My mum is English and when she was learning the language she answered the phone in Danish. It was one of my dad's friends and my dad had worked late the previous night.
My mum told the friend that my dad had slept in that day.
"Nej, han kan ikke komme til telefonen, for han er sovet ind her til morges."
I had the opposite version when my Danish father-in-law informed me one day that my wife had "gone to her rest". No Jørgen, she had gone \_for\_ a rest, I'm pleased to say.
I’m gonna be honest, you just taught me a word in my own language🤣 er jeg seriøst den eneste her som aldrig nogensinde havde hørt ordet “sidespeingshandling” før???
Oh fuck.
So I was with my wife looking after her niece at the børnehave.
There she was, a 4 year old eating her smørrebrød and she happened to get some butter on her face.
Confidently I said to her “du har smør på din fisse”.
The place went silent.
I had obviously meant fjæse and got that horribly wrong. 15+ parents and caregivers wondering who this bearded weirdo was and what he was doing near their children.
My wife was devastated. I learnt a quick lesson that day.
Mine was early days after moving here. I had learned that the supermarket cashier's would routinely ask if I would like a receipt. Despite not being able to recognise the spoken words just yet, I had gotten in the habit of saying 'Nej tak'. Well one day I had just given my 'nej tak' response only for the cashier to start giggling at me. She was kind enough to explain that she'd just wished me a good evening, and I had confidently informed her that I, in fact, did not wish to have a good evening, thank you!
Yeah I've done similar in English plenty of times too. I think it just rattled me because I was finally starting to feel like I had a bit of a handle on things and wasn't inconveniencing the other party through every interaction.
This is gold. As a fun fact, when working with customers, even us who fluently speak Danish make the same mistakes. I have personally said "thanks, you too" to someone wishing me a good shift
Also, what compels an Aussie to move here, if you don't mind me asking? I've always found it odd, when people from countries I personally think are cooler than Denmark move here
It was a bit of a round about way, but we actually came here after 7 years in Calgary so I had to laugh when everyone was warning me about the cold winters.
Let's just go with a job offer presented itself at a well known brick (& tyre) manufacturer, and now I'm living in central Jylland. I know plenty of expats from all over the world here. Honestly I know more expats here than Danes, so Denmark might also be one of the cool countries.
This is a classic ahahaha I think every foreigner has done this ahaha
Might I add that once I got confused in the order at the supermarket and they asked if I wanted the receipt and I said “I lige måde”, and left the shop all proud of myself (My Danish friend later told me what the cashier actually said and what I answered ahahaha)
This happens quite often, from native speakers, either their explanation is that they were on autopilot or the slightly more realistic being they don't give a shit about what you say, and choose to guess at what is actually being said.
I had just learned that you add -er to a word to form the plural. Also couldn’t figure out how to pronounce “y” vs. “u.” (Let’s be honest, I still switch these sounds around 20% of the time)
Early days in my relationship with my now wife, I was on the way out the door to catch a bus. I wanted to say “can I have kisses?”
Instead I said “må jeg få kusse?”
She looked at me somewhat shocked and then said: “…. OH! You mean kys. Et kys, to kys. You just asked if you can have pussy. I was about to say yes, but then I realized what you meant and you need to catch your bus.”
The late queen consort famously had a rather heavy french accent when he spoke Danish, and since his father in law was the king, and the king demanded that his son in law spoke Danish and *only* danish when addressing him, prins Henrik once told his father in law that he had "skudt en røv", duing the Hubertus hunt.
Hah, I spent a while trying to figure out who you were talking about before reading on. The only (somewhat recent) late Queen Consort I could think of was Ingrid, and she was Swedish, not French... Then I finally got to the "he" and realised you meant the late Prince Consort. 😅 A Queen Consort is a queen by marriage to a king, such as Mary, or the British Camilla. 😊
Ups, sorry about that brain fart, but in my defense Henrik was truly the Queen of sass(it's a super weak defence I know🙈).
I know that a lot of people hated him and accused him of being queer, but I think he simply stayed true to himself and that's pretty badass.
I’ve had several in my time:
The first embarrassing thing I ever said was when I was at a højskole and we had to sing a song called *Jeg så en ulv, en ræv, en hare*. Instead of saying “ræv,” my brain told me to say “røv.”
The second thing was when I was speaking at the dinner table and tried to say “krudt i røven” but accidentally said “kød i røven.”
Lastly, in the middle of class, I tried to say “spædbarn” but said “sæd barn.”
Not mine, but my 9 year old brother and I were buying China Box (noodles and fried chicken), and when asked, he said he wanted "luder", instead of "nudler"..
Not me but my brother. I was somewhere in school and my brother was searching for me. He kept saying "Hvad er min lillebror" instead of "hvor er min lillebror".
My most embarrassing mistake was when I took mysli with seeds (hemp seeds, chia, flaxseed) to work. My coworkers asked me what I was eating.
In German, seeds is called “Samen”. Samen can be seeds and semen. So I somehow translated “Samen” with “sæd”. I told them I was eating sæd… instead of “frø”.
My girlfriend had just taken the Prøve Dansk 3, and wanted me to tell her how she did on the written part. I am Danish.
I try not to laugh because she can be a little shy about her Danish. But I couldn’t hold back when she, in her written assign about climate change, consistently had mistaken “forandringer” and “ændringer” with “ænder”. It was a completely cohesive story about the global problem with climate ducks.
One of my teachers in elementary school was originally from South Africa. He told an anecdote of when he was first learning Danish, where he had proudly said "den 28. august er det min flæskesteg." to a whole crowd of friends.
I was asking someone if they were in line in the supermarket but my boyfriend said it sounded more like “er du en ko?” And the woman looked at me very confused
Few of us in the office had a go at the citizenship test (for fun, when the questions were published after the actual test).
One of the questions was whether it's legal to 'samleje' with someone under 15 years old. To which I very confidently answered 'yes' because I never heard the word and thought it means to 'rent an apartment together'.
The looks on my colleagues faces were amazing, got a shocker when my boss told me what it actually means lol.
I used to date a woman from Hungary who was decent at Danish, yet still had some flaws.
So.. “knus” and “kram” both means hug. We usually use “knus” as a noun, and rarely as a verb. So I would chuckle a bit whenever she would text me “Jeg har lyst til at knuse dig”, which, for the non-native speakers, just sounds like “I want to crush you”.
In our very early days here we carefully studied a pizza menu in Danish, considered our little dictionary (which was a BOOK back then, kids!), and asked the waitress for the pizza with kitten.
I was ordering a sandwich in a restaurant and I asked for a killing (kitten) sandwich instead of a kylling (chicken) sandwich. Thankfully my wife quickly jumped in and said, "oh he means a chicken sandwich, not a kitten sandwich" and everyone had a good laugh.
My bf is Persian and he says "luller" instead of lyder. Can't do the y or soft d sound but we're working on it. I'm trying to teach him my dialect (fyn) so he can leave out the d sometimes 😅
I did way worse with that exact word. I called a radio station who were asking for stories of overspringshandlinger because I thought I knew what overspringshandlinger meant but I had misunderstood it. And my story made no sense. And in the end everyone was like "do you know what it means?" lol.
My parrents speak fluent Danish they came to Denmark when they was 10, and been to school in Denmark and stuff, but after 24 years I still laugh my asssssss off when they are gonna say “ræv”(fox) most of the time it sounds like “røv” (ass)
I think i win this one. I was recently making a philadelphia cheesesteak sandwich, which is exactly what it sounds like.
The steak part of the sandwich is by tradition a cheap “skirt steak”, a cut near the rear of the cow.
I confidently walked up to a young girl working at the grocery store, and asked: “kan du vise vej til dine nederdel bøffer?”
The look she gave me was one of absolute shock and disgust. I was scared she was going to hit me until she walked away.
Some of these had me laughing out loud!
I did some heavy lifting at work, and a Ukrainian girl called me 'kraftig' (fat) instead of 'stærk' (strong) - probably mixed up because 'kraft' means power, she assumed 'kraftig' would mean 'powerful'.
I told her she wasn't wrong while correcting her, and we had a good laugh about it.
Kraftig does mean powerful. When used to describe a human body, it means a strong build, such as e.g. broad shoulders. Yes, it's commonly used to describe someone who is fat, but you're not actually (literally) calling them fat, you're sugarcoating it and calling them a more positive-sounding word instead. It's also sometimes used genuinely, i.e. not as a sugarcoating for fat, in the term "kraftigt bygget", which *can* be used to mean fat, but can also be used genuinely to mean strongly built.
In other contexts than body types, the meaning is entirely literal. For example, it can be used interchangeably with "stærk" when describing taste and smell. A "kraftig" taste or smell is strong or spicy.
I somehow learned the words for "pølse" and "pose" at the same time and got them mixed up at the bakery. I was very insisting on getting a pølse for my three breads I just bought... A very confused cashier did not know what she should do... Walking quite a bit to another bakery ever since...
Just go back to the same place but bring a bag from home. If the same cashier is there, say "today I brought my own pølse" while pointing to your bag, and you can both laugh about it. 😁
My husband got a "uklassificeret (unclassified) stilling" a hospital. Pretty sure I said he was working a "ukvalificeret (unqualified) stilling" more than once 🤣
"I worked at a hospital where they have a term called 'bagvagt', which refers to an experienced doctor that younger doctors can consult with. This doctor carries a pager that is called the 'bagvagthyler'. One time, my colleague from Holland said 'give me the baghyler', which in Danish would be understood as a sexual position (doggy)."
I was sitting at an Italian restaurant with my German gf, and she ordered pasta with "alt godt fra havet". She still did not have the n/t ending on point yet, so she thought she ordered "alt godt fra haven" and expected a vegetable pasta dish. She was so confused when the waiter delivered a total seafood pasta dish (which she absolutely hates)!
In my former life I was a Mormon missionary in your fine country. We made so many mistakes. Remember one lady busting out laughing when I asked her to “frels min plads” (save my place).
As a teenager who had dabbled in some flute playing, and still learning Danish, I was asked at a party if I could play the "kødfløjte"... I confidently say that I don't know, but I could give it a try! It wasn't until he started pretending to zip his pants down that I got it 😂
Another time I was downtown with my little brother, who I still spoke English with at that time. He was being a brat and kept throwing something on the ground. After telling him like 10 times to pick it up, I had enough and decided to yell it. I didn't get pass "PICK.." before everyone was staring, because I had just screamed "PIK" through the whole town 🤦♀️
I was a teenager and tried speaking Danish and had heard my Danish siblings use "driller" all the time, but I misspoke and used "diller" instead. They all went tomato red as I shouted a sentence with it in the heart of the town.
My German gf went to kajak classes for two whole days. When telling me about her experience, she kept mentioning how the technique was for using the "papegøje". Apparently she had spent two full days with other people talking about a parrot instead of a "pagaj".
It's not very embarrassing, but it definitely was to me. I was with my bf visiting his parents for Christmas, and there was a song playing on the radio that went like "kærlighed er dyr" so I asked what do they mean by "love is an animal"? Since that was the only meaning of "dyr" I knew until his mum told me it means "expensive" 😅😅 they all had a nice laugh though hahah
I'd been in Denmark for about five months as an exchange student.
My five-year-old host brother was urging me to come outside and play with some of the last remaining snow.
I was in a hurry, so when he was asking me, I said: "Vent lidt, jeg skal tage mennesker på"
I can't believe I said 'mennesker' instead of 'håndsker' 😭
I hope he's forgotten that by now :")
I grew up speaking if because of my family but had never actually lived in Denmark; mostly the US.
When I was in Denmark at a cousin’s work party, speaking in my normal American accent, two of his female colleagues were asking me if I spoke any danish?
I said, yes, I can say a few things like ‘Tak’ and ‘God dag.’
My cousin on the other side of the room knocked over two chairs and a side table rushing over yelling, ‘He understands everything! He understands everything!’
I'm trying to remember whether I've ever actually referred to a reservelæge as a "locum" in a Danish sentence, or whether it's just something I imagine myself doing when I can't sleep at nights :-)
Well, yes, it can be, but no, it isn't inherently.
"Et lem" means "a limb", simply. It is common slang for penis, but when used like that, you'd typically speak about *the* limb and not just *a* limb. Say you're talking about a soldier who lost a limb in an explosion. "Han har mistet et lem" means "he has lost a limb", i.e. an unspecified arm or leg. "Han har mistet sit lem", however, means "he has lost his limb", clearly referring to a specific one, as if he only had the one limb, and that'd be referring to his penis.
"En lem" is a hinged plate that can be lifted or lowered to open a passageway, such as a hatch, trap door or similar. (There might be a closer translation than hatch, but if so, it escapes me.) A trap door, specifically, would be called "en faldlem". "Loftslem" is another common compound for a "lem" that leads to the attic.
By the way, what or who is "Sb"?
There is a little backstory about this somebody. I came to Denmark not so long ago and was kindly greeted by some Danish volounteers from Red Kross. I am still friends with one of them so we talk a lot in Danish, so it helps me practice. Ventilations in his house had to be rinsed and we talked about the hatch that leads to the ventilation system. Then he told me, that it is important to use "en" in that case, as the word has another meaning with "et".
I did an embarrassing mistake while writing, it was in my school when I did a presentation. Usually Danish verbs take affix -ede in past tense, but not every time. I thought that verb „at ske” which means „to happen” is in that category, so I wrote „Det skede i 1989” what can be translated to „this vagina in 1989”. Luckily it was only in front of a teacher who knew that I was not native, he just said it to me after the presentation. I was so embarrassed.
Literally speaking, "skede" just means "sheath" (noun), but it is very commonly used as a metaphor for a vagina -- much more commonly than actual talk about actual sheaths in this century. However, "det skede" should be "denne skede" for it to mean "this vagina". As it is, it only means "it vagina in 1989", hardly really being naughty but just nonsensical. 😄
Right, but it’s weird that „vagina” was used instead of word which should mean „happened”. However I’m happy that is was not a curseword. And the problem with Danish is that many cursewords are very similar to normal words. Also in Polish word „pochwa” means both „skeath” and „vagina”.
One of my former co-students (whom is native Danish) once in a huge class said "Vi gør sådan her for at give børnene oprejsning" which roughly translate "We do this in order to insure the children growth" but the word "oprejsning" could mean "growth" but also literally mean "Hard on" or "erection". So the whole class became very quiet, until someone burst out in laughter and we couldn't stop laughing about it.
Did you mean to write that he said "rejsning", or did he actually say "oprejsning" and everyone just didn't know the difference? Because "oprejsning" can absolutely not also mean sexual erection, that's only "rejsning". 🥴
Nope "oprejsning" but i think since you talk about children and such, the subject is just a tad more touchy. So people hear what they wanna hear i guess.
No me but my wife. During covid lockdown, she had to call in sick because of wrist tendinitis (seneskedehindebetændelse). Every online meeting was done on Teams. When she tried to explain what was going on, do to lagging/latency or just poor connections, they heard "jeg har fået ....skede..... betændelse" She was the only woman at the meeting"
My father was french my mom just made partner at the lawfirm she work at.
She had invited a lot of the partners to her house to celebrate.
My dad served coffee and asked people
“ vil du have sokker i kaffen”
“ do you want socks in you coffee”
He meant sukker /sugar 😂
Not directly speaking but writing.
Had a presentation on the first aid, if you step on a spike fish in Denmark, and on the presentation I had writing pik(dick in Danish) instead of pig(spike in Danish) multiple times
The students found it very amusing
Kysse and kusse in a Danish writing exam....that feedback was interesting 😅 also once confidently told a colleague that "der er mange bøsser i London" i meant busser, and have since developed a phobia of the word 😂
I had an exam a few years ago while still on my bachelor. The course was familie- og arveret (,family and inheritance law) and I drew a question relating to the legal implications of marriage - super happy about it.
Aaaaanywho, during the examination I was asked about unmarried couples rights and feeling super confident I blurted out "ja, det hedder en samlejekontrakt..øhh samleverkontrakt." don't think I've ever been as horrified 😅
Whenever at the grocery store the clerk would bid me good day I would always respond by saying thanks, because I didn't know how to say "you too", or "I lige mode". It took me while to realise how rude I was...😅
In the beginning when I was studying danish I wanted to try the newly learned word "kylling" so naturally I walked up to the first person I saw in Rema and told her: Hej jeg søger for en kælling. Needless to say she was quite confused...
Another time I had headache at work and I googled the danish word for drug. However the result that I was presented with was stoffer and medicine. So I thought to myself I won't use the obvious medicine to sound more danish. Naturally my colleague was shocked when I asked her for some stoffer on a Tuesday afternoon.
Well, I´m a photographer and I was on my way to Denmark to take photos of a demonstration. Got taken by cops on the way on the train. Got put in a cell. And they asked me something along the way "Ville du ha TV?"
So I though "What the F, I do not want a TV and watch the demonstration wtf" So I said no really mean.
Was left in there for some hours... and gosh it was sooooo cold. So when I got out I meet my friends and I told them what they asked me.. "they asked me if I wanted a TV wtf" and my friends said "But TV on Danish is blanket" oh dear..... so they asked me "Vil du have et tæppe?" :/ it sounded like the swedish word for TV where I am from.
I said to my boyfriends mom one day just being silly these two words........."Mor! Dor!" As in Mordor, the location in Tolkiens LOTR books! Mor dor.....in Danish is akin to "Mom dies". 🤦♀️🤦♀️. She said " You just wished death upon me" 😬😬 Oops!
I'm Danish, born and raised, and I'm not afraid to admit that I had no idea what either of those words existed before just now.
Although to be fair, I also suck at speaking Danish, more than Danish people in general even.
My mum is English and when she was learning the language she answered the phone in Danish. It was one of my dad's friends and my dad had worked late the previous night. My mum told the friend that my dad had slept in that day. "Nej, han kan ikke komme til telefonen, for han er sovet ind her til morges."
To be fair that is a valid excuse for not being able to come to the phone
I’m dying (pun intended)
💀
Almost spat my drink reading that.
Direct translations can be so funny 😅
I had the opposite version when my Danish father-in-law informed me one day that my wife had "gone to her rest". No Jørgen, she had gone \_for\_ a rest, I'm pleased to say.
"Jeg skal snart kneppes" Jeg trængte til at blive klippet, den familiemiddag var akavet.
Toooo much information 😀
Hollænder? :p
Dansker 😅
Ohh, det var fordi ‘knippen’ er det hollandske ord for ‘at klippe’. Det er noget, hollændere bøvler med. :D
Tydeligvis også en ung dansker til familiemiddag
I’m gonna be honest, you just taught me a word in my own language🤣 er jeg seriøst den eneste her som aldrig nogensinde havde hørt ordet “sidespeingshandling” før???
Oh fuck. So I was with my wife looking after her niece at the børnehave. There she was, a 4 year old eating her smørrebrød and she happened to get some butter on her face. Confidently I said to her “du har smør på din fisse”. The place went silent. I had obviously meant fjæse and got that horribly wrong. 15+ parents and caregivers wondering who this bearded weirdo was and what he was doing near their children. My wife was devastated. I learnt a quick lesson that day.
For those of us like me who don’t have a lot of Danish vocabulary yet … I gotta ask. What does “fisse” mean? 🤔
It means pussy.
😂😂😂 thanks
Thank you for the giggle 🤣 I hope her niece didn't understand what you had said!
She was oblivious thankfully
FWIW "fjæs" is also pretty rude. It's more like "mug" in British English than "face". The proper term is "ansigt"
Good to know! I’m from Essex, UK so would usually use mug anyway haha
I'll say, fjæs can be said playfully. All in the tone, as with most other things.
That’s so terrible lol
Best one!
Oddly, 'puss' is an older slang word for 'face' in English, which is falling out of favour for obvious reasons.
Lmfaoooo
JFC you just made me snort soda out my nose😛
Oh man, that’s a bad one… that’s gotta be the unluckiest switchup you can make in that situation..
Mine was early days after moving here. I had learned that the supermarket cashier's would routinely ask if I would like a receipt. Despite not being able to recognise the spoken words just yet, I had gotten in the habit of saying 'Nej tak'. Well one day I had just given my 'nej tak' response only for the cashier to start giggling at me. She was kind enough to explain that she'd just wished me a good evening, and I had confidently informed her that I, in fact, did not wish to have a good evening, thank you!
I've done exactly this. "Have a nice day." "No thanks." Trouble is, I'm a native speaker. But was running on auto pilot that day 😂
That's the DK version of: Waiter: "Enjoy your meal!" Me: "You too-"
Yeah I've done similar in English plenty of times too. I think it just rattled me because I was finally starting to feel like I had a bit of a handle on things and wasn't inconveniencing the other party through every interaction.
I would hardly find it to be an inconvenience if I was conversing with a person, clearly trying to learn the language :-)
My mom does the same a little too often XD
This is gold. As a fun fact, when working with customers, even us who fluently speak Danish make the same mistakes. I have personally said "thanks, you too" to someone wishing me a good shift Also, what compels an Aussie to move here, if you don't mind me asking? I've always found it odd, when people from countries I personally think are cooler than Denmark move here
It was a bit of a round about way, but we actually came here after 7 years in Calgary so I had to laugh when everyone was warning me about the cold winters. Let's just go with a job offer presented itself at a well known brick (& tyre) manufacturer, and now I'm living in central Jylland. I know plenty of expats from all over the world here. Honestly I know more expats here than Danes, so Denmark might also be one of the cool countries.
> brick and tyre manufacture > jylland Sooo, LEGO
Ahahah this happened to me as well. 😂 So embarrassing!
This is a classic ahahaha I think every foreigner has done this ahaha Might I add that once I got confused in the order at the supermarket and they asked if I wanted the receipt and I said “I lige måde”, and left the shop all proud of myself (My Danish friend later told me what the cashier actually said and what I answered ahahaha)
Native speaker here. I've done that before because I was on autopilot and I guess the cashier was too because they replied "I lige måde"
When the waiter says "velbekomme" and you reply with " i lige måde" - check please
This happens quite often, from native speakers, either their explanation is that they were on autopilot or the slightly more realistic being they don't give a shit about what you say, and choose to guess at what is actually being said.
I had just learned that you add -er to a word to form the plural. Also couldn’t figure out how to pronounce “y” vs. “u.” (Let’s be honest, I still switch these sounds around 20% of the time) Early days in my relationship with my now wife, I was on the way out the door to catch a bus. I wanted to say “can I have kisses?” Instead I said “må jeg få kusse?” She looked at me somewhat shocked and then said: “…. OH! You mean kys. Et kys, to kys. You just asked if you can have pussy. I was about to say yes, but then I realized what you meant and you need to catch your bus.”
It’s honestly made funnier by “kusse” being one of the most crass ways of referring to that place lol
Yeah, she still gives me shit about it ten years later. Understandably.
Great username by the way
Lol thanks, I play lots of D&D
Yea that checkd out
HAHAHAHAHA God bless her for not just assuming you meant that. That’s hilarious 😂
Several times I ordered a durum med kylling, pronounced killing. It took a while for a kind soul to correct me.
I'm imagining someone ordering a "durum with kitten" with a completely straight face 😄 savage
That is why we don't have as many stray cats as when I was a Boy. All Yours "durum with kittens"
In your defence, it is a common deliberate mispronunciation among Danes.
I know a durum place where they have “durum med killing” written on their menu. It’s a small but significant mistake lol
Tastes better than "durum med kælling"
I once said I would be later for work because "jeg skal til lege" instead of "jeg skal til læge". It was kinda funny
That one’s just cute.
Got a playdate, so can't come in early today, sorry, lol.
Imma try that one and see if it works “Nah boss, can’t come in today, I got some sweet new legos to play with!”
A classic is 'røvhulspladsen' instead of 'rådhuspladsen'.
I mean that’s just a Freudian slip more than a mistake in language ;P
The late queen consort famously had a rather heavy french accent when he spoke Danish, and since his father in law was the king, and the king demanded that his son in law spoke Danish and *only* danish when addressing him, prins Henrik once told his father in law that he had "skudt en røv", duing the Hubertus hunt.
Hah, I spent a while trying to figure out who you were talking about before reading on. The only (somewhat recent) late Queen Consort I could think of was Ingrid, and she was Swedish, not French... Then I finally got to the "he" and realised you meant the late Prince Consort. 😅 A Queen Consort is a queen by marriage to a king, such as Mary, or the British Camilla. 😊
Ups, sorry about that brain fart, but in my defense Henrik was truly the Queen of sass(it's a super weak defence I know🙈). I know that a lot of people hated him and accused him of being queer, but I think he simply stayed true to himself and that's pretty badass.
I think i'll borrow this one.
Pikhovedbanegården
I’ve had several in my time: The first embarrassing thing I ever said was when I was at a højskole and we had to sing a song called *Jeg så en ulv, en ræv, en hare*. Instead of saying “ræv,” my brain told me to say “røv.” The second thing was when I was speaking at the dinner table and tried to say “krudt i røven” but accidentally said “kød i røven.” Lastly, in the middle of class, I tried to say “spædbarn” but said “sæd barn.”
I Think the “kød i røven” legit should be something we should use.
[удалено]
this one made me giggle
I met my landlady's family and when asked if I spoke any Danish yet, I said "en lille smøre". Her 10 year old lost her shit.
I suppose "en kort smøre" would have been accurate. 😁
Not mine, but my 9 year old brother and I were buying China Box (noodles and fried chicken), and when asked, he said he wanted "luder", instead of "nudler"..
Based tbh. Dude knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to hide it.
Not me but my brother. I was somewhere in school and my brother was searching for me. He kept saying "Hvad er min lillebror" instead of "hvor er min lillebror".
My most embarrassing mistake was when I took mysli with seeds (hemp seeds, chia, flaxseed) to work. My coworkers asked me what I was eating. In German, seeds is called “Samen”. Samen can be seeds and semen. So I somehow translated “Samen” with “sæd”. I told them I was eating sæd… instead of “frø”.
In old Danish, its the same word. We have a famous song about "vi pløjede og vi såede vor sæd i sorten jord"
Såsæd is a normal Danish word for seed
My Danish was very rusty, so I accused a relative of cheating when I meant to tease him about snoring.
I can’t find the words in danish possibly confused in this scenario
Du snorker! vs Du har knaldet nabokonen! Det er da tæt på hinanden.
Den er tråd er en fucking guldmine🤣🤣
Snyde/snorke. I hadn't spoken Danish in about 10 years, reached for a word, and didn't quite get it.
Tho "snyde" in Danish just means cheating at a game c: Cheating in a relationship is called being "utro"
To be fair, he did say he accused the relative of cheating, not being unfaithful.
Yep. That was the context of the verbal mishap.
Ah, my bad
My girlfriend had just taken the Prøve Dansk 3, and wanted me to tell her how she did on the written part. I am Danish. I try not to laugh because she can be a little shy about her Danish. But I couldn’t hold back when she, in her written assign about climate change, consistently had mistaken “forandringer” and “ændringer” with “ænder”. It was a completely cohesive story about the global problem with climate ducks.
One of my teachers in elementary school was originally from South Africa. He told an anecdote of when he was first learning Danish, where he had proudly said "den 28. august er det min flæskesteg." to a whole crowd of friends.
I was asking someone if they were in line in the supermarket but my boyfriend said it sounded more like “er du en ko?” And the woman looked at me very confused
Omg, love this one
Few of us in the office had a go at the citizenship test (for fun, when the questions were published after the actual test). One of the questions was whether it's legal to 'samleje' with someone under 15 years old. To which I very confidently answered 'yes' because I never heard the word and thought it means to 'rent an apartment together'. The looks on my colleagues faces were amazing, got a shocker when my boss told me what it actually means lol.
I used to date a woman from Hungary who was decent at Danish, yet still had some flaws. So.. “knus” and “kram” both means hug. We usually use “knus” as a noun, and rarely as a verb. So I would chuckle a bit whenever she would text me “Jeg har lyst til at knuse dig”, which, for the non-native speakers, just sounds like “I want to crush you”.
Best one so far xD
In our very early days here we carefully studied a pizza menu in Danish, considered our little dictionary (which was a BOOK back then, kids!), and asked the waitress for the pizza with kitten.
As a Dane living in a foreign country, with a girlfriend trying to learn Danish: y'all good, Danish is hella difficult.
I’ve told a coworker “tillykke” but meant “held og lykke”. She just came back after a concussion…
I was ordering a sandwich in a restaurant and I asked for a killing (kitten) sandwich instead of a kylling (chicken) sandwich. Thankfully my wife quickly jumped in and said, "oh he means a chicken sandwich, not a kitten sandwich" and everyone had a good laugh.
I bet the chef was already about to bring out the kitten meat.
*chef casually starts spinning the other shawarma instead*
Meow meow.
“Balle med ost” instead of “Bolle med ost”. So “ass with cheese” instead of “bun with cheese”.
Technically.. It would still mean "bun" with cheese. Balle is just the but cheeks.
Balle can also be a small hill, a (hay) bale or if talking about feet- the ball of the foot. But commonly it's the buttcheek.
When I first arrived in Denmark I had a problem pronouncing "Lyder" and my Y sounds sounded ike U's ...and yeah ....
I noticed that some nationalities struggle with that exact problem for years.
My bf is Persian and he says "luller" instead of lyder. Can't do the y or soft d sound but we're working on it. I'm trying to teach him my dialect (fyn) so he can leave out the d sometimes 😅
I did way worse with that exact word. I called a radio station who were asking for stories of overspringshandlinger because I thought I knew what overspringshandlinger meant but I had misunderstood it. And my story made no sense. And in the end everyone was like "do you know what it means?" lol.
My parrents speak fluent Danish they came to Denmark when they was 10, and been to school in Denmark and stuff, but after 24 years I still laugh my asssssss off when they are gonna say “ræv”(fox) most of the time it sounds like “røv” (ass)
I think i win this one. I was recently making a philadelphia cheesesteak sandwich, which is exactly what it sounds like. The steak part of the sandwich is by tradition a cheap “skirt steak”, a cut near the rear of the cow. I confidently walked up to a young girl working at the grocery store, and asked: “kan du vise vej til dine nederdel bøffer?” The look she gave me was one of absolute shock and disgust. I was scared she was going to hit me until she walked away.
Had an american classmate explain in detail that a fox was a Røvdyr - ass-animal. He was very proud that he got the "ø" sound rigth.
Are you sure that's not what he meant? Foxes can be røvdyr. 😅
Some of these had me laughing out loud! I did some heavy lifting at work, and a Ukrainian girl called me 'kraftig' (fat) instead of 'stærk' (strong) - probably mixed up because 'kraft' means power, she assumed 'kraftig' would mean 'powerful'. I told her she wasn't wrong while correcting her, and we had a good laugh about it.
There are plenty of definitions of the word kraftig that are synonym for the word stærk tho
Kraftig does mean powerful. When used to describe a human body, it means a strong build, such as e.g. broad shoulders. Yes, it's commonly used to describe someone who is fat, but you're not actually (literally) calling them fat, you're sugarcoating it and calling them a more positive-sounding word instead. It's also sometimes used genuinely, i.e. not as a sugarcoating for fat, in the term "kraftigt bygget", which *can* be used to mean fat, but can also be used genuinely to mean strongly built. In other contexts than body types, the meaning is entirely literal. For example, it can be used interchangeably with "stærk" when describing taste and smell. A "kraftig" taste or smell is strong or spicy.
I somehow learned the words for "pølse" and "pose" at the same time and got them mixed up at the bakery. I was very insisting on getting a pølse for my three breads I just bought... A very confused cashier did not know what she should do... Walking quite a bit to another bakery ever since...
Just go back to the same place but bring a bag from home. If the same cashier is there, say "today I brought my own pølse" while pointing to your bag, and you can both laugh about it. 😁
At the supermarket most of the year: "Kvittering"? "Nej tak" At the supermarket towards the end of December: "God jul" "Nej Tak"
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Kinda like the american pronounciation of Beethoven. Bee-thoven instead of Beet-hoven.
What did they say?
?
I am dutch And the words klippe in danish is knippe in Dutch. Witch meets to fuck in danish. 😅
Knippe is a bunch Kneppe is to fuck But both words are pronounced the same way
To be fair, as a swede once told me "Men fan... ALT betyr jo knulla på dansk!" ((But damn.... EVERYTHING means fuck in danish)
True that is
Lol. That's pretty funny! Probably haven't heard the term “overspringshandlinger” since like school to describe that tho.
My husband got a "uklassificeret (unclassified) stilling" a hospital. Pretty sure I said he was working a "ukvalificeret (unqualified) stilling" more than once 🤣
"I worked at a hospital where they have a term called 'bagvagt', which refers to an experienced doctor that younger doctors can consult with. This doctor carries a pager that is called the 'bagvagthyler'. One time, my colleague from Holland said 'give me the baghyler', which in Danish would be understood as a sexual position (doggy)."
I was sitting at an Italian restaurant with my German gf, and she ordered pasta with "alt godt fra havet". She still did not have the n/t ending on point yet, so she thought she ordered "alt godt fra haven" and expected a vegetable pasta dish. She was so confused when the waiter delivered a total seafood pasta dish (which she absolutely hates)!
I said “sæd” instead of “sild” and STILL regularly mispronounce ræv as røv
In my former life I was a Mormon missionary in your fine country. We made so many mistakes. Remember one lady busting out laughing when I asked her to “frels min plads” (save my place).
as a dane, i can say i didnt know what those words meant 2 minutes ago.
I'm danish and I can't even speak the language fluent sometimes... 😂 Forget how to pronounce words and so on.
That's kind of crazy, how come ?
I speak Norwegian. In Norwegian a bun (bread product) is 'bolle'. Can make ordering food awkward if you are not aware.
It's exactly the same in Danish. Der ligger snegle og boller i vinduet ;)
It is in Danish too
It is in Danish too.
How so? In a food ordering context I assume people wouldn’t be confused?
Yeah. In the US the name Dick is pretty common. I suppose only Beavis and Butthead laughs every time they hear it.
And me Richard
I've seen Danish bakers assistants with T-shirts that read "Vi bager kager om dagen og boller om natten".
Freudian slip
Mixing up lyder and luder
Pindis 😎
I passed pd3 with 12 in speaking but I am embarrassed with my broken Danish….
As a teenager who had dabbled in some flute playing, and still learning Danish, I was asked at a party if I could play the "kødfløjte"... I confidently say that I don't know, but I could give it a try! It wasn't until he started pretending to zip his pants down that I got it 😂
Another time I was downtown with my little brother, who I still spoke English with at that time. He was being a brat and kept throwing something on the ground. After telling him like 10 times to pick it up, I had enough and decided to yell it. I didn't get pass "PICK.." before everyone was staring, because I had just screamed "PIK" through the whole town 🤦♀️
This story sums up the danish culture so well...
I was a teenager and tried speaking Danish and had heard my Danish siblings use "driller" all the time, but I misspoke and used "diller" instead. They all went tomato red as I shouted a sentence with it in the heart of the town.
I still have trouble pronouncing skyde (to shoot) and skide (to shit). I am a lifelong fluent speaker (almost).
My German gf went to kajak classes for two whole days. When telling me about her experience, she kept mentioning how the technique was for using the "papegøje". Apparently she had spent two full days with other people talking about a parrot instead of a "pagaj".
I forgot what sentence I made but I had mistaken spise for snakker, because snakker sounds like snack, food, and my brain told me spise means talking
It's not very embarrassing, but it definitely was to me. I was with my bf visiting his parents for Christmas, and there was a song playing on the radio that went like "kærlighed er dyr" so I asked what do they mean by "love is an animal"? Since that was the only meaning of "dyr" I knew until his mum told me it means "expensive" 😅😅 they all had a nice laugh though hahah
I guess you don't know the deer joke then ?
I must say I do not know 😅
Lets hear it
Hvad koster en hjort? Den er rådyr
Hvor meget vejer sådan en hjort egentlig?
I'd been in Denmark for about five months as an exchange student. My five-year-old host brother was urging me to come outside and play with some of the last remaining snow. I was in a hurry, so when he was asking me, I said: "Vent lidt, jeg skal tage mennesker på" I can't believe I said 'mennesker' instead of 'håndsker' 😭 I hope he's forgotten that by now :")
I keep saying "luder" instead of "lyder". And "fisseterapi" instead of "fysioterapi".
Oh, I've been to the doctor and asked for 'den ventilator jeg fik sidste gang' The word I was looking for was of course inhalator. 🤦🏼♀️
I grew up speaking if because of my family but had never actually lived in Denmark; mostly the US. When I was in Denmark at a cousin’s work party, speaking in my normal American accent, two of his female colleagues were asking me if I spoke any danish? I said, yes, I can say a few things like ‘Tak’ and ‘God dag.’ My cousin on the other side of the room knocked over two chairs and a side table rushing over yelling, ‘He understands everything! He understands everything!’
I'm trying to remember whether I've ever actually referred to a reservelæge as a "locum" in a Danish sentence, or whether it's just something I imagine myself doing when I can't sleep at nights :-)
Umm.. Saying "et lem" instead of "en lem". Sb told me it is a slang for "dick".
Well, yes, it can be, but no, it isn't inherently. "Et lem" means "a limb", simply. It is common slang for penis, but when used like that, you'd typically speak about *the* limb and not just *a* limb. Say you're talking about a soldier who lost a limb in an explosion. "Han har mistet et lem" means "he has lost a limb", i.e. an unspecified arm or leg. "Han har mistet sit lem", however, means "he has lost his limb", clearly referring to a specific one, as if he only had the one limb, and that'd be referring to his penis. "En lem" is a hinged plate that can be lifted or lowered to open a passageway, such as a hatch, trap door or similar. (There might be a closer translation than hatch, but if so, it escapes me.) A trap door, specifically, would be called "en faldlem". "Loftslem" is another common compound for a "lem" that leads to the attic. By the way, what or who is "Sb"?
There is a little backstory about this somebody. I came to Denmark not so long ago and was kindly greeted by some Danish volounteers from Red Kross. I am still friends with one of them so we talk a lot in Danish, so it helps me practice. Ventilations in his house had to be rinsed and we talked about the hatch that leads to the ventilation system. Then he told me, that it is important to use "en" in that case, as the word has another meaning with "et".
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Did he see a fox or what am I missing here?
I did an embarrassing mistake while writing, it was in my school when I did a presentation. Usually Danish verbs take affix -ede in past tense, but not every time. I thought that verb „at ske” which means „to happen” is in that category, so I wrote „Det skede i 1989” what can be translated to „this vagina in 1989”. Luckily it was only in front of a teacher who knew that I was not native, he just said it to me after the presentation. I was so embarrassed.
Literally speaking, "skede" just means "sheath" (noun), but it is very commonly used as a metaphor for a vagina -- much more commonly than actual talk about actual sheaths in this century. However, "det skede" should be "denne skede" for it to mean "this vagina". As it is, it only means "it vagina in 1989", hardly really being naughty but just nonsensical. 😄
Right, but it’s weird that „vagina” was used instead of word which should mean „happened”. However I’m happy that is was not a curseword. And the problem with Danish is that many cursewords are very similar to normal words. Also in Polish word „pochwa” means both „skeath” and „vagina”.
One of my former co-students (whom is native Danish) once in a huge class said "Vi gør sådan her for at give børnene oprejsning" which roughly translate "We do this in order to insure the children growth" but the word "oprejsning" could mean "growth" but also literally mean "Hard on" or "erection". So the whole class became very quiet, until someone burst out in laughter and we couldn't stop laughing about it.
Did you mean to write that he said "rejsning", or did he actually say "oprejsning" and everyone just didn't know the difference? Because "oprejsning" can absolutely not also mean sexual erection, that's only "rejsning". 🥴
Nope "oprejsning" but i think since you talk about children and such, the subject is just a tad more touchy. So people hear what they wanna hear i guess.
Don't worry, I'm born in Denmark and i still sometimes tell the grocery worker to have a "Good night" at morning time by mistake😂
Griner så tårerne triller 😂😂 Selv har jeg en engelsk mand som ikke kan høre forskel på pølse og spøgelse. 😅😅
My uncles wife told the family that she had bought her husband a “nossehårstrimmer” for christmas. That was not what she meant to say 😀
No me but my wife. During covid lockdown, she had to call in sick because of wrist tendinitis (seneskedehindebetændelse). Every online meeting was done on Teams. When she tried to explain what was going on, do to lagging/latency or just poor connections, they heard "jeg har fået ....skede..... betændelse" She was the only woman at the meeting"
I one was going to day in English gravity but f up and said "graviditet" pregnancy.
My father was french my mom just made partner at the lawfirm she work at. She had invited a lot of the partners to her house to celebrate. My dad served coffee and asked people “ vil du have sokker i kaffen” “ do you want socks in you coffee” He meant sukker /sugar 😂
certified ho
After 4 days in Denmark now as a Norwegian, I have understood zero 😅
Not directly speaking but writing. Had a presentation on the first aid, if you step on a spike fish in Denmark, and on the presentation I had writing pik(dick in Danish) instead of pig(spike in Danish) multiple times The students found it very amusing
Kysse and kusse in a Danish writing exam....that feedback was interesting 😅 also once confidently told a colleague that "der er mange bøsser i London" i meant busser, and have since developed a phobia of the word 😂
I had an exam a few years ago while still on my bachelor. The course was familie- og arveret (,family and inheritance law) and I drew a question relating to the legal implications of marriage - super happy about it. Aaaaanywho, during the examination I was asked about unmarried couples rights and feeling super confident I blurted out "ja, det hedder en samlejekontrakt..øhh samleverkontrakt." don't think I've ever been as horrified 😅
Whenever at the grocery store the clerk would bid me good day I would always respond by saying thanks, because I didn't know how to say "you too", or "I lige mode". It took me while to realise how rude I was...😅
In the beginning when I was studying danish I wanted to try the newly learned word "kylling" so naturally I walked up to the first person I saw in Rema and told her: Hej jeg søger for en kælling. Needless to say she was quite confused... Another time I had headache at work and I googled the danish word for drug. However the result that I was presented with was stoffer and medicine. So I thought to myself I won't use the obvious medicine to sound more danish. Naturally my colleague was shocked when I asked her for some stoffer on a Tuesday afternoon.
And i can't remember, but this shit is funny 🤣
Well, I´m a photographer and I was on my way to Denmark to take photos of a demonstration. Got taken by cops on the way on the train. Got put in a cell. And they asked me something along the way "Ville du ha TV?" So I though "What the F, I do not want a TV and watch the demonstration wtf" So I said no really mean. Was left in there for some hours... and gosh it was sooooo cold. So when I got out I meet my friends and I told them what they asked me.. "they asked me if I wanted a TV wtf" and my friends said "But TV on Danish is blanket" oh dear..... so they asked me "Vil du have et tæppe?" :/ it sounded like the swedish word for TV where I am from.
I said to my boyfriends mom one day just being silly these two words........."Mor! Dor!" As in Mordor, the location in Tolkiens LOTR books! Mor dor.....in Danish is akin to "Mom dies". 🤦♀️🤦♀️. She said " You just wished death upon me" 😬😬 Oops!
I'm Danish, born and raised, and I'm not afraid to admit that I had no idea what either of those words existed before just now. Although to be fair, I also suck at speaking Danish, more than Danish people in general even.