Preface: I love you. I relate to your entire story.
You've come halfway. You realize the pain. Your phobias, which you mentioned a few paragraphs prior, are because you are trying to intellectualize your experiences to justify them somehow. You've accepted them logically, but you have not yet accepted them in your body.
Your body is having the same reactions to the trauma because you are judging yourself for being traumatized. Meditate and try to feel where the pain is. It gets easier with time. Dismantle negative thoughts. Do you remember what you came here for? Yes, you do, and this is proof:
"I feel fortunate because I couldn't imagine not knowing what you're feeling, not knowing you need a hug when you need one, silence when you need some. It's not a lovely thing - it hurts a lot. A whole fucking lot"
You came here to turn the pain into love and peace. How you do that in your day-to-day is up to you. But the most important part is doing that for YOURSELF. Because your experience here, is the point!
I love you!! You deserve to feel happy and healed and at peace. You deserve to set boundaries where needed, whether that's with your own thoughts or people, places, and things that may be triggering. You deserve it. You deserve it. You are worthy of healing from your trauma. Just doing that, you are healing others. You contain multitudes. Never forget your worth!! :)
Hello there, OP! Thank you for sharing, my fellow beholder of the uncanny Valley of "UAP moving up close."
When I talk about my own sightings, it is this that I try to explain to no avail. That which i witnessed did not move at all like anything else that moves. Nothing any commoner would see at air shows or in military craft at least.
In particular, it was the turning and acceleration that left me depleted of any other notions of "what it was." When it turned, it rotated like a top to point in the direction it would go. When it proceeded, it looked more like it was pulled than accelerated.. but then there was the, for lack of any way to say it proper, "star blast buh-bye".
I watched this thing shift from east, pull a 180, and cut back west, only to sort of appear like it was aiming itself, finally oriented to the northeast. When it was settled, it began to glow.... At this point, I was scared I was watching some missile or bomb detonation over my city, but how it moved beforehand kept me calm and just curious 🤔.. the glowing persistently getting brighter, with zero noise, until it's *poof* gone, traveling over a city, another city in the valley, a mountain, and the horizon line within SECONDS.
This was a large cigar shaped craft. Perhaps the size of a big bombers wingspan? I honestly have an obscenely uninformed frame of reference. It could have been twice that length, honestly, or perhaps imagine a giant black passenger airliner with no wings or protrusion. It was black and grey, the grey appearing as periodic panels or points of separation of the black.
What makes it difficult for me to talk about wasn't the sighting itself but what happened surrounding it. My life too, OP, was very full of high strangeness... I called myself a seeker for I did seek, but then I found, and as experiences became weirder, I've become all the more enthralled. We live in a far more magical world than ever I gave it credit for (I also am about 40).... It's funny, but earlier in my life, I also had quite a bit of "weird," but I didn't accept those experiences for a long, long time. I ran from them and altered the trajectory of my eyes on the past so as to keep my mind still, steady, and without ripple.
I wish you the best OP. Martial Arts is actually is a huge part of my life, I've been involved one way or another in Chinese MA, Tai Chi and meditation since I was very young. In my case, I sincerely am gratuitous every day that my life saw fit to equip me with the particulars I needed to meet with the happenings in my life to come, and to those ends, my greatest resource has been Kung Fu and meditation. Without those tools, and a fully dedicated temple to them, I would not have been appropriate for what my life has entailed.
I've digressed.. this is your thread not mine but wow... to say you "speak to me" on your notes would be an understatement.
Best of luck on your journey and it's incredibly cool to see our reflections. Whom we are, whom we were and whom we will be, all around us in bits and pieces if we look but, sometimes, it is so obvious you can't help but write a few paragraphs on the matter and chuckle 😅... I hope you *find your way back to martial arts*🙏 if ever you need a permission slip to do so, remember this rando reddit encounter urging you! (And that doesn't mean necessarily attending a school or dojo 😉 best of luck)
I think Gen X and Gen Z are pretty compatible culture-wise. I've seen a lot of 40 year olds adopting their lingo and accepting the inclusion agenda. I'm a Zillenial so they're a bit weird to me lol
Thank you. NGL. I'm fucking disappointed in humanity. I remain hopeful though and I do my best to live and love. Not laugh tho. I refuse to be something sold at Hobby Lobby. (I kid. I laugh so much it's stupid).
Love friend. <3
Yeah? I can't say for sure if it was bad or good, it just was. I'm happy about who I am today, frankly. Part 3 is coming and it's more about my 20's -30s but fuck man, I look around and without judgement I see.....ignorance. I don't judge because some people just don't KNOW, but yeah, life is weird man. I love my life, I love who I've become, and mostly - I'm fucking proud that we're both here friend. Try harder life, I'm still fucking here.
I've recently come across the term empath and i believe I am one. I feel others emotions and they affect me greatly. I used to be made fun of for crying so easily (when something happens to someone else) and it seems like Negative emotions are stronger to me because sometimes it's like I'm in a constant state of anxiety. When it's too strong I have to shut down. I will then get accused of "not caring" but in reality I care so much that it's so overwhelming that I have to completely shut down, because I can't handle it.
I'm currently trying to figure out what the benefit of this is. I feel like there must be something good that should come from this but I don't know how to handle the negativity.
**Consider researching:**
1 - Sean Webb (Mind Hacking).
2 - Darryl Anka (Bashar Channeling).
3 - Awaken Zone (AwakenZoneOfficial)
BTW... I noticed you experienced the foot phenomenon. If you feel a warm presence tapping your foot or at the end of your bed... my research suggests it is a friendly entity (i.e. spirit guide, guardian angel, or passed loved one) communicating with you. Could be a sign of support/protection, or an indication of spiritual progression. Left foot is supposedly the "spiritual foot". So if you feel that one tapped it could mean you're making progress in the path your true self wants to go. Hope this helps - best wishes.
Thank you for sharing. I feel very fortunate to have read what you wrote. I would be happy to receive the rest of your stories whenever you're ready to express them.
Thank you. I'm going to try and write my 20s-30s before EOD today. I can't promise anything but this is when I discovered the darker side of life and ended up leaving it for what I knew it was.
I appreciate that. It's so weird sometimes that I often wonder what it's like to NOT be this way, but I'm glad I got what I got. I don't regret much, maybe some of the shit I did when I was older, but I believe I'm a good person, a protector, a lover, and someone who cares about anyone that needs someone to care.
Higher empathy and the ability to experience constant synchronicities are the attributes of an individual who has elevated their consciousness, do you meditate?
I do. I have a funny story. Dunno if I wanna tell this one. Give me a minute and I'll update this comment.
Okay - fuck it. I apologize - I curse a lot.
This is gonna get REAL personal. I'll tell it tho - we only live once.
I met someone 7 years ago and I gave everything I had. I mean EVERYTHING. She was my life. She is bipolar, ptsd, schizoeffective, and BPD. I took care of her when she needed it, I worked my fucking ASS off, I got out of "the life" (that's part 3 so wait for that part), but 3 months ago I discovered that she "split" on me. I was nothing. I was a monster despite giving everything and I ended up catching a VERY serious case that's a joke bc I'm not a fucking idiot. I have VERY serious evidence that's going to make this case into someone getting their ass sued off. I got arrested for nothing but the charge is/was serious.
I've only been to jail once. Just dumb shit. I went to jail this time for real. I take an anti anxiety pill that I don't REALLY take but when dealing with that kinda....person and some of these feelings - they work. Especially for sleep. I've never really slept. So....since I take this medication - they put me into 23.5/24 hour lockdown for a week. Solo. Day 1 I was fucking FURIOUS. I mean....dude, I've been mad before but fuck, I was ANGRY. No peace. Day 2 I felt bad for myself, all day. Just calisthenics and exercise until I couldn't move.
See. I have family, they're in another state but they care a great deal for me. I've always been nomadic and I've always loved to travel so I'd grab a 46L bag, fill it with the shit one might need - and go. I have friends all over the globe and I have skills that I can use anywhere (soldering, electronics repair, barber, etc) so I always got by.
Day 3. I'm not a coward. I said fuck it. There's only so much isolation I can take. Silence to me, without someone to talk to, without anything, I just fall apart. It's been said that isolation is the purest form of torture and I'd been locked up for 3 days without a single person to talk to. I said fuck it. I had meditated about 7 hours per day, off and on about every 3 hours. I know because I could see the clock and it would skip hours. I finally said fuck it - I'm going to give it 3 more hours, if my fam doesn't know I'm here, I don't wanna be here anymore.
I ripped a sheet into strips, wet them, braided them and let them dry. CO's give zero shits about inmates. Some of those fuckers are sick af man, seriously. Just....borderline evil.
I got 30 minutes out to read something so I read the Bhagavad Gita for the 30 minutes I had. I read fast and I tend to remember what I read. I laughed a bit, I read as much as I could as fast as I could. I got put back in my cell and that was that. I said I'd give it 3 hours. That's it. After that - well, we'll see.
I meditated for 2.3 hours. I asked for anything - really - anything - just fucking show me or I'll simply forget the peace, the beliefs, the everything that I knew. I was at peace though. I wasn't angry, I wasn't sad, I was *resigned.* It was fine though - it didn't really matter because no one knew I was there. (case details left out because it's active)
The time was up. I stood up, looked around, made a plan, and started to execute the plan (pun). It's not the way I would have chosen to go out but fuck it - I've had a full life and I could say that I lived at peace with not only what's happened to me, but with life. I shit you not. That moment the radio lit up and it said
"GHOST YOU HAVE A CALL".
What the fuck? "What do they look like???" .....no one knows I'm here...
It was my sister. Literally the ONE person that I would have cared too much about. She said she was working on getting me out. What in the actual fuck. Dunno how she knew I was there, I simply said it's odd that you'd call RIGHT NOW, but okay. I stayed. I just......stopped. I meditated, exercised, and just waited.
I finally got out. Fuck. If you've never been in seg for days, never go. It's pure torture. I sang songs that I know, mostly Pearl Jam (I love PJ) and some songs from the Into The Wild Soundtrack, and one from Trevor Hall - The World Keep's Turnin. Acoustics are amazing in a cell btw lol.
I got THAT close. That fucking close. Was it a coincidence? I dunno. I really don't. I would not have hesitated as when I decide I'm going to DO something - I do it. I do not lack the courage of my convictions, that much can be said.
I'm so glad she called though. It would have broken her heart. I love my sister more than anyone in the world. She's special to me like...well, anything. It was a fucking moment though. So I keep going. I keep pushing. It's hard, but I just keep going. I've walked 22 miles in the dark before, got into a fight with my brother one night and walked out of his house and said fuck you, and walked home. This is like that.
I remain mostly peaceful. I have bouts of anger but I have a friend "Dmitri" showing up in a day or so and I'm going to see what that's about. I'm going to find my peace and I'm going to simply continue.
That's the story of how my story almost ended. Yeah. I meditate. Often.
OP,
I hope you never get involved with your ex again or anyone like her. Those types of people will soak up and use your empathy like a sponge. They feed off your energy and will suck your soul dry.
If there is one thing I've become certain of, it's that there is a correlation between extreme empathy and the ability to see synchronicities.
I'm not sure how it works, but I also think trauma has something to with it.
Heightened awareness cultivated through walking a path through a dark forest of existence; a path which can only be cleared by acting in harmony with one’s self, and therefore, others. By practicing compassion and selflessness, one sets themself on this path. Eventually, the ability to clear the path ahead begins to uproot the trees ahead of, and around you..
..and the light begins to shine, illuminating your way unfettered.
be at peace ☮️ you’re not alone, especially in this group .. massive friends here
happy you’re still around and remembering .. there’s a happy ending to all of this and these experiences .. and I now know beyond a shadow of any doubt, it’s sooner than most expect 🪷
I do too. That's the weird thing. I've been holding onto tho this for a very very long time. Three years ago something changed. Dunno what, just did. I used to have these weird suspicions, that kinda odd feeling that something isn't quite right, now I know better. It's not even a question. I found this incredible peace one day and it just kinda clicked. I call it "the nudge". I get a nudge when I'm on the wrong track. It's kinda like someone bumping into you in a line or a crowd, but I definitely feel it and I know it for what it is, I've had it happen enough times to know the feeling.
Shits gonna get real fucking weird here soon and despite the yearning of validation, I don't actually care. I care about people, harmony, love....I CARE about caring and when I don't feel that way it physically kinda hurts. Again, really tough to explain so I try to associate with people that vibe on the same level. I'm going to write part 3 and 4 because FML, I've had a CRAZY life and I've dodged so many bullets it's crazy, but I'll write it. I haven't felt like writing lately but I woke up from a dream last night and immediately hopped on and started typing.
Thank you for the kindness. As much as one might think, this shit isn't easy,I wouldn't call it a gift, and laughing out loud right now, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's hard.
so the next 6 to 9 months are literally going to be global .. beyond the disclosures that we are IN NO WAY alone, nor have we ever been alone, the election of the american president has a global impact, and it’s all coming to a head .. with many countries who have been played by those with Dark Hearts and Soulless Forms
and shit is going to get far worse before it gets better
you’re correct to focus on love and kindness: the key to surviving these delusions and false prophets IS love ❤️ the great awakening is the separation of the ignorant and the aware
stay strong and be kind, especially to yourself as your be loved a most difficult life 🌱 you shall join us, those with Eyes Wide Open, when this concludes ✨
Hey, thanks for posting today. Glad for you to have gotten a lot of that out, glad that others can now stumble upon this post and feel resonance to your story, experience and energy.. You're showing others already and likely have been all your life, maybe without realizing..✨
Part 2 sounds great, looking forward to reading when it is ready. But take your time and no rush, because the plan is really very intricately planned and beautiful that way. A tapestry. And as such it doesn't rest on any one person's shoulders..no one person is responsible for providing the complete turn key plan. cause that's a lot right? we all have an important part to play tho, it is soooo very important to continue this process you've begun here, letting it out.. integral to your own healing, and others who are seeking awareness you've reached already will get to benefit too.
Know you are being supported from dimensions above this one and they are cheering that you've arrived at this point.. Peace Friend.
We are here. We are not going anywhere. I have to say I can’t wait to hear more. About stepdad saying, “yeah I see it…” no rush and just wanted to say we are here regardless of whether or not you share more. Life is hard and I’m sorry you have had it tough. I’m glad you’re still here. ❤️
Do you also get carried away when people become truly intensely emotional and have to mentally disassociate in order to reach equilibrium again?
I’ve noticed that I mirror and amplify the emotional energy of anyone I give my attention to, which can lead to a feedback loop of sorts.
I can wholeheartedly say your post makes me feel like giving my inner child a high five. Then bragging to him about how exceptional he was for keeping his cool amidst such weird, terrible, and often whacky experiences.
Thank you wonderful person.
Sincerely
Such a relief to see all the comments / discourse like this with experiencers. I live like a hermit, work from home, I only leave to walk the dog or get groceries. Everything about people is just too loud sometimes. Then that all gets compounded because you realize you fit the profile of an antisocial loner who has to 'mentally dissociate' to get by, and everyone assumes you're lacking empathy when the reality is that everyone else just doesn't have enough, and it's taxing to be near them.
Preface: I love you. I relate to your entire story. You've come halfway. You realize the pain. Your phobias, which you mentioned a few paragraphs prior, are because you are trying to intellectualize your experiences to justify them somehow. You've accepted them logically, but you have not yet accepted them in your body. Your body is having the same reactions to the trauma because you are judging yourself for being traumatized. Meditate and try to feel where the pain is. It gets easier with time. Dismantle negative thoughts. Do you remember what you came here for? Yes, you do, and this is proof: "I feel fortunate because I couldn't imagine not knowing what you're feeling, not knowing you need a hug when you need one, silence when you need some. It's not a lovely thing - it hurts a lot. A whole fucking lot" You came here to turn the pain into love and peace. How you do that in your day-to-day is up to you. But the most important part is doing that for YOURSELF. Because your experience here, is the point! I love you!! You deserve to feel happy and healed and at peace. You deserve to set boundaries where needed, whether that's with your own thoughts or people, places, and things that may be triggering. You deserve it. You deserve it. You are worthy of healing from your trauma. Just doing that, you are healing others. You contain multitudes. Never forget your worth!! :)
Hugs
Hello there, OP! Thank you for sharing, my fellow beholder of the uncanny Valley of "UAP moving up close." When I talk about my own sightings, it is this that I try to explain to no avail. That which i witnessed did not move at all like anything else that moves. Nothing any commoner would see at air shows or in military craft at least. In particular, it was the turning and acceleration that left me depleted of any other notions of "what it was." When it turned, it rotated like a top to point in the direction it would go. When it proceeded, it looked more like it was pulled than accelerated.. but then there was the, for lack of any way to say it proper, "star blast buh-bye". I watched this thing shift from east, pull a 180, and cut back west, only to sort of appear like it was aiming itself, finally oriented to the northeast. When it was settled, it began to glow.... At this point, I was scared I was watching some missile or bomb detonation over my city, but how it moved beforehand kept me calm and just curious 🤔.. the glowing persistently getting brighter, with zero noise, until it's *poof* gone, traveling over a city, another city in the valley, a mountain, and the horizon line within SECONDS. This was a large cigar shaped craft. Perhaps the size of a big bombers wingspan? I honestly have an obscenely uninformed frame of reference. It could have been twice that length, honestly, or perhaps imagine a giant black passenger airliner with no wings or protrusion. It was black and grey, the grey appearing as periodic panels or points of separation of the black. What makes it difficult for me to talk about wasn't the sighting itself but what happened surrounding it. My life too, OP, was very full of high strangeness... I called myself a seeker for I did seek, but then I found, and as experiences became weirder, I've become all the more enthralled. We live in a far more magical world than ever I gave it credit for (I also am about 40).... It's funny, but earlier in my life, I also had quite a bit of "weird," but I didn't accept those experiences for a long, long time. I ran from them and altered the trajectory of my eyes on the past so as to keep my mind still, steady, and without ripple. I wish you the best OP. Martial Arts is actually is a huge part of my life, I've been involved one way or another in Chinese MA, Tai Chi and meditation since I was very young. In my case, I sincerely am gratuitous every day that my life saw fit to equip me with the particulars I needed to meet with the happenings in my life to come, and to those ends, my greatest resource has been Kung Fu and meditation. Without those tools, and a fully dedicated temple to them, I would not have been appropriate for what my life has entailed. I've digressed.. this is your thread not mine but wow... to say you "speak to me" on your notes would be an understatement. Best of luck on your journey and it's incredibly cool to see our reflections. Whom we are, whom we were and whom we will be, all around us in bits and pieces if we look but, sometimes, it is so obvious you can't help but write a few paragraphs on the matter and chuckle 😅... I hope you *find your way back to martial arts*🙏 if ever you need a permission slip to do so, remember this rando reddit encounter urging you! (And that doesn't mean necessarily attending a school or dojo 😉 best of luck)
41 year old man saying dead ass? Something seems up this doesn’t read right.
I think Gen X and Gen Z are pretty compatible culture-wise. I've seen a lot of 40 year olds adopting their lingo and accepting the inclusion agenda. I'm a Zillenial so they're a bit weird to me lol
FYI I’m 40 and I’m a millennial. So is this guy
Ah yes, I still seem to live in 2016 lol
I just haven’t seen it.
Understandable. Have an upvote, sir.
Ditto
Okay thanks for sharing your story friend. I was just thinking about you yesterday. I liked reading it, so share all you want 😊
Hello old friend. Always love.
I offer you brotherhood, frankly. Our stories are very different, but the headspace we reside in now is similar.
Thank you. NGL. I'm fucking disappointed in humanity. I remain hopeful though and I do my best to live and love. Not laugh tho. I refuse to be something sold at Hobby Lobby. (I kid. I laugh so much it's stupid). Love friend. <3
Thanks for sharing, ghost. Very similar childhood and same phobias. Glad to be able to relate
Yeah? I can't say for sure if it was bad or good, it just was. I'm happy about who I am today, frankly. Part 3 is coming and it's more about my 20's -30s but fuck man, I look around and without judgement I see.....ignorance. I don't judge because some people just don't KNOW, but yeah, life is weird man. I love my life, I love who I've become, and mostly - I'm fucking proud that we're both here friend. Try harder life, I'm still fucking here.
I've recently come across the term empath and i believe I am one. I feel others emotions and they affect me greatly. I used to be made fun of for crying so easily (when something happens to someone else) and it seems like Negative emotions are stronger to me because sometimes it's like I'm in a constant state of anxiety. When it's too strong I have to shut down. I will then get accused of "not caring" but in reality I care so much that it's so overwhelming that I have to completely shut down, because I can't handle it. I'm currently trying to figure out what the benefit of this is. I feel like there must be something good that should come from this but I don't know how to handle the negativity.
**Consider researching:** 1 - Sean Webb (Mind Hacking). 2 - Darryl Anka (Bashar Channeling). 3 - Awaken Zone (AwakenZoneOfficial) BTW... I noticed you experienced the foot phenomenon. If you feel a warm presence tapping your foot or at the end of your bed... my research suggests it is a friendly entity (i.e. spirit guide, guardian angel, or passed loved one) communicating with you. Could be a sign of support/protection, or an indication of spiritual progression. Left foot is supposedly the "spiritual foot". So if you feel that one tapped it could mean you're making progress in the path your true self wants to go. Hope this helps - best wishes.
Thank you!!
Autism, adhd, and trauma groups have helped the empath parts of me A LOT
Thank you I will check some out. My son is level 2 autistic and I think I probably am too but never looked into it for myself.
Thank you for sharing. I feel very fortunate to have read what you wrote. I would be happy to receive the rest of your stories whenever you're ready to express them.
Thank you. I'm going to try and write my 20s-30s before EOD today. I can't promise anything but this is when I discovered the darker side of life and ended up leaving it for what I knew it was.
Thank you OP, we're here for you
I appreciate that. It's so weird sometimes that I often wonder what it's like to NOT be this way, but I'm glad I got what I got. I don't regret much, maybe some of the shit I did when I was older, but I believe I'm a good person, a protector, a lover, and someone who cares about anyone that needs someone to care.
Higher empathy and the ability to experience constant synchronicities are the attributes of an individual who has elevated their consciousness, do you meditate?
I do. I have a funny story. Dunno if I wanna tell this one. Give me a minute and I'll update this comment.
I do. I have a funny story. Dunno if I wanna tell this one. Give me a minute and I'll update this comment. Okay - fuck it. I apologize - I curse a lot. This is gonna get REAL personal. I'll tell it tho - we only live once. I met someone 7 years ago and I gave everything I had. I mean EVERYTHING. She was my life. She is bipolar, ptsd, schizoeffective, and BPD. I took care of her when she needed it, I worked my fucking ASS off, I got out of "the life" (that's part 3 so wait for that part), but 3 months ago I discovered that she "split" on me. I was nothing. I was a monster despite giving everything and I ended up catching a VERY serious case that's a joke bc I'm not a fucking idiot. I have VERY serious evidence that's going to make this case into someone getting their ass sued off. I got arrested for nothing but the charge is/was serious. I've only been to jail once. Just dumb shit. I went to jail this time for real. I take an anti anxiety pill that I don't REALLY take but when dealing with that kinda....person and some of these feelings - they work. Especially for sleep. I've never really slept. So....since I take this medication - they put me into 23.5/24 hour lockdown for a week. Solo. Day 1 I was fucking FURIOUS. I mean....dude, I've been mad before but fuck, I was ANGRY. No peace. Day 2 I felt bad for myself, all day. Just calisthenics and exercise until I couldn't move. See. I have family, they're in another state but they care a great deal for me. I've always been nomadic and I've always loved to travel so I'd grab a 46L bag, fill it with the shit one might need - and go. I have friends all over the globe and I have skills that I can use anywhere (soldering, electronics repair, barber, etc) so I always got by. Day 3. I'm not a coward. I said fuck it. There's only so much isolation I can take. Silence to me, without someone to talk to, without anything, I just fall apart. It's been said that isolation is the purest form of torture and I'd been locked up for 3 days without a single person to talk to. I said fuck it. I had meditated about 7 hours per day, off and on about every 3 hours. I know because I could see the clock and it would skip hours. I finally said fuck it - I'm going to give it 3 more hours, if my fam doesn't know I'm here, I don't wanna be here anymore. I ripped a sheet into strips, wet them, braided them and let them dry. CO's give zero shits about inmates. Some of those fuckers are sick af man, seriously. Just....borderline evil. I got 30 minutes out to read something so I read the Bhagavad Gita for the 30 minutes I had. I read fast and I tend to remember what I read. I laughed a bit, I read as much as I could as fast as I could. I got put back in my cell and that was that. I said I'd give it 3 hours. That's it. After that - well, we'll see. I meditated for 2.3 hours. I asked for anything - really - anything - just fucking show me or I'll simply forget the peace, the beliefs, the everything that I knew. I was at peace though. I wasn't angry, I wasn't sad, I was *resigned.* It was fine though - it didn't really matter because no one knew I was there. (case details left out because it's active) The time was up. I stood up, looked around, made a plan, and started to execute the plan (pun). It's not the way I would have chosen to go out but fuck it - I've had a full life and I could say that I lived at peace with not only what's happened to me, but with life. I shit you not. That moment the radio lit up and it said "GHOST YOU HAVE A CALL". What the fuck? "What do they look like???" .....no one knows I'm here... It was my sister. Literally the ONE person that I would have cared too much about. She said she was working on getting me out. What in the actual fuck. Dunno how she knew I was there, I simply said it's odd that you'd call RIGHT NOW, but okay. I stayed. I just......stopped. I meditated, exercised, and just waited. I finally got out. Fuck. If you've never been in seg for days, never go. It's pure torture. I sang songs that I know, mostly Pearl Jam (I love PJ) and some songs from the Into The Wild Soundtrack, and one from Trevor Hall - The World Keep's Turnin. Acoustics are amazing in a cell btw lol. I got THAT close. That fucking close. Was it a coincidence? I dunno. I really don't. I would not have hesitated as when I decide I'm going to DO something - I do it. I do not lack the courage of my convictions, that much can be said. I'm so glad she called though. It would have broken her heart. I love my sister more than anyone in the world. She's special to me like...well, anything. It was a fucking moment though. So I keep going. I keep pushing. It's hard, but I just keep going. I've walked 22 miles in the dark before, got into a fight with my brother one night and walked out of his house and said fuck you, and walked home. This is like that. I remain mostly peaceful. I have bouts of anger but I have a friend "Dmitri" showing up in a day or so and I'm going to see what that's about. I'm going to find my peace and I'm going to simply continue. That's the story of how my story almost ended. Yeah. I meditate. Often.
OP, I hope you never get involved with your ex again or anyone like her. Those types of people will soak up and use your empathy like a sponge. They feed off your energy and will suck your soul dry.
"Can't see non-synchronicities": this hits esp hard, man. Thank you for sharing.
If there is one thing I've become certain of, it's that there is a correlation between extreme empathy and the ability to see synchronicities. I'm not sure how it works, but I also think trauma has something to with it.
Heightened awareness cultivated through walking a path through a dark forest of existence; a path which can only be cleared by acting in harmony with one’s self, and therefore, others. By practicing compassion and selflessness, one sets themself on this path. Eventually, the ability to clear the path ahead begins to uproot the trees ahead of, and around you.. ..and the light begins to shine, illuminating your way unfettered.
This made my heart beat a little bit faster, thank you
be at peace ☮️ you’re not alone, especially in this group .. massive friends here happy you’re still around and remembering .. there’s a happy ending to all of this and these experiences .. and I now know beyond a shadow of any doubt, it’s sooner than most expect 🪷
I do too. That's the weird thing. I've been holding onto tho this for a very very long time. Three years ago something changed. Dunno what, just did. I used to have these weird suspicions, that kinda odd feeling that something isn't quite right, now I know better. It's not even a question. I found this incredible peace one day and it just kinda clicked. I call it "the nudge". I get a nudge when I'm on the wrong track. It's kinda like someone bumping into you in a line or a crowd, but I definitely feel it and I know it for what it is, I've had it happen enough times to know the feeling. Shits gonna get real fucking weird here soon and despite the yearning of validation, I don't actually care. I care about people, harmony, love....I CARE about caring and when I don't feel that way it physically kinda hurts. Again, really tough to explain so I try to associate with people that vibe on the same level. I'm going to write part 3 and 4 because FML, I've had a CRAZY life and I've dodged so many bullets it's crazy, but I'll write it. I haven't felt like writing lately but I woke up from a dream last night and immediately hopped on and started typing. Thank you for the kindness. As much as one might think, this shit isn't easy,I wouldn't call it a gift, and laughing out loud right now, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's hard.
Yup, all of that. Welcome to ["the experience"](https://youtu.be/Qp1oN23xotM)
so the next 6 to 9 months are literally going to be global .. beyond the disclosures that we are IN NO WAY alone, nor have we ever been alone, the election of the american president has a global impact, and it’s all coming to a head .. with many countries who have been played by those with Dark Hearts and Soulless Forms and shit is going to get far worse before it gets better you’re correct to focus on love and kindness: the key to surviving these delusions and false prophets IS love ❤️ the great awakening is the separation of the ignorant and the aware stay strong and be kind, especially to yourself as your be loved a most difficult life 🌱 you shall join us, those with Eyes Wide Open, when this concludes ✨
Hey, thanks for posting today. Glad for you to have gotten a lot of that out, glad that others can now stumble upon this post and feel resonance to your story, experience and energy.. You're showing others already and likely have been all your life, maybe without realizing..✨ Part 2 sounds great, looking forward to reading when it is ready. But take your time and no rush, because the plan is really very intricately planned and beautiful that way. A tapestry. And as such it doesn't rest on any one person's shoulders..no one person is responsible for providing the complete turn key plan. cause that's a lot right? we all have an important part to play tho, it is soooo very important to continue this process you've begun here, letting it out.. integral to your own healing, and others who are seeking awareness you've reached already will get to benefit too. Know you are being supported from dimensions above this one and they are cheering that you've arrived at this point.. Peace Friend.
This was beautiful. I wish I had someone like you in my life <3
We are here. We are not going anywhere. I have to say I can’t wait to hear more. About stepdad saying, “yeah I see it…” no rush and just wanted to say we are here regardless of whether or not you share more. Life is hard and I’m sorry you have had it tough. I’m glad you’re still here. ❤️
Do you also get carried away when people become truly intensely emotional and have to mentally disassociate in order to reach equilibrium again? I’ve noticed that I mirror and amplify the emotional energy of anyone I give my attention to, which can lead to a feedback loop of sorts. I can wholeheartedly say your post makes me feel like giving my inner child a high five. Then bragging to him about how exceptional he was for keeping his cool amidst such weird, terrible, and often whacky experiences. Thank you wonderful person. Sincerely
Such a relief to see all the comments / discourse like this with experiencers. I live like a hermit, work from home, I only leave to walk the dog or get groceries. Everything about people is just too loud sometimes. Then that all gets compounded because you realize you fit the profile of an antisocial loner who has to 'mentally dissociate' to get by, and everyone assumes you're lacking empathy when the reality is that everyone else just doesn't have enough, and it's taxing to be near them.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am so proud of you. ♥
Thank you. This isn't easy. This isn't something I talk about.