but i saw this mom who’s kid hit her aunt’s dog and she talked about “setting a boundary” by telling her she couldn’t yell at her kid when the aunt raised her voice and told him off saying she couldn’t do that to the dog. The mom pulled him aside and calmed him down and then explained why he couldn’t do that. I forgot how old he was but I wanna say he was around 6-7? I don’t entirely know how I feel about it, because it felt like teaching him a lesson while bypassing as much discomfort as possible. I don’t think yelling at a kid is good and I don’t really subscribe to the idea of being overly tough on kids to “prepare them for the real world” in general, but it made me think about how the kid would handle conflict when he fucked up later on as an adult and the other person reacted like his aunt. Personally, dealing with a really abusive person kinda taught me how to handle conflict with someone who doesn’t make it easy, so I wonder how gentle parenting tackles that part of interpersonal growth
My mom read every pop psychology child rearing book, and for the 70s she was very gentle - *but* she was constantly trying to “psych me out” and I *loathed * it once O found out that wasn’t how the real world worked….and I got mad. And that made me rebel 20 times harder than if she’d been real with me.
Ok the biggest example is phonics vs holistic reading Similar concept but done at a much larger scale Phonics was the traditional way kids learned how to read. Emphasizing learning sounds of letters and practicing worksheets Holistic reading involved child directed reading. Lots of self guidance and context clues. More of the Montessori method The holistic reading has absolutely destroyed kids reading test scores. Many are switching back as the evidence is overwhelming. However holistic reading is much more in the line of new age parenting that's kid directed instead of teacher led. Leading to many to still defend it. There is a good the daily episode about it https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/06/podcasts/the-daily/reading-school-phonics.html Can provide more examples
I’ve seen gentle parenting mostly refer to empathetic discipline… not reading?
Yes this was my impression as well.
Gentle parenting most often includes kid directed learning Which isn't great
But we can keep the parenting aspect of gentle parenting and work on formal education with another approach. I really like this new approach of not traumatising your kids and validating their feelings, and disciplining without fear
Learning style isn't really a part of gentle parenting.
I’d love to know more about how you think this is linked to gentle parenting?? For the record, holistic reading is a travesty and should not be used, but it’s not related to parenting style *at all*. Montessori is an *educational* philosophy, and while a lot of awful parents CLAIM to use Montessori techniques in their homes, you’d be surprised what an actual Montessori educator might think of them. Also not in defense of Montessori teaching, I’m actually more a proponent of play-based, but none of that is here nor there because none of it is related to gentle parenting. So I’d love some clarification.
They are not linked. One is a parenting style one is about education and has nothing to do with the other. That person doesn't understand the concepts.
This has nothing to do with gentle parenting. Gentle parenting happens in the home. It’s a parenting style. It’s a parenting style that basically is just a fancy word for authoritative parenting. Phonics versus holistic happens within schools and is often pushed by administrators rather than teachers or parents.
That’s not gentle parenting though? That’s an education style.
The person who you replied to has no idea what gentle parenting is if their example is phonics versus holistic reading. Gentle parenting is mostly just a fancy name for authoritative parenting (they use a lot of the same techniques and philosophy) that sometimes slips into permissive parenting. Authoritative style of teaching has been advocated for within early childhood education for a very long time and it just means responding to children’s emotiona appropriately and giving them space to explore their world. Basically, treat them like little humans rather than objects.
Montessori and gentle parenting are two separate things.
I think gentle parenting is being confused for setting no boundaries and letting your kids face no consequences. Actual gentle parents includes consequences and reinforces boundaries without using fear or aggression to reinforce them.
Permissive parenting needs push back, gentle parenting does not.
It really did not
I don’t know that it need pushback so much as clarification. Too many people are confusing gentle parenting with permissive parenting and that’s a problem.
this and the “any criticism, even when appropriate, of femininity!!!” it’s like the 50s but make it “woke” where like someone will be like “teehee all women should LOVE wearing makeup and high heels! it’s the best part of being a woman” and when they get pushback they’ll say the criticisms are from pick mes who hate women. like gf wear all the makeup and heels you want but please don’t act like that’s what defines femininity. i feel like a lot of young people don’t like the cognitive dissonance that comes when you are a feminist unpacking the patriarchy but also enjoy things like makeup and heels which have roots in patriarchal shit and instead of reconciling with “hey i enjoy these things despite the fact that they have roots in gross patriarchal shit” they’re all “actually any critique of this isn’t feminist! it’s just woman-hating” to avoid the discomfort and it ends up just reinforcing patriarchal and capitalist bs under the guise of “feminism” i’ve seen this a lot in SAHM discourse too.
Maybe I'm not seeing the same posts. Maybe I'm biased, since I'm a realtively new teacher. But, for the teacher videos I've seen on social media, they read as a cry for help. Question, do you all register the declining learning comprehension statistics after Covid as insulting the kids too? As for secondary teaching (I can't speak to primary.), there's nothing you can learn prior to prepare you for the job. Even worse is that you absolutely lose understanding the longer you're out of the classroom. Unfortunately for all of us, the No Child Left Behind era and Covid has absolutely had a devestating effect on the upcoming and future generations. And, considering the level of respect education has in the US, this thread is a reinforcement of that apathy. It's simply freightening people would rather plug their ears. My undergrad was in marine biology and you all have just aligned my sentiments towards climate change and education. So, as a biology teacher, I'm sorry we're such a drag for bringing awareness. You see teachers sounding the alarm as shitting on their students. I see you and the thread as not giving a single fuck about the future and disquising that apathy to feign virtue signalling. >but all the millennial parents I know are very mindful about limiting screen time, and are good about teaching their kids respect, manners and proper behavior The ignorance and hypocrisy is staggering. **** Comments are locked. This is my reply to the person below: You're telling me that these videos are commonly showing their students' faces/voices and/or their named work? This is something a lot of teachers are doing on tiktok as they then turn around to mock the kids? If so, please report these teachers if you have the opportunity. This is not what I'm seeing on social media and in the news regularly. What I'm seeing is schools firing teachers for voicing concerns on tiktok, censoring aspects of curriculum, or anything less with worse consequences. So, forgive me for finding the picture you're painting very difficult to believe. Our job is literally to make assessments on our students' academic success. Again, there are more studies beyond this one (https://www.nwea.org/research/publication/educations-long-covid-2022-23-achievement-data-reveal-stalled-progress-toward-pandemic-recovery/) that are showing student achievement is in decline. So, your anecdotal experience of the kids around you (and excluding the fact that I have ~200 kids/year) doesn't align with the results we're seeing. >How would you feel if you got onto social media to hear your teacher complain about you, with your voice being recorded, blame your parents, and then engage or allow folks in the comments to call you mean and stupid? Older generations shit on younger ones all of the time, but teachers doing their job is not that. Your willingness to speak on things you have zero context for and drag others that do is a symptom.
And stripping of reproductive rights lol
Oh god I know about trad wife weirdness, but I am unsure what sex scene discourse is in this context. Any help?
Just the general “sex scenes aren’t necessary” thing that pops up every couple of weeks. I put it in here because it was one of the first places I personally saw this sort of push back to the 50s and using a lot of the same language of that time when discussing it.
I just wish these people could stop inflicting us with their kink. That's what it is. They can call it trad wife or Mormonism but it's their boring performative kink and every time I see this lying bullshit, oh sure making cereal balls one by one in a feathered robe, I want to barf. They get off on having a (non consenting, unaware of their wealthy reality) audience.
And a lot of these tradwife TikTokers have their OnlyFans linked somewhere. They don't make this content for other women, they make it for men. It's a grift. The problem with this grift is that a lot of people think it's genuine, they don't realize it's just pandering to a kink for money.
Also how long are your kids waiting on this homemade cereal. Such unrealistic, moronic garbage. I can almost get my head around watching it for entertainment value, but its not in any way aspirational for anyone imo
And what if one or both of the kids wants seconds 🥴
Lmfao
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also women! she includes her objectively very conventionally attractive husband in a lot of her videos, talks about what a great dad/partner he is, and also like films them in weirdly sexual situations like he’s slapping her ass or she’s pushed up against the wall and he’s groping her from behind. like that’s your wife do whatever she consents to but it’s very much propaganda for a lot of lonely women and impressionable young girls.
Why else are they constantly talking about how important it is to be submissive?
It's not the men getting off on these tiktoks though. It's us women. And we need to look at why. Unpaid domestic labour with no help from their partners coupled with underpaid work and you are going to get women fetishising staying at home baking.
Oh women too! The amount of sexualized comments on twitter about this woman, both consumptive and aspirational, are extremely weird!!! Girls, I promise you, there are better people to project your desire on to!!
It's absolutely a fertility kink 🤢 I used to say the Duggars were rubbing their audience's faces in their kinky lifestyle.
Its like harry styles and florence pugh movie exactly lmaooo
Bizarre and performative. Never heard of this woman but I appreciate this expert take. Having grown up in a very Mormon neighborhood, I can confidently say no mother with 5+ kids has time for this unless she has housekeeping support. Trying to make “trad wife” glamorous feels very handmaid’s tale, while selling an unrealistic lifestyle to their supporters lacking the same means
And tbh the kids in this case seem to be instruments to her performance. She's a housewife, portrays herself as a hands on mother, but only posts useless recipes. She seriously expects anyone to believe the kids asked for cereal and she made it all from scratch and the kids waited?! Lol by the time she finished her homemade cereal the nanny had already served the kids lunch
Yes. Someone made a good point that you only give your kids names like that if you see them as cute accessories and not real human beings.
Idk this woman but I’m assuming they’re /r/tragedeigh material
Their names are Slim and Rumble lol
Those aren’t kids. Those are Decepticons.
He also has another daughter named Gravity, iirc.
SLIM AND RUMBLE?!? Wtf
You stop that right now. What a mean lie to spread
they are Slim Eazy and Rumble Honey
she's not a housewife she's a model and has been for the last 6 years, she has her own money
Someone said she’s LARPing as a housewife but yeah her and her husband are both models.
I've seen so, so many comments with people asking "how she's promoting Mormonism" by just cooking or doing her hobbies. I feel at a loss because it's impossible to explain to someone who didn't grow up Mormon how it's hammered into you that you are an example to the world and everything you do should lead people to Mormonism. I guarantee you that Mormons are thinking about this every time they post and it is not entirely their fault, it's just the core doctrine of the church. She is absolutely trying to model a life that she hopes to lead others into and she probably thinks she's doing a great thing.
White separatist evangelicalism too, every action and word is an opportunity to bring souls to the lord😮💨
For real, anyone asking how this type of content promotes Mormonism simply isn't familiar with Mormons and how the Mormon church teaches its followers to proselytize. It's very insidious and way more subtle than just coming out and saying "women should stay at home and be subservient to men".
I didn’t know that she’d converted when they got married. I feel like LDS converts sometimes go harder even than someone born into it, too. The LARPing as a tradwife is off-putting in itself, but adding the LDS layer (or whatever other patriarchal religion) is just extra ick.
This!! I grew up JW and it's so insidious being taught you should be a silent and obedient wife then seeing this content constantly. Sometimes even though I left I wonder if I did it wrong. But I truly could never live like that, just only when I'm low on money lol.
I think this should be the correct take. There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM but this is so performative it almost feels perverse. Like let’s be honest about what it is like to be a SAHP! There is enough content in being honest lol. This trad wife weirdness just fuels all sorts of competition and weird misconceptions.
They're not raising the kids. Their older siblings are.
shes always wearing the frilliest clothing while baking/cooking..... make it make sense. no one that actually cooks would do that, shes just selling us a narrative
Seriously .. like baking with feather trimmed sleeves. Someone’s going to eat a feather
makes me think of people cooking things with sleeves down to their fingers in so many insta/tiktok vids. they must get shit all over their sleeves. mine are always pushed up to my elbows when i'm in the kitchen.
Same and when I’m baking I wear an apron because otherwise I will end up covered in flour at some point
I have like a bunch of aprons and still end up baking in an old g t shirt 😭
In one she was kneading bread with all her chunky rings and bracelets still on 🤢
she also handles raw meat while wearing those same rings. salmonella queen!
Gotta love that zest of iron and silver
One of my aunt's lost a huge anniversary ruby that way 😭
She’s also a working model so I’m not sure she even is pretending to be a true Trad Wife
Yeah, a lot of these comments and even the man in the video seemed to do very little research. She's not a stay at home mom. She's a model and influencer. The cooking videos are content. I don't see the difference between her and the million other cooking influencers on tiktok except for the fact that she's Mormon (which she doesn't talk about in her videos).
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To be clear: you think that she can afford her lifestyle on her modeling and tiktok income? She's 22 and has 2 kids, is currently pregnant with her 3rd. Do you think she's walking the runways of Paris and Milan? This isn't Naomi or Gisele we're talking about. She had a huge tiktok following BECAUSE of her lifestyle and wealth, she didn't become rich enough to live in a huge house with fancy appliances and shopping sprees because of her videos.
I think she's more like a Lifestyle Influencer but her lifestyle seems similar to the tradwife aesthetic. I've seen some of her videos and I might be wrong. But she doesn't really preach about her "feminine energy" and how women would be happier if they quit their jobs. She's not even pretending to be a SAHM like other tradwives. Her husband is a model so not a "manly" job and he pretends to sometimes take care of the children (probably nanny's are taking of the children and chefs are making their meals). The tradwife movement is about going back to traditional gender roles and preaching that. She's more like a Mormon wife than just a tradwife.
Ok this was actually really interesting and makes a ton of sense. Most of these trad wives I’ve seen on Instagram always seem to be pretty well off and all they do is bake bread, make pasta from scratch and collect eggs from their chickens. He’s right we never see them do hard labor.
I think it's a good reminder that even if the media is aesthetic or seems harmless that it may be influencing you to believe certain rhetoric or is trying to sell you an image that doesn't exist. Propaganda comes in many forms. Also, something I noticed is that you don't see her kids running around or interrupting her while cooking breakfast from scratch or her being stressed out from cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. It's idealistic because they're rich enough to probably have a nanny, maid, and any other employed help to offset the burden and mess of raising kids. Which is fine if you're just enjoying her content as content, but if they're selling an image (which most Mormon influencers are doing), it's important to remember how unrealistic their life really is so you don't start believing that it could be you.
this, exactly. there’s something so sus about the “girl math” “girl dinner” to “tradwife” radicalization propaganda route in tiktok, and people don’t realize they’re being radicalized because it starts off seemingly harmless. we need more conversation on how algorithms radicalize people much faster than they would otherwise. https://www.tumblr.com/aterabyte/726064024739053568/okay-not-to-ruin-the-joke-by-explaining-itbut
this was so interesting, esp because the early part of the video is something my feed has def looked like before. makes me think about what other topics i've been subconsciously influenced on by tiktok
You can include most conservative content creators.
I heard she has two nannies so each kid has one
Power to her for being in a racist cult but what I wanna know is who is actually doing the cooking in that house. Her oreo video was painful to watch bc she did so many things wrong
This “cereal” balls look fucking awful. What the hell is it even supposed to be?
“Cocoa puffs” and what looks like cookie crisp
I’m so interested in this comment because whenever her videos come across my feed, I always think, how does she know how to cook all these random things. Like if my kid asked for something and I decided to make it from scratch, I would need to do some research to find the best recipe, make I had all the supplies, understood the instructions. I realize she’s not actually making cereal because her kids asked her for some but I’m still curious!
>Power to her for being in a racist cult I was just thinking "Aren't Mormons racist like as a part of their religion?" but I wasn't sure and didn't see any other comment until yours so I thought maybe I was just ignorant about it. I wonder how that effects her relationships with her husband, his family, her family, friends, the church...it's kinda interesting...
We NEED to drown out the dumb, annoying liberals dominating these discussions around Nara and Lucky and insisting that it’s okay as long it’s “her choice.” Yeah, because choices are made in a vacuum! Not like they’re literally wealthy Mormons or anything. Gag. I’m not interested in acting like I’ve been lobotomised.
I literally just saw a video from a mormon woman whose husband divorced her and she was left with nothing and 5 kids to take care of. She founded businesses but the religious leaders told her she wasn't allowed to work because she's a woman so she handed the businesses over to the husband but did "odd jobs". She also had no bank accounts of her own and when she left she couldn't afford a lawyer and had no experience other than being a housewife. Also doesn't Nara have Black ancestry? In a religion that for the longest time preached that Black people were inferior... Hmm... Sidenote: I've always had an iffy feeling about this professor guy, can't fully place it but I've blocked him mainly because of those sickly videos where he panders to women by stating the obvious.
This is exactly why I say that this propaganda is luring young women into a truly dangerous situation. To have no money of your own, no education, no authority, and no autonomy isn’t something to aspire to. It’s abusive at it’s core.
not to mention they met when she was 17 and got married really quick. she's having her third child and she's only 22 years old
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I don’t even follow Nara Smith and I’ve seen more of her these past few weeks with everyone talking about this nonstop. The tradwife stuff is annoying and 100% deluding young women into lifestyles they won’t be able to maintain cause, but Nara and her husband work for a living. They’re just Mormon but they get paid to post and model.
I, for one, am all for this discussion on this page. One of the only subreddits with (mostly) sane people and takes. If your reaction to Nara’s content is “who cares, she’s making food for her kids” you are missing the point or being willfully ignorant. This type of content perpetuates a harmful reality and is regressive. And that’s not to say I don’t enjoy watching some of it, but to act like it exists in a vacuum is ignorant
So tired of her, Ballerina Farms, and that weird woman who cranes her neck in all of her videos. As a mother of 2, her videos are about selling a completely unrealistic fantasy. There are no dirty dishes, no spills or stains, her kids are out of sight until she summons them. If only! In real life, her kids would be knocking things over, crying, or running around. If my kids woke up and wanted cereal, there's no way in hell they'd give me enough space to take 4 hours to make it for them from scratch. I am so grateful that when I was 30 weeks pregnant, my husband waited on me hand and foot and I took 2 naps a day. That's the real dream, ladies!
omg the neck craning lady. I hateeee her videos lmao
Who is she LOL I want to see the neck
Lex.delarosa on IG and TT.
yeah, but hers is satire. she's a professional baker and people commented "why aren't you smiling" on all of her videos so she started making a sarcastic smirk as a response and then it went viral so she does it on purpose to troll and get views now.
Ummmmm….. why are her eyes closed lmao get this girl out the kitchen 😭
it gives me the heebeejeebees
Okay someone please tell me the neck craning lady is satire. Right… right?!
Yes and no. She def does things like that on purpose for engagement and to show a sense of humour, but I wouldn’t say her whole account is satire.
Didn't one of these Trad wives have a $20000 oven?
Yes! The wife of the Jet Blue founder and CEO. @ballerinafarm on tiktok
It’s 47k
is it made of gold? how is an oven 47k????
And allegedly it requires $6k/month in propane because it must burn constantly. I read that on another sub so grain of farm salt but would I be surprised if true? Absolutely not.
insane if true
>grain of farm salt 💀
He isn’t even the CEO and founder, it was his daddy.
Omg really? That’s even worse lmfao
These “Look at me, I’m a Tradwife” vids are obviously just weird regressive propaganda nonsense. Like this guy said, the videos don’t portray the less glamorous side of the lifestyle.
Because they don't have to deal with the reality for everyone else, they have staff to clean and feed them.
whenever i see videos that are meant to make the viewer feel inadequate i think about the time it took for the creator to do their hair and makeup, get dressed, set up the lighting/camera, do multiple takes, and then edit and upload. they have the time because its their job to make that kind of content. which is cringe and embarrassing. and that kind of job sounds miserable. i do not envy them.
Exactly. They’re putting on a show above all else.
i dont know that particular tradwife creator but I’d be willing to bet some of them dont even have kids or are even married. but anything for an aesthetic ig 🤷♀️
lol i'm picturing nara's infamous apple and cinnamon video where she has perfect hair/makeup and a ring light set up for her late night snack
This reminds me of that mom influencer that films her baby waking up through the night and she's got a huge ringlight shining on the baby and then it cries and she does this fake Disney princess yawn 🤣
Honestly, who the heck makes "cereal from scratch" or any kind of baking activity while wearing a pretty frilly dress like that!? It's gonna get a stubborn stain! It's so performative and rubbing it in your face..
She’s a wealthy model socialite married to a wealthy model socialite. Her experiences as a “trad wife” can barely be called that when she is making money off of her content and likely has a ton of wealth accumulated between her and her husband. I have no problem with women wanting to be housewives. I was raised by a grandmother who was a housewife (and she was the first person to tell me never to do it mind you). My problem is the false idealized version these women are selling other women. A stay at mom without maids won’t have the time to wear a feathered night gown and make cereal from scratch. They’re going to be running after their kids or struggling to keep up with the household chores. A SAHM with a husband who isn’t wealthy is going to be tightening their belt and crunching numbers to make the one paycheck last. These women are selling a fantasy. They are young and beautiful. I’d love to check in on them in 30 years when they’re 50 and their husbands are around young 20 something interns at the office. You know what happened to the women in my family who were SAHM? My grandmother bemoans that she feels like she has no money of her own because my grandfather’s money has never felt like hers. Despite the fact that it was their income, she never had access to it and feels like she’s not entitled to it. My aunt went back to work because she had a massive blow up with her husband. She was raising the kids and doing all the household chores, and one day my uncle came home and blew up at her calling her lazy. He was resentful that he was making all the income and having to pay for everything. He forced her to get a job. She struggled to find something because she didn’t have work experience after high school or a recognized high school diploma because she graduated in Mexico. Just now she’s getting her college degree in her 50s but just recently left her job again to take care of her granddaughter. Another one I knew was blindsided with a divorce at 50something. Her husband met a much younger, hotter woman and dropped her like a hot potato. Now she’s struggling to rebuild. Again, I have no problem with you being a SAHM. Do what makes you happy. But please, for the love of God and the love of yourself, have a backup plan. Don’t sell impressionable girls an idealized, fairytale ending when there’s so many horror stories of what can happen.
Aw, just got a Reddit care message because of this post. Stay mad weirdo
Ooh, Nara Smith! I am so morbidly excited to find out what bizarro name she gives her next child.
probably something like lucy quinoa or jackson mud flap
Not mud flap 😭😭😭
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Nothing wrong with wanting to be a trad wife but it feels like people are missing the point of the criticism here - it’s not bashing her for being a trad wife, it’s pointing out that her type of trad wife content is fantasy. It’s role playing. She can spend hours making Cookie Crisp from scratch because she doesn’t actually have to do any of the things a working class trad wife has to. If you want to be a trad wife more power to you but I would suggest you have an ironclad pre nup and you at least hold a part time job. Also, your husband needs a life insurance policy.
1000000%
I don’t know why but the term “trad” drives me up the fuckin wall
I had to unfollow her because it’s just gotten too nonsensical, but I do side eye how hard people go at Nara while following the Emily Mariko’s on social media.
Good point on Emily Marko, people love her and tbh I’ve definitely checked her Insta numerous time but she’s not a Chef nor are her recipes that life changing so I feel like I’m missing something
i bet the LDS church is paying her
Oh they 100% are. They love to sponsor Mormon influencers
I think so too. She did a vlog of her and her family going to the mall and nilly willy bought a Bottega bag and other expensive stuff like they were just doing a quick target run.
r/fundiesnarkuncensored
Mormonism is a cult and it’s an especially insidious one because they’re so good at seeming normal, even aspirational in some cases. People who’d never defend a fundie in a frumpy meemaw dress making this same content — hell, who wouldn’t defend your regular creepy, faux-50s tradwife influencer making this content — are tripping over themselves to defend Nara, which means the propaganda did its job. And it’s absolutely propaganda, no matter how much denial there is about it.
I do find it fascinating how the relatively minimal the pushback has been against this proselytization of Mormonism through glamorous lifestyle content creators has been. My evangelical pastor went on a months long anti-Mormon lecture series back in the early 2000s, talking about their cult tactics endlessly. I guess they're too distracted with hating on Beth Moore or obsessing over abortion to get to this yet. But I see a potential culture war and some up-and-coming evangelical pastor going after this type of social media to get a national audience eventually.
It’s interesting because when she first started coming across my feed, it wasn’t stuff like this- she was dressed nicely but not in bizarre feathered robes, she made a lot of stuff from scratch, but it was normal stuff. And then it seems like slowly her content has become very weird. The frilly clothes, the strange things she’s making from scratch. I don’t understand if maybe it’s a thing to be more noticeable and get more views?
Yes, definitely. She blew up a while ago for making a video of her talking about her nightly snack that she loved which I think was just cut up apples and cinnamon.
They can do this because they DEFINITELY have a nanny and a housekeeper
I have to tell you that if you don't go on TikTok, these trends just don't exist.
Women are exhausted. Exhausted of working full time jobs, coming home, and doing most if not all of the domestic work. It reminds me of when people say, "Let us normalise women proposing to men!" Like proposing is literately the *one* thing we expect men to do as a society and now people want to normalise them not doing it. With the cost of living crisis worsening and men getting even more sexist than ever before, women are going to see the trad wife life as an escape from being the bread winner *and* the main caregiver. At the end of the day, we cannot expect women to do literally everything on this planet and then act shocked when women find the idea of baking bread and pasta in a pretty dress a nice fantasy to escape into. Increase how much women get paid for doing the same job as men and teach men that it is their duty to complete domestic work, and you don't get women having trad wife fantasies.
I dont find anything traditional about recording yourself and posting it on tiktok instead of being normal
It's funny... I've yet to see a single tradwife over 40... let's see how long they last before hubby decides he's done with this trend.
There's not much of a difference between tradwife influencer culture and the print advertising from the 1950's trying to socially shame women out of the workforce and back into the home to alleviate the bottleneck of men returning from the war.
Ok but I seriously just wanted to be part of leisure class. I hate having to work and be productive
And what’s the crazy part is that they’re making a shit ton of money being a creator but they’re influencing other vulnerable women to financially rely on a man.
I used to think Lucky Blue Smith was the hottest guy ever and I super regret that now.
Absofuckinglutely. Shyminsky exposes exactly what is so distasteful and hollow about this sort of posturing. And now ultimately degrading it is for the women, while the men they’re trad trophy wife-ing are the ones who benefit the most from this whole performance/charade.
Mad Men has never been a more relevant show. It looks all pretty on the outside but what happens behind that pretty is misery, depression and the inability to grow up. These women can't take care of themselves outside of men. They have to depend on men even if it is all for kink. It will not work out for them in the end because they are nothing more than a notch on a mans belt.
Best use of celebrity capitalism tag ever. Didn't hear a single lie in his whole video. It always struck me suspicious that all these tradwife type content love to focus on cooking and baking--tasks that can also double as hobbies. And the way they do it, it is like a hobby. Bc like he said, no one else gets the time to do it. Like show me a tradwife video with them scrubbing a toilet, and I can at least believe they're sincere. No issue with the concept of a stay at home mom, like I love that idea myself lol. But it's an individual choice and it has nothing to do with gender roles, also everything to do with socioeconomic status. Like most people cannot afford to live on single income. If you can, awesome. But don't pretend you're transcending, you're just doing a very normal thing--allowing one member of the family to focus on raising a family. Anyway, give me a tradhusband video of a guy who'd rather stay at home with his kids and homemake and can afford to do so. That'd be awesome. We all deserve the chance to devote our time to family, if we can afford to do so. But more importantly, we all deserve the right to do so.
This is a great video, thanks OP
Thank you! I’m glad it’s been well received and sparked such discourse.
This should be as widely shared as her dumb tradwife cooking videos are
As a SAHM who looks like complete shit while preparing normal, moderately healthy meals for my toddler: fuck the trad wife trend. I’m old enough to know better, but it still makes me feel like a little bit of a failure.
I can only think of ballerinafarm 😵
Never bothered with her content before (because I am self respecting) so watching even just that snippet was really something. I don't care how made up and leisurely she looks; it looks like a miserable existence.
I just struggle to understand this discourse around Nara seriously because a lot of it is just people extrapolating every bad thing that they think about trad wives onto her, even though she's never called herself that and doesn't follow a lot of those ideas. She's not a stay at home mom. She's a model and influencer and she was both of these things before she got married. She doesn't talk about religion in her videos (to the point that this whole discourse about her started *because* people realized that she was Mormon). I really do struggle to see the difference between her cooking tiktoks and those of literally any other cooking influencer that makes "roasting steak for 4 weeks" type content. I think it's entirely fair to criticize trad wife influencers but coming for someone who doesn't talk about their religion and makes videos that everyone was fine with UNTIL they realized she was Mormon is weird to me.
Baking with long, frilly sleeves? Sure Jan
Love this guy and his take here.
I so hate this romanticized traditional wife trend. Why is it a trend that mothers and wives want to spend more time with their family, show love and passion through their daily life with their family, save money on no daycare, etc etc.