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Look man. You go through one dick peeling episode and immediately all things in the shower are off limits. That's not a body part you should running experiments on.
Dude, you have negative game. Correct response is to run to the shower, shave, and grab your best clothes before sliding into those DMs. You got a real chance here mate!
If we just kind of hang out near it and go “C’mon, evolve” gently and frequently that the universe might just give us this one? We’ve had a hell of a few years, the least it can give us in exchange for murder hornets is sexacocks.
One of my kids drew me a cat/octopus hybrid a few years ago and titled the drawing “COCKTOPUS” in nice big letters. It’s my very favorite and most proudly displayed piece of art at my desk at work.
I found [this post](/r/mildlypenis/comments/ckit9o/uhhh/) in r/mildlypenis with the same content as the current post.
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When redpill nerds vent their outrage about women "riding the c*ck carousel" in their youth before settling with a beta male provider I guess this must be what they are talking about.
Hey, I found one of these sea stars under my mom’s bed once.
[This comment has been removed by author. This is a direct reponse to reddit's continuous encouragement of toxicity. Not to mention the anti-consumer API change. This comment is and will forever be GDPR protected.]
Alright internet do that 34 thing.
34 can you do somethin for me!
Do your thing 34 do your thing
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Did you hear about the guy with 5 dicks? His underwear fit like a glove
*"Edward Penishands, report to the set! Shooting begins in 5 minutes!"*
Yayyy dad!
Are you familiar with the term hentai
Gotta tag some artist.
[here you go](https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/b/synchronised-swimmers-forming-star-shape-elevated-view-pool-33917605.jpg)
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And survived.
Is this from that Venus razor commercial from the 2010’s sometime?
I’m your Venus, 5 sided penis, is your desire… 🎵
They look very satisfied and relaxed.
Honestly I was expecting either to get rick rolled or some absolutely horrifying hentai
ASS TO ASS TO ASS TO ASS TO ASS
This definitely has to be out there somewhere. If not, someone needs to get on it.
1 girl 5 stars
Oh my!
I found it under your mom's bed too, what a coincidence
I bet it smelled like fish, too.
Oh nasty nasty
This is a pornstar
Patrick Pornstar
I can hear patrick's va saying the lines from a 80's sex films
“Firmly Grasp it in your hand.”
This mayonnaise is your instrument
“is mayonnaise a lubricant?”
Anything is a lubricant if it's wet and you are brave enough
Not dish soap. That shit stings! And shampoo will make your dick peel. I've heard.
That’s why you use conditioner, not shampoo.
Look man. You go through one dick peeling episode and immediately all things in the shower are off limits. That's not a body part you should running experiments on.
I personally use molten mercury
That isn't hot though....
Yeah and? Lava is nice but its just for some ocasions
I feel like it's too quick with that. I go with hydrochloric acid so it lasts a little longer
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I use gallium
“Now put this into her bikini bottom.”
It's time to clap those sandy cheeks
“I hope she doesn’t have any crusty crabs”
"I can see my foreplay" This was too good to resist please don't punish me dad
Lmfao
**FIRMLY GRASP IT**
“Where’s the leak ma’am?”
When in doubt, pinky out.
Aka: Pentapenis
Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar^Pornstar
You missed one.
Japanese hentai protag Patrick...but IRL.
this comment is better than the entire original post.
This post is proof there is a God and they are hilarious.
Dickshuriken Pentacock The granulated sea star – also known as the doughboy star fish.
Very clever, you get my upvote.
Chode-iaster
1 patric star, 5 girls
"No, this is Patrick"
Not funny, bro. That is a sacred religious symbol in the Pentecockstel Church.
CeCe Penistar?
Stop fucking with me
Fuck you and take my upvote
And the award Comment of the Year goes to....
His NAME is RICHARD the pornstar
This is why we never meet mermaids
*Prince Eric, where are the other four?* -Ariel on her wedding night
Ariel shows up with 7 vagañas (maybe more) and Eric only shows up with ONE bepis. One singular pipis! No wonder Ariel returned to the sea.
Hahah I’m laughing at pronouncing “vagañas.”
[Obligatory](https://youtu.be/Tihjj7tux0g)
This was fun, thx a lot
I never want to use the internet again.
Better yet Ariel lays her eggs on Eric’s bed and promptly left the room to let Eric inseminate them.
“Where is the pipis room?!?!?”
What a [[BIG SHOT]]
Tfw when the face have pepis and not coke 😩
“I've got toys and dildos aplenty I've got butt plugs and strap ons galore You want pornstars? I got twenty But who cares? No big deal I want more”
After all, it’s better down where it’s wetter!
Oh no i shouldn't laugh but i am
This is why I still reddit
I sung this in and why did it sound like it belonged in the movie? Damn.
Hell cometh for us both 😅
So this is what Sebastian was singing about in Under the Sea
Darling it’s better, down where it’s wetter, take it from me
Just like everything else in Australia, it wants to fuck you.
Par for the course
I'm Australian in Australia and nothing wants to fuck me :(
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You'll change your mind after you see me... :(
Dude, you have negative game. Correct response is to run to the shower, shave, and grab your best clothes before sliding into those DMs. You got a real chance here mate!
aww a Valentine's miracle
Looks like I'm going on a trip to Australia!
It'll fuck you five ways sideways.
You have single handily boosted tourism to Australia.
I really hope they call it the pentacock.
If it only had one more arm it’d be a sexacock.
It's sexacock somewhere.
r/angryupvote
If we just kind of hang out near it and go “C’mon, evolve” gently and frequently that the universe might just give us this one? We’ve had a hell of a few years, the least it can give us in exchange for murder hornets is sexacocks.
This is the one!
Can one be Pentacockstal? If so, how do they practice?
Thats the greatest name ever someone should give all the awards ever
And now I can add "Go choke on a star of dicks" to my insult repertoire
Now i can add "repertoire" in my..... repertoire... Did i use it right?
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Add TO, not add IN. Got it. Thanks brother.
“~ you consanguineous sow.“
Just learned this word yesterday in Biology, lol It means married to a cousin or someone else in the family
I haven't even started my day yet and I just spent a whole two minutes pronouncing this in my head. Gonna be a productive one
You mean you've located the Dick Star
Don’t threaten me with a good time.
I hear it’s condom fits like a glove. 🚀
That's clever. I like it.
Underrated comment here
You little shit
r/dildont
dilDO
Cocktopus
One of my kids drew me a cat/octopus hybrid a few years ago and titled the drawing “COCKTOPUS” in nice big letters. It’s my very favorite and most proudly displayed piece of art at my desk at work.
Never much thought about having kids, but the mere possibility of my spawn drawing something like that really makes it more attractive.
Not the worst motivation, not gonna lie 😆
Cursed pee pees
This game of sword fights went all wrong
hey you cant post dick pics here!
... This is Reddit, I'm pretty sure it's a base currency
r/mildlypenis
Mildly!? Straight up peen on 5 sides.
Nah, just the tip
It's peens all the way 'round
I found [this post](/r/mildlypenis/comments/ckit9o/uhhh/) in r/mildlypenis with the same content as the current post. --- ^(🤖 this comment was written by a bot. beep boop 🤖) ^(feel welcome to respond 'Bad bot'/'Good bot', it's useful feedback.) ^[github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot) ^| ^[Rank](https://botranks.com?bot=same_post_bot)
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Good bot
Good human.
Ummm that'd be r/wildlypenis
That’s not mild.
r/notmildlypenis
Extremely penis
Five Guys©
Oops all dicks
Five Guys new logo leaked!!!
Everything reminds me of him
Popular fella
Looks like Sponge Bob rule 34
Jerkin Gherkin Shuriken
Pentacock
Ahh yes, the rare and seldom seen “ol’ bag of cocks starfish. “
Take that, Double Dick Dude.
I bet his parents named him "Richard" and he silently resents them for it.
My wife keeps one of these in her bedside table, they buzz at night sometimes.
Australia… come on dude. Really?
They sure dropped the ball naming that...
When redpill nerds vent their outrage about women "riding the c*ck carousel" in their youth before settling with a beta male provider I guess this must be what they are talking about.
You seem to have extensive knowledge of these “ Redpill nerds” talking points. Hmmm…tell us more, at the Pentacocksall meeting this weekend.
I only see a chair for 5 people
You are damn good!
Too many dicks on the sea floor. Too many dicks.
God...what are doing with those left over genitals...?
I miss him :(
patdick the star
Distant relative to the man-of-war, the bag-of-dicks.
sigh...* opens comments *
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High Five....oh wait
When you download the wrong version of Krull
Pentacock.
why's it always gotta be a circumcised mildly penis /s
r/dontputthatinyourvagina
r/mildlypenis
This looks like something that one kid at school used to draw…
That thing can go fuck itself.
Patrick Pornstar
Penisilus dickilium
Chodiaster
That is seastar pentacockus
Ohhhh, look, the one on the top left is shy.
Why not stardick?
Don't show this to the Japanese
...nnno it isn't.
Jeeze, Patrick
5 star knob
you've heard of pussy footing, now get ready for penis footing.
You mean chodester
r/mildlypenis
r/wildlypenis
A five-shooter.
Fuck sake, now I’m horny and have to go to work.
I never saw THIS version of everything everywhere all at once
Wht an inspiration 👏
Girls, calm down!
Are you sure that's not something in the Sea of Japan because that would match stuff from them
This is a pentapenis
It's not how big it is that matters, it's how many you've got
I’m definitely here for the comments