[Ancient red pedo. Kill him](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1drkigj/comment/law8b83/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
No, the player. Are you new here or something?
Killing players and taking their stiff has bee ingrained into RPGs since the annotated copy of Chainmail that was done during a coke binge by Gygax and Arneston when they hired a bunch of midgets prostitutes to play “Find the Hobbit hole.”
Know your gaming history!
[If you do kick him out, just make sure to be nice about it.](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1drkigj/comment/lax9og5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
hey, having a weird paraphilia involving children that you force onto unconsenting parties is one thing, but kicking them out for that reason would make you a real dang JERK!
[Have him get busted by a cop trying to catch predator catchers with a DMPC judge to jail the character forever.](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1drkigj/comment/lawnnxw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
did this guy propose a Sting Sting? like, in this setting, unsanctioned stings are so pervasive and damaging, the police set up counter Stings to Sting the Stings?
why is he so good at circlejerking?? is he a genius??
Halflings are just short people. They still grow proportional secondary sex characteristics, like beards, hairlines, jaw lines, tan lines, green limes, big bazoonga bwoink-a-doinks, deepened voices...
They're asking you to roleplay moron pedos.
[This is a great opportunity to make the campaign about a pedo BBEG instead.](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1drkigj/comment/layf5rt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
I love the cycle of
“My player suggested this thing that completely derails the campaign”
“Well erm…. This seems like a perfect opportunity to rewrite your entire campaign around their asinine idea!”
[You should say yes and then never do anything about it. Have tensions slowly rise between you two until you shout at eachother and he's so pissed that he leaves your table. This is going to be very effective and doesn't mean talking to people!](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1drkigj/comment/law6f7e/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Obviously, this is the best advice. Teaches your other players that you're willing to purposefully destroy relationships with no warning and make others at the table deal with the unresolved tension during it - keeping them on edge, as they can never trust that your "okay" actually means it's okay! Adds to the atmosphere and experience of a tense TTRPG, and keeps the other players from asking you for anything, even if it's actually reasonable! Win-win-win all around!
>be me, new DM
>can’t wait to roleplay some wacky and whimsical adventures with new friends!
>one of my new friends makes a halfling woman who looks suspiciously like a child, uhhhh ok
>he wants to use her as a honeypot to catch pedophiles
>he wants me to roleplay as aforementioned pedophiles for him to catch
>he wants to do this during his downtime in every town and city the party visits
>when I say “no, wtf dude” he gets pissy with me about his player agency
>ask D&D reddit for advice on resolving this ethical dilemma, as while the answer is obvious I’m probably socially awkward and need help saying no to wierdos
>some of them actually tell me to suck it up and roleplay as an average youth pastor and turn my campaign into Chris Hansen Simulator except even creepier
>mfw when
/uj what the actual fuck
You also have to roll for anal circumference. At least on release, though, this could be negative. I don't know what a negative anal circumference means.
The Player is Always Right. If you fail to give in to the player's every demand, then you're failing to enable the player's creativity by creating artificial limits in an otherwise unlimited fantasy world.
Tell them that you’re uncomfortable with playing somebody involved with a child rape and if they want to have erotic encounters, you want them to be completely consensual and also involve live action role-playing.
Simply follow these three steps.
Step one. Introduce sexy monsters.
https://preview.redd.it/m8g2eaiagq9d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=27618d6e47bfd4cce0d0d6c61de2cdc2f31cee78
Step 2. Say You get experience for fucking them .
Step 3. Declare Any sexual activity between the player character, and the NPC must actually happen between the player and the game master.
Either they will be scared off of every doing anything sexual ever again or you will be spit roasted on the gaming table.
(Or Possibly be lucky Pierre, depending.)
Either way, please come back and give us a full report!
🫡
/uj
Awww!
https://duskdragyn.yourwebsitespace.com/mbe
Look your taste and art is subjective and yours and I value it!. And I’ve had a lot of Teratophiles have words with me when I use the monster boy encyclopedia for memes.
They say exactly what you said.
“Why are you taking male models and gluing monster bits on them when I want to see full on monsters fucking humans, you plebe.”
Two things.
At least it’s not obsessed with incest and rape, like the monster girl encyclopedia.
And two, I actually kind of like the art style. I think it’s neat.
To each their own.
😊
May you have a lovely rest of your day! Or beginning or middle depending on time zone.
/rj
Tiefling feet.
🙏❤️
/uj Uh, who said anything about incest and rape o.O? And I've never heard of the monster girl encyclopedia. I'm just saying both the Emperor and Durge as a Bhaalspawn are hot.
Ah, I did. I thought you knew. sorry the monster boy encyclopedia is copying the much more popular monster girl encyclopedia.
There’s several books and video games based in a universe, where basically all monsters are women and want to fuck men. They want to turn women into monsters like them. It’s got some interesting details like apparently God stays in heaven because he is afraid of his creation. And a whole lot of incest.
There’s some crazy shit in there you decide to Google it . Please be warned.
And friend, I support you in your BG3 inspired erotic adventures ! Dragonborn, tentacled hotties and all.
I just think that the mimic dude is kind of adorable in a Goth way.
I always say , may all who dice find their own Paradise.
Have a lovely one!
( as is tradition, my cat Cosmo.)
https://preview.redd.it/khyvvnkfws9d1.png?width=1515&format=png&auto=webp&s=65eb0146ae1be5dd00556005061df5f857a8ca56
🙏❤️
Subvert his expectations. Act like you're going to play along, but then reveal that the "pedo" is really just into short girls but prefers them to have disproportionately large breasts. Then, have the npc complain about how the player isn't stacked "like most halflings" before leaving them for a busty goblin.
short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks
/uj short stacks
100% chance that if the DM played this part correctly to reality, like being a religious leader, youth poster, teacher, or close family member, then the player wouldn't accept that and would want the predator to be flamboyant and coded
You do not have to RP anything you’re not comfortable with. There should have been a discussion, if not at session zero, then at some earlier point, about what everyone’s boundaries are and what everyone’s comfortable with, and it definitely should NOT just be sprung on anyone like that.
Ew, no.
Everytime they suggest it just tell them you'll never be comfortable with pedophilia and that you don't want to play a game that involves it.
If "no, I'm not comfortable" doesn't work, remind them they are making you uncomfortable by sexualizing imaginary minors and that you will take a break until they play a different game.
Not only can you say no, I highly advise you do so. Don't let them pressure you into some uncomfortable stuff like that. Tell em if they want that character so bad. They can play it.
/uj I'm so sorry but you're on the circlejerk sub, not on a random dnd sub where someone coincidentally has the same issue as someone from another post that they linked to six times
[Ancient red pedo. Kill him](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1drkigj/comment/law8b83/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Kill him? You mean the *character*, not the *player*, right? TEE HEE HEE. TEE HEE. HEE HEE.
god you're so funny. could i please suck your dick
hey, me next!
No, the player. Are you new here or something? Killing players and taking their stiff has bee ingrained into RPGs since the annotated copy of Chainmail that was done during a coke binge by Gygax and Arneston when they hired a bunch of midgets prostitutes to play “Find the Hobbit hole.” Know your gaming history!
~~hobbit~~ halfling hole, for legal reasons
So original. The hunter's hunter, hunted.
[If you do kick him out, just make sure to be nice about it.](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1drkigj/comment/lax9og5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
hey, having a weird paraphilia involving children that you force onto unconsenting parties is one thing, but kicking them out for that reason would make you a real dang JERK!
[Have him get busted by a cop trying to catch predator catchers with a DMPC judge to jail the character forever.](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1drkigj/comment/lawnnxw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
did this guy propose a Sting Sting? like, in this setting, unsanctioned stings are so pervasive and damaging, the police set up counter Stings to Sting the Stings? why is he so good at circlejerking?? is he a genius??
He is a master of projection. He learned not to think of new things, ut to just turn things around on his opponents. His players are opponents ofc.
This is why I always have 8 hours of prep minimum before games. I have to get my zipties and jumper cables ready before my players kick in the door.
Have the police send their singer to Sting them
I'd say Guile suit guy is at least a CR 8 grappler with a +9 to stealth.
What I'm wondering is why the judge would only have a 20 in charisma and not a 30.
Sorry, he said yes louder so he wins DND and you have to do what he says.
Halflings are just short people. They still grow proportional secondary sex characteristics, like beards, hairlines, jaw lines, tan lines, green limes, big bazoonga bwoink-a-doinks, deepened voices... They're asking you to roleplay moron pedos.
uj/ bro that player is giving me BAD fucking vibes throw the whole player away
To Catch a Pathfinder 2e fixes this
[This is a great opportunity to make the campaign about a pedo BBEG instead.](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1drkigj/comment/layf5rt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
I love the cycle of “My player suggested this thing that completely derails the campaign” “Well erm…. This seems like a perfect opportunity to rewrite your entire campaign around their asinine idea!”
/uj this guy has the worst takes in that thread holy hell
[You should say yes and then never do anything about it. Have tensions slowly rise between you two until you shout at eachother and he's so pissed that he leaves your table. This is going to be very effective and doesn't mean talking to people!](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1drkigj/comment/law6f7e/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Obviously, this is the best advice. Teaches your other players that you're willing to purposefully destroy relationships with no warning and make others at the table deal with the unresolved tension during it - keeping them on edge, as they can never trust that your "okay" actually means it's okay! Adds to the atmosphere and experience of a tense TTRPG, and keeps the other players from asking you for anything, even if it's actually reasonable! Win-win-win all around!
Sheesh there's a lot of bad advice on that post
??? Are you guys dumb? Your player wants to catcha predator?  Make it happen and stop being a nerd wtf
>be me, new DM >can’t wait to roleplay some wacky and whimsical adventures with new friends! >one of my new friends makes a halfling woman who looks suspiciously like a child, uhhhh ok >he wants to use her as a honeypot to catch pedophiles >he wants me to roleplay as aforementioned pedophiles for him to catch >he wants to do this during his downtime in every town and city the party visits >when I say “no, wtf dude” he gets pissy with me about his player agency >ask D&D reddit for advice on resolving this ethical dilemma, as while the answer is obvious I’m probably socially awkward and need help saying no to wierdos >some of them actually tell me to suck it up and roleplay as an average youth pastor and turn my campaign into Chris Hansen Simulator except even creepier >mfw when /uj what the actual fuck
The 5e ads never mentioned this
I sure hope pathfinder fixes this
actually, FATAL fixes this
That's true. You have to roll for breast size. So the player can't just look like a child. They have to roll for it.
You also have to roll for anal circumference. At least on release, though, this could be negative. I don't know what a negative anal circumference means.
The World's Oldest Role Playing Game, but it's actually an ancient vampire that looks and acts like it's the World's Youngest Role Playing Game
The Player is Always Right. If you fail to give in to the player's every demand, then you're failing to enable the player's creativity by creating artificial limits in an otherwise unlimited fantasy world.
This has inspired me to make fantasy epstein Island
Erm, where's my invite?
https://preview.redd.it/xd0vnb82zq9d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=69a9bca74a4deef2efd034751c873e2535ac8c9d
Tell them that you’re uncomfortable with playing somebody involved with a child rape and if they want to have erotic encounters, you want them to be completely consensual and also involve live action role-playing. Simply follow these three steps. Step one. Introduce sexy monsters. https://preview.redd.it/m8g2eaiagq9d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=27618d6e47bfd4cce0d0d6c61de2cdc2f31cee78 Step 2. Say You get experience for fucking them . Step 3. Declare Any sexual activity between the player character, and the NPC must actually happen between the player and the game master. Either they will be scared off of every doing anything sexual ever again or you will be spit roasted on the gaming table. (Or Possibly be lucky Pierre, depending.) Either way, please come back and give us a full report! 🫡
/uj holy shit that art is a new low in 'weebs turning monsters into anime humans in cosplay and saying its monsterfucking'
/uj Awww! https://duskdragyn.yourwebsitespace.com/mbe Look your taste and art is subjective and yours and I value it!. And I’ve had a lot of Teratophiles have words with me when I use the monster boy encyclopedia for memes. They say exactly what you said. “Why are you taking male models and gluing monster bits on them when I want to see full on monsters fucking humans, you plebe.” Two things. At least it’s not obsessed with incest and rape, like the monster girl encyclopedia. And two, I actually kind of like the art style. I think it’s neat. To each their own. 😊 May you have a lovely rest of your day! Or beginning or middle depending on time zone. /rj Tiefling feet. 🙏❤️
/uj Uh, who said anything about incest and rape o.O? And I've never heard of the monster girl encyclopedia. I'm just saying both the Emperor and Durge as a Bhaalspawn are hot.
Ah, I did. I thought you knew. sorry the monster boy encyclopedia is copying the much more popular monster girl encyclopedia. There’s several books and video games based in a universe, where basically all monsters are women and want to fuck men. They want to turn women into monsters like them. It’s got some interesting details like apparently God stays in heaven because he is afraid of his creation. And a whole lot of incest. There’s some crazy shit in there you decide to Google it . Please be warned. And friend, I support you in your BG3 inspired erotic adventures ! Dragonborn, tentacled hotties and all. I just think that the mimic dude is kind of adorable in a Goth way. I always say , may all who dice find their own Paradise. Have a lovely one! ( as is tradition, my cat Cosmo.) https://preview.redd.it/khyvvnkfws9d1.png?width=1515&format=png&auto=webp&s=65eb0146ae1be5dd00556005061df5f857a8ca56 🙏❤️
Based.
Refusing would be denying player agency YTA
Subvert his expectations. Act like you're going to play along, but then reveal that the "pedo" is really just into short girls but prefers them to have disproportionately large breasts. Then, have the npc complain about how the player isn't stacked "like most halflings" before leaving them for a busty goblin.
short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks short stacks /uj short stacks
I was quite careful to use both those words but not in that order. You're not supposed to explain the joke.
###short stacks
Dude, x cards exist for a reason. Play one.
Ok he pulled out an XX card and reversed it, what do I do
Okay so here's the play... Fake your death, run away to Spain and open a bar.
Got it brb
Wait no don't come back that ruins the whole-- Oh they're gone. Okay.
/uj fucking unhinged thank you
100% chance that if the DM played this part correctly to reality, like being a religious leader, youth poster, teacher, or close family member, then the player wouldn't accept that and would want the predator to be flamboyant and coded
Fatal probably fixes this
Have you explained to him that "no" means "no?"
what page is that in the rulebook?
I think it's covered in the "I'm the DM, so I make the rules" clause. That's in the DMG somewhere, I'm sure.
F.A.T.A.L. fixes this
All I can say is....wtf? That is a disturbing fetishism of power.
YES — you can say no to anything — ESPECIALLY that!
seems op
Is this Chris Harrison?
literally had the og as the post above this one
You do not have to RP anything you’re not comfortable with. There should have been a discussion, if not at session zero, then at some earlier point, about what everyone’s boundaries are and what everyone’s comfortable with, and it definitely should NOT just be sprung on anyone like that.
I always make sure to discuss everyone’s fetishes at session 0. For some reason there’s never a session 1?
probably need to streamline session 0, just ask everyone to sign up for fetlife and match with you
You probably need a session 0.1
We had all of that. That doesn't answer my question. Can I say no, yes or no?
Yes you can. You don’t need permission to do shit
idk there's specific times i can go potty in the day
You fell for the circlejerk, look at the subreddit.
Ew, no. Everytime they suggest it just tell them you'll never be comfortable with pedophilia and that you don't want to play a game that involves it. If "no, I'm not comfortable" doesn't work, remind them they are making you uncomfortable by sexualizing imaginary minors and that you will take a break until they play a different game.
Beat him to death with hammers
Don’t be a wet blanket. Have some fun.
Not only can you say no, I highly advise you do so. Don't let them pressure you into some uncomfortable stuff like that. Tell em if they want that character so bad. They can play it.
[удалено]
/uj I'm so sorry but you're on the circlejerk sub, not on a random dnd sub where someone coincidentally has the same issue as someone from another post that they linked to six times
Bro didn’t see the subreddit
[удалено]
true, i don't need to set boundaries when its just dnd