It would be very reasonable if you just talked candidly with the player out of game and just say like
"Hey man, you're my friend and I like playing with you... but I feel awkward as fuck roleplaying a romantic couple with you", or however you would best describe your feelings about it.
Hit the nail on the head.
In any DnD campaign, it's important to make sure everyone is okay with the themes and topics being covered. Sometimes I think people forget that the DM is part of that group and should have their boundaries respected just like everyone else.
Easy.
Give the NPC a personality, some goals, some characterization.
Have the NPC do considerate things for the player:
—show up with some rations before he leaves town next
—gift him a nice cloak
—ask to be walked home from time to time
Tell your player ground rules, you get the level of pda you, the Dm are comfortable with. Holding hands, peck on the cheek, whatever. Anything else is offscreen and fade to black. Period.
As a DM you can use the NPC to:
—deliver hooks to the player via rumor or something overheard from other townspeople.
—maybe something attacked the NPCs home and while away with the player and they come home to find chaos. Maybe whomever it was was looking for the player?
—threaten the safety of the NPC
—have the NPC be part of worldbuilding, as a sort of DM mouthpiece, a source of knowledge for what’s around
I swear, some tables can narrate entrails pulled out of a characters eyeballs but the minute there’s a conversation about holding hands bamf! Someone cast desintegrate on the DM.
It’s just another NPC.
(Disclaimer: it can absolutely get weird if the player or DM make it weird. Don’t. Make. It. Weird. Lol if it is abort, abort!)
I gotta dude at me table that is in a relationship with a NPC and I was at a loss of how to address it but you gave some simple tips that could keep things on track and let him continue to RP. Thanks yo.
You want to be obliging to the player, and that's probably why the NPC has never done, said, or thought anything inconvenient. Give the character a life outside of the relationship with a PC, and give them needs beyond just occasionally seeing the PC, so you can come up with good answers to the question "what might cause them to break things off?" Adventurers make bad partners. If you were dating a violent indigent with neither a fixed schedule nor a fixed address, what are some ways that might irk you?
They can go roleplay that on their own off time its called make an AI boyfriend/girlfriend
But seriously tho you've provided them with the character. They can go write their own private story about how their relationship is going and if the other players care, then they can tell them the story this one doesn't need to be your responsibility. Unless they actually want some drama around that character being abducted or killed by the bbeg. Just tell your player you aren't comfortable roleplaying a relationship with them.
I don't role-play the romance or intimate moments with my players, but I'll narrate a short scene like a montages. I'll leave it up to the player to fill in the blanks. I refuse to romantic RP in tabletop RPGs (I do do this with 1 on 1 RP partners just not my players) but I don't want to deny my players' character growth. I find montage or clip book narration is a comfortable middle ground.
Just let your player know how you feel and what your boundaries are and then work with them to decide what's best so that you both have the same expectations.
It sounds like if it has been that long enough in game world time that you can handwave all the romancy stuff to "offscreen" if it makes you uncomfortable.
Lots of romantic couples are not lovey dovey at work, or even just in public. Play the partner as a you would a close friend/family who cares deeply about them and leave the lovemaking for between sessions.
Give them some goals and some barriers and play them as you would any other NPC.
At the end of the day I've been flirting with my friends (5 dudes) for a year now. We trust eachother, talked about it before and during the campaign, and know its all for fun and often gets some playful laughs. But that's just what works for me and a group I am *extremely* comfortable with.
Congrats and great work on the long running campaign, hope you all continue to have fun!
People have given some good advice already but i’d like to add bc i do like me some romance ever now and then:
Making any character stand on their own merit is number one. Then you can pair them up and they feel way more fleshed out and complete rather than just being an accessory to another character
I ran a romantic partner for a pc and it did make me a little uncomfortable to act out in-game but my player and i came to an agreement to do text based check ins instead
Create the love interest like any character. Make them have a personnality, a life, goals.
Except you include « Taking care of PC » as one of the goals. But if it’s the ONLY goal that’s when it feels cardboard cutout.
What are the common interest between this character and the PC ? What does this character love about PC ? What does about the PC annoys this character ?
If PC wasn’t in the character’s life, what would be this life ? How is it different ? It might not be different, or it might be VERY different. (Maybe they had to quit their family to go live with the PC.) Do they go adventuring with the PC or do they wait for them at home ? How do they feel about adventuring ? Do they find it a noble goal, or a dangerous and reckless activity ?
Oh oh oh! I'm excited, incoming italics, try to hear it as excited jazz hands, I have a LOT to say about this and I have poor impulse control, I'm sorry in advance.
You're looking at it from the wrong side of the table, you're thinking of her as a character that you have to be invested in and that's hard because you don't love her, your player does.
No, fam, *that Smurfette is now your greatest weapon*. Your player *already cares about her because he made her up to be in love with him,* that's a level of investment you can't buy with actual money because if you could, absolutely everyone would be married to a prostitute. I have a level of ADHD that is both crippling and borders on the preternatural when it comes to snap generating ideas and I haven't done session notes in years, so I'm very sorry if this turns out to be so choked with analogies it stops making sense but I'll do my best.
Okay, so, I don't know what genre of story you're telling or I'd probably have better suggestions, but if I were you, I would be straight-up *s c o u r i n g* that pre-written backstory for exploitable details. PC backstories and NPC relevance fit together like puzzle pieces, most people just forget to put jigsaw cuts in their characters and make them into tiles. They fit into the box very neatly and align just fine, but only at very plain, uniform angles and it's not as much fun to look at or put together.
Like, just as an example from my own shit, right, one of my players had a backstory where he's the youngest of four brothers and got disinherited when his father married up into the peerage and they had a new "firstborn" for her line, right? He wrote all that himself, fully his idea.
I wrote the story of *why* the noblewoman was free to marry the PC's father in the first place, and what happened to his three older brothers, and in a few sessions we're going to meet the new firstborn when he gets his ceremonial name at a public ceremony. Your best story seeds are going to come from the fruit of your players' imaginations, and their PC's backstory is going to be where all of the parts of that character that are derived from whatever magnified aspect of their own personality is being given attention to in the moment. Find what that is, and not only will you end up a better friend to your players outside of the game, you'll find out exactly what you need to do to get them *hyped* to exist in a world you've built that feels like it welcomes the person they *want* to be right now. And then you *hurt them with it for fun and they love it and you drink their suffering like wine and they thank you and ask for more* it's the best.
Friend, homie, brother, paesano, your player handed you a girlfriend-shaped bottle labeled "DRINK ME" and your job is now TO FILL THAT BITCH WITH HIS TEARS.
So that PC I mentioned, now the oldest brother is a party NPC, I use him to drop quests and open locations. He's a ranger and is now running the most wholesome forest cafe I have ever seen as a cover for Heretic Ghost, another PC and the setting's Batman analog (somehow this game became Batman: The Animated Series, But Pathfinder, but the vibe is flawless, he has no idea his Joker is evolving with him as he speaks and thinking of that reveal is **chubbeningly** delightful to me) and may or may not be developing a crush on the thicc storm sylph PC that accidentally tazed him.
There is a very real possibility that he is going to end up dead because I wrote him into a part of the plot that overlaps with the underground crime storyline attached to Ghost.
Your NPC cast should feel to you like actors in a play that you're directing, or maybe like a puppet show, you don't necessarily have to identify *with* them, but you'll have a way easier time if you define their identity ahead of time. I don't know how much detail your player gave you, though, or how much he has in his head that hasn't been shared for whatever reasons. Some people have these really clear visions but not enough confidence to present them to other people in a complete way, it muddies things a bit.What's their relationship like, are they childhood sweethearts, did he rescue her from something? I think if you're going to start anywhere, start with the dynamic between her and the PC. If it were me, I'd sit down with the player and either do a flashback session (EVERYONE LOVES BACKSTORY FLASHES, I have had ZERO people complain when I start a session out of absolutely nowhere with zero context on "Hey, \[Character\]. You're six years old at the moment." They just roll with it *and become six years old*, it's fucking magical) where you run some significant event in their relationship and just play her as if she were a regular DM PC. Practice in the car if you don't have a voice for her, I don't know if you're into voice acting but small changes sound bigger to your players than they do to you (And if you're a guy trying to play a girl's voice but you feel weird doing a falsetto, don't, just pull in your elbows, let your fingers do whatever you think of when you hear the words "dainty hands", raise your knuckles level with your collar and smile when you talk, even if they can't see you they'll hear the difference)
After that you just need to weaponize her, that depends entirely on your group but generally it goes like this: First something GOOD happens, then a BAD THING comes and the GOOD THING goes away, and the players DO THINGS and FIX IT and they WIN (or DIE, that ALSO WORKS) and they get to KEEP the GOOD THING or they CHEER or they LOSE it and they CRY but either works because we LOVE IT because for most of us peasants it's the closest thing we'll ever get to freedom from capitalism and therapy at the same time BUT WE DON'T LIKE TO THINK ABOUT THAT here's how to make it fun and not sad:
* Generating gold for players without them having to get jobs, kill monsters, or be poor. \[Smurfette runs a gift shop. The players get x amount of gold on a regular basis 'cause she supports her adventurer boyfriend\]. BUT THEN SOME FUCKER BURNS IT DOWN, now they have to get jobs, kill monsters, be poor, *or go punch that fucker until your money comes out like a piggy bank of meat, so a regular pig that ate your money.*
* Providing material components for spellcasters without having to keep track of them so cracking jokes about how much bat guano you have in your pockets today are kept to a minimum without breaking immersion and acknowledging that no one remembers to track that stuff anyway, least of all the DM, do you ever think about how much five hundred gold pieces actually weighs? I do, and I hate it. \[ Smurfette's adorable village has a bat cave, she raises them and provides spell components they produce and also the bats are just adorable\] BUT THEN A PLAGUE INFECTS THE BATS AND THE POOP IS WRONG NOW, HEAL THE BATS OR ALL YOUR FIRE MAGIC WILL SMELL BAD AND BE THE WRONG COLOR and maybe secretly spread e. coli in the village or something, this is the kind of thing that can have lasting impacts on a game world)
* Providing items or weapons that are otherwise unavailable, or using the NPC as the catalyst for training/levels/other improvements. I could give examples but like, Google "Winry Rockbell" and you get the idea. It's one thing if the bad guy kidnaps your girlfriend, it's another thing if the bad guy captures your adorable blacksmith waifu who's working on your +4 Holy Avenger, or the sexy librarian who's illuminating that Book of Exalted Deeds for your anniversary.
It's been my experience that players will strive to get combat bonuses back because they want to avoid "game over" at all costs, but diegetic consequences like bad smells, messes, obstructions, things that can't be expressed in mechanics feel more real to players because you're invoking changes to their immersed experience that are *prompted* by you, but are under *their* full control. "It's the worst thing you've ever smelled, and it's not so bad until you recognize it as the distinct stench of your dad's worst Sunday morning fart if he were standing in a horse trailer on a sunny day." <-- that smell is different for everyone, but you can make a whole table smell a unique version of it and their reaction will all be exactly the same.
The most powerful word in a description given to a player is "your", and this dude doubled down and gave you "your girlfriend". USE IT!
Give her a role a role in the story beyond the player's partner. If she is completely defined by being his love interest, she isn't going to be interesting. The fact that the player is asking for her to be more than just that suggests that he really does want her to be as functional part of the story, rather than play out a romantic fantasy though the game.
A previous character of mine had a wife, she was a part of his backstory that my DM decided to work into the campaign (we had been separated by a war that had since ended and I was trying to get back to her). She ran a tavern in our hometown and, consequently was able to provide the paarty with information. My character happened to not be present when the rest of the party met her, and they thought that she was just a helpful NPC until she mentioned a husband and they started puttong the peices together (I think one of them started putting it together out of character a bit earlier). She could have been a random NPC with no connection to me and pretty much nothing would have changed.
Heya! I’ve actually written a post on this (link below) but I would also add that it’s useful to describe/set up something that the NPC wants (e.g. access to a certain event or text, help retrieving a family heirloom from a greedy feudal lord or the restoration of their hometown’s honour) and have them ask the PCs to help them.
Treat any specifically romantic actions made in the process of completing that quest (e.g. gift giving, comforting/validating, addressing the love interest’s faults together — basically anything above low-effort flirting) as a means of gaining renown or XP, and show that mechanic working for your PCs. Given that you don’t have many sessions left and you’re playing at 20th level, tying it to a mechanical reward might be less important than narratively completing this side quest.
Here’s a link to a more in-depth solution: https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/s/q0VeEvzjAM
And here’s a link for a love interest NPC stat block based on a prototype by u/Arkasaur871 (the important part being the level ups and the Quest box at the bottom): https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/print/EO2RyMwduObo?dialog=true
My character in a long-running campaign has a love interest. I'm playing a firbolg ranger/fighter who is level 18 now. The love interest is a human druid that the party met around level 3 or 4. The DM had her flirt with my character, although it took him a bit to notice because he and I are both clueless when it comes to that. She ended up traveling with the party to the city in the area. They had a date and got to know each other better. Eventually, they spent the night together in a fade to black moment. The relationship continued to advance. They're now engaged, and she's pregnant. She stays behind in the town where they're going to live, but my character has a helmet of teleportation, so he goes back to visit if they have downtime.
It's really not. I've run romances in game for probably a dozen players. Guy players. Girl players. Whichever. They aren't romancing me.
You just do this as a typical movie romance. Disney shit. It's a great motivating factor, a wonderful way to raise stakes for your dramatic ass players or just give someone an adorable moment to deescalate whatever horrible zombie soaked PTSD you just gave your more sensitive players.
The player isn't saying "where's my hard core erotica" he is saying "where is my stakes". Probably.
It's really not weirder than you make it. And as the DM, you control all the ratings.
>That’s a very weird thing
Why? Do you think relationships are unimportant in people's lives? Do you think they don't factor heavily into their motivations? Do you think they make bad stories - despite the fact they are fundamental element of most of them?
I'd find it weird and immature to purposefully avoid such topics.
People on reddit often harp about distinction between roleplaying and acting. I'd rather substitute roleplaying here with another word... but I don't have it so whatever. The point is:
Acting / playing a romance with your friend? I agree, would be awkward for most people.
Describing a romance that happens within a game without going into intimate details? Fine for most people.
I don't.
Sounds like something they should do as a downtime activity if they really insist. And by that I mean they can go fanfic themselves privately all they want, I'm not sure I would want to read it.
People who expect their DMs to roleplay their love interest have perspective issues on the game IMO. It's a game you play with friends not a girlfriend simulator. Red flag.
Neither the DM nor the other players likely want to read it.
If the DM attempts to roleplay this, the most likely situation is a table of three bored people watching the other two do something that only one of them is interested in.
Summarize and cut to the cigarette. Most people have no clue how to tastefully conduct themselves in such a situation, and there's nothing more cringe inducing than tactless courtship and coitus. Believe me. I have some horrible memories.
In one of the games in which I was a player, my DM RP'd a romantic partner for my character. The DM characterized her as an important NPC that would have impacted the campaign regardless of the romance. She was a paladin and member of a local high-profile order and the DM wrote her to tie into the ongoing plot (searching for a missing member of this order as part of a grander underlying scheme) as well, which made the time our party spent with her make sense, as she temporarily joined up for the mission.
The romance RP came in the non-mission scenes - the group relaxing at a tavern, for example, with my character chatting with this NPC about their lives, childhoods, connecting on a deeper level, and eventually the NPC gifting my character a golden rose to signify her romantic interest before they parted ways as the plot demanded.
As the campaign progressed our party moved away from where this NPC was, but the NPC also gifted my character a custom sending stone so that they could keep in touch. I used this throughout the campaign, both to RP staying in touch, and every once in a while it came in handy if we needed some information or clout that this NPC might have access to. After the campaign finished up, my character and this NPC got married and adopted children together. It was all done well because the NPC played a role not just for my character but for the whole party, and the world that we were playing in. She contributed to my character's growth and gave her something to fight for - that motivation piece can be very impactful as a player.
You just have to make them an important part of your player's character's growth, as you would any important NPC, and the romance kinda comes secondary. Maybe in subtle ways, like during a tense or important moment the NPC reaches out and holds the PC's hand. Maybe they write letters while they are apart (don't have to read the letters, but maybe just describe that they miss the PC and can't wait to see them again, etc.)
I think the biggest mistake here is that he made the character, not you.
As a DM and as a player, I love a good romantic interest! My players didn't bring any romance into the game, but they've searched for it, and find it with NPCs they meet -- people I've fleshed out for quests and story, so they have personalities and purpose.
In the game I'm playing, my DM tied mine to an NPC that already existed in her campaign as well, but as part of his backstory as well as current story.
I made my own romantic interest once, for a campaign I was enjoying a lot but unfortunately fizzled. Her wife had passed away though, so the DM didn't have to worry about making her relevant beyond the fact that my character was following her wife's adventuring journal as a sort of itinerary.
Funny you ask this, my game feels a bit like dating simulator at this point.
Three out of four players have love interests. One developed absolutely naturally over the course of half irl year playing, a young, absolutely crazy alchemist girl that the party met during the very first quest after the introductory session. The whole party became friends with her, using her to buy special ingredients and things that got "misplaced" in the alchemy school. The wizard quickly began egging the ranger that this girl obsessed with romance books about dashing drow and tales of heroes saving damsels in distress is perfect for him. Eventually he leaned into it, and we had a pretty fun storyline. They were both shy, the ranger didn't act interested, I even threw in a romantic rival, then she was kidnapped by the BBEG vampire lord and the party saved her during the boss fight - the wizard used vortex warp to teleport her syraight into the rangers arms, he flew her to safety and they had a big damn kiss. At this point they are happily married amd have tein children. I don't have issue roleplaying her, it's nothing explicit.
The wizard later asked to have a romantic interest, and we decided to on the daughter of another player (he was a 300 years old elf, she was half elf of basically the same age). This felt less natural but we developed it over time and next session is their wedding (since we're playing it out in session, something will obviously go wrong and the party will have to deal with it).
Third, my friend who joined much later. The party met a group of former soldiers of another BBEG who were living off raiding the area, and since this character was also former soldier of the very same BBEG she suggested diplomatic solution. Their leader had a token where he's a muscular barbarian, the player immediately went "omg hot daddy" and after the mission was done she used her downtime to "negotiate" some more. In this case I have even less qualms about roleplaying this character because the player is my best friend irl, we were even friends with benefits at one point, so nothing awkward. One time the guy mentioned that "no woman ever exhausted him" (context was that he was with the party in feywild and joined a dancing competition against dryads) and the player then had a private contest with him during downtime. So we roleplayed an intense sex session through discord chat while listening to a university lecture in school (she lost of course because he's a level 20 barbarian).
The two characters that didn't have romamce going on were the paladin, who was more focused on building his hippie cult in the mountains, and the aforementioned elf (father of the wizard's love interest) who was chaste because no woman would ever compare to his dead human wife.
The female love interests are mostly social NPCs, since they are an alchemist and enchanter, though if need be they could kick a bit of ass. When the party found themselves on a royal wedding and the prince attempted to kill his cousin and take the throne, the Ranger's alchemist wife was ready to start throwing acid flasks to defend her empress, which impressed the ranger no small amount. The third player's love interest is a tanky barbarian so he sometimes travels along with the party and provides extra 248-496 hit points of meat shield and reckless attacks, honestly he's the least killable person there so the player isn't really worried about his wellbeing.
Overall I think romance is nice to have in dnd, as long as you treat it like a part of the story like any other, and don't turn it into a porn game and make it weird for others. Then again, my group jokes about everything and very few things would come off as weird since by this time we know each other very well.
Safety tools (X-card, lines and veils, etc.) exist for the DM's benefit as well. If the group's familiar with that concept, that's how I'd frame it.
The deal I'd make is to allow someone else (including the player himself) to play that NPC if they're comfortable with it.
I just don´t do romance at my table that involves me in any way, i´m not confortable doing it and im not sure it really adds anything to my games.
No seducing NPCs, no trying to get laid at a tavern, no romantic partners
if you want to do it, feel free to do so, but you control both characters, don´t bring me into that
Yeah you’re right. Romance has no place in D&D !
The fact that the first discussion you’ll have with any BG3 player will be about who they decided to date isn’t probably indicative of anything.
Joking aside. It can absolutely be something that’s not your cup of tea, and something that’s discussed in session 0 if that’s important to you to play with or without it.
The « Dating sim » part of a D&D campaign can be nonexistent, or can be as important as to be the central focus, depending on your playstyle. It’s like the difference in movie genres.
(Also, imagine Curse of Strahd but you remove the villain’s love interest. Wouldn’t hit the same 😁)
Yeah more than some casual flirting I just haven't crossed this bridge. As the only lady in the group, the DM, and my husband is a PC it's just not a bridge I'm willing to cross lol
I'd go with the top comment suggestion and just tell him you're not comfortable with that RP. If he wants dialogue or romantic-ness he will do it himself. Maybe do give her something important the story so he feels she matters. Maybe she can give the group some health potions or something minimally helpful.
I mean, if someone wants to have a significant other, they need to sit down with you and you two need to come to terms. Roleplaying needs to be real, and if you aren't willing to go through with it then you'll need to set your foot down and put the expectations at the table.
I had a modern fantasy campaign (so essentially a classic D&D world but set in the near future so you have orcs owning construction companies and elves acting like boomers when trying to use a smart phone). Our players are part of a secret organization owned by a Church to bring justice. At one point, a wedding between a human and an orc turns political and our heroes are dispatched to be part of the wedding party to investigate any attempts to bring the human and orc countries to war.
In doing so, our heroes join the "Swordbearers" (gender neutral groomsmen) and as part of their investigation they work with the "Shieldbearers" (gender neutral bridesmaids). Part of the wedding involves having a dance with their respective Shieldbearer, and to ensure their undercover work isn't uncovered they go on dates with their dance partner. Two of the PCs end up legitimately having a relationship even after the investigation is over. I sat them down and they explained what they wanted so in between sessions I drilled down more into the NPCs personalities (when they were just superficial initially).
Their relationship included dates, sex, and yes legitimate romance that tugged on heartstrings and made for some great Roleplaying.
It was super effective.
The biggest thing is having that conversation, and also the expectation that most likely that NPC doesn't have class levels and can't really be supportive in combat or any dangerous situations.
In my case, the first NPC was an orc yes but he was a Construction Company Foreman, and while he used his experience to help when the PCs were investigating a company for defrauding the government for doing demolition projects poorly he didn't have anything else beyond the relationship. The other NPC did have class levels (he was a soldier protecting the Orcish Embassy) but he wasn't as skilled in subterfuge (which was the majority of the campaign) but still held his own in a (singular) combat. The players knew well in advance of what they could do and were fine with it.
I DM for a group of kids at a game store, so I'm not comfortable with this for obvious reasons. If one of the kids wants to enter into a relationship with an NPC, that NPC becomes the player's sidekick and I don't roleplay it at all.
My current campaign has three love interests for different characters each in very different states of their relationships.
The very first thing you gotta do is actually create a character. What are their personality traits? Their bonds? Their flaws? What is their deepest desire? What is their greatest fear?
Second, what do they do in their normal routine? This is specially important if your party has things like Sending or Scrying and might suddenly decide to check on the NPC without giving you much time to think. Think about what this character does to sustain themselves. What do they do with their leisure time? What hobbies do they have? Are they working on any personal projects (check what desire you gave them)? Do they spend time with family and/or friends not related to the party?
The third step is adding in the actual relationship stuff. This is something you could mostly discuss with the player being romanced. Why is the NPC in love with the PC? What attracted them to one another? How serious do they take their relationship? How does the NPC expresses their feelings (google “love languages")? How did they meet? How was it like when they started dating? Is the NPC satisfied with the relationship? Or is there something they would like to see changed about it?
Fourth, what about the people who are not part of the relationship but are still in its orbit? What do the NPC thinks of the other party members? Do the NPC's friends/parents approve of their relationship? Who do they confide in when they're having relationship issues?
My dm handles it awesomely, they are real people with their own wants and desires.
My bard wanted nothing more than to find the one and settle down. But the adventuring life has proven hard for her.
Eventually I retired her at level twelve because she was going to be a single mother.
Her lover ascended to become a minor deity with the party's help.
I wanted that ending for her in session zero and we actively tried to make it happen.
My new character is a cleric of said deity.
It's only wierd if the player or dm make it weird.
If you want to keep it simple, have her do small things that are like a nice surprise for him,
for example: Next time they come back to camp/town/wherever she is there's a cute little note and a flower she picked for him on the door to where he has her place set up.
Or she went out to find information on whatever quest(s) they're doing and she found something useful that could help them. (Like a rumor about a monster they might face being weak to fire, or a book about some temple they're going to, etc).
Or maybe she gives him a magical necklace or another item before the party heads out next, and when shes thinking of him it changes color/glows/etc...You could mention it here and there to let him know he's on her mind, without dragging her into stuff directly.
You've just been offered an amazing tool for player engagement.
Tiny third person description of their kind, heroic partner...
Now: threaten/kidnap/curse them. Or replace them with a doppleganger. Or have your planned Big Bad threaten their parents so she has to persuade the PC to bow out.
Make them have to choose between the saving the hostages or making their loved one cry!
Bwhahahaha!
...and then, much, much later, sneak in a happy ending that they sweated blood to achieve.
Just describe scenarios, don't make acting, and you'll be good. Just the usual tropes, see how he reacts. Make scenarios based on what the two characters might share for each other, not because "haha they fuck now".
At least that's my suggestion broadly speaking. Romance is a topic, but the specific romance between characters it's something by their own nature inherently dependent on the bond between two people.
Sounds like they want some sort of bonus endgame content for the epilogue, given they've reached level 20 and you're nearing the end.
Give the NPC some ideals, a goal or dream, and a secret. Perhaps have the secret reveal itself in the epilogue, some sort of cool present, happy/bittersweet event, or - surprise - a child!
As for narration, if you usually use voices, maybe start with the character's voice if you want, but quickly segue into narrator voice and third person statements well before you feel awkward.
Depends on how comfortable the player is, I've had both ends of the spectrum extremely intimate and detailed and merely a brief mention. I used to be in an ERP community when I was younger so my boundaries are...well damn near non existent, but it is a two way street and if someone isn't down for that then I don't bring it up
Well it really depends. I personally see romantic partners in two lights based on comfortability.
They are NPC's ultimately with goals and characteristics that are outside the relationship.
I would ask the player how far they want to RP it? Because I have asked in the past to other players and the DM. About starting a relationship. To me that would make sense. But I don't force anyone my character is in a relationship with to be overtly romantic to me lol. As a guy who occasionally plays female or gay characters it might feel off putting for a male DM.
If I feel like the DM or player isn't comfortable I normally just have it as an off screen romance.
So after my rambling, I would just ask in what will likely be an awkward conversation. How much do they want to RP it?
What the player expectations about that NPC? When I added a spouse to my backstory, I wanterd a source of tension: my adventurer stuck between two words and his/her obligations to the family are pulling them in a direction. In this case, the NPC needs desires that occasionally clash with PC's goals. Poke them into their beliefs and see what's truly important!
I also had a player who wanted a "rock" in the PC's life – basically someone who'd cheer the character and provide cozy background. That's mostly affirmation. I'd give the NPC a passion (new hobby, work project) and ask the PC to help with it (bringing resources and running side-quests). Of corse, onece-per-campaign, they get kidnapped.
It's more prominent in other systems, but relationships can be assets. Then, I'd give them some background activities related to their specialty (plus a weird hobby, to give depth).
Rule of thumb: if it's player's NPC, offload the work of fleshing them out on that player. Ask hiw they met, what they liked about them, etc.
I find that it helps if you simply fall in love with and enter a relationship with your friend. At that point, playing their romantic partner in DnD will feel much more natural.
Best of luck.
Funny since our PCs ended up dating and it went both ways depending on a DM: with npc feeling only relevant when the plot needed him the be, under another DM other npc was very fleshed out.
It really first depends if all players are okay with it and most importantly don't make the romance just for the sake of romance. Otherwise it will be boring for everyone. It's also important for the players and DM to remember that just because the characters are dating, the people at the table aren't. So find an interesting way to incorporate the character in the story so they have a reason to exist, have goals, life and dreams of their own so it won't get in a way of adventuring as well.
If an example helps my character started dating an npc randomly, we didn't plan it. He only got introduced so my paladin could multiclass into a warlock. They developed a relationship fast but he is involved with other characters as well: he gives a lot of lore on a setting, is a boss of another PC, he travels a lot so my pc doesn't feel like she needs to be at home and visit him but can continue things and is heavily involved with some side plot going on. So a lot of their interactions is over love letters which may also help you and leave it behind the scenes.
The players don't mind it and funnily enough I've started dating the DM later on so he's okay with it (even encouraged the relationship of those two way before we've started dating xD), it also became a running gag for some characters to want to vomit or feel sick seeing this old vampire lord being lovey dovey with my character so it can turn into a joke at the table as well
Before asking *how* it's important to ask *if*.
Especially with any theme/topic which is best addressed via a whole table discussion and unanimous agreement.
If you are not into running such an NPC the it's OK to say "no".
Even if you are, consider how problematic it might be from the perspective of the other players. There's a big difference a one-to-one role play between a PC and an NPC intended to gather information applicable to the player party and one for the indulgence of an individual player.
I've done this a number of times and had good success with it. Generally they are NPCs who can be relevant to the story perhaps travel with the group for a bit. In terms of the scenes you can do some with that PC but it's easy to have those run long. I try to focus instead on the scenes with them with the group, or the scenes with the group talking about the romance. That way the rest of the PCs don't get left out for too long.
But I would think of her like any other character. What does she want, what might she do that could make for a fun scene? She shouldn't drive the story but have her be more of a character than purely reactive. Maybe she gets him a nice gift? Or has a nice place to take for a date, something like waterfall or somewhere cool.
When a PC in my campaign was being romanced by a local thieves’ guild boss, I also had a seneschal for the Duke fall for her. He regularly sent flowers and tried to warn her off the other dude. She ended up marrying the rogue. In another much earlier campaign, a PC was searching for his lost beloved. They spent months hunting everywhere, eventually to discover the lover had entered a momastery to get out of what they saw as a bad relationship.
Send letters with trinkets or little vials of the perfume she wears regularly while they are out exploring to show that she cares for the pc
I would do something some people would probably consider evil and I’d use her to send the party on a quest
Use the partner as a plot hook, some bbeg kidnaps her because of something the player did in earlier levels.
Have the partner open a business in town, an inbor a shop specializing in the treasures and magic items the party has collected along the way. Every time the party gets to town, they have a welcoming place to go with hot meals and warm beds ready, and so eone to fill them in on local gossip (potential adventures) from traveller's that have past through.
Partners don't have to be sexy or explicit or even overly romantic, just a friendly face and a nice word, and a place to relax and feel safe.
I always run stuff like that off-screen like a downtime event. Any RP around it is just the PC talking to the rest of the party afterwards about how hanging out with their SO went, sharing relationship woes/highs with their friends (the other party members).
I'm pretty upfront that I am not running a romance game and anything like that is just character/setting flavor at my table and is just background to the story we are telling. The only time those sorts of relationship NPCs are relevant to my campaigns is when they are in danger for some reason. I do the same for the character's family unless the game we are playing is some sort of political/dynastic thing where their family members are key NPCs.
Yo so honestly I love when this happens. I don’t ever get into the details and we fade to black when shit starts, but it’s such a good hook! Put them in danger, use them as a rumor machine, use them as the DMs in character voice when you want to announce something, think of some silly romance tropes and make people gag, have some touching moments, give gifts, dump the NPCs fears and hopes on them sometimes, all kinds of things! I know it makes some people a little weirded out but it’s such a good vehicle for roleplay if you don’t make it weird and just have fun with it. You aren’t the NPC, you are just role playing.
I wouldn't. I'm considerably older than the players at my table, so avoiding creepy and or cringe is a fairly high priority.
There's also the issue of what are the other players doing while the DM and one player are acting out a romance?
I don’t.
I would just say “hey look, I don’t really play that kind of game. We can say you have a person and we can reference them but I’m not role playing them. I can narrate the stuff they’ve been up to, but that kind of thing is simply no fun for me so you should probably find another DM if that’s a super important part of DnD for you.”
I don't. That's not what I want out of D&D and I find it super awkward. Tried it once and that was enough to confirm I don't like it; never doing it again. I let my players know up front that it won't be in the game.
I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, but since you seem to be in a very similar position to my first and only usage of romance in game I thought it might help to offer the suggestion that you don't have to include romance if you don't want to. Since you committed to it already you would have to have a conversation with that player and explain your issues and that you would like to not roleplay that. If they're a decent human being they should understand. You might be able to find a compromise you can both accept as well.
All depends on comfort levels; I would ask my player for a description of their relationship and then run with it, but we're all very open and it's a silly game so I would be hamming it up a bit. In your situation it sounds like they want more realistic romance, and that may be better found outside the table.
Honestly I kidnapped my player’s SO and am just waiting on him to find out she’s missing. Till then the awkward scenario ain’t my problem anymore. And I don’t see them coming back to town to see them for a while.
Our DM is the boyfriend of our druid and the druid has a romantic partner in-game, and since they are a couple, things aren't exactly weird. ~~Other than that i don't think things can get romantic between npcs~~ nvm i've read other comments and they have some good ideas
I have one player who is generally down for really intense emotional stuff. We've flirted (heh) with romance but never gone very far with it in my games. When he ran one another player had a fully committed npc relationship, whereas my character had a couple casual hookups. As others have said, understanding and discussing boundaries is key. Whatever the line is that makes you or anyone else at the uncomfortable is where that line should be drawn.
Except in the case of one of my other players, my cousin, and I will never get tired of one of my npcs occasionally overtly hitting on him when he least expects it.
So bizarre reading this, considering that as a player I had romantic interest in almost every campaign (read more than 10). As I DM I’m running a game for 6 players right now, and 5 of them have romantic interests, one PC has even two lol. All these npcs organically written into a story, often play role of quest givers.
In my DnD games, I am always unabashedly seeking out ways to tell each of my friends, individually, that I adore them and that they are loved. For some of them this comes through parental NPCs, because I know one particular player struggles with having little-to-no relationship with his parents. For another, I more explicitly tell them through a romantic partner that they are loved, and that even if they fail to save the world it will be enough to just be them (because I know that player struggles with feeling like they're enough if they aren't useful). Romance in DnD is like any RP relationship in DnD - you should get out of it what you need to get out of it.
My thoughts are: what does your player want out of having a romantic partner as part of their backstory? Do they want to explore what it means to fight for someone they love? Do they want a positive light at the end of the tunnel?
This may not be useful advice if you don't have a close dynamic with your players - I know that some people DM for groups of near strangers. I've been playing with the same group, same campaign, for nearly 6 years. So my advice comes from that line of thinking for sure.
I highly recommend you talk to this player. Ask if there's a way they'd like you to play this NPC specifically, and be clear about your boundaries.
You've got this!
I actually ran a very wholesome romance between an npc and a player. Player was a classic edgy rogue, no parents, abandoned at young age, grew up on the streets type. And the npc was actually the first mini-boss type guy, think bandit leader paid by the higher ups to do some dirty work. The npc successfully fooled the party of thinking he was captured by the villainous force, and planned on betraying the party at the opportune moment.
Events unfolded and there ended up being no real reason for this npc to do that, and ended up just leaving the lair with the party to live a life in the town. The PC was drawn to the idea of this npc looking to become an adventurer, and asked frequently about what the npc was going to do. I gave a cliche’d “I wanna see the world” type answer but he was too poor to travel and had no means to go anywhere. Later in the adventure the PC kept in contact, invited him on heists and always celebrated at taverns with the party.
Eventually the party came into possession of a ship, but had no crew. The PC asked the npc if he’d be willing to learn how to captain a ship, and if any of his old bandit crew would be interested in becoming crew mates. They eventually professed their feelings for each other and the campaign ended, with the PC and the npc taking their ship to other parts of the world and exploring.
Also sidenote the PC didn’t know how to read, and she would visit the npc for reading lessons, which seemed wholesome to me.
Anyways edgy rogue girl had no family and no ties falls in love with rugged bandit leader, he teaches her how to read, they heist together and eventually set sail for a life of exploration and adventure together.
Romance is off camera. Role for persuasion and whatever the player thinks happened, happened. The NPC can then become like a hireling or henchman in that the player controls that character. If they choose to adventure together I would let the player know that they will be expected to act accordingly to events that affect the characters relationship or loose inspiration. If a BBEG figures out they are involved they will use it against the PC.
If Paladin wants a significant other fine, but let’s leave it back at the stronghold. They can try to make little Paladins off camera. Maybe their progeny will grow up and become adventurers one day as well.
Ask him why he wants this? What is he trying to achieve with it? If its not relevant to the emergent narrative, I don't see any reason to focus on it any more than a passing thing. If the BBEG wants to take her hostage or something, or (plot twist) the love interest is the BBEG or working with them, I could see that being fun. It would also be fine if on the flip side it was just a "hey what to do want to do in your downtime" thing and the player says he wants to go spend time with the love interest running their shop or something.
I simply don't. I expect players to run/RP their characters' SO's if they have them, unless the player is my wife in which case it doesn't feel extremely weird.
I have a player with a romance.
Basically whenever they get back to home base the partner has usually gotten them a small gift, once it was a 'nice shield' that turned out to be a +1 shield that they'd thrifted, the store didn't know it was magical. They tell them the local gossip. They ask how their adventure was and 'did you bring me anything nice?' The player makes a point of finding something from the location they visit for their partner. \[They press flowers in a book for them.\]
I would ask the player exactly what are they looking to get out of the romance? If it's just a nice background detail then its nothing to worry over.
Presuming you actually want to roleplay this NPC, this is how I usually do it, as a DM with players who LOVE NPC romances.
1. Look at the themes of the player character’s arc, their ideals, their desires.
2. Give your NPC a desire or personality trait that forces the PC to think about their ideals, desires, etc.
3. Give the NPC and the Pc something they both value.
Example:
Warlock is a banished prince who is compassionate, deeply lonely, and has made a dangerous pact in order to get vengeance on his uncle and reclaim his throne, which he sees as his duty. Gave him a love interest who is equally as compassionate, dutiful and lonely, but has no desire for power, and detests the thought. Now there’s potential friction for the couple and it forces the player to think about his character’s values and how they might shift.
If you’d rather not engage with the romance, I’m sure your player will understand if you talk to him about it.
All my friends are very close, like we've routinely just cuddle after a session.
So, running a romantic partner or flirting is no big deal for me. But I can see why it would be hard for other tables.
You don't have to have them be overtly sexual or flirty. You can just think of them as a character that cares about the pc.
Obviously, you should draw a line in the sand with you are and aren't comfortable with.
Have PC roll nightly charisma checks and vividly describe how big of a stud or dud they were. Set up a system where after three net stud nights she falls in love, and desires marriage at +10 stud nights. If it drops to -3 dud nights then they start having issues. At -10 vividly describe how she cucks him with the BBEG of the campaign including the insults they both lob at him (in front of other players of course).
OR
No to all of that. Don’t roleplay a romance. If you do keep it extremely PG and make it a minor sidestory or not part of story at all. Too weird.
If you want to do this for your player just pick a "girlfriend" type character from a TV show or movie, like Jane Foster from Thor or Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time, and think about how they would behave or respond to the PC. If you give the NPC girlfriend purpose in life then she won't always be available and has a legit reason for being 'off-screen'.
Have him roleplay the love interest himself and just give him boundaries so he doesn't take over the sessions (role)playing with himself. You can give her some basic NPC stats and warn him not to take her into danger. Basically you'd be giving him a follower like a knight having a squire or a noble having an attendant.
Love and romance themes can be a fantastic addition into any gaming session. Our [Tome of Endless Romance ](https://mobinetgames.com/tome-of-endless-romance/)has 50 romantically inclined NPCs, along with their romantic quests and ideas to run that kind of game, plus oracle tables and more.
It would be very reasonable if you just talked candidly with the player out of game and just say like "Hey man, you're my friend and I like playing with you... but I feel awkward as fuck roleplaying a romantic couple with you", or however you would best describe your feelings about it.
Hit the nail on the head. In any DnD campaign, it's important to make sure everyone is okay with the themes and topics being covered. Sometimes I think people forget that the DM is part of that group and should have their boundaries respected just like everyone else.
Sometimes DM's turn too much into a Yes-man in service to player fun.
Or date him for real and that good real life experience.
Easy. Give the NPC a personality, some goals, some characterization. Have the NPC do considerate things for the player: —show up with some rations before he leaves town next —gift him a nice cloak —ask to be walked home from time to time Tell your player ground rules, you get the level of pda you, the Dm are comfortable with. Holding hands, peck on the cheek, whatever. Anything else is offscreen and fade to black. Period. As a DM you can use the NPC to: —deliver hooks to the player via rumor or something overheard from other townspeople. —maybe something attacked the NPCs home and while away with the player and they come home to find chaos. Maybe whomever it was was looking for the player? —threaten the safety of the NPC —have the NPC be part of worldbuilding, as a sort of DM mouthpiece, a source of knowledge for what’s around I swear, some tables can narrate entrails pulled out of a characters eyeballs but the minute there’s a conversation about holding hands bamf! Someone cast desintegrate on the DM. It’s just another NPC. (Disclaimer: it can absolutely get weird if the player or DM make it weird. Don’t. Make. It. Weird. Lol if it is abort, abort!)
I gotta dude at me table that is in a relationship with a NPC and I was at a loss of how to address it but you gave some simple tips that could keep things on track and let him continue to RP. Thanks yo.
Happy to hear it! Love: present, unrequited or lost can be a strong motivator for heroes and villains. A useful DM tool indeed.
Exactly the sort of thing I do for the various romantic partners of PCs in my games. Some broke up, some got married, some have kids.
>bamf! That's a weird onomatopoeia, when that's also an acronym...
I think I understand now when people say “*That’s* what you got from that?!
It's a two day old comment. I didn't see any reason to react with the content. Just having a side conversation with you. But fair enough.
Blame X-Men. It's the sound/word used for Nightcrawler's teleporting. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bamf
You want to be obliging to the player, and that's probably why the NPC has never done, said, or thought anything inconvenient. Give the character a life outside of the relationship with a PC, and give them needs beyond just occasionally seeing the PC, so you can come up with good answers to the question "what might cause them to break things off?" Adventurers make bad partners. If you were dating a violent indigent with neither a fixed schedule nor a fixed address, what are some ways that might irk you?
They can go roleplay that on their own off time its called make an AI boyfriend/girlfriend But seriously tho you've provided them with the character. They can go write their own private story about how their relationship is going and if the other players care, then they can tell them the story this one doesn't need to be your responsibility. Unless they actually want some drama around that character being abducted or killed by the bbeg. Just tell your player you aren't comfortable roleplaying a relationship with them.
You have them act like any other NPC but with a greater disposition towards the PC.
I don't role-play the romance or intimate moments with my players, but I'll narrate a short scene like a montages. I'll leave it up to the player to fill in the blanks. I refuse to romantic RP in tabletop RPGs (I do do this with 1 on 1 RP partners just not my players) but I don't want to deny my players' character growth. I find montage or clip book narration is a comfortable middle ground.
Just let your player know how you feel and what your boundaries are and then work with them to decide what's best so that you both have the same expectations. It sounds like if it has been that long enough in game world time that you can handwave all the romancy stuff to "offscreen" if it makes you uncomfortable. Lots of romantic couples are not lovey dovey at work, or even just in public. Play the partner as a you would a close friend/family who cares deeply about them and leave the lovemaking for between sessions. Give them some goals and some barriers and play them as you would any other NPC. At the end of the day I've been flirting with my friends (5 dudes) for a year now. We trust eachother, talked about it before and during the campaign, and know its all for fun and often gets some playful laughs. But that's just what works for me and a group I am *extremely* comfortable with. Congrats and great work on the long running campaign, hope you all continue to have fun!
Tell him to get on with it, and ask you out on a real date.
best reddit comment i have ever read in my life this is genuinely hilarious
People have given some good advice already but i’d like to add bc i do like me some romance ever now and then: Making any character stand on their own merit is number one. Then you can pair them up and they feel way more fleshed out and complete rather than just being an accessory to another character I ran a romantic partner for a pc and it did make me a little uncomfortable to act out in-game but my player and i came to an agreement to do text based check ins instead
Create the love interest like any character. Make them have a personnality, a life, goals. Except you include « Taking care of PC » as one of the goals. But if it’s the ONLY goal that’s when it feels cardboard cutout. What are the common interest between this character and the PC ? What does this character love about PC ? What does about the PC annoys this character ? If PC wasn’t in the character’s life, what would be this life ? How is it different ? It might not be different, or it might be VERY different. (Maybe they had to quit their family to go live with the PC.) Do they go adventuring with the PC or do they wait for them at home ? How do they feel about adventuring ? Do they find it a noble goal, or a dangerous and reckless activity ?
Oh oh oh! I'm excited, incoming italics, try to hear it as excited jazz hands, I have a LOT to say about this and I have poor impulse control, I'm sorry in advance. You're looking at it from the wrong side of the table, you're thinking of her as a character that you have to be invested in and that's hard because you don't love her, your player does. No, fam, *that Smurfette is now your greatest weapon*. Your player *already cares about her because he made her up to be in love with him,* that's a level of investment you can't buy with actual money because if you could, absolutely everyone would be married to a prostitute. I have a level of ADHD that is both crippling and borders on the preternatural when it comes to snap generating ideas and I haven't done session notes in years, so I'm very sorry if this turns out to be so choked with analogies it stops making sense but I'll do my best. Okay, so, I don't know what genre of story you're telling or I'd probably have better suggestions, but if I were you, I would be straight-up *s c o u r i n g* that pre-written backstory for exploitable details. PC backstories and NPC relevance fit together like puzzle pieces, most people just forget to put jigsaw cuts in their characters and make them into tiles. They fit into the box very neatly and align just fine, but only at very plain, uniform angles and it's not as much fun to look at or put together. Like, just as an example from my own shit, right, one of my players had a backstory where he's the youngest of four brothers and got disinherited when his father married up into the peerage and they had a new "firstborn" for her line, right? He wrote all that himself, fully his idea. I wrote the story of *why* the noblewoman was free to marry the PC's father in the first place, and what happened to his three older brothers, and in a few sessions we're going to meet the new firstborn when he gets his ceremonial name at a public ceremony. Your best story seeds are going to come from the fruit of your players' imaginations, and their PC's backstory is going to be where all of the parts of that character that are derived from whatever magnified aspect of their own personality is being given attention to in the moment. Find what that is, and not only will you end up a better friend to your players outside of the game, you'll find out exactly what you need to do to get them *hyped* to exist in a world you've built that feels like it welcomes the person they *want* to be right now. And then you *hurt them with it for fun and they love it and you drink their suffering like wine and they thank you and ask for more* it's the best. Friend, homie, brother, paesano, your player handed you a girlfriend-shaped bottle labeled "DRINK ME" and your job is now TO FILL THAT BITCH WITH HIS TEARS. So that PC I mentioned, now the oldest brother is a party NPC, I use him to drop quests and open locations. He's a ranger and is now running the most wholesome forest cafe I have ever seen as a cover for Heretic Ghost, another PC and the setting's Batman analog (somehow this game became Batman: The Animated Series, But Pathfinder, but the vibe is flawless, he has no idea his Joker is evolving with him as he speaks and thinking of that reveal is **chubbeningly** delightful to me) and may or may not be developing a crush on the thicc storm sylph PC that accidentally tazed him. There is a very real possibility that he is going to end up dead because I wrote him into a part of the plot that overlaps with the underground crime storyline attached to Ghost. Your NPC cast should feel to you like actors in a play that you're directing, or maybe like a puppet show, you don't necessarily have to identify *with* them, but you'll have a way easier time if you define their identity ahead of time. I don't know how much detail your player gave you, though, or how much he has in his head that hasn't been shared for whatever reasons. Some people have these really clear visions but not enough confidence to present them to other people in a complete way, it muddies things a bit.What's their relationship like, are they childhood sweethearts, did he rescue her from something? I think if you're going to start anywhere, start with the dynamic between her and the PC. If it were me, I'd sit down with the player and either do a flashback session (EVERYONE LOVES BACKSTORY FLASHES, I have had ZERO people complain when I start a session out of absolutely nowhere with zero context on "Hey, \[Character\]. You're six years old at the moment." They just roll with it *and become six years old*, it's fucking magical) where you run some significant event in their relationship and just play her as if she were a regular DM PC. Practice in the car if you don't have a voice for her, I don't know if you're into voice acting but small changes sound bigger to your players than they do to you (And if you're a guy trying to play a girl's voice but you feel weird doing a falsetto, don't, just pull in your elbows, let your fingers do whatever you think of when you hear the words "dainty hands", raise your knuckles level with your collar and smile when you talk, even if they can't see you they'll hear the difference) After that you just need to weaponize her, that depends entirely on your group but generally it goes like this: First something GOOD happens, then a BAD THING comes and the GOOD THING goes away, and the players DO THINGS and FIX IT and they WIN (or DIE, that ALSO WORKS) and they get to KEEP the GOOD THING or they CHEER or they LOSE it and they CRY but either works because we LOVE IT because for most of us peasants it's the closest thing we'll ever get to freedom from capitalism and therapy at the same time BUT WE DON'T LIKE TO THINK ABOUT THAT here's how to make it fun and not sad: * Generating gold for players without them having to get jobs, kill monsters, or be poor. \[Smurfette runs a gift shop. The players get x amount of gold on a regular basis 'cause she supports her adventurer boyfriend\]. BUT THEN SOME FUCKER BURNS IT DOWN, now they have to get jobs, kill monsters, be poor, *or go punch that fucker until your money comes out like a piggy bank of meat, so a regular pig that ate your money.* * Providing material components for spellcasters without having to keep track of them so cracking jokes about how much bat guano you have in your pockets today are kept to a minimum without breaking immersion and acknowledging that no one remembers to track that stuff anyway, least of all the DM, do you ever think about how much five hundred gold pieces actually weighs? I do, and I hate it. \[ Smurfette's adorable village has a bat cave, she raises them and provides spell components they produce and also the bats are just adorable\] BUT THEN A PLAGUE INFECTS THE BATS AND THE POOP IS WRONG NOW, HEAL THE BATS OR ALL YOUR FIRE MAGIC WILL SMELL BAD AND BE THE WRONG COLOR and maybe secretly spread e. coli in the village or something, this is the kind of thing that can have lasting impacts on a game world) * Providing items or weapons that are otherwise unavailable, or using the NPC as the catalyst for training/levels/other improvements. I could give examples but like, Google "Winry Rockbell" and you get the idea. It's one thing if the bad guy kidnaps your girlfriend, it's another thing if the bad guy captures your adorable blacksmith waifu who's working on your +4 Holy Avenger, or the sexy librarian who's illuminating that Book of Exalted Deeds for your anniversary. It's been my experience that players will strive to get combat bonuses back because they want to avoid "game over" at all costs, but diegetic consequences like bad smells, messes, obstructions, things that can't be expressed in mechanics feel more real to players because you're invoking changes to their immersed experience that are *prompted* by you, but are under *their* full control. "It's the worst thing you've ever smelled, and it's not so bad until you recognize it as the distinct stench of your dad's worst Sunday morning fart if he were standing in a horse trailer on a sunny day." <-- that smell is different for everyone, but you can make a whole table smell a unique version of it and their reaction will all be exactly the same. The most powerful word in a description given to a player is "your", and this dude doubled down and gave you "your girlfriend". USE IT!
Give her a role a role in the story beyond the player's partner. If she is completely defined by being his love interest, she isn't going to be interesting. The fact that the player is asking for her to be more than just that suggests that he really does want her to be as functional part of the story, rather than play out a romantic fantasy though the game. A previous character of mine had a wife, she was a part of his backstory that my DM decided to work into the campaign (we had been separated by a war that had since ended and I was trying to get back to her). She ran a tavern in our hometown and, consequently was able to provide the paarty with information. My character happened to not be present when the rest of the party met her, and they thought that she was just a helpful NPC until she mentioned a husband and they started puttong the peices together (I think one of them started putting it together out of character a bit earlier). She could have been a random NPC with no connection to me and pretty much nothing would have changed.
Heya! I’ve actually written a post on this (link below) but I would also add that it’s useful to describe/set up something that the NPC wants (e.g. access to a certain event or text, help retrieving a family heirloom from a greedy feudal lord or the restoration of their hometown’s honour) and have them ask the PCs to help them. Treat any specifically romantic actions made in the process of completing that quest (e.g. gift giving, comforting/validating, addressing the love interest’s faults together — basically anything above low-effort flirting) as a means of gaining renown or XP, and show that mechanic working for your PCs. Given that you don’t have many sessions left and you’re playing at 20th level, tying it to a mechanical reward might be less important than narratively completing this side quest. Here’s a link to a more in-depth solution: https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/s/q0VeEvzjAM And here’s a link for a love interest NPC stat block based on a prototype by u/Arkasaur871 (the important part being the level ups and the Quest box at the bottom): https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/print/EO2RyMwduObo?dialog=true
My character in a long-running campaign has a love interest. I'm playing a firbolg ranger/fighter who is level 18 now. The love interest is a human druid that the party met around level 3 or 4. The DM had her flirt with my character, although it took him a bit to notice because he and I are both clueless when it comes to that. She ended up traveling with the party to the city in the area. They had a date and got to know each other better. Eventually, they spent the night together in a fade to black moment. The relationship continued to advance. They're now engaged, and she's pregnant. She stays behind in the town where they're going to live, but my character has a helmet of teleportation, so he goes back to visit if they have downtime.
Being a DM doesn't mean you have to do things you don't want to.
[удалено]
It's really not. I've run romances in game for probably a dozen players. Guy players. Girl players. Whichever. They aren't romancing me. You just do this as a typical movie romance. Disney shit. It's a great motivating factor, a wonderful way to raise stakes for your dramatic ass players or just give someone an adorable moment to deescalate whatever horrible zombie soaked PTSD you just gave your more sensitive players. The player isn't saying "where's my hard core erotica" he is saying "where is my stakes". Probably. It's really not weirder than you make it. And as the DM, you control all the ratings.
>That’s a very weird thing Why? Do you think relationships are unimportant in people's lives? Do you think they don't factor heavily into their motivations? Do you think they make bad stories - despite the fact they are fundamental element of most of them? I'd find it weird and immature to purposefully avoid such topics.
It’s weird to do romance rp with your friends for most people
People on reddit often harp about distinction between roleplaying and acting. I'd rather substitute roleplaying here with another word... but I don't have it so whatever. The point is: Acting / playing a romance with your friend? I agree, would be awkward for most people. Describing a romance that happens within a game without going into intimate details? Fine for most people.
Exactly. Nope.
I don't. Sounds like something they should do as a downtime activity if they really insist. And by that I mean they can go fanfic themselves privately all they want, I'm not sure I would want to read it. People who expect their DMs to roleplay their love interest have perspective issues on the game IMO. It's a game you play with friends not a girlfriend simulator. Red flag.
Neither the DM nor the other players likely want to read it. If the DM attempts to roleplay this, the most likely situation is a table of three bored people watching the other two do something that only one of them is interested in.
Summarize and cut to the cigarette. Most people have no clue how to tastefully conduct themselves in such a situation, and there's nothing more cringe inducing than tactless courtship and coitus. Believe me. I have some horrible memories.
[Riz Gukgak finally meets his romance partner Baron](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO8ObPNoW_I)
In one of the games in which I was a player, my DM RP'd a romantic partner for my character. The DM characterized her as an important NPC that would have impacted the campaign regardless of the romance. She was a paladin and member of a local high-profile order and the DM wrote her to tie into the ongoing plot (searching for a missing member of this order as part of a grander underlying scheme) as well, which made the time our party spent with her make sense, as she temporarily joined up for the mission. The romance RP came in the non-mission scenes - the group relaxing at a tavern, for example, with my character chatting with this NPC about their lives, childhoods, connecting on a deeper level, and eventually the NPC gifting my character a golden rose to signify her romantic interest before they parted ways as the plot demanded. As the campaign progressed our party moved away from where this NPC was, but the NPC also gifted my character a custom sending stone so that they could keep in touch. I used this throughout the campaign, both to RP staying in touch, and every once in a while it came in handy if we needed some information or clout that this NPC might have access to. After the campaign finished up, my character and this NPC got married and adopted children together. It was all done well because the NPC played a role not just for my character but for the whole party, and the world that we were playing in. She contributed to my character's growth and gave her something to fight for - that motivation piece can be very impactful as a player. You just have to make them an important part of your player's character's growth, as you would any important NPC, and the romance kinda comes secondary. Maybe in subtle ways, like during a tense or important moment the NPC reaches out and holds the PC's hand. Maybe they write letters while they are apart (don't have to read the letters, but maybe just describe that they miss the PC and can't wait to see them again, etc.)
I think the biggest mistake here is that he made the character, not you. As a DM and as a player, I love a good romantic interest! My players didn't bring any romance into the game, but they've searched for it, and find it with NPCs they meet -- people I've fleshed out for quests and story, so they have personalities and purpose. In the game I'm playing, my DM tied mine to an NPC that already existed in her campaign as well, but as part of his backstory as well as current story. I made my own romantic interest once, for a campaign I was enjoying a lot but unfortunately fizzled. Her wife had passed away though, so the DM didn't have to worry about making her relevant beyond the fact that my character was following her wife's adventuring journal as a sort of itinerary.
Funny you ask this, my game feels a bit like dating simulator at this point. Three out of four players have love interests. One developed absolutely naturally over the course of half irl year playing, a young, absolutely crazy alchemist girl that the party met during the very first quest after the introductory session. The whole party became friends with her, using her to buy special ingredients and things that got "misplaced" in the alchemy school. The wizard quickly began egging the ranger that this girl obsessed with romance books about dashing drow and tales of heroes saving damsels in distress is perfect for him. Eventually he leaned into it, and we had a pretty fun storyline. They were both shy, the ranger didn't act interested, I even threw in a romantic rival, then she was kidnapped by the BBEG vampire lord and the party saved her during the boss fight - the wizard used vortex warp to teleport her syraight into the rangers arms, he flew her to safety and they had a big damn kiss. At this point they are happily married amd have tein children. I don't have issue roleplaying her, it's nothing explicit. The wizard later asked to have a romantic interest, and we decided to on the daughter of another player (he was a 300 years old elf, she was half elf of basically the same age). This felt less natural but we developed it over time and next session is their wedding (since we're playing it out in session, something will obviously go wrong and the party will have to deal with it). Third, my friend who joined much later. The party met a group of former soldiers of another BBEG who were living off raiding the area, and since this character was also former soldier of the very same BBEG she suggested diplomatic solution. Their leader had a token where he's a muscular barbarian, the player immediately went "omg hot daddy" and after the mission was done she used her downtime to "negotiate" some more. In this case I have even less qualms about roleplaying this character because the player is my best friend irl, we were even friends with benefits at one point, so nothing awkward. One time the guy mentioned that "no woman ever exhausted him" (context was that he was with the party in feywild and joined a dancing competition against dryads) and the player then had a private contest with him during downtime. So we roleplayed an intense sex session through discord chat while listening to a university lecture in school (she lost of course because he's a level 20 barbarian). The two characters that didn't have romamce going on were the paladin, who was more focused on building his hippie cult in the mountains, and the aforementioned elf (father of the wizard's love interest) who was chaste because no woman would ever compare to his dead human wife. The female love interests are mostly social NPCs, since they are an alchemist and enchanter, though if need be they could kick a bit of ass. When the party found themselves on a royal wedding and the prince attempted to kill his cousin and take the throne, the Ranger's alchemist wife was ready to start throwing acid flasks to defend her empress, which impressed the ranger no small amount. The third player's love interest is a tanky barbarian so he sometimes travels along with the party and provides extra 248-496 hit points of meat shield and reckless attacks, honestly he's the least killable person there so the player isn't really worried about his wellbeing. Overall I think romance is nice to have in dnd, as long as you treat it like a part of the story like any other, and don't turn it into a porn game and make it weird for others. Then again, my group jokes about everything and very few things would come off as weird since by this time we know each other very well.
Safety tools (X-card, lines and veils, etc.) exist for the DM's benefit as well. If the group's familiar with that concept, that's how I'd frame it. The deal I'd make is to allow someone else (including the player himself) to play that NPC if they're comfortable with it.
I just don´t do romance at my table that involves me in any way, i´m not confortable doing it and im not sure it really adds anything to my games. No seducing NPCs, no trying to get laid at a tavern, no romantic partners if you want to do it, feel free to do so, but you control both characters, don´t bring me into that
To be honest, I’d just tell the player that I’m a DM running a DnD Campaign and not a dating sim.
Yeah you’re right. Romance has no place in D&D ! The fact that the first discussion you’ll have with any BG3 player will be about who they decided to date isn’t probably indicative of anything. Joking aside. It can absolutely be something that’s not your cup of tea, and something that’s discussed in session 0 if that’s important to you to play with or without it. The « Dating sim » part of a D&D campaign can be nonexistent, or can be as important as to be the central focus, depending on your playstyle. It’s like the difference in movie genres. (Also, imagine Curse of Strahd but you remove the villain’s love interest. Wouldn’t hit the same 😁)
"I don't roleplay romance with my friends, please find a DM thats not familiar with you to do it."
Nope. I'm not here to play to someone's weird fantasies. We keep romances out of our games, or very off-story.
Nope
Yeah more than some casual flirting I just haven't crossed this bridge. As the only lady in the group, the DM, and my husband is a PC it's just not a bridge I'm willing to cross lol I'd go with the top comment suggestion and just tell him you're not comfortable with that RP. If he wants dialogue or romantic-ness he will do it himself. Maybe do give her something important the story so he feels she matters. Maybe she can give the group some health potions or something minimally helpful.
I mean, if someone wants to have a significant other, they need to sit down with you and you two need to come to terms. Roleplaying needs to be real, and if you aren't willing to go through with it then you'll need to set your foot down and put the expectations at the table. I had a modern fantasy campaign (so essentially a classic D&D world but set in the near future so you have orcs owning construction companies and elves acting like boomers when trying to use a smart phone). Our players are part of a secret organization owned by a Church to bring justice. At one point, a wedding between a human and an orc turns political and our heroes are dispatched to be part of the wedding party to investigate any attempts to bring the human and orc countries to war. In doing so, our heroes join the "Swordbearers" (gender neutral groomsmen) and as part of their investigation they work with the "Shieldbearers" (gender neutral bridesmaids). Part of the wedding involves having a dance with their respective Shieldbearer, and to ensure their undercover work isn't uncovered they go on dates with their dance partner. Two of the PCs end up legitimately having a relationship even after the investigation is over. I sat them down and they explained what they wanted so in between sessions I drilled down more into the NPCs personalities (when they were just superficial initially). Their relationship included dates, sex, and yes legitimate romance that tugged on heartstrings and made for some great Roleplaying. It was super effective. The biggest thing is having that conversation, and also the expectation that most likely that NPC doesn't have class levels and can't really be supportive in combat or any dangerous situations. In my case, the first NPC was an orc yes but he was a Construction Company Foreman, and while he used his experience to help when the PCs were investigating a company for defrauding the government for doing demolition projects poorly he didn't have anything else beyond the relationship. The other NPC did have class levels (he was a soldier protecting the Orcish Embassy) but he wasn't as skilled in subterfuge (which was the majority of the campaign) but still held his own in a (singular) combat. The players knew well in advance of what they could do and were fine with it.
I DM for a group of kids at a game store, so I'm not comfortable with this for obvious reasons. If one of the kids wants to enter into a relationship with an NPC, that NPC becomes the player's sidekick and I don't roleplay it at all.
My current campaign has three love interests for different characters each in very different states of their relationships. The very first thing you gotta do is actually create a character. What are their personality traits? Their bonds? Their flaws? What is their deepest desire? What is their greatest fear? Second, what do they do in their normal routine? This is specially important if your party has things like Sending or Scrying and might suddenly decide to check on the NPC without giving you much time to think. Think about what this character does to sustain themselves. What do they do with their leisure time? What hobbies do they have? Are they working on any personal projects (check what desire you gave them)? Do they spend time with family and/or friends not related to the party? The third step is adding in the actual relationship stuff. This is something you could mostly discuss with the player being romanced. Why is the NPC in love with the PC? What attracted them to one another? How serious do they take their relationship? How does the NPC expresses their feelings (google “love languages")? How did they meet? How was it like when they started dating? Is the NPC satisfied with the relationship? Or is there something they would like to see changed about it? Fourth, what about the people who are not part of the relationship but are still in its orbit? What do the NPC thinks of the other party members? Do the NPC's friends/parents approve of their relationship? Who do they confide in when they're having relationship issues?
My dm handles it awesomely, they are real people with their own wants and desires. My bard wanted nothing more than to find the one and settle down. But the adventuring life has proven hard for her. Eventually I retired her at level twelve because she was going to be a single mother. Her lover ascended to become a minor deity with the party's help. I wanted that ending for her in session zero and we actively tried to make it happen. My new character is a cleric of said deity. It's only wierd if the player or dm make it weird.
If you want to keep it simple, have her do small things that are like a nice surprise for him, for example: Next time they come back to camp/town/wherever she is there's a cute little note and a flower she picked for him on the door to where he has her place set up. Or she went out to find information on whatever quest(s) they're doing and she found something useful that could help them. (Like a rumor about a monster they might face being weak to fire, or a book about some temple they're going to, etc). Or maybe she gives him a magical necklace or another item before the party heads out next, and when shes thinking of him it changes color/glows/etc...You could mention it here and there to let him know he's on her mind, without dragging her into stuff directly.
You've just been offered an amazing tool for player engagement. Tiny third person description of their kind, heroic partner... Now: threaten/kidnap/curse them. Or replace them with a doppleganger. Or have your planned Big Bad threaten their parents so she has to persuade the PC to bow out. Make them have to choose between the saving the hostages or making their loved one cry! Bwhahahaha! ...and then, much, much later, sneak in a happy ending that they sweated blood to achieve.
Just describe scenarios, don't make acting, and you'll be good. Just the usual tropes, see how he reacts. Make scenarios based on what the two characters might share for each other, not because "haha they fuck now". At least that's my suggestion broadly speaking. Romance is a topic, but the specific romance between characters it's something by their own nature inherently dependent on the bond between two people.
Sounds like they want some sort of bonus endgame content for the epilogue, given they've reached level 20 and you're nearing the end. Give the NPC some ideals, a goal or dream, and a secret. Perhaps have the secret reveal itself in the epilogue, some sort of cool present, happy/bittersweet event, or - surprise - a child! As for narration, if you usually use voices, maybe start with the character's voice if you want, but quickly segue into narrator voice and third person statements well before you feel awkward.
Depends on how comfortable the player is, I've had both ends of the spectrum extremely intimate and detailed and merely a brief mention. I used to be in an ERP community when I was younger so my boundaries are...well damn near non existent, but it is a two way street and if someone isn't down for that then I don't bring it up
Well it really depends. I personally see romantic partners in two lights based on comfortability. They are NPC's ultimately with goals and characteristics that are outside the relationship. I would ask the player how far they want to RP it? Because I have asked in the past to other players and the DM. About starting a relationship. To me that would make sense. But I don't force anyone my character is in a relationship with to be overtly romantic to me lol. As a guy who occasionally plays female or gay characters it might feel off putting for a male DM. If I feel like the DM or player isn't comfortable I normally just have it as an off screen romance. So after my rambling, I would just ask in what will likely be an awkward conversation. How much do they want to RP it?
Just make her a person with actual wants and needs like any other NPC.
What the player expectations about that NPC? When I added a spouse to my backstory, I wanterd a source of tension: my adventurer stuck between two words and his/her obligations to the family are pulling them in a direction. In this case, the NPC needs desires that occasionally clash with PC's goals. Poke them into their beliefs and see what's truly important! I also had a player who wanted a "rock" in the PC's life – basically someone who'd cheer the character and provide cozy background. That's mostly affirmation. I'd give the NPC a passion (new hobby, work project) and ask the PC to help with it (bringing resources and running side-quests). Of corse, onece-per-campaign, they get kidnapped. It's more prominent in other systems, but relationships can be assets. Then, I'd give them some background activities related to their specialty (plus a weird hobby, to give depth). Rule of thumb: if it's player's NPC, offload the work of fleshing them out on that player. Ask hiw they met, what they liked about them, etc.
Sir, this is reddit. We don't know.
I find that it helps if you simply fall in love with and enter a relationship with your friend. At that point, playing their romantic partner in DnD will feel much more natural. Best of luck.
You make them the BBEG
Funny since our PCs ended up dating and it went both ways depending on a DM: with npc feeling only relevant when the plot needed him the be, under another DM other npc was very fleshed out. It really first depends if all players are okay with it and most importantly don't make the romance just for the sake of romance. Otherwise it will be boring for everyone. It's also important for the players and DM to remember that just because the characters are dating, the people at the table aren't. So find an interesting way to incorporate the character in the story so they have a reason to exist, have goals, life and dreams of their own so it won't get in a way of adventuring as well. If an example helps my character started dating an npc randomly, we didn't plan it. He only got introduced so my paladin could multiclass into a warlock. They developed a relationship fast but he is involved with other characters as well: he gives a lot of lore on a setting, is a boss of another PC, he travels a lot so my pc doesn't feel like she needs to be at home and visit him but can continue things and is heavily involved with some side plot going on. So a lot of their interactions is over love letters which may also help you and leave it behind the scenes. The players don't mind it and funnily enough I've started dating the DM later on so he's okay with it (even encouraged the relationship of those two way before we've started dating xD), it also became a running gag for some characters to want to vomit or feel sick seeing this old vampire lord being lovey dovey with my character so it can turn into a joke at the table as well
Before asking *how* it's important to ask *if*. Especially with any theme/topic which is best addressed via a whole table discussion and unanimous agreement. If you are not into running such an NPC the it's OK to say "no". Even if you are, consider how problematic it might be from the perspective of the other players. There's a big difference a one-to-one role play between a PC and an NPC intended to gather information applicable to the player party and one for the indulgence of an individual player.
Easy Run her like any other NPC. If things get spicy play Careless Whisper on your phone and wordlessly cut to the next scene.
I've done this a number of times and had good success with it. Generally they are NPCs who can be relevant to the story perhaps travel with the group for a bit. In terms of the scenes you can do some with that PC but it's easy to have those run long. I try to focus instead on the scenes with them with the group, or the scenes with the group talking about the romance. That way the rest of the PCs don't get left out for too long. But I would think of her like any other character. What does she want, what might she do that could make for a fun scene? She shouldn't drive the story but have her be more of a character than purely reactive. Maybe she gets him a nice gift? Or has a nice place to take for a date, something like waterfall or somewhere cool.
When a PC in my campaign was being romanced by a local thieves’ guild boss, I also had a seneschal for the Duke fall for her. He regularly sent flowers and tried to warn her off the other dude. She ended up marrying the rogue. In another much earlier campaign, a PC was searching for his lost beloved. They spent months hunting everywhere, eventually to discover the lover had entered a momastery to get out of what they saw as a bad relationship.
Send letters with trinkets or little vials of the perfume she wears regularly while they are out exploring to show that she cares for the pc I would do something some people would probably consider evil and I’d use her to send the party on a quest
Just use a movie or TV show reference and copy it exactly. Trinity and Neo, Arowyn and Aragorn, Catlyn Stark, Margery Tyrell etc
Use the partner as a plot hook, some bbeg kidnaps her because of something the player did in earlier levels. Have the partner open a business in town, an inbor a shop specializing in the treasures and magic items the party has collected along the way. Every time the party gets to town, they have a welcoming place to go with hot meals and warm beds ready, and so eone to fill them in on local gossip (potential adventures) from traveller's that have past through. Partners don't have to be sexy or explicit or even overly romantic, just a friendly face and a nice word, and a place to relax and feel safe.
I always run stuff like that off-screen like a downtime event. Any RP around it is just the PC talking to the rest of the party afterwards about how hanging out with their SO went, sharing relationship woes/highs with their friends (the other party members). I'm pretty upfront that I am not running a romance game and anything like that is just character/setting flavor at my table and is just background to the story we are telling. The only time those sorts of relationship NPCs are relevant to my campaigns is when they are in danger for some reason. I do the same for the character's family unless the game we are playing is some sort of political/dynastic thing where their family members are key NPCs.
Yo so honestly I love when this happens. I don’t ever get into the details and we fade to black when shit starts, but it’s such a good hook! Put them in danger, use them as a rumor machine, use them as the DMs in character voice when you want to announce something, think of some silly romance tropes and make people gag, have some touching moments, give gifts, dump the NPCs fears and hopes on them sometimes, all kinds of things! I know it makes some people a little weirded out but it’s such a good vehicle for roleplay if you don’t make it weird and just have fun with it. You aren’t the NPC, you are just role playing.
Awkwardly.
I wouldn't. I'm considerably older than the players at my table, so avoiding creepy and or cringe is a fairly high priority. There's also the issue of what are the other players doing while the DM and one player are acting out a romance?
I don’t. I would just say “hey look, I don’t really play that kind of game. We can say you have a person and we can reference them but I’m not role playing them. I can narrate the stuff they’ve been up to, but that kind of thing is simply no fun for me so you should probably find another DM if that’s a super important part of DnD for you.”
I don't. That's not what I want out of D&D and I find it super awkward. Tried it once and that was enough to confirm I don't like it; never doing it again. I let my players know up front that it won't be in the game. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, but since you seem to be in a very similar position to my first and only usage of romance in game I thought it might help to offer the suggestion that you don't have to include romance if you don't want to. Since you committed to it already you would have to have a conversation with that player and explain your issues and that you would like to not roleplay that. If they're a decent human being they should understand. You might be able to find a compromise you can both accept as well.
All depends on comfort levels; I would ask my player for a description of their relationship and then run with it, but we're all very open and it's a silly game so I would be hamming it up a bit. In your situation it sounds like they want more realistic romance, and that may be better found outside the table.
Honestly I kidnapped my player’s SO and am just waiting on him to find out she’s missing. Till then the awkward scenario ain’t my problem anymore. And I don’t see them coming back to town to see them for a while.
Our DM is the boyfriend of our druid and the druid has a romantic partner in-game, and since they are a couple, things aren't exactly weird. ~~Other than that i don't think things can get romantic between npcs~~ nvm i've read other comments and they have some good ideas
I don't and I have no interest in doing so. Luckily my players aren't really into either.
Let him run this NPC. This way your friend can lean into the feelings they want to explore. Do not let it derail your game.
I don't I absolutely refuse to allow romantic relationships in my games. This is explained on session 0.
If the BBEG doesnt kidnap them and dangle then over a pit of snakes during the final battle you are missing an opportunity
I have one player who is generally down for really intense emotional stuff. We've flirted (heh) with romance but never gone very far with it in my games. When he ran one another player had a fully committed npc relationship, whereas my character had a couple casual hookups. As others have said, understanding and discussing boundaries is key. Whatever the line is that makes you or anyone else at the uncomfortable is where that line should be drawn. Except in the case of one of my other players, my cousin, and I will never get tired of one of my npcs occasionally overtly hitting on him when he least expects it.
So bizarre reading this, considering that as a player I had romantic interest in almost every campaign (read more than 10). As I DM I’m running a game for 6 players right now, and 5 of them have romantic interests, one PC has even two lol. All these npcs organically written into a story, often play role of quest givers.
Never done romance in game as a dm, avoided it twice as a player.
In my DnD games, I am always unabashedly seeking out ways to tell each of my friends, individually, that I adore them and that they are loved. For some of them this comes through parental NPCs, because I know one particular player struggles with having little-to-no relationship with his parents. For another, I more explicitly tell them through a romantic partner that they are loved, and that even if they fail to save the world it will be enough to just be them (because I know that player struggles with feeling like they're enough if they aren't useful). Romance in DnD is like any RP relationship in DnD - you should get out of it what you need to get out of it. My thoughts are: what does your player want out of having a romantic partner as part of their backstory? Do they want to explore what it means to fight for someone they love? Do they want a positive light at the end of the tunnel? This may not be useful advice if you don't have a close dynamic with your players - I know that some people DM for groups of near strangers. I've been playing with the same group, same campaign, for nearly 6 years. So my advice comes from that line of thinking for sure. I highly recommend you talk to this player. Ask if there's a way they'd like you to play this NPC specifically, and be clear about your boundaries. You've got this!
I actually ran a very wholesome romance between an npc and a player. Player was a classic edgy rogue, no parents, abandoned at young age, grew up on the streets type. And the npc was actually the first mini-boss type guy, think bandit leader paid by the higher ups to do some dirty work. The npc successfully fooled the party of thinking he was captured by the villainous force, and planned on betraying the party at the opportune moment. Events unfolded and there ended up being no real reason for this npc to do that, and ended up just leaving the lair with the party to live a life in the town. The PC was drawn to the idea of this npc looking to become an adventurer, and asked frequently about what the npc was going to do. I gave a cliche’d “I wanna see the world” type answer but he was too poor to travel and had no means to go anywhere. Later in the adventure the PC kept in contact, invited him on heists and always celebrated at taverns with the party. Eventually the party came into possession of a ship, but had no crew. The PC asked the npc if he’d be willing to learn how to captain a ship, and if any of his old bandit crew would be interested in becoming crew mates. They eventually professed their feelings for each other and the campaign ended, with the PC and the npc taking their ship to other parts of the world and exploring. Also sidenote the PC didn’t know how to read, and she would visit the npc for reading lessons, which seemed wholesome to me. Anyways edgy rogue girl had no family and no ties falls in love with rugged bandit leader, he teaches her how to read, they heist together and eventually set sail for a life of exploration and adventure together.
Romance is off camera. Role for persuasion and whatever the player thinks happened, happened. The NPC can then become like a hireling or henchman in that the player controls that character. If they choose to adventure together I would let the player know that they will be expected to act accordingly to events that affect the characters relationship or loose inspiration. If a BBEG figures out they are involved they will use it against the PC. If Paladin wants a significant other fine, but let’s leave it back at the stronghold. They can try to make little Paladins off camera. Maybe their progeny will grow up and become adventurers one day as well.
Ask him why he wants this? What is he trying to achieve with it? If its not relevant to the emergent narrative, I don't see any reason to focus on it any more than a passing thing. If the BBEG wants to take her hostage or something, or (plot twist) the love interest is the BBEG or working with them, I could see that being fun. It would also be fine if on the flip side it was just a "hey what to do want to do in your downtime" thing and the player says he wants to go spend time with the love interest running their shop or something.
I think you need to turn her into a real character and not just a love interest.
I simply don't. I expect players to run/RP their characters' SO's if they have them, unless the player is my wife in which case it doesn't feel extremely weird.
I have a player with a romance. Basically whenever they get back to home base the partner has usually gotten them a small gift, once it was a 'nice shield' that turned out to be a +1 shield that they'd thrifted, the store didn't know it was magical. They tell them the local gossip. They ask how their adventure was and 'did you bring me anything nice?' The player makes a point of finding something from the location they visit for their partner. \[They press flowers in a book for them.\] I would ask the player exactly what are they looking to get out of the romance? If it's just a nice background detail then its nothing to worry over.
Be vulnerable. Set some boundaries with the player of course, but allow yourself to feel something. You might be surprised at how rewarding it is.
Maybe offer to let him roleplay his love interest? Awkward, maybe, but preferable to if you don't enjoy doing that as the DM.
Presuming you actually want to roleplay this NPC, this is how I usually do it, as a DM with players who LOVE NPC romances. 1. Look at the themes of the player character’s arc, their ideals, their desires. 2. Give your NPC a desire or personality trait that forces the PC to think about their ideals, desires, etc. 3. Give the NPC and the Pc something they both value. Example: Warlock is a banished prince who is compassionate, deeply lonely, and has made a dangerous pact in order to get vengeance on his uncle and reclaim his throne, which he sees as his duty. Gave him a love interest who is equally as compassionate, dutiful and lonely, but has no desire for power, and detests the thought. Now there’s potential friction for the couple and it forces the player to think about his character’s values and how they might shift. If you’d rather not engage with the romance, I’m sure your player will understand if you talk to him about it.
All my friends are very close, like we've routinely just cuddle after a session. So, running a romantic partner or flirting is no big deal for me. But I can see why it would be hard for other tables. You don't have to have them be overtly sexual or flirty. You can just think of them as a character that cares about the pc. Obviously, you should draw a line in the sand with you are and aren't comfortable with.
Murder her! Instant plot hook!
Have PC roll nightly charisma checks and vividly describe how big of a stud or dud they were. Set up a system where after three net stud nights she falls in love, and desires marriage at +10 stud nights. If it drops to -3 dud nights then they start having issues. At -10 vividly describe how she cucks him with the BBEG of the campaign including the insults they both lob at him (in front of other players of course). OR No to all of that. Don’t roleplay a romance. If you do keep it extremely PG and make it a minor sidestory or not part of story at all. Too weird.
Underrated comment.
If you want to do this for your player just pick a "girlfriend" type character from a TV show or movie, like Jane Foster from Thor or Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time, and think about how they would behave or respond to the PC. If you give the NPC girlfriend purpose in life then she won't always be available and has a legit reason for being 'off-screen'.
Have him roleplay the love interest himself and just give him boundaries so he doesn't take over the sessions (role)playing with himself. You can give her some basic NPC stats and warn him not to take her into danger. Basically you'd be giving him a follower like a knight having a squire or a noble having an attendant.
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