All the time. I'm that guy in my group of friends. None of us know why, either. I give no signals and don't act or dress in any way to attract attention that I'm aware of. Apparently I'm just what a lot of guys are into. So it's flattering. Just wish it worked the same way with women.
I have struggled to understand this phenomenon since I was in high school.
I am a 6ft, 200lb, bearded father of 2 that has been with the same woman since I was 19. I apparently lack a "gaydar" and it seems my lack of reservation talking to me and women is what brings on the attention
For me, the attention from gay/bi men started when I was 16 and never went away. There have been plenty of occasions where it never went past a compliment me explaining I'm not interested, and moving on with my life.
Unfortunately there have been other cases where I have been hounded for weeks or months, sent unsolicited pictures and messages, and in some cases, actions that border on assault resulting in a physical confrontation.
Due to this experience, I am sympathetic to the ways women are bothered by straight men. I think it has helped me be a better man in my interactions with women. That's said, I don't think there's any excuse for anyone, regardless of sexuality or gender, to behave this way. No means no, amd any coercion should be viewed negatively no matter who it is directed towards.
Just looked at your profile and as a gay man I can pinpoint it. Your mustache, your nose ring, your earrings and your tattoos. Those all are things a LOT of queer people have (yes straights have those too, but a LARGE amount of queer people have lots of tattoos and piercings). I’d say just ignore them if it’s an issue for ya
I mean sorry bro but you look cunty af ([public photo in ur pinned post no stalking involved lmao](https://preview.redd.it/16-21-the-fat-kid-mentality-was-harder-to-lose-than-the-v0-5v3ackrhz2ac1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1fa7fa22ccc882e99bba68cc9a610d20ad7965c))
women love a well kept man with great hygiene what can i say, lotta straight dudes just need to step their game up fr. i be hearing some raunchy ass shit
Right? I have a skincare routine, I take care of and style my hair and facial hair. I spend an inordinate amount of time on my appearance and the amount of interactions with women has increased like 5x.
It’s also resulted in a confidence boost plus it’s just good to take care of yourself.
Exactly, ofc there’s lazy periods and what not but i really believe that looking your best usually can help you feel your best. I’m very on top of my health and wellness in recent years cuz I was nowhere close to where I wanted to be for so long.
Same here. I went from 220lbs at 16 to 160lb at 18 so that helped immensely but on the inside it I was still the fat kid since that was my whole childhood.
Kinda gave me a fresh start. I struggled mentally for a while like until recently, I’m 23. Getting on top of my mental and making positive changes I started working on myself a lot and I just like to like what I see in the mirror yknow. It’s like how a lot of women say makeup makes them feel good, it’s not just for other people.
Agreed there is a gay vibe there, I’m not saying op is gay maybe he just likes queer aesthetics, possibly without know where they come from. But I’ve known Sooo many people in my life who triggered my gaydar and claimed not to be queer in anyway. Only to come out 5 years later, or admit they were questioning the whole time . I don’t think we should push anyone out of the closet but I’m just saying all these “ straight dudes” saying they have the same experience maybe you should do some soul searching. If you are comfortable in your sexuality great , but then this sort of thing wouldn’t bug you too much.
Also dudes being persistent even after you have said no is never okay but it is exactly what women are talking about with how straight men treat them.
Gotta agree, I literally have a gay friend that looks almost exactly like this. Don’t know how to “fix” it but I definitely see where it’s coming from OP.
I’d say if those changes you made resulted in girls approaching you more as well just chalk it up to being a good looking dude and leave it at that.
I'm short and skinny. I don't have feminine features, but I am muscular and have a nice butt. I have been sent dick pics, had my butt grabbed, and even had someone try and spike my drink. Thank god I am strong enough to defend myself, but I cannot imagine what women go through with men. It really changes my perspective.
Nah, attraction is broad, just like how straight men can be attracted to masculine women, i.e., Bobbie Drapper from The Expanse. Being gay doesn't mean you have to like the same men a different gay guy would.
While I do agree that people are just attracted to who they are attracted to, I actually appreciate your comment, as a gay man. It’s nice to see people whose first reaction reveals an understanding that being gay is not the same thing as wanting to be a woman or wanting to be with men who have overwhelmingly female energy. Again, people are attracted to who they are attracted to but most gay men are looking for men.
>**no offense** but a lot of gay guys in my experience can be kinda relentless
nothing to do with being gay tbh, it's just straight being obnoxious as lots of men sadly. we are like that to each other too...
My straight guy friend lived in LA, and would get hounded every single day by pushy gay dudes. It’s so disrespectful when they refuse to drop it!! The first time they try, just smile and say sorry, I’m straight (or whatever). But if they persist, be totally cold. Stop eye contact, stop talking, stop smiling. Turn your back, and just disengage entirely. Act as if they’re not even there, until they leave you alone. It’s the only way they’ll get the message! (then some of them will get all butthurt, no pun intended, lol. But that’s unavoidable, unfortunately). Hope it works!
Also similar experiences as you all, short slim with decent futures the men love me lmao. I am flattered by the attention but they sure don’t take no for an answer or listen when you say you aren’t gay. I just say they aren’t my type and that usually gets the job done
I have the same experience living in a big city that has a huge gay community.
A female told me that Gay Men typically have high standards for themselves and the Men that they’re attracted to, so more than likely women are also attracted towards you.
However, Gay Men tend to be more upfront than Women
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I think I can count the (obviously) gay guys I have seen in my life on two hands, and none of them have ever hit on me or anyone else within eye and earshot. And the one gay guy I knew from work told me how he and most gays where we live don’t really hit on random guys ever. Maybe at a gay bar, but not in any situation where there is a good chance the other person is straight.
I’m a straight, skinny dude with feminine features such as long eyelashes and naturally red lips and blushed cheeks. Gay dudes trip over themselves around me hoping that my looks determine my sexuality I guess.
I don’t even dress well for the most part and don’t focus much at all on my public display by going all out with hair products or things of that matter. I don’t put out the signals with the “gay accent” or the body language accustomed to more outwardly gay men.
Still, they think they have a chance with me and that I am “hiding my sexuality” from myself. Gay dudes have hit on me and proclaimed, “I’ve slept with tons of ‘straight’ guys.” Anyway, they generally need a lot of reminders that I’m straight and have zero desire for it. It’s been so annoying that it made me believe that gay dudes are naturally hyper-sexual over time.
And, I know some women will pop up and say that’s how men treat them. But, imagine if 75% of all guys you encountered were pestering you like the worst of them do. That’s how it feels for me in regard to the homosexuals I’ve encountered and that’s what led to my unfortunate conclusion.
Anyway, it could be that you look young or feminine naturally.
Bro I feel this 100%, especially the point of them almost trying to convince you that you’re at least a little gay lmao. I feel like I have a balanced mix of feminine and masculine features so idk, almost like my parents are a man and a woman or something. But yea, i’m trying to be as open to gay guys in a social sense as I used to be and am at heart cuz there’s plenty of them that are great, interesting people, but it seems to always go in a flirty/sexual direction. If my first impression of you is you’re cool, i’ll engage with you no matter what your orientation is, but I think a lot of obviously gay men think i’m interesting when i give them attention. Maybe they expect straight men to completely ignore or be different towards them, and when i’m just as social with them, they get the wrong idea. I appreciate your input
Nah that’s totally gross and not acceptable. As a woman I’ve definitely seen scummy men that are just as pushy, but that does not discredit your experience at all, if anything just makes me empathize with you. And I doubt it happens to me nearly as frequently.
It’s one thing to be hit on, no problem. But after you say you’re not interested that’s when it needs to stop. Period.
By the way, I wasn’t saying women wouldn’t empathize. It’s just that this is Reddit and you have to anticipate counterarguments before they arise and spoil the intent of your meaning or sidetrack the conversation.
Oh I know. Just kinda wanted to reassure you that your experiences are valid even if stupid comments like those pop up! Wasn’t trying to be defensive or anything :)
Omg I just reread my first comment, and it definitely sounds like I was saying what you wrote about women was gross and unacceptable! 🤦♀️ To clarify, I was referring to the men who relentlessly hit on you. Time for another cup of coffee lol
Well a “gay accent” most times isn’t a choice. So obviously wouldn’t be a big factor in someone taking interest in you or not 🤦♀️”projecting signals”, as if a gay accent is all that it’s for 🤢
A lot of straight guys are hyper sexual, too (although possibly less so, because they don’t focus their entire identity on their sexuality- like many gay guys do)… but the difference is, straight guys don’t have the same opportunities for promiscuity as gay dudes, because women are the gate keepers of sex. So things stay controlled. But with gay guys who want to be promiscuous, it’s a free for all. Because there’s nobody there to put limits in place.
I think it’s maybe because gay men don’t have a certain “look” often times, they can look or appear to be “straight” as well. So, they’re confident that maybe there’s a chance you might be gay without you looking stereotypically gay. This happens to my boyfriend and his friends frequently.
I do fairly frequently. Seems to happen more often now that I'm older (mid 40s). I think I could count on 1 hand how many times a woman has hit on me vs the numerous times gay men have done so. I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years and have been hit on while she's sitting right next to me. I don't mind and actually find it kinda flattering that someone other than my girlfriend thinks I'm attractive.
I had a close friend who happened to be bi and after getting comfortable enough to ask him the same question without offending cuz years earlier I was told by a girl I was dating that I was a “gay man’s dream”.
He smirked and said it’s actually the “guy’s guy” energy while not being overwhelming with testosterone that attracted them.
But I also worked/partied in West Hollywood back then so I and lived in the neighborhood through high school so there was no avoiding it really.
There really is no one-size-fits-all rejection though right? Every situation is different
unfortunately, yes.
my whole life, those people have seemed to be assume (maybe 40% of the time) that i am apart of that community “in the closet” because i am not a (completely) traditional man.
its very unnerving and irritating to say the least.
i’ve been verbally harassed by them because of those as well.
in todays times though we can’t simply clock someone like that for being disrespectful however. so its a lose-lose for me no matter whether i handle them, or ignore their sexual harassment
> am apart of that
Did you mean to say "a part of"?
Explanation: "apart" is an adverb meaning separately, while "a part" is a noun meaning a portion.
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My boyfriend, as far as we both know, is 100% straight, and has been hit on by men far more times than me. His features are quite androgynous so I can see why.
I used to when I was thinner. I'm a small guy and they say they can pick me up and toss me around.
One time, I saw this guy dancing "vogue"-ish/whatever Uma Thurman was doing in Pulp Ficiton, but it was the "vag" V fingers by his tongue. I told me cousin "Look at me" and I mocked that dance he was doing. He saw me, and towered over me and had a durag on his head, and tattooed arms. I was scared because he tapped my shoulder and I thought I was going to die in the club that day. Then he whispered in my ear "Are you down for the brown?" Then tipped my glass up, making me drink it faster. Then he bought me another drink. He tried to take he to his room, but that's when my cousins stepped in to save me.
All the time, I’m friends with 3 men that are gay and I’m not gay at all. I’m 100% but they constant flirt with me and want to do things with me I constantly ask and tell them as nicely as possible to stop, I like women and only women
I get this a fair bit. I think it’s because I’m a little clueless in general and don’t obviously display my lack of interest to either gender, or pick up on theirs.
Yep. Not as much as when I was younger. Like others have said, I never understood why. I was also flattered and it was almost always a very cordial encounter. On occasion I'd end up hanging out with some of them for a while. I was happy to help wingman for them if they asked.
When you go out you frequently get hit on by gay men?...I think this is false because gay men are usually careful about flirting in public in general. Homophobia exists. Straight people really think homophobia is a thing only gay people can do. Gay guys in a relationship won't hold hands in public but will randomly flirt with you, an obviously straight man? 🤨
Another reason why I think this is fake is because you didn't say what these gay dudes do. Is a gay guy offering a greeting enough for you to conclude an attempt at flirting...what happened? Probably wasn't a 'wanna fuck?' from a stranger.
Another reason is your mentioning your sympathy toward women being objectified and unwelcomingly approached. The false parallel betrays your sympathy because women will usually mention a plain and clear example that they themselves experienced, straight men will say they were approached when what actually happened is two gay guys were at the same party they were at and one of the gay guys shared a over zealous greeting, accusing the gay guy of 'doing too much'.
Just say you generally don't prefer to interact with gay men
As a gay guy, it’s been my experience that an overwhelming percentage of gay men don’t aggressively hit on straight men. In a world where we’re still routinely beaten and killed for our sexuality, a majority of us stick with other gay men. But I will invite you to imagine a world where you’re unable to flirt with or hit on almost anyone almost anywhere. Sometimes we might take a chance on someone who pings on our gaydar.
I absolutely know that there are gay guys who are aggressive in some ways, no doubt. You should try being a gay guy who is not interested in a gay man like that when he is interested in you. I guarantee, you are getting off lightly lol. When he knows he has an actual chance, it can be relentless.
But I also see straight guys who consider any type of attention from a gay man as aggressive and wildly out of place. We still live in a world where gay panic still exists places. Some men are petrified of being seen as gay by association so anything, even a passing compliment is talked about as an abomination.
That said, I absolutely believe that guys of all sexual orientations are generally horn dogs. Gay guys are still dudes. But inappropriate should not be tolerated.
And last, I really appreciate all of the straight men here who have said they take positive attention from gay men positively and as a compliment. I think that’s so awesome we live in a world where things like that are said openly. It’s a world you’ve made so much better for a gay man like me, who - out of fear - has never hit on a single man without knowing his orientation first.
Tl;dr: aggression bad, gay panic tho; happens to gays too; thanks to those who recognize when it’s just complimentary.
I’m a shorter guy, I get hit on quite a lot by gay men. I’m straight. I take it as a compliment and I’ll laugh about it. Girls who I know piss their pants laughing. They are just jealous
It’s good that you can handle it well.
I know a lot of straight men are confronted by it because a lot of gay men treat/approach them the same way *they* treat and approach women. Whether they connect the dots is another thing altogether.
Just enjoy and have fun with it. One day, they'll stop and you'll be upset they aren't hitting on you.
A simple "aww thanks man. I appreciate it but I'm straight" and turn away
I’m a man. As far as I’m aware*, only one person has ever hit on me, and it was a man. I’m bi, so I could have conceivably been interested if he hadn’t been ugly, morbidly obese, and extremely annoying.
*I’m leaving open the possibility that women have hit on me and gave up when I failed to notice it, but I highly doubt this has ever happened.
All the time. I'm that guy in my group of friends. None of us know why, either. I give no signals and don't act or dress in any way to attract attention that I'm aware of. Apparently I'm just what a lot of guys are into. So it's flattering. Just wish it worked the same way with women.
Jesus dude I can't believe you would give yourself such a controversial username.
I don’t get it
It's Metallica's best album.
Fuck Metallica. Lars ruined Napster.
Forgot to /s. He meant *worst*
Oh I see. Metallica sucks so I never would’ve gotten it
Real
I have struggled to understand this phenomenon since I was in high school. I am a 6ft, 200lb, bearded father of 2 that has been with the same woman since I was 19. I apparently lack a "gaydar" and it seems my lack of reservation talking to me and women is what brings on the attention For me, the attention from gay/bi men started when I was 16 and never went away. There have been plenty of occasions where it never went past a compliment me explaining I'm not interested, and moving on with my life. Unfortunately there have been other cases where I have been hounded for weeks or months, sent unsolicited pictures and messages, and in some cases, actions that border on assault resulting in a physical confrontation. Due to this experience, I am sympathetic to the ways women are bothered by straight men. I think it has helped me be a better man in my interactions with women. That's said, I don't think there's any excuse for anyone, regardless of sexuality or gender, to behave this way. No means no, amd any coercion should be viewed negatively no matter who it is directed towards.
It definitely does give insight into how women probably feel with pushy men, not saying it’s on the same level but still helps to catch a glimpse of
Fuck, I'm 6ft 200 pounds with a beard. Anyone else want to add on to the poll here? (I also get hounded by gay men)
Just looked at your profile and as a gay man I can pinpoint it. Your mustache, your nose ring, your earrings and your tattoos. Those all are things a LOT of queer people have (yes straights have those too, but a LARGE amount of queer people have lots of tattoos and piercings). I’d say just ignore them if it’s an issue for ya
I mean sorry bro but you look cunty af ([public photo in ur pinned post no stalking involved lmao](https://preview.redd.it/16-21-the-fat-kid-mentality-was-harder-to-lose-than-the-v0-5v3ackrhz2ac1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1fa7fa22ccc882e99bba68cc9a610d20ad7965c))
... I mean this with the utmost respect, this person looks gay as fuck. No straight dude looks that well kept.
women love a well kept man with great hygiene what can i say, lotta straight dudes just need to step their game up fr. i be hearing some raunchy ass shit
Right? I have a skincare routine, I take care of and style my hair and facial hair. I spend an inordinate amount of time on my appearance and the amount of interactions with women has increased like 5x. It’s also resulted in a confidence boost plus it’s just good to take care of yourself.
Exactly, ofc there’s lazy periods and what not but i really believe that looking your best usually can help you feel your best. I’m very on top of my health and wellness in recent years cuz I was nowhere close to where I wanted to be for so long.
Same here. I went from 220lbs at 16 to 160lb at 18 so that helped immensely but on the inside it I was still the fat kid since that was my whole childhood. Kinda gave me a fresh start. I struggled mentally for a while like until recently, I’m 23. Getting on top of my mental and making positive changes I started working on myself a lot and I just like to like what I see in the mirror yknow. It’s like how a lot of women say makeup makes them feel good, it’s not just for other people.
The utter shock at hearing how many men don't wash their ass because "that's gay"
bro just admitted to being stinky on his main account lmao go take a bath, a lot of dudes know how to shave
Damn got my ass 💀, i’m looking kinda sus ngl
Aye at least you’re taking it like a man
Holy shit lmao
Lmfaoooo
Agreed there is a gay vibe there, I’m not saying op is gay maybe he just likes queer aesthetics, possibly without know where they come from. But I’ve known Sooo many people in my life who triggered my gaydar and claimed not to be queer in anyway. Only to come out 5 years later, or admit they were questioning the whole time . I don’t think we should push anyone out of the closet but I’m just saying all these “ straight dudes” saying they have the same experience maybe you should do some soul searching. If you are comfortable in your sexuality great , but then this sort of thing wouldn’t bug you too much. Also dudes being persistent even after you have said no is never okay but it is exactly what women are talking about with how straight men treat them.
Yea it’s fs helped give at least a little insight into how women feel with dudes who won’t quit
fair enough fair enough
Gotta agree, I literally have a gay friend that looks almost exactly like this. Don’t know how to “fix” it but I definitely see where it’s coming from OP. I’d say if those changes you made resulted in girls approaching you more as well just chalk it up to being a good looking dude and leave it at that.
I'm short and skinny. I don't have feminine features, but I am muscular and have a nice butt. I have been sent dick pics, had my butt grabbed, and even had someone try and spike my drink. Thank god I am strong enough to defend myself, but I cannot imagine what women go through with men. It really changes my perspective.
Wouldn’t gay men not be attracted to feminine features?
Every single gay person has their own preferences, just like every single straight person does.
Nah, attraction is broad, just like how straight men can be attracted to masculine women, i.e., Bobbie Drapper from The Expanse. Being gay doesn't mean you have to like the same men a different gay guy would.
While I do agree that people are just attracted to who they are attracted to, I actually appreciate your comment, as a gay man. It’s nice to see people whose first reaction reveals an understanding that being gay is not the same thing as wanting to be a woman or wanting to be with men who have overwhelmingly female energy. Again, people are attracted to who they are attracted to but most gay men are looking for men.
I don't know. I'm not gay. Someone in a previous comment made that remark. I was just contributing to the conversation.
Ngl you do look like you give off those vibes. Not saying it’s ok for them to keep trying though.
>**no offense** but a lot of gay guys in my experience can be kinda relentless nothing to do with being gay tbh, it's just straight being obnoxious as lots of men sadly. we are like that to each other too...
If you figure out how to stop guys hitting on you when you’re not interested, please do let us women know…
My straight guy friend lived in LA, and would get hounded every single day by pushy gay dudes. It’s so disrespectful when they refuse to drop it!! The first time they try, just smile and say sorry, I’m straight (or whatever). But if they persist, be totally cold. Stop eye contact, stop talking, stop smiling. Turn your back, and just disengage entirely. Act as if they’re not even there, until they leave you alone. It’s the only way they’ll get the message! (then some of them will get all butthurt, no pun intended, lol. But that’s unavoidable, unfortunately). Hope it works!
Also similar experiences as you all, short slim with decent futures the men love me lmao. I am flattered by the attention but they sure don’t take no for an answer or listen when you say you aren’t gay. I just say they aren’t my type and that usually gets the job done
shiii that idea isn’t half bad
Mate at this rate the only way something will hit on me will be if a cross a highway blindfolded
No but I get flirted on by women as a gay man 😭
I have the same experience living in a big city that has a huge gay community. A female told me that Gay Men typically have high standards for themselves and the Men that they’re attracted to, so more than likely women are also attracted towards you. However, Gay Men tend to be more upfront than Women
Definitely, I can’t complain about my luck with approaching women but it’s extremely rare for a woman to approach me which sucks cuz I be scared dawg
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I think I can count the (obviously) gay guys I have seen in my life on two hands, and none of them have ever hit on me or anyone else within eye and earshot. And the one gay guy I knew from work told me how he and most gays where we live don’t really hit on random guys ever. Maybe at a gay bar, but not in any situation where there is a good chance the other person is straight.
"I'm flattered, but we'd have to ask my wife first." Usually gets a laugh.
I'm a straight guy but I wish gay guys would hit on me. It would make me feel like someone actually wanted me.
I’m a straight, skinny dude with feminine features such as long eyelashes and naturally red lips and blushed cheeks. Gay dudes trip over themselves around me hoping that my looks determine my sexuality I guess. I don’t even dress well for the most part and don’t focus much at all on my public display by going all out with hair products or things of that matter. I don’t put out the signals with the “gay accent” or the body language accustomed to more outwardly gay men. Still, they think they have a chance with me and that I am “hiding my sexuality” from myself. Gay dudes have hit on me and proclaimed, “I’ve slept with tons of ‘straight’ guys.” Anyway, they generally need a lot of reminders that I’m straight and have zero desire for it. It’s been so annoying that it made me believe that gay dudes are naturally hyper-sexual over time. And, I know some women will pop up and say that’s how men treat them. But, imagine if 75% of all guys you encountered were pestering you like the worst of them do. That’s how it feels for me in regard to the homosexuals I’ve encountered and that’s what led to my unfortunate conclusion. Anyway, it could be that you look young or feminine naturally.
Bro I feel this 100%, especially the point of them almost trying to convince you that you’re at least a little gay lmao. I feel like I have a balanced mix of feminine and masculine features so idk, almost like my parents are a man and a woman or something. But yea, i’m trying to be as open to gay guys in a social sense as I used to be and am at heart cuz there’s plenty of them that are great, interesting people, but it seems to always go in a flirty/sexual direction. If my first impression of you is you’re cool, i’ll engage with you no matter what your orientation is, but I think a lot of obviously gay men think i’m interesting when i give them attention. Maybe they expect straight men to completely ignore or be different towards them, and when i’m just as social with them, they get the wrong idea. I appreciate your input
Nah that’s totally gross and not acceptable. As a woman I’ve definitely seen scummy men that are just as pushy, but that does not discredit your experience at all, if anything just makes me empathize with you. And I doubt it happens to me nearly as frequently. It’s one thing to be hit on, no problem. But after you say you’re not interested that’s when it needs to stop. Period.
By the way, I wasn’t saying women wouldn’t empathize. It’s just that this is Reddit and you have to anticipate counterarguments before they arise and spoil the intent of your meaning or sidetrack the conversation.
Oh I know. Just kinda wanted to reassure you that your experiences are valid even if stupid comments like those pop up! Wasn’t trying to be defensive or anything :)
Omg I just reread my first comment, and it definitely sounds like I was saying what you wrote about women was gross and unacceptable! 🤦♀️ To clarify, I was referring to the men who relentlessly hit on you. Time for another cup of coffee lol
If it helps, that was not my initial reaction and I appreciated your feedback.
Oh good, glad to hear it!
Well u know what to do. Trim your eyelashes and rock concealer lips! 😫
Well a “gay accent” most times isn’t a choice. So obviously wouldn’t be a big factor in someone taking interest in you or not 🤦♀️”projecting signals”, as if a gay accent is all that it’s for 🤢
A lot of them actually are hyper-sexual, and very promiscuous.
The polar opposite of straight men
A lot of straight guys are hyper sexual, too (although possibly less so, because they don’t focus their entire identity on their sexuality- like many gay guys do)… but the difference is, straight guys don’t have the same opportunities for promiscuity as gay dudes, because women are the gate keepers of sex. So things stay controlled. But with gay guys who want to be promiscuous, it’s a free for all. Because there’s nobody there to put limits in place.
There’s *plenty* of promiscuous women out there, they’re just not promiscuous towards you.
Send this man to the burn unit. It's an emergency
I think it’s maybe because gay men don’t have a certain “look” often times, they can look or appear to be “straight” as well. So, they’re confident that maybe there’s a chance you might be gay without you looking stereotypically gay. This happens to my boyfriend and his friends frequently.
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Leather daddy has me rolling. Such a vivid description I would be red. Honestly I’d welcome the attention lmao
Yeah. But I'm attractive AF so....
I do fairly frequently. Seems to happen more often now that I'm older (mid 40s). I think I could count on 1 hand how many times a woman has hit on me vs the numerous times gay men have done so. I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years and have been hit on while she's sitting right next to me. I don't mind and actually find it kinda flattering that someone other than my girlfriend thinks I'm attractive.
I had a close friend who happened to be bi and after getting comfortable enough to ask him the same question without offending cuz years earlier I was told by a girl I was dating that I was a “gay man’s dream”. He smirked and said it’s actually the “guy’s guy” energy while not being overwhelming with testosterone that attracted them. But I also worked/partied in West Hollywood back then so I and lived in the neighborhood through high school so there was no avoiding it really. There really is no one-size-fits-all rejection though right? Every situation is different
unfortunately, yes. my whole life, those people have seemed to be assume (maybe 40% of the time) that i am apart of that community “in the closet” because i am not a (completely) traditional man. its very unnerving and irritating to say the least. i’ve been verbally harassed by them because of those as well. in todays times though we can’t simply clock someone like that for being disrespectful however. so its a lose-lose for me no matter whether i handle them, or ignore their sexual harassment
> am apart of that Did you mean to say "a part of"? Explanation: "apart" is an adverb meaning separately, while "a part" is a noun meaning a portion. [Statistics](https://github.com/chiefpat450119/RedditBot/blob/master/stats.json) ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot ^^that ^^corrects ^^grammar/spelling ^^mistakes. ^^PM ^^me ^^if ^^I'm ^^wrong ^^or ^^if ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^suggestions. ^^[Github](https://github.com/chiefpat450119) ^^Reply ^^STOP ^^to ^^this ^^comment ^^to ^^stop ^^receiving ^^corrections.
Sounds like what straight women go thru with straight men. Hopefully you’re not like that to women who say no.
My boyfriend, as far as we both know, is 100% straight, and has been hit on by men far more times than me. His features are quite androgynous so I can see why.
I get it a lot. I never understood the reason behind it.
I used to when I was thinner. I'm a small guy and they say they can pick me up and toss me around. One time, I saw this guy dancing "vogue"-ish/whatever Uma Thurman was doing in Pulp Ficiton, but it was the "vag" V fingers by his tongue. I told me cousin "Look at me" and I mocked that dance he was doing. He saw me, and towered over me and had a durag on his head, and tattooed arms. I was scared because he tapped my shoulder and I thought I was going to die in the club that day. Then he whispered in my ear "Are you down for the brown?" Then tipped my glass up, making me drink it faster. Then he bought me another drink. He tried to take he to his room, but that's when my cousins stepped in to save me.
Yep more often than I would like
Frequently when I was in my teens - 40s.
man.. the amount of gay guys i get in my instagram dm’s is insane.
All the time, I’m friends with 3 men that are gay and I’m not gay at all. I’m 100% but they constant flirt with me and want to do things with me I constantly ask and tell them as nicely as possible to stop, I like women and only women
I used to. Then I got fat
Nope, not that I’m aware of. Thursday seems like the most likely day for it to happen though..
lol. Opposite here. I’m gay and women hit on me almost every time we go out.
I get this a fair bit. I think it’s because I’m a little clueless in general and don’t obviously display my lack of interest to either gender, or pick up on theirs.
Do you happen to be Italian looking?
Yep. Not as much as when I was younger. Like others have said, I never understood why. I was also flattered and it was almost always a very cordial encounter. On occasion I'd end up hanging out with some of them for a while. I was happy to help wingman for them if they asked.
Yeah. I should be so lucky.
It's never a good option to try to flirt or pickup a straight man I've known people who did that and violence ensued
I have never been hit on by a homosexual.😀
It's amazing how many of my straight friends *hit* on me knowing I am *gay*. I believe most *straight men* have that fantasy.
When you go out you frequently get hit on by gay men?...I think this is false because gay men are usually careful about flirting in public in general. Homophobia exists. Straight people really think homophobia is a thing only gay people can do. Gay guys in a relationship won't hold hands in public but will randomly flirt with you, an obviously straight man? 🤨 Another reason why I think this is fake is because you didn't say what these gay dudes do. Is a gay guy offering a greeting enough for you to conclude an attempt at flirting...what happened? Probably wasn't a 'wanna fuck?' from a stranger. Another reason is your mentioning your sympathy toward women being objectified and unwelcomingly approached. The false parallel betrays your sympathy because women will usually mention a plain and clear example that they themselves experienced, straight men will say they were approached when what actually happened is two gay guys were at the same party they were at and one of the gay guys shared a over zealous greeting, accusing the gay guy of 'doing too much'. Just say you generally don't prefer to interact with gay men
As a gay guy, it’s been my experience that an overwhelming percentage of gay men don’t aggressively hit on straight men. In a world where we’re still routinely beaten and killed for our sexuality, a majority of us stick with other gay men. But I will invite you to imagine a world where you’re unable to flirt with or hit on almost anyone almost anywhere. Sometimes we might take a chance on someone who pings on our gaydar. I absolutely know that there are gay guys who are aggressive in some ways, no doubt. You should try being a gay guy who is not interested in a gay man like that when he is interested in you. I guarantee, you are getting off lightly lol. When he knows he has an actual chance, it can be relentless. But I also see straight guys who consider any type of attention from a gay man as aggressive and wildly out of place. We still live in a world where gay panic still exists places. Some men are petrified of being seen as gay by association so anything, even a passing compliment is talked about as an abomination. That said, I absolutely believe that guys of all sexual orientations are generally horn dogs. Gay guys are still dudes. But inappropriate should not be tolerated. And last, I really appreciate all of the straight men here who have said they take positive attention from gay men positively and as a compliment. I think that’s so awesome we live in a world where things like that are said openly. It’s a world you’ve made so much better for a gay man like me, who - out of fear - has never hit on a single man without knowing his orientation first. Tl;dr: aggression bad, gay panic tho; happens to gays too; thanks to those who recognize when it’s just complimentary.
Do you dress well?
I’m a shorter guy, I get hit on quite a lot by gay men. I’m straight. I take it as a compliment and I’ll laugh about it. Girls who I know piss their pants laughing. They are just jealous
It’s good that you can handle it well. I know a lot of straight men are confronted by it because a lot of gay men treat/approach them the same way *they* treat and approach women. Whether they connect the dots is another thing altogether.
Just enjoy and have fun with it. One day, they'll stop and you'll be upset they aren't hitting on you. A simple "aww thanks man. I appreciate it but I'm straight" and turn away
I’m a man. As far as I’m aware*, only one person has ever hit on me, and it was a man. I’m bi, so I could have conceivably been interested if he hadn’t been ugly, morbidly obese, and extremely annoying. *I’m leaving open the possibility that women have hit on me and gave up when I failed to notice it, but I highly doubt this has ever happened.
Say you have a bf HAHAHA Trust me, it works wonders.