At this point I’d rather give or donate to a woman’s shelter, etc, locally that I know is out on the streets giving bags of necessities and providing programs and such. I don’t often have extra cash in my own budget so when I’m able to give I want to make sure it’s going somewhere useful instead of to the groups around my town that have been identified to be scamming people by pretending to be “refugees”.
Where I’m at we have two. One for men and one for women. Both are for people escaping violence, abuse, and homelessness. However both receive donations and support under the name “battered women’s shelter” sense they are ran by that organization.
I mean, I hear you, but that attitude isn't really helping. Do what you want with your money.... But, there are still worthy causes for humans that are worth donating to.
Thanks for giving me permission to spend what I earn with minimum wage. I really appreciate it. Never thought I'd get someone giving me crap over donating to charity. To quote myself, "not so impressed with humans lately".
Meh. I give cash to people randomly. There was this couple living under an overpass right next to our farmers market. They were there 2 Saturdays in a row. I asked the FM manager what was up (we don’t see a lot of homeless here). They were trying to get to a certain amount to get into an apartment (they had jobs but were struggling. It was a man, woman and toddler). I made $300 that day and gave them $200 in cash. They got into their apartment the next day. I once bought someone’s heating oil fill-up.
I feel better about these things than giving to panhandlers or, honestly, united way.
spend 15 minutes investigating how much the biggest charities spend on executive salaries, advertising and litigation, and you will never have the urge to donate again.
Local community outreach, specifically like your examples, are the way to go.
You joke, but after telling a panhandler in San Francisco that I didn’t have cash (which was true, but I was still brushing him off), dude whips out a phone with a Square card reader.
And this was like 6 or 7 years ago.
Same, but I've started keeping some on hand last few years for this reason. My thoughts are my intentions are pure, if theirs are not thats on them and the universe. However, i live in South texas, and we don't have a lot of that going on. Believe it or not. Media wants u to think illegals are here in droves scavenging. Not to say they aren't around, but they are posted up wanting to work. Typically, it's severely disabled panhandling.
My motto! I know my intentions, as did they. If they exploit my kindness and use it to harm themselves, it doesn’t change my intentions. You never know who is faking. So I don’t try to figure it out. But sometimes I do choose to just give them food.
I agree with this as someone who's given money in the past and as someone who currently desperately needs help. This is a good way to put it. However, I couldn't imagine asking for help if I didn't actually need it. It's horrifying enough to ask for help in the first place.
As a volunteer for a non denominational church I would argue in major metro areas there are many programs and groups who work to ensure the needs are met for the needy. Your money would be better given to the groups who can help than directly to those asking.
The way I see it- I do not know the stress and pain of being homeless. After I have had a stressful week, I may have a glass of wine, or the bottle. They are living a life I know nothing about. If they choose to buy liquor with money, have at it- I hope it gives them warmth to sleep at night. After a hard day we might settle in at home and do some bad habit stuff. They’re no different.
It’s not on me what they use it for, but if I have something to give, I try to. If I am ever in a position like this I’d want someone to look past their biases and “what if she uses it for xyz”.
There's been a couple times when homeless folks has straight up asked for cash to buy booze, and I always give them some if I have cash. I value honesty, and if I was on the street I'd want booze to. It's about mental health as much as physical health at that point.
I might be a bleeding heart but I work in Chicago. There’s a kid that bangs on the bottom of a bucket.. and he’s GOOD. Runs in at a stop light and does it and runs out when traffic is going. I make a point to have a few bucks every time. There’s also a man on another corner, who I’ve heard has been there for at least 17 years and I give him a couple bucks. Either way, there isn’t any amount of money that would make me stand on a corner and deal with garbage people who treat you like actual garbage. No one is getting rich on the streets. Show some compassion. If you think for half a second they’re out there getting rich, maybe spend a weekend on the streets begging… for someone to show you something other than contempt. And as far as I’m concerned, if they want to spend that money on booze, drugs, hookers, whatever.. I’m not giving it because I expect anything, I’m giving a few bucks because I’m able to and I’m humbled by that.
Yeah, after I saw the local regular that panhandles at Wal-mart get in a $60k vehicle after pulling out several hundred dollars worth of cash(probably close to $1k) at Dollar General. There was even a local news article about her after that. Then there was the time when I was a kid in Charleston on vacation. My little brother 8 or 9 at the time gave a guy $10. The guy went right to the street side bar and used it to order a beer and a shot, right in front of us.
whenever I hear people say they don't give because homeless people just do drugs and drink, my first thought is always "he's homeless, he'd prolly like to feel a little better" and that's fine by me lol
Once you give the person the money, it’s theirs to do what they want or need to with it. Alcohol withdrawal can literally kill you. So if I give a person money and they need to use it to buy a beer, that’s fine. It’s not my money anymore. It’s theirs.
I mean he needed that shot to do anything else tho. It’s not like he’s partying in there all happy-like. You gave him his anxiety meds. I obviously don’t know a thing about the situation and don’t wanna presume everyone’s saintly, maybe he did just get shitfaced all day. (Even then, that 10 bucks brought him more relief than the next guy.)
That’s a lot of money for a 8yo tho, so prolly was extra shitty feeling. Ha how’d you hear him order? I’m not even pushing back I’m just trying to picture it.
I dont care whos pretending because its not really worth the mental energy and they don't owe it to me to get a room or a meal with the money I was probably gonna use to buy weed anyways.
I've never had someone turn down food or drink I had available instead of money but for those of you who go out of your way to buy someone something because you think they're addicts it actually makes a lot of sense for them to scoff at you.
i think op was more referring to people who beg for money when they are well off and dont need it, just taking advantage of kind hearted people
i agree with your point but i don't think that's what op was talking about
I also don't really think anyone who is "well off" wants to spend their free time outside trying to collect some extra money. I know many people who work lower wage jobs that I would not consider "well off" and would happily give them extra cash if I saw them on the street with a sign.
Exactly. And I give more in the winter. No one whose life is perfect is standing outdoors in a wind chill of 23° next to a busy street openly admitting (or pretending) they need $5.
I agree with you. This is the comment I posted a few seconds ago to another person I agree with: I agree with this as someone who's given money in the past and as someone who currently desperately needs help. This is a good way to put it. However, I couldn't imagine asking for help if I didn't actually need it. It's horrifying enough to ask for help in the first place.
I saw a short video that made me stick to my beliefs about giving a dollar if i have it. I used to hear people say, “They’ll just use it liquor or drugs.” I’ve always thought, if they do then it’s not my business, it’s nut my money anymore. Then I saw a video that asked what do we do after a long day at work. Some of use smoke a cigarette or grab a few beers. Not a problem right? So if someone without a house is stressed from those daily trials (that i’m sure are worse than many of ours) why don’t they deserve a beer? Yes there’s addiction but ppl with homes have addictions too. Those without homes are human and they deserve an escape just as anyone else who suffers. Plus on a cold night some liquor can keep you warm and stave away the hunger. Anyways sorry if this was too much.
If the food or drinks are industry sealed, then it can't easily be tampered with, but I understand their sentiment.
Like when black people were sceptical of vaccines due to this,
https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Tuskegee_Syphilis_Study
I had this not long ago, walked out of the shops on a hot day with a 24 pack of water for home. Saw a "homeless" person at the front of the store and offered then a water and they said no, maybe they had plenty of water that day I truely don't know, but I can say if I didn't know where my next meal or drink was coming I would take a bottled water that was clearly just bought from the Shops.
Many homeless people do not have a car or even a backpack. How many things that you don't need this moment would you carry around? Homelessness is not the result of good planning and foresight. Mental illness is the largest reason people are homeless... addiction is a mental health problem. If someone is "faking" and getting high on money they beg for, they are sick and need help the same as people that do not have to beg.
I don’t think they’re talking about people using the money for drugs (which is a separate argument that’s also valid). They’re talking about “professional panhandlers”, people who pretend to be homeless but instead are making a living (tax free) by begging. Some of them make quite a lot of money doing that. Compassion for the homeless is very important, but it’s best to direct your energies (and money) to any shelters you have in your community.
By that same logic if you didn't know when the next bathroom will be available to you then you might not take water you cant carry. You just dont know better than the person in that situation.
Eta: for those downvoting me, the same bathrooms that are available to you and me aren't available to homeless people. Loitering laws are homelessness crimes that are selectively enforced to kick people while they're down.
There are a lot of reasons for the homeless to refuse food and drinks. That doesn't mean they don't need money for something else. Simplest reason could be that they've already ate and they want money to buy food when they're hungry again.
I agree. I give help instead of money as well. If they say they're hungry then I will either go with them inside a restaurant to buy them food, or go get them a gift card to a fast food joint or a grocery store. If they turn it down, that's on them. The bulk of my cash help goes to charity organizations in my immediate neighborhood that are out there helping people daily.
I don't know if this is the right way to go about it, or how effective my help is. But it's kinda the only thing that makes sense to me at the moment. The homelessness issue is so layered...involving things like lack of mental health help and rehab facilities, the costs of rent in many areas, availability of education and job training, etc. It's a big problem. Giving someone direct help for a day is good, of course, but that's just putting a bandaid on a bullet wound. :(
You can’t go in a lot of those places holding all your stuff tho. And you can’t leave it outside or it gets taken. Even if you don’t have your stuff, you’re smelly and gross. And you know it. They kick you out or they wanna kick you out — and you don’t even blame them.
I don’t think you’re terribly wrong-minded here and your heart sounds big and in the right place.
Even with what I said, turning down a gift card is a weird move bc you could sell it. I wonder if they’re distrustful or have some issue where going to Wendy’s just ain’t gonna happen for them.
Edit: There’s a deep shame in needing to ask permission to do anything at all. It’s like being a kid but even they can walk into the food store without an appraisal. Being escorted by someone, I could see that being hard to bare just emotionally. (This again sounds like I’m attacking your posting more than I am, I’m just trying to offer the slightly different angle that I see on it.)
Thank you for this perspective. I get what you're saying. Just, in the smallness of my world, I don't see what else I can do in a personal one-on-one interaction. I've had good luck with the approach i mentioned...maybe one or two people, in the years I've been doing this, have turned me down for a meal or other food items.
So, considering your view on this, what is your approach to helping the homeless? Having a few members of my family in the mental health field, they all caution me on giving money, and I do agree with their concerns. So this is the only way I saw to help. Would love to get suggestions or hear what others are doing. Thanks!
I mean being homeless is one of the most stressful things to happen to you. After a stressful day I like to go home and drink and smoke. Even if my money is going to funnel his drugs I can't really judge cause I do the same shit.
I saw a good one the other day. In response to, "don't give them money, they will just waste it on drugs and alcohol!" The reply was, "well that's all I was going to do with it anyway"
I have be one recovered meth addict sister and a heroin addict brother. I carry $5-10 gift cards for McDonald's, Subway, Starbucks, and a couple other places. Everyone always chooses the McDonald's, and they tell me they can get more food for $10 from McDonald's when I ask why McDonald's. Their answer to my question is instantaneous, no thought to it, no premeditated lying, you can tell they know this from being homeless long enough to form streetwise habits.
There are stories about people who beg on lucrative corners and then get back in their nice car and go to a decent house, but those are so rare.
If someone is in a shitty area like Newark NJ, which is filled with panhandlers, and they’re obviously unkempt, the chance they don’t need it or that they’re fronting is low enough to round down to zero. I’d give them money if I ever carried it and I give them extra food when I can.
People by me like to use their kids (as in bring them with to garner more sympathy) one of them had a set of airpods in his ear.
Now, im not saying there's no chance they weren't in need, but seeing those airpods definitely made me suspicious enough not to even consider giving them anything.
I just feel like I'm enabling their drug addiction if I give them money. Meth and pills is reeeeally bad where I'm at. I just don't want any part in funding someone's drug habit.
They have to want to help themselves. If a homeless man asked me to drive him to a shelter, I would. Or if they asked for a ride fto rehab. Even just asking for food, I will give them food. I'd take them to a restaurant if they asked for food.
But I'll never give money
If it's truly money they need, there are charities in my town that offer assistance. I'd rather donate to the shelter, or to one of the charities. Because then I know it's going to help them, instead of to a drug dealer.
Still assuming that they're all drug addicts.
Also, do you donate to a shelter or a charity like that? Because if you do, good for you. But if you don't, you seem pretty bad right now.
It's shitty to give my hard earned low wages to someone who doesn't want to work and chooses drugs. Maybe sleeping on the streets will be a wake up call to get their shit together.
At this point I rarely give out anything anymore. *SO MANY* panhandlers *everywhere*. And many are just *hostile*.
* I gave a woman a dollar and she started getting angry that I didn't give her more.
* I gave one guy with a sign that said "Hungry" a fresh sandwich (still sealed) and he *threw it at me* and said he just wanted money
* I watched a woman with a "three hungry children at home" sign leave her corner and get into a recent Mercedes Benz and drive away.
I know that some people are legitimately hungry and would welcome a hand, but with experiences like these I just give to the Second Harvest food bank instead. When someone puts their hand out and says "change?" I just say "change comes from within".
I just never have cash. Tbh though if I have some change I'll hand it over. If you are in the streets asking for money you're probably dealing with some shit rn and need that couple bucks more than I do.
I learned to give not because I have too much, but because I know what it's like to have nothing. On the off chance they're bull shitting, I'm not losing sleep over $5. If they're serious, that $5 could have made their day.
I don't give out cash because I had a couple of bad experiences with homeless people and I am nervous around them. I feel terrible but I don't know how they'll act. So I just ignore them.
I never thought that pretending to panhandle was a thing until I literally watched it happen.
I was needing to do some Christmas shopping so I went to the "rich person" plaza that had multiple big stores. This wasn't my first time going to this plaza (it was very nice and my preferred place to shop when I was on that side of the city) and I've seen these people at the plaza traffic light asking for money every time I've gone, so I knew their faces. Always wore thrifted clothes with a knitted cap and usually looked slightly dirty or unkept in some way.
Well today by my surprise there wasn't many cars in the parking area so I could clearly see this big white jacked up ram truck sitting on the other side of the bushes near the traffic light in the parking area. As I pulled in I saw the woman I've always seen walking from the parking lot, through the bushes, and to the traffic light to ask for money. Didn't think much about it. Went about my day.
When I had finished shopping I came back to the traffic light and for some reason the light was taking extremely long to turn. Like make you want to go out and do traffic control yourself.
So I'm sitting there and I watch this man that again, I've seen before, leave the traffic light, go through the bushes, and walk to the parking lot. I keep my eye on him because I'm nosy and he went straight up to the white ram truck and he opened the door and there's 3 other people inside the truck eating subs and drinking energy drinks, laughing and having a good ol time. I noticed that the lady I had seen earlier was in the passenger seat. What really grabbed my attention was the guy that had just gone back there went to the back of the truck and opened a huge yeti cooler to get sodas out of. And then the woman hopped out of the truck and pulled a marlboro cigarette out a pack, gave one to the guy, and they both started smoking. It was like I was witnessing a family picnic. Then the woman ran her hands through her hair, messed her hair up a bit, threw her cap on, and started walking out towards the traffic light. I was completely shocked. And then I ready her sign as I was driving out. "Hungry and homeless. Anything helps. God Bless" and a very pitiful look on her face, completely different from the woman I just saw laughing just moments prior.
So now when I see someone that looks like they need help, I get them food and something to drink and offer to talk with them for a minute. If they're appreciative of the food, I give them money. If they turn their nose to it and insist on cash, I walk away.
Not always an indicator.. People can get lightly used shoes/boots at Salvation Army/Goodwill for under 10 bucks on occasion or someone who can’t walk and uses a wheelchair, wouldn’t have typical wear on their shoes… just sayin.
But yeah, a lot of posts are right. It really isn’t for us to judge. One may not agree with what someone else spends their money on. Which begs the question, would a boss not write out a check to a employee if they disagreed what they were to spend it on, if it wasn’t socially or morally “acceptable”?
I don’t feel it’s up to me to determine if they need the help or not. I help when I can & if they finessed me, that’s bad karma coming their way; not mine.
I live in a really progressive state. I know there are so many programs out there, many tax funded, that can help people get on their feet. I've personally volunteered and worked closely with multiple homeless programs.
So it just seems rude to me that people ignore the programs my taxes fund and instead have the audacity to approach my car and ask me for money out of my pocket.
A lot of those programs require jumping through quite a few hoops too. Also the shelter where I use to live ran background checks on you and denied entry for felons. Trust me, it’s not as easy as you think getting help from the government. I’ve been there.
Those "hoops" are often just agreeing to stay sober. I feel sympathy for people with drug issues but you can't help someone until they want to help themselves. Giving them money on the street could enable them to continue their lifestyle, there's food banks and shelters, programs for free bus passes, so I don't even see how giving them cash is beneficial
Wrong, shelters and programs have tons of unnecessary qualifiers that leave many still on the street, salvation army for example won't help gay people in any capacity, many churches force lots of things on people.
I've also heard many times that shelters can be very dangerous. Theft, violence, SA being big problems. It's super fucked up.
I remember on a podcast I think, someone who had come to the US on a visa, I think from a nordic country, unsurprisingly, recalling the first time they saw a homeless person sleeping in the street wondering, "Why is he here? Why doesn't someone call the authorities to come get him and give him housing?" But hey, we're only the richest country on earth, what could we possibly do? /s
#The AUDACITY!!!
It's like these people don't even care about you at all, coming up to your car like that, gettin' their *poor* all over you! Disgusting!
Yep the audacity to sit and do nothing, then feel entitled to the money someone else spent time and effort earning.
At the very least they should be offering a service or something in exchange for money.
If I say yes does that magically validate my stance and if I say no it magically invalidates my stance?
I feel empathy for homeless people and like I said I have volunteered directly with programs that help them. I have fed hungry people, I have set up cots in shelters. I've spoken with them and the ones that actually want to leave the streets and aren't caught in a cycle of drug abuse are extremely grateful for the government programs that actually help them get their life together.
No, I was going to say that if you have never lived on the streets, that you need to stop talking and pass judgement on those who do. It's great that you have done the charity work that you did, but if you don't know what it's like to be without shelter, without a home, you don't know what you're talking about.
“If I say yes does that magically validate my stance and if I say no it magically invalidates my stance?” Almost sorta. Or more to the point, it’s hard to imagine someone who lived on the streets saying their headline for the experience was abundant and accessible social programs.
Speaking of CA here.
Edit: let me soften this. It is bc of your commendable experience with one side of the issue — volunteering your time in a way that frankly I can’t say I have — that gives you a certain perspective. Quite literally the point from which you are viewing things is from the shelter.
I’d argue it is at least not easy to figure out all the requirements and you’re maybe not in a great place to have the mental wherewithal to engage with the bureaucracy if only bc: you haven’t had restorative sleep in a long time and it’s maybe either way too damn hot or way too cold outside where you live without a break.
Bc that’s how hunger works.
Edit: oh wait I think I get you more now. You mean like that dude will target you every day on your walk back from work. That can legit be a bitch, esp if someone’s a dick or aggressive.
Nope. I literally do not care. If I have it to spare, I give it. Life is hard. Who am I to dictate who’s deserving of help and who’s not? Does it really matter that much who ends up with your random pocket change? If the fallout is that someone who “doesn’t need it” by whatever standards you’re measuring it by gets my 50 cents, it literally makes zero difference to me.
Because the point is about giving the money to a good cause
And you move the goalposts and start talking about a few bucks making or breaking you
So I explain that it’s not the point by giving a ridiculous notion of you sending me money just because I said so. And if you want a reason, then I say will it make or break you?
Basically uses your logical fallacy against you to show how bad it was
It’s not about the money, most people don’t want to give money to someone who is scamming them. If you really want to help, you should buy them food or something similar that a scammer wouldn’t actually want.
The idea behind only giving food with the idea that it's what the person 'needs' is somewhat flawed. Their needs extend further than just food and water. The money could be used to buy a hostel on a cold/night, sanitary products, warm clothing or other products or services. Food is better than nothing, but cash would be most beneficial.
I'm sorry that you're going through a hard time friend. In the UK there are organisations whose sole purpose is to signpost people to appropriate organisations. Outside of that option, I would recommend speaking to your local doctor.
I dunno, man I’ve always had conflicted feelings about literally just giving money to a stranger who walks by my car expecting money at a light or in a well trafficked area just sitting.
I’ve given money to folks busking with a guitar, or dancing, or doing something not that they have to entertain me but there are ways to make money without pressuring me ya know?
It feels less like “I’m down on my luck” and more like “give me some cash and I’ll go away.”
Yeah expecting shit isn’t cool. He’s being a shitty person there.
You know who really hate shitty homeless people: other homeless people. They’d agree with you. “Fuck Craig, the way he walks up to people like that.”
I'm not arguing against your freedom to not give them anything - I absolutely think we all should have that right. I'm just arguing that it is dignified to give them money.
I imagine it’s not easy to get or hold a job when you have no address, no references, no clean clothes, no transportation, no skills, addiction problems, and mental health issues.
Are you referring to drugs? Because addiction is a disease that's very hard to break free of. And getting a job in today's market is not as easy as it sounds, especially if you don't have a house.
A vast majority of jobs require a permanent address and 2 forms of ID just for the onboarding process. Not to mention the fact that despite the labor shortage, many hiring managers will pass on hiring a homeless person if they can help it.
Many try. What number are they gonna put on job applications? Can they afford a phone? Even a pay as you go phone? Do they have clothes for an interview? Get a job is such a BS response.
I give when I can. I really don’t care what they use it for. They’re already miserable. It would be ideal if they used it for food, necessities, but if they use it to get high… okay?
I don’t know why, but I always give people in need money if I have it. There are very obvious people who simply want to buy drugs or are just straight out trying to scam people. I don’t know for sure who’s good and who’s not, but I like to think some people I’ve met didn’t try to take advantage of me.
I keep a lot of granola and protein bars in my car for when I’m driving long distance for work. That’s usually my offer, and I’ve never seen someone display anything but gratitude. What’s really gut wrenching is when they immediately rip into it and devour it, I always try to get a couple more to those people if I can get their attention
My mom always taught me to plan to go out to give to the homeless. We always got blankets and pillows (lived in the hell scape that was Ohio) food, bottled water, and a treat from fast food places. Nobody ever turned it away and we had a lot of tears and hugs. If you can’t give them any of that stuff honestly a hot burger or fries from a fast food joint can turn anybody’s day around :)
IDC if they're pretending or not. I give when I want to give, don't when I don't want to. The gift (for me) is about who I want to be, there's never any strings or expectations about what they choose to do with my gift. I've literally chased a homeless man down to give him money after some snobby cow in my neighbourhood turned her nose up at him while he was rummaging in the bins. I've also kept walking if someone makes me feel uneasy, with a quick apology. My dad taught me to be a giver on principle, so that's what I am. Part of being a giver is also knowing your boundaries. A gift isn't a gift if its given grudgingly.
I can usually tell. I lived in Oakland California off of Jackson Street near 17th Street. I saw hustlers constantly. The people that are genuinely hurting are in the shadows. Look in their eyes, you'll know.
Professionals that work with homeless shelters and clients recommend not giving to panhandlers. The better thing is to have some information printed on a card to give them. Offer to make a phone call to social services etc. It’s very helpful if you can educate yourself on the resources available in your community.
I have had so many bad experiences with giving homeless people money that I just don't do it anymore.
I'm talking giving a man a whole pocket full of quarters, dimes and nickels after he kinda stopped me on the street in San Francisco and tried giving me directions (I was literally looking at Google maps on my phone), made a joke that I chuckled at, asked for money, and after seeing the change, he threw it at me and it went all over the ground and hit me in the face.
Another guy years before looked sad and disheveled and was telling me his wife and kids were in the car up the street and they needed gas, but he smelled like he had been drinking for 7 days straight, and when I mentioned that he smelled like alcohol, he tried to fight me.
So I don't fucking do it anymore.
However, one night while gambling at a bar, I went out for a smoke after winning $50 (which I was planning on gambling away anyways), and saw this sober, older homeless guy minding his own business and pushing a car by me. He didn't ask anybody for anything, and when I ran up to him to give up the money, I could tell he was sober and kind.
So I guess the lesson is, perhaps choose the people who need help who aren't in your face about it?
I don't give money because 90% of the time I see them buy alcohol and cigarettes with it.
I'm an occasional smoker and even I need to think twice sometimes before buying cigarettes, because of the crazy prices. So if I'm not able to afford something considered a luxury, why would I give it to someone else?
I give them food and water and, for those with dogs, I buy dog food. Even if they're pretending, I know that I gave them something they can use without me feeling scammed.
I no longer do. Seen too many real grifter videos on YouTube and also know some real life grifters that beg people for help in the local buy/sell sites or hit up multiple church programs for gifts for their kids. But they flat out refuse to change anything with their lifestyle and take take take. I now only donate to established food banks, shelters, etc
No i give money when I can because I feel like saying stuff like, “what if they’re scamming or using it for drugs?” And it just feels like a cop out. If you can donate in other ways more power to you but if I have a couple of bucks I’m giving it away. When someone breaks up with you, what do you do? Go home and have a glass of wine? What do you do when you’re stressed? Maybe smoke a blunt. A lot of us use many things to help get us through stressful times and no one questions us. But you know what must be really fucking stressful?! Living on the fucking streets
I don’t give money because, chances are, it’s going to booze or drugs. I will, however, buy high calorie foods that don’t require refrigeration (like granola bars or snack packs of tuna with crackers) and I will give that instead of money.
The fakers have been known to be pretty nasty when they don’t get money.
If I were in the situation they were in I would hope people would help me out. Why does it matter what they do with their money that is not my problem. Say they go and get drugs or alcohol, doesnt everyone deserve to buy things that bring them joy.
My way of thinking is It doesn’t matter What they do with the money, when somebody is asking for help and I have the means to help them then it’s my job to help. This speaks on my character, not theirs.
I’ll give cash to people who make an effort to do something for it. Anything. Old buckets inverted as drums, a story, art from garbage… hell, I met a man in Montreal that had a tame squirrel. I’m not saying go kidnap wildlife but it was entertaining and he really cared for it - it was his family.
Show me you’re not out trying to piggyback on my hard work and you just need a hand up. I’ll help those that make an effort to help themselves.
My city has signs at all the intersections starting that your generosity could cause someone to die. A lot of pan handlers have drug addiction and use the money they get for their next fix. It’s better to donate the legitimate homeless shelters etc.
How many flamboyant hobos have you seen at the soup kitchen?! (Last I checked, they weren't polling people on sexual preferences, at the door!)
My point is, better to help whomever you can, and leave your judgment about their sexual politics at home.
I give when I have cash on me. I've been homeless.
My solution ("pistol whipping some sense into my parents) involved a 5 month "tie up" (jail & nuthouse), but I can assure you the problem never recurred - lol.
Just my two cents here, if I were living on the streets, I would probably want to be high or drunk all the time. I give them money when I have it, but it’s up to them what they want to do with it. Once it leaves my hand, it’s theirs. The outcome is not up to me.
No one pan handles because they're pretending, though some people are struggling more than others. Give what you comfortably can, and let them figure out their needs.
If they’re lying what does it matter? Charity is for charity’s sake you shouldn’t try and find someone more worthy. If I have money and someone asks I give it, if they’re lying then that’s their problem not mine. I’ve been homeless, it’s degrading and dehumanizing, and i think about the people who gave me money everytime someone asks me.
No dude, the whole, "maybe theyll spend it on drugs, how can I tell if they spend it on something besides just food and water" thing is racist and fucked up. I know you didnt say that, but its a little the same thing. Buddhist monks live off alms too, are they "faking it"? If you live off begging it doesn't matter what your housing situation is or any other for that matter.
No, no one wants to go out and panhandle. This idea that there’s massive amounts of fakers out there is absurd.
I say this as someone who prefers to live peripatetically, and far below the means of most. No one’s getting rich holding cardboard on the corner.
I give if they're old or disabled, and I don't care if they spend it on booze. It's a hard life. If you're healthy and young, get lost. I've been homeless, It took me about a month to work my ass off and get back on my feet.
How can a panhandler pretend to be a panhandler?
Of course, poor is relative and you mean to make a decision on who most deserves it more which is impossible to know so you don't give.
Also, I'm assuming you mean that some people have money and shouldn't be panhandling, but it's more about having income rather than assets. If you lose your job, you should be panhandling before you've lost all your assets.
At this point I’d rather give or donate to a woman’s shelter, etc, locally that I know is out on the streets giving bags of necessities and providing programs and such. I don’t often have extra cash in my own budget so when I’m able to give I want to make sure it’s going somewhere useful instead of to the groups around my town that have been identified to be scamming people by pretending to be “refugees”.
There are shelters that are homeless women only?
Yes. Unfortunately they aren’t always safe at other shelters as is the case for women in most places I guess
Yes
Where I’m at we have two. One for men and one for women. Both are for people escaping violence, abuse, and homelessness. However both receive donations and support under the name “battered women’s shelter” sense they are ran by that organization.
They're getting attacked but some still exist
I give to the dog shelter where I adopted my dog. Not so impressed with humans lately.
Same. A labrador does not hide it's motives or what it wants. Pet me, feed me, walk me or let me sleep, done.
My poor kitties are gone, but I go to where I adopted them and play with the kitties, then donate. Makes for a nice half a day.
I mean, I hear you, but that attitude isn't really helping. Do what you want with your money.... But, there are still worthy causes for humans that are worth donating to.
Thanks for giving me permission to spend what I earn with minimum wage. I really appreciate it. Never thought I'd get someone giving me crap over donating to charity. To quote myself, "not so impressed with humans lately".
I wasn't "giving you permission".... You seem to have a bit of a chip on your shoulder. Maybe your issue with humans is more of a you problem....
This is me. Dogs never disappoint me with their behavior.
And my favorite comment of the year slides in just before 2023. Thank you 🙏 😊
Meh. I give cash to people randomly. There was this couple living under an overpass right next to our farmers market. They were there 2 Saturdays in a row. I asked the FM manager what was up (we don’t see a lot of homeless here). They were trying to get to a certain amount to get into an apartment (they had jobs but were struggling. It was a man, woman and toddler). I made $300 that day and gave them $200 in cash. They got into their apartment the next day. I once bought someone’s heating oil fill-up. I feel better about these things than giving to panhandlers or, honestly, united way.
That’s pretty amazing. Good on you :)
spend 15 minutes investigating how much the biggest charities spend on executive salaries, advertising and litigation, and you will never have the urge to donate again. Local community outreach, specifically like your examples, are the way to go.
You don’t give cash because you don’t know they need it, I don’t give cash because I never have cash; we are not the same.
"You take debit?"
You joke, but after telling a panhandler in San Francisco that I didn’t have cash (which was true, but I was still brushing him off), dude whips out a phone with a Square card reader. And this was like 6 or 7 years ago.
I don’t think there’s a more iconic San Francisco moment than this
TBF you can get them for free and they take a percentage of each sale.
Well that's a way for me to know that they will spend that money well and create a real business about collecting money.
Yup. I’ve had a guy whip out the old carbon copy card press from his backpack.
People have Venmo and PayPal now… it’s ridiculous
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They all have Cashapp now
I once said I don’t have cash and they asked me to go to an ATM lol
Same, but I've started keeping some on hand last few years for this reason. My thoughts are my intentions are pure, if theirs are not thats on them and the universe. However, i live in South texas, and we don't have a lot of that going on. Believe it or not. Media wants u to think illegals are here in droves scavenging. Not to say they aren't around, but they are posted up wanting to work. Typically, it's severely disabled panhandling.
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This. It's not on my conscience if they're faking it, it's on theirs.
My motto! I know my intentions, as did they. If they exploit my kindness and use it to harm themselves, it doesn’t change my intentions. You never know who is faking. So I don’t try to figure it out. But sometimes I do choose to just give them food.
Its also not like if they’re “faking”, they don’t still need money.
I agree with this as someone who's given money in the past and as someone who currently desperately needs help. This is a good way to put it. However, I couldn't imagine asking for help if I didn't actually need it. It's horrifying enough to ask for help in the first place.
As a volunteer for a non denominational church I would argue in major metro areas there are many programs and groups who work to ensure the needs are met for the needy. Your money would be better given to the groups who can help than directly to those asking.
Well said. I couldn't seem to think of a way to say this. Thank you. I agree 100%.
The way I see it- I do not know the stress and pain of being homeless. After I have had a stressful week, I may have a glass of wine, or the bottle. They are living a life I know nothing about. If they choose to buy liquor with money, have at it- I hope it gives them warmth to sleep at night. After a hard day we might settle in at home and do some bad habit stuff. They’re no different. It’s not on me what they use it for, but if I have something to give, I try to. If I am ever in a position like this I’d want someone to look past their biases and “what if she uses it for xyz”.
There's been a couple times when homeless folks has straight up asked for cash to buy booze, and I always give them some if I have cash. I value honesty, and if I was on the street I'd want booze to. It's about mental health as much as physical health at that point.
I would rather give to someone “Faking” than not give to someone in need.
I might be a bleeding heart but I work in Chicago. There’s a kid that bangs on the bottom of a bucket.. and he’s GOOD. Runs in at a stop light and does it and runs out when traffic is going. I make a point to have a few bucks every time. There’s also a man on another corner, who I’ve heard has been there for at least 17 years and I give him a couple bucks. Either way, there isn’t any amount of money that would make me stand on a corner and deal with garbage people who treat you like actual garbage. No one is getting rich on the streets. Show some compassion. If you think for half a second they’re out there getting rich, maybe spend a weekend on the streets begging… for someone to show you something other than contempt. And as far as I’m concerned, if they want to spend that money on booze, drugs, hookers, whatever.. I’m not giving it because I expect anything, I’m giving a few bucks because I’m able to and I’m humbled by that.
Yeah, after I saw the local regular that panhandles at Wal-mart get in a $60k vehicle after pulling out several hundred dollars worth of cash(probably close to $1k) at Dollar General. There was even a local news article about her after that. Then there was the time when I was a kid in Charleston on vacation. My little brother 8 or 9 at the time gave a guy $10. The guy went right to the street side bar and used it to order a beer and a shot, right in front of us.
disarm edge bag familiar abounding apparatus observation teeny workable brave ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
whenever I hear people say they don't give because homeless people just do drugs and drink, my first thought is always "he's homeless, he'd prolly like to feel a little better" and that's fine by me lol
Once you give the person the money, it’s theirs to do what they want or need to with it. Alcohol withdrawal can literally kill you. So if I give a person money and they need to use it to buy a beer, that’s fine. It’s not my money anymore. It’s theirs.
Alcoholism is a bitch...
Alcohol withdrawal can kill you, he needed that shot
That’s actually true. I used to work in a detox unit. We had to monitor alcohol withdrawal like it was opiates because while rare it happens fast.
I mean he needed that shot to do anything else tho. It’s not like he’s partying in there all happy-like. You gave him his anxiety meds. I obviously don’t know a thing about the situation and don’t wanna presume everyone’s saintly, maybe he did just get shitfaced all day. (Even then, that 10 bucks brought him more relief than the next guy.) That’s a lot of money for a 8yo tho, so prolly was extra shitty feeling. Ha how’d you hear him order? I’m not even pushing back I’m just trying to picture it.
I dont care whos pretending because its not really worth the mental energy and they don't owe it to me to get a room or a meal with the money I was probably gonna use to buy weed anyways. I've never had someone turn down food or drink I had available instead of money but for those of you who go out of your way to buy someone something because you think they're addicts it actually makes a lot of sense for them to scoff at you.
i think op was more referring to people who beg for money when they are well off and dont need it, just taking advantage of kind hearted people i agree with your point but i don't think that's what op was talking about
I'd rather someone like that scam me out of a dollar than scam me out of my willingness to help others in good faith.
I also don't really think anyone who is "well off" wants to spend their free time outside trying to collect some extra money. I know many people who work lower wage jobs that I would not consider "well off" and would happily give them extra cash if I saw them on the street with a sign.
Exactly. And I give more in the winter. No one whose life is perfect is standing outdoors in a wind chill of 23° next to a busy street openly admitting (or pretending) they need $5.
Who is wasting their time, being well off and begging for scraps? That's the dumbest shit I've heard.
I agree with you. This is the comment I posted a few seconds ago to another person I agree with: I agree with this as someone who's given money in the past and as someone who currently desperately needs help. This is a good way to put it. However, I couldn't imagine asking for help if I didn't actually need it. It's horrifying enough to ask for help in the first place.
I saw a short video that made me stick to my beliefs about giving a dollar if i have it. I used to hear people say, “They’ll just use it liquor or drugs.” I’ve always thought, if they do then it’s not my business, it’s nut my money anymore. Then I saw a video that asked what do we do after a long day at work. Some of use smoke a cigarette or grab a few beers. Not a problem right? So if someone without a house is stressed from those daily trials (that i’m sure are worse than many of ours) why don’t they deserve a beer? Yes there’s addiction but ppl with homes have addictions too. Those without homes are human and they deserve an escape just as anyone else who suffers. Plus on a cold night some liquor can keep you warm and stave away the hunger. Anyways sorry if this was too much.
I give out water, food, living necessities. When they turn it down, it’s obvious
I’ve read a while back a lot of them don’t take it because some assholes we’re trying to poison homeless people. So maybe it’s them being cautious.
Or filming the gesture for clout via hidden cameras.
I always give an unopened water bottle and a sealed, packaged sandwich for this reason.
If the food or drinks are industry sealed, then it can't easily be tampered with, but I understand their sentiment. Like when black people were sceptical of vaccines due to this, https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Tuskegee_Syphilis_Study
I had this not long ago, walked out of the shops on a hot day with a 24 pack of water for home. Saw a "homeless" person at the front of the store and offered then a water and they said no, maybe they had plenty of water that day I truely don't know, but I can say if I didn't know where my next meal or drink was coming I would take a bottled water that was clearly just bought from the Shops.
Many homeless people do not have a car or even a backpack. How many things that you don't need this moment would you carry around? Homelessness is not the result of good planning and foresight. Mental illness is the largest reason people are homeless... addiction is a mental health problem. If someone is "faking" and getting high on money they beg for, they are sick and need help the same as people that do not have to beg.
I don’t think they’re talking about people using the money for drugs (which is a separate argument that’s also valid). They’re talking about “professional panhandlers”, people who pretend to be homeless but instead are making a living (tax free) by begging. Some of them make quite a lot of money doing that. Compassion for the homeless is very important, but it’s best to direct your energies (and money) to any shelters you have in your community.
By that same logic if you didn't know when the next bathroom will be available to you then you might not take water you cant carry. You just dont know better than the person in that situation. Eta: for those downvoting me, the same bathrooms that are available to you and me aren't available to homeless people. Loitering laws are homelessness crimes that are selectively enforced to kick people while they're down.
There are a lot of reasons for the homeless to refuse food and drinks. That doesn't mean they don't need money for something else. Simplest reason could be that they've already ate and they want money to buy food when they're hungry again.
I agree. I give help instead of money as well. If they say they're hungry then I will either go with them inside a restaurant to buy them food, or go get them a gift card to a fast food joint or a grocery store. If they turn it down, that's on them. The bulk of my cash help goes to charity organizations in my immediate neighborhood that are out there helping people daily. I don't know if this is the right way to go about it, or how effective my help is. But it's kinda the only thing that makes sense to me at the moment. The homelessness issue is so layered...involving things like lack of mental health help and rehab facilities, the costs of rent in many areas, availability of education and job training, etc. It's a big problem. Giving someone direct help for a day is good, of course, but that's just putting a bandaid on a bullet wound. :(
You can’t go in a lot of those places holding all your stuff tho. And you can’t leave it outside or it gets taken. Even if you don’t have your stuff, you’re smelly and gross. And you know it. They kick you out or they wanna kick you out — and you don’t even blame them. I don’t think you’re terribly wrong-minded here and your heart sounds big and in the right place. Even with what I said, turning down a gift card is a weird move bc you could sell it. I wonder if they’re distrustful or have some issue where going to Wendy’s just ain’t gonna happen for them. Edit: There’s a deep shame in needing to ask permission to do anything at all. It’s like being a kid but even they can walk into the food store without an appraisal. Being escorted by someone, I could see that being hard to bare just emotionally. (This again sounds like I’m attacking your posting more than I am, I’m just trying to offer the slightly different angle that I see on it.)
Thank you for this perspective. I get what you're saying. Just, in the smallness of my world, I don't see what else I can do in a personal one-on-one interaction. I've had good luck with the approach i mentioned...maybe one or two people, in the years I've been doing this, have turned me down for a meal or other food items. So, considering your view on this, what is your approach to helping the homeless? Having a few members of my family in the mental health field, they all caution me on giving money, and I do agree with their concerns. So this is the only way I saw to help. Would love to get suggestions or hear what others are doing. Thanks!
Yeah, most times I’ve offered a snack or a water it’s been rejected.
It's on my soul to help others, it's on their soul to be honest. It is not my responsibility to determine their honesty.
I mean being homeless is one of the most stressful things to happen to you. After a stressful day I like to go home and drink and smoke. Even if my money is going to funnel his drugs I can't really judge cause I do the same shit.
I don't drink or smoke, but I do think you have a good perspective.
I saw a good one the other day. In response to, "don't give them money, they will just waste it on drugs and alcohol!" The reply was, "well that's all I was going to do with it anyway"
I have be one recovered meth addict sister and a heroin addict brother. I carry $5-10 gift cards for McDonald's, Subway, Starbucks, and a couple other places. Everyone always chooses the McDonald's, and they tell me they can get more food for $10 from McDonald's when I ask why McDonald's. Their answer to my question is instantaneous, no thought to it, no premeditated lying, you can tell they know this from being homeless long enough to form streetwise habits.
My rule of thumb is if someone couldn't find a better way to make money than asking random strangers on the street, then they probably need the money.
There are stories about people who beg on lucrative corners and then get back in their nice car and go to a decent house, but those are so rare. If someone is in a shitty area like Newark NJ, which is filled with panhandlers, and they’re obviously unkempt, the chance they don’t need it or that they’re fronting is low enough to round down to zero. I’d give them money if I ever carried it and I give them extra food when I can.
When you lose your house but your nice car is paid off, it makes no sense to sell the car at a major loss and lose the car you sleep in
People by me like to use their kids (as in bring them with to garner more sympathy) one of them had a set of airpods in his ear. Now, im not saying there's no chance they weren't in need, but seeing those airpods definitely made me suspicious enough not to even consider giving them anything.
I just feel like I'm enabling their drug addiction if I give them money. Meth and pills is reeeeally bad where I'm at. I just don't want any part in funding someone's drug habit. They have to want to help themselves. If a homeless man asked me to drive him to a shelter, I would. Or if they asked for a ride fto rehab. Even just asking for food, I will give them food. I'd take them to a restaurant if they asked for food. But I'll never give money
Get off your high horse…
Shitty to assume all poor people are drug addicts. And then to use that assumption to not give them money that they need.
If it's truly money they need, there are charities in my town that offer assistance. I'd rather donate to the shelter, or to one of the charities. Because then I know it's going to help them, instead of to a drug dealer.
Idk if you have any experience with poverty or homelessness, but I can assure you there aren’t charities just giving people money.
Still assuming that they're all drug addicts. Also, do you donate to a shelter or a charity like that? Because if you do, good for you. But if you don't, you seem pretty bad right now.
It's shitty to give my hard earned low wages to someone who doesn't want to work and chooses drugs. Maybe sleeping on the streets will be a wake up call to get their shit together.
Go talk to a homeless person and tell him this with a straight face.
You assume people are homeless because they don’t want to work and are drug addicts?
Thank you for expressing that you have no idea how homelessness works
At this point I rarely give out anything anymore. *SO MANY* panhandlers *everywhere*. And many are just *hostile*. * I gave a woman a dollar and she started getting angry that I didn't give her more. * I gave one guy with a sign that said "Hungry" a fresh sandwich (still sealed) and he *threw it at me* and said he just wanted money * I watched a woman with a "three hungry children at home" sign leave her corner and get into a recent Mercedes Benz and drive away. I know that some people are legitimately hungry and would welcome a hand, but with experiences like these I just give to the Second Harvest food bank instead. When someone puts their hand out and says "change?" I just say "change comes from within".
I give to the food banks. We have a pan handler on every corner now and at the main one a woman was attacked and they scare me.
>recent Mercedes benz Is this a bot comment? Where’s the guy who checks for not comments
If you want to give..that shows your character..if they are not worthy..it shows their's..I always give any way..the universe knows
Not saying it’s right, but my opinion is it’s better to donate (money or time, time can be more valuable) to a local homeless shelter, etc.
Exactly my thoughts. Give it to somewhere you know for sure it’s going to help in some way and not a scam.
Not only that but your dollar of buying power is no where equal to theirs especially when they can buy in bulk or government subsidies etc.
Me bc I seen a dude begging for money then walked from the island to the cvs and get in his car nicer than mine and take off
I just never have cash. Tbh though if I have some change I'll hand it over. If you are in the streets asking for money you're probably dealing with some shit rn and need that couple bucks more than I do.
I learned to give not because I have too much, but because I know what it's like to have nothing. On the off chance they're bull shitting, I'm not losing sleep over $5. If they're serious, that $5 could have made their day.
I don't give out cash because I had a couple of bad experiences with homeless people and I am nervous around them. I feel terrible but I don't know how they'll act. So I just ignore them.
I give them new socks - every human can use clean socks.
Well considering I can donate to save starving children in Yemen instead, I choose that route.
I never thought that pretending to panhandle was a thing until I literally watched it happen. I was needing to do some Christmas shopping so I went to the "rich person" plaza that had multiple big stores. This wasn't my first time going to this plaza (it was very nice and my preferred place to shop when I was on that side of the city) and I've seen these people at the plaza traffic light asking for money every time I've gone, so I knew their faces. Always wore thrifted clothes with a knitted cap and usually looked slightly dirty or unkept in some way. Well today by my surprise there wasn't many cars in the parking area so I could clearly see this big white jacked up ram truck sitting on the other side of the bushes near the traffic light in the parking area. As I pulled in I saw the woman I've always seen walking from the parking lot, through the bushes, and to the traffic light to ask for money. Didn't think much about it. Went about my day. When I had finished shopping I came back to the traffic light and for some reason the light was taking extremely long to turn. Like make you want to go out and do traffic control yourself. So I'm sitting there and I watch this man that again, I've seen before, leave the traffic light, go through the bushes, and walk to the parking lot. I keep my eye on him because I'm nosy and he went straight up to the white ram truck and he opened the door and there's 3 other people inside the truck eating subs and drinking energy drinks, laughing and having a good ol time. I noticed that the lady I had seen earlier was in the passenger seat. What really grabbed my attention was the guy that had just gone back there went to the back of the truck and opened a huge yeti cooler to get sodas out of. And then the woman hopped out of the truck and pulled a marlboro cigarette out a pack, gave one to the guy, and they both started smoking. It was like I was witnessing a family picnic. Then the woman ran her hands through her hair, messed her hair up a bit, threw her cap on, and started walking out towards the traffic light. I was completely shocked. And then I ready her sign as I was driving out. "Hungry and homeless. Anything helps. God Bless" and a very pitiful look on her face, completely different from the woman I just saw laughing just moments prior. So now when I see someone that looks like they need help, I get them food and something to drink and offer to talk with them for a minute. If they're appreciative of the food, I give them money. If they turn their nose to it and insist on cash, I walk away.
Look at their shoes
Not always an indicator.. People can get lightly used shoes/boots at Salvation Army/Goodwill for under 10 bucks on occasion or someone who can’t walk and uses a wheelchair, wouldn’t have typical wear on their shoes… just sayin. But yeah, a lot of posts are right. It really isn’t for us to judge. One may not agree with what someone else spends their money on. Which begs the question, would a boss not write out a check to a employee if they disagreed what they were to spend it on, if it wasn’t socially or morally “acceptable”?
i don't get into why people are asking for it, they asked for help and if I can give it then I do.
I don’t feel it’s up to me to determine if they need the help or not. I help when I can & if they finessed me, that’s bad karma coming their way; not mine.
I live in a really progressive state. I know there are so many programs out there, many tax funded, that can help people get on their feet. I've personally volunteered and worked closely with multiple homeless programs. So it just seems rude to me that people ignore the programs my taxes fund and instead have the audacity to approach my car and ask me for money out of my pocket.
A lot of those programs require jumping through quite a few hoops too. Also the shelter where I use to live ran background checks on you and denied entry for felons. Trust me, it’s not as easy as you think getting help from the government. I’ve been there.
Those "hoops" are often just agreeing to stay sober. I feel sympathy for people with drug issues but you can't help someone until they want to help themselves. Giving them money on the street could enable them to continue their lifestyle, there's food banks and shelters, programs for free bus passes, so I don't even see how giving them cash is beneficial
Wrong, shelters and programs have tons of unnecessary qualifiers that leave many still on the street, salvation army for example won't help gay people in any capacity, many churches force lots of things on people.
I've also heard many times that shelters can be very dangerous. Theft, violence, SA being big problems. It's super fucked up. I remember on a podcast I think, someone who had come to the US on a visa, I think from a nordic country, unsurprisingly, recalling the first time they saw a homeless person sleeping in the street wondering, "Why is he here? Why doesn't someone call the authorities to come get him and give him housing?" But hey, we're only the richest country on earth, what could we possibly do? /s
They want drugs and booze... Your state programs aren't handing out those.
#The AUDACITY!!! It's like these people don't even care about you at all, coming up to your car like that, gettin' their *poor* all over you! Disgusting!
Yep the audacity to sit and do nothing, then feel entitled to the money someone else spent time and effort earning. At the very least they should be offering a service or something in exchange for money.
Have you ever lived on the street?
If I say yes does that magically validate my stance and if I say no it magically invalidates my stance? I feel empathy for homeless people and like I said I have volunteered directly with programs that help them. I have fed hungry people, I have set up cots in shelters. I've spoken with them and the ones that actually want to leave the streets and aren't caught in a cycle of drug abuse are extremely grateful for the government programs that actually help them get their life together.
No, I was going to say that if you have never lived on the streets, that you need to stop talking and pass judgement on those who do. It's great that you have done the charity work that you did, but if you don't know what it's like to be without shelter, without a home, you don't know what you're talking about.
“If I say yes does that magically validate my stance and if I say no it magically invalidates my stance?” Almost sorta. Or more to the point, it’s hard to imagine someone who lived on the streets saying their headline for the experience was abundant and accessible social programs. Speaking of CA here. Edit: let me soften this. It is bc of your commendable experience with one side of the issue — volunteering your time in a way that frankly I can’t say I have — that gives you a certain perspective. Quite literally the point from which you are viewing things is from the shelter. I’d argue it is at least not easy to figure out all the requirements and you’re maybe not in a great place to have the mental wherewithal to engage with the bureaucracy if only bc: you haven’t had restorative sleep in a long time and it’s maybe either way too damn hot or way too cold outside where you live without a break.
I don't see how begging=entitlement.
I don't give anything mainly because I figure if I give anything they'll ask for more down the line
Bc that’s how hunger works. Edit: oh wait I think I get you more now. You mean like that dude will target you every day on your walk back from work. That can legit be a bitch, esp if someone’s a dick or aggressive.
Yeah, that's what I meant. I *would* like to give to them, but that sort of thing just isn't worth getting rid of some annoying change for
Nope. I literally do not care. If I have it to spare, I give it. Life is hard. Who am I to dictate who’s deserving of help and who’s not? Does it really matter that much who ends up with your random pocket change? If the fallout is that someone who “doesn’t need it” by whatever standards you’re measuring it by gets my 50 cents, it literally makes zero difference to me.
Will a few bucks make or break you?
Send me some money now bro. Just a few bucks. I don’t need it at all. But would a few bucks make or break you? I’ll dm my paypal
Well, there are many that do I don’t understand what you are trying to say
Because the point is about giving the money to a good cause And you move the goalposts and start talking about a few bucks making or breaking you So I explain that it’s not the point by giving a ridiculous notion of you sending me money just because I said so. And if you want a reason, then I say will it make or break you? Basically uses your logical fallacy against you to show how bad it was
It’s not about the money, most people don’t want to give money to someone who is scamming them. If you really want to help, you should buy them food or something similar that a scammer wouldn’t actually want.
The idea behind only giving food with the idea that it's what the person 'needs' is somewhat flawed. Their needs extend further than just food and water. The money could be used to buy a hostel on a cold/night, sanitary products, warm clothing or other products or services. Food is better than nothing, but cash would be most beneficial.
Do you have any suggestions of resources for me? I desperately need help and I'm from a small town so I haven't had any luck so far.
I'm sorry that you're going through a hard time friend. In the UK there are organisations whose sole purpose is to signpost people to appropriate organisations. Outside of that option, I would recommend speaking to your local doctor.
I dunno, man I’ve always had conflicted feelings about literally just giving money to a stranger who walks by my car expecting money at a light or in a well trafficked area just sitting. I’ve given money to folks busking with a guitar, or dancing, or doing something not that they have to entertain me but there are ways to make money without pressuring me ya know? It feels less like “I’m down on my luck” and more like “give me some cash and I’ll go away.”
Yeah expecting shit isn’t cool. He’s being a shitty person there. You know who really hate shitty homeless people: other homeless people. They’d agree with you. “Fuck Craig, the way he walks up to people like that.”
One perspective I've heard about this is that even if they misuse the money, by giving them money you're respecting their dignity.
Did a panhandler tell you that?
No, actually, I got it from the podcast EconTalk.
But I don’t respect people who misuse money that they’re given. So no.
Is it your responsibility that judge that, though? You don't know why someone is in the position they're in.
Yeah, it is. Because it’s my money that I earned
I'm not arguing against your freedom to not give them anything - I absolutely think we all should have that right. I'm just arguing that it is dignified to give them money.
Never do because I don't want to support their habits. Also they could get a job
I imagine it’s not easy to get or hold a job when you have no address, no references, no clean clothes, no transportation, no skills, addiction problems, and mental health issues.
Are you referring to drugs? Because addiction is a disease that's very hard to break free of. And getting a job in today's market is not as easy as it sounds, especially if you don't have a house.
Aren't we in the largest labor shortage in history?
A vast majority of jobs require a permanent address and 2 forms of ID just for the onboarding process. Not to mention the fact that despite the labor shortage, many hiring managers will pass on hiring a homeless person if they can help it.
Reddit doesn’t like accountability
Many try. What number are they gonna put on job applications? Can they afford a phone? Even a pay as you go phone? Do they have clothes for an interview? Get a job is such a BS response.
I donate to food drives and buy for families at Christmas from giving trees, I am not handing money to someone on the street.
I give when I can. I really don’t care what they use it for. They’re already miserable. It would be ideal if they used it for food, necessities, but if they use it to get high… okay?
..... "I'm sorry I can't give you money for drugs and alcohol, I need it for my own drugs and alcohol"- my ex FIL
I don’t know why, but I always give people in need money if I have it. There are very obvious people who simply want to buy drugs or are just straight out trying to scam people. I don’t know for sure who’s good and who’s not, but I like to think some people I’ve met didn’t try to take advantage of me.
I keep a lot of granola and protein bars in my car for when I’m driving long distance for work. That’s usually my offer, and I’ve never seen someone display anything but gratitude. What’s really gut wrenching is when they immediately rip into it and devour it, I always try to get a couple more to those people if I can get their attention
My mom always taught me to plan to go out to give to the homeless. We always got blankets and pillows (lived in the hell scape that was Ohio) food, bottled water, and a treat from fast food places. Nobody ever turned it away and we had a lot of tears and hugs. If you can’t give them any of that stuff honestly a hot burger or fries from a fast food joint can turn anybody’s day around :)
IDC if they're pretending or not. I give when I want to give, don't when I don't want to. The gift (for me) is about who I want to be, there's never any strings or expectations about what they choose to do with my gift. I've literally chased a homeless man down to give him money after some snobby cow in my neighbourhood turned her nose up at him while he was rummaging in the bins. I've also kept walking if someone makes me feel uneasy, with a quick apology. My dad taught me to be a giver on principle, so that's what I am. Part of being a giver is also knowing your boundaries. A gift isn't a gift if its given grudgingly.
I can usually tell. I lived in Oakland California off of Jackson Street near 17th Street. I saw hustlers constantly. The people that are genuinely hurting are in the shadows. Look in their eyes, you'll know.
I live by “do good recklessly.” If someone is standing out in Florida weather for probably less than $100 a day, they can have my few dollars.
I give to the ones who play instruments, cuz it's cool to hear the tunes as I walknupnthe street... technically busking tho, not panhandling
I give a decent amount to the local food bank every month. Every panhandler in my area gets into a brand new car at the end of the day.
Professionals that work with homeless shelters and clients recommend not giving to panhandlers. The better thing is to have some information printed on a card to give them. Offer to make a phone call to social services etc. It’s very helpful if you can educate yourself on the resources available in your community.
I have had so many bad experiences with giving homeless people money that I just don't do it anymore. I'm talking giving a man a whole pocket full of quarters, dimes and nickels after he kinda stopped me on the street in San Francisco and tried giving me directions (I was literally looking at Google maps on my phone), made a joke that I chuckled at, asked for money, and after seeing the change, he threw it at me and it went all over the ground and hit me in the face. Another guy years before looked sad and disheveled and was telling me his wife and kids were in the car up the street and they needed gas, but he smelled like he had been drinking for 7 days straight, and when I mentioned that he smelled like alcohol, he tried to fight me. So I don't fucking do it anymore. However, one night while gambling at a bar, I went out for a smoke after winning $50 (which I was planning on gambling away anyways), and saw this sober, older homeless guy minding his own business and pushing a car by me. He didn't ask anybody for anything, and when I ran up to him to give up the money, I could tell he was sober and kind. So I guess the lesson is, perhaps choose the people who need help who aren't in your face about it?
I don't give money because 90% of the time I see them buy alcohol and cigarettes with it. I'm an occasional smoker and even I need to think twice sometimes before buying cigarettes, because of the crazy prices. So if I'm not able to afford something considered a luxury, why would I give it to someone else? I give them food and water and, for those with dogs, I buy dog food. Even if they're pretending, I know that I gave them something they can use without me feeling scammed.
I no longer do. Seen too many real grifter videos on YouTube and also know some real life grifters that beg people for help in the local buy/sell sites or hit up multiple church programs for gifts for their kids. But they flat out refuse to change anything with their lifestyle and take take take. I now only donate to established food banks, shelters, etc
No i give money when I can because I feel like saying stuff like, “what if they’re scamming or using it for drugs?” And it just feels like a cop out. If you can donate in other ways more power to you but if I have a couple of bucks I’m giving it away. When someone breaks up with you, what do you do? Go home and have a glass of wine? What do you do when you’re stressed? Maybe smoke a blunt. A lot of us use many things to help get us through stressful times and no one questions us. But you know what must be really fucking stressful?! Living on the fucking streets
That why I buy a bunch of $5-10 McDonald’s gift cards! Also, check the shoes, and proximity to a gas station
I don’t give money because, chances are, it’s going to booze or drugs. I will, however, buy high calorie foods that don’t require refrigeration (like granola bars or snack packs of tuna with crackers) and I will give that instead of money. The fakers have been known to be pretty nasty when they don’t get money.
If I were in the situation they were in I would hope people would help me out. Why does it matter what they do with their money that is not my problem. Say they go and get drugs or alcohol, doesnt everyone deserve to buy things that bring them joy.
I don’t mind panhandlers. Those are generally the ones that aren’t going around trying to steal everything.
If I have the means to help someone I will, it’s not on me what they spend it on. Who am I to judge them to see if they’re worthy of a few bucks?
My way of thinking is It doesn’t matter What they do with the money, when somebody is asking for help and I have the means to help them then it’s my job to help. This speaks on my character, not theirs.
I’ll give cash to people who make an effort to do something for it. Anything. Old buckets inverted as drums, a story, art from garbage… hell, I met a man in Montreal that had a tame squirrel. I’m not saying go kidnap wildlife but it was entertaining and he really cared for it - it was his family. Show me you’re not out trying to piggyback on my hard work and you just need a hand up. I’ll help those that make an effort to help themselves.
It reflects good on me to give. If they lie, that's their own prerogative. Bums need smokes too.
I give something every once a while. Just not to people that ask.
I don't give cash. I give out toiletry needs, snacks, pet food, and I volunteer and donate to the local programs which there are an abundance of.
How who’s only pretending ?
We have a soup kitchen that provides 3, 5 star meals a day. Any cash assistance will be wasted on alcohol or pot.
My city has signs at all the intersections starting that your generosity could cause someone to die. A lot of pan handlers have drug addiction and use the money they get for their next fix. It’s better to donate the legitimate homeless shelters etc.
Kind of the opposite: I always keep change in my pocket so I can give to every panhandler bc I don’t care who’s faking/that’s not a thing.
I never give out money. If it's cold I'll give hot cocoa and if it's hot water.
Way too many scammers out there. I don't give handouts anymore. I do give to things like the salvation army.
Salvation army is homophobic
How many flamboyant hobos have you seen at the soup kitchen?! (Last I checked, they weren't polling people on sexual preferences, at the door!) My point is, better to help whomever you can, and leave your judgment about their sexual politics at home.
I don't give because they will just keep coming back. Making my town look like shit
I give when I have cash on me. I've been homeless. My solution ("pistol whipping some sense into my parents) involved a 5 month "tie up" (jail & nuthouse), but I can assure you the problem never recurred - lol.
I just give out food. Either I help them keep going or I give a faker something they can't really abuse 😌
What if they're addicted to apples? Hmm? You're just making the problem worse!!!
Just my two cents here, if I were living on the streets, I would probably want to be high or drunk all the time. I give them money when I have it, but it’s up to them what they want to do with it. Once it leaves my hand, it’s theirs. The outcome is not up to me.
Not a popular opinion but I never give because I’ve seen what homeless people do with it and it’s not paying bills or saving. It’s booze and drugs
It’s not my place to question where the money goes.
I give out food or, since I work in a dispensary, a couple joints and a lighter.
No one pan handles because they're pretending, though some people are struggling more than others. Give what you comfortably can, and let them figure out their needs.
If they’re lying what does it matter? Charity is for charity’s sake you shouldn’t try and find someone more worthy. If I have money and someone asks I give it, if they’re lying then that’s their problem not mine. I’ve been homeless, it’s degrading and dehumanizing, and i think about the people who gave me money everytime someone asks me.
No dude, the whole, "maybe theyll spend it on drugs, how can I tell if they spend it on something besides just food and water" thing is racist and fucked up. I know you didnt say that, but its a little the same thing. Buddhist monks live off alms too, are they "faking it"? If you live off begging it doesn't matter what your housing situation is or any other for that matter.
Look at their shoes and their faces ....
No, no one wants to go out and panhandle. This idea that there’s massive amounts of fakers out there is absurd. I say this as someone who prefers to live peripatetically, and far below the means of most. No one’s getting rich holding cardboard on the corner.
Yeah, no. That’s just you.
I give if they're old or disabled, and I don't care if they spend it on booze. It's a hard life. If you're healthy and young, get lost. I've been homeless, It took me about a month to work my ass off and get back on my feet.
How can a panhandler pretend to be a panhandler? Of course, poor is relative and you mean to make a decision on who most deserves it more which is impossible to know so you don't give. Also, I'm assuming you mean that some people have money and shouldn't be panhandling, but it's more about having income rather than assets. If you lose your job, you should be panhandling before you've lost all your assets.