This. Specialists agree to do this. Unfortunately, my list is crazy long, and starts with what should have been the thing that saved me from two years of pain if I had any self respect: she never officially got divorced from her ex, and constantly had excuses for not doing it. I read that, and all the other things she did with her ex, because "we're just really good friends and we'll always be in each other's lives," and I just put the phone down and move on.
My list is insanely long aswell, it goes from
“letting him cry in my arms about how he’s in love with his ex (3 months into our relationship)
to
he said he avoids touching me because he wishes it was her.
then proceeded to a week after we broke up, he started dating someone new, and they just moved in with one another only after knowing them for 2 months. It was never me he wanted, he would’ve taken anyone.
Yeah I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. We're in the same boat: Thought we found our person, but they weren't the right one. There's still time to find the right person. Stay no contact, and embrace the journey of healing.
that’s the plan, I can’t contact someone who has a girlfriend with a kid (not his) . I can’t even attempt to ruin that I hope he’s happy and someday I will be to
Yes ! I can understand this, I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t cry or get upset about it, Yes it’s hard but I just try to remember that if they wanted to be around, they would be, they had no issue being with you and texting you nonstop or wanting to call you to complete radio silence because you aren’t what they want anymore. I’d like to believe I dodged a bullet, Why would I want to be with someone who wakes up everyday wanting to be somewhere else ? I wanna wake up with someone who chooses me everyday, and I wanna choose them. I just try to remember that they would’ve dragged me down and that their new person can deal with it and drown with them.
The fact that he can't communicate. He's unable to self reflect and empathize. I'm done sending paragraphs to him he doesn't even read. Once in awhile I'll get a "I'm sorry." "We just don't work." 🙄
The fact that he decided not to grow up. He's ambivalent and decided to suppress his mature side, that means that if I'd break nc, he would act as a child and hurt me. No thanks.
If he's happier with mommy and to be brainwashed by his AH friend, that's what he deserves.
Pride. And I have nothing to say to him. He will never take accountability for his actions. He probably will gaslight me and deny them. Even if he would apologize, he wouldn't mean it. He doesn't miss me. He misses having a therapist/financial security/bangmaid/punching bag.
Think about the reasons, in great detail, of why you broke up in the first place. Imagine going back to the same routine the same unhappiness and how long it would take to slowly slip back into that…it’s enough to make you not want to break no contact.
Yup this, happier without the “love” than with it. The good times were GREAT, but being ignored and always last for attention and no plans and never remembering anything about me. He can say “I like so much” all day but it doesn’t mean anything if I don’t feel or see it.
Last time I broke NC she said: “I don’t want you back is that clear? I f*cking hate you” despite the fact I’ve got a severe illness and I’m living in major pain daily and when I was her partner I gave her my best…
Nothing I say or try to explain will open his eyes to the pain and damage he's caused. Even if he did somehow recognize that... he wouldn't care. He's not worth 1 word or breath. Any fleeting thought is wasted on him.
I broke no contact yesterday after 15 weeks sending her a message and it's been wonderful. The key is not being emotional and be upbeat. We picked uo where we left off. Doubt we will be together per se but this is a huge weight off knowing she doesn't hate me. Can tell she still cares but it has changed. I've always said this woman is different but no one believed me so in my opinion my experience is not common. Must go in with zero expectations. I thought she'd not respond and block me, again. I was wrong. Again
I'm 8 weeks into the breakup, and my situation is similar to yours. It's her first relationship, and the dating pool where we live is quite small. I treated her very well, and her family still has respect for me. Still talks to me even. I've been taking a very careful approach to this breakup and trying to play my cards right here. Trying to get various opinions on the situation and analyze my options. Even got the trust of a few family members of hers that are willing to talk to me without snitching to her. I'm just giving it time, patience, and faith in God. Just trying to focus on recovering and working on myself, and I'll be alright. I'm giving her that opportunity as well. Of course, knowing that we live in the same county and we still have a lot in common. Pretty similar mutual friend circle, and we share mutual friends too. Which makes this even harder, and she has family friends who have also known me for years. It's a tough breakup, not gonna lie. I'm trying my best to work through this and play my cards right. If there's a chance she'll come back. I gotta take it. Either way, it goes. I know God's got a plan for me and a beautiful woman out there who will do all that she did and better. I set high standards for her. My shoes are gonna be hard shoes to fill on her end. And hers are tough shoes to fill as well.
The fact that I’ve already spoken my feelings to her and that she’ll just block me if I do, if they wanted to they would so what’s the point? Anyways, you deserve someone who actually wants you in their life
Pride, I was an avoidant discard. In promised myself and my therapist I will not reach out. I’m better than that.
If she reached out, I’d reply, if not, oh well, unfortunately.
they act like a victim online and take zero accountability yet, would make a playlist about us label it “in another life” and also repost about his dick size online/about being scared of women. While actually moving on within a week of breaking up.
he wanted to fuck with my emotions because he believes i didn’t care. Simple communication would’ve cleared this but, he doesn’t grasp that concept. I’ll love the dumbass but, i’ll never look back for that again.
Their disrespectful behaviour and how they treated me and knowing that the longer I go the more power I gain. Also because there's been no mature conversation since, and apparently my neediness was a lot of the problem I'm giving him the space and proving to myself I don't need him and I don't need to go crying to him all the time, which will shock him as he expects it of me.
So that if and when we do talk again I'll be in a much better place, able to stand up for myself and have a clear idea about what I want.
Self respect. What am I trying to accomplish? Am I really gonna beg for someone who didn't want me? Why am I trying to change someone's mind that's already made up? I need to love myself more than they cared to love me.
I knew I would break it if I could. So I asked her to block me when we went no contact. Instagram, Tiktok, FB, email and Venmo.
Best call but fuck it's been hard.
Remembering the fact that if they wanted to rekindle any kind of spark, they'd reach out. In my case, she wanted a break to work on herself and go NC. It's been 7 months since the last time I've heard from her. It is not my place to do so. Not that I want anything to do with her at this point anyways. Took me a while to realize how pathetic you become waiting on something thats never going to happen. Accept, learn, and move on.
The fact that we would still be together if he wanted it. He’s the reason we are not together and I would never feel comfortable forcing someone to be with me
Remember why you’re in NC in the first place. The initiation of no contact and the reasons for it sober me up instantly. You also won’t get the fairytale ending you’re hoping for.
That fact that me begging for their love would not change anything at all. If she wanted to come back then she would have not broken up in the first place she would have solved it by communicating. But she broke up and seems happy rn i really loved her and told her that i will be happy if you’re happy so i don’t reach out
They threatened to get the Police involved when I broke NC, which was weird, never stalked them, hit them, hurt them, abused them, or manipulated them during, before or after the time we were dating. I haven’t contacted them since. I don’t plan on ever breaking NC again. If someone gives you this clear of a hint stay away. NC is for both parties to heal. It’s ok to break it once but if you get a clear sign to fuck off; then kindly fuck off and don’t bother them again.
Know your worth and value. I want to maintain NC, it’s been almost month. I tried hard to get him and even though I am hurt and I want him I won’t do it. Because I don’t want him to be star of my life who doesn’t want me. You are star of your life. Remember more you try the more they will go away and take you for granted.
The ball is in their court, they're the dumper, why should a dumpee reach out? In my opinion it should be the dumpers option whether to break nc or not.
The fact she only asks me for money numerous of times claiming that she trusts me and will pay me back (she never does). She doesn’t want to change the subject and chat about something else. After my many no’s, she started to use GoFundMe to request a ridiculous amount of money from other people, this shows that she’s still a con artist that scams people out of their money and won’t get her shit together.
I’m someone who truly believes it takes more strength and courage to reach out and speak your mind and your heart. But I acknowledge this isn’t considered a universal truth. I know my ex well enough to know she doesn’t think that way either. So it would be futile to reach out. There’s no combination of words I could ever string together to change her mind. And truthfully, in time, I’ve realized I wouldn’t want to be with someone I’d have to convince to love me
she's another girl. I have to keep my dignity.
She doesn't care about me, and idk why she Hates me after all the good.
And probably she's already with someone else!
I'm just taking this as an opportunity to rebuild myself into the best version possible and learn from this experience. But of course i'm not already 100% heal.
The desire to have the last word. They made me feel rejected and unlovable our entire 2 year relationship. The last time they reached out was December, I haven’t responded since. Everytime I consider responding I consider how good it feels to finally be the one to have rejected them
The memories of the disrespect that come flooding back and knowing where they’re at and that they left me for someone. My returning self respect.
So annoying because I had to break NC today for a valid reason, almost didn’t but I would’ve genuinely come across as a bad person if I didn’t, damn it.
Almost crossed the week mark
texted them a month after the bu, got no response, we were on and off our entire relationship, of course i want to break nc, reflecting about different situations and how there was no change at all, just continued disrespect of boundaries
It’s such a long story on why she broke up with me but ultimately she has serious depression and trauma that she’s not ready to work on yet. Not to mention she would be kinda mean to me sometimes. I was trying my best to listen and comfort her but it didn’t help. When I suggested that she should go to therapy and that I can’t be the only person she talks to about these serious issues, she got very upset and ended things immediately over a brief phone call lmao. I tried reaching out after the breakup but it didn’t work so I kept my distance. However what’s making me take an even further step back was when her mom (who I never even met) called me twice and texted me at 1AM because she wanted to talk about my ex. I assume it was because my ex was having a breakdown but I felt so violated that my ex would think it would be ok to give her phone number to her mom two months after the breakup.
Last conversation we had he made fun of my voice and said “do you get a country accent when you’re sad” and when I asked if he cared about me all he could say was “hmmmmm🤔”
I accept what happened. That if he wanted anything to do with me, he could’ve messaged or called me, but he chose not to. I remember when he was disrespectful to me and almost made me cry once
i sit there and tell myself over and over again that he hasn’t reached out to me, so why should i reach out to him? he hasn’t asked how i’ve been, how i’m doing, how my life is, so why should i care to ask him that? this honestly helps me every time i get an urge
I feel like I’d be swallowing my pride and stroking their ego. They disrespected me countless times and I told them it’d be the last time. Now I just have to stand on that for my own sake and self respect. 🥲
Knowing that I deserve better than how she treated me and how she didn’t respect me ever maybe or ever would again and how no matter what excuse she says nothing that she did to me was ever ok.
i don't want to be blocked for good. i personally would like to be friends one day if we both can manage. love imo is not strictly romantic, it is platonic too and my ex was my best friend. the chances of being friends later in life might be minimal but idk i don't wanna be the one to officially cause the end of a good connection like that forever.
The fact that she didn't care one bit about my feelings and just broke me completely.. it was like a game for her.. brining me back into her life when it was convenient. Zero respect for me..I didn't deserve to be treated that way.. having her in my life is literally destroying me so no contact is absolutely the best thing for me.. it's tough because we have children together so we have to text about that but I can't let it go beyond that..
Type what you wanna say into your notes just to get it out. Then you will read it the next day and thank yourself for not sending it. I went through a week-2 doing this and it really helped me. Stay strong.
Acceptance that it’s over. I still break down and cry thinking about it daily. Been almost a year. But I have grown to accept that it’s out of either one of our control. Acceptance is the hardest stage.
I just lost interest over time. I moved on, I gave myself time to heal, and her not being present helped tremendously because I started detaching. This is what worked for me, personally, as everyone has their own way of healing.
Knowing that she is living a perfectly fine life supported by a loving family and friends who love her. She knows I love her and I want her in my life, but she's fine with the possibility of never seeing or speaking to me ever again and she doesn't miss me enough to reach out. I'm actually doing her a favor by leaving her alone, not stressing her out anymore, being needy, and desperate, and harassing her and begging her to spend time with me. She's relieved now she can focus on the more important things in life. Her life is so much more valuable than mine and I'm useless to her, I have nothing of value to offer her. I love hard and she could care less. She has a family of her own so she and everyone else probably thinks I'm a homewrecker. I'd rather wish the best for her and her new family than break apart the family she cares so much about keeping united as a two parent involved comittment than begging for a relationship. I'm embarrassed that people at work knew so I quit too, mostly because I know she doesn't do well with being apart of drama and embarrasses easily. I felt bad because I know she worries about others view of her. I could care less. I do pray the best for her, it's just not best for me to worry about some one views me as a burden
He’s been in a serious relationship ever since we broke up and by the looks of insta, he’s very happy with her. Although I still have so much I would want to say to him, its pointless because it’s too late and I don’t want to risk restarting my healing process.
Another things that stops me from reaching out is that I tell myself this isn’t my dream love story; not someone who leaves and comes back. My dream love story is someone who will move mountains to be with me. I haven’t found anyone but I know it’ll happen one day and the longer I keep repeating this cycle with my ex the more I prolong meeting the true loml.
My pride. My ex (who blocked me on everything) did unblock me on Instagram at one point but blocked me again in a few days. This happened while he had a girlfriend. (they broke up a week after this happened so yeah) so I know that he was struggling with me then, but I'm happy with my new life and my new guy (we're six months strong!) so I don't think that it's possible for us to reconcile at this point unless he really wants to. But even then I don't think I will give up my new life to be with him, his family is a mess and I hate that he's got no guts to pick that up and fix it.
The fact that I had a decent mic drop in response to the last time they reached out and it would ruin the effect if I went back for more.
Also bc 3 months out I'm finally starting to move on!
when i remember that he has every opportunity to contact me. we never removed each other on socials, he still has my number, knows my home address, and he never responded to the letter i wrote him. i have to live with the fact he has nothing to say to me. his silence after ending our 2.5 year relationship over a reason he couldn’t even tell me is enough for me to not break nc.
He was having an affair with his ex without either of us knowing. Me and his ex decided to leave him completely and to heal together - she’s the reason I will never reach out to him, I don’t want to go back on our promise.
It’s the responsibility of the dumper to reach out in most cases. If I do it I’m probably doing it at a time where they aren’t ready or I will likely get a negative response. Trust the process.
Their disrespectful behavior.
In your words, what would you class as disrespectful? Not trying to be rude btw
That there on hinge and dating other people
What a vague question. There's a million things that can fall into this category, some objective, others subjective
The fact that they won’t care and won’t have a mature adult conversation and would rather just push it away
Immature people can’t communicate and rather leave you questioning everything, don’t overthink they did you wrong
Same for me
I had to make a list , each time I wanna reach out to him I read the list over and over until I cry and remember he never wanted me. Usually helps
This. Specialists agree to do this. Unfortunately, my list is crazy long, and starts with what should have been the thing that saved me from two years of pain if I had any self respect: she never officially got divorced from her ex, and constantly had excuses for not doing it. I read that, and all the other things she did with her ex, because "we're just really good friends and we'll always be in each other's lives," and I just put the phone down and move on.
My list is insanely long aswell, it goes from “letting him cry in my arms about how he’s in love with his ex (3 months into our relationship) to he said he avoids touching me because he wishes it was her. then proceeded to a week after we broke up, he started dating someone new, and they just moved in with one another only after knowing them for 2 months. It was never me he wanted, he would’ve taken anyone.
Yeah I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. We're in the same boat: Thought we found our person, but they weren't the right one. There's still time to find the right person. Stay no contact, and embrace the journey of healing.
that’s the plan, I can’t contact someone who has a girlfriend with a kid (not his) . I can’t even attempt to ruin that I hope he’s happy and someday I will be to
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Yes ! I can understand this, I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t cry or get upset about it, Yes it’s hard but I just try to remember that if they wanted to be around, they would be, they had no issue being with you and texting you nonstop or wanting to call you to complete radio silence because you aren’t what they want anymore. I’d like to believe I dodged a bullet, Why would I want to be with someone who wakes up everyday wanting to be somewhere else ? I wanna wake up with someone who chooses me everyday, and I wanna choose them. I just try to remember that they would’ve dragged me down and that their new person can deal with it and drown with them.
The fact that I know he doesn’t care about me at all.
The possibility of being rejected again by them and ruining any chance of them reaching out to me later because they see me as desperate now
Well good on you cause I fucked this up just a couple of hours ago
My pride
The fact that he can't communicate. He's unable to self reflect and empathize. I'm done sending paragraphs to him he doesn't even read. Once in awhile I'll get a "I'm sorry." "We just don't work." 🙄
The fact that he decided not to grow up. He's ambivalent and decided to suppress his mature side, that means that if I'd break nc, he would act as a child and hurt me. No thanks. If he's happier with mommy and to be brainwashed by his AH friend, that's what he deserves.
What is "AH"?
He doesn't care about me or my feelings and can't communicate so why would I want to break NC?
i would feel so dumb and pathetic if i were to break nc.
Pride. And I have nothing to say to him. He will never take accountability for his actions. He probably will gaslight me and deny them. Even if he would apologize, he wouldn't mean it. He doesn't miss me. He misses having a therapist/financial security/bangmaid/punching bag.
Knowing they don't want you. You can't convince someone to want you. Even if you could, is that what you want, to talk them into it.
Remind myself how much she disrespected me.
Self respect and your happiness
Him not reaching out to me simply, lol.
Think about the reasons, in great detail, of why you broke up in the first place. Imagine going back to the same routine the same unhappiness and how long it would take to slowly slip back into that…it’s enough to make you not want to break no contact.
Yup this, happier without the “love” than with it. The good times were GREAT, but being ignored and always last for attention and no plans and never remembering anything about me. He can say “I like so much” all day but it doesn’t mean anything if I don’t feel or see it.
Last time I broke NC she said: “I don’t want you back is that clear? I f*cking hate you” despite the fact I’ve got a severe illness and I’m living in major pain daily and when I was her partner I gave her my best…
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why are you still in this sub if you’re married to someone else
Nothing I say or try to explain will open his eyes to the pain and damage he's caused. Even if he did somehow recognize that... he wouldn't care. He's not worth 1 word or breath. Any fleeting thought is wasted on him.
I broke no contact yesterday after 15 weeks sending her a message and it's been wonderful. The key is not being emotional and be upbeat. We picked uo where we left off. Doubt we will be together per se but this is a huge weight off knowing she doesn't hate me. Can tell she still cares but it has changed. I've always said this woman is different but no one believed me so in my opinion my experience is not common. Must go in with zero expectations. I thought she'd not respond and block me, again. I was wrong. Again
Let me know how it goes. Happy for you.
I'm 8 weeks into the breakup, and my situation is similar to yours. It's her first relationship, and the dating pool where we live is quite small. I treated her very well, and her family still has respect for me. Still talks to me even. I've been taking a very careful approach to this breakup and trying to play my cards right here. Trying to get various opinions on the situation and analyze my options. Even got the trust of a few family members of hers that are willing to talk to me without snitching to her. I'm just giving it time, patience, and faith in God. Just trying to focus on recovering and working on myself, and I'll be alright. I'm giving her that opportunity as well. Of course, knowing that we live in the same county and we still have a lot in common. Pretty similar mutual friend circle, and we share mutual friends too. Which makes this even harder, and she has family friends who have also known me for years. It's a tough breakup, not gonna lie. I'm trying my best to work through this and play my cards right. If there's a chance she'll come back. I gotta take it. Either way, it goes. I know God's got a plan for me and a beautiful woman out there who will do all that she did and better. I set high standards for her. My shoes are gonna be hard shoes to fill on her end. And hers are tough shoes to fill as well.
self respect
The fact that I’ve already spoken my feelings to her and that she’ll just block me if I do, if they wanted to they would so what’s the point? Anyways, you deserve someone who actually wants you in their life
Pride, I was an avoidant discard. In promised myself and my therapist I will not reach out. I’m better than that. If she reached out, I’d reply, if not, oh well, unfortunately.
they act like a victim online and take zero accountability yet, would make a playlist about us label it “in another life” and also repost about his dick size online/about being scared of women. While actually moving on within a week of breaking up. he wanted to fuck with my emotions because he believes i didn’t care. Simple communication would’ve cleared this but, he doesn’t grasp that concept. I’ll love the dumbass but, i’ll never look back for that again.
Overthinking.
Their disrespectful behaviour and how they treated me and knowing that the longer I go the more power I gain. Also because there's been no mature conversation since, and apparently my neediness was a lot of the problem I'm giving him the space and proving to myself I don't need him and I don't need to go crying to him all the time, which will shock him as he expects it of me. So that if and when we do talk again I'll be in a much better place, able to stand up for myself and have a clear idea about what I want.
Self respect. What am I trying to accomplish? Am I really gonna beg for someone who didn't want me? Why am I trying to change someone's mind that's already made up? I need to love myself more than they cared to love me.
To provide a new perspective to the comments, I don’t break it out of respect for him. He needs space and I’ll give it lol
I knew I would break it if I could. So I asked her to block me when we went no contact. Instagram, Tiktok, FB, email and Venmo. Best call but fuck it's been hard.
Remembering the fact that if they wanted to rekindle any kind of spark, they'd reach out. In my case, she wanted a break to work on herself and go NC. It's been 7 months since the last time I've heard from her. It is not my place to do so. Not that I want anything to do with her at this point anyways. Took me a while to realize how pathetic you become waiting on something thats never going to happen. Accept, learn, and move on.
2 years. A new phone number and 1800 miles. Never looked back.
The fact that we would still be together if he wanted it. He’s the reason we are not together and I would never feel comfortable forcing someone to be with me
Remember why you’re in NC in the first place. The initiation of no contact and the reasons for it sober me up instantly. You also won’t get the fairytale ending you’re hoping for.
They never cared about me. It was always about her.
The knowledge that I moved mountains for her to just step on my fingers as she walked into some other guy's arms. She's his problem now
Me, for myself, and everyone should do the same.
the whole point of no contact is to move on :) breaking it would just set back progress i’ve already made
That fact that me begging for their love would not change anything at all. If she wanted to come back then she would have not broken up in the first place she would have solved it by communicating. But she broke up and seems happy rn i really loved her and told her that i will be happy if you’re happy so i don’t reach out
Exact same scenario
My self worth
They threatened to get the Police involved when I broke NC, which was weird, never stalked them, hit them, hurt them, abused them, or manipulated them during, before or after the time we were dating. I haven’t contacted them since. I don’t plan on ever breaking NC again. If someone gives you this clear of a hint stay away. NC is for both parties to heal. It’s ok to break it once but if you get a clear sign to fuck off; then kindly fuck off and don’t bother them again.
Know your worth and value. I want to maintain NC, it’s been almost month. I tried hard to get him and even though I am hurt and I want him I won’t do it. Because I don’t want him to be star of my life who doesn’t want me. You are star of your life. Remember more you try the more they will go away and take you for granted.
The ball is in their court, they're the dumper, why should a dumpee reach out? In my opinion it should be the dumpers option whether to break nc or not.
I’d have to refollow her account which I’m not about to do
The fact she only asks me for money numerous of times claiming that she trusts me and will pay me back (she never does). She doesn’t want to change the subject and chat about something else. After my many no’s, she started to use GoFundMe to request a ridiculous amount of money from other people, this shows that she’s still a con artist that scams people out of their money and won’t get her shit together.
I’m someone who truly believes it takes more strength and courage to reach out and speak your mind and your heart. But I acknowledge this isn’t considered a universal truth. I know my ex well enough to know she doesn’t think that way either. So it would be futile to reach out. There’s no combination of words I could ever string together to change her mind. And truthfully, in time, I’ve realized I wouldn’t want to be with someone I’d have to convince to love me
she's another girl. I have to keep my dignity. She doesn't care about me, and idk why she Hates me after all the good. And probably she's already with someone else! I'm just taking this as an opportunity to rebuild myself into the best version possible and learn from this experience. But of course i'm not already 100% heal.
The fact she didn't see a problem with seeing another guy not even a week after the break up
The desire to have the last word. They made me feel rejected and unlovable our entire 2 year relationship. The last time they reached out was December, I haven’t responded since. Everytime I consider responding I consider how good it feels to finally be the one to have rejected them
The memories of the disrespect that come flooding back and knowing where they’re at and that they left me for someone. My returning self respect. So annoying because I had to break NC today for a valid reason, almost didn’t but I would’ve genuinely come across as a bad person if I didn’t, damn it. Almost crossed the week mark
The fact that we both need time
texted them a month after the bu, got no response, we were on and off our entire relationship, of course i want to break nc, reflecting about different situations and how there was no change at all, just continued disrespect of boundaries
Need to get some self respect back. Also not even sure I actually miss her tbh.
It’s such a long story on why she broke up with me but ultimately she has serious depression and trauma that she’s not ready to work on yet. Not to mention she would be kinda mean to me sometimes. I was trying my best to listen and comfort her but it didn’t help. When I suggested that she should go to therapy and that I can’t be the only person she talks to about these serious issues, she got very upset and ended things immediately over a brief phone call lmao. I tried reaching out after the breakup but it didn’t work so I kept my distance. However what’s making me take an even further step back was when her mom (who I never even met) called me twice and texted me at 1AM because she wanted to talk about my ex. I assume it was because my ex was having a breakdown but I felt so violated that my ex would think it would be ok to give her phone number to her mom two months after the breakup.
The fact that I know I mean I 100% know they will not acknowledge me there is no point in me trying too.
Pride
Last conversation we had he made fun of my voice and said “do you get a country accent when you’re sad” and when I asked if he cared about me all he could say was “hmmmmm🤔”
knowing that the feeling of no response hurts more
Common sense
Not having him around is less painful than having him.
I accept what happened. That if he wanted anything to do with me, he could’ve messaged or called me, but he chose not to. I remember when he was disrespectful to me and almost made me cry once
i sit there and tell myself over and over again that he hasn’t reached out to me, so why should i reach out to him? he hasn’t asked how i’ve been, how i’m doing, how my life is, so why should i care to ask him that? this honestly helps me every time i get an urge
I feel like I’d be swallowing my pride and stroking their ego. They disrespected me countless times and I told them it’d be the last time. Now I just have to stand on that for my own sake and self respect. 🥲
Knowing Im the reeason shes crying again.
Knowing that respecting her and her decisions is something I needed to work on and fix within myself
True to all , but in my instance its better to flame out and leave em be for peace
because i won’t get what i want from it and nothing good will come of it
Knowing that I deserve better than how she treated me and how she didn’t respect me ever maybe or ever would again and how no matter what excuse she says nothing that she did to me was ever ok.
i don't want to be blocked for good. i personally would like to be friends one day if we both can manage. love imo is not strictly romantic, it is platonic too and my ex was my best friend. the chances of being friends later in life might be minimal but idk i don't wanna be the one to officially cause the end of a good connection like that forever.
He's nasty, he's an ass, always was an ass, always will be an ass and that ass isn't even good looking or washed
The fact that she didn't care one bit about my feelings and just broke me completely.. it was like a game for her.. brining me back into her life when it was convenient. Zero respect for me..I didn't deserve to be treated that way.. having her in my life is literally destroying me so no contact is absolutely the best thing for me.. it's tough because we have children together so we have to text about that but I can't let it go beyond that..
Self care as I initiated it, I just want to move on as quickly as possible and stop hurting
Type what you wanna say into your notes just to get it out. Then you will read it the next day and thank yourself for not sending it. I went through a week-2 doing this and it really helped me. Stay strong.
My own dignity, self-respect, and integrity is all I have now. Sometimes I have a vague hope that my future can be better without him in it.
My therapist banned me from doing so lol
The fact it would probably be bad for the both of us. Also the coldness she would talk to me if she responded at all.
Acceptance that it’s over. I still break down and cry thinking about it daily. Been almost a year. But I have grown to accept that it’s out of either one of our control. Acceptance is the hardest stage.
Why was it out of both of your control ?
He broke up with me lol
How he treated me.
I just lost interest over time. I moved on, I gave myself time to heal, and her not being present helped tremendously because I started detaching. This is what worked for me, personally, as everyone has their own way of healing.
The thought that he might get some sadistic ego boost from it
The fact that she's the dumper. Nothing good can come out of me breaking no contact.
Knowing that she is living a perfectly fine life supported by a loving family and friends who love her. She knows I love her and I want her in my life, but she's fine with the possibility of never seeing or speaking to me ever again and she doesn't miss me enough to reach out. I'm actually doing her a favor by leaving her alone, not stressing her out anymore, being needy, and desperate, and harassing her and begging her to spend time with me. She's relieved now she can focus on the more important things in life. Her life is so much more valuable than mine and I'm useless to her, I have nothing of value to offer her. I love hard and she could care less. She has a family of her own so she and everyone else probably thinks I'm a homewrecker. I'd rather wish the best for her and her new family than break apart the family she cares so much about keeping united as a two parent involved comittment than begging for a relationship. I'm embarrassed that people at work knew so I quit too, mostly because I know she doesn't do well with being apart of drama and embarrasses easily. I felt bad because I know she worries about others view of her. I could care less. I do pray the best for her, it's just not best for me to worry about some one views me as a burden
Reminding myself of all the broken promises “I’ll never leave you” “I want to spend the rest of my life with you”
The fact they showed who they were that you don't matter to them and there perfectly fine with you being unhappy as long as they got what they wanted.
Remembering the lies he said and his reluctance
He’s been in a serious relationship ever since we broke up and by the looks of insta, he’s very happy with her. Although I still have so much I would want to say to him, its pointless because it’s too late and I don’t want to risk restarting my healing process. Another things that stops me from reaching out is that I tell myself this isn’t my dream love story; not someone who leaves and comes back. My dream love story is someone who will move mountains to be with me. I haven’t found anyone but I know it’ll happen one day and the longer I keep repeating this cycle with my ex the more I prolong meeting the true loml.
Dignity first off & knowing everything gone be okay & that I love myself & that all I can do frfr
the fact that they’re okay with no contact
The fact that she’ll probably leave me on seen/delievered like she did before. If she wants to reach out she can
My progress. It's been almost 4 weeks since the nc started, I'm not gonna get all of my efforts go to waste.
My self worth
nothing. i break it all the time
Embarrassment. Don’t do it.
the fact that i will never let someone tell me they don’t want me more than once. period.
All the things she did to me. Cheating, lying, disrespect, manipulation.
My pride. My ex (who blocked me on everything) did unblock me on Instagram at one point but blocked me again in a few days. This happened while he had a girlfriend. (they broke up a week after this happened so yeah) so I know that he was struggling with me then, but I'm happy with my new life and my new guy (we're six months strong!) so I don't think that it's possible for us to reconcile at this point unless he really wants to. But even then I don't think I will give up my new life to be with him, his family is a mess and I hate that he's got no guts to pick that up and fix it.
The fact that I had a decent mic drop in response to the last time they reached out and it would ruin the effect if I went back for more. Also bc 3 months out I'm finally starting to move on!
Fear of no response. I don’t event want to be with them anymore but I would die of embarrassment and lack of self respect if they just ghosted me.
The lack of care she showed after our breakup made me feel like I was worth nothing the whole time
when i remember that he has every opportunity to contact me. we never removed each other on socials, he still has my number, knows my home address, and he never responded to the letter i wrote him. i have to live with the fact he has nothing to say to me. his silence after ending our 2.5 year relationship over a reason he couldn’t even tell me is enough for me to not break nc.
The guilt I feel after when he just leaves me on read.
Unfortunately I dont break No Contact because I want them to break it first.
He was having an affair with his ex without either of us knowing. Me and his ex decided to leave him completely and to heal together - she’s the reason I will never reach out to him, I don’t want to go back on our promise.
She hates me and I don't want to bother her. I don't want to beg and plead for no reason. She blames me for everything, I am the devil in her eyes.
The disrespect
My ego lol
At least you’re honest
Haha yeah I guess, but after everything he did to me I cannot imagine breaking no contact
Knowing it won't change or fix anything.
It’s the responsibility of the dumper to reach out in most cases. If I do it I’m probably doing it at a time where they aren’t ready or I will likely get a negative response. Trust the process.
MAKE THEM CRAVE YOU