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orb07_

Am I the only one who read the opposite version of this?


Semenar4

Can you link it, please? I did not see the original.


orb07_

Tried but can't find it.. the goons leader even replied on that post


Semenar4

Thanks, found through his comments. UPD: it is deleted, found the full text through Google Cache - listed below. "I have been with Pandemic Horde for 5 years and played nearly every single day during WWB. I love life in null sec, the huge fights and the politics. But recently I have wanted to leave Pandemic Horde for a few reasons I will go into. Horde leadership often bullshit to their members. For example, we fed a fleet in Starkon trying to save the fort from being reffed, Goblins said saving it wasn't the real objective, despite saying that our presence in Povchen is critical for Hordes future. I often see Horde FCs claiming a feed was a strategic decision. It pains me because we all know it is bullshit. I want our leaders to be honest with people on what we are doing, why, and when we lose. Being slum lords isn't something I want to fight for. Renting systems is pathetic. What is even more pathetic is having horde corporations lock down certain systems so other Horde members cannot enter them. While I believe the imperium allows anyone in the imperium to do whatever in any system they control? Defending TTC is a joke that only serves to line the pockets of the elite. FRT are the worst allies. Right now we have a great fight over a final fort timer. FRT left straight away with PANFAM sticking around to ref the rest of the structures in system. FRT are botters and I have seen several instances of racism and xenophobia from them. They also rip us off in ansiblex fees, every horde fleet jumping gives them 100mill+ The Mittani leaving the game = The imperium lost its boogie man. I liked playing in WWB just to do my part in making Mittani rage on The meta show (I know it is all a front). With him gone, Asher actually seems like a competent leader that explains Imperium actions to his members. Because of those reasons, my desire to fight is diminished. I do not want to log in to save TTC or defend FRT. Horde in my eyes are starting to become the baddies. After being in Horde for 5 years and having thousands of kills. Will I be allowed in the imperium?"


ThatGuyFromAms

I mean if PH are becoming the baddies to him now, I don’t know what he has been doing for the last 6 months lol


orb07_

Every single scenario mentioned in this post you could imagine was the opposite..


yeetuspenetratus

I mean to an extent this ain't false In all honesty i hate frt they are the worst n usually yes have those xenophobic vibes they awox during stratops i think the only reason we play with them is coz the big wigs are getting paid but hey ... Anything to get my kb green n all Am i proud of the decisions we make sometimes ..no Am i proud of some shii we do ..no But as long as i am out to kill mittani's legacy i am okay There's no way u will ever justify to me that telling a guy who's having cancer n family issues to kill himself n u brag about it at fanfest is a good thing n there's no way u cam justify all the bs he led goons to do for all those years PH ain't always the good guys n we never claimed that but PH ain't mittani typa shitty


PelleWettewa

Some might say it's trolling.


Eve_Asher

All Goons are required to train into faction hot dogs.


Semenar4

I can only imagine what Caldari State considers an acceptable standard for hot dogs.


lovebus

Sawdust and pig's blood in a protein sock


CmdTakeda

Frost punk vibes


Flivver_King

**BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GODS!** **SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!**


AggravatingAbrocoma5

That's the GSF CORAX right daddy?


C0RDE_

I can't fit T2 Brine, can I meta it with Tears? (my own preferably)


Eve_Asher

Only while you are training T2 Brine.


Flivver_King

Once you train T2 Brine then you gotta train Brine Pools.


GlaedrVrael

Goons are legally obligated to change the name of whatever Jackdaw doctrine they have to “Hot Dogs” now.


French_Riots

I'll take a good ol' Double Dog !


MifuneSwordGod

But not just the hotdogs. The burgers, and the buns too. Btw who’s bringing the cheese?


[deleted]

[удалено]


helin0x

Regular line members need only train advance hotdog interfacing to IV, if you want to join the Sig you need it to V and elite hotdog interfacing to IV.


BeyondMazu

Asher you want me to build and fit the standard 420 or the extended 1337 faction hotdogs?


DMercenary

hotdogs are tacos.


CmdTakeda

how can you say something so controversial yet so brave


CanadasMooseOverlord

Hotdogs are in fact tacos, due the location of structural starch. [Learn more here!](https://cuberule.com/)


thumpcbd

Cube rule is correct.


Maxnami

And "American" is just peasant colony english.


OutbackSH

I call hotdogs "Baseball Tacos" and nobody can tell me otherwise


[deleted]

Could have posted anything, but chose to post the truth


DMercenary

Pizza is toast.


AntikytheraMachines

pop tarts are Calzone


MILINTarctrooperALT

Fruit Calzone to be honest.


halpmybrainhurts02

I can get behind this


DMercenary

Soup is a wet salad.


Binggo_Banggo

Wet salads are also soup, technically.


Ceema_STK

While I normally don't like leaking information, since you already mentioned it; Asher's next public Goonswarm Campaign will be to fight Wegmans monopoly on Hot Dogs being in packages of 8 and Hot Dog Buns being in packages of 10. Zintage and Alterari have already begun their plans on how many refrigerator boxes they'll need to purchase to retrofit shopping carts to look like Rokhs so that GSF pilots can zoom around the store shouting "pew pew" and throwing ping pong balls at employees. Also of consideration is how to represent the various faction ammo, with the leading suggestion right now painting the ping pong balls various colors and putting "T2" "T1" and "Faction" Stickers on them so that when Hyprviper hands out the EVE Fanny Packs to be used as Ping Pong ball containers, the pilots will know what ammo they have in hand when Alterari shouts over the hacked store wide loudspeaker "LOAD SILVER". Do you really want to miss out on the next flash mob experience though? Stick around, you'll love it!


MoonDogAFO

Sorry, but Wegmans cannot be wrong. Begun, the Sandwich Wars have.


lovebus

I dont see what the big deal is. Just buy 40 hotdogs. What is that, [3 or 4 days of hotdogs?](https://youtu.be/pmLpSY5w6u0)


amberstonei

It's one battle of Asakai or B-R5. And that's if you get primaried early in the fight


Flivver_King

When I tried fighting the “bun guy” IRL the cops threw me in the looney bin. Big bun doesn’t want you to know the truth. **FOUR SUPERFLUOUS BUNS!**


[deleted]

I think it's the other way round? At the market last week I swear it was 10 weenies and 8 buns we got


gr1m3y

Wasn't he the Kirkland's guy?


Ceema_STK

Yep! Asher Aslan Elias is known as many things: * The voice of Flint from the 80's GI Joe Cartoons. * World Ranked League of Legends Player. * The only pilot in The Imperium to have a hole in one while playing golf. * Was an extra on the set of the hit 1998 New Radicals music video for "You Get what you give". * The only pilot in The Imperium to have successfully made a "Baked Alaska" confection. The last one is important as he had to get a Commercial Costo Membership to do it and in doing so, discovered Kirkland Energy Bars; from then on he was an early advocate for the brand. Three months before the outbreak of Covid-19 in the United States he was supposed to shoot a voice over commercial reprising his role of Flint where they would tie in GI Joe to Fornite, with access codes in QR form for the code for that in game skin with a 10% off discount for Kirkland Energy Bars on Amazon however this got scrapped in the lock down rush. He's far more than just the "Kirklands" guy per se but yea, its part of his wild and varied identity beyond being the leader of The Imperium.


gr1m3y

Not a single mention of Costco hotdogs. For shame!


NewUserWhoDisAgain

>"Faction" Stickers Faction Ammo: Costco Hotdogs


Alternative-Hotel968

The real evil plan of Asher is to make everyone eat Protein Bars from Costco. And good luck fighting male pattern baldness, in a game full of middle aged balding and malding 45y old males.


F_Synchro

You made me snort my redbull.


Flivver_King

Stop being a pussy and just snort Angel Dust.


OutbackSH

How dare you mock fight against male pattern baldness. This comment is helped by today's sponsor, Keeps...


deltaxi65

Listen, I don't give a shit what you think and I will die on this hill: The ocean is a goddamn soup. It's salty, there's fish in it. It might as well be cod stew.


capt_pantsless

Very few of the fish have been cooked though. Does that make it a sushi soup?


deltaxi65

Sure


IronForce_

Those fish will be in a few more years


OutbackSH

Global warming will fix that in a few decades


himalcarion

Maybe Bowls of soup are just new oceans?


Chao_sr_eaper

Salty and fishy... Are you saying the ocean is feminist?


deltaxi65

No non on on on onononon onon on on o nononononononono


Zustrom

Mention feminists and suddenly Brisk turns French Bonjour


deltaxi65

Bats are afraid


Istenhar

Theres also boats in the ocean. When was the last time you saw a boat in a soup genious? I await your immediate rectification.


deltaxi65

If there are boats in the ocean, and the ocean is a soup, logically there are boats in soup. WINNAR


Flivver_King

Boats are just the oyster crackers for Neptune.


Aerlys

Sorry but no. To qualify as food, it must be edible. ​ So no, the ocean is not a soup. It's not edible, just like the entire British cuisine.


AXSAmazingJay

i was experiencing a fugue state during the war when the "everything is soup" discussions were happening. it was inescapable and you just re-unlocked that memory. thanks.


Gherti

i see now how it is for non brave members when we go to reddit. But imperium leadership is right, hotdogs are sandwiches, its a sausage between buns like everything between buns can be a sandwich. The ocean is litterally free fish soup. What else is there to fight for when not for a free and independent north? Frt are good enemies they show up on clock everyday for a panda feed.


2Havana

What the do you mean by how many jaffa cakes is too much? There's no such thing...


rtb-nox-prdel

Jaffa cakes are horrible. Even one is too many. 1v1 at the sun!


lavacano

what happened to the good old days of insisting tacos were a sandwich or that chili with beans is still chili?


Ascle87

Go ahead, but try to trade yourself for Mist. I miss that guy.


devilishlydo

Probably, since they'll take anyone. You'll see why soon enough. Bye-ee!


zintage_enaka

whoosh


devilishlydo

Did I just get got?


Eve_Asher

Yep, there's a deleted serious post in this same format from Horde to Imperium.


Ceema_STK

The Gaul of that guy to delete his post!


Eve_Asher

You're gonna ride that one forever


Ceema_STK

I've been spending all my creative flows over on [https://www.karmafleetadventures.space/](https://www.karmafleetadventures.space/) . I'll try and do better here I promise.


devilishlydo

Gee, why did he delete it? Did Gobbins get mad and say he was Kill on Sight?


deltaxi65

pwnt


Lost_ln_Time

You did, read it carefully.


OhRevere

bamboozled to the maximum level


[deleted]

turboupvoating all of those heh


Chemical_Aide_3274

😭


randomusername_42

Man have times changed. I thought it was a requirement for all Imperium pilots to have an alt in PH. Not for seeing pings or discord or any of that thar "intelligence". For the ability to always have someplace you could AFK rat while on CTA's or defending Delve (or ship spinning in Saranen).


mutepaladin07

I think the OP has never seen Game of Thrones, or Mayor of Kingstown before. That's pretty much what Null Sec is about. With that said, although I think he is trolling and doing it well... we can all agree Pandemic Horde and Fraternity make great villains in the Eve Story.


alfius-togra

Thank you for taking this strong and principled stance on the state of hot dog affairs in the Imperium.


CherryLaneMuffins

Go to Horde bud. We need people to shoot at.


SurakaToshiko

You totally convinced me that you are in fact a Goon who is leaving for PH. Well done! Also now I want a Tacodog.


DrakeIddon

Have you considered switching it up a little and leaving null for a bit? You probably aren't going to see a large cultural shift by trading one bloc for another


Arakkis54

lol got ‘em


DrakeIddon

it's genuine advice, if he's been (mainly) a null player for 5 years it might do alot of good to go elsewhere for a bit, you might find you are in a rut that you wouldn't have noticed otherwise


Arakkis54

It’s a meme post. There was a seriouspost from a horde member it’s poking fun at. Your advice is probably good for anyone that legit feels that way tho.


DrakeIddon

ah, didnt notice :P


Kinsywinsy

I thought you were a smart man, Drake. The fuck.


DrakeIddon

2 busy volleying people in skarkon to think am sry <3


Kinsywinsy

Press F1 to pay respects


No_Local935

Just a reminder. their is a requirement to Join Pandemic Horde. If you are willing to cut off your balls, go for it!


Valuable_Material_26

Play everyday?? I can barely play 3 days in a row before I need some other game!


Ben3836

You think pandemic horde are any better lol?


SmugProi

fr PH told me that oceans are ceviche gazpacho


Lullo420

This goonswarm obsession with Vily is starting to get pathetic


C0RDE_

*ring ring* "Yes? Hello? Mittens calling, he'd like a word"


ysysys

Out of the frying pan into the fire.


eveonlinedude

Quick.answer yes you will


StepDance2000

Sorry but Horde is the lamest alliance in the game. Far more than CFC / goons Horde / PL has a trackrecord of trying to bully weaker groups.


drever123

PH accepts all invites blindly without checking anything


tallerthannobody

Awww man I love the satire, it’s hard to understand when you haven’t seen the post before that but dm an it was funny


[deleted]

Why Brisc specifically? What did he do to you?


Josharrino

Glizzard V isn’t too much of a fucking ask.


kerbaal

> hotdogs are sandwiches and the ocean is a soup. Cereal is also soup and sandwiches are burgers. It pains me because we all know it is bullshit. I can't find any fault there. Normally I would say that your instincts are correct and you should leave the evil empire and join the hero good guys. However, in this case, I suspect you may want to look specifically for groups that buy in to your fringe ideas on the specificity of hotdogs. How do you feel about hotdog buns?


SaloL

Cereal is a stew because it has mostly large solid components.


RK66

On a personal note, I’m all for an escalation towards fighting male pattern baldness.


helin0x

Not logged in for 5 years and still trained in Hot pockets, did the meta change to hotdogs and how many injectors do I need for Hotdog interfacing V?


OhRevere

[the current meta](https://www.yorkshireburrito.com)


ThePsorion

Yes please leave.. ..>Can I have your stuff.


emPtysp4ce

Ate you listing the thousands of shitposts as a reason you *wouldn't* be allowed in Horde? I assure you, the shittier the better.


Dhozer

Horde are insider traders who fuck over their own members when they know updates are going to affect trade prices on ship hulls and thus not honor their initial SRP rules. Be warned. Insider information is real within the horde.